Wicked Game
by LonelyStargazer
Summary: Since her engagement to Ciel was cut off, life has been uncertain for Sarah Wakefield until she becomes a Silencer for the Queen. When tragedy strikes, she is forced back into the life of her ex-fiance. Things that were once sure are now uncertain. Though, one certainty is she will never be the same, if a demon butler has any say. Slow burn SebastianxOC. Rated M for future content.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Hello, all! Just a few notes before you begin...the main plot of this story begins in November 1887, which is *roughly* eight to nine months before the Kuroshituji timeline begins. This story will follow the manga's timeline and events.

Also, this is my first fanfiction, so please bear with me while I get used to how things work. :) Please feel free to review. Your feedback and constructive criticism are things to which I look forward. (Please and thank you) I do want to apologize for the length of this first chapter (and this author's note) but I wanted to get things rolling. My plan is to upload a new chapter every week, every two weeks at least...pending life and how many reviews I receive. I fully admit that if I do not receive reviews, that I will become discouraged in posting.

Last, but certainly not least, I give the disclaimer that, as much as I would like to, I do not own any of the Kuroshituji characters. The only characters I own are of my own creation. So, that all being said, please enjoy! :)

 **Chapter One: The Beginning of the End**

I remembered sitting on the window bench, looking down into the garden below. It was early spring, when the flowers, bushes, and trees burst forth with life. A soft smile graced my lips as I watched Lady Phantomhive reading under the willow tree by the pond, the gentle breeze causing her hair to softly touch her face. She had been so ill recently, it was a relief to see she had regained enough strength to venture outside. The sound of the drawing room door opening drew my attention away from the peaceful scene below.

"Sarah!" a joyous voice cheered, causing me to turn my head just in time to sweep the happy child in my arms as he ran towards me, arms outstretched.

"Ciel!" I smiled, laughing as I returned his embrace.

"I believe someone is pleasantly surprised by your visit," a voice spoke as the door closed.

"Lord Phantomhive," I said as I rose with a slight curtsy, his son still in my arms, "I apologize for the lack of warning. My father and I are leaving for France tomorrow and I wanted to say good bye before we departed, seeing as we will be away for several months."

Ciel began squirming in my arms, so I put him down. The instant his feet touched the floor, he ran straight back to his father, who picked him up. I smiled at the boy who would one day be my husband. It was a peculiar arrangement to be sure, with me being eight years his elder. However, my father was the Earl's right hand man and closest friend, save Lord Diederich. With my position as a marchioness, it was an advantageous match and both my father and Lord Phantomhive believed I would be an asset to Ciel in his future service to the Queen. It was my hope that, though I merely loved the boy as a brother at the moment, one day it would grow into a fondness and, possibly, a love that could be shared between a husband and wife.

"There is no need to apologize, Lady Wakefield," Lord Phantomhive replied as he came over to stand by me. Leaning in, he placed a tender kiss on my cheek.

"We are glad you came," he spoke softly in my ear.

Blushing at the intimate gesture, I looked down at the floor, my heart sinking with sadness. This was one of the last happy memories I had with the Phantomhive's. Taking the cue from his father, Ciel's face lit up, and, leaning over towards me as his hands cupped my face, placed an excited kiss on my lips.

"Ciel!" I heard his father playfully chided.

I chuckled, knowing full well that the child had meant to kiss me on the cheek, but had simply missed.

"It is alright, I-"

My response was cut off as I began to cough. Why was it so difficult to breathe? Falling to the floor, my coughing had become so hard I had begun heave.

"My lady!" Lord Phantomhive exclaimed.

I looked up and, if I could have, I would have gasped in horror as I watched the skin, muscles, and tissue melt off his face. Ciel shrieked in terror and pain as he met the same fate as his father.

"My lady!"

Their cries kept ringing through the air. I tried to call out, but I couldn't catch my breath. The smell of smoke filled the room, suffocating and heavy.

Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain on my cheek. I hissed in pain and blinked, shocked to find that I was in my bed chamber, my hand clenched underneath my pillow as I had reached for my gun to find that it wasn't there. Of course it had been a dream. That had happened four years ago. Earl and Countess Phantomhive were dead, but Ciel miraculously alive. But it had felt so real, especially the smoke. Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I looked to Cooper, my ladies' maid, who was leaning over me. Her hand trembled, the one which I concluded had just struck me.

"My sincerest apologies, my lady, but I had to wake you," she frantically said, hurriedly ripping the sheets away from me and jerking me to my feet. It was not in her nature to rush about like this.

I jumped as I heard something crash down the hallway, gunshots going off somewhere in the manor. My heart began to race as my hands fumbled to tie the band of the night coat that she had slipped me into.

"Cooper, what is happening?" I asked as I slipped my feet into the slippers she had tossed on the floor by me.

Her eyes reflected the terror that I was feeling in my heart.

"My lady, we are under attack."

I covered my mouth as I began to cough again. My eyes stung as I glanced over to the door of my chambers to see smoke billowing in the room from underneath. Without asking, Cooper placed a kerchief in my hand and placed it over my nose and mouth.

"Here, this will help with the smoke," she said as she glanced behind to me, dragging me by the hand towards the door.

There was a loud bang that sounded like thunder and then I felt the floor beneath me shake, knocking both Cooper and myself to the floor. We both struggled to our feet as the trembling of the house stopped. I reached for the doorknob, not caring that it was unpleasantly warm. I was about to open it, when Cooper gently touched my hand.

"My lady," she said as I turned to look at her, "no matter what happens, you must get to safety."

I nodded in understanding, steeling myself for whatever lay outside my chamber. Pushing me back to get in front of me, Cooper wrenched the door back and dashed out into the hallway. I paused for a moment, taken back by the wave of heat that hit me. However, I rushed out after her, not caring that the flames were quickly making their way up the hall towards us.

"There she is! Get her!" I heard someone yell.

The sound of gunfire rang out. Bullets splintered the wood floors and punctured the walls and caused shards of porcelain and china from broken vases to fall to the floor. I winced as some of the shards cut my right cheek. Adrenaline surged through my veins, urging me forward. Despite the danger I was in, I would not give in to panic. As the daughter of one of the Queen's guard dogs, this had not been the first attempt on my life that I had to evade.

Heavy footsteps followed close behind as Cooper and I ran into the study, locking the door behind us. She hurried over to a full length painting on the opposite side of the room and pulled it back, revealing the servant's hallway.

"They went in here!" someone said, followed by loud bangs as whoever was on the other side tried to break the door down.

I ran into the opening, turning to look back when I noticed Cooper didn't follow me.

"This will take you to a staircase at the other end of the manor. Take that down to the first floor. Then turn right and follow that to the exit in the back," she whispered hurriedly.

"I will," I answered with a swift nod, grabbing a torch that was near the entrance.

Without another word, Cooper slammed the picture back in place. As I ran, I heard a loud crash apart from the bangs. I assumed Cooper had knocked over the insect display to block the entrance. Gun shots echoed down the stone hallway, urging me to go faster. I heard cries that I knew were Cooper's. My heart sunk as I registered that I would never see her again. She had been a wonderful ladies' maid to me, almost like a second mother to me. I would miss her terribly.

My thoughts were interrupted as the loud thunderings of an explosion came from in front of me. I was thrown to the floor, my body reacting before my mind as I scurried back in the direction I had come as the ceiling and hallway collapsed in front of me. The torch I had dropped was snuffed out and I was engulfed in total darkness. Ears ringing, I froze as I waited for my eyes to adjust and for what remained of the hallway to stop shaking. The tension in my shoulders lessened somewhat once I noticed that my hurried breathing and heartbeat were the only sounds that filled my ears.

I turned my head either direction as I strained to see anything that might lead me to a suitable exit. Excitement flooded my veins as I saw a golden light coming from underneath a door that wasn't too far away from me. I gingerly got up, being careful with the steps I took, knowing all too well that any misstep could cause an avalanche of stone in which I would be trapped.

I eagerly gripped the door knob and swung the door open. I squinted as my eyes adjusted to the sudden assault of light.

"Sarah!" I heard my father yell, desperation and sorrow clouding his voice.

"Pa Pa?" I asked, confused, as my eyes finally adjusted.

Before I could realize the scene I had stumbled upon, several strong hands gruffly grabbed my arms and jerked me into the room to stand opposite of my father. He was restrained by two men. His face was swollen and bloody from the blows he had sustained. Where his nightshirt had been ripped, I saw deep wounds from where he had been stabbed.

"Pa Pa!" I cried out, struggling against the men who held me in a vain attempt to get to my father.

"Well, well, so this beautiful dove is your daughter," a mocking voice said.

I tensed as I felt an arm wrap around my waist, forcibly pulling me back into the man who stood behind me. My heart raced as panic filled my veins as I felt the cold blade of a knife against my throat. His breath was hot against my ear and neck.

He chuckled before he continued, "This should help loosen your lips."

I felt bile rise in my throat as I felt his hand slowly travel down my abdomen. My father's face contorted grotesquely with rage.

"Don't you touch her!" he screamed.

"Then tell me where it is," the man's gravelly voice replied.

The man's hand paused for only a moment while he waited for an answer before dragging me forward until I was mere inches from my father.

The man behind me scoffed at my father's silence.

"You Englishmen really are heartless," he began, his hand traveling downwards again, "You would protect your precious Queen at the expense of your daughter's purity."

I silenced the whimper that threatened to escape my lips, looking to my father for help. He looked abruptly to the far right and left of the room, then on either side of me, and then focused his glare directly at the man behind me. Realizing what he was trying to communicate, I nodded my head minutely at his signal, showing my understanding. Of course, there were seven others in this room other than him and me. They would be easy enough to take out…if we could both get free.

I tensed, my back arching as I tried to move away as the man's hands moved underneath my nightgown.

"Oh, what is this? There is no purity to be taken?" he sneered in my ear, then added, "I didn't take you as someone who was experienced. So I guess the rumors are true."

It felt as if someone had dumped icy water inside my body as I remembered screams and cries that only I could hear.

"Leave her alone!"

One of the men who restrained my father struck him in the face. With a sickening crack, his nose broke and blood started pouring freely down his face.

"But still," the man continued, bringing his hand to my face, roughly directing my gaze back to him as I tried to resist, "with a face like that, you'll still fetch a handsome price. _He_ was very keen on making sure you were brought to him. Said you were special."

I looked down, capitalizing on not wanting to look him in the eye. He turned my face to look at my father once more. Fortunately, the momentary glance I got about the room allowed me to see that the man to my right was left handed and carried his pistol on his left hip. I grimaced as the knife was pressed against my throat harder.

"So what will it be, Wakefield? Your daughter or the Queen?" he asked, spitting the last word out like it was poison.

My father looked at me, no apology in his eyes as he remained resolute in his silence. My heart sunk slightly, though I was not surprised. Duty always came before family.

"Fair enough," their leader whispered, "Kill him."

I started at the sudden change in his decision. As the man to my father's right pulled a knife from his pocket, I fought against the hands that bound me.

"No!" I shrieked.

The man behind me laughed heartlessly as his subordinate slit my father's throat. I closed my eyes as I felt the stream of blood gush on my face and body, bathing me in the warm, metallic liquid. What would have been my father's screams only came out as horrifying gurgles.

"He was of no use since he wasn't talking. Besides, this is a fair, sweetheart, considering what you did to my brother," the man spat at me.

I stared, horrified, down at the bloody carnage that had fallen at my feet.

Suddenly, I felt the man's arm move to bring the blade across my throat, when he huffed in anger, the blade slipping in his blood soaked hands. This was my only chance. Without another thought, I bit down on his hand. His pained shrieks hurt my ears, but it accomplished what I wanted as his hold on me lessened. I ducked from underneath his arms, wrangling myself free from the other two men that held me due to the slipperiness of my blood coated arms. I grabbed the pistol from the holster of my left handed oppressor. With a loud bang of gunfire, I snuffed out his life. Quickly grabbing his body from behind, I used it as a shield just in time for the leader to lunge at me, stabbing his comrade's corpse instead of me.

I made quick work of the leader and four of the other men. I tossed the empty weapon to the floor as I looked about for a path of escape. The room smoldered with heat as the flames began to eat away at the door, greedily beginning to lick its way up the walls to my left. Turning, I realized my only option was the window. My breathing was labored and my arms shook from exertion as I drug the man's corpse along with me, his body quickly filling up with the bullets of his other associate. Reaching down, I swiped another pistol from the floor, answering his metal with my own. To my disappointment, due to the trembling of my arms, my aim was off and struck the man in the stomach rather than the heart. It would do, though, as he fell to the ground, clutching his stomach in a vain effort to stop the bleeding. I took advantage of this brief moment and thrust a nearby chair into the glass. The sound of shattering glass was met by the roar of the flames, sped on by the sudden burst of oxygen.

Quickly, I removed my night coat and placed it over the jagged edges of glass that jutted from the bottom of the windowsill. I did not have the time to make sure it was safe. Carefully, I pulled myself up, making sure I did not apply enough pressure for the glass to fully break through the fabric. As I did so, I studied the ground below. Thankfully it had snowed a considerable amount the past few days. Despite the fact I would be jumping from the second story, if I landed correctly, I should be able to make it without too much harm. It was still risky. However, considering my other options, I didn't see any better alternative. Though I'd have to be careful, I noted, my eyes narrowing. There were about twenty men searching the grounds for any survivors. It became clear in that moment that whoever had come to our manor tonight was not just looking for something, but was intent on eradicating us.

As I was about to launch myself off the ledge, my right ankle was grabbed from behind, my leg jerked back. The sudden movement caught me off guard. A scream tore up my throat as my right thigh was gouged and ripped by the glass that had torn through my night coat. Piercing pain shot from my hands and up my arms as I instinctively clutched to the windowsill, pieces of broken glass being ground into my palms as I struggled to resist.

In a last effort to survive, I released the sill with my left hand, blindly reaching for the pistol I had seen nearby. As soon as my fingers connected with metal, I clutched to my lifeline tightly, the tremors in my hands momentarily forgotten in the adrenaline rush. I turned slightly, just enough to see my target. Without hesitation, I pulled the trigger and a moment later, my adversary fell to the floor. The fire eagerly ate his corpse with the rest of his fallen comrades.

I clumsily pulled myself up on to the windowsill again. Shallow gasps escaped my lips as pain radiated through my body. Unfortunately, I did not have the time to make an educated leap. Rather, I toppled over the edge without grace or purpose, hoping I might be able to manage not killing myself doing this. But a few seconds later I lay on the ground. The world around me was spinning as I tried to regain the breath that had been knocked from my lungs. I heard cries from another part of the grounds. I let out a low growl as I struggled to sit up. I had been spotted.

Making quick work of it, I ripped a section of my nightgown and tied it tightly at the top of my right thigh. With more men in pursuit, I didn't have time to examine my wound, but if the amount of blood that was on my leg was any indication, I would need medical attention and soon. I grimaced as I pulled myself to my feet, using the wall to support me. There was only one place I could go nearby that I could hope to receive the help I needed. I had to hope against all hope that he would be willing. Without taking another moment to calculate the risk of approaching him again, I made my way towards the stables as quickly as I could. My right leg screamed as the muscles tried to work in moving me forward.

An image from the last time I saw Ciel flashed in my mind. The eye that wasn't covered by an eyepatch glared at me, his gaze cold and filled with anger. A door slammed in my face.

"It appears that Lord Phantomhive no longer wishes to see you," the smooth voice of the darkly clad butler echoed in my mind.

I could almost feel his breath against my ear, causing me to shiver.

"And I would recommend never coming here again," he added, though his tone was laced with the threat he intended to convey.

I shook the memory from my mind as I clumsily mounted the horse, tucking the rifle I had swiped close to my side. The cold winter air bit at my cheeks and exposed legs and feet as I urged the creature to flee. No matter what fate awaited me at the Phantomhive mansion, surely it would be better than the certain death that awaited me here. I had to try. It was my only hope.

"No matter what happens, you must get to safety," Cooper had said.

If I had only known.


	2. Out of the Frying Pan

Author's Note:

I'm uploading this chapter up a little early because I am going to be busy this weekend. A huge THANK YOU to everyone who favorited and followed! I am embarrassed to confess how excited I was when I saw that. So, here goes another chapter! Enjoy!

 **Chapter Two: Out of the Frying Pan**

My hands ached as I beat against the doors of the Phantomhive mansion. My breath came out in haggard gasps, the whisps of it disappearing as quickly as they had come.

"Help! Please! Someone! Anyone!" I cried, my throat burning from my screams.

I continued this for several minutes, until the only thing I was able to get past my lips was a strained whisper.

Silence was my only answer.

Shaking from the cold and blood loss, I sank to my knees, my hope slowly leaving me. I stretched out my right leg, watching as the blood slowly pulsed from the wound with each beat of my heart. Using the stone columns as a support, I leaned my head back to gaze up at the sky. The moon shone with her beautiful, ghostly light causing the snow that was falling to occasionally glimmer as it fell silently to the ground below. So peaceful.

The sound of hooves broke the silence. I turned to look down the drive where I knew the remaining company that had attacked us would appear in just a few moments. A heavy sigh escaped my lips, tears pricking my eyes as I realized that no one was going to come to my aid. In this moment, I was utterly alone. What a fool I had been.

I ground my teeth together as I gripped the railing to the stairs and struggled to stand. If they were going to kill me, I wouldn't go quietly. I was a Wakefield, and we never gave up without a fight. Rifle at the ready, I waited for the riders to appear, anticipation steeling me against the pain that radiated all over my body.

"We've got her trapped now, boys!" I heard one of the riders shout in excitement as the first wave appeared from under the shadows of the trees that covered the drive.

The sound of my rifle shot reverberated against the stone and glass of the mansion. One down. Without hesitating, I reloaded and fired off another shot. Another rider fell to the ground, the dark hole from the bullet resting between his eyes. I continued this five more times, hoping that I had all eight rounds, when a heart stopping click destroyed that hope.

I backed up slowly, watching in terror as the four remaining riders quickly closed the distance to me. My heartbeat pounded in my ears like a timpani drum. This was it. This was how my story was going to end.

An agonized scream escaped my lips as a bullet ripped through my left shoulder. The force of the blow knocked my back into the door. Unable to keep myself upright, my legs gave out and I crumpled to the stone porch, clutching my newest wound. My vision began to blur, my right arm trembling as I attempted to hold myself up.

"Lady Wakefield?" I heard a voice behind me ask.

I could have sworn I had imagined it until I heard a once familiar voice shout from behind me,

"What the blazes is going on out there, Sebastian?!"

My head snapped to look behind me, the look of surprise and disbelief that must have been showing was mirrored on the face of the dark-haired butler

"Ciel?" I whispered, looking from Sebastian to the figure that stood at the top of the grand staircase.

Our eyes met and I saw his eye widen in shock.

"Sarah?" his lips mouthed, though I could not hear him say my name.

"Sarah!" Angelina exclaimed as she ran past her nephew and down the staircase to come to me.

I ducked, curling myself into a ball as another wave of gunfire assaulted the front of the mansion as my pursuers began to make their way up the stairs. I tried to muffle the cry of agony that wanted to escape my lips, my right leg feeling like it was on fire. Bits of stone and wood struck me as the attack continued.

"Sebastian, let me go," I heard Angelina protest.

I glanced back to see Sebastian pulling her away from the doorway.

"Madame Red, I cannot allow you to go out there. It appears that these men want her dead."

My eyes pleaded for the help that my voice could not express as I looked into his strangely hued eyes. For a brief moment, intense pain reflected in those eyes, but it was gone as quickly as it had come. Still restraining Angelina, he turned to look back towards Ciel.

"What would you have me do, my lord?"

Ciel stood quiet for a moment, openly deliberating what he should do. Anticipation bated my breath, hope so painfully near.

"Save her, Sebastian. Take care of the others. That's an order."

"Yes, my lord," he replied, immediately releasing Angelina.

"My apologies, Lady Wakefield," his smooth voice called to me as he ran by, "This will only take a moment."

In the time I had to blink, the four men had fallen to the ground, all slain in an instant. Before I could register how they died, he had returned and carefully lifted me into his arms. I bit my lip, grimacing as the sudden movement sent another wave of pain washing over me. I felt lightheaded, my vision going in and out of focus as I was carried inside. The warmth of the mansion lessened my trembling somewhat and I could feel myself beginning to let go of some of the tension that stiffened my limbs.

"Take her to the blue room," Ciel commanded.

"Oi! What's going on?"

My curiosity piqued. There was an American here?

"Baldroy, come with me," Sebastian ordered as he ascended he staircase.

"Mey-Rin," Angelina's voice sounded from beside me, "Boil some hot water and bring it straight away."

"Y-yes, Madame Red!" a female voice replied.

"Tanaka, get me all the medical supplies you have," she continued.

My vision had clouded over almost completely as I was swiftly carried down the hall. What I assumed were paintings and lights were only blotches of light and dark. I leaned my head against Sebastian's chest, my eyes beginning to feel heavy as adrenaline no longer had control of my body.

"Sarah," Angelina's voice sternly broke through the fog that clouded my mind, "You have to stay awake."

"O..k…," I mumbled, struggling against my body.

We must have entered the bedchamber, because I found myself being laid down. Though, due to the hardness of the surface, I assume I had been laid on a dresser or table of some sort. The sounds of bustling activity were all around me, but I couldn't distinguish who was doing what.

"Tanaka, help me get her out of these things and get her covered. Baldroy, get some towels to lay on the floor," Angelina ordered.

"Sebastian," I heard Ciel call from outside the room. He continued talking to the butler, though I couldn't make out what was being said.

As I felt my nightgown being peeled from my body, I was internally thankful that most of the men had been sent away for the moment.

"No wounds on her chest or abdomen, that's good. Let's get her covered."

A warm linen was draped over my torso, my arms being brought back over so my shoulder wound could be accessible.

"Boiling water," Mey-Rin announced.

"Fresh towels," Baldroy added.

"Blimey," he mumbled once he got a good look at me, "what did you go through to get here?"

I hissed in pain as warm water was poured over my leg and was prodded as it was being cleaned.

"Something I'm sure she does not wish to discuss at this time, Baldroy," Sebastian interjected, then added, "I asked you to come to be of help, not a source of idle chatter."

Before Baldroy could object, Angelina cut in.

"Sebastian, Baldroy, come and apply pressure to her thigh. It is still bleeding."

Moments later a lightning flash of pain shot up my leg as the men did as they were told. I whimpered, my back arching in a natural reaction to the pain.

"Shhhh," Angelina cooed, gently stroking my face.

Moving on, she quickly examined my bullet wound and found that the bullet was still lodged in my shoulder, but had not struck anything vital and would not leave any lasting damage save a scar.

"Madame Red," Baldroy started, his voice laced with concern, "it's still bleeding."

She sighed heavily.

"Prepare the fire poker."

Her face appeared above me again, her eyes the only thing that reflected the concern she was feeling.

"Sarah, I am going to give you some morphine to help with the pain."

I nodded weakly, my eyes threatening to close once more. I felt the sharp prick as the needle penetrated my arm. I sighed with relief as I felt the edge of my pain being taken away by the drug. Though now it was even more difficult to stay awake. My eyes closed, impossible for me to keep them open anymore. I tried hard to press back the darkness that wanted to engulf my consciousness.

"Sarah!" a voice yelled beside me followed by a loud clap.

My eyes shot open, a brief shot of adrenaline keeping the darkness at bay.

"Listen to me," Ciel loudly spoke, bringing his face close to mine as he took my face in his hands, "You are not allowed to die."

I tried to smile, though it was a weak attempt at best. It was nice to know that the boy that wasn't sure if I should be saved a few minutes ago had decided he didn't want me to die.

"I'll try," I whispered.

My body continued to tremble despite the heat of the room and the linen that covered me, a sheen of sweat covering my skin.

"Angelina," I began, immediately feeling her by my side, "why do I feel so cold?"

"You're going into shock," she stated calmly.

"Baldroy, bring the poker, it should be ready by now. Mey-Rin, raise her left leg. Tanaka, help me with her right leg. We'll want to raise it as well once we've stopped the bleeding. Sebastian, come and hold her shoulders down. And, Ciel, help hand me the tools I'll need."

The bustling began once more as everyone fulfilled what Angelina had asked. I did my best to remain calm as a hard object was placed in my mouth. I had seen procedures like this done when my father and I had been on missions before. I knew that what was coming would be intensely painful and difficult to endure.

"Now you heard what my young master said, Lady Wakefield," Sebastian began, as he held my shoulders in place. Bringing his face close to mine from above, he continued, "You are not allowed to die."

I nodded again. Steeling myself for what was about to happen.

"Okay. Everyone ready? Good. On my mark," Angelina began.

"Just look at me," Sebastian said, calling my attention back to him. I obeyed, finding it strangely calming to look into his red tinted eyes.

"Three, two…," I heard Angelina say in the background.

I never knew if she had actually said "one". I struggled against all the hands that held me down as the excruciatingly unbearable pain lit my body on fire. Agonized screams ripped through my throat and I was convinced I had broken a tooth or two as I bit down. Tears flowed from my eyes as my nose stung from the smell of burning flesh. Black spots began to cover my vision as the darkness was indeed winning this time.

Moments later, the pain had lessened to a radiating burning and as my right leg was lifted as well, I knew the worst was over.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, as the darkness blocked even Sebastian's ruby tinted eyes from my view.

I thought I heard voices calling out my name, but they seemed so far away as the darkness pulled me deeper and deeper down. As I finally succumbed, I closed my eyes, the only coherent thought in my mind was spoken with Sebastian's honeyed voice.

"You are not allowed to die."


	3. Comfort in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

Hello, all. I just wanted to thank everyone who has taken the time to read my story! I hope you have enjoyed Sarah's journey thus far. Thank you to all who have favortied and followed. And a special thank you to **RuffRabbit321** and **Aservis Roturier** for reviewing!

This chapter is shorter, but hopefully still enjoyable. The subsequent chapters are longer, but I felt this was needed, despite its shortness.

Also, something I had meant to mention earlier…the inspiration for the title of this story comes from the song "Wicked Game" by Ursine Vulpine ft. Annaca. I recommend giving it a listen.

Well, I won't keep you all any longer. Thank you again for reading! Enjoy!

 **Chapter Three: Comfort in the Dark**

Darkness. It was all around me, feeling heavy, suppressing me and keeping me in this unconscious fog. From beyond its heavy curtain, I heard voices. Soft, murmuring voices. I tried to concentrate on them, trying to pull myself towards consciousness, my thoughts becoming clearer.

"What is it, Sebastian?" I heard a voice ask. Slowly, my mind stumbling in its train of thought, I recognized it as Ciel's voice.

"It is time that you prepare to retire for the night, my lord."

There was a brief silence before Ciel answered,

"I will remain here for the night."

A soft chuckle came from the butler.

"What's so funny?" Ciel demanded, annoyance clear in his voice.

"Oh, nothing, my lord. I just never took you for the loyal sentimentalist."

I heard Ciel give a huff of frustration.

"Don't be daft," he spat, then, changing the direction of the conversation, added, "I assume you did as I said?"

"Of course."

"Well, then?" he prodded.

"There was not much to be found in the ash and rubble, but I was able to unearth this," Sebastian stopped as Ciel let out a shout of surprise.

"It can't be!"

"Indeed, it appears to be the same ring."

Ring? What ring? Why did it make Ciel react as he did? I thrust myself against the darkness, trying to release its hold on me. If only I could open my eyes! But the darkness was too strong, too heavy to be moved. I felt myself being pulled into its depths, threatening to bury me once more.

Darkness.

The soothing sound of a fire crackling in the hearth welcomed me. I felt the warmth of the room against my skin as I felt the bandages from my various wounds being removed. As the darkness began to lift some more, I became keenly aware of how sore my body felt. My wounds still ached and hurt, though not as much as I remembered. I groaned, attempting to move to try to get more comfortable. However, as soon as I did that, pain shot from my right leg and up my back.

Someone quietly shushed me and I happily obeyed, feeling the pain lessen when I did. I opened my eyes, but frustratingly found that my vision was still blurred. All I could make out was a dark shape to my right.

"Be still," Sebastian's hushed voice instructed, "I am going to tend to your wounds."

A moment later, I felt something cold and wet glide up my thigh, instantly taking the pain away. A sigh of relief escaped my lips, closing my eyes to relish in the lack of pain. The same was done to my hands, shoulder, and cheek.

"There," he said, sitting on the bed beside me.

Bringing his face close to mine, his features became clear. I blushed slightly at his nearness, but more so as I realized for the first time just how attractive he was. Admittedly when I was on the verge of dying I hadn't quite noticed that.

"Better?" he asked, a slight smile gracing his face.

I nodded weakly and whispered, "Yes. Thank you."

"Good. Madame Red will return tomorrow and redress your wounds. For now, we will let them get some needed air. Now sleep."

My eyes closed at his words, exhaustion taking hold of me again as I slipped back in to the comforting void once more.

Darkness.

The feeling of a damp cloth being dabbed on my forehead awoke me. I relished how my skin tingled as the water began to dry.

"I understand your situation, Commissioner, but until Lady Wakefield can remain conscious for more than a few minutes, I won't let you question her," Angelina objected.

"Lady Dalles, with all respect, I don't think you do. It has been a week and a half since the incident and we are making virtually no headway in the investigation. A key witness like Lady Wakefield could change that dramatically. I understand that she is your friend, but your stubborn insistence is getting in the way."

Based on the Commissioner's words, I decided it would be best to remain still with my eyes closed until they left. I heard the something being set down, making a loud thunking noise.

"I don't believe that you understood my assessment when I spoke to you on the phone! She suffered multiple lacerations to her leg, face, and hands and a gunshot wound. She is recovering from hemorrhagic shock. And as if that's not enough, she's lost her home and her family. Speaking strictly as a medical professional, I estimate that it will be at least another week before she is anywhere near to being able to speak to anyone about those events. Now, if you would be so kind as to leave and wait for when _I_ contact you to inform you that she is ready to talk with you and stop getting in my way," Angelina answered, her last words laced with venom.

The Commissioner made an angry noise of contention, but was cut off by another man before he could object.

"We understand perfectly, Madame, please forgive our rude intrusion."

"Thank you, Abberline," she curtly replied.

Two sets of footsteps walked away from me before I heard the door quietly close. Frustration roiled within me at both the police and my body as I once again felt the numbing affects of the darkness taking over. Why wouldn't my body allow me to wake up? It had already been a week and a half. I did at least agree with the Commissioner on one thing…every day I was incapacitated was one more day the guilty were able to create distance between themselves and their crimes. I wanted answers as much, if not more than they did.

Darkness.

 _Flames. Smoke. Coughs shook my body as I wrenched a door open. My heart pounded as I heard the cruel laughs of the man behind me, desperately trying to break free as his hands travelled further down my body. I gazed in open-mouthed horror as I watched my father's throat being slit again and again. Fresh pain tore through my limbs as I relived the events of that night. They played back in a never-ending loop until I found myself pounding on the mansion door._

 _ **Someone please help! Let me wake up!**_ _My thoughts cried._ _ **Let me wake up!**_

I sat up with a jolt, my mouth opened in a silent scream. I recoiled as bright light assaulted my senses. My heart beat rapidly against my rib cage, my breathing hurried and shallow. Hearing an unexpected movement to my right, I instinctually moved to strike, ready to fight if I must. I stared in disbelief as a gloved hand took hold of my wrist, shocking me back to reality.

"That must have been quite a dream you were having, Lady Wakefield," the butler commented, with a look of concern.

Tears pricked my eyes as I continued to stare as my brain attempted to catch up to what was happening. That's right. I was at the Phantomhive mansion. I was safe. I had no reason for terror. Sebastian returned my gaze, seeming to be judging whether or not it was safe to release my wrist. Once my breathing and heart rate had returned to normal, he appeared to be convinced and released his hold on me.

"Sorry," I apologized, looking away from him as I unconsciously rubbed my wrist where he had gripped me.

"For what, my lady?"

"For almost striking you."

To my surprise, he appeared to be amused.

"There is no need to apologize. I have faced worse by the hand of my young master."

While I wondered to myself what on earth he could have meant by that, he wheeled over a cart with a tray holding a kettle and cup and several plates of delightful looking food. Almost as if on cue, my stomach growled, ravenous at not having been filled for so long. I felt my cheeks warm with a blush as another amused grin tugged at the corners of Sebastian's lips.

"Due to your weakened state, this morning I have prepared milk mixed with honey. It is my young master's favorite when he is going through particularly stressful situations. It seems to have a strangely calming effect on him."

I gratefully took the cup in my hands, enjoying how the heat soothed my palms. Bringing the cup to my lips, I felt the wisps of steam gently tickle my face as Sebastian named off the dishes that had been prepared. Taking a sip, I started as the warm liquid filled my mouth…this was delicious! I savored as I felt the warmth spread throughout my body, melting away the tension my body was still holding.

"Would you care for a crepe, my lady?"

My eyes lit up as looked at the plate he extended to me. If the drink had been so enjoyable, what would the food be like?

"Yes, please," I excitedly replied, though I tried not to sound too excited.

I awkwardly took the plate and fork, my bandages and healing wounds making it difficult to handle the smaller objects. It took an embarrassingly long time to cut a piece and securely get it to my mouth. Before I could stop myself, a delighted moan escaped my lips as the berries burst in my mouth, the cream and pastry combining to fill my mouth with decadence. I blushed again as I heard the butler chuckle, hiding a smirk behind the gloved hand he had raised to his lips.

"I will take that as a sign of approval. Now, as it appears that you can feed yourself, I will inform my young master about your progress," he said, taking his leave.

As he began to close the door, he paused.

"Oh, and, Lady Wakefield," he started, causing me to pause as I attempted to cut myself another piece of the culinary heaven that was on my plate, his lips moving into yet another smirk, "Try not to enjoy yourself too much."

I felt heat rush up my neck and into my cheeks as I realized what he meant. Unfortunately, it was too late for me to reprimand him, for he had closed the door before I could respond. Looking down at my plate, I calmed the frustration that his words had provoked. It was probably for the best. As satisfying the mental image of the look of shock on his face when the plate collided with his face was, I would've hated to have wasted this blissful culinary delight on such a childish retaliation. Taking another bite, I closed my eyes, letting out a soft sigh and, somewhere in the distance, I could have sworn I heard someone chuckle.


	4. Return to Reality

**Author's note:**

Hello, all. Another week, another chapter. Yay! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter and I hope that you all have just as much fun reading it. I wanted to have a little more fun mixed in with this chapter, because more serious events will be happening in the next chapter…and because playful Sebastian is always fun to work with.

Thank you to everyone who has read, favorited, and followed this story so far. We are to almost 400 views already! I am so humbled by your all's interest. I cannot tell you how much it means to me. A special thank you to **Akuma-Sama2002** and **RuffRabbit321** for taking the time to review. Your comments and questions are always appreciated and welcomed.

So, without further ado, I give you chapter four. Enjoy!

 **Chapter Four: Returning to Reality**

"Mey-Rin, I don't think it's supposed to fit like this," I sighed in exasperation.

With a quick glance in the full length mirror, I knew there was no thinking to it. It had been a half an hours and all the red-haired maid had been able to do was string me up uncomfortably in my corset and get me half-way into the borrowed mourning dress, sans bustle. My legs felt like jelly from standing so long. Honestly, I shouldn't have been standing at all. I was going to pay for it later, but, sadly, we would not have made it this far without me having done so.

"I apologize, Lady Wakefield, it's my first time ever dressing a lady and it's difficult to do when it's not yourself."

Her expression was a mixture of frustration and intense concentration as she looked at how my arm was awkwardly twisted in the fabric. Suddenly, she looked as if she had had an epiphany.

"I know, we'll move it like this," she began.

"Mey-Rin, I don't think that's a good-!" I interjected, trying to stop her.

The sound of ripping fabric cut both of us off. Unable to stand any longer, I flopped, undignified, onto the bed. My only consolation was that my arm was now in the sleeve and didn't feel like it was going to be popped out of joint.

"W-well, it looks like your arm's in now," Mey-Rin commented, followed by a humorless laugh.

A quick succession of knocks on the door made us both jump.

"Mey-Rin?" Sebastian's voice called from the other side of the door.

"Oh no," I heard her whisper, her expression suddenly grave.

"I trust that you have been able to properly prepare Lady Wakefield for the Commissioner's arrival. I am coming in."

What a scene it must have been. I was seated on the bed, a mess of disheveled fabric, the left sleeve of the dress torn from the shoulder, my hair askew. Poor Mey-Rin stood, trembling like a leaf, as if she was expecting an executioner to enter the room instead of a butler. Sebastian's expression changed from a polite smile, to shock, to brief amusement, to extreme frustration, to murderous in a matter of seconds. I realized why Mey-Rin had reacted the way she did. It felt like the temperature of the room had dropped by several degrees.

"S-Sebastian, sir, I'm so sorry! I-it's just so hard to-!" Mey-Rin blurted, falling to her knees, clasping her trembling hands together in penitence.

Sebastian held up a hand, effectively cutting off her bumbling apology.

"Never mind how it happened. The Commissioner and Inspector Abberline are arriving in a half an hour. Do you think you're capable of retrieving me some black thread and a needle?"

The maid nodded nervously in reply.

"Good. See to it quickly while I prepare Lady Wakefield."

As the maid timidly snuck out of the room, I looked at him in surprise, my face already flushed with a blush. There was no way I was going to let him dress me! A slight smile came across his face as he removed his waistcoat and rolled his sleeves up to the elbow.

"Please do forgive the intrusion on your modesty, but you do not want to appear before Commissioner Randall and Inspector Abberline looking as you do now, do you?" he asked, the last of his words coming out with a slight mocking tone.

He did not give me a chance to reply, but rather tugged me to my feet. I fell forward into him from the weakness of my legs and the sudden movement. I steadied myself by holding onto his shoulders as his hands made quick work of pulling my skirt up to my waist.

"Arms up."

I obeyed his instruction, raising my arms above my head with a wince as the movement irritated my left shoulder. In one swift, but gentle movement, he removed my dress and petticoat. My blush deepened as I stood, clinging to this gorgeous man, practically naked. My heart beat rapidly, making me feel flustered.

"Besides," he began, his hands firmly grasping my waist, "any lady that cannot dress herself does not have any room to argue, does she?"

He turned me so my back was to him. Then, lifting me up on to the bed, he added,

"On your knees, please."

I felt another rush of heat go to my cheeks and down my neck as I obeyed. Despite my embarrassment, I mentally sighed in relief as I felt the painful hold of the corset release as he began to undo the laces. How Mey-Rin had twisted it into such an uncomfortable position, I will never know.

I looked up at the ceiling, trying to find something of interest to distract me from the pleasant feeling of his hands moving along my waist, back, and shoulders as he repositioned the corset.

"If I had a corset that laced on the side, I would have been able to dress myself."

I dared to glance back at the butler, who quirked an eyebrow at my defense.

"Right now it would have been difficult, admittedly, but I still could've done it. There were many times when I was working with my father that I had to dress myself," I elaborated, finding the spot on the ceiling once more, satisfied when he gave no teasing rebuttal.

A firm tug caught me off guard as he began to tighten the corset, causing me to sway backwards towards him. I reached out to steady myself, grabbing hold of his forearms. I froze as I felt his breath against my neck and shoulders. I tried to ignore the enjoyable shiver that went down my spine from the sensation.

"Perhaps you should be on all fours for this part," he commented, lowering me down so I could rest my hands on the bed.

I let out a quiet squeak as he resumed tightening my corset. Gripping handfuls of the blanket to try to steady myself, a painful spasm went up my left arm. Yes, I was going to pay for this later as well. Unfortunately my attempts to hold myself in place did not work. With a sigh of frustration, Sebastian took hold of my waist and pulled me back against him, quickly resuming his work. I blanched and, despite what I thought humanly possible, I blushed even deeper, feeling the heat seep down to my chest.

"What do you think you're doing?" I spat, indignant.

He paused, a cheeky grin spreading across his face, "I was unable to properly tighten your corset without adequate resistance, my lady."

His grin turned into a full-fledged smirk, a gasp escaping my lips as he abruptly pulled the laces again, adding,

"What did you think I was doing?"

My eyes widened for a moment before I turned to face away from him again, unable to answer. I ground my teeth together, clenching the sheets in anger as I mentally cursed him in every language I knew. As soon as I was healthy, I promised myself, I was going to show him just who he was dealing with.

With each tug of the laces, I was forcibly pulled against his person. The most humiliating and shocking part of it all was that there was a part of me, deep down, that was actually enjoying this. I tried to deny it, but the pleasant warmth that I felt growing inside my abdomen called my bluff. This was a strange sensation. Not because I had never been involved with anyone romantically, not that what was happening right now was anywhere near romantic, but rather because I was actually feeling something. Though I had never allowed any courting relationships to go this far, no matter how physical they had become, I never felt any emotion like this. No pounding of the heart, no attraction, no stirrings of passion. It was as if my courtiers were made of stone.

I was jerked from my thoughts as Sebastian gave a particularly hard tug of the laces.

"Ow!" I exclaimed, with a huff.

"Stop struggling. It will be over soon," he replied, grunting as he pulled the laces again.

"Not so rough!" I breathed before I let out a high pitched gasp.

"Why does Sebastian have Lady Wakefield on the bed like that?" I heard someone ask, followed by a surprised squeak.

I glanced behind me to see Finnian, who I had met the day I finally came to, standing with an innocently puzzled look on his face. Beside him stood Mey-Rin, who was blushing a deep crimson to match her hair. I assumed the squeak had come from her. Goodness, how I wished I could have hid underneath the bed right now. I felt like I was going to die of embarrassment.

The butler smiled innocently back at the young gardener.

"This was the only way in her current state that I could properly tighten her corset," then, looking back at me, a dark smirk came across his features, "There simply was no other way."

I opened my mouth to give him a sharp reply, when he tugged on the laces once more with such force that when I was pulled against him, my head snapped back. A surprised cry escaped my lips against my will. Poor innocent Finnian looked as confused as ever, while Mey-Rin jumped slightly, visibly turning a deeper shade of red as she pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and held it to her nose.

"There," Sebastian said, seemingly unfazed as he secured the laces in place.

As soon as he released his hold on me, I scurried away from him as quickly as I could despite the pain it caused me and grabbed a blanket from the bed, cocooning myself in it so only my head and fingers showed. I seethed with anger as I glared at him, internally wishing that I could have killed him with that look.

"See, that wasn't so bad, now was it?" he asked, cocking his head to the side slightly, a mocking grin resting on his lips.

Seeming satisfied with my glare as my only response, he turned to the two servants who stood just outside the door.

"Now, Mey-Rin, the needle and thread," he prodded.

The maid just stared forward as if she hadn't heard him. I saw his shoulders visibly stiffen at the lack of response, getting some enjoyment from the fact that she was provoking him. Serves him right.

He cleared his throat and then firmly called her name again.

As if she had been shocked from a daydream, her gaze snapped to Sebastian. A moment later, she was floundering about, blubbering more apologies as she clumsily handed him the needle and spool of black thread.

"Thank you. Now, if you two would be so kind, please return to your other duties," he dismissed them both curtly before closing the door behind him.

I watched him warily as he returned to the bed, sitting down on it as he took the dress onto his lap and began working to repair the sleeve. Once I was sure he wasn't going to try another attempt to humiliate me, I let my shoulders relax, allowing my grip on the blanket to loosen somewhat. It was strange how changeable he was. Only a few minutes ago he was sentencing me to death by humiliation and now he was calm, quietly attending to his duties-just as a butler should. A comfortable silence fell between us and I took the opportunity to observe the strange man. The way he wore his hair was surprisingly unkempt for someone who, by the immaculate appearance of his clothes, took such great pride in perfection. However, the way his raven locks framed his face attractively accentuated the shape and features of his face: his strong jaw line, his pleasantly full lips, and, most of all, his peculiar yet entrancing eyes. Everything about him seemed so perfect. Almost too perfect I mentally noted, a warning shiver going down my spine. I would have to be careful around this one.

"So, if I may ask, Lady Wakefield, with what sort of work did you assist your father?" Sebastian asked, interrupting my introspection, as he ran his finger over the repaired sleeve.

I looked down at the floor, not sure what to say.

"My father and I served the Queen, much like your master, except in a different capacity," I paused, glancing over to the butler as he stood.

Wordlessly, he motioned for me to stand. I remained as I was, not willing to leave the safety of my blanket cocoon. He let out a soft sigh of frustration as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Lady Wakefield, you must finish getting dressed."

"Do you promise not to harass me?"

He suppressed a smirk.

"Yes, I promise."

"How do I know you're telling the truth?" I asked, eyeing the butler cautiously.

"If there is one thing you may know for certain about me, my lady, it is that I cannot lie," he answered cryptically with an eerie smile, extending his hand towards me.

I hesitated for another moment, unsure if I should trust him. When I noticed that the eerie smile had not gone away, I decided not to push my luck and stood on unsteady legs, allowing the blanket to fall to the floor. Heat immediately rushed to my cheeks and I looked down to the floor to avert my gaze as I noticed his gaze quickly glide over my body before slipping me into my petticoat and bustle.

"Now," he prodded as he brought the dress over, "as you were saying?"

I flinched as I raised my arms once more as the dress came over my head.

"The work Lord Ciel does for the Queen is more investigative by nature. Certainly there are times where lethal force is needed to remedy a situation. However, that is not always the case," I paused as Sebastian began buttoning up the high neck of the dress.

He paused as well, his gaze meeting mine.

"Our work is more retrieval and eliminating by nature," I finished as the butler resumed his work of buttoning and straightening the dress.

"So you are thieves and assassins for the Queen?"

"I prefer our given title of 'The Silencers'," I quipped, "It is not so garishly honest as your assessment, despite its accuracy."

"Please forgive my rudeness," the butler apologized as he finished with my attire. Then, crossing the room to bring a chair to sit in front of the full length mirror, added, "Would you like assistance, Lady Wakefield?"

I shook my head as I attempted to hobble to the seat he offered me. He had done enough to help me already. My movements were awkward and disjointed, my leg throbbing from the spasms of pain that shot up it with every step. Thankfully the chair was not too far away from the bed, however, with my final step I reached out to steady myself, almost knocking the chair over as my leg gave out from beneath me. I closed my eyes, preparing to hit the floor, but when I did not, I looked to see what had happened. Surprise was apparent in my expression that was reflected in the mirror as I saw I was seated on the chair I had fallen behind just a moment before. Continuing to look at the mirror, I glanced at Sebastian, whose face wore a polite smile that poorly masked the annoyance beneath.

"If I may be so forward, my lady, it would behoove you to forego obstinate pride for the sake of your health. Such a fall could have reopened your wounds and set you back months in recovery," he scolded.

My gaze dropped to the floor, fingering the silk of the skirt as frustration and acquiescence fought each other in my mind. With a sigh, I accepted the foolishness of my actions. He was right after all.

Another brief silence fell between us as Sebastian gently untangled my hair from whatever hairstyle Mey-Rin had attempted to assemble. I felt my heart skip a beat as I felt his hands on either side of my neck, tilting my head down slightly with his thumbs. A moment later, I felt his fingers smoothly glide through my chestnut locks as he worked out the last of the tangles. I closed my eyes, allowing myself to enjoy the calm that the sensation brought me. A memory flitted through my thoughts as the butler continue to work. I was eight. Laying beside my mother with my head on her lap, she gently ran her fingers through my hair, humming a soft melody while she did so. A slight mournful smile graced my lips. This was one of the last memories I had of my mother. She died but two weeks later in an accident. I never came to know what had happened. My father never spoke of it. My thoughts halted at the mention of my father.

My eyes snapped open. My father. I blinked hard several times as I tried to erase his blood stained image from my eyes. I felt grief and pain roil within me. Though the darkness of unconsciousness had released me from its hold when I awoke three days ago, I could still feel its numbing effects. It was as if a heavy void had been placed within my heart, effectively eradicating all emotion from my being…like I was living outside myself or at least outside of the time in which the others around me existed. I was surprised every morning when I was awoken by Sebastian's gentle voice rather than Cooper's, to remember I was not be able to move about on my own, or to not hear the bass treble of my father's voice down the hall as he talked to our "clients". It was as if I was in a dream…a horrible dream which I was just now starting to wake up from only to realize it was not a dream, but rather reality. I bunched the fabric of the skirt in my hands as I struggled to push those emotions back down. Now was not the time for this.

"I am sorry, did I hurt you?" Sebastian's voice called me back to the present.

"What?" I whispered, almost inaudibly.

I looked up to see the butler's brow furrowed in concern, suddenly becoming aware of the streaks of moisture that ran down my cheeks from the few tears that had escaped my eyes.

"I apologize if I hurt you, my lady. I am used to tending to my master's hair, so it is rather different-,"he began, but I cut him off as I attempted a reassuring smile, drying my eyes.

"No, you did not hurt me."

"I see," was all he replied as he loosely pinned my hair up in a bun.

I watched as he adjusted parts of the hairstyle to fill it out well, the grief subsiding somewhat. Despite never having done this before, I noted with approval, he was quite good at it. Better than Cooper in fact, and she had been my ladies' maid since I was a little girl. My heart tugged at the remembrance of her. I noted how he paused as he finished, seemingly lost in thought.

"Should I send the Commissioner and Abberline away until a better time, my lady?"

With one final push of resolve, I locked my emotions away, at least for the present. My gaze hardened and I sat up straighter, conveying determination and authority. The change in my demeanor seemed to take the butler by surprise, though he did not show it clearly.

"No," I firmly answered, meeting the reflection of his gaze with resolution, "I am Sarah Wakefield, Marchioness of Wakefield Hall, Silencer of the Queen. If I cannot handle a crisis such as this, I am not worthy of my title."

He bowed with a strangely knowing smile on his face.

"As you wish. I will convey you to my lord's study immediately."


	5. Unwelcome News

**Author's Note:**

Happy Friday, everyone! Time for another chapter. Before we get started, I just wanted to take a moment to thank each and every one of you who has been reading my story. I checked and we are up to 592 views! I couldn't believe it! It brings me joy to know that there are people out there reading and enjoying this story. Also, thank you to those who have favorited and followed. Your support does not go unnoticed. And a special shout out goes to **Nixon Nix** , **Akuma-sama2002** , and **RuffRabbit321** for reviewing. Your comments and critiques both encourage me to continue writing and improve my future writing. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Those were the only things I wanted to mention for now. So, without further ado, I give you chapter five. Enjoy!

 **Chapter Five: Unwelcome News**

"Thank you again for your willingness to speak with us, Lady Wakefield," Commissioner Randall concluded with forced politeness as he and Abberline closed the files they had been using to take notes.

I gave a slight smile in return.

"Not a problem at all, Commissioner. I want whoever is responsible to be held accountable for their actions. No one attempts to kill me without reaping the consequences."

At this statement, I noticed a small smirk break the otherwise stoic expression Sebastian had been wearing throughout the interrogation. It disappeared as quickly as it had come, his side gaze moving from me to the police he stood beside.

"I regret that my condition did not allow me to speak with you sooner," I added.

"We will contact you should we have any more questions," Abberline said as he and his superior stood.

"With the information you have provided, we will do everything in our power to resolve this matter quickly," Randall added before he and his partner walked over to the door that Sebastian had opened.

"I am sure," I purred, a slight smirk on my lips.

I relished in the sight of Randall's shoulders stiffening at my comment. He paused in his exit and turned back to me, his eyes narrowing to a glare. I smiled sweetly in return. He knew what my opinion of his and his men's investigative prowess was. Abberline stared, bewildered, at our silent exchange. With no other response than a quite huff, Randall turned and continued down the hall out of my sight.

As Sebastian closed the door, I closed my eyes with a sigh, rubbing my temples in an effort to ward off the headache Randall had caused.

"My, my, that was quite a display at the end," the butler teasingly commented as he returned to my side, taking up my tea cup and the still full ones left by Randall and Abberline.

With a side glance, he added, "Randall doesn't seem to trust you."

I chuckled darkly at his observation.

"The feeling is mutual. I wouldn't trust Randall to find a bullet even if it was put in between his eyes."

Sebastian chuckled as well, sharing in my amusement. I felt excitement flip in my stomach at the pleasantly deep sound.

"It seems you and my young master share the same opinion when it comes to the Yard."

"My father and I have had to clean up messes caused by the Yard's incompetency more than once. I don't intend to make my case another blunder by them," I continued, then pausing, I changed the subject as he made his way to the door, "Where is Lord Phantomhive?"

Since the night that I knew Ciel had visited my bedside, I had not seen nor heard from the little earl. Angelina and Sebastian were my only consistent visitors, with exception of the brief appearances of the other staff of the house. It was strange.

The butler's retreating steps halted. Only bothering to turn his head slightly towards me, his expression unreadable, he replied, "My lord is busy as of late."

"Meaning that he does not wish to see me," I interpreted, my heart sinking slightly at the realization. This had not been unexpected, I suppose, but it was still disappointing.

I let out a pained grunt as I tried to reposition myself more comfortably in the chair. This caught Sebastian's attention and I found him by my side once more.

"What is it, Lady Wakefield?"

"It's nothing," I lied, my shoulder and leg radiating in pain. When Sebastian's eyebrows rose in skepticism, I sighed, "I think all the activity from earlier has aggravated my wounds."

Satisfied that I now spoke the truth, his expression returned to normal and with a slight nod of his head replied, "I will make sure to address your wounds later."

"Thank you," I whispered.

Sebastian opened his mouth, starting to say something else when the sound of the door opening caught both of our attention. Mey-Rin appeared, timidly shuffling into the room.

"Pardon me, Lady Wakefield, but there is a Mister Albert here who wishes to speak with you."

Sebastian turned his attention to me, eyeing me curiously as he awaited my response.

"Were you expecting Mister Albert, my lady?" he asked.

"No," I said with a frown, "but he is my family's lawyer, so I am sure that if he is here unannounced that he has matters of importance to discuss with me. Please see him in, Mey-Rin."

Stumbling for a moment, the maid turned and stepped out of the room.

"Lady Wakefield will see you, sir." I heard her quietly inform the man who stood out of my sight.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that Sebastian took a step closer to my chair, his stance defensive. That was odd.

A moment later, Mister Albert, a stocky, bespectacled, middle aged man stepped into the study. As soon as his blue eyes met my hazel ones, they filled to the brim with tears. In an undignified show of emotion, he rushed over to me and took my hands in his, tears now streaming down his face.

"Lady Wakefield, you have no idea what a relief it is to finally be able to see you! We thought you dead, but then Earl Phantomhive sent word that you were recovering here. I was overcome with joy at the news that you had survived!" he gushed, embracing me in an unexpected hug.

I gently patted his back as it shook with sobs. My father had worked closely with Mister Albert since I was six. Throughout the years, the older bachelor became like an adopted uncle to me. And, despite the theatrical display he was showing now, he was actually very good at his profession. He just had a tendency to become dramatic over the ones he loved.

I looked over to Sebastian, my look apologetic as I saw the mix of annoyance and surprise on his face at Mister Albert's display.

"Would you please fetch some tea, Sebastian?" I prompted, still finding it strange to call him by his first name. He and I had stumbled through that awkward conversation a couple days ago.

He gave a slight bow of recognition and silently left the room. A few minutes later, Mister Albert was finally able to collect himself. Sitting down in an armchair across from me, he pulled out a kerchief from his pocket and began to clean his tear spotted glasses before tending to his now blotchy face.

"Please forgive me, my lady, I don't know what came over me," he apologized.

I offered a small smile as a sign of my acceptance of his apology.

"There is nothing to forgive, Mister Albert. Now, if I may ask, what has prompted your visit?"

All the joy his expression had contained at seeing me disappeared in an instant, his features becoming grave.

"There is news that I must give your lady that I do not wish I had to share," he began, pausing as Sebastian entered, carrying another tray with a fresh brew of tea.

"I took the liberty to brew an herbal tea of chamomile and lavender, sweetened slightly with honey," the butler announced as he expertly poured the liquid into two tea cups.

I smiled, taking my cup with a slight nod of thanks. As I turned my attention back to Mister Albert, I noticed that he eyed the butler suspiciously as he waited for him to leave.

"It is alright, Sebastian may stay. There is nothing you could say in front of him that I do not mind him hearing," I said before I took a small sip of the warm liquid, the lightly floral scent pleasing. Allowing him to remain in the room, I hoped, would be the sign of honesty and trust that could be used to open lines of communication between Ciel and I so I could begin working on rebuilding my life.

Mister Albert paused for a moment, still unsure despite my direction, but then reached down to the briefcase he had sat beside his chair and pulled out a large stack of papers. As he sat the papers on the small table between our chairs, I stared at the tiny, daunting legal text, hoping my face did not convey the hesitancy and intimidation I felt. The training my father had devoted me to for a little over a year and a half had been in the "art of our trade", as he called it. Thanks to the strict regimen of education I had undergone under his oversight, I had become fluent in German, Spanish, and Russian, adding to the Italian and French I had learned several years before; a master in the art of observation, deduction, and disguise; and an expert markswoman-I could use just about any weapon that was put into my hands, even if I was unfamiliar with it. In his diligence to ensure I was equipped to become his partner in his service to the Queen, however, he had forgotten to teach me the more mundane tasks of life, such as how to manage the estate should it be left to my care.

I took another calming sip of the tea as Mister Albert placed a couple of pens on the table as well.

Looking over his glasses to me, his eyes sympathetically inquisitive, he asked,

"Are we ready to begin?"

The next two hours were spent pouring over the legal documents associated with the estate. To my relief, Mister Albert was kind enough to occasionally pause and explain the jargon to me. Despite his help, I felt dizzy, my head spinning with the influx of information. I tried not to groan as I realized this was only addressing the settlement regarding the servants and their families and discussing what had been done regarding my father's final arrangements. My heart tugged at the mention of my father's burial. It had been a small, inexpensive service, despite his rank. The only luxury there had been was a coffin, which was, in my opinion, unneeded, considering there wasn't a corpse to inhabit it. But Mister Albert said it had offered a better sense of closure, so I did not press the matter.

Despite the quantity and overall dull nature of the discussion, there was nothing that had been reviewed that would warrant the sudden change in Mister Albert when I asked him what had brought him here. As if he was taking a cue from my thoughts, Mister Albert cleared his throat as the clock behind us chimed four.

"Now we come to the even more unfortunate portion of these events. While your father left a detailed will directing how his estate should be managed in the event of his passing, I am afraid it is virtually void given what is left."

A foreboding chill came over me as I tried to understand what he had said.

"What do you mean by that, Mister Albert?" I quietly prodded.

With a heavy sigh, he shuffled some of papers and handed them to me. As I flipped through the contents, my heart sank.

"While I knew your father to be an exceptionally prudent man, it appears that in the last several months he has accumulated a substantial amount of debt," he began.

Substantial was putting it nicely. What father had become involved in that would have caused him to spend his money so recklessly was unknown to me, but the figures that swam before my eyes were of an astronomical amount, given the current state of things. There might have been a hope to repay most of the debt if the manor had not been totally destroyed, but this was insurmountable.

"Did he have any other accounts?" I asked, thankful that I was able to mask the despair that raged inside.

My chest tightened as Mister Albert looked away, avoiding my gaze.

"As soon as your financial situation came to my attention, I contacted the owners of your father's foreign accounts, but all of the funds had been withdrawn."

I stared at him in disbelief.

"What?" I whispered, my voice barely audible.

"I reached out to the few members of your family that were still in contact with your father to see if they would be willing to help, but most of them refused. Your great uncle, Robert, sent two hundred pounds and told me never to contact him again."

The edges of my mouth curved upward in a bitter smile. Of course they hadn't been willing to help. My father had made many enemies throughout the years because of the nature of his work, his family included. They had always gone to great lengths to distance themselves from us, but after my engagement to Ciel was broken off, they had cut us off completely. I was surprised they had dignified Mister Albert's inquiries with a response.

"It would appear that whoever attacked Wakefield Manor two weeks ago was intent on destroying your family completely," Mister Albert began, reaching into his bag once more. He pulled out an ornately carved box and handed it to me, "Other than the value of the land, these are the only items of value that you possess."

Tears pricked my eyes as I opened the box, the glittering sapphires and diamonds a cold mockery of what my life had been.

"Mother's jewels," I whispered as I lightly fingered the ornate necklace and earrings.

"Yes," Mister Albert softly replied, the mournful tone to his voice calling my attention back to him. Tears welled in his eyes once more as he continued, "Your father brought them to me for safe keeping after your mother's death. They were to be a present for you once you were married."

I took a deep breath, my heart swelling with grief and hopelessness as I closed the box and handed it back to him.

"Sell them."

"What?"

"Sell them," I firmly reiterated, motioning the box towards him to take, "In my position I cannot afford sentimentality. Sell them and use the money towards paying back my father's debts."

Mister Albert looked at me in surprise, pausing a moment before he hesitantly received the box, tucking it away in his briefcase once more. I looked towards the windows for a moment, resting my chin on my hand. The sky was a vibrant tapestry of color as the sun began to set. The last grand show of radiance before the world was plunged into consuming darkness.

"My apologies," Sebastian began, calling my attention back to the matter at hand. I jumped in surprise at the sound of his voice. He had been so silent in his post by my side that I had forgotten he was there. "But it is a little past four thirty. Dinner will be served at five o'clock. If I may suggest, perhaps the remaining items could be discussed afterwards?"

Before I could respond, Mister Albert shook his head saying, "That is alright, I only have one more thing to discuss with Lady Wakefield for the time being."

Sebastian gave a wide smile in an effort to hide the chagrin that I noticed in his expression. What was with him and punctuality?

When he offered no reply, Mister Albert picked up one last item from the pile of paperwork. It was a lavishly decorated envelope. I noted how my name was written in an elegant script on the front. There was no guess as to the sender of this letter.

"It is a letter from the Queen," Mister Albert stated, opening the envelope and extracting the parchment "She expresses her excitement at your survival of the attack on your home and sends her sympathies for your loss. But also regretfully informs you that, due to the nature of your circumstances, for the time being, your title as Marchioness of Wakefield Manor is being returned to Her Majesty and that you are no longer needed in her service. She states that she will continue to consider your situation and may have further instruction in the future. She wishes you well and looks forward to hear report of your successful recovery."

Nothing but the tick tock of the grand clock interrupted the pregnant silence that followed the conclusion of Her Majesty's letter. I stared at Mister Albert in utter disbelief. My heartbeat thundered in my ears, my hands gripping the arms of my chair with such force that my knuckles were white as I tried to absorb the gravity of what I had learned in the past forty-five minutes. That was how long it had taken for my life to be utterly destroyed. Mister Albert's observation had been correct. Whoever had come after us that night wanted nothing more of the Wakefield name to be left…and they had succeeded. The Queen's letter had been the final word that sealed my desolation. I was nothing. I had no family, no home, no wealth, no title, no position. All that was left to me was a suffocating debt and my name…just my name…Sarah Anne Wakefield. In a world full of monsters and cruelty, I knew that was next to nothing.

I vaguely acknowledged Mister Albert giving me his deepest, heartfelt sympathies as he packed up his things and made his leave. In his kindness he offered to help me in whatever way he could, though I knew nothing really could be done. I believe I thanked him as he stood, but, when I thought back on it, I could never be quite sure. Sebastian escorted Mister Albert from the room, the clock chiming the coming of the five o'clock hour. My gaze listlessly wandered over to the windows again. Night had fallen. The dark veil that covered manor reflected the hopelessness within my heart.

"Miss Wakefield," I heard someone call.

"Miss Wakefield," they repeated, gently, but sternly.

I turned, my movements feeling mechanical, to find Sebastian standing before me. In the tumult of my thoughts, I had not heard him return. A gentle smile graced his lips as he extended his hands to me.

"Come, Miss Wakefield, we must get you ready for dinner. You are already late."

There was a sudden pang in my chest as I realized how he had addressed me had already changed. I stared at his gloved hands, unmoving. I did not want to go to dinner. I could not eat at a time like this. I just wanted to be alone…to quietly slip away to where no one could find me or harm me anymore. I shook my head.

"What can I do for you, then?" he asked, his eyes searching mine.

He could kill me, I thought bitterly. That would solve things.

When I did not answer, he sighed softly as he bent down, scooping me into his arms with ease.

"Well, I shall take you to your room at least," he commented as he carried me from the study.

I looked down at my hands, tears welling up in my eyes until my vision blurred. I refused to let them fall in front of the butler, though. It may have been foolish pride, but, seeing as it was one of the only things I had left, I was going to cling to it with all I had.

It did not take long to return to my room and, before I knew it, I was being carefully laid on the bed. Immediately, I rolled on to my side to face away from Sebastian. The hot tears stung my cheeks as I could hold them back no longer.

"Are you sure there is nothing you need, miss?" he asked, his voice laced with sympathy.

"No," I choked out, my voice thick with tears, "I want to be left alone, please."

After a momentary pause, he answered, "As you wish."

With a quiet thud I heard him close the door behind him. As the sound of his footsteps slowly faded down the hallway, the sound of my cries increased. I wrapped my arms around my chest as sobs wracked my body. Waves of grief and anguish washed over me as the tears continued to flow. In this moment, I was alone…abandoned…and hopeless. I felt it with every fiber of my being. I don't know how long I cried…I only know that I continued until my throat was raw from sobs, my cheeks warm and sticky from tears, and my heart numb from all the sorrow that had been poured from it. The pillow that lay underneath my head was cool and damp from the tears that had soaked the soft fabric. Though my tears had stopped, my body still shook with slight tremors as my breathing continued to hitch. I stared out the window into the empty darkness of the night. Forlornly, I wondered to myself why whatever powers may be allowed me to survive. I darkly mused over that question for some time until, finally, when my breathing had returned to normal, I gave into the exhaustion that weighed down my body and fell into a fitful, dreamless sleep.


	6. A Well Placed Queen

**Author's Note:**

Hello, all!

To all my fellow American readers, I hope you all had a happy Thanksgiving yesterday and (hopefully) don't have to get yourself out into the Black Friday madness unless you wanted to. To everyone who works retail, you have my deepest sympathies. And to all my readers from around the world, I hope you have a great day.

So, just a note before we begin. I apologize in advance for the shortness of this chapter. Like previous shorter chapters, I felt it was necessary to include to provide some needed insight into the storyline, so I hope that helps to make up for the shortness. I promise the upcoming chapters will be longer. And hopefully the fact that this chapter is from Sebastian's POV will help as well (surprise!). Which, taking that into account, Sebastian is a slippery character to keep in cannon without softening him, which I have been making a conscious effort to not do. But, that being said, please let me know if you feel this chapter is true to his character or if there is anything I can do to improve.

And, I would be amiss if I did not give a big thank you to everyone who is reading and favoriting and following this story! Last I checked, we are up to 902 views! My mind is blown and I am so humbled by your interest in Sarah's story. A special thank you to **RuffRabbit321, Akuma-Sama2002, and casey820** for your reviews. Your feedback and encouragement help to keep me motivated in my writing. Also, I wanted to give an huge thank you to **Aservis Roturier** for spreading the word about my story. It means so much to me.

Well, I do not want to keep you from the story any longer. So, I am proud to present chapter six. Enjoy!

 **Chapter Six: A Well Placed Queen**

"My apologies for my tardiness, my lord," I said as I entered my master's chambers with a bow. The child looked in my direction, a displeased scowl on his face. Crossing the room to begin his preparations for the night, I continued, "There were some unexpected visitors that needed tending to before I could draw your bath."

I smiled at the memory of the assassins that had attempted to enter the manor but an hour ago. A vision of one of the men's shocked expressions flashed in my mind, before my hand crushed his skull with a particularly pleasing crunch. I had to stifle a satisfied chuckle as we both made our way to the washing room. He said nothing until we had entered the elaborately tiled room.

"It seems that you have had to do such much more frequently as of late," my master commented, lifting his chin as I began to work on undoing his tie.

"Indeed. Since the arrival of Miss Wakefield the attacks on the manor have almost doubled," I paused as I unbuttoned his shirt, giving a cheeky smile I knew would infuriate him, "It would seem there is someone else out there people want dead as much as you, my lord."

I was pleased as I felt his aura jump with a pang of frustration before he kicked my shin. The grin on my face turned into a dark smirk as I continued to prepare him for his bath.

"Though, I do admit, I do not mind the distraction."

My master rolled his eyes as he sank down into the warm water of the tub. With an inward sigh I poured water over his head and began to wash his ashen black hair, noting how his ribs still showed against his skin. In the past I had masters and mistresses that had required much of me, but this was the most challenging contract I had entered into. Simply trying to keep this frail child alive was difficult enough, more or less tending to my duties as his butler and fulfilling my end of our contract. How I had allowed myself to enter such a contract was beyond my comprehension sometimes. If it didn't mean that he would've become a demon instead and I would be saddled with the brat for the rest of eternity, there were times I would have considered killing him instead. I felt my eyes flash for a brief second as I reminded myself that there were other times, though, when the twisted agony and despair of his soul was so tangible that it had validated that his soul indeed would make a mouthwatering delicious feast when the time came. The darkness that molded his soul reminded me much of what I had seen of Sarah's soul since she had appeared.

"My lord," I began as I took a pitcher and poured clean water over him, gently coaxing the soap from his hair, "have you made a decision as to what you will do with Miss Wakefield?"

A brooding look came over his features as he combed the damp locks out of his eyes. He did so more aggressively than needed, I noted with frustration as my sleeves became wet from the water that fell on them.

"No," he curtly replied.

Handing him a cloth, I went and stood by the door as my master began washing his body. This was one task he did not permit me to perform, which was rather childish of him, really. To assist him with bathing already required that I see his body, it wouldn't be much different if I touched it. However, those were my master's orders and I would obey, whether they made sense or not.

"It has been a week since she received the news from Mister Albert and you still haven't decided? That is most unlike you."

He shot me another glare, not pausing in his bathing. A mocking smile danced upon my lips as I relished in his frustration.

"It is because I don't know if I can trust her," he finally replied, not daring to look at me as he admitted his motives.

The water sloshed as he raised his left leg to drape it over the side of the tub and begin to wash the limb.

"Monsters wear the most disarming disguises," he whispered, more to himself than to me, before he continued, "That is what my predecessor told me when I asked why the Wakefield's never came to visit anymore. He never clarified whether he was speaking of Sarah or her father, but I know that for him to cut the whole family off entirely, whatever had happened to make him feel that way must have been irreparably wicked. Ties in the underworld are not lightly severed."

With a sigh, he stood, signaling to me to return and finish the bath.

"I understand your hesitancy, my lord, however, I do not think it would be wise to cast her off so quickly," I advised, reaching down to let the water out of the tub.

I looked up to find him looking down at me skeptically.

"Why? Did you find something?"

"I found nothing on the reason your engagement with Miss Wakefield was broken nor on why he father had accumulated so much debt in the past year, but I was able to find out more about what has happened since your ties with her were broken."

"Go on," he prodded, closing his eyes before I began pouring the water over his head and his body.

"It seems that Lord Wakefield intended on keeping his daughter from playing an active role in the Underworld until recently. Until then, most of her activity was of a social nature. However, she was pulled from society and entered into the Underworld after an incident in Italy in March of last year."

At this, I paused as I helped my master step out of the tub, quickly wrapping a heated towel around his body so he would not catch cold. I couldn't have him getting sick.

"Yes," he replied, his tiny frame shaking slightly as he shivered, holding his towel closer, "I don't know the specific details, but whatever happened has marred her reputation to the point the no one would consider her for marriage afterwards."

"I will look into it more, my lord," I reassured him as I covered his head with another towel to dry his hair.

"I will try to ask Lizzie about it the next time I see her as well. The Midfords are well versed in the social-political events of society that I don't usually care to bother myself with."

We continued his preparations in silence for a few minutes. I could see the thoughts whirring in his mind as I dressed him in his nightshirt and combed his hair.

"What happened after Italy?" he asked as we began to walk back to his chambers.

"Lord Wakefield dedicated her to the rigorous training required to be a Silencer for the Queen. From what I can tell, he did an exceptional job. She has quite an impressive resume."

My master's brows quirked in interest as I listed all her skills and accomplishments of the past nineteen months, clearly impressed. I had to admit, though I had witnessed her marksmanship when she arrived at the manor, I had been surprised by the extent of her ledger. Despite her innocent appearance, it seemed that the Underworld suited her nicely. I smirked as we entered the bedchamber. This little lily was more intriguing with each petal that was pulled back. With the other discoveries I had in my interactions with her, it seemed she would be a much needed distraction in the hum drum workings of this contract.

As we entered his chambers, I closed the door and began working to extinguish the lamps that lined the walls as my master climbed into bed.

"I would not presume to tell my lord what he should decide," I began, coming over to his side, pulling the covers over his legs as he remained sitting, "but with her extensive training and connections in the Underworld that even you haven't made, I don't think it would be wise to ignore the asset she could be in achieving your goals."

He raised a musing hand to his chin as he considered my words.

"You may have a point. You may be the Knight I have needed on my chessboard, but I have been missing a Queen. And, if there is a reason I shouldn't trust her, I would rather see it up close instead of that reason hunting me down."

He paused another moment, before adding with a smirk, "You would enjoy having competent help other than Tanaka, correct?"

"I cannot say I would be disappointed," I admitted.

"I would like to speak with her tomorrow and offer her a position as a maid. Given her circumstances, I don't think she's really in a position to refuse," he observed, laying down and pulling the covers over his chest, satisfied with his decision.

"Indeed."

"Sebastian," he said as I went to blow out the candles in the candelabra.

I paused, seeing his expression change from satisfaction to skepticism.

"You seem to be uncharacteristically interested in her. Is it because you think she will help you in expediting my revenge so you can have my soul?"

I smirked. So this is what he was curious about. Admittedly, I had already realized those benefits of working to keep her around, but my true motivation for wanting to keep her near was a much stronger, more instinctual need.

"Yes, I have considered that," I replied, then, choosing my next words carefully, I added, "However, I have my own reasons for finding her interesting."

He scoffed at my answer, rolling his eyes as he looked away from me.

"I don't even want to know what you mean by that."

Without another word, he rolled onto his side, his back facing me. I took that as my cue to leave. Blowing out the candles, I made to leave the room when I felt my eyes begin to glow, my left hand tingling.

"Just don't let your interest distract you from your promise," he warned.

I turned my head, seeing the contract symbol on my master's eye glowing in contrast to the darkness of the room. Turning towards him, I bowed, placing my hand on my chest.

"Yes, my lord." Was all I answered before I exited the room.

My eyes continued to glow as I made my way down the hallway as I walked to Sarah's room. A dark chuckle rumbled in my chest as I replayed the words my master had last spoken to me. He had given me a rather long leash. **Yes.** I thought to myself as I opened the door. My fangs extending as my gaze fell upon the sleeping maiden. **This was going to be fun.**


	7. A Chance to Begin Again

**Author's Note:**

Hello, all! I hope this update finds you well. Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone who has taken the time to read this story and also those who have favorited and followed. I know I say this every week, but I feel compelled to because your interest in this story helps to keep me motivated and I just want to let you know how much it means to me. And a special thank you to **Aservis Roturier** for reviewing.

Just a quick note, as you read this chapter, please keep in mind what sort of a position Sarah would be in given the time period in which she lives. A woman in the Victorian Era who had no money, no title, and no family willing to take her in could not do all that much about her situation and would have been at the mercy of the generosity of others. I am sure that you all know this, but I wanted to make sure to mention it just in case so it didn't seem like Sarah was playing the helpless victim card…because that's definitely not who she is.

Well, now that everything has been covered, I give you chapter seven. Please feel free to favorite, follow, or leave a review. Thank you for reading! Enjoy!

 **Chapter Seven: A Chance to Begin Again**

I sighed with satisfaction as I brought my head above the water in the tub, relishing the feeling of the water trickling down my face and neck. A soft giggle caused me to look over toward Angelina. I smiled slightly at her amusement.

"I don't think I've ever seen anyone enjoy a bath so much," she teased.

"You have no idea how good it feels to take an actual bath again," I replied, as I lathered up a cloth with soap and began gliding it over my ivory skin.

After Angelina's earlier inspection of my wounds, much to her surprise, she found that my shoulder was almost completely healed and that my leg had healed enough that it could be soaked in water. I wanted to cry tears of joy when she told me I could bathe again. Up until now, she had helped me with a sponge bath whenever she came to visit. Which, while it kept me sanitary, didn't have the rejuvenating and cathartic properties of getting to soak in a tub. I mentally noted that it also meant that I could be naked in secure privacy. On more than one occasion, while in the middle of my sponge baths, Sebastian had entered under the premise of tending to things in my room. I could feel warmth rush to my cheeks at the memory. Luckily, I had my back towards the door both times, so he didn't see too much, but being so exposed before the Grecian built butler made me feel acutely vulnerable. He had apologized, saying it was a careless mistake on his part. I was convinced he had done it on purpose. Angelina thought it was hilarious and had commented that, if he was doing it on purpose, that I should be flattered. She would kill to have a man desire to look at her like that. I, for one, didn't find it amusing in the least.

I hummed quietly as I continued washing my body. My skin tingled from the mint and jasmine in the soap.

"Sarah," Angelina started, laying her book aside to turn her attention to me, "how are you doing?"

I paused as I was finally able to lift my right leg enough to drape it over the side of the tub. Bubbles swirled before me in the water as I averted my gaze, not wanting to answer her.

"Sarah," she prodded.

With a sigh, I closed my eyes and resumed my bathing, trying to ignore the dread and grief that had begun to leak through the mental dam I had built inside myself.

"I am managing," was all I replied. However, the frustrated sigh that answered me told me that I wasn't going to get away with that. She was my closest friend. Of course she knew better than to believe my words at their face value.

Giving a quiet grunt as I lowered my leg into the water, I continued.

"That is the only way I know how to explain it, Angelina. Before Mister Albert's visit last week, I had hope that I would be able to rebuild my life. However, after what he shared with me, I do not know where to begin. I feel lost…insignificant…directionless."

I trailed off, looking down at my fingers as I swirled them in the soapy water, unwilling to admit any more than I already had.

"I know. Ciel told me," Angelina gently acknowledged.

At this admittance, my shoulders bristled with anger. I shot her a glare so harsh she moved defensively back in her seat.

" _Ciel_ told you?" I seethed.

Angelina held her hands up in a show of innocence.

"Yes, when I visited last week."

My blood was boiling by this point.

"Did you not tell him?" she added.

With an angry huff, I pulled up the stopper of the tub, letting the water drain so I could rinse off my body.

"No," I started, grinding my teeth together, "It would be difficult for me to tell someone that I haven't seen in at least two weeks."

"What?!" Angelina shouted indignantly, now angry as well.

"Yes, I have not seen nor heard anything from your nephew since the day I arrived. I have been trying to speak with him, but whenever I mention wanting to do so Sebastian always tells me that his young master is busy." I theatrically mimicked Sebastian's mannerisms while I said that, much to Angelina's amusement.

"So, _especially_ since Mister Albert's visit last week, I've just been waiting to see what Ciel is going to do with me. For all I know he's biding his time before he can cast me onto the streets to fend for myself." I added before I huffed again, dumping a pitcher of clean water over my head and body rather unceremoniously.

"Well, you know I would never allow that to happen," Angelina softly reassured me with a gentle smile.

I returned her smile, my anger dissipating in the wake of her compassion.

"I know," I whispered before I poured a second pitcher of water over me, massaging my limbs to make sure I had washed away all the soap.

I remained in the tub, my skin prickling with gooseflesh as I rubbed my wrinkled fingertips together. The events of the recent past replayed in my mind. As much as I wanted to move on, to find a clear direction, it seemed these memories refused to subside, but rather took a foremost place in my mind, refusing to let me go. My shoulders slumped as the all too familiar weight of sorrow settled in my heart once more. I looked up at Angelina, who observed me with understanding discernment. She, too, was familiar with great loss.

As I took a shuddering breath, tears pricking my eyes, I asked, "Grief is exhausting, is it not?"

A knowingly mournful smile tugged at her lips, tears of her own welling in her eyes as she replied, almost inaudibly, "It is."

We both jumped in surprise as someone rapped on the washing room door.

"Madame Red, I have the towels you requested," Sebastian's smooth voice said through the door.

I froze at the sound, my heart pounding in anticipation. I opened my mouth to ask for a moment to prepare, making myself as small as I could to hide behind the side of the tub, however Angelina had already gotten up and was reaching to open the door. Panicking, I crossed my legs and hurriedly parted my hair so it cascaded over my shoulders and breasts, my arms crossing over my chest to conceal it as well as I could. Thankfully, I managed to do this before the door opened, behind which Sebastian stood, a cordial smile on his face as he handed Angelina the towels.

"I have also taken the liberty of bringing a fresh change of clothes for Miss Wakefield from the ones you brought today, Madame. My lord wishes to dine with her this evening."

I turned toward the door a little more, my interest piqued at this new information. Angelina lightheartedly laughed as she placed the towels down on the chair she had been seated on a few moments ago.

"I am glad Ciel has had a change of heart. I was afraid I was going to have to have a serious talk with him about how he should treat a lady."

Sebastian smiled with amusement at her statement.

"My lord still has much to learn when it comes to the fairer sex, so I do not think the conversation would be unwarranted," he quipped before turning and grabbing something out of my field of sight.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I gingerly gripped the tub, pulling myself up a little to get a better view. A moment later, he reappeared holding a gorgeous blue gown.

"My apologies, Miss Wakefield," he began, his gaze meeting mine, "I know that this is most uncommon during a time such as this, but since I knew your mourning attire needed washed, and since you will only be dining with my lord and Madame Red, I thought that a small exception could be made for this evening."

I nodded in agreement, smiling to show my acceptance.

"That is reasonable, Sebastian. Thank you for the consideration."

At those words, he placed his hand over his heart and bowed slightly. He flashed a playful grin, his eyes reflecting a dark amusement as his gaze never left mine.

"But of course. If I could not take care of my young master's guest, what kind of butler would I be?"

I quirked an eyebrow at his question, wondering why he was prone to making such dramatically cryptic statements.

"Very well, then!" Angelina cheered, clapping her hands together, "It seems like things are in order. Sebastian, I believe you can take it from here?"

I started with surprise at her suggestion as a falsely innocent smile spread across the butler's face.

"I would be happy to be of assistance," he purred.

"Angelina! You cannot be-!" I sputtered, my face burning with embarrassment.

The smile on her face only broadened at my protest as she waved a dismissing hand toward me.

"Oh, Sarah, dear, you'll be fine. I needed to speak with Ciel anyway, and you know I don't know the first thing about getting someone dressed in more than a hospital gown. Sebastian should be able to take good care of you," she said with a wink, then added as she exited, "I'll see you at dinner."

Before I could collect myself, Sebastian stepped in the room.

"Now, if I may-," he started as he made to shut the door.

"No," I firmly interrupted, putting up a staying hand, "You will wait outside until I tell you that you may enter."

For a moment, he looked as if he was going to object to my order, but then, perhaps thinking the better of it, he conceded with another bow before he left the room.

Now that I had some privacy, I rotated myself in the tub so that I would be able to put my weight on my left leg when I exited. Even though my right leg had gotten to the point where I could put weight on it without too much discomfort, I found it was still cumbersome to move and wouldn't offer me the stability I needed to stand on my own for normal periods of time. I carefully swung my left leg over the side of the tub, lifting myself so I straddled it. Nervously, I glanced toward the door, unconsciously pulling my right arm tighter across my chest. Even though the door was closed, I still had the uncanny feeling that I was being watched.

I frowned as I gingerly lowered my left leg to stand on the marble tiled floor. I was going to kill Angelina for doing this. A few days ago, she had casually asked my opinion of Sebastian. To which I had replied that he seemed like a loyal, attentive servant who was highly capable of performing his duties. She had scoffed at such an emotionless answer.

"I've seen the way you react when he comes near you," she teased, leaning towards me from across the chess board, a knowing smirk on her face, "Tell me, what do you _really_ think of him?"

I looked down, biting my lip as I tried to ignore the rush of heat that blossomed on my face and the pleasant sensation that pooled below at the memory of my recent encounters with him. Since the day I had met with the Yard and Mr. Albert, he had not attempted such a forward physical advance on me, but had rather made more subtle gestures…a touch here, a lingering glance there…all things that would have been frowned upon in polite society, especially between two people who were not courting. Though, I had noted, much to my chagrin, I had not done anything to avoid such attention. In fact, I rather enjoyed it. It was out of character for me, to be sure, but the things he made me feel were a welcome temporary relief to the emotional pendulum I had found myself on recently, swinging between suffocating grief and a consuming, emotionless void.

I heard Angelina gasp with excitement as I moved my knight, taking her bishop with ease.

"You _love_ him, don't you?"

I smirked, adjusting my left arm in its sling as I watched her carelessly move her rook next to my queen.

"I doubt what I feel towards him is within the realm of love."

My response elicited a dark chuckle from her as she reclined in her seat, crossing her arms as she did so.

"Well, you have to start somewhere, I suppose."

Since that conversation, she had been working relentlessly to place us in situations where we would be alone together. Her antics became all the more unbearable since she had caught Sebastian toying with me a couple of days ago while I was reviewing some additional documents Mister Albert had sent for my approval. She had nudged me playfully after he had left to address an alarming crashing noise that came from elsewhere in the manor.

"You should've seen the look on his face! He looked like he wanted to eat you alive!" she gushed.

I flushed, yet again, at this suggestion, my stomach swirling with an incompatible mixture of excitement and embarrassment.

"I am not sure why you seem to be enjoying this so much," I mumbled as I pretended to continue my reading, afraid that if I looked at her, what I truly felt might be all too apparent.

She let out a hearty laugh in response as she reclined on the chaise lounge.

"Oh, Sarah, I haven't had this much fun in years."

Her expression became serious as she rolled on her side to face me.

"Though," she continued, "if you're not interested, I wouldn't mind enjoying him for you. I've wanted to sink my teeth into that god of a man since I laid eyes on him."

I started at such a brazen confession. However, my gaze snapped from my paperwork to her as shock quickly subsided to jealous fury.

"I never said I wasn't interested," I calmly replied. Too calmly, if the somewhat frightened look on her face was any indication.

Without another word, I turned my attention back to the paperwork before me. Though, as I stared, not really reading, I wondered which was more troubling to me…the confession I had just made or the fact that I was still holding back the urge to rip Angelina's head from her shoulders for merely suggesting that she pursue Sebastian. I had only known him for three weeks, for goodness sake!

I shook my head with a sigh, trying to push those memories from my mind as I carefully hobbled to the chair to retrieve the towels. I made quick work of drying my body and wrapped my hair in the other towel he had brought. Hopefully, I thought to myself, this intense attraction would wear off soon. Enjoying a passing fancy was one thing, but I couldn't let it become more. I had more important things with which to concern myself. I couldn't-no-didn't want to fall in love with anyone, especially not him.

"You're over thinking things," I whispered to myself as I straightened the hem of the half petticoat.

 **Yes.** I mentally reassured myself, picking up the corset that had been left with the dress, draping it as best I could across the front of my torso. Such an intense reaction could only be a response to my grief. Once things were settled, I would return to normal and I wouldn't have to concern myself with such quandaries. With one last glance to ensure the corset was held securely over my front, I called for Sebastian to enter once more.

I grimaced as I attempted to find a comfortable angle at which I could position myself in the wheelchair as Sebastian pushed me down the hall to the dining room.

"Is everything all right, Miss Wakefield?" he asked, slowing his pace a little as he leaned towards me.

"Yes," I huffed, trying to adjust the corset through the dress to no avail, adding, "No…it's this corset. It's too tight."

I glanced up at the butler, his expression blank as he returned my gaze.

"My apologies. However, due to some of the sizing differences between your figures, pulling your corset that tightly was the only way to ensure the dress would fit," he stated matter-of-factly. His gaze flitted momentarily towards my breasts as if to clarify his point.

"I suppose you're right," I mumbled, my face growing warm as I dropped my gaze, glancing down to where my full breasts rested, half exposed due to the deep neckline of the dress.

Though we were similarly built, Angelina made a point to remind me of her jealousy of my slightly larger breasts and hips. I had a gnawing suspicion that she would reaffirm said feelings at some point this evening.

We came to a stop at a pair of large doors which I assumed led to the dining room. Adjusting slightly in the wheelchair, I prepared to stand up, finding Sebastian immediately in front of me.

"Are you certain you want to do this?" he questioned, placing a steadying hand on my arm as I shakily rose to my feet.

"Yes," I nodded resolutely as I reached to untie the sling that supported my left arm.

When he realized I was struggling to reach the ties of the sling, he reached his arms around me and gently brushed my hand away, making quick work of undoing the knot.

"I do not think it would lessen his opinion of you if you used the wheelchair. He knows your ledger. Your work speaks for itself. Besides," he paused, causing me to look up at him, my questioning gaze answered by his stern one as he continued, "you run the risk of slowing your recovery if you walk too much."

"Thank you for your concern, Sebastian, but I will be fine," I reiterated as I felt the tension of the sling become slack.

I could tell from the look on his face that he was not pleased with my answer. My brow dipped in a slight frown to mirror the butler's expression. We stood in silence for a moment, neither of us willing to yield in this battle of wills. Finally conceding, I closed my eyes, sighing heavily as I bowed my head.

"Fine. What about a compromise?"

Sebastian's eyebrow quirked inquisitively, but said nothing.

"I won't use the wheelchair or the sling, but I will allow you to escort me to my seat."

A look of introspection came over his face as he considered my offer.

"That sounds reasonable," he replied, gracefully stepping to my right, looping my arm around his.

Squaring my shoulders, I tried to ignore the anticipation that tightened my chest as we stepped toward the doors. Whether it was from the unsure nature of my fate or the acute awareness of the proximity of Sebastian's body to mine, I was not certain. I took a deep breath as I raised my chin slightly, feeling my nerves settle as I pushed my emotions from the forefront of my mind. It was an exercise I had learned during my training that I used to prepare for a mission. How embarrassing it was that I was employing it to calm myself before having an audience with an eleven year old boy and standing beside a distractingly handsome butler. In my defense, I reminded myself, said eleven year old boy held my fate in his hands and the butler was, in fact, sinfully attractive.

"Are you ready, Miss Wakefield?" Sebastian prompted, pulling me from my inner thoughts.

I nodded affirmatively, not daring to look to him, afraid that doing so would crumble my composure.

"Very well, then," he started, gripping the door handle with his free hand before he continued, "A word of advice. When in an audience with my master, you should handle yourself with the upmost confidence. Do not let him get the better of you. My lord is like a wolf…,"

He paused and it took all of my self control not to jump, my heart leaping in my chest as I felt his breath against my ear and neck. My back stiffened, a shiver of pleasant anticipation slithering down my spine. When he spoke again, he had lowered the tone of his voice so that his tone was a teasing mixture of a purr and a growl.

"He can smell fear."

In the brief moment it took for him to open the door, I took another deep breath in a scrambling attempt to regain the composure that I had so gracelessly lost a moment before. Though I wasn't as steady as I had wanted, I was pleased that I recovered more quickly than I expected.

The room that was revealed was richly decorated and filled with the finest furnishings. Anything one could desire to provide comfort and delight was readily accessible. Though, I noted as I finished glancing about the room, it was like the butler who walked beside me…there was something disturbingly perfect about the arrangement of the room. Things were too well placed, too polished. It gave the air not of a home, but rather of a house where a child was playing the role of master.

Turning my attention to the grandly laid table before me, I proffered a polite smile as we reached the table, curtseying slightly to the young earl.

"Miss Sarah Wakefield, my lord," Sebastian introduced as he pulled out my chair.

"Good evening, Miss Wakefield," Ciel greeted with a slight bow of his head.

"Good evening, Earl Phantomhive," I replied, bowing my head in return before taking my seat, thankful to be able to rest my leg.

"Oh, Sarah, you look gorgeous!" Angelina cheered as she enthusiastically clasped her hands together, effectively dissolving any polite conversation, "With your figure, you do that dress more justice than I ever could!"

I sighed internally, deadpanning in response. Well, that didn't take long.

"What do you think, Sebastian?" she inquired, turning her attention to the butler.

I gripped the arms of my chair tightly, casting her a scathing look which she promptly ignored.

"I believe the dress suits her well," he replied as he pushed my chair up to the table.

I could hear the subtle amusement that laced his voice. That cursed butler was enjoying this!

"Are you quite done?" Ciel interjected, clearly annoyed with his aunt's antics.

Angelina chuckled, unfazed by her nephew's scolding glare. However, to my relief, she did not press the matter any further.

An uncomfortable, pregnant silence descended upon the room. Unsure of what to do, I turned my attention to the young nobleman, who was disinterestedly inspecting his fingernails. Despite only being eleven, soon to be twelve, he carried himself as if he were several years older. A necessity of his position in his service to the Queen. If he acted his age, he would be eaten alive. My heart swelled with sympathy at the thought. What a lonely life he must lead, to be tasked with such a large responsibility at such a tender age.

At that moment, his attention snapped to me, his deep cerulean gaze piercing mine. Calling to mind Sebastian's advice, I returned his gaze with determination, unwilling to let him intimidate me. Certainly, my well being rested with him, but I would not be bullied into submission. A satisfied smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth as he laced his fingers together and rested his chin on them.

"So, Sarah-I may call you Sarah, correct?" he began, to which I nodded before he continued, "Good. So, Sarah, may I ask how long you intend to be a freeloader?"

"Ciel!" Angelina exclaimed.

I sat in disbelief for a moment. Of all the ways he could begin this conversation, he chose this? Luckily at that moment, Sebastian returned to the room with a trolley filled with the delicacies of tonight's dinner, which allowed me a moment to collect myself.

"Tonight we have a hearty wild mushroom soup paired with a richly flavored Chateau Lafite Bordeaux Blend red wine," he announced before circling about the table to serve us our wine and soup.

I leaned towards Ciel, who had never diverted his attention from me, a smirk gracing my lips to match his own. If this was how he wanted to handle things, I would play his little game.

"As long as you intend to let me, my lord," I purred, causing Angelina to choke on her wine.

"After all," I continued, relishing in the momentary surprise I saw on Ciel's face, "I have been trying to discuss these matters with you for some time, but I am the one who has been turned away."

"Fair enough," Ciel conceded before he took a bite of his soup.

I lifted my wine glass, twirling the stem with my fingers before taking a sip of the crimson liquid. My gaze quickly flitted over to Sebastian as he took his post in the corner of the room. The butler's stoic expression did not reveal much, but the humor that glinted in his eyes told me he was entertained by our little dance. I watched the wheels of Ciel's mind working as I began eating my soup.

"I have done some investigation into your background since our engagement was severed. Quite an impressive resume," Ciel said, leaning back in his chair and crossing his legs, as he finished his dinner. Continuing, he added, "Eighteen confirmed kills in the past year and a half and those are just the high profile names you eliminated. Six stolen documents, some of which have been used in valuable negotiations with Germany and Spain. You've been quite busy."

"I prefer not to be idle," I quipped.

"Good to know," he replied, gulping down the last of his wine before signaling Sebastian to return to the table.

"Sebastian has also informed me of the details of your situation. Given your skill set and the destitute state of your affairs, I have an offer of employment. I would like you to work in my household…," he paused as he took a small stack of papers that his butler handed him, before extending them to me.

I tried to conceal my excitement as much as I could as I took the pages from him, waiting for him to finish his statement. Did he want me to come and work as an assassin…a body guard…or perhaps a co-Guard Dog?

"As a maid."

I blinked, dumbfounded by what I had just heard. I glanced over at Angelina, who looked just as surprised as I was.

"Come again?"

"A maid," Ciel repeated, allowing the enjoyment he was having at my expense to be evident on his face.

"Ciel, you cannot be serious!" Angelina objected, "Just a month ago she outranked you and now you are asking her to be your servant?!"

His attention moved from me to his aunt, clearly unmoved as she clenched her jaw, her eyes narrowing in disapproval.

"But she is no longer a Marquise, now is she?" he questioned cooly.

At this, her brow furrowed as she opened her mouth to rebut him when I interrupted, "No, Angelina, he is correct. I am not in a position to be making demands."

She shot me a harshly reproving look, but made no further attempts to object. Once Ciel was confident he would not be interrupted, he continued, his attention returning to me once more.

"Seeing as you are currently in a rather vulnerable position, with those who killed your family and destroyed your home still on the loose and all the sharks of the Underworld who will be coming to you once news of your circumstances spreads, I thought a low profile position in the employment of someone familiar would be a suitable arrangement for you."

I turned my attention from Ciel and Sebastian to the pages before me, my head swimming with the onslaught of new information as I tried to decide if I would accept. The sound of a chair sliding on carpet caught my attention and I turned to see Ciel rise from the table.

"You do not have to give an answer tonight. Look over the contract and we can discuss it more in the morning. I am going to retire for the evening," Ciel said as he walked to the door, Sebastian trailing behind him like a shadow.

After he opened the door for his young master, Sebastian turned to Angelina and I as Ciel exited.

"Ladies, you may remain in here as long as you please before you retire. Oh, and Miss Wakefield," he called, a teasing smile gracing his lips, "Please let me know when you have returned to your chambers, I would be happy to help you with that pesky corset."

I swiftly turned my back to him, my whole body warm from embarrassment and desire. I cast a heated glare across the table towards Angelina as she looked at me, her eyebrows raised in pleased surprise. Her expression quickly changed to joy and excitement as the door quietly closed. Rushing over to me, she crushed me in a tight embrace.

"Oh, Sarah, this is so exciting! This is just the opportunity you were looking for!" she gushed effervescently.

"Your opinion on the matter changed rather quickly," I wheezed as I struggled to free myself.

"Well, once Ciel presented it in that light, it made much more sense. Though," she pouted, disappointment evident on her face, "He could have been a little more genteel in his presentation."

Her eyes lit up once more as she brought her face close to mine.

"So you'll say yes, right?"

Finally prying her arms off me so I could catch a breath, I shook my head to the contrary.

"It seems like it might be a good opportunity, but I am unsure if I will take it."

Angelina leaned up against the table looking somewhat deflated as she crossed her arms.

"If I were you, I wouldn't even bother looking at the contract. If I had an opportunity to work with that slice of heaven," she continued, gesturing toward where Sebastian had just been, "every day, I would jump on it, no questions asked."

"Him or the contract?" I teased, quirking my eyebrow.

After a brief moment of consideration, she replied, "Probably both."

I shook my head, surprised at myself for joining her in this conversation. To distract myself, I returned to trying to read the contract. Angelina let out a disappointed sigh when I did not continue the conversation.

"You know he just offered to help you undress, right?"

"He just says things like that because he knows he can get a reaction out of me," I replied, acting disinterested as I continued my attempt to read.

This only made Angelina more animated in her discussion of Sebastian and I. As I continued to read, her chattering voice melted into the background. Apparently working as a Phantomhive servant required more than basic housekeeping skills. It seemed those skills were secondary in importance to defensive skills, of which I already possessed many. I wondered, vaguely hearing Angelina say something about adorable babies, what my life would be like should I accept Ciel's offer. I also wondered, my thoughts turning to darker musings, what Ciel had entangled himself in that would make it necessary that he hire a maid like me.


	8. His Butler: Training

**Author's Note:**

Hello, all!

So, we hit a big milestone this week with 1.6k views! I cannot tell you how exciting that is to me and how much it means to me that you all are enjoying Sarah's story. As I like to do, I want to thank everyone who has favorited and followed this story. Even though your support is less public in nature, I want to let you know that I still see it and it is encouraging to me. And a special shout out to **RedFantasies, Akuma-Sama2002, and alexandriasutherland98** for reviewing! Your questions and comments are always welcome and appreciated.

Just a couple of FYI's before we begin:

Just as a heads up, this is the last of the "shorter" chapters. This one has a 7 typed page count, whereas Chapter Nine is 17 and Chapter Ten is 22. So there are much longer chapters ahead. As many of you encouraged me in the beginning, as I get more into the rhythm, the chapters are steadily increasing in length. Which is good, but it also makes me feel the crunch of keeping up the posting every week deadline I've given myself, lol. But pressure seems to help my creativity, so it's a good thing in the end.

We are entering a phase of the story that is a little less intense as far as pacing goes. Call it the world building phase, if you will. But it will be filled with good little nuggets of interactions between Sarah, Sebastian, and the other servants so I hope you all enjoy it even though the next few chapters won't be action packed. And I promise that things won't maintain the slightly slower pace for long.

Ok, now that those housekeeping items have been addressed, I am pleased to present chapter eight. Enjoy!

 **Chapter Eight: His Butler, Training**

My fingers traced unclear patterns on the stiff white apron of my maid's uniform. With a sigh, I tugged yet again at the sleeves that were too short for me. Due to an unexpected heavy snowfall two days ago, Nina had not been able to make it to acquire my measurements in order to tailor my uniform. For the time being I would use an old uniform of Mey-Rin's, which was laughable, really. I had managed to squeeze myself into the petite maid's clothes, but I had no idea how I was going to get out of them. What should have been full length sleeves were three-quarter length on me. The skirt was too short. And, I noted as my chest met resistance as I took another breath, it was far too tight in the torso.

I glanced over to the small clock on the dresser that sat just across from my bed. It was five fifty. Sebastian had said he would arrive at six o'clock to escort me down to breakfast and to formally introduce me to the other servants. I had woken up an hour ago to ensure I had plenty of time to get dressed and be presentable. This being my first day, I did not want to start off on the wrong foot by being late. Other than having difficulty wiggling my way into the restrictively small clothing, I had taken an inordinate amount of time to arrange my hair. Grunting with frustration, I pushed one of the pins back into the bun I had managed to pull off. I knew that if my hair was already starting to come loose now, it would probably be unpresentable later, but this was the best I could do. Other than a simple braid I would wear my hair in when I had been working missions before, I could not style my hair at all.

 **How pathetic.** I thought, before I reminded myself that it wasn't my fault. I had been raised to live a much different life than the one in which I now found myself. In an attempt to ignore the disappointment at my inability to do some of the most basic things required to care for myself, I assessed my bedchamber…for the fourth time. My quarters were small, with just enough room for a basic iron wrought bed, a short dresser, and a washing basin. By the door on the wall adjacent to the wall with the fireplace, hung a simple, medium size mirror that allowed me to see from my waist up and a set of three pegs on which my three uniforms would hang. What a far cry from the life I had known. My mouth twisted with a mournful smile as I remembered my old room. I missed my paintings. I missed my writing desk. I missed my books and sketches. I chuckled humorlessly. I even missed the atrociously patterned wallpaper that I had begged my father to change for years.

I frowned as a thick lump formed in my throat. **No.** I scolded myself, shaking my head as if it would erase the memories from my mind. It would not do well to dwell on the past. Today was going to be challenging enough without constantly reminding myself of how things had once been. Besides, this had been my choice. I should be thankful that this choice had been presented to me. My back tingled with a foreboding shiver as I considered what could have happened if Ciel hadn't extended me this opportunity. At best, I could have become a governess, which, at first glance didn't appear to be too terrible of an option, especially since I enjoyed teaching. However, I had heard of and witnessed some of the injustices that could befall a governess if she came into the employ of an ill suited family. At worst, I would spend my nights wandering the streets of London, trying to lure men to my bed in exchange for money or a warm meal. Even though I wasn't sure what sort of master Ciel would be, it had to be better than the alternatives…right?

At least, with accepting this position, I knew what was expected of me. It had taken a grueling day of negotiations to iron out a contract to which we would both agree, but I believed it to be worth it. Doing so prevented confusion on my part and also ensured that Ciel knew I would not be the sort of servant who would accept things blindly.

A sharp series of knocks startled me from my thoughts. I glanced over to the clock to see the hand strike six o'clock exactly. I pushed the pins in my hair back into place before gripping the foot of my bed to steady myself as I rose to my feet. Taking a quick assessment of my appearance in the mirror, I straightened my cap before I hobbled over the door.

"Yes? Who is it?"

"It is Sebastian, Miss Wakefield."

With a grind and a click, I unlocked the door and opened it. A soft dusting of pink came to my cheeks as I saw his expression briefly reveal the surprise he felt. Perhaps he wasn't used to the other servants being on time? A pleasant smile graced his face as he slightly bowed.

"Good morning, Miss Wakefield. I trust that you slept well?"

I smiled in return, using the doorway for support as I gingerly shuffled out of my room.

"Well enough, yes," I answered, trying to be as truthful as I could. Nightmares and a howling wind that shook the window of my room had been my nighttime companions which had kept sleep farther away from me than I would have liked. It would come with time, though.

"Oh, thank you," I said as he shut the door for me.

A gasp of surprise escaped my lips when, before I knew what was happening, he brought me up into his arms. My arms instinctually wrapped around his neck, my heart beating rapidly as I turned to look at him. Our faces close enough our breath intermingled.

"Se-Sebastian!" I exclaimed, trying to find my words. "What-what are you-?"

He hushed me by placing a silencing finger to my lips.

"If you would allow, I will carry you down to your wheelchair. Madame Red left instructions that you should not work on your feet for a couple more weeks to allow your leg to finish healing, so I did not think it advisable for you to walk to the lower levels just yet. Besides," he paused a moment, his lips quirking in one of those delightfully frustrating smirks, "this is not the first time I have carried you like this."

My eyes widened, my cheeks growing warm again at the memory. I was about to object, but decided that what he suggested made some sense.

"Fine," I mumbled against his finger.

"Excellent!" he quipped, looking very pleased with himself, before returning his hand to my waist as he began descending the narrow staircase.

After a moment or two of silence, he suggested, "Though, if you would like, we can work on stairs as part of your rehabilitation."

"Most definitely!" I heartily agreed, eliciting a chuckle from Sebastian.

"Very well, then. We shall work on that after you have completed your duties for the day."

Since I had awoken, both Sebastian and Angelina had been assisting me with exercises to help me regain my strength. It had started with simple stretches and resistance activities, but, within the past week and a half they had progressed to short bouts of walking. I inwardly squirmed in embarrassment as I recalled all the time spent tottering gracelessly between the two, Angelina cheering me on enthusiastically as she had for Ciel when he was learning to walk. Though, for all the embarrassment, even Sebastian had congratulated me on the improvement of my gait last night. My heart had swelled with pride, a joyful smile lighting my face at his words. For all the disappointment and darkness that had enveloped my life as of late, it seemed, at least, that some small bit of it was going well.

As we continued our descent to the lower level of the manor, our conversation consisted of beginning of the day small talk. Usually I would have preferred remaining in contented silence rather than discussing dull things like the weather, however, I found that I did not mind talking with Sebastian about such things. In fact, other than when he was teasing me or being inappropriately suggestive in his conversation, which I enjoyed more than I cared to admit, I found it rather easy to talk with him. From the few female visitors who had come to the manor to tutor Ciel, I had noticed that it seemed unusually difficult to converse with him. Either he would not seem interested in carrying on a conversation, or the lady would be too nervous or embarrassed to be able to continue-other than to answer simple questions. Often times it would be a mixture of the two. Maybe I had benefitted from the exposure being a Silencer had offered and was not intimidated as easily as more genteel ladies. Whatever the case was, I was glad for it. Even though Ciel had broken the silence between us, he had not endeavored to reestablish the familiarity we had shared years ago. And, with her work at the hospital and the weather, Angelina's visits had been confined to short day trips a couple of times a week to assist with my recovery. Having Sebastian around had provided me with a friendly face that I looked forward to seeing every day. A ghost of a smile graced my lips as I looked down. It was nice to have made a, no-he was not a friend, not yet at least, but a supportive acquaintance through all of this.

"Oh dear, falling out already?" Sebastian sighed as he lowered me so I could stand.

My brow furrowed, but when he gestured towards my shoulders, I reached up to feel my hair. A sigh escaped my lips to answer his own as I felt some of the wavy locks that had fallen from the bun.

"Well, there's nothing to be done for it," he chided, steering me towards the wheelchair, "Please sit and I will fix your hair."

I stared down at my hands, rubbing the worn black fabric of my skirt between my fingers as I felt the rest of my hair fall around my shoulders.

A moment later I caught a glimpse of something white from the corner of my eye, followed by Sebastian softly commanding, "Here, hold this."

Obeying, I took my cap from him as he began to run his fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation of his fingers occasionally ghosting over my neck, ears, and jaw. A moment later I felt the gentle pull as he worked to arrange my hair.

"There," he said with satisfaction, more to himself than to me, before I handed him my cap and he put it in place, "That should hold much better," then, pausing for a moment, added, "I think we shall add hairdressing to your training."

I waited for a condescending remark about how he was surprised that a woman like myself did not know how to properly manage her hair, but, to my surprise, none came. Perhaps he could tell how long I had been laboring over it and decided to spare me since it was my first day.

"I apologize if this morning's introductions seem redundant, but, with you joining the household staff, I thought it would be best that a formal introduction be made," Sebastian explained as he wheeled me down the hall to the servant's hall.

"Redundant?" I questioned, looking up at him as we entered the room.

I raised an eyebrow as I noticed a grimace come to his face, his eyebrow twitching with annoyance. Turning to see what would elicit such a reaction, I looked to see the servants sitting about the table. Well, sort of sitting around the table. Bard sat, slumped to the side, clearly asleep, a long since extinguished cigarette dangling precariously from his slightly parted lips. Mey-Rin was leaning forward towards the table, her head resting on her crossed arms. Though I could not see her face, the slightly amplified snores that interrupted the increasingly tense silence told me that she was asleep as well. Tanaka turned to us, an amused smile spreading on his aged face before he took a sip from his cup, listening to Finny excitedly chatter about what he hoped Christmas preparations would be as he finished setting the table for our breakfast. I made no attempt to make any noise or move at this point. Sebastian's aura of frustration and impatience was so intense, I could imagine its dark tendrils reaching around me and strangling the other servants.

"Bard was telling me that over in America, they cut down a pine tree and bring it inside and put all sorts of lovely decorations on it. Wouldn't that be something to see?" Finny continued, then paused as he suddenly realized Sebastian and I had entered. "Oh! Good morning, Sebastian!"

I dared to steal a glance at the butler and felt my blood run cold at the sight of the murderously pleasant smile that was plastered on his face.

"Good morning, Finny," he replied with forced politeness, before quickly adding, "Tanaka." The elderly man grinned and chuckled in response.

I jumped slightly when Sebastian sharply cleared his throat before commandingly calling, "Good morning, Bard…Mey-Rin."

Both jolted upright, Mey-Rin squealing as she fumbled to straighten her spectacles, Bard giving a cry of surprise as he almost fell backwards in his chair.

"There," Sebastian started, as he came to stand by my side before he continued, "Now, I know that all of you have met before, but I wanted to make a formal introduction. Please meet our newest house maid, Miss Sarah Wakefield. She will chiefly be responsible for the duties of a scullery and parlor maid, but will also assist you all with your tasks as needed. She will also assist myself and the young master with his duties in his service to the Queen. The first couple of weeks will be an interesting transition, since she will still be confined to her wheelchair, but I believe that she will become an asset to the Phantomhive residence."

I attempted a friendly smile as the rest of the servants gawked at me, apparently finding this information difficult to process.

"But Sebastian, I thought she was a proper lady, not a maid," Finny questioned innocently, the last part of his inquiry earning him a burning glare from Mey-Rin.

I opened my mouth to speak, but was cut off by Sebastian.

"She was, but since she arrived, Ms. Wakefield's circumstances have changed dramatically. The young master was kind enough to extend her a position of employment."

"Oh, are you referring to what happened to Wakefield Hall?" Mey-Rin chimed in.

Sebastian forced another smile, his eyebrow twitching once more as he answered through clenched teeth, "That is part of it, yes."

"Wait! So there's more?" Bard excitedly interjected, the new development causing him to pause in the lighting of his cigarette.

On more than one occasion at a party I had seen where champagne bottles were shaken until they could no longer handle the pressure within, causing the corks to comically fly off as the contents spilt over the floor. I had never imagined I would see a human representation of this, but Sebastian appeared to be just that…except that when his cork flew off, I surmised the results would be anything but comical. As patient as he had been with me, I mentally noted, such patience did not seem to extend to these four.

"As much as I am sure Ms. Wakefield is enjoying you asking questions about her as if she were not present, I believe you should hold your questions until you all have some free time. Need I remind you that it is already twenty past six and our day begins at six forty-five? Now," he paused, leaning forward as if he was a scolding parent, "what should we say to our newest staff member?"

At this, all the servants perked up, enthusiastic smiles spreading across all their faces.

"Welcome, Miss Wakefield!" they cheered in unison.

I sheepishly grinned, a light blush coming to my cheeks at their greeting.

"Thank you, but, please, call me Sarah."

"Oh," I heard Sebastian whisper in surprise. Turning toward him, he added, "Only if that is what you want to be called."

I gave a reaffirming smile as I nodded my head.

"It is not conventional, but it will do."

A gentle smile illuminated his face, causing my heart to stutter, before he pushed me up to the table and took his place at the head seat.

"Very well, shall we eat?"

While myself and the other servants ate, Sebastian went over our duties for the day and the upcoming activities regarding Christmas, the orphan's benefit visit, and the New Year's. I was surprised at the responsibility that was tasked to the five, now six, servants. I did not know they managed. At our estate we had thirty servants and it was just my father and I. Even though Ciel was the only resident, at least fifteen to twenty servants would be needed to handle all of the duties for the manor's upkeep.

"It is six forty," Sebastian announced, closing his pocket watch with a click before sliding it into the pocket of his vest, "I will begin the tour of the manor with Sarah and will tend to the young lord. The rest of you," he paused, sending a warning look around the table, "Get to work."

"Right, sir!" they all chimed, leaping from their chairs as they ran off to accomplish their assigned tasks. Other than Tanaka, who rose from the table like one normally would and exited with an amused "Ho, ho, ho."

I blinked at the now empty servant's hall and turned to Sebastian.

"They're rather…enthusiastic, aren't they?"

He sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You have no idea."

Heaving another sigh, he came over and wheeled me out of the servant's hall.

"Now, to begin our tour," Sebastian began, when I cut him off.

"So there really aren't any other servants that work here?" I asked, turning my head to look up at him.

At first, I was afraid he was going to be annoyed at my interruption, but, to the contrary, he seemed to be pleased as a worryingly excited smile spread across his face, his chest puffing out a little in pride.

"I'm glad you asked. You see, at the Phantomhive manor we value efficiency and accuracy…," he began.

Other than when he had to tend to Ciel, this is how the rest of my morning went. Though he typically did not seem to have much to say about too many things, when it came to being a good servant and the running of the manor, there seemed to be no end to his words. Oh, good heavens, could he talk. There were stretches where I don't think he took the needed breaths required to convey such information. I tried to pay as close attention as I could, but there were times where I found my thoughts wandering. Really? Was it necessary I learn all of this on my first day?

Those moments where I was caught in my negligence, he would stop suddenly in his monologue and crouch in front of me, bringing his face mere inches from mine and ask to recount what he had just been saying. If I was able to scramble an answer together, all I would earn was a skeptical look. However, if I was not, I was to hold out my hands to receive a swift smack with a cane like I used to from my governess when I was a child. He had warned me that he was a strict teacher.

The last time he did it, I shot him a glowering look, by which he did not seemed fazed at all. Rather, he tucked the rod back into his tailcoat and gave me a mocking grin.

"If you do not care for being disciplined, then I suggest you pay closer attention. Or, is it that you would prefer a different form of discipline?" he paused, gripping both arms of the wheelchair as he brought his face closer to mine, and lowering his voice before he added, "Would you prefer that I spanked you?"

Heat immediately rushed to my face and I looked down, unable to meet his gaze as a pleasingly inappropriate image flashed in my mind. Though I did not miss the satisfied look on his face…he knew what he was doing. He chuckled, pleased that his antics had worked.

"No answer, then? Well, let us continue with the tour."

Needless to say, I made sure my attention did not wander for the rest of the day.


	9. Innocence and Lace

**Author's note:**

Hello, all!

I hope you all have had a great week. Time for another update! Thank you to everyone who has read, favorited, and followed this story. And a special thank you to **Akuma-Sama2002** for reviewing.

My apologies for pulling this chapter off and reposting, but I noticed that where I had put the symbols to indicate a time jump in the original Word doc did not transfer over. So thank you for being patient with me.

Without further ado, I give you chapter nine. Enjoy!

 **Chapter Nine: Innocence and Lace**

"Tanaka! Finny, please wait!" I called as I jogged up to the winter clad duo.

Both gentlemen paused in their exit and turned toward me. Finny's face lit up instantly as I came up to them.

"Why, Ms. Sarah, it is good to see you still up and about of your own power," Tanaka said, smiling his familiar sage-like smile.

"Yes," I breathed, the warmth of their greeting causing a small smile to tug at my lips, "Angelina and Sebastian were pleased with the progress I made last week, so I'm doing half days to build my strength. In the mornings I work on my feet and in the evenings I work from the wheelchair."

I paused, rubbing my right thigh to soothe the soreness I felt from jogging. Though, it was exciting that it was a pleasant soreness, like the kind you feel after working hard, instead of the pain I had grown used to a few weeks prior.

"Yes, you have made quite the recovery. I've seen strong men sustain similar injuries and it took them several months to fully heal, but you've done that in half the time," Tanaka commented, looking over his glasses at me.

I squirmed inwardly under the intensity of his gaze. Though the rest of his expression had not changed from his normal friendly demeanor, his dark eyes conveyed warning and suspicion as his gaze rested on my thigh. I wasn't sure what he meant or why he was trying to insinuate something sinister about my good fortune, but I didn't care for it. Wanting the relief that a change of subject would bring, I reached into my pocket to retrieve a small stack of letters, the material tickling the back of my hand as I did so.

"Bard had mentioned Sebastian was sending you and Finny to town, and..." I began, but was cut off when Finny's stepped forward, stars in his eyes.

"Oh, yes! We are going to get some last minute items for the orphan's benefit tonight! Can you believe it? Sebastian said I could help out this time! I'm so excited!"

A breathless chuckl6e escaped my lips as I offered an appeasing smile. I still had not grown accustomed to his enthusiasm.

Clearing my throat, I offered the letters to Tanaka.

"Would you mind making sure these get to the post today? It is important."

Without a word, he took them from me, all seriousness from his previous expression gone, before safely tucking them away in the inside pocket of his coat.

"Certainly, Ms. Sarah."

"Thank you."

"Now Finny, we should be going," Tanaka started, turning to the younger servant as he pulled his wool hat down to cover his ears before opening the door and heading outside.

"We'll be back in a couple of hours!" Finny excitedly cheered, running off to catch up with Tanaka.

I offered a small smile and waved before closing the door Finny had forgotten to close in his haste. Rubbing my hands together, I shivered from the cold wind that had swept down the hall from their exit. My heels clicked against the wood floor as I headed towards the servants' stairs, fully intending to get back to straightening the parlor. I had taken my first step when a familiar and disarming voice called for me.

"Sarah, may I have a word?"

I turned to where the voice had come from behind me, a shiver going down my spine that was not from the cold. My heart leapt as I found that Sebastian was standing only a few inches behind me.

"Yes, Sebastian?" I asked, soundlessly moving my feet back on the stair to allow for more breathing room between our bodies.

"There was something I wanted to show you in the study. Would you come with me, please?"

Without waiting for an answer, he began ascending the narrow staircase, his body brushing against mine as he passed by. I shook my head, releasing the breath I had not realized I had been holding before I rushed to catch up with him. By the time I did, he had just made it to the landing of the second floor. Curse those long legs. He held the door open that would lead to the hallway, quirking an eyebrow in silent mockery as if to ask why it had taken me so long to join him and why in the world I was so winded. I did not grace his unspoken question with an answer, but merely shot him a scathing look as I walked through the entrance in as dignified of a manner as possible. As we continued down the hall, I tried to be inconspicuous as I rubbed my thigh again and attempted to regulate my breathing. If he noticed or not, he did not say, for which I was relieved.

"I saw that you gave some letters to Tanaka before he and Finny left. May I ask the reason?" he asked, looking down at me. I hesitated, unsure if I should divulge the information. However, I quickly decided that he would most likely find out the answer whether or not I willingly cooperated so it was best to venture the path of least resistance.

"As expected, the Yard has been most inept with their investigation and I have found I have done all that I can from here to investigate, given the limited resources that are available to me," I held my hands up in defense when Sebastian frowned at my last words, quickly adding, "Not that you and Lord Ciel have not been helpful! I only meant to say that I still haven't exhausted all of the channels available to me."

We paused as we came to the study. Opening the door, his silence prodded me to further confession as we entered the room.

"Though my father and I did not have many allies, per say, there are several in the Underworld who owe us favors for help we offered in the past. I am calling in some of those favors."

My brow furrowed as I turned to Sebastian as he crossed his arms across his chest, his hip cocking to the side as he looked down at me disapprovingly.

"You know that my lord and I could have helped further without involving others. Investigating the events of the Underworld is what we frequently do. You need only ask."

"I know," I admitted, turning to look about the room, momentarily wondering what he could have to show me, "But our master has been generous enough with me already. I did not feel right asking him to help more. Besides, he has enough asked of him by the Queen…," I paused, my heart sinking as I caught a glimpse of the small, ornate clock that sat on the desk, a reminder of a time since past.

I blinked, adding in a solemn whisper, "I do not want his fate to be entangled with mine. He has seen enough darkness."

I turned back to Sebastian, whose gaze had focused on the clock as well, his expression unreadable. After a moment of thought, he only let out a musing "Hmmm", but did not venture to say any more than that. In the silence that followed, I assessed the state of the room, but could not find anything amiss. Everything was as I had left it an hour ago.

"Sebastian," I started, pulling him from his inward thoughts.

"Hmmm?" he hummed as his attention snapped from the desk to me.

Motioning to the surrounding room, I prompted, "A few minutes ago you said that there was something you needed to show me in the study."

"Oh yes!" he said, clasping his hands together enthusiastically before continuing.

"I have been pleased with your progress in your training. You are quite the quick learner. In all honesty, you have already proven yourself more useful than the rest of the servants combined," he paused, his smile of approval dropping to a firm line of correction, "However, I have noticed that the study and the game room are consistently left without being completely cleaned."

I raised a questioning brow at his assessment of my work, taking another quick scan of the room, but was even more confused when I did not register anything amiss in its appearance.

Sebastian sighed at my confusion, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"For instance, the book that the young master has been reading has been left on the table beside the couch. Two of the pens have been left on the desk, along with a few documents that have not been put away. Also, the blanket on the back of the couch is not straight and has a wrinkle in it," he elaborated, pointing to the items as he listed them.

Oh.

I bit my lower lip, unsure as to how I would explain what I had done. I had seen last week what could happen when Sebastian was not pleased with your work. Finny had been placed in charge of caring for the poinsettias that were to be part of the decorations for the orphans' visit, but he had somehow mixed salt in the water instead of fertilizer and had killed them in a matter of days. When Sebastian had been told what had happened, he had taken Finny into his office and scolded him so thoroughly that he was a blubbering mess the rest of the day. It had taken a couple of days before he returned to his bubbly, chattering self.

My cheeks grew warm as I could feel Sebastian's gaze on me as he awaited an answer. I knew he would not let me return to my duties until I gave him a reasonable explanation. Squaring my shoulders confidently, I turned to him. If I would not let Ciel intimidate me, I would not let him do so, either.

"It was done intentionally."

There it was again, the champagne bottle look. If I had not been so concerned over having my hands smacked again, I would have found his frustration almost amusing. The poor man looked like he was about to snap.

After taking a deep breath, he said through clenched teeth, "Could you please explain yourself more thoroughly?"

He then forced on a concerningly pleasant smile, as if daring me to even try.

"Well, you see," I began, looking away as I was unable to continue to meet his scrutinizing gaze, "it was one of the things I first noticed when I came here. That everything was too…perfect."

I turned back to him to find that he looked completely baffled at what I had just said.

"Let me explain. Of course rooms like the parlor and dining room need to be immaculate because that is where the master will receive his guests and those are rooms that he will not spend much time in for his day to day business. However, a room like his study or the game room, where he actually spends a good amount of his time should have little imperfections because it shows who he is. An immaculate study gives an air of a façade, like Lord Ciel is only playing the part of earl. But things like the less than tidy desk or the rumpled blanket with the book on the side table show that he is actually living as an earl."

The sound of the clock ticking echoed painfully in my ears as I waited for Sebastian to respond in some way. Behind the almost expressionless mask, I could tell he was giving careful consideration to my thoughts. His attention rested on the wrinkled blanket as he brought a musing hand to his chin. As the silence remained unbroken, I rocked back and forth slightly on the balls of my feet.

"Though," I softly added, clasping my hands, "if this does not please you or the master, I will make corrections immediately."

A slight smile tugged at his lips as his attention returned to me.

"That will not be necessary. You have brought something to my attention that I had not considered before. I fear that in my efforts to ensure things appear as they ought that I forgot the importance of looking natural as well. The concept is rather foreign to me."

That was an odd way to put it, but I would not disagree with his assessment. I nodded in acceptance, but offered no other commentary. My shoulders lowered at the relief that I would not be reprimanded for my actions.

"Then may I return to my duties?" I prodded, anxious to get my morning tasks done before my legs became too tired.

"Yes," he answered absentmindedly, his gaze coming to rest on the couch once more.

I nodded, bowing my head slightly before I made my leave.

"Sarah," Sebastian's velvety voice called.

I halted, turning back towards him to find he stood as he had a moment ago, staring intently at the couch.

"Yes?"

"Just now, you offered that if your actions had displeased the young lord or myself that you would have changed. Pleasing me is that much of a concern for you?" he asked, his gaze meeting mine.

I paused, cautious as to how to word my response. I did not want him getting the wrong idea…as appealing as the wrong idea would be.

"Of course," I answered, a dusting of color coming to my cheeks as a smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth, before attempting to clarify, "As the butler, you are as much of a master to me as Lord Ciel. Pleasing you is of the upmost importance."

Unable to hide his smirk anymore, he glanced down as he pulled out his pocket watch to check the time, looking rather pleased.

"Very well," he said as he slipped the watch back into his pocket and straightened his vest, "I should check to see how the young master is getting along with his lesson. He will be taking his lunch a little early as Ms. Harris will be arriving around one o'clock to take both of your measurements. You may arrive to the drawing room around two for your fitting."

"Yes, sir," I acknowledged with a nod.

I turned and made my leave again, with Sebastian trailing behind me when I paused, realizing that he was no longer behind me. With a quick glance back into the room, I saw that he had returned to the couch and was straightening the blanket. I deadpanned and used all the self control I had to not sigh aloud. Instead, I rolled my eyes, shaking my head as I left the room to return to my work in the parlor. I suppose old habits can be hard to break.

/

"There we go," I whispered to myself as I straightened my cap before taking one last glance in the mirror. With a sigh, I reminded myself there was nothing to be done to make the ill fitting uniform appear like it was suited for my frame. If there was, Nina wouldn't be here in the first place.

I grabbed the small stack of fashion sketches I had doodled on scrap sheets of paper and began heading to the drawing room. I had been working on the sketches for several weeks, as it was something I could do to pass the time and helped distract me from the darker paths of thought I was prone to wander when I was alone. To my excitement, the exercise had rendered some ideas that I thought Nina might find intriguing.

I smiled at the memory of the passionately forward thinking seamstress. Before my engagement to Ciel had been severed, she had also served as my family's tailor. There were times when she would visit and would unexpectedly end up staying several days with us while she and I exchanged ideas and sketches about the current and upcoming trends. Even though I was not overly enamored with the vanity of the fashion industry, I enjoyed the creativity it took and the gall to sometimes push the boundaries of what society thought was proper. A month before my relationship with the Phantomhives had ended, Nina had invited me to go to Paris with her in the spring of the following year. I never got to go. When my ties to Ciel and his family were broken, most other associated ties were as well. Angelina was the only one who had refused to cast me aside.

"You will never cease to vex me! Why do you refuse to let me fit you for a new uniform?" I heard Nina's exasperated voice complain, bringing my thoughts back to the present as I drew near to the drawing room.

"I have no need for a uniform," Sebastian objected, annoyance clear in his voice, "My uniform in reasonable and timeless, as a butler should be."

Nina huffed loudly before rebutting, "But all the butlers in London are wearing the most dapper dressings these days! You uniform makes you look like you should be a mortician, not someone's butler."

A smile teased at my lips as I chuckled at her condescending assessment. Yes, she was still the same Nina. She and I had similar arguments whenever I turned down some of the more decorative outfits she wanted to sew for me. I preferred elegant simplicity over gaudy embellishments.

I softly knocked on the door to announce my presence before entering. I froze, caught somewhere between concern and amusement as I saw Nina and Sebastian standing on opposite ends of the fabric filled table, both staring each other down. The intensity of their glares was so tangible, I concluded that were the table not there, they would have been at each other's throats.

"Thank you for your punctual arrival, Sarah," Sebastian greeted, his voice softer as he addressed me. Though, I noted with amusement, he did not waver in his standoff with Nina. Sebastian was the sort of man that did not like to have his authority challenged.

At the mention of my name, all of Nina's concentration on their argument was lost. Her head snapped to look in my direction, her face glowing with expectation and excitement.

"Sarah?" she asked, beaming as her gaze fell upon me. However, as she surveyed my attire, her expression morphed quickly from elation to utter horror.

"Oh, Sarah!" she exclaimed, rushing over to me and pulling me further into the room, my sketches falling to the floor as I tried to keep up with her. "If I had known the situation was this disastrous, I would've found a way to make it to you sooner!" she paused long enough to shoot Sebastian a soul piercing glare, "Mr. Stiff didn't tell me how bad it was."

I chuckled at her nickname for the butler. If only she knew of some of the things he had said to me.

"It's really not that bad," I quietly commented, trying to calm her outburst.

She did not respond, but crouched to inspect the hem of my skirt instead.

"Don't try to let him off so easily," she scolded, giving me a reproving look.

I glanced over to where Sebastian still stood in time to see him roll his eyes before he walked over to where my sketches lay strewn about the floor and began to pick them up.

Nina heaved a forlorn sigh, calling my attention back to her as she stood.

"There's nothing I can do with this. It'll have to come off."

"Wha-?" I began to ask, but my question was cut off as, in a matter of seconds, Nina's skilled hands had stripped me of my clothes, save my corset and knickers.

I let out a gasp as the cooler air of the room touched my bare skin. I felt an embarrassed heat spread all over my body as I clutched my arms around my torso to preserve any modesty I could. My heart pounded in my ears as I heard Sebastian give a small sound of approval and immediately averted my gaze to the floor. I knew I couldn't look at him, certain that he would be wearing one of those suggestive smirks he knew flustered me as his eyes slowly scanned over my body.

Nina clutched my shoulders and turned me so my back was now to the table, her scrutinizing gaze assessing my body as well. She let out and excited squeal, her eyes shimmering with a disturbing joy.

"I must admit, I almost didn't recognize you with you first came in. The last time I saw you, you still had a slightly boy-ish figure. But now," she paused, leaning into me as one of her hands grabbed greedily at my breasts and the other my rear, "you have grown into quite the delectable woman."

I blanched, giving out a small squeak as she gave both a noticeable squeeze, my cheeks growing warm from her attention. I had forgotten how enthusiastic she could be. Though, I hadn't received much attention from her in the past, not of this kind anyway. I was, as my father had so coarsely put it, a late bloomer. Though most of the womanly changes had happened when I was fourteen, my figure had remained, as Nina had noted, boy-ish until I was half way through my sixteenth year. Once the changes had begun, however, it seemed that my body wanted to make up for lost time. Much to the chagrin of my father's wallet, a mere six months later I fully transformed into a graceful hourglass figure.

Before I could object, I felt a strong arm wrap around my waist and pull me from where I stood pinned between the table and Nina. A blush renewed itself as I felt Sebastian hold me protectively against his body. A smoldering hunger burned inside me as I felt his body against my back as he held me, one arm wrapped around my torso, his other hand resting on my hip.

"Ms. Hopkins, need I remind you that while you are here, you are offering your services as a seamstress. I would appreciate it if you would control your curiosities until after your work is done," he cooly reprimanded.

Nina's expression deflated at his words.

"You're never any fun," she pouted, crossing her arms, looking utterly put out, "You need to lighten up, you big boobie."

Sebastian gave a soft huff of objection that sent a sudden breath against my neck and bare shoulders. I inhaled sharply, my back stiffening as the hunger intensified. The feeling of his hands on my body, the way his body felt against mine, the rumble of his chest as he spoke, all sent me into a haze of anticipation. My hands ached from wanting to touch him. Oh, how I wanted to feel his smooth pale skin underneath my fingertips.

I tried to focus on something, anything to distract myself from the growing hunger within me. Biting my lip, I looked down at the floor as I grabbed fistfuls of the thin cotton of my knickers, occupying my hands from what they would rather be doing.

"I do not have time to argue with you. I need to see about my master's afternoon tea."

There was a pause, followed by a dejected sigh from Nina.

"I understand."

"Good."

At her acquiescence, Sebastian released me from his hold. I took a deep breath in an attempt to clear my mind and ran my fingers through my hair. My efforts were unsuccessful. As desire faded away into the background of my thoughts, more urgent thoughts began rushing through my mind. What was wrong with me? This had never been a struggle for me before. Was this normal? It couldn't be. Why now? Why him?

"Sarah," his voice called and I obediently turned to him.

"Yes, Sebastian?" I answered, my voice a little more breathy than I had intended.

"I need you to be in the kitchen by half past three to help Bard with the preparations for tonight's dinner before the children from the orphanage arrive."

I nodded in acceptance.

"I will."

"Very good," he smiled and, without another word, he left, closing the door soundlessly behind him.

Behind me, Nina groaned with exasperation. When I turned around, she had draped her measuring tape around her neck and stood with her hands on her hips.

"I don't know how you can stand that man, more or less work for him," she complained, as she walked behind me and began undoing the laces of my corset before adding, "For heaven's sake, your corset and knickers aren't even fit for you to wear!"

"He's not that bad." I softly objected.

Nina snorted at my defense as she removed my corset and laid it on the table.

"He's really not," I continued, removing my knickers so she could begin her measuring, "He has done quite a bit for me since I came here."

Nina shot me a skeptical look over her spectacles as she wrapped her measuring tape around my chest. I said no more, but rather let her concentrate on her work, knowing that she would not come around on her opinion. In truth, Sebastian was the reason, save Angelina, why I had made as much progress as I had in the past month and a half. He had been with me every step of the way through my care, my recovery, and, now, my training. Every hurdle, every success, Sebastian had been there. He had been strict and always asked more of me than I thought I could give, but he had never left me alone. Despite his teasing and toying with me, he made me feel safe and protected. That was not something I had felt for some time.

"Well, if you ever decide that things aren't working out here, you are always welcome to come and work at my shop," Nina said as she scribbled some of my measurements in her paper pad.

I smiled gratefully as she continued her work.

"Thank you."

My heart stuttered with panic as she reached down to wrap the measuring tape around my left thigh.

"Wait!" I objected, hastily shoving my hand between my legs to cover the inside of my thigh, "I-I think you would be better off measuring my right thigh."

She quirked her brow at my odd request, but lowered the measuring tape anyway.

"I have a wound there that's still healing. I don't want it to get irritated," I lied.

Nina stared at me for a moment, clearly not convinced. However, she did not push the issue, moving the tape over to my right thigh instead. As she took a closer look at the tape to read the number, I clamped my hand tighter against my thigh. I could not have her see. No one, save Angelina, had seen. She was the only one I knew would understand.

"I swear, you and Ciel," she mumbled, shaking her head absentmindedly as she scribbled more numbers down, "He was just as touchy about me measuring his torso. Stubborn butler wouldn't take his hand off his back."

I allowed my gaze to wander over the richly hued fabrics that decorated the table, intrigued by this information. What did Ciel have to hide?

"You can start working on getting dressed. I've got all I need," Nina instructed as she sat at the table, taking extra notes in the margins of the page.

Turning my back to her, I stepped into my knickers, pausing as the nagging thought teased my curiosity. What _did_ Ciel have to hide? The death of his family and his return was still shrouded in mystery. It had been almost two years since Angelina had wrote to me to tell me that her nephew had come back, as if from the dead, but no more was known now than what had been revealed that day. No one knew who had attacked them, nor why. Even more questions swirled among the Underworld as the news of Ciel's reappearance began to spread. What had happened to him the month in which the world knew all the Phantomhive's to be dead? Where had he been? How had he survived? No one knew. All that was known for certain was that it was rumored the ruins of the Phantomhive mansion had been rebuilt overnight and that, accompanying the young earl like a shadow was a mysterious, black-clad butler.

As I continued to dress, my thoughts wandered to Sebastian. If it was even possible, he was even more of an enigma than his master. No one had heard of a Sebastian Michaelis until two years ago. Out of curiosity, I had done some investigating of my own after I had met him, but there was nothing to be found. Literally nothing. No record of his past employers, no family history, not even a birth certificate…nothing. It was as if he was a ghost.

Despite the time I had lived here, other than his personality, I still did not know much about him. In all honesty, I didn't know too much about any of the servants who I worked alongside every day, either. I only had clues, but no concrete explanation to confirm my suspicions. I should not think that Sebastian would be an exception.

As I buttoned up the front of my uniform, I decided that it would behoove me to find out what I could about the help of this house. If they were anything like me, their past would be less than savory, which would probably explain why they hadn't necessarily been forthcoming. Bard, I was sure had been a soldier of some sort, from his love of gun powder and his chronic smoking habit. Mey-Rin, I didn't know, but I could tell from the way she carried herself that she always had two guns on her, one on each leg. Finny was a stranger character still, but Sebastian was still the strangest of them all. Though to a typical visitor, the servants would have seemed completely normal. A bit overly accident prone and excitable, but still very much normal. However, if their contracts held similar language to mine, there was more to them than met the eye. A warning shiver went down my spine as an image of the handsome butler came to my mind. Yes, if there was one thing I could know for certain about anyone who lived under the Phantomhive roof, it was that things were never as they seemed.

/

The excited laughter and chatter of children echoed up the grand staircase. I sat, out of sight, close to the banister where I could observe the scene below. Due to being unable to assist with the event, I had been given the night off. Bard had invited me to come to town with him, but I had politely declined, knowing I would not feel up to doing so, and, frankly not wanting to either. A slight smile tugged at the corner of my mouth as I watched forty children enthusiastically bustling about the large open ballroom. Every once and awhile a child would pause, their mouth open in awe, their eyes sparkling with wonder as they looked about them. I could not blame them. If I was a child, I would have felt like I had stepped into a magical Christmas wonderland.

The entire first level of the mansion had been decorated from floor to ceiling with all sorts of Christmas decorations. To Finny's excitement, not just one, but five Christmas trees had been brought in and covered in all sorts of ornaments, ribbons, and shimmering chains of crystal. All the banisters and fireplaces were lined with pine and holly. Underneath all the trees, inviting, unopened presents waited for the children. It was beautiful, like a dream. It had taken two days for everything to be arranged, but seeing the look on the children's faces made the past two late nights worth every minute of lost sleep.

I rubbed my nose, the intense scent of pine and cinnamon making my nose tickle. My smile widened as I noticed how a large group of children flocked to Finny, who was giving them all rides around the room, carrying several on his back with ease. I am sure Tanaka and Sebastian did not approve of his undignified interaction with the children, but I had never seen Finny happier…and that was saying something. Tanaka stood, composed, in the corner of the room as he kept guard over the Christmas trees to make sure that no curious or mischievous children found a way to open a present before they should have. Mey-Rin was currently backing away from an overly enthusiastic girl who appeared to be fixated on wanting to try on her glasses. I had to stifle a chuckle as I heard her give out a nervous squeak when the girl took a well aimed swipe at the spectacles, dropping the tray she had been holding and scattering chocolates and other Funtom candy on the floor.

Luckily for Mey-Rin, I noticed as my gaze fell upon Sebastian, he was currently occupied with teaching a smaller group of children how to decorate gingerbread men. He had worn his glasses for the activity, I noticed as warmth crept to my cheeks. Something about him wearing those did something to me, but I was at a loss to explain why. I watched on with curiosity. The other day while he had been teaching me how to brew a perfect pot of Earl Gray tea, Ciel's favorite, Sebastian had shared that out of his myriad of duties as a butler, that teaching was his most favorite activity and was sorry he didn't get to do it more often. Even if I had not experienced his tutelage firsthand, seeing him teaching the children right now confirmed it. Sebastian was a natural. As if he could sense my attention on him, he looked up from helping a young girl prepare the icing bag to where he knew I was seated. I felt my heart flutter as his crimson eyes met mine. A soft smile graced his features that mirrored my own as I returned his gaze.

Movement below him caught my attention and I almost motioned for him to look down when I noticed how the girl was twisting the icing bag. However, just as I raised my hand to do so, the girl gave the bag a final, rigorous twist and managed to cover both herself and Sebastian in white frosting. A hearty laugh bubbled from my lips at the sight. Sebastian shot me another look as he pulled a handkerchief from his vest, his eyebrow quirking in annoyance. Covering my mouth with my hand to stifle my laughter, I felt the burst of joy subside. It had been some time since I had laughed...since even before that night.

My heart sank as I felt the familiar weight of silent grief settle once more inside me. Yes, while having the safety and security of working for Ciel had been a relief in many ways, the burden of our past silently lurked, unaddressed, like a haunting specter. A heavy sigh escaped my lips as my gaze wandered over to where one of the nuns sat in a high wing backed chair by the fireplace, reading a book to a few children who sat, huddled together on the carpet. My heart ached as the scene brought to mind the night when my bond with the Phantomhive's was broken forever.

My father and Lord Phantomhive had left to discuss the recent happenings in the Underworld. I had remained in the sitting room with Lady Phantomhive and the children. At the time, I had no need to understand the dark underbelly of the Empire. The children and I settled down on the rug that sat close to the fireplace, Lizzy snuggling close to my side, Ciel enthusiastically plopping on my lap as Rachel opened the well read book of the Tales of Finnian. It was their favorite. As the story continued, I felt Lizzy lean against me more as she struggled to keep her eyes open. Eventually, she rested on me completely as she drifted off to sleep. Ciel was a much different story, I had noticed as I rubbed his back to calm his squirming.

Suddenly, down the hall we heard a door slam open, followed by the angry shouts of my father and Lord Phantomhive. Ciel and I jumped at the noise and Lizzy stirred, sitting up again as her emerald eyes blearily opened. All of us looked expectantly at the door, wondering what was happening. Moments later my father burst into the room. His face was red and blotchy with rage. Upon seeing his face, Ciel rose from my lap and ran to the comforting arms of his mother. Lord Phantomhive entered, his face soured with anger. What had happened?

"Sarah," my father barked as he grabbed his cane and hat, "Get up. We are going."

I hesitantly, but obediently listened, my gaze flitting between my father and the lord.

"PaPa, what is going on?"

My father's face darkened, contorting unpleasantly as he turned a deeper shade of red, but he did not answer me. Tanaka entered the room, carrying my jacket, which my father snatched away rudely before shoving it towards me. My fingers fumbled at the buttons in my haste and anxiousness. I did not know what was happening, but I had never seen Lord Phantomhive anywhere near enraged, so I knew it could not be good.

Worry was etched on Ciel's face as he watched what was unfolding before him. A moment later, he dashed over to me, grabbing my hand as I finished with my jacket.

"Wait! Sarah, you can't leave. We haven't finished our story."

I tried to muster the most comforting smile I could as I looked down at the disappointed child.

"We can finish it when I come back," I started, before my father angrily cut me off.

"No you won't. This is the last time you will see the Phantomhive's, Sarah."

I looked at him, bewildered, as I tried to comprehend what he had just said.

"What?" I whispered, tears welling in my eyes as my heart began to fracture, "Why?"

Once again, my father offered no reply, but instead grabbed ahold of my arm and jerked me forward as he began to storm out of the room. The rooms passed by in a dizzying blur as my father marched me out to the carriage that waited for us. Tears poured down my cheeks as Ciel's pained cries echoed down the hallway, calling out for me to come back…and to not leave him. The gravel of the drive crunched underneath our feet as we walked the short distance from the stairs to the carriage, where the footman waited, holding the door open. I took his hand, entering the carriage behind my father when a voice called out.

"Wait!"

I turned to see Lord Phantomhive running up to me. His breathing was heavy as he grabbed my hands, squeezing them urgently.

"Sarah, you have to listen to me," he whispered breathlessly, his eyes locking with mine, "You have to promise you will find a way to get away from your father. You have to."

My father growled before reaching around me and slamming the carriage door shut. I sat, stunned, as we lurched forward and sped away from the Phantomhive manor.

Over the noises and the jostling of the carriage, I heard Lord Phantomhive cry, "It's not safe!"

I still did not know what he meant by those words, but I know I certainly did not listen to them then. I was too consumed with heartbreak to pay them any attention. Sobs escaped my lips as I looked at the Phantomhive manor, my hands pressed against the glass of the window as I saw the children pounding on the window of the sitting room, tears spilling down their faces as well.

I tensed as I heard a high pitched squeal from the ballroom below, the noise pulling me out of my memory. Frustrated, I gruffly wiped the tears from my cheeks that I had not known had fallen. The past few days I had been more prone to crying when I was alone. It seemed that today would be no exception. I huffed and gingerly rose to my feet. Grabbing the cane that Tanaka had leant me for the night, I began to hobble my way to the library. I needed a distraction from these thoughts. This house was filled with far too many painful memories. I needed an escape.

I ignored the throbbing of my leg as I slowly made my way down the hall. That day had been the beginning of a much darker chapter of my life. It had taken me some time to realize it, but the Phantomhive's had been one of the best things that had ever happened to me. Having them removed from my life had been as painful as a limb being removed from my body. I suppose that was one of the more difficult things about Ciel returning to my life. There was an emptiness, a longing, for our relationship to return to the way it had been that remained painfully unfulfilled. I had realized one day earlier in the week when I had caught a glimpse of Ciel in the midst of his dance lesson, that I loved him. I always had and the time apart had not changed that. Not love in the romantic sense of the word, but to the point that I ached for that lost intimacy we had once shared…that closeness…that friendship. But now it felt as if a large chasm sat between us, one that had been wrought from our separate tragedies. Yes, Ciel and I were much different people than we had been then.

I paused as I opened the library door, looking into the dimly lit room, only the fire and soft moonlight illuminating the large room. To my relief, it appeared that no one else was here. I hobbled over to one of expansive bookshelves and scanned the spines of the books, grabbing one haphazardly before making my way to sit by the fire. I did not really care what I read, anything would do at this moment. I winced as I lowered myself slowly to the floor, extending my leg so it rested comfortably against the cool stone of the hearth. Momentarily, I regretted not choosing one of the chairs that sat close by, but I wouldn't have had the full advantage of the light and warmth from the fire if I had done so.

Without another thought, I opened the book and began to peruse its pages. Apparently I had chosen a book that contained pictures and illustrations of exotic creatures of the Amazon. While the color filled pages were beautiful, they did not hold my attention for long and soon I found myself gazing into the flames, my chin resting on my hand as my thoughts began to wander down an all too familiar, twisted path.

"It never really kept my attention, either," someone spoke, wrenching me from my thoughts.

I jumped and turned to where the voice had come from to see Ciel sitting in one of the wingback chairs by the fireplace. How had I missed him? He must have been curled up in the chair to where I couldn't see him and when I had passed him to come to my seat, I hadn't paid them any attention. He straightened his legs and crossed them, a toying smile on my face.

"My lord!" I started, gripping the cane as I made to get up, "My apologies, my lord, Sebastian had said that we could borrow any of the books and I did not know you were in here."

As I finally came to stand aright, I turned to make my leave, when Ciel put up a staying hand. Obediently, I remained where I stood.

"It is alright. You don't have to get all worked up on my account. So, tell me, how are the festivities getting on downstairs? Are the children enjoying themselves?"

I nodded, "Yes, my lord."

"Good," he said, with a nod of approval.

He paused for a moment before he added, with a shake of his hand, "And you can drop the 'my lord' formalities when we are alone. I tire of hearing that all day."

"Yes, my-," I began, but corrected myself when he shot me a reproving glare, "Yes, Ciel."

The crackling of the fire filled the silent void that followed as we said nothing, but rather observed each other hesitantly, neither of us knowing how to proceed. Finally, I decided I would be the first to speak.

"May I ask a question?"

Ciel eyed me suspiciously, but cautiously agreed, "Yes, you may."

"Why are you not down with the orphans? I thought an earl such as yourself would want to be present at an event like this."

My curiosity piqued as my question garnered an unusual reaction. His eye widened, in that brief moment a look of pure horror and pain surfaced, but was squelched as quickly as it had appeared. Rather, deep sorrow replaced the fear in his eye as he turned his gaze from me to the fire, resting his chin on his knuckles. Like the horror, the sorrow was quickly buried, locked away before more could be revealed, his face becoming a cool, unreadable mask once more. And there it was again, the chasm. My heart ached as I wanted to reach out to him with words of comfort to ease whatever horrors gave birth to his pain. But he was not just Ciel anymore, he was Earl Phantomhive and I was now a lowly servant. He was my master, not my friend. The chasm would remain.

"How are you adjusting to your new life?" he asked tersely as he finally broke the silence, his jaw tense.

I blinked, surprised at the change of subject.

"Well enough," I cautiously replied, before adding, "It has been a drastic change, to be sure, but everyone has been helpful in educating me on my duties. I thank you again for your generosity."

I curtsied slightly as I finished, the scoffing laugh that came from his lips caused me to pause.

"You should be thanking Sebastian, not me," he spat, his gaze icy as he turned to look upon me, "I did not want you to stay."

It took every ounce of self control I had not to reveal the pain his words caused. I was determined not to give him that satisfaction, but rather stood still and resolute, my face unreadable.

"Why is that?" I asked, my voice calm and even despite the fact that my heart felt as if it had been torn asunder, though at the same time, anger flared within it as well.

"I do not trust you," he sharply answered, before rising and coming to stand before me. The presence he carried was more than any twelve year old should be able to muster.

"There was a reason my predecessor cast you and your father out and I intend to find out what that was," he continued, his gaze intensely searching mine for any weakness, "In the meantime, should you do anything to betray me, you will be dead before you are able to execute your plan. Do I make myself clear?"

How dare he! I thought as I struggled to keep my hands from clenching. I knew that he was my master and could say and do as he pleased, but what gave him the right to say this to me? I had been nothing but obedient since I came here. I clenched my jaw, holding back the sharp remark that wanted to slice his pride down to size, instead mustering a strained,

"Yes."

I returned his gaze, unwavering. I had nothing to hide. When he did not press the matter further, the flame of my anger fanned once more. All sense leaving me in that moment, I defiantly took a step forward so I was standing toe to toe with him, unable to maintain the façade of polite conversation any longer.

"If I may be so bold, need I remind you that I myself do not know the reason your father cast us out. And you have no cause for fear of betrayal. Not from me, at least. I have been nothing but loyal to your family, despite the fact that you cast me out like I was garbage," I retorted. Though my voice was cool and calm, the ice and venom that laced my words could not be missed.

For a brief moment, Ciel looked wounded by what I had said. Good. My words had hit their mark. However, as his jaw clenched, he steeled his gaze against any further show of emotion.

"What do you mean?" he challenged, not wanting to lose the upper hand in this argument.

I crossed my arms as I looked down my nose at him.

"Do you really think you found Lau all on your own?"

He hid it well, but I could tell that he had been surprised by this development. I had met Lau a couple of years ago when he came to visit my father. At first I had been unimpressed with him, as first impressions indicated that he was a clueless, opium addicted idiot. However, as I got to know him, I recognized the calculating mind that worked behind that façade and knew that he would be a tremendous asset to Ciel. A few months later, I had managed to acquire an invitation to a ball that Ciel was hosting in order to introduce the two without being directly involved. The rest was history.

"Is that all you wished to say to me, my lord?" I asked, finished with my attack for now.

I hid the smirk that teased my lips as I noticed him wince with frustration at how I addressed him.

"Yes, for now," he curtly replied, before adding, "I believe it is time for you to retire for the night."

"I agree, my lord."

With that, I made my leave, forcing myself to proudly carry the cane rather than using it. My leg throbbed from the exertion, but it was worth it.

"Sarah," Ciel called as I reached to close the door.

"Yes, my lord?"

"One more thing," he started, but paused as he returned to his seat, lacing his fingers together as he continued, "Sebastian seems to have taken a keen interest in you, but I would keep a safe distance from him if I were you. He is not someone you should wish to find yourself entangled with."

I nodded, unable to offer any coherent response to his warning, before I closed the door. I fumed as I stood outside, staring at the darkly stained mahogany of the door, frustrated that he had managed to finish the conversation with the upper hand. What had he meant by that? My mind whirred as I tried to make sense of what he had said. After giving several minutes to the exercise, I gave up and began to make my way to my quarters.

Several minutes later, I entered the bathing room and quickly stripped off my clothes and turned on the shower. I sighed, enjoying how the warm water cascaded down my body, massaging my tense and aching muscles. I lathered up a cloth with some soap and began washing, my thoughts returning to my earlier conversation with Ciel. As I rinsed the soap from my body, I could not shake the foreboding feeling that came over me as the image of Sebastian refused to leave my thoughts. What had Ciel meant? I paused as a thought suddenly occurred to me. What if what Ciel had said was only a ploy to try to unnerve me…to interfere with my efforts to become an exemplary house maid? After all, he had told me that he did not want me here. What better way to do that than to interfere with my relationship with the servant who had the most control over my fate here? Then he would have a cause to be rid of me, but would still maintain the pretense of having helped me. Of course that was the only reasonable explanation. In my short time here, I had learned some things about Sebastian and while I did know him to be a perfectionist, loyal, and a tease, dangerous would not be one of the words I would use to describe him. Not from what I had _seen_ , anyway.

Satisfied with that explanation, I twisted the handles to shut off the water. Though a moment later I paused, staring at the tile lined wall in front of me, the quite dripping of the water echoing against the floor and walls. My stomach tensed as doubt crept into my mind, a nagging thought that refused to be pacified. If that was all it was, if this was just a game concocted by Ciel to eventually have me sacked, why was it that sometimes Sebastian _felt_ dangerous?


	10. His Butler: Exasperated

**Author's note:**

Hello and Happy Holidays to you all! Welcome to another chapter.

As always, thank you for taking interest in this story and to all who have favorited and followed. A special THANK YOU to those who offered review of chapter nine: **RedFantisies, alexandriasutherland98,** and **Akuma-Sama2002.** I wanted to make a special mention of the reviews that were given by **Guest** and **.** I am not sure why, but their reviews are not appearing in the review section (though I have experienced some issues with the site this week, so maybe that's why), but I wanted to make sure I recognized them as well. I would usually reply to your reviews via PM, but I will here instead. Thank you so much for reading the story and for your enthusiastic interest. I hope you continue to enjoy Sarah's journey. Also, I wanted to also thank everyone who has been offering support and feedback behind the scenes. You lovelies know who you are.

So, without further ado, I give you chapter ten. Poor Sarah and Sebastian…they are going to have a rough day.

 **Chapter Ten: His Butler, Exasperated**

I knew it was going to be a long day as soon as I heard the frantic rapping on my bedroom door. Groggily, I squinted at the small clock that sat on my dresser. It was four o'clock. Why was someone up at this godforsaken hour? It was a half an hour before I usually had to start my day. No one else should be out of bed.

A maid's day starts early, especially if you are the lowest ranking maid of the house. My day began at four thirty when I would rise, an hour before everyone else in the house, and begin my morning routine of getting ready for the day. At five, I would go downstairs to the scullery and begin boiling the water that would be used for washing dishes and laundry, cooking, and bathing. Once that was underway, I would begin to light the fires, taking a moment to stop by the other servants' quarters to wake them. I always started with the room Finny and Bard shared because the two of them were difficult to rouse and would often require me rounding back to their room at least two or three more times before I would hear any sign of life. Mey-Rin and Tanaka never posed such a problem. I usually heard some noise or word of acknowledgement after my first succession of knocks to let me know they were awake. Sebastian, not that it was any surprise, was the only servant I never had to wake up. Usually I would pass him in the hallway as I went up to wake the others while he went downstairs to prepare our breakfast. I had learned on my first day that either Sebastian or Tanaka prepared the day's first meal. I had been confused at first, considering Bard was the cook, but I quickly found out why…apparently they wanted to ensure that we had at least one edible meal a day.

After that, I would finish lighting the fires and would return to the servant's hall just in time for breakfast to be served. At breakfast, the normal beginning of day conversation would commence while we were eating. I would typically remain silent for most of those exchanges, only adding a comment here or there when prompted to by the others, preferring silence to the droll conversation. Sebastian usually remained silent as well until he interrupted to assign the duties for the day. I also noticed that he never ate, or at least never ate when the rest of us were present. Bard said he thought he always ate in his office, but I had seen no evidence of that, either. I did not give it much thought, though. He was a grown man and could make sure that he kept himself fed. It was just odd.

From there, I would commence on performing the tasks Sebastian had assigned me for the day, only taking a break for around one for lunch and then around nine o'clock when we all came together for dinner. After dinner was concluded, I would spend the next two hours cleaning the kitchen and scullery to make sure everything was prepared for the next day and going about ensuring that the fires that needed to remain lit for the night were stoked well enough they would not expire and that the ones that did not were adequately extinguished. To my relief, we had not had cold enough weather that I needed to check on them during the night. Finally, after all my work was completed and I had prepared myself for the night, I would fall into bed, exhausted and sore, by eleven thirty or midnight only to have to do it all over again the next day. It was tiring work, but I did not mind it. In fact, in my own way, I actually enjoyed it. Having a routine again and something to distract my thoughts helped provide me with some much needed stability. But, it also made me covet one thing above all else…sleep. And I was currently being robbed of the last few precious minutes of it.

I heaved a heavy sigh as I swung my legs over the bed, rubbing my eyes and stretching as I waited for my brain to come out of the fog that slumber created. Grabbing the loaned night coat from where I had draped it over the foot of my bed, I slipped it on as I shuffled to the door.

"I'm coming," I called to whoever was outside my door before mumbling grumpily under my breath, "This better be worth it."

The match crackled as I struck it to light the candle. While my room was small enough to be lit by the moonlight that filtered through the window, I knew the hallway would still be pitch black at this hour.

"Yes, who is it?" I asked, reaching for the lock.

"It's me, Sarah," Mey-Rin's panicked whisper answered.

Without hesitating another moment, I unlocked the door and opened it, anxious to see what was the matter. I started as the candlelight illuminated the hall about us. Mey-Rin stood before me, trembling uncontrollably, her nightgown soaked through, her hair a disheveled mess. Assuming the worst, I reached out a comforting hand.

"Mey-Rin, what has happened?" I whispered softly, steeling myself for what she might say.

"Oh, Sarah," she began, earnestly grasping my hand, "You must come quickly! If Sebastian finds out, he'll skin us alive!"

Without waiting for an answer from me, Mey-Rin turned and, still having a vice like grip on my hand, began pulling me down the hall. I gripped the candleholder tighter to make sure I did not drop it as we dashed down the servant's stairs to the second floor. My mind whirred, trying to make sense of what was happening. Why was Mey-Rin so worried? Nothing seemed to be amiss with Ciel or the other servants. Surely nothing could have been destroyed at this hour…no one was supposed to be up yet. And why had she said "us"?

We halted abruptly as we came to the bathing room that was used by Ciel and any noble guests who stayed in the manor. What could have happened here? Our bathing room was on the same floor as our quarters.

Finally able to catch my breath, I looked to Mey-Rin for an explanation.

"You have to tell me what in the world we are doing at his lordship's bathing room," I panted.

Even in the poor light given by the candle, I noticed Mey-Rin pale considerably at my words. She opened and shut her mouth several times as she attempted to offer an explanation, but seemed to find herself with a lack of words. I sighed heavily when she was unable to respond.

"Honestly, Mey-Rin," I huffed as I marched to the door, "It cannot be all that bad."

I wrenched open the door and found myself unable to move as I took in the scene before me.

"Oh, good heavens," I whispered, still unable to believe what my eyes were seeing.

It appeared that somehow the handle to the cold water tap of the tub had been broken off and the pipe that carried the water to the tub had been damaged, which had not only caused the tub to overflow, but to also send a geyser of water shooting up into the air. Fortunately, due to the size of the room, the water that was rapidly covering the floor had not made it to the door to seep into the hallway…not yet, at least. If we didn't figure out something soon, however, it would.

"Oi!"

The startled cry broke me out of my shock induced stare. I turned to where the cry had originated to find Bard doing the last button of his sleeping trousers, a deep blush on his face. Looking down, I noticed the other clothing that lay, haphazardly strewn across the wet floor. Then, glancing over at Mey-Rin as she timidly joined me by my side, I noted the red marks that littered her neck and shoulders. I inhaled sharply as I realized what had happened. I may have been somewhat innocent when it came to the dealings between men and women, but I wasn't, as they say, born yesterday. I was here because of a rendezvous gone wrong.

"Sarah, we can explain," Mey-Rin hesitantly began, a blush of shame creeping across her face.

I put up a silencing hand. I was beginning to understand why Sebastian seemed so stern. Maybe I should not have judged him so harshly.

"There's no need."

Bard stepped closer, pulling his shirt on as he interrupted, "What do you need us to do?"

He withered as I gave him a scathing look.

"I will handle things here. You two gather your things and try to get back to your rooms without being seen," I paused, prepared to end there when I noticed the worried looks on both their faces, "And I won't speak a word of your indiscretion."

Both breathed a collective sigh of relief at my words before they quickly executed my instructions.

"Thank you," Mey-Rin gushed gratefully as she took the candle from me and they both hurried out the door.

"Yeah, thanks." Bard called back.

Now that I was alone, I turned to look at the chaos that surrounded me. Sighing, I put my hands on my hips, as I whispered, defeat clear in my voice, "How am I supposed to fix this?"

After a moment of consideration, I decided that the first thing I should do is do what I could to prevent the water from reaching the hallway. So, I closed the door and, removing my night coat, stuffed it underneath the door to seal it off as best I could. Then, quickly pattering over to the tub, I tied some of the soaked towels around some of the gaps in the pipes to slow the streams of water that came from those holes. Though it did nothing to stop the fountain that was coming from the top of the pipe, it still helped, if only minutely.

I raised my hand to my chin as I inspected broken handle, shivering as water rained down from the accidental fountain, soaking me through. If there was a way that I could tighten it, that might cut off the demand for the water. That was really a shot in the dark. I didn't have any sort of plumbing knowledge. I looked about the room to see if there might be anything I could use as leverage but could not find any. Sighing once more, I pushed my sleeves up to my elbows and firmly grasped the metal bit where the handle should have been and twisted as much as my trembling hands would allow. It did not budge. Instead, my hands slipped off the bit and over where the water spouted freely from the pipe, causing water to spray me in the face. I gasped at the frigid temperature and backed away, my heart pounding in my chest.

Above the rush of the water, I heard the door slam open. I turned towards the door, opening my mouth to warn whoever it was not to come in, but found myself frozen when I realized who it was. Sebastian stood, hands on either side of the doorway, as he stared, mouth slightly open, at the sight before him. If I hadn't been so surprised by his appearance, I would have found his shock amusing. I guessed it mirrored the expression I had worn but a few minutes ago. However, I found myself distracted by the haphazardly disheveled look of his hair and slightly flushed cheeks. I felt warmth pool inside me as my gaze traveled lower to where his unbuttoned shirt hung loosely from his torso, where the pale skin of his muscular chest and toned abdomen were revealed. Apparently this situation had been brought to his attention whilst he was getting ready. What a delicious sight. About to indulge myself and allow my gaze to travel lower, I noticed that he had stepped into the room.

The irritation and accusation that were clear in his glare erased all previous thoughts and made my heart stutter in fear. Defensively, I held up my hands as he closed the door behind him, slipping the now saturated night coat back into place.

"I didn't do this," I blurted out, which caused him to pause. Taking advantage of this, I quickly added, "I can't get this to tighten to shut off the water."

I reached down, doing my best to keep my hands from trembling as my whole body shook from the cold, and grabbed hold of the bit. I was about to demonstrate what I had been trying when his gloved hands took hold of mine. I paused, my brow quirking questioningly as my gaze me his. A slight smile graced his lips as he removed my hands from the bit.

"Allow me."

Crouching to reach below the tub, he twisted a knob that was tucked underneath that I hadn't seen. Immediately, the geyser stopped and the water ceased to flow from the tub's faucet. I wrapped my arms around my torso as I continued to shiver, my breath shaky. Sebastian rose to stand, a proud grin on his face as he clasped his hands together.

"There, you see? Problem solved."

"Thank you," I breathed, internally scolding myself for not noticing the cut off valve, then, looking about the room, added, "What are we going to do about this?"

Sebastian placed his hands on his hips as he surveyed the damage for a moment before replying, "The tub should drain soon. Then we can use buckets to scoop up most of the water and mop up the rest. Thanks to your quick thinking with the night coat, the hallway wasn't too affected."

I attempted a grateful smile, but it was a feeble execution at best. My body jerked suddenly, my muscles tight as I tried to warm myself. This did not go unnoticed. I averted my gaze as I heard the quiet splashing of water as Sebastian walked over to me.

"A bit cold, are we?" he asked. I did not have to look at him to know he was wearing one of his signature toying smiles. I jumped and turned back to him when I felt his hand rest on my shoulder, before he added, "We should get you upstairs and into a fresh change of clothes."

My eyes searched his as I tried to determine whether or not he was being genuine or if he was suggestively jesting, but I found his expression strangely unreadable. Deciding I would rather not find out what exactly he had meant, I feigned an apologetic smile as I stepped back, sliding myself from his grasp.

"That is alright," I began as I turned and made my way towards the door, "I will retrieve what buckets I can from the scullery so we can begin to clean up. The walk should help."

I reached for the doorknob and had begun to open the door, when a shadow appeared to my right just before the door was slammed shut with a bang. I blinked a couple of times, glancing to where I saw a gloved hand resting against the door.

"I'm afraid I can't allow that," Sebastian's voice purred in my ear.

I did my best to ignore the craving his voice elicited, choosing instead to focus on the pang of annoyance his actions provoked.

"And why not?" I defiantly asked, crossing my arms as I turned myself around to face him.

My heart stuttered as I realized how closely he stood to me, towering over me as he leaned his elbow against the door. His damp hair clung to his cheeks, small droplets of water falling from the ends of the fringes to his chest, glistening as they slowly made their way down his smooth alabaster skin. A hint of a blush flushed my cheeks as I nervously grabbed fistfuls of the skirt of my nightgown as I tried to suppress the urge to reach out and touch him. This was an already compromising situation, I reminded myself as a clenched my hands so hard I felt water trickle through my fingers from the thick flannel material. I shouldn't complicate my situation further by giving credibility to the rumors that had already been spread…that I was a slut…a whore. None of which were true, but once the words had been spoken, the damage had been done.

"Well, for one, the longer you remain in these clothes and freeze, the more likely you are to get sick. You have only just recovered completely from your injuries. I won't have you getting sick on my watch. Besides," Sebastian started with a matter of fact tone before pausing.

Nothing but the pounding of my heart in my ears drowned out the silence that fell between us as his eyes slowly traveled down my body, outlining every detail as he did so. A smirk teased the corner of his mouth, clearly enjoying what he was seeing. My blush deepened, though, to my surprise, I felt an overwhelming pride swell inside me along with a desire to reveal more to him. My eyes widened as I realized that, rather than being modestly embarrassed, I was enjoying this. There was something strangely satisfying at being able to give him a taste of his own medicine. I blanched at the thought. What was wrong with me?!

At that moment, his gaze snapped back up to mine and I could have sworn his eyes flashed a brilliant crimson for a moment. However, when I blinked, his strangely hued eyes were the same as always.  
"Besides," he repeated, taking a step closer to me, effectively closing almost all of the distance between us. I clenched my hands harder, digging my fingernails into the palms of my hands as he leaned in, his gaze never leaving mine as he brought his face a mere inches away from mine, "With as soaked as your nightgown is, it leaves little to the imagination."

I gasped, looking down for a moment to realize that he was correct. Though the thickness of the flannel prevented anything explicit from being seen, there were really no secrets being hidden by how the material clung to every inch of my body. An embarrassed heat went through me and I quickly wrapped my arms across my chest, relieved that I still had the modesty I had seemed to be sorely lacking a minute ago.

"Why didn't you say something sooner?" I demanded, shooting the butler a disapproving look, to which he chuckled and smiled, feigning innocence.

"Why, I thought you knew."

I growled angrily and glared up at him, trying to look as indignant as my trembling body would allow. When I offered no retort, a satisfied smile came across his features.

"Very well then, why don't you put this on until we get you upstairs? An extra layer should help," he said, more as a statement than a suggestion a moment before he removed his shirt and wrapped it around my shoulders.

Cursed be that butler if he had any idea what he was doing to me. I remained silent, pulling the shirt more securely around me, as he bent over to pick up my drenched night coat and walked back to put it in the tub. As he did so all of the emotions raging inside me were a cacophony compared to the indifferent silence I maintained on the outside. My eyes greedily traced the muscular contours and lines of his back and shoulders, making sure I glanced down at the floor as soon as he made to turn around.

Without another word, he opened the door and exited into the hall. I assumed I was supposed to follow so I did, quickly jogging to join him at his side. Another violent shiver shook my body as we began ascending the servant's stairs and I pulled his shirt tighter to my body. Even though his shirt was still damp, it was dryer than my nightgown and offered comfort more than anything. Curious, I closed my eyes and rubbed my nose inconspicuously against the collar of his shirt, feeling my muscles relax somewhat as I took in a deep breath of his scent. It was a pleasant mixture of earth, cinnamon, and musk.

As we continued our walk in silence, I glanced over to Sebastian, my mind at a loss to explain how one person could make me feel so many different things. It was perplexing, to be sure, but I had come to find that I did not mind it, not even the explicit desire, though it fought against my modest nature. I had still been cautious. Ciel's warning and my own instincts had not been lost on me. But I found that the more time I spent around the enigma of a butler, the more comfortable I felt around him. I had come to realize that, slowly over the past month and a half, he had become my friend. It was an unusual friendship, seeing as neither of us were entirely normal, with him being the butler for one of the Queen's guard dogs and I a former Silencer, but it was a welcome companionship that we both seemed to mutually enjoy in our own way.

"Sarah," Sebastian called, drawing my attention to him before he continued, "Earlier you said that you hadn't caused the destruction in the bathing room. Do you know who did?"

I paused as we came to the door of my quarters, sighing internally. I had hoped that he would let it go.

"Yes, I do."

His eyebrow quirked, displeased that I had not been as forthcoming as he had wanted. He opened his mouth to press the issue further when I cut him off.

"And, no, I won't tell you."

"Why not?" he asked, stepping towards me. I stepped away from him and opened the door. I did not want to be pinned by him again, especially not where we could easily be seen.

"Because, I promised not to. And if there is one thing you can know about me, Sebastian Michaelis, it is that I always keep my promises," I replied, a playful smirk on my lips as I turned to face him, finding a smirk on his face that mirrored my own.

"That is a bold statement, coming from the daughter of Richard Wakefield. I thought your father built his legacy on broken promises."

"He did. But that is how he created so many enemies," I stated, holding my ground as he stepped towards me again, leaning his shoulder against the doorframe. My gaze was firm and determined as I looked into his face, "I may be my father's daughter, but I am not him."

He chuckled softly, an amused smile lighting his face.

"Very well, then," he paused, his amused smile morphing into a wickedly mischievous grin before adding, "You do realize that I will find out whether you tell me or not."

"Yes," I quipped, "but at least I will have kept up my part."

I was about to add that he should return to his chambers to clean up himself, when I tensed once more, my teeth chattering as strong shivers shook my body. Sebastian's brow dipped in a concerned frown.

"Perhaps you should take a warm shower before you start your day."

"But," I objected, glancing back at the clock to see that it was already a little after five, "what about the fires and the water? That needs to be done before breakfast."

Warmth heated my cheeks when I felt a gloved finger pressed against my lips to silence any further objection.

"Do not concern yourself about it. I will take care of everything."

My brows raised questioningly at his statement. I had no idea how he was going to prepare himself for the day, heat the water, light the fires, wake the servants, and cook a full breakfast in less than fourty-five minutes. It seemed impossible.

"No need to worry, everything will be done as it should be. Because," he began, then winking, he added, "I am simply one hell of a butler."

/

The deep grating rhythm of the brush against the floor of the dining room thrummed in my ears as I scrubbed the richly hued hardwood. I felt beads of sweat on my nose and forehead and loose strands of hair dangled by my face, tickling my flushed cheeks as I continued my work on my hands and knees. Scrubbing the floors was hard work, especially of a room this size…and this was the second time this week I was doing it. When Sebastian had informed me of this task at breakfast, I thought I had misheard him. However, when I had attempted to clarify by reminding him that I had done so on Monday, he had repeated that the dining room floors needed to be scrubbed in such a tone that I knew I was not to question his orders a second time.

I sighed as I felt the glove on my right hand slip to expose the palm of my hand. Sebastian had given them to me on my first day, stating that there was a good chance that I might eventually assist with cases during which I might have to disguise as a noble woman. One could not pass as a lady with a maid's hands. I thought it was a rather silly precaution at the time, given how comically large the gloves were for my hands, but in the past two weeks I had come to appreciate them. Despite the protection they offered, I still had to apply a good deal of ointment to my hands each night before bed due to how chaffed they had become from working so much in water.

I rose to sit on my knees and taking the neck of the damp glove between my teeth, as I did not want to get my left glove wet-I intentionally did this in case I had to handle something quickly I could not do with wet gloves, and gave a firm tug. At the same time, I heard Sebastian call my name from the doorway which was to my left.

I turned, mid-tug, to acknowledge his arrival. A queer look passed over his features, as if he had been struck with something, his eyes snapping to where the glove rested between my teeth. However, it did not last long enough for me to truly discern what he was feeling before his face returned to his normal stoic expression.

"Yes, Sebastian?" I asked, releasing the glove.

"I have come to take you on the remaining part of the tour of the mansion. Now that you have fully recovered, I believe you are ready for it."

I raised my brow in bewilderment and frustration. If he was going to do that, then why in the world did he have me doing this?

"I thought you wanted me to scrub the floors," I challenged.

"Let me rephrase my previous statement," he said, his tone taking on an edge of annoyance, "Our master wishes you to finish the tour. He wants you to do something, call it a test of sorts."

After a moment of consideration, I nodded in acquiescence before I removed and pocketed the gloves and rose to my feet, reminding myself that today was not a day I should be trying Sebastian's patience. The incident in the bathroom was only the beginning folly of the day. Later this morning, Mey-Rin had managed to break an entire set of the finest china while she was cleaning and Finny had tracked a copious amount of snow through the whole lower floor of the mansion. How he had done it, I could not begin to fathom. Though, most of the accidents that occurred because of the servants seemed to have little to no reasonable explanation. Such as how Bard thought the best way to clean up the snow was to melt it with a flame thrower he had procured from who knows where. There were some I had heard that had the misfortune of being accident prone, but these three seemed to have a proclivity for it. Needless to say, by lunch Sebastian appeared to be at the end of his rope and when Finny had attempted an apology, Sebastian had rose without a word and went outside.

"Should I change before we do?" I asked, picking up the pail and brush.

"No," he briskly replied as I walked up to him, "There is a good chance you will get dirtier during this tour. I do not want you to ruin your evening uniform."

Without another word, he turned on his heal and began to stride down the hallway. Knowing I was to follow, I did so without prompting, sprinting to catch up with him, making sure I did not do so too quickly, as I did not want to spill any of the soiled water on the carpet.

"What sort of test?" I questioned, glancing up at him.

Without looking at me, he opened the door to the servant's stairs and began to descend at a quick pace so I had to rush to keep up.

"You will find out once we arrive," he answered, his smooth voice echoing against the plaster walls.

"Arrive where?" I prodded as we came to the hall of the lower floor where we, as servants, spent most of our time.

I grimaced, doing all I could to keep the sloshing pail from spilling its contents on the floor as Sebastian halted abruptly in front of me. He turned, just as abruptly, to face me. I could tell from the strained nature of his expression that I was to tread carefully.

"My, you are full of questions today," he taunted.

I dropped my gaze to the floor in apology for my curiosity.

He paused for a moment, possibly considering how to respond, though I could not tell because I dared not look at his face, before he walked into the scullery where I was to deposit the pail and brush.

"It is a room that I like to call my special pantry."

I rolled my eyes as soon as my back faced him, pouring the contents of the pail into the large sink. Yes, because that really cleared things up.

Accepting that I would receive no legitimate reply from him, I dried my hands on my soiled apron before I removed it and discarded it on the counter until I needed it again. He was waiting expectantly for me to finish when I turned around and quickly exited the scullery once he saw I was ready. I followed him as we made our way down the hall, passing rooms with which I was already familiar: the servant's hall, the kitchen, the larder and the door to the cellar, the butler's pantry, and Sebastian's office. Other than the wash room and the area where the firewood was kept, which were located the opposite direction, I did not know of any other rooms that were located on the servant's floor.

We rounded a corner at what I thought had been the end of the hall, as I hadn't had any need nor time to explore this far on my own, and continued for several more meters before we came to a stop in front of an imposing set of double doors. Sebastian then reached into his tailcoat and removed a large brass key, which he extended to me.

"These doors are usually locked, so you will need to carry this on you at all times should the need arise for you to access this room." He instructed, but gave no further explanation.

I held the questions back that I so desperately wanted to ask. Not that I would have had any time to. As soon as I safely pocketed the key, he turned and opened both of the doors in a grand fashion.

"My apologies for the delay, my lord," he said, announcing our presence before we both stepped into the well lit room.

As he strode over to stand by his master's side, I found myself unable to move. My lips parted as I stared around the room in childish wonder. The room was enormous! It must have spanned the second half of the lower floor and was filled from floor to ceiling with weapons of all sizes and makes, from daggers and swords to machine guns and cannons. At the far end where Ciel and Sebastian stood, there appeared to be an indoor shooting range.

"Welcome to the armory," Bard's voice called from across the room. A wide grin spread across his face, his signature cigarette resting in the corner of his mouth, as he and Mey-Rin approached me.

"Do you like it?" he asked with amused confidence.

"Like it?" I asked in return, finally able to pull my gaze away from the weaponry before enthusiastically adding, "I love it!"

Mey-Rin and Bard laughed at my enthusiasm while I began to walk around the room, finding myself unable to keep my attention away from the treasures that surrounded me. I paused in my walk as something caught my attention.

"Is that a…?!" I began, starstruck.

Forgetting myself, I rushed over to where a rifle sat perched as if begging me to pick it up and did so without a second thought.

"It is!" I cried, giddy with excitement as I rotated the rifle to inspect it from every possible angle, as I continued to effervescently gush, "The latest Whitworth sniper rifle! I had heard rumors that they were going to make another one, but I thought it was still in design. Oh my, look at the curvature of the wood! The grip has such a more natural feel! It's perfect!"

I looked up at Mey-Rin and Bard, clutching the rifle to my chest like a lovesick school girl would a letter from her suitor. The look of surprise on both their faces was amusing. Though, to be fair, I don't think they had never heard me say so much in one single setting and certainly not as enthusiastically.

Someone cleared their throat and I was reminded why I was here. My cheeks flushed as I turned and looked down the length of the room to where Ciel and Sebastian stood. Sebastian had covered his mouth to stifle his sniggers at my display, clearly amused. Ciel, on the other hand, stood with his arms crossed, obviously not appreciating my display of emotion.

Timidly, I placed the rifle back on the rack where it hung, whispering longingly to it, "I'll come back for you," before I followed the other two servants to the shooting range.

As we approached, I noticed a small table had been set up, the top of it littered with the gleaming pieces and parts of various firearms, along with a paper practice target the hung on the range. Was this some sort of accuracy test?

As if in response to my mental musings, Ciel stepped forward, an arrogant smile plastered on his youthful face.

"You are probably wondering why I've called you here," he paused, waiting to see how I would react, but when I remained stoically indifferent, he continued, "I had the pleasure of speaking with Lord Thomas Carson yesterday. You remember him, correct? He certainly seemed to remember you."

I was unable to hide the chagrin that soured my expression at the mention of Lord Carson. My father and I had worked a case with him back in January trying to weed out a mole within his company that was passing design information for his trains to the Germans. The mission had been successful and Lord Carson had been more than pleased with my skill as a sniper, but after having worked so closely with him for the three weeks it took to completely close the case, he had become quite besotted with me, despite the rumors. And while I could say that I did not dislike the middle aged Lord, I certainly did not care for him, either. He drank far too much and thought too little for me to take a liking to him.

Upon seeing my reaction, a satisfied smirk tugged at Ciel's lips as he crossed his arms and continued his explanation.

"While we were discussing a potential business deal, your name came up and he was more than willing to offer up what he knew about you. Had a rather glowing opinion about your marksmanship. He said you were the best sharp shooter in all of England and that you could use any firearm that was put into your hands."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mey-Rin's expression sour at Ciel's words, but he paid her no attention.

"So I thought," he wistfully said as he gestured to the table, "Why not test that? You are a Phantomhive servant, after all. And though I have heard many things about your skills, I have not witnessed them for myself."

At this word, Ciel stepped back, allowing Sebastian to take his place. Sebastian motioned towards the table in a sweeping and grand fashion.

"On the table you will find the parts for three different handguns. In order to pass my master's test, you must assemble all three and shoot the perimeter of the target so that the middle is removed from the rest of the paper. You must do so in a minute and a half."

"What?!" Mey-Rin exclaimed in disbelief, as I advanced toward the table, my steps sure and steady.

"That's impossible!" Bard sputtered before swearing softly as his cigarette fell from his lips.

Ciel chuckled in response, his gaze challenging as he looked toward me.

"Not if she's as good as the reports say."

I returned his challenge with a confident smirk as I wordlessly accepted and turned back to the table.

"Very well, then," Sebastian stated, pulling his pocket watch from his vest.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes momentarily, effectively clearing all other thoughts from my mind than the task at hand. **Focus.**

My eyes snapped open as I heard the click of his pocket watch being opened.

"On my mark," I heard him say, pausing only a second before he announced, "Begin!"

My hands worked at a dizzying speed, the sound of metal sliding and springs crunching as I began assembling the weapons as quickly as I could. Though the pressure of the task pressed me to haste, there was an inner tranquility that I had not felt for weeks. I was proficient at executing my duties as a maid, but this was what I had been trained for. The feel of the cold metal beneath my fingers and the slickness of the grease was as natural as the feeling of piano keys to a composer or a brush in the hands of an artist. This was where I found my center. This was home.

My focus was so intense that the gasps of awe from Bard and Mey-Rin as I finished assembling the last handgun were barely audible to me. Without hesitating, I took the first gun in my hands and began firing rapidly around the perimeter of the target as instructed. Flashes of light and the reverberating crashes of gunfire echoed throughout the armory. A faint smile graced my lips as the harsh smell of gunpowder pleasantly burnt my nose. If only my younger self could see me now.

"No, PaPa!" I had objected, trying to wriggle myself free from where I stood pinned between my father and the rifle that was being forcibly being held against my shoulder.

"Yes, Sarah!" he growled.

"But I can't!"

"You _can_ and you _will_ ," he insisted before gruffly positioning my hands on the large weapon.

I stood, trembling, as he corrected my posture. This was the second time he had tried to teach me to shoot. Our first session had ended after I had fired only two shots because the noise and the power had frightened me so much that I refused to continue.

"Now listen to me, Sarah," my father said in my ear, lowering his tone as he adjusted the sight on the rifle, "Do you remember what you told me when I brought you back from Italy? You said you didn't want to be weak anymore."

I narrowed my eyes at his mockery. How dare he use my words against me!

"Have you changed your mind?"

I clenched my hands, grinding my teeth to keep my voice from wavering as I whispered, almost inaudibly, "No, sir."

"What was that?" he leered, "I couldn't hear you."

"No, sir!"

"Good!" he yelled, raising his voice to match mine. As he began to pace around me, he continued, "Then you will learn how to shoot. You will do this all day, every day until you get it right. Shooting a gun should be as effortless as breathing. And don't forget, this is just the beginning."

That was the moment when Lady Sarah Wakefield, Silencer of the Queen was born. True to his word, he had me rise every day at six and would not let me finish until sometime between ten and eleven. Training with my father was a grueling endeavor and he was not the most patient teacher.

A month later he had taken me on a mission with him, despite my pleas that I was not ready. My father had always been a believer that experience was the best teacher. I had been correct in warning him that I was not prepared for the field, though. When we were in the most crucial moments of the heist, an unexpected wave of assailants attacked us and forced us apart. I had managed to hold my own against some of them, but as I was reloading, a man approached me from the side and rushed in. I almost died because I faltered under the pressure of the moment. Perhaps my father had been correct in allowing experience to tutor me that night. I never allowed that to happen again, but I also never forgot that it was my father who had put me to the test.

I smiled with satisfaction as the air tensed with held expectation as I finished firing the last pistol. Even from this distance, I could tell I had done a nearly perfect job at tracing around the target, the center held on by a mere sliver of paper. It was then that I turned to Ciel, who, once again, wore a smug smile at his perceived victory.

"It appears that you have not completed the task I set before you. How disappoint-…,"

His mockery was cut off as I raised my right arm and, without bothering to look, fired the last round I had intentionally saved for this toward the target, knowing even without being able to see that it would not miss its mark. It was a dramatic display, but I enjoyed getting the chance to show off what I was really capable of…and I may have relished a bit in silencing the supercilious child as well.

"You were saying, my lord?"

I watched in delight as his gaze widened, his jaw tensing, confirming what I had already known. Beside him, Sebastian stood, his eyebrows raised in surprise before he turned and gave me a nod of approval. If the smile that was painted on his face meant anything, he was clearly impressed. That was perhaps the most satisfying thing of all.

"Time," he called, closing his pocket watch.

Behind me I heard Mey-Rin gasp and Bard mumble an awe inspired, "Blimey." I turned just in time to have them both rush up to me, Mey-Rin grabbing my hands in adoration, her glasses gleaming in the light of the room.

"That was incredible!"

"Yeah," Bard joined in over Mey-Rin as she continued to babble praises, crossing his arms after he lit a new cigarette, "The only other person I've seen do something like that is Sebastian." Then, giving Mey-Rin a swift pat on the back, he continued, "Be careful, or you might be looking for new employment soon. It looks like we've got ourselves a new sharp shooter."

Even though I knew he was merely jesting, Mey-Rin's expression darkened a little at his statement and her gushing compliments came to a sudden stop.

"Don't be daft, Bard," Ciel reproved, regaining our attention. He stood with his feet planted and arms crossed over his chest as he looked over to us, his composure and sense of authority recovered, "Mey-Rin isn't going anywhere."

Taking a few steps towards me, his presence was commanding as he raised his chin to look up at me.

"You have done well, Sarah. I believe you have proven that you are worthy of your post." he praised. Though underneath that, I saw the subtle warning in his eyes, reminding me that he still did not trust me. My display had revealed two things…that, as an ally, I would be a formidable opponent to any enemies, but conversely, as an enemy, it would be foolish to dismiss me. To do so could be deadly.

I smiled graciously at his complement, bowing my head as I curtseyed.

"Thank you, my lord."

Any conversation that might have ensued from there was cut off when, through the thick doors of the armory, Finny's panicked cries could be heard. All of the servant's gazes snapped to Sebastian, who visibly cringed at the sound.

"Do forgive me, my lord. It appears something has come up which requires my immediate attention," he apologized, acting as if we all hadn't heard Finny, "And I believe it is time for the other servants to return to their work as well."

Ciel chuckled and smirked as he looked up at the butler, clearly enjoying how disgruntled he was.

"Indeed."

/

My fingers traced the delicate patterns embroidered on the fine linen of the tablecloth, smoothing out the wrinkles. This evening, Ciel had decided he would take his dinner in the game room so I was tasked with preparing a small table to fulfill his lordship's wishes. During my initial tour, Sebastian had informed me that it was rare for him to use the dining room on a daily basis, but preferred to reserve its use for when he was entertaining. This made sense. It would be odd to have such a grandly laid table prepared for only one person.

The dining ware clinked lightly as I carefully laid the spread of various dishes, glasses, and silverware in the appropriate spaces. I measured to be doubly sure. I had not seen Sebastian since the tour of the armory earlier this afternoon and I did not want my work to be cause for more criticism. As I finished folding the napkin on the plate in a delicate rose fold, I heard the door open.

"I will be finished presently," I stated, fully expecting it to be Sebastian who was entering, but was surprised when I glanced up and saw Bard instead.

"Bard?"

The cook's gaze darted across the room nervously, before he whispered, "Sebastian's not in here, is he?"

I shook my head, "No, I thought you were him." I whispered in return, not quite knowing why I did.

Bard sighed with relief as he stepped just inside the door. I came over to him, looking up at him questioningly.

"What are you doing up here? You should be in the kitchen preparing dinner for his lordship."

He looked away from me, shamefaced, as he reached a hand back to rub his neck.

"Well, you see, that's why I came up," he began, then giving me an apologetically pleading look, added, "I need your help."

I gave him a tired half-smile, before gently placing my right hand on his shoulder to nudge the both of us out of the room.

"Alright, let's see what we can do about it then," I softly agreed.

As I passed by the cook to take the lead, I saw a grateful smile beaming on his face.

"Though we'll have to be quick about it," I warned, glancing back to make sure he was following, "We can't let Sebastian know that anything is out of sorts. I'm afraid if one more thing goes wrong today he'll kill us all."

I had meant for my last statement to be a joke, but the nervous laughter that came from Bard in response told me that he wasn't sure whether it was or not. I suppose that was why, in the short time I had actually been working as a servant, that I had become the other servant's go to problem solver. Sebastian should have been the one to handle blunders like this, but he was typically unapproachable in those circumstances and Tanaka was usually never to be found outside of meals or events where his presence was required. So the responsibility fell to me, as I seemed to be the only other level headed servant in the house.

We both made our way to the kitchen with as much haste and stealth as we could manage. Upon entering the kitchen, I realized that Bard not only needed my help with dinner, but he needed me to make it as well.

"I forgot to marinate the steak the young master was to have for dinner, so I don't know where to begin. Usually Sebastian would be able to tell me what to do, but…," he trailed off, but I understood what he meant.

"Well," I sighed, rolling my sleeves up to my elbows and putting my hands on my hips, "let's take a look at the pantry and go from there."

Apparently by "us" I really meant "me", as several minutes later it was I who returned from my solitary quest with a roast, potatoes, carrots, and a handful of spices.

"This should make a satisfactory dinner," I announced as I set the ingredients on the preparation table, relieved to see that while I had been in the pantry Bard had lit the oven and set out a cutting board and several bowls.

As Bard surveyed the array, he gave an approving nod, "Thanks again. You're a real life saver."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," I teased with a grin as I went over to the sink, "Lord Ciel has yet to be served dinner, so this plan is not yet complete."

Bard chuckled, the corners of his eyes creasing from the genuine smile that lit his face and made his blue eyes sparkle, as he playfully nudged me before he began to wash his hands.

"I do s'pose it's best to not count your chickens before they hatch."

"Yes, I suppose not," I agreed, unable to stop the smile that spread on my own face as I looked up at him.

A tender warmth swelled in my chest at his familiarity. Other than Angelina, it had been years since someone had treated me with such gentle amiability. My heart ached, bittersweet as the nagging reminder echoed in my mind that he most likely had not heard the rumors of my past. Once he did, Bard would probably become like countless others who spurned me after he heard what was being circulated as truth.

My smile faltered at that thought and I returned to the task at hand, washing the carrots before I peeled and sliced them. We worked in contented silence for several minutes until the clock chimed, indicating the time was now four thirty.

"Oh, no," Bard mumbled, dread clear in his voice.

"Now, Bard," I soothed, cutting the potatoes into large chunks, "I am almost done with the vegetables. The roast has been seasoned, so all that needs to be done is for it to be broiled for a half an hour, which is perfect timing."

I glanced up from my work to see that Bard stood staring, a panicked look on his face, at the clock. Apparently my words had fallen on deaf ears. Then, clenching his fists, he let out a yell of exasperation.

"No, no, no. This is not good at all," he mumbled frantically, scooping the vegetables into the roaster along with the roast, "Sebastian will be here any moment and he will wonder why dinner is not in the oven."

"Bard…-," I started as he opened the oven door and sat the roaster on it.

His eyes lit with excitement that could only be explained by his mind conjuring a delusional epiphany.

"I know what will speed things up."

The sense of foreboding that sat uncomfortably in my stomach warned me that no good could come of this. For a brief moment, he rummaged about in the cabinet before pulling out a flamethrower.

"Oh god," I whispered.

As he quickly slipped on the weapon, I raised a staying hand and opened my mouth to plead with him to see reason, but it was too late. A second later, he pulled the trigger and flames roared from the nozzle. There was a thundering bang as the flames ignited some unseen explosive, the force of it throwing me backwards. I closed my eyes, bracing myself for impact. My mind whirred in confusion when no impact came. Rather, I felt that my head was being supported. The sound of Bard's coughs and the cease of the sound of crumbling stone let me know that the worst was over.

I cautiously cracked my eyes open, not knowing what destruction I might find. My body immediately tensed as I recognized the gloved hands that cradled my head. My gaze snapped up to find that I was lying on the ground, with Sebastian on top of me. His body curled protectively around my own, holding me close to shield me from the debris that had been flying a moment ago. The dust that clung to his clothes and hair gave him the appearance of a specter.

"Sebastian?" I whispered, my gaze meeting his.

"You are unharmed, correct?" he questioned. Though his voice conveyed concern, I marked the restrained rage that smoldered in his eyes.

I simply nodded, unable to find my words. At this, he rose abruptly, pulling me to my feet as he did so.

"Baldroy," he seethed toward the scorched man.

The cook forced nervously terrified grin, rubbing the back of his neck as the butler approached him.  
"Oh, hello, Sebastian. I-I can explain this."

Any pitiful explanation he could have offered was cut off as the other servants burst into what used to be the kitchen.

"What happened?" Mey-Rin asked.

"Is everyone alright?" Finny added.

Tanaka said nothing, but merely assessed the destruction with his usual impartial demeanor.

"Enough!" Sebastian roared, effectively silencing us all.

No one dared to move a muscle.

The butler's chest heaved as he worked to check his anger, "Everyone is to immediately return to their quarters until our usual dinner time."

"Sebastian, I…-," I began, extending my hand to comfort as I stepped forward to offer my assistance when he cut me off.

"Everyone," he seethed through clenched teeth.

I recoiled as if he had physically struck me, pain evident in my gaze.

"C'mon, Sarah," Bard comfortingly mumbled, wrapping his arm around my shoulder as he led me out of the kitchen along with the other servants.

I glanced over my shoulder to see Sebastian glaring daggers at Bard and I before he turned on his heal and disappeared from sight.

For the next several hours, I attempted to keep myself occupied by reading or sketching, to no avail. No matter how I tried to occupy my mind, I would eventually find myself musing over how sharply Sebastian had spoken to me. My jaw would tense and my nostrils would flare as, chest heaving, I would have to use every ounce of my self control to keep myself from marching downstairs to give him a piece of my mind.

Dinner did not help matters, either. At nine o'clock, I had expected Sebastian to come for us, but he did not. So, at five after, I went about to the other's rooms and we cautiously proceeded to the servant's hall where we found our dinner prepared and ready to eat, but no Sebastian. The mood of the meal was heavy as well. Once or twice Bard had ventured to start conversation to distract us, but it feebly died a moment or two after he started. No one was in the mood for laughter tonight.

One by one, the servants left the table as they finished their meal, a quiet "Good night" the only farewell of the night. I shook my head, breaking the hypnotic hold the dancing flames in the hearth had on me, to realize I was alone. With a heavy sigh, I rose, clearing the table and carrying the dirty dinnerware to the scullery as I did every night. As I began washing, my mind began to recount the events of the day, the sloshing of the water fading into the background. I thought of my nightgown that hung in the washing room, hopefully dry despite how soaked it had become this morning.

Pausing in my work, I looked down at my gloved hands, rubbing my fingers together as my heart sunk with guilt. Even though Sebastian should not have lashed out at us in his anger, I had been just as wrong in being furious with him. As difficult of a day it had been for us, it had been all the more difficult for him since he was the one who had to remedy almost all of the disasters that had occurred today, in addition to his normal duties. I had judged him too harshly.

As I dried the dishes and placed them in the storage cupboard, an idea came to me. Before I wiped down the table and counters and extinguished the lamps, I put a kettle of milk over the fire. A few minutes later, I gingerly touched the side of the kettle to verify it was warm enough. Then, I poured the contents of the kettle into a tea cup and added a small amount of honey along with a lavender sprig as garnish. A satisfied smile teased my lips as I admired my work and sat the teacup on its platter partner. This would, hopefully, be a suitable olive branch.

Bard had warned me that if Sebastian was ever in his office with the door closed, to never disturb him save for a life threatening emergency. I reminded myself of this as I found myself standing in front of said door. I knew it was a risk, especially after how the day had transpired, but I would have felt a coward if I did not at least try. Not giving myself another moment to reconsider, I softly rapped my knuckles against the door.

"Yes?" Sebastian's exasperated voice answered.

I leaned against the doorframe, adjusting the platter in my hands.

"It is Sarah, sir. May I come in?"

Moments ticked by in silence, until finally he gave a defeated, "Yes."

I opened the door to the butler's office. It was a modest room with a small fireplace on the far wall. In the middle of the room sat Sebastian's desk and behind it was the wine cellar, where the wine was kept under lock and key. The wall adjacent to that was home to two bookshelves, in which all of the ledgers for the mansion's expenses were kept.

"What is it that you need?" he asked, eyeing me cautiously as I closed the door behind me, "Is there something else that requires my attention?"

"Not at all," I softly answered as I approached his desk where he currently remained seated, "I only wanted to bring you this."

Sebastian's brows furrowed as he stared, bewildered, at the steaming cup I had placed on his desk.

"I heard it is good for frazzled nerves," I added quietly, a sheepish grin lighting my face.

He continued to stare at the honeyed milk as if it were an alien object he had never seen before. Then, blinking, he looked up at me, his expression still puzzled.

"Why did you bring this to me?"

I deadpanned at his question. I thought it had been obvious why I had brought it, but, seeing as the usually composed butler seemed genuinely perplexed, I ventured to explain.

"Well, today has been a taxing day for all of us, especially you. And, this evening when Bard blew up the kitchen you were so out of sorts and then when you were not present at dinner…I just thought you could use it. I know it has helped me when you have made it for me in the past."

His eyebrow quirked questioningly at my explanation, still obviously confused.

"So you made this for me because you thought it would comfort me?"

"Of course," I huffed, slightly annoyed. I couldn't conceive how he didn't understand this.

"But why?" he pressed.

"Because," I paused, suddenly feeling uncomfortable about what I was about to confess, "Because you're my friend…and friends comfort each other."

If Sebastian had looked confounded before, he looked so utterly shocked at my words that I thought he might fall from his chair.

"Friend?"

A warm smile answered his strangely innocent question.

"Yes, you're my friend," then, with a chuckle, I added, "What, have you never had a friend before?"

His face was unreadable as he replied matter-of-factly, "No."

My smile disappeared and I found myself at a loss for words in light of his admittance. Sebastian had never had a friend? Never? I thought Ciel had come to live a lonesome life, but at least he had the Midford's and Angelina and me, even though he seemed to loathe me. Sebastian had no one.

"Oh," was all I managed to say.

A reassuring smile spread across his face as he said, "Do not worry. I do not regret the life I have led. Though," he paused, his gaze intensely capturing mine, "I confess I am glad to have found a companion in someone such as you."

My cheeks flushed with a dusting of a blush at his strangely worded confession. I bit my lower lip as I tried to decide on a suitable response. When I couldn't find one, I motioned towards the forgotten teacup.

"You should drink that before it gets too cold," I mumbled awkwardly.

A knowing smirk tugged at the corner of Sebastian's mouth before he simply replied, "Yes, I should."

When he did not move to begin drinking, I nervously glanced at the clock that hung over the fireplace to see it was eleven o'clock. My fingers played with the fabric of my skirt as I returned my gaze to him.

"I should retire for the evening," I stated, anxious to remove myself from his studying gaze.

He offered no response save a slight nod of his head, before returning his attention to his work. Taking this as my cue to leave, I strode to the door, pausing as I opened it. I turned back, a warmth stirring in my heart as I watched him intensely study the pages before him. Unbeknownst to me, a ghost of a fond smile curved my lips as I stepped out of the room and made to close the door.

"Good night, Sebastian," I softly called.

At this, he looked up from his paperwork with a genuine smile.

"Good night, Sarah."


	11. New Year's Eve

**Author's Note:**

Hello, all! This chapter could not have been more fortuitously timed. I thought it was neat when I was looking at the calendar and realized hat this chapter would be posted the Friday before the new year. But that's because I'm a dork like that, lol. Moving on!

I wanted to give a warm thank you to everyone who has favorited and followed this story. An especially big THANK YOU to everyone who left a review for chapter ten: **RedFantasies, alexandriasutherland98, RuffRabbit321, nightmooncat, Akuma-Sama2002, and xxvampirebitexx**! I am so happy you are all enjoying Sarah's story. Thank you all for your support! It means so much and is an encouragement to me.

Just a little head's up before we begin…I am about to go into an extremely busy time at work, as in I will be working 12-16 hour long days for the next two weeks kind of busy. So, needless to say, because of those demands, I probably won't be able post until January 19. I hate doing that, but I at least wanted to give a heads up before I drop off the face of the earth. I promise I will be back.

Thank you all again for your continued support! Now, on to chapter eleven!

 **Chapter Eleven: New Year's Eve**

The crunching of the frozen ground beneath my feet was the only sound that broke the silence as I made my way down the hill to my father's grave. A steady breeze chilled my cheeks, tingeing my nose and cheeks with pink. Reluctantly, I pulled my hands out of the pockets of Sebastian's coat to yank Finny's scarf closer to my chin. I was impatiently waiting for Nina to return with my new clothes. As grateful as I was for everyone's generosity, I was looking forward to wearing clothes that actually fit me again. Unfortunately, when Nina had last visited she had informed me that she couldn't guarantee when she would have everything done, with the mountain of special orders for Christmas that were demanding her attention. So, it would appear that I would have to be patient and be thankful for what I did have in the meantime…a lesson that life seemed to pester me with lately.

I sighed, my breath billowing from my lips as I caught sight of the oak tree at the back of the plot. If I remembered correctly, Mister Albert had said my father's grave lay directly beside it. I did not want to be here. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Tanaka. He had come into the washing room the other day after I had burnt my hand on the iron and found me crying. Incorrectly assuming mourning my father was the cause of my grief he had attempted to comfort me and would not let me be until I promised I would visit my father's grave at least once. His kindness, though misguided, touched me so that I did not have the heart to correct him. My tears were not from mourning my father nor because of the burn, but rather because I was mourning myself and what my life had become. My heart had sunk with guilt as I listened to Tanaka's sage wisdom. I did not deserve his kindness. Rather, he should have been scolding me for being so selfish and ungrateful, though, I suppose he did not need to as I was doing a pretty good job myself.

I had accepted the steward's advice graciously and, as I had promised, I had been able to secure Sebastian's permission to leave the manor without an escort for two hours, so long as I was armed. He would not allow any more time than that, not with my attackers still at large, but I did not object. If Tanaka hadn't forced me into promising, I wouldn't have acted on his advice.

I didn't have anything to say to my father, no last words that I wished I could speak…not kind and loving words, anyway. Certainly, I had loved my father in a way, but not like a daughter would usually love a father. He had never allowed me to get close enough to know what that parental bond could be and he had hurt me too many times to foster such affections. I don't believe he did so intentionally, but neglect is its own form of pain. I suppose he had loved me, too, in his own way, but I never could be sure. It was my mother and I who had shared that special bond, but when she passed when I was eight, any natural affection died with her. My father wasn't cruel, but he wasn't tender, either. He was a man's man. He had no idea how to cope with a daughter and probably wished, more often than not, that I had been a son. If it weren't for my governess and Angelina, I am not sure what he would have done. Or me, for that matter.

But that was how I found myself standing before my father's grave. Leaves littered the still frozen dirt that marked where his coffin was buried. Some birds had left their droppings on his tombstone, but I did not make any efforts to clean them off. What was the point? I did not care and he certainly didn't, either. My gaze scanned lower on the stone to where his name appeared, Richard Alan Wakefield. The engraving on the stone was in simple, largely carved letters, not the elegant script someone of his status would have normally had. Underneath his name was the inscription "Loving husband and father".

My jaw tightened and my hands clenched as I read the phrase repeatedly. A scoffing laugh escaped my lips as angry tears pricked my eyes.

"Ha! 'Loving husband and father', you say?" I mocked, leering at the gravestone, "Would a loving father criticize his daughter for mourning her mother? Would he separate her from the ones she loved the most? Would he leave her for weeks or months on end with no word? Not even a telegraph?" I paused, hot tears spilling down my cheeks, my voice quivering with pent-up rage, "Would he treat her like she was insane after she was attacked? Tell her to just get over it and move on? Would a loving father be willing to give his daughter up to heinous men, all just to serve Her Majesty? Would he leave her powerless, penniless, with nothing to her name to fend for herself in the face of a cruel and predatory world?"

I trembled, but not from the cold as I stepped closer to his grave, as if to make sure he could hear me, even though I knew he couldn't.

"No," I said, giving answer to my questions, my voice lowered and deceptively calm as I continued, finding I could not hold back the words that issued from my dry lips, "No, he wouldn't. But that doesn't matter anymore because I have a new home. One where people respect me and ensure I am provided for. My friend, Sebastian, I have only known for two months and he has taken better care of me than you ever did. You could only dream to be half the man he is."

All the pain I had repressed throughout the years came bubbling up from within, fueling my fury. I crouched next to his tombstone, my lip quivering as my words twisted, bitter and vengeful, "So you can take all of your lies and lectures and broken promises you used to try to control me…to make yourself irreplaceable. I never needed them. You tried to claim responsibility for my success. But it wasn't you. You didn't give me the strength to make me into who I am today. _I_ did that. I made my own way. So I will do it again. I will make my own way out of the mess you left behind, you son of a bitch. I never needed you."

My breath came out in billowing huffs against the east wind, my chest heaving as I finished. I remained crouched next to his grave, planted in surprise at myself for what I had just spoken. Though I realized, taking a deep breath, I did not feel any remorse for my words. Not because no one had heard, but rather because they were true.

My ears perked as they caught the sound of someone approaching from behind.

"My, that was quite a speech for someone who is dead," a deep voice said.

I sprung up, reaching underneath my skirt to draw a gun from one of my leg holsters and turned, aiming to kill if I must.

"Vicar Rathbone?" I asked in surprise, lowering my weapon as I recognized the elderly pastor.

It had been four years since I had seen the vicar, but, from what I could tell, he had not changed much in that time. He had a few more wrinkles and a little less hair than he used to, but he still carried himself with the same warmly inviting manner I remembered.

"Sorry for startling you," he kindly apologized, not seemed fazed in the least by the fact that I had pulled a gun on him, "I was tending to things about the grounds of the church and I saw you walking down the hill, so I thought I would come to say hello."

I proffered an appreciative smile as I discreetly slid my gun back into its holster. My nose twitched as I sniffed, trying to stop my nose from running. A gentle smile spread across his wrinkled face as he gestured to the small house that sat several meters behind the church at the top of the hill.

"Why don't you come up to my house for a moment? You can warm yourself by the fire and wash your face, if you would like."

I took out the pocket watch Sebastian had lent me, checking the time as I considered the vicar's offer before placing it back in the pocket of the coat.

"That sounds delightful," I answered, my smile mirroring his as I took the arm he had offered, "Though, I cannot stay for long. I am needed back at the Phantomhive manor in an hour."

His brows rose in surprise at hearing the Phantomhive name, "You are staying with Earl Phantomhive? I thought I would never see the day. Not with the nasty business between Lord Phantomhive and your father."

"Well, I'm not staying at the Phantomhive manor as a guest," I gently corrected, "I am employed there as a maid."

"A maid, you say?" he questioned, if possible, seeming more surprised than he did a moment ago, "I was wondering why you were dressed so queer. Now this is a story I must hear."

I chuckled, unable to keep the grin that teased my lips at his enthusiasm, before beginning to tell him how I came to be employed by Ciel. As we ascended the steep hill, I told him of how Angelina and Sebastian had treated my wounds and helped me recover and of all I had learned since I began working. He chortled as I recounted some of the unfortunate accidents that had occurred at the hands of the other servants.

"Oh my," he wheezed, wiping an amused tear from his eye as we stepped into his humble lodgings, "It's a wonder you get any work done with those three about."

"Indeed," I agreed, humor apparent in my voice.

The vicar stomped his feet and blew on his hands as if to shake the cold from his aged bones before going over to the fireplace and adding a few logs to stoke the flames. I removed Sebastian's gloves, tucking them under my arm as rubbed my hands together. I didn't bother shedding the coat or scarf. I would not be staying long enough.

I watched was he went over to his water basin and poured some water from a nearby pitcher into it. Taking a thin cloth in his stubby hands, he dipped it into the basin a few times. As he wrung the cloth, the water droplets fell into the basin, making a pleasant tinkling sound.

"Here," he said, extending the cloth to me, "Take a seat and wash your face. You will feel better."

I thanked him with a soft voice before doing as I was told, choosing a wooden chair which sat close to the hearth. My skin pricked as it dried from where I ran the cool cloth over my face. He was right, though. I did feel much better now that my face was clean again.

"Now, about this business with your father, would you like to tell me more about that?" he prodded, pulling a chair to sit across from me. His brown, grandfatherly eyes held nothing but warmth and genuine compassion as he waited for me to speak.

I averted my gaze, turning to stare at the fire as I replied, "I don't know that there is more to tell than what you heard earlier."

"Surely there must be more," he insisted.

The corner of my mouth twitched with a half hearted smile before I turned back to him.

"I'm afraid there's not. My father was a great many things, good things, even. He was dedicated and loyal, but not to me. The Crown was his one true wife and daughter," I paused, looking down at my lap where I laced and unlaced my fingers, "I remember my mother once telling me that my father was married to his work. I had never imagined how acutely I would come to know the truth of those words."

A sympathetic smile was waiting on his face when I finally looked up at him.

"I'm sure your father was doing what he thought was best."

I stared at him incredulously.

"If you knew half of the things he had done, you would not be able to say that."

"Perhaps," he agreed, for the sake of my argument, the sympathy never wavering from his gaze, "But your words are laced with bitterness and pain. I can tell that, deep down, you are hurting, Sarah. You have been wounded beyond belief. I would advise that you seek the road of forgiveness. It is the only way you will truly heal. Until you learn to forgive your father and others who have harmed you in the past, you will never be able to move forward."

At these words, I took out the pocket watch again, anxious to be leaving. I had come to the vicar's house to warm myself and to share in some amiable conversation, not be preached at.

"I will consider your advice, pastor," I replied, snapping the pocket watch closed and putting it away before sliding my hands back into the oversized gloves, "But I must be going. Mr. Michaelis will have my head if I am not back on time."

Turning my back to him, I placed the cloth on the chair and made my way to the door, turning to say my final farewells to find that the elderly man had followed me.

"It was good to catch up with you," he said with genuine kindness.

"I agree."

"You should come by the chapel sometime. I would enjoy spending more time with you."

I forced a thankful smile as I falsely agreed, "That sounds like a capital idea."

I did not have the time nor desire to enter into the theological discussion as to why I wouldn't be returning to his parish for worship. To put it simply, I believe God and I gave up on each other a long time ago. As I opened the door and made to take my leave, the vicar called my attention back to him as he took my hands in his.

"I don't know when I will be seeing you again, so I will give you my wishes for a blessed and happy new year. I do hope that it holds better things for you than this year did." His voice quivered and looking carefully, I noticed the tears that had welled in his eyes.

My heart swelled from his compassion and I patted his hands gently, whispering hopefully, "As do I."

With that I stepped out from the comfort of Vicar Rathbone's house into the frigid winter wind. The sky was starting to glow with the first hints of sunset. I would need to keep a brisk pace if I wanted to make it back by nightfall. I set off down the hill to the winding path that would eventually lead to the main road.

Perhaps Tanaka had been right in saying that I needed to visit my father. I am sure my visit had not been therapeutic in the way he had intended, but I couldn't help but feel that my heart was a little lighter at having released the burden of those thoughts. My mind dwelled on this for some time until the familiar crunch of a gravel drive interrupted my thoughts.

Pausing as I looked up, I saw where the Phantomhive manor sat at the crest of the hill. Several windows were lit with the glowing light from candles and fires and I knew somewhere inside Tanaka was sitting, drinking his favorite tea and Sebastian was probably bringing Ciel a dessert of confectionary perfection. To be sure, at least one, if not all three of the other servants had found some sort of accidental mischief. An uncontrollably joyous smile spread across my face and I quickened my pace, making my way up the drive with haste. I was anxious return, to be surrounded by the warmth and felicity that I had not felt in some time. Even though two months did not seem like a long time, I had not lied when I was ranting at my father's grave. This was my home.

I squinted as the servant's door was opened, flooding the back grounds in golden light.

"Oh, Sarah! I'm so glad you're back, yes I am," Mey-Rin's nasally voice called to me and, before my eyes could adjust, she grabbed my hand and pulled me inside.

I blinked fast several times until I grew accustomed to the light as she drug me down to the servant's hall.

"Sarah, you're back!" Finny cheered as we entered.

He sat at the table along with Tanaka, who, as expected, was contentedly sipping a cup of tea. Scattered across the top of the table were a wide assortment of ribbons, streamers, bells, and other various decorations. Finny excitedly grabbed fistfuls of ribbon before gesturing them toward me so I could get a better look.

"Would you like to help me put these up? Sebastian said I could decorate this year!" he beamed, his whole face alight with innocent jubilee.

From beside me Mey-Rin huffed and put her hands on her hips.

"Now, Finny, Sebastian said we couldn't decorate until after dinner. Besides, we have too much to do to decorate just yet," she scolded.

My head whipped as I turned to look at the other maid in surprise. Had I just heard correctly? _Mey-Rin_ said we were too busy to placate Finny's desire to decorate for the New Year?

"I thought everything was in order for the day," I stated, though uncertainly. Perhaps something had arisen while I was gone.

Mey-Rin shot me an incredulous look that could have rivaled Sebastian, if it were not for her spectacles.

"Not for New Year's, it isn't," she began, whipping a list from her pocket and extending it toward me, placing the paper as close to my face as she would have needed it to be, "See how long it is? And we only have three hours before dinner!"

I took the paper from her and scanned over the list of to-do's she was convinced needed to be completed for tonight's celebrations. I deadpanned, resisting the urge to cover my face with my hands as I realized that all of these tasks didn't _have_ to be done. It was Mey-Rin's overly active sense of superstition that drove them.

"Mey-Rin, I don't think…-," I started to say, but was cut off when she resolutely pointed to the list.

"Cleaning the hearths has to be done. 'Tis bad luck if you don't."

I sighed softly, before conceding, "Fine. I'll do it."

A look of elation lit Mey-Rin's face as she clasped her hands.

"You will?" then added as she squeezed me in a bone crushing hug, "Thank you!"

"No problem," I wheezed, prying her off of me. Then, turning back to Finny who still sat with the ribbons in his hand as if he were hopeful we would extend an exception just this once, added, "Now, Finny, if Sebastian said to wait until after dinner, we shall have to do just that."

His expression deflated faster than a balloon as he slumped, letting his hands drop to his lap in defeat. I walked over to the young servant and crouched beside him, placing a comforting hand over his own.

"I know you wanted to go ahead and get them up, but how about we do this instead," I suggested in a gentle tone. Finny's emerald gaze tentatively looked at me as I continued, "How about you clean up the decorations for now, but later I promise to help you?"

He perked up at my words, another bright smile beaming on his youthful face.

"Alright."

Without any more encouragement needed from me, Finny set into a flurry of activity as he began to clean up the table.

"I'll start on the New Year's cake," Mey-Rin announced and scurried to the kitchen.

I rose to stand with an amused smile as I looked over to the house steward.

"Well, I suppose I better get started then."

Tanaka smiled in return, lifting his cup and giving an approving, "Ho, ho, ho." before I gathered what I needed and headed to tend to the hearths.

/

I sighed heavily as I set the last of the grates back into place. Allowing myself a moment to rest, I sat beside the fireplace, wiping away the sweat that was running down my cheek. When I had agreed to take care of the hearths, I had forgotten just how many fireplaces there were in the manor. Fortunately, I thought, glancing at the clock in the parlor to see it was eight thirty-five, I had just finished the last one. It had taken me almost three hours and five trips to dump the ashes, but all of the hearths looked tidy and well-kept as they should.

With a grunt, I rose and, picking up the supplies, walked into the ballroom with the intention of returning the supplies to the wash room before cleaning up and heading to dinner.

"Well, well, I never thought I'd see this. Sarah Wakefield, the maid."

The voice that spoke made me halt in my path. I would recognize that condescending voice anywhere. Turning to where the voice had come from I saw Charles Grey and Charles Phipps, commonly known as the Double Charles, descending the grand staircase. Even without the taunting smirk that was plastered to Grey's face, I knew it had been him who had spoken. Though I had once been friends with Phipps, the same could not be said of Grey. I had never liked him, not even when the Midfords would take me to the fencing academy and I would train with the Double Charles'. Almost forgetting my manners, I hastily sat my supplies down and removed my soiled gloves, stuffing them in my pockets before quickly curtseying to Her Majesty's duo butlers.

"Good evening, my lords," I formally replied, "You two are an unexpected sight."

"As are you," Grey said as he and Phipps came to stand before me. He crossed his arms and cocked his hip, taking the arrogant stance he always did before he made a cutting remark.

"I thought the Phantomhive's had written you off for good. Apparently I was wrong. How is it you managed to secure a place here? The Earl is too young to be tempted by someone like you." he taunted, then, taking a menacing step towards me, added, "So what was it then? Did the butler tell you that the only way you could stay was if you bent over for him? Or did you offer yourself up willingly?"

My jaw clenched as his words struck home. I had forgotten how willing Grey had been to jump on the rumors that had been spread about Italy.

"That is enough," Phipp's deep voice commanded, "That is no way to speak to a lady."

Grey shot Phipps a sharp look, but held his tongue.

"Quite right, Phipps," I purred in approval. A smirk of my own tugged at the corner of my mouth as my gaze rested on Grey, "I'm afraid dear Grey has forgotten how to hold his tongue. Or need I remind you, Lord Grey, that I know who _you_ bend over for?"

My gaze flitted over to Phipps, who remained stoically indifferent as always, despite my implication. Phipps and Grey were lovers. I had discovered this last year when my father and I were returning from a mission for which the Queen had wanted an in person report. After I had given the report of my discoveries during the mission, I had been dismissed from her presence while my father and Her Majesty continued to discuss matters. After a few minutes I had grown bored and took to wandering the halls of Buckingham Palace and soon found myself lost. I had decided to make the most of my time and began investigating some of the unlocked rooms, one in which I had found Grey and Phipps in bed together. To this day I can't be quite sure which shocked me more, the fact that they were having relations or that Grey, despite seeming so fiery and commanding to the public, seemed to be more than happy to be the submissive party. To be honest, I did not care what they did behind closed doors, but I knew that society and Her Majesty would and found that this knowledge could be used to my advantage when needed. Despite my amiable feelings towards Phipps, I enjoyed using this against Grey in situations like this. Nothing could silence him more quickly than that.

Grey narrowed his silver eyes at me and opened his mouth to shoot off another remark, when we were interrupted as Sebastian appeared at the top of the stairs.

"My lords, you are still here? Should I have rooms prepared for you to stay the night?" He asked, descending the stairs and sauntering over to join us.

"No," Grey spat, shooting me another glowering look, "I wouldn't want to stay in this wretched place any longer than I have to."

With that, he stormed to the door, turning back only when he realized Phipps hadn't followed. He crossed his arms, his expression souring. Phipps seemed unfazed by his partner's impatience, but rather stepped towards me.

"Her Majesty sends her best wishes for a happy new year and wants to express her happiness over hearing of your swift recovery. She looks forward to hearing news of your progress in the future."

I smiled appreciatively, though I was curious as to what she had meant by my progress.

"Please tell her Excellency I am grateful for her kindness and that I wish her good health and success in the coming year."

Phipps nodded his head and said no more, but joined Grey at the door. Both of them left, but not before Grey shot me a final look that let me know he wasn't finished with our argument. I chose to ignore the silent threat for now, rather choosing to turn back to where Sebastian stood wearing a proud smile.

"What?" I asked with playful curiosity, trying as best I could to repress the satisfied smile that begged to be shown, as I picked up the supplies and joined him as we walked to the servant's door.

"That was quite the conversation you were having with Lord Grey," he teased, glancing down at me from the corner of his eye.

"Oh."

My smile fell from my face and trepidation began to tighten my stomach. I was sure he was going to punish me for being so forward. It was not a maid's place to do so.

However, in place of a reprove, Sebastian chuckled. The pleasant sound of his amusement echoed off the walls as we descended the narrow stairway.

"There's no need to be frightened. I was only going to say well done. You handled yourself quite well. I have never seen Lord Grey forced to silence before…it was most satisfying."

"That it is," I chuckled as well.

"Now," he began as we entered the hall, turning and extending his hands to me, "you can give me those and I will see to it that they are put away. You should clean up before you come to dinner."

I nodded in acquiescence, obediently handing over the pail and other supplies. I started to turn to dart to my quarters to change when I caught a strange scent on the air. Sebastian's shoulders stiffened when I looked at him, obviously having smelled it as well. We both turned to look to where the smell seemed to be coming from.

"Is that?" I began but was cut off when a mournful shriek sounded from the kitchen.

"Oh no! It's ruined!" I heard Mey-Rin bemoan.

"I'm sorry. How was I supposed to…-," Bard started in defense, but was silenced as Mey-Rin began to rant about how important the cake had been.

As a full blown argument began to ensue, Sebastian and I turned to look at each other, looks of exasperation mirrored on our faces.

"On second thought, you should be fine tidying up down here," Sebastian sighed.

"I agree," I said with a nod, then with a quick glance down the hall, I offered, "I will go make sure those two don't kill each other."

A look of pure relief washed over the butler's face.

"That would be most appreciated. I believe if I tried to mediate between the two of them, they would both end up dead."

A humorless laugh escaped my lips as we parted ways. I quickened my pace as I heard the sound of crashing pots and pans. I rolled up my sleeves, fully expecting to have to pry the two apart to keep one from inflicting harm on the other. As I stepped into the kitchen, I halted, flabbergasted by the sight before me. Instead of being locked together in a death match, they were intertwined in a much different way. Bard was leaning over where he had laid her on the table and she had wrapped her legs around his waist. Well that had changed quickly. Neither one had noticed my entrance, as their lips were passionately locked.

I cleared my throat, trying to discreetly interrupt. It was to no effect, as instead of ceasing, Bard broke their kiss and began to slowly kiss along Mey-Rin's jaw to her neck, his hands trailing up her legs, pushing her skirt up as he did so. Mey-Rin's back arched slightly in response to his ministrations, soft pleasured whimpers escaping her parted lips. Heat began to rise within me as I silently watched the two, my mind curiously recreating the scene where, instead of the cook and the maid before me, it was myself and…-

"Stop!" I cried out to myself, startling the two before me.

All three of us remained still, all stunned by my outburst. Now that we were all shocked from our own hazes of pleasure, deep blushes of shame flushed our cheeks and necks. No one said a word for what seemed like ages.

Unable to bear the silence anymore, I spoke, my voice shaky at first, "I…I suggest you two make yourselves presentable. Dinner will be in five minutes."

With that, I scurried out of the room and rushed as quickly as I could to the scullery, afraid that if I stayed a moment longer they would know what my secret fantasy had been. I hurriedly pumped some water into the sink, cupping my hands together and splashing the ice cold water against my face without hesitation. I gasped, my heart racing from the shock of the frigid water. Bracing myself against the sink with my hands, I stared at my reflection, water trickling down my face to drip into the water below.

"You cannot forget yourself, Sarah Wakefield," I warned my mirror image.

Though it wasn't completely perfect, I had found myself in an advantageous situation where I was protected and could live comfortably. I would not allow myself to give it up for a momentary flare of passion. Far too many foolish women had given up the safety and security given to them for a momentary satiation of their carnal desires. **I would not** , I told myself, **find myself among their number**. I closed my eyes, rolling my head back and groaning softly, a flash of the fantasy from a few moments ago rousing the desire within me once more. My grip tightened on the edge of the sink and I bit my lip as I became acutely aware of the aching need between my legs. **No matter how difficult it would be.**

"Sarah?" Finny's voice shocked me out of my thoughts.

I whipped around to face the blond gardener who had peeked his head into the room, attempting to appear as normal as possible.

"Yes, Finny?"

"Are you coming to dinner? Everything's ready."

I mustered a reassuring smile as I replied, "Yes, I will be there presently."

"Ok, I'll tell Sebastian," Finny said with a smile before disappearing from sight.

Now out of time to compose myself, I quickly wiped my face with a cloth before hurrying to the servant's hall where I found everyone already seated. Sebastian cast me a questioning gaze, his eyes scanning over my body as if he was attempting to find the reason I was uncharacteristically late. I gave a sheepish half grin as I took my seat by his right side from where he sat at the head of the table, next to Tanaka. I couldn't bear to look him in the eye, fearing his piercing gaze would leave all my inner thoughts naked and exposed before him.

Once dinner started, I sighed inwardly as I was finally able to fully regain my composure. The normal chatter ensued, though it was slightly more animated than usual, given the excitement about the New Year's Eve celebrations that would commence after dinner. I had been surprised when Sebastian had announced at breakfast this morning that Ciel had allowed a few bottles of wine to be given to him for the New Year's celebrations. Christmas had been a rather muted affair, other than the orphan's benefit. I don't think that any celebration would have been had if it were not for their visit. I had assumed that New Year's would have been the same way, but apparently the young lord was feeling generous.

I smiled, taking a drink of my water, as I listened to Mey-Rin and Finny talking animatedly about what they had planned for tonight. In reality, it wasn't that much, not compared to New Year's celebrations I had attended while I was a marchioness, but to a servant who had not known, the decorations, the wine, and the music Tanaka had promised to provide must have made it seem like the party of the century.

Their conversation came to an abrupt halt as a series of succinct knocks came from the servant's door. We all tensed and looked to Sebastian for direction, our postures becoming defensive as the knocks continued. His brows furrowed as he rose without a word and went to investigate. Not wanting to leave him without back up, I followed behind, stretching my fingers to resist the urge to pull my guns. Once we were in the hallway, he glanced back at me, looking like he was going to tell me to return to the servant's hall. Before he could voice the words, I shook my head and motioned for him to continue. He paused, but after a moment of consideration seemed to reconsider his objection and made his way to the door.

As we approached the door, he moved to the left, so I moved to the right, removing one of my guns from its holster. With a nod to me, he reached and opened the door.

"Surprise!" Angelina announced, her voice lilting in a mock sing-song as she held up a couple garment bags and entered.

"We've come to save the day!" Nina chimed, her tone and gestures mimicking Angelina's as she entered as well.

Sebastian and I deadpanned at the flamboyant duo.

"Madame Red. Ms. Hopkins, what an unexpected pleasure," Sebastian said with a bow, recovering much faster than me. Taking advantage of the moment his greeting provided, I slipped my weapon back into the holster as the two women shook off their coats.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as I took their coats, "I thought you weren't supposed to come until next week."

Angelina beamed proudly as she straightened her skirts.

"I wasn't, but I stopped by Nina's shoppe today and while I was there she mentioned she had just finished your clothes. So, I thought it would be perfect to go ahead and bring them tonight."

An excited smile lit my face as I turned to Nina.

"You did all that in ten days?"

Nina waved her hands dismissively, "My dear Sarah, I was mainly sewing uniforms. It took no time at all. Plus, it killed me knowing that every day I didn't, that you'd be wearing _those_."

I looked down at the ill fitting uniform I was wearing, stained with soot and other cleaning oils, suddenly feeling inadequately dressed.

"So," Nina began, grabbing my hand and tugging me towards her, "we're going to get you out of these rags and into something more fitting."

I glanced to Sebastian for permission, an amused half-smile tugging at my lips when I saw his look souring as he saw how closely Nina held me to her body.

"May I, Sebastian?"

He sighed, "I suppose," then adding as he reached and took the garment bags from Nina, forcing us apart as he did so, "The festivities won't be starting for another hour, so you will have plenty of time to enjoy your new wardrobe."

With that, he led the way to the servant's stairs, up to my quarters before leaving us with a brief farewell and returning to the servant's hall. The three of us entered my quarters and I busied myself with starting a fire while Nina and Angelina laid the garment bags on my bed. I rose once I had coaxed a healthy flame to life, beginning to unbutton my uniform when Angelina put up a staying hand.

"First things first, you are going to take a quick shower."

"But…-," I began to object when she cut me off by handing me a corset, a pair of knickers, and a petticoat.

"You will start your New Year's the proper way. Now, no 'buts'. Off to the shower with you. Nina and I will handle everything here."

I glanced to Nina, nervous at what sort of plan these two had concocted during the three hour trip from London they had shared, but could not find any hint of a mischievous plan in her expression. So, hesitantly obeying Angelina's orders, I left and went to the bathing room. Gladly stripping off the restrictive clothing, I stepped under the showerhead and basked in the relief that the hot water brought as it rained down on my skin. As I scrubbed my hands and arms, the streams of water were tinged with grey from all the soot and dirt that covered them. Apparently I had gotten dirtier than I had noticed.

Several minutes later, I shut the water off and began to buff my skin dry, curiously looking over to the bench where I had sat the undergarments Angelina had handed to me. I had been surprised by the number of garment bags they had carried in. Surely my uniforms had not needed that much room, I thought as I went over to the bench and picked up the corset. A gasp of happy surprise escaped my lips as I noticed the ties were on the side. She had done it!

For the first time ever, I eagerly wrapped the corset around my torso and began to lace up the side. I rushed over to the full length mirror, turning each and every way I could, observing how perfectly it fit and accentuated my figure. Giddy with excitement, I ran back to slip on the knickers and petticoat. My eyes pricked with tears of joy as I spun around. I had forgotten how good it felt to wear something that was tailored for oneself. Scooping up the soiled laundry, I hurried back to my chambers. If Nina had been able to do this with my undergarments, how much better would my actual clothes feel?

I initially halted when I opened the door, then slowly entered, my mouth slightly agape as I took in the sight before me. In comparison to how bare my quarters usually appeared, it looked like Angelina and Nina had transformed the little room into a clothing boutique. From the three hooks where Mey-Rin's old uniforms had hung, my new ones hung along with a richly patterned night coat and fresh nightgowns for every season. The black of the uniforms was as dark as the sky at midnight, the white of the aprons and caps so crisp I dared not touch them for fear of soiling them. That alone would have been impressive, but that was not all that Nina had brought.

Underneath where the uniforms hung, there were two pairs of shoes. The drawers of my dresser had been pulled open to reveal that one drawer was full of gloves and stockings, the other one (as the third one was filled with my sketches and scribbles) was filled with a few more corsets and what appeared to be curiously cut knickers. But that was not the greatest surprise they had in store for me. My heart swelled, my hand covering my mouth as tears pricked my eyes once more. Laying neatly on my bed was a high necked dress made of fine black satin, beside which lay a silk vest which was dyed a richly deep plum, from which were attached wide strips of the same fabric that I assumed were supposed to hang down over the skirt of the dress.

"Soooo, what do you think?" Angelina asked, walking up beside me as I reached out and ran my fingers over the tiny glass beads that were embroidered elegantly at the wrists of the sleeves and along the neck.

Overcome with emotion, I pulled her and Nina into a tight embrace.

"I never could have imagined all of this!" I cheered and kissed them both on the cheek, before whispering shakily as I pulled away, "Thank you."

Angelina smiled and I could see the tears in her eyes as she was touched by my reaction.

"Come now, let's get you ready," she prompted, patting my shoulder as she pulled out a couple of stockings from the drawer.

They both set to work, tugging, prodding, and arranging until, thirty minutes later, I was in my new dress and Angelina was doing the finishing touches on my hair. Neither of them permitted me to look at the mirror while they worked on the preparations, so I was anxious to see what they had done. Nina slapped my shoulder when I tried to sneak a peek as Angelina stepped away to look through her bag.

"Hey!" I objected, to no avail. Nina just put her hands on her hips and shot me a reproving glare.

"Not yet. We're almost done."

"Here we are," Angelina cheered, returning a moment later, "These will finish the ensemble."

I looked down as she slid something into my hand. Holding up my palm to get a better look, I gasped as I admired the diamond crested amethyst earrings that glistened in the firelight.

"They are enchanting!" I spoke in awe, but then extended my hand towards Angelina, adding, "You are too kind, but I cannot wear these. They are too grand for me."

Angelina waved a dismissive hand at me, refusing to take the jewelry back.

"Nonsense. They are perfect for you. Besides, what is a pair of earrings between friends anyway?"

A slight, but grateful grin lit my face, my heart warming as I accepted her generous gift.

"Alright," I conceded, quickly slipping the earrings on.

As soon as I did, Angelina moved to stand behind me and covered my eyes. I felt Nina place a steadying hand on my arm as the two of them guided me to, I assume, stand before my mirror.

"Ok, it is time," Angelina softly whispered in my ear before removing her hands from my eyes.

I blinked several times before I was able to accurately assess my appearance. Another shocked gasp escaped my lips before I clasped my hand over my mouth, a few tears escaping from my eyes. They had outdone themselves. I stared in astonishment at a reflection, which once might have seemed familiar, had become a distant memory for it was not Sarah Wakefield the servant who returned my gaze. The dress was elegant but, despite covering up almost all of my body, still accentuated my curves in an alluring manner. My eyes traveled along my reflection, admiring the work Angelina had done with my hair. She had pinned my hair up, but rather than having it finish with a bun like I usually would, she had taken that hair and curled it so it cascaded like a waterfall down my back to where she had draped it across my left shoulder.

Upon seeing my reaction, Angelina came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist, resting her chin on my right shoulder, a loving smile gracing her lips.

"Now that is the Sarah Wakefield I know," she said softly.

My bottom lip quivered as I smiled, fresh tears trickling down my cheeks. Nina pulled a kerchief from her pocket and handed it to me so I could wipe them away.

"Come now," Angelina soothed, rubbing my shoulders, "Now is not a time for tears."

"I'm sorry," I apologized, taking a deep breath to calm my emotions, "It's just I never expected this."

After another moment or two of breathing deeply, I shook my head and squared my shoulders.

"There. I am better now."

"And just in time, too," Nina said as she glanced at the clock, "It is time to get back downstairs."

Angelina cheered before rushing over to her bag and slipping her gloves on. Nina waited patiently by the door while I took one last glance in the mirror, relieved that my face did not show any sign that I had been crying. I firmly pinched my cheeks, satisfied with the healthy blush that came to my face as a result before joining Nina. Angelina squealed with giddy excitement as she followed in tow as we all left and began to descend the stairs to the servant's hall.

"Oh, I can't wait, Sarah! There is no way Sebastian cannot be smitten with you…not when he sees how beautiful you look!"

I shook my head, grinning with amusement at her comment. I said nothing to dissuade her enthusiasm because, somewhere deep inside, I was hoping she was right. Despite my best intentions, my attraction to Sebastian was getting the better of me. Besides, it was New Year's Eve, right? I could allow myself a little indulgence, if just for tonight.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Nina recoil in surprise and disgust.

"Mr. Stiff?! Why would you want to catch that prude's eye?"

Angelina let out a hearty laugh, shaking her head along with me.

"My dear Nina, someone like you wouldn't understand."

As we entered the hall of the lower level, the melodic tones of a violin and a piano wafted from the servant's hall, calling to us like a siren's song. Enchanted by the music, the three of us made our way to the entrance of the room, Angelina and Nina entering before me. I took a deep breath, pausing a moment, and wrung my hands as I waited just outside, suddenly nervous about entering by myself. I had done so numerous times, but that was as Sarah Wakefield, the maid who did her best to go about her work quietly and efficiently. Tonight I felt as if I was Lady Wakefield again. The dress Nina tailored for me seemed like an empresses' dress compared to what I had grown accustomed to wearing.

"Sarah Wakefield," I murmured to myself, "there is no reason for butterflies now. You may be a maid, but you are still a Lady."

With that, I stood up straighter, holding my chin high and, before I could second guess myself, stepped into the room.

Even though the servant's hall had become a common place for me, under Mey-Rin's careful supervision and Finny's enthusiastic decorating, tonight it seemed to rival any grand ballroom I had seen before. Ribbons and streamers of all sorts of colors were draped along the walls and ceiling. The room even seemed to be brighter with the extra lanterns that had been brought in. A slight smile tugged at my lips as I saw Bard pouring Nina and Angelina some wine, reclining at the table with Mey-Rin and Finny, who were engrossed in a game of bridge. Tanaka and Sebastian were tucked away in the far corner of the room, the former seated at the small piano and the latter standing close by playing the violin.

"Woah." I heard Bard whisper, cigarette falling from his mouth.

Mey-Rin and Finny looked up from their game and rushed instantly to my side, both enthusiastically grabbing my hands.

"Wow!" Finny breathed, looking up at me in pure adoration. "You look beautiful!"

"And your dress is gorgeous!" Mey-Rin chimed in.

"Thank you." I smiled, a dusting of pink tinting my cheeks at their compliments.

They continued with their praises, Angelina and Nina joining in as well, but their words faded into the background as my gaze met Sebastian's. Without pausing in his playing, I watched his eyes take me in for a moment before he returned his gaze to mine. My heart thudded in my chest as an approving smile spread on his lips, a smile of my own growing on my face. Heat rushed to my cheeks and I averted my gaze, turning my attention once more to the table where the others were now seated. Angelina shot me a knowing look, a satisfied smirk on her face as I sat down next to her.

"Not a word," I whispered, to which she dramatically feigned innocence.

"Why, Sarah, I have no idea what you are talking about."

As the music came to a temporary pause while Tanaka and Sebastian discussed what to play next, Mey-Rin perked up, looking to Bard.

"Now that everyone's here, we have enough to have a little dancing party!"

"Yeah!" Finny cheered, jumping up from his seat.

We all followed Finny's lead, Bard and Sebastian making quick work of moving the table to the opposite corner of the room to clear enough space to make a decently sized makeshift music hall. Mey-Rin and Bard paired off and Angelina jokingly took Nina in her arms, but I shuffled away as I tried to remain unnoticed by the fireplace. While I enjoyed and was skilled when it came to the art of dance, I still preferred being a wall flower. However, the sound of someone quietly clearing their throat told me I would not be a wall flower for long. I turned to where the noise had come from to see Finny standing beside me.

With a flourishing bow, he extended his hand to me, asking, "May I have the honor of this dance?"

He rose from his bow, his face beaming with contagious joy. I giggled, unable to refuse such an offer, and took his hand.

"I would be delighted, young sir."

The music started once more and soon I found myself being led by Finny in circles, going round and round in some sort of disjointed waltz. Even though I found myself dizzy and my feet sore from Finny stepping on my toes multiple times, I found I did not mind. In fact, my heart was overflowing with mirth I did not know I could feel.

For the next hour and a half, we all tirelessly danced and Sebastian and Tanaka played. Laughter filled the room as we spun and jumped and dipped, the air seeming to hum with the joy that burned in all our hearts. Even Sebastian seemed to be enjoying himself. After finishing a particularly rigorous Virginia Wheel that Bard had taught us, we paused for quick break.

Bard walked over to the table and poured us all a glass of wine.

"Fifteen minutes til midnight. That should be enough time for one more dance," he announced as he went to hand me a glass.

I shook my head.

"No thank you," I declined, "I prefer not to drink wine other than at meals."

 **At least, not in mixed company.** I thought.

Bard shrugged, but did not press the matter.

"I think we should give Tanaka and Sebastian a break from playing and let them dance," Angelina suggested, then proceeded to volunteer to play the piano.

"The violin can't be much different from fiddle," Bard said, as he followed Angelina over to where the piano sat.

The two of them leaned toward each other as they planned the last song. Bard's brow furrowed, seemingly disagreeing with Angelina's choice, but I could tell from the determined glint in her eyes that she would not be told otherwise. Taking the cue from Bard as he raised the violin to his chin, I walked back out to the makeshift music hall. I was about to ask Finny if he wanted to dance again when I heard Sebastian clear his throat behind me.

"Excuse me, but may I be so bold as to cut in?"

He smiled teasingly, extending his hand to me as if he already knew my answer.

"Yes, you may."

My heart thrilled as I placed my hand in his, his long fingers enclosing my hand before he gently tugged me towards him and placed his other hand at the small of my back. As the music began, we began to move in time with the slower, more intimate tune. I noted as he spun me away, only to pull me back to him a moment later, that there was an undercurrent of sensuality in the tune Angelina had picked. Or it may have been the desire that slowly built within me as Sebastian pressed me to himself, his gaze never leaving mine as we continued to dance about the room.

"You dance incredibly well," he smiled down at me.

"As do you. I never expected a butler to be so talented. You never cease to surprise."

"But, of course," he began, but paused as he spun me away and pulled me back again. When his hand found the small of my back, he pressed me into him with a little more force than before, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips as he continued, "I have many talents of which you do not know yet."

I blushed at what I believed he was insinuating, but decided that tonight I would not allow his teasing to be a one sided affair.

"I would enjoy learning of your other…talents. Though I am sure even I would have a few surprises hidden up my sleeve."

His brow quirked at my response, intrigued.

"Oh, really?"

"It's almost time!" Mey-Rin announced, cutting our conversation short.

The music ceased, silence engulfing the room as we stopped dancing and collectively turned to look towards the large clock that hang above the fireplace. It was approximately thirty seconds until 1888 had officially arrived. I started as a hand slipped into mine.

"Happy New Year, Sarah," Angelina said softly, leaning her head against mine as the others began to count down as there were only ten seconds left.

A contented smile tugged at my lips as I leaned my head against hers in return.

"Happy New Year, Angelina."

As the clock struck midnight, the room erupted in cheers and hollers. Before I could tell what was going on, I found myself pressed upon at every side as everyone came together in a large group embrace of sorts. Well, almost everyone. I glanced over to where Sebastian and Tanaka reservedly stood, somehow having avoided the tidal wave of affection. Sebastian could not contain the amused grin that lit his face. He quirked his brow in teasing question. I shrugged my shoulders as best I could, only offering an amusedly defeated grin in return.

"Happy New Year, Sarah!" Mey-Rin cheered, her cheeks flushed from dancing and the wine she had imbibed, before planting a wet kiss on my left cheek.

From my right, I saw Angelina approach and place a much more delicate, but still drunkenly enthusiastic kiss on my right cheek. A moment later, I heard someone squeal before I felt arms being wrapped around my waist as they hugged me from behind. The not-so-stealthy grab at my breasts told me who it was, without hearing her speak. I sighed, looking to Sebastian for help, whose expression had soured as he shot the three women a pointedly disapproving look.

Over the celebratory ruckus, Tanaka gave a high pitched whistle. The room was blanketed once more into silence.

"Thank you, Tanaka," Sebastian said with a slight nod to the house steward before returning his attention to the rest of us, "I hope you have all enjoyed your evening. But, even though the young master has allowed us to sleep in until eight tomorrow, it is time we all retired for the night."

Sighs and groans of disappointment from the others answered his instruction. Though I was relieved, as I was able to take advantage of the distraction and wriggle my way free.

Sebastian did not seem to be amused by their lack of cooperation. Clapping his hands, he silenced the group once more before sternly asserting, "Come now, there is no time for dawdling. Clean up the room and then retire to your quarters for the night."

At his command, I began to go about the room, extinguishing the lamps and removing the ribbons that hung from the walls. Not wanting to provoke further disapproval, the other servants set to work as well. It did not take long. About ten minutes later the room was tidy and had returned to its normal muted, but inviting state.

"I guess this is goodnight," I said as I walked up to Angelina and Nina, who stood off to the side as the servants began to file out.

Finny had hoisted Bard over his shoulder, who had passed out moments before from all the wine he had consumed, and carried him up to their room. Tanaka provided a steadying hand to Mey-Rin as they ascended the servant's stairs. She wasn't too drunk, but she had consumed enough that she was not steady enough to safely walk up to her room without some support. I had a sneaking suspicion that breakfast tomorrow was going to be a rather quiet affair.

"Oh, nonsense!" Angelina objected, exaggeratedly waving her hand, "We'll stay with you tonight, if you wouldn't mind."

"I suppose not…but there is not much room. It will be rather tight quarters."

"We don't mind!" Nina chimed in, a little too loudly and enthusiastically, draping her arm over my shoulder, clearly intoxicated as well.

"It will be like old times," Angelina insisted, before adding, "Besides, I am dying to get a better look at the special undergarments Nina made for you."

She paused and turned to the seamstress, "They're not knickers. They're called…-,"

"Panties!" Nina cheered before bursting into a fit of giggles.

"Excuse me, ladies," Sebastian interjected cooly, as he joined us, having extinguished the fire in the hearth, "I will see you all up to Sarah's quarters."

Without another word, he scooped Nina up, much to her objection, and folded her over his shoulder to carry her in the same fashion as Finny had carried Bard, rather than how he had gracefully carried me in the past.

"Put me down, you big boobie! This is no way to carry a lady!"

She beat her fists against Sebastian's back, squirming in an effort to free herself from the butler's grasp. Angelina and I followed behind as we scaled the stairs, clasping our hands to our mouths the entire time to stifle our laughter. Nina did not stop hurling threats and curses at him, but, to Sebastian's credit, he did not seem to be fazed by them. About half way up, Sebastian abruptly stopped and turned slightly to look back at us, his action causing Nina to bump her head against the wall. Not too forcefully, just enough to quiet her objections for a moment.

"Are you having any difficultly, ladies?" he asked to make sure Angelina wasn't having any issues carrying herself to my quarters. Angelina and I shook our heads.

Sebastian smiled, seeming overly proud of himself as Nina growled in frustration, one of her hands flying to steady her glasses, the other to rub where her head had struck the wall.

"Very well, we shall continue."

"You bastard, you did that on purpose!" Nina shrieked and commenced to shoot more insults.

Sebastian said nothing and, overall, seemed to ignore her complaints. Though, I could tell by the slight shaking of his shoulders that he was laughing to himself.

"Thank you." I said as we entered my room.

"You are quite welcome," Sebastian replied with an eerie smile before dropping Nina unceremoniously on the bed.

The latter seethed with exasperation and attempted to rise. However, in her drunken state, all she managed to do was slip off the edge of the bed and tumble to the floor. Angelina and I rushed to her side and helped her sit up.

"If there is nothing else you require," Sebastian began, drawing our attention to where he stood in the doorway, "then I shall bid you ladies a good night."

Angelina and I returned his sentiments, but Nina said nothing, rather choosing to glare daggers at his retreating figure as he made his leave and shut the door. Once we were alone, Nina huffed, straightening her glasses yet again.

"Honestly, I don't know what you see in him. Tell me why you were trying to catch his eye again?"

"I wasn't," I half lied as I went over to the mirror and began to unbutton the vest of my dress, adding as I glanced toward Angelina's reflection, "She wanted me to."

Nina shot an incredulous look at her, to which Angelina held her hands up in mock defense.

"Don't look at me! You saw them dancing together tonight. They would be perfect together."

"Being good dance partners is hardly a reliable indicator of a successful relationship," I chided as I shrugged my arms out of the sleeves of my dress and slipped it down far enough that I could step out of it.

Angelina shrugged her shoulders, reclining against the bed from where she remained seated on the floor by Nina.

"I've heard that people who dance well together are excellent partners in bed."

"Angelina!" I shouted, stumbling as I attempted to finish stepping out of my dress.

"Oh, come off it. You know you've thought about it," she retorted.

I glanced away, unable to meet her gaze as a telling blush rushed to my cheeks and down my neck.

Nina snorted, "I don't know why anyone would want to sleep with that prude."

"No," Angelina began, rolling her eyes at the seamstress, "someone like you would not understand."

I hung my dress, sighing inwardly in relief as it seemed the subject had been changed. I then tended to the fire before I joined them on the floor.

"So you wouldn't accept him even if he offered himself to you?" Angelina asked as I sat.

I sighed, "No, I wouldn't."

At least I hoped not.

When Angelina lowered her head and looked up at me with a disbelieving gaze, I continued my defense.

"Sebastian is my friend. I wouldn't want to ruin that by entangling myself with him like that. Besides, if I did, Ciel would probably use my indiscretion as a reason to be rid of me. I cannot risk that." I paused, looking down at my fingers as I intertwined them, a thought crossing my mind.

"Anyway," I mumbled, "the path of romance has been lost to me for some time now."

My heart sunk as I spoke the words. Until now I had been content with the reality that I would always be alone…but that was before I realized that I might be missing out on something. The thought had never crossed my mind until I came here, not until I met Sebastian.

"Oh, come. Don't be so down in the mouth," Angelina objected, rising defiantly to her feet, hands on her hips, "I know exactly what can cheer your spirits right now."

I looked up from my lap, my head tilting in questioning curiosity. My eyes widened as I saw she had procured a full wine bottle along with three glasses.

"Where did…?" I began, but she cut my query off with a hearty laugh.

"An old trick of the trade," she quipped, uncorking the bottle and pouring each of us a full glass, "I was surprised I was able to sneak them past Sebastian without him noticing. But, as I like to say, a smart woman's skirts should always be large enough to carry some good spirits."

I laughed in disbelief as Nina clapped her hands before accepting our respective glasses. I took a long draw of the crimson liquid, humming approvingly as the rich and hearty drink filled my mouth.

"Oh! I almost forgot," Angelina said, sitting her glass on the ledge next to my water basin, "I wanted to see those 'panties' you made."

"Of course," Nina agreed, clumsily rising to her feet to join Angelina by my dresser.

Reaching in the drawer, she pulled out one and held it up with both hands for Angelina and I to inspect. Her chest puffed out in pride, her eyes glinting frighteningly with proud ambition.

"Behold, I give you the future of undergarments!"

Angelina and I gasped in wonder at the curiosity that were panties. It was an almost triangular shaped garment that looked like it was only intended to cover the rear, if it was able to cover that completely. My interest piqued and I joined the two of them, taking another large swig of wine. In the drawer were panties of different colors, some white, some black, there were even a few that were colored in blue and red and various materials, though all incorporated lace to some degree.

"Oh, Nina," I whispered in awe as I held up one I had chosen as my favorite. It was made mostly of black silk, but had black lace as accents around the top and what I assumed were supposed to be holes for my legs, "You have outdone yourself."

"I agree! I would like you to make me some, too. My suitors would love them." Angelina said as she rifled through the undergarments.

Nina puffed out her chest some more at our glowing response.

"Here," Angelina called, pulling out a corset that was dyed the same pitch black as the panties I was holding and motioning it to me, "I want to see what it looks like."

I was about to object, but I saw the determined look in her eyes and I knew I wouldn't be able to refuse her. I took another gulp of my wine, finishing my first glass.

"Fine," I agreed, accepting the corset, "But if I'm going to, I'm going to need to drink more wine first."

Two more glasses of wine, apparently. It was an hour and three total glasses later that I found myself in the sexy ensemble of the black panties I had chosen, the black corset to match, along with black lace tipped stockings that barely rose past my knees before being secured to my garter by suspended clasps. I strutted back and forth in front of the mattress we had pulled onto the floor where Angelina and Nina sat on it, now wearing their nightgowns, clapping and cheering praises.

I had forgotten how liberating the effects of alcohol could be. Since the wine began to work on my body, I felt like I buzzed with positive energy. Joy and mirth seemed readily accessible, something I hadn't felt for years. I hadn't felt this free in some time.

"Give us your most seductive pose," Nina loudly requested.

A smirk came to my face and I turned my back to them to assess my appearance. My eyes shone with a strange light and my cheeks were lightly flushed from my tipsy state. Glancing at my hair, I decided to remove the pins that held it in place, shaking my long locks free. I cocked my hips and rested my hands on them as I looked at their reflections in the mirror.

"How's this?" I purred.

They both clapped enthusiastically at my display. Angelina nodded her head in approval.

"See? I knew you had it in you. If only Sebastian were here to see."

I opened my mouth to object when there were a series of sharp knocks at the door. I froze, unable to move as the door we had forgotten to lock opened to reveal a rather cross looking Sebastian, feeling instantly sober.

"Ladies, I hate to intrude, but you are being so loud I am surprised you have not awoken Bard," he reproved, clearly not having taken in the entirety of the scene before him.

My heart pounded in my ears as I still found my feet refused to move, my gaze wandering from his disheveled hair to where his shirt parted, unbuttoned halfway down, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Before I could move to cover myself, his gaze snapped from Angelina and Nina to me, a dark hunger growing in his eyes as they drank my body in. An irrepressible smirk quirked his lips.

"Would you care to explain to me why you are parading about in such a display of undress?"

"Um," was all I was able to stutter out before I found my feet and whipped on my night coat, wrapping it tightly about my body.

"She was modeling my fashion genius!" Nina slurred, glowering at the butler.

"Come now, Sebastian. No need to be so stern," Angelina chided, rising from the mattress and stumbling over to him. I tried to ignore the flare of jealousy that rose within me as she placed her hand on his forearm, "Why don't you join us? You clearly weren't getting any sleep. I mean," she paused, gesturing theatrically to the room, "what man would deny himself the opportunity to carouse with three beautiful women?"

My mouth dropped open at her brazen flirtation, but before I could object to defend Sebastian, he closed the door behind him.

"Indeed," was all he said.

My hands clenched as Angelina linked her arm with his, leading him toward the mattress.

"We were just about to look at some of Sarah's sketches. Would you like to see them?"

Sebastian perked up at this information.

"Yes, I would."

Angelina flopped on the mattress and patted the spot next to her. Sebastian put up a staying hand and shook his head to deny her offer.

"I will sit on the floor," he answered a moment before he did so. Then, turning to me, added, "Come sit."

As I walked over, he shifted to create some space between him and the mattress. I gladly accepted his invitation and sat next to him, shooting Angelina a disapproving look, which she promptly ignored.

"Would you like to do the honors?" she asked, picking up the large stack of unevenly sized papers. I did most of my sketches on any scrap paper I could find since I could not afford a sketch book of my own yet.

I went to take them when Sebastian reached around me and took them first.

"Allow me."

We all leaned toward him as he began to slowly flip through the pages, the paper crinkling as he did so. For ten minutes or so we watched him as he perused the different sketches, some of which were of people and objects in the manor, some of them from memories. I glanced over to my right as Angelina's weight increasingly leaned against me, a soft smile ghosting on my lips as I saw Nina leaning against her, both of them clearly asleep.

As gently as I could, I coaxed Angelina's head from my shoulder to rest on my lap. I began running my hands through her long red hair as I turned my attention back to my sketches.

"These are rather good," Sebastian complimented as he reached the last one in the stack.

"Thank you," I whispered.

Both of us looked down as Angelina let out a petite feminine snore. My lips quirked in amusement, but Sebastian did not seem to find it amusing at all. His brows furrowed in disapproval.

"How unbecoming of someone of her rank."

"Do not judge her so harshly," I defended, picking up a wine glass from nearby and swirled the contents around, "She's done more for me than you could imagine. I have her to thank for who I am today. She did not abandon me like others did."

"Others, such as your father?" he prodded.

I smiled bitterly, taking a quick sip from the glass before answering, "Yes."

"How did visiting his grave go? Were you able to voice parting words you wish you could have said before?"

I scoffed, "You could say that."

His brow quirked with curiosity, prodding me further.

"I told him he was a worthless, manipulative father and that I didn't need him…that I was with people now who respected and took care of me. And that I would make my own destiny, one that doesn't rest on his lies or the Crown."

He nodded, his expression unreadable as he replied, "It must have been a relief to give those feelings a voice."

"It was. I only wish I had been given an opportunity to say them to his face."

We sat in silence for a few minutes while I gazed down at my dearest friend, continuing to run my hands through her hair as she slumbered, her face so peaceful and devoid of the signs of her hardships. I blinked slowly as I felt the energizing effects of the wine quickly leaving, being replaced with the heavy weight of slumber.

"Pardon me if this is too forward, but it seems like your father was a cruel man," he stated.

I offered no response at first, but continued to stroke Angelina's hair, considering Sebastian's words. I could feel his gaze on me as the silence continued

"He…," I started, turning my attention from Angelina to Sebastian. His gaze captured mine as he intently waited for my response.

"He was not cruel…not in the way one normally thinks of cruelty. He did not harm me physically, but he never provided me with what I needed, not in the ways that really mattered. After my mother's death, it was the Phantomhive's and the Midford's who helped me cope with my grief, not my father. When I needed guidance as I became a young woman, it was Angelina and my governess who took me under their wing and showed me how to be a proper lady. But even for all their love and friendship, my father managed to strip that away from me as well…it was his actions that forced Lord Vincent's hand."

"You poor thing," Sebastian cooed softly, reaching his hand up to cup my face and using his thumb to wipe away the few years I had not noticed fall, "Neglect is a cruelty all its own."

My heart drummed in my chest as he did not stop his ministrations, his eyes smoldering in the firefight.

"Was it his neglect that lead to Italy?"

I started at his question, my eyes widening as my chest tightened, my heart drumming in a much different way as all the warmth from a second ago was swept away and replaced with a suffocating chill. I moved my tongue to speak, but found it was as if my mouth had been stuffed full of cotton. I hastily brought the glass to my lips, regretting the loss of his touch, and swallowed as much as I could in one gulp.

"Did I…-?" he began, but I cut him off when I raised my hand and placed a silencing finger on his lips as he had done for me on previous occasions.

"There are several rules I have if you are to remain my friend," I said, warning clear in my voice, "And the first is that we _never_ speak of Italy."

His eyes searched mine for answers as I resolutely held my finger in place, but, to my relief, he did not seem like he was going to push the matter further. Once I was confident of this, my shoulders relaxed and I began to remove my finger from his lips. I paused, surprised by how soft and alluring they were. Sebastian broke our gaze as he looked down where my hand rested, my thumb caressing his bottom lip. My gaze followed his and with each passing second, the urge to not just touch his lips with my fingers began to grow. I wanted to touch them with my lips. Without thinking, I closed my eyes and leaned in towards him, pausing only when I felt his breath flutter against my face.

A loud, abrasive snore issued from where Nina lay. I jumped, my eyes snapping open, feeling as if I had been awoken from a dream. An embarrassed heat warmed my face and neck and I turned away as I sat up straight once more, unable to look him in the eye. The snapping and popping of the logs in the fireplace was the only sound that interrupted the awkward silence that enveloped the two of us. I took another sip from my glass, hoping to calm my frazzled nerves.

"So that is why you have such a close bond with Madame Red?" Sebastian asked several minutes later, acting as if I hadn't made to kiss him.

I turned my attention to the handsome butler, who appeared to be lost in thought. My eyes traced over his features until they came to rest on his shoulders, finding myself overcome with a desire to rest my head there. I craved the intimacy we had shared when he had caressed my face and, since I had narrowly avoided kissing him, this was the next best thing. With no reason left hold me back, I gave into my desire. I felt Sebastian stiffen in response to the intimate gesture, but I did not move to correct it, nor did he.

"Yes. She never betrayed me. She was always there for me. Just like you…you were always there with everything I've been through recently. That is why I am glad Ciel has someone loyal like you to protect him," I rambled, the last part coming out in spaced out mumbles.

A moment later, I jerked, my eyes opening to see Sebastian taking the wine glass from my hand.

"Perhaps you should stop drinking," he whispered, setting the glass on the floor before adding softly, "I am not loyal to Ciel, not in the true sense of the word. I am simply fulfilling my portion of our contract."

"You're too modest," I mumbled, patting his knee, my eyes drooping closed once more, "Bard has told me of some of the things you've done for our master."

Taking in a deep breath, my resolve to stay awake washed away with the smell of his scent. I leaned my body against his, intertwining my arms around his right arm. If I had not been fading in and out of sleep, I would have sworn with certainty that I heard a low rumble come from his chest, something akin to a growl as I nuzzled my nose against the soft flesh of his throat.

"I should leave," he said quietly, shifting in an effort to free himself from my grasp.

"No, stay," I groggily objected, clutching to his arm with all the strength I could muster in my half conscious state, "Just until I fall asleep. You're too comfy…and you smell good."

He made a small noise of amusement, but ceased in his moving.

"As you wish."

How long we remained in that contented embrace, I am not sure. Most likely it was for a shorter time than it seemed, as quickly as I was descending into the darkness of slumber. That was when I entered into a disorienting dream.

The room seemed to spin as I was suspended somewhere between the two consciousness's. The soft cotton of a pillow caressed my cheek as I was laid on my side. I rolled to rest on my back, a pang of loss echoing in my chest as Sebastian's scent grew momentarily weaker. In what I believe was the dream, I struggled to crack my eyes open as I felt the pressure of some weight being placed on my hips and legs, as if something was being laid on top of me, but found I could not. Sebastian's scent grew stronger once more and a moment later, I felt something soft and warm press against my cheek. The sensation left as quickly as it had come, but the slight bit of moisture that was left behind told me I had just received a kiss.

"Sleep now, while you can," Sebastian's honeyed voice whispered huskily, his breath hot against my ear, "For, by the end of this year, you _will_ be mine."


	12. His Butler: Away

**Author's note:**

Hello, lovelies! I'm back! *mustering up best Moriarty impersonation* Did you miss me? lol

There is a lot of ground to cover before we begin, so I'll try to make it quick.

First of all, I have an exciting announcement…I am officially on Archive of Our Own! My username on there is Lonely_Stargazer, so if you'd like to take a look at my stuff over there, I would greatly appreciate the support. So far I'll just be posting this story, but hopefully I'll post more in the future after I finish this one. Secondly, I realized that this story has reached over 3.9k views! I cannot tell you how exciting that is and how encouraging it is to me that you all are taking such an interest in Sarah's story. It is truly humbling.

And I would be amiss if I didn't thank you all for being so patient for waiting while I had to take a brief pause from posting. You all were so supportive and gracious and I greatly appreciate it. Now, I would also like to thank all of those who favorited and followed this story. I hope this latest chapter does not disappoint. And a special thank you to **alexandriasutherland98, RedFantisies, nightmooncat, Akuma-Sama2002, and Misia0123** for reviewing last chapter. Your questions, comments, feedback, and theories are always appreciated.

One final note before we begin, I apologize in advance if the Italian phrase in this chapter is mistranslated. I used Google Translate, which I know is not always the most reliable. So if there are any errors, I blame Google. Now, without further ado, I give you chapter twelve. Enjoy!

 **Chapter Twelve: His Butler-Away**

The cool morning light was what roused me from my slumber. I groaned softly as tried to roll over to stretch out the soreness I felt in my lower back to find that I could not.

"Hm?" I hummed questioningly, cracking my right eye open to see Angelina lying beside me, her head resting on my stomach.

A tender smile curved my lips as I ran my hand gingerly over her tangled hair. My gaze traveled from my friend to where Nina slept on her side with her arms around Angelina's waist, her right leg draped across her hip. She let out a soft snore and I was able to see under the hair that was draped across her face, that her lips were slightly parted as she was completely relaxed in slumber. The wine from last night must have worked on her. My waking thoughts came to a screeching halt. I groaned, covering my face with my hands. **Last night…**

I squirmed uncomfortably as my mind recalled the images from last night's frivolities. I couldn't believe I had almost kissed Sebastian…and then I had the nerve to cuddle up to him and nuzzle his neck! And that was after he had seen me in my most revealing undergarments. No wonder I had dreamt that bizarre dream. There was nothing for it, I thought as I drug my hands down my face. I would have to apologize for my inappropriate behavior.

"Well," I whispered to myself as I glanced at the clock to see it read seven-thirty, "I should face him sooner rather than later."

Trying as best I could not to disturb Angelina, I carefully shifted out from underneath her, taking the pillow I had been using and placing it under her head before I carefully finished rolling off the mattress. Gooseflesh covered my arms as I slipped out of my nightgown (I had changed into it when I had risen a few hours prior, finding that the need to relieve myself was why I had awoken) folding it neatly and slipping it into the dresser drawer. Before the clock had struck eight, I had finished my morning preparations and was making my way down to the lumber room.

My nose twitched as the familiar musty scent of the wood overpowered my senses, the logs clattering together as I stacked as many as I could fit in the firewood baskets. I grunted, carrying the heavy baskets to the scullery where I would light the morning fire to boil the day's water. I made quick work of it as I felt the rhythm of my daily routine settle in. With the first of four large buckets set over the fire to simmer, I went to the cabinet to grab some more old newspapers to assist with the lighting of the fires upstairs. As I reached to grasp a sizable stack, I paused, my stomach twisting uncomfortably at the thought that I might encounter Sebastian soon. I shook my head, mentally scolding myself as I attempted to push aside my reluctance.

"Don't be ridiculous," I mumbled to myself, stuffing the newspapers where I could between the logs before grasping the baskets and making my way up the servant's stairs.

"Nothing happened…not really, anyway. You could just blame it on the wine," I continued talking to myself as I pushed the door open and entered onto the first floor, my heels clicking against the tiled floor, "Besides, he didn't stop you, did he? Maybe he wanted it, too."

I froze as soon as the words left my lips, my eyes widening as my heart involuntarily lifted with hope. I bit my lip as I tried to figure out how I truly felt about the possibility. On one hand, the thought was tantalizingly intriguing. Sebastian was handsome, intelligent, talented, and, most importantly, the first man to whom I had ever been attracted. Just the idea of him feeling the same attraction towards me was thrilling. However, my mind rebutted, a voice of reason finally taking hold before my thoughts got too carried away, such relations were forbidden between the household staff. During my contract negotiations Ciel had made it very clear he would not tolerate such fraternization. Though his wishes on that matter were not honored by all the staff, I did not want to be the one to be found in such a scandalous position. And Sebastian was my friend. I hadn't lied when I told Angelina that I did not want to spoil the newfound relationship I shared with the butler. I sighed, beginning to make my way to the morning room as I reminded myself, once again, that I could not afford to be distracted by such trivial matters. Doing so would hinder me from accomplishing my ultimate goal-to find those responsible for my attempted murder.

To my right, I heard the sound of someone descending the staircase. Anxiety knotted my insides once more as I turned, resigning myself to having to face him.

"Sebastian, I wanted to…," I paused, my cheeks flushing as I realized it was Tanaka who joined me in the ballroom, not Sebastian.

"Oh, Tanaka! I am surprised to see you. I was expecting you to be Sebastian."

The aged house steward smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he replied, "So it seems."

I looked down, an embarrassed heat spreading across my cheeks and down my neck.

"I tending to matters in the young master's chambers when I thought I heard your voice so I came to say hello." Tanaka said.

I glanced towards him, my brow quirking questioningly.

"I thought Sebastian was the only one who tended to his lordship's chambers?"

Tanaka proffered a patient smile at my question, before gently answering, "Yes, but the young master and Sebastian left in the early hours this morning to pursue a case given by Her Majesty."

My mind called to remembrance Grey and Phipps' visit last night. So that is why they had come.

"I wanted to notify you so you knew that only the fires on the servant's floor and the essential rooms on the first and second floors need to be lit."

I nodded, giving a quiet, "Yes, sir."

"Good. I will tend to the breakfast preparations," he announced, turning to head toward the stairs before pausing and turning back to me, "I will require your assistance with the meal preparations for today. Due to Bard's indiscretion with how much wine he drank last night, I doubt he will be suitable to help with much of anything for a good portion of the day."

I nodded in acknowledgement, but offered no further response.

With that, Tanaka made his leave and I went to tend the two grand fireplaces of the ballroom, deciding that would be enough to provide adequate heat for this floor. As I carefully stacked some logs on the grate, I tried to ignore the wounded ache that sunk my heart. Sebastian and I had spent a fair amount of time conversing last night. Why had he not mentioned the case to me? I was under the impression that I could be of use to them and would be consulted to assist with cases Ciel would have to investigate. Why had I been left behind?

The match sizzled as I struck it, holding it to an edge of the newspaper I had stuffed underneath the logs. I sighed, recalling my conversation with Ciel the night of the orphan's benefit, as I watched the edge of the page begin to glow with a brilliant molten light, curling as I fanned the fire to life. His expression had been one of spite and distrust that night, conveying his animosity towards me more accurately than his words. Nothing since then indicated his mind had changed. In fact, other than the test in the armory and a handful of brief accidental encounters, I had not seen the Earl and he seemed to prefer it that way. Though, if his feelings had not changed, I could not deny the feeling was mutual.

I rose, brushing off my skirt before I gathered my supplies back into the baskets and shuffled over to the other fireplace. My lips tightened to form a thin line as I continued to stew over that conversation. There was no other reasonable explanation. I was certain Ciel had something to do with it. As the second fire leapt to life under my skillful care, rebellious anger flared within my heart. Whether or not this was a tactic Ciel was using to remind me of my place or to show me that Sebastian's influence could only reach so far, I did not know. What I did know was I despised being treated like this and, for the first time since my arrival, the Phantomhive mansion felt more like a prison rather than the safe haven I had come to believe it to be. My hands clenched as I realized that until he came to trust me, I would not be going anywhere, case or no case. And that would not do. One thing was for certain, I would have words with Ciel when he returned. Maid or not, I was still Sarah Anne Wakefield, and no one would keep me in a cage.

/

"Goodbye!" Mey-Rin cheered, waving to the carriage that had been brought round to return Angelina and Nina back to London. I smiled, offering a subtle wave when Angelina turned and reciprocated Mey-Rin's enthusiastic farewell.

Finny waved energetically from his seat beside Tanaka, who was responsibly maintaining his hold on the reigns rather than bidding us farewell. Usually, given the length of the trip and the frigid weather, the elderly steward would have remained at the manor while Finny accompanied Bard. However, as Tanaka had predicted, Bard would be of no use until he recovered. This morning he had shuffled lethargically into the servant's hall, looking greener around the gills than the first time I had been out to sea. We had hoped eating some breakfast might help, but he had gotten no further than a quarter of the way into the food on his plate before he jumped up from the table and bolted from the room. Unsuccessfully, he had attempted to make it to the scullery. He ended up emptying the contents of his stomach in the hallway instead. After that, Tanaka and Finny had carried him back to his quarters where he was to remain until he was able to sleep the nausea off, leaving Mey-Rin and I to clean up his vomit.

As the sound of the gravel and horse hooves faded off into the distance, I wrapped my arms around my torso, though not to ward off the icy chill of the air. I glanced about the grounds of the estate, suddenly overcome with the feeling that I was being watched. A foolish notion, I knew, with the estate being so large and so removed from the neighboring properties, but I still could not shake it. Since Tanaka had informed me of Sebastian and Ciel's departure, a nagging thought dug at the back of my mind, slowly eroding my sense of security. All the servants had shared interesting tid-bits about what they knew of Sebastian's activities, which seemed to revolve around two things: the care and protection of Ciel and the estate. Their reports were what had prompted the admiration I felt for his remarkably attentive care towards his duties and, once I realized such attentiveness seemed to extend to me, had lulled me into entrusting myself to his loyalty and protection. However, in his absence, I felt exposed and vulnerable. With Tanaka and Finny's departure and Bard being indisposed, those instinctual fears only intensified. I had confidence in Mey-Rin and my skills, but I knew that we would not pose much opposition should we be attacked by numbers as large as the night Wakefield Hall had been laid to waste.

"Come," I called to Mey-Rin, gently touching her shoulder as she watched the carriage disappear from view, "We should get back inside and get to work. Tanaka and Finny will be back in seven hours or so."

She nodded in agreement, "Right."

"I think we should start with the master's chambers, since we do not know when he will return," I suggested as we both shrugged off our coats and hung them on the hooks by the door.

"Good idea," Mey-Rin chimed as she followed me to the scullery.

She paused, an uncharacteristically pensive look coming over her features as she willingly accepted the two large baskets and stack of rags I handed her before I turned to peal some soap into the bucket of water I had pumped.

"I wonder what the young master and Sebastian are up to," she mused.

"I do not know," I mumbled, slipping on a pair of my new gloves, before adding, "All Tanaka said was that they were pursuing a case from the Queen. He did not offer any more details than that."

"Hmm," she hummed, following me once again as I led the way to Ciel's chambers, my arms weighed down with two buckets filled with water.

The door to his chambers opened silently, a quiet thunk the only sound it made as it gently bumped the doorstopper. I entered, looking about the room as I did so, my heart sinking at how sterile the room felt. If Sebastian had not told me that these were Ciel's chambers, I would not have believed it. There was nothing, save the grand size of the room and the luxury of the furnishings, which would have indicated the Earl spent his nights here. No pictures. No personal effects. Nothing.

"I always thought it was sad that a boy as young as our master would have to follow the Queen's orders like that," Mey-Rin confessed, entering as well, though she seemed to be unaffected by the state of things.

"Yes," I mumbled absentmindedly as I took some of the rags from her to begin dusting and polishing the furnishings, "It is quite a burden to place on such small shoulders. But he chose to accept his role as the Queen's Guard Dog. His father had been one, so the responsibility that such a title demands should not have come as a surprise to him," I paused, gazing at the clock that sat on the mantle, before lowly adding, "At least he was able to maintain her favor."

With that, we fell into a comfortable rhythm, working in silent tandem to remove the curtains, roll up the rugs, and dust and polish until the room would have met Sebastian's approval.

"Did you ever work cases for the Queen?" Mey-Rin asked cautiously, as if she were unsure if she should ask, before hurriedly blurting when I did not reply immediately, "T-Tanaka told us about how you and your father were Silencers, but he never really told us what that means."

For a moment, I didn't answer, unsure if I wanted to be so open with her. I did not want to reveal something that could later be used against me. The only reason I had initially been so forthcoming with Sebastian was that I needed him to trust me. Because if he could trust me, he could help persuade his master to as well. My subsequent honesty with him had been made possible by the mutual trust and respect we shared. However, I reminded myself as I stole a quick assessing glance at the maid, her interest appeared to be genuine and she had no real reason to want to harm me. A little honesty could not hurt.

"In the technical sense, yes," I finally replied as I joined her by Ciel's bed. Without a word of explanation, we both began to strip the several layers of blankets, sheets, and pillowcases that enveloped and decorated the mattress.

"The Queen has many servants to protect Her Majesty and the Empire's interests of which polite society does not know. That is why, for instance, despite the Phantomhive's having served the Crown for many generations under the role of Guard Dog, his lordship also runs the Funtom Company. And why my father was a prominent member of the locomotive industry, despite serving as a Silencer. As servants of the Queen, we are sworn to upmost secrecy. To uphold the game of smoke and mirrors, which is necessary to protect the innocents of the general public from the underbelly of the Empire, what we call 'The Underworld', is paramount. Should anything threaten that illusion, that threat is eliminated," I paused as I carried a voluminous pile of blankets to the baskets, noticing how engrossed with my explanation Mey-Rin was before I continued, "That is where Her Majesty's servants of the Underworld come in. His lordship's prime responsibility is to discreetly investigate situations that have come to the Queen's attention for which she could not do so herself. Sometimes his discoveries require that he act on the Queen's behalf, but that is a rarity. If a problem was brought to light where someone needed to be eliminated, that is where my father and I would come in."

Even in the bright light of the winter day that lit the room, I saw Mey-Rin's eyes widen as the realization struck her.

"So you killed people for the Queen," she whispered, her voice lifting at the end of her statement as if it were a half-statement, half-question.

"Yes," I answered matter-of-factly, causing her to jolt in surprise at my frankness, "Among other things, but that was our chief responsibility."

"How many people have you killed?"

I glanced down at the mounds of dirty linens as I tried to quickly guess a reasonably accurate figure.

"Eighteen targets, though they usually had some sort of security detail so…," I trailed off, absentmindedly counting on my fingers as I tried to remember them all, "Roughly eighty to ninety in total."

"Wow," she whispered, almost inaudibly. I was sure she hadn't meant for me to hear. After a moment of reflection, she added almost as quietly, "Does it ever bother you?"

I glanced back at her, her gaze meeting mine as I weighed my answer. Her eyes searched mine, her gaze full of hope and yearning, as if she were wishing my answer would placate a long hidden guilt. I felt my lips tug in a solemn half smile, knowing that my words would probably not bring the solace for which she was looking.

"No," I answered, though my voice was low, as if it was heavy from the weight of that confession. When Mey-Rin's amber eyes softened with sympathy, her eyes glistening with tears, I turned my gaze away, choosing instead to stare down at my gloved hands as I rubbed my fingers together, "I had come to learn even before I shared the role of Silencer with my father that the world was a cruel and predatory place. Those who I have faced in my time in the Underworld are not like those who exist in society above. They would not give a second thought to my age, nor to the fact that I was a woman and would do whatever they saw fit with me, even if it meant taking my life. I learned very quickly that I would either have to eliminate them or risk being eliminated myself and I confess I have never taken kindly to the latter."

We stood in silence for several minutes, nothing disturbing the silence save the soft ticking of the clock that sat on the mantle.

"You must have had something terrible happen to you," Mey-Rin whispered, her voice laced with sorrow.

My heart tugged painfully at her words. I gripped handfuls of my skirt as the inside of my left thigh tingled and the memory of my terrified screams filled my thoughts.

"Yes," I replied, my response coming out as a strangled whisper.

I was so consumed in the horrifying loop of my thoughts that I did not hear Mey-Rin's soft footsteps as she came to my side. I stiffened instinctually as she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a comforting embrace. Still surprised by her actions, I stood awkwardly as she began to tremble from the sobs that came from her lips.

"I understand," she whispered shakily, her voice muted as she rested her head on my shoulder, "Before…before Sebastian brought me here from China, I did things…terrible things. Things that will always haunt me," she paused, a fresh wave of sobs shaking her frame.

I recovered from my surprise as her words finally sank in and returned her embrace as I wrapped my arms around her. I rocked her gently, my hand rubbing small circles on her back as my mother had for me when I was younger.

"If I hadn't gotten away from my triad, I don't know what would have happened to me."

She pulled away from me, placing her hands on my forearms, a thankful smile shining on her tear streaked face.

"That's why I am so happy I get to serve the young master. He let me start a new life," she gave my arms a gentle squeeze, "And I hope you can, too."

I smiled gently at the kindness of her words.

"I think I already have."

We both jumped as the clock on the mantle chimed, indicating the arrival of the three o'clock hour.

"We should make the bed. Then I can take the dirty linens to the scullery for washing while you scrub the floor," I suggested after we had recovered, both laughing breathlessly, "Sound good?"

Mey-Rin nodded enthusiastically, clenching her hands in her usual enthusiasm, before she cheered, "Right!"

In the hours that remained, Mey-Rin and I finished cleaning Ciel's chambers, the bathing room, the study, and the library until they were spotless. Bard did not appear until around six, no longer looking green, but still seeming less boisterous than his usual self. The three of us shared the humble meal of shepherd's pie that Tanaka had left me to prepare, Bard eating not only his share, but Finny and Tanaka's portion as well. Thankfully, he was able to stomach his dinner much better than his breakfast.

After dinner, I dismissed Mey-Rin and Bard, volunteering to remain "on duty", so to speak, until Tanaka and Finny returned. I had caught the passing furtive glances they had given each other over dinner, so I figured I would allow them the opportunity to take advantage of the others' absence. I did not want to keep them from their happiness and, so long as it did not interfere with their work, I did not see a reason to discourage them. They had accepted my offer without another word, shamelessly leaping up from the table and disappearing from the room.

I had followed on their heels, stopping at the entrance of the servant's hall, yelling teasingly at their retreating figures, "Just don't break anything!"

That was how I found myself sitting alone at the table in the servant's hall, warming my hands with the cup of warm milk that rested between my palms. I swirled the sprig of lavender I had added, hoping it would calm the anxiety that had begun to build within me again the longer I remained with no company. Night had long since fallen and, I noted as I glanced at the clock behind me to see it read nine thirty, Tanaka and Finny should have returned two and a half hours ago. Where were they? What had caused their delay?

I rolled my head, trying to loosen the tension in my neck before taking a long drink from the tea cup. If Sebastian were here, he would know what to do. Though, as much as I hated to admit it, if Sebastian were here, I would not be as concerned about the steward's and the gardener's absence nor about the nagging feeling that I was being watched. A soft smile ghosted on my lips as my thoughts wandered to the butler.

It was the following night after I had taken Sebastian the milk and honey. I sighed, extinguishing the lamps in the servant's hall before turning to the stairs, eager to get to my bed. It had been a particularly taxing day. Finny and Mey-Rin had managed to keep me so preoccupied from running from one disaster to the next that I had barely been able to tend to my own duties. I rubbed my lower back, groaning softly as arched my back in an effort to stretch the sore muscles.

"Sarah." Sebastian's voice called invitingly from down the hall.

I turned to where the sound had come from to find him standing in the doorway of his office, the warm glow of the fire dancing appealingly across his features.

"Yes?" I asked, unable to hide the weariness from my voice as I secretly hoped that he would not have any more tasks for me to complete.

He smiled softly, lifting up two saucers on which sat their matching tea cups.

"I was wondering if you would care to join me in my office. I have made some honeyed milk as you did last night."

I hesitated, something inside of me warning me not to accept his invitation. What if he was like…? **No** , I corrected myself. Sebastian was not that sort of man. I smiled appreciatively, casting away my fears as my tired feet carried me to stand by him. He returned my smile as he handed me my saucer and teacup before motioning for me to join him.

Since then, most of my days concluded in a similar manner. Whether it was in his office, the servant's hall, the library, or some other secluded area of the manor, Sebastian and I would share a few moments together, exchanging stories of our past or bemoaning the events of the day. Though sometimes, when neither one of us wished to speak, we would simply sit together in contented silence until we finished with our drinks and wished each other a good night. Despite the fact that I knew such regular nightly exchanges might rouse the suspicions of the servants, I could not resist the thrill of it all. The only other person in the world with whom I had shared a similar intimacy was Angelina. To be able to open up to someone else, especially someone of the opposite sex, was something I had never thought would happen. I was willing to risk a little household gossip to deepen our friendship…and Sebastian seemed to feel the same.

My cheeks warmed as I gently stroked the side of my cup with my thumbs, my chest swelling with the pleasant warmth of fondness. Ever since that night, that time with Sebastian had quickly become the activity I looked forward to the most each day. Not having him with me to pass the time while I waited for Finny and Tanaka's return left a subtle aching in my chest.

I sighed as I glanced once more at the clock, which now read a quarter after ten. It appeared that Tanaka and Finny might not return for some time so I decided to retrieve a book from the library to pass the time. I returned ten minutes later with a copy of the Beeton's Christmas Annual magazine. Pulling a chair closer to the fireplace, I ran my fingers down the colorfully illustrated cover. Since the magazine had arrived, Ciel had been enthusiastically consumed with the paperback, if the creases along the spine were any indication.

"A Study in Scarlet?" I asked myself aloud, opening to where the story began.

It sounded interesting enough and I was curious to see what story could have entertained Ciel so. As my eyes skimmed over the first few paragraphs, I found myself entranced as I was introduced to a character that I would come to always remember fondly…Dr. John Watson.

A noise from the hallway was what roused me from my slumber. I blinked, disoriented a moment as I tried to remember where I was. I quickly retrieved the magazine from the floor where it must have fallen when I had drifted off to sleep. Shooting to my feet when the noise sounded again, I found both of my guns in my hands before I registered what I was doing. I peaked around the corner of the wall towards the door, but I could not see any sign of intrusion. A moment later I heard the familiar heavy grind and slide of the lock, my heart still pounding in my chest as the door opened to reveal an exhausted Tanaka and Finny.

I quickly holstered my weapons and rushed to their side.

"You are finally back," I cheered, taking their coats as they wearily shrugged them off, "Where have you been?"

Finny groaned before covering his mouth with his left hand as it opened wide with a hearty yawn.

"On our way back, one of the horses threw a shoe," Tanaka began softly as I hung their coats up, "Luckily Jacob Anderson, the blacksmith, was nearby and was able to fashion a new one immediately."

"Yeah, he was real nice," Finny added before pausing as he issued another animated yawn before continuing, "His wife Anna is a great cook, too. She fed us dinner while we were waiting for the horse's shoe to be made."

"Well that's a relief. I wasn't sure what to feed you when you returned. Bard finally emerged around time for dinner and ate his portion and both of yours' as well," I sighed.

Tanaka chuckled softly as he locked the door and led Finny and I down the hallway.

"It is good to know that he seems to have fully recovered. I trust that you and Mey-Rin were able to handle all the tasks I assigned to you, correct?"

I nodded affirmatively as he looked over at me.

"Yes, sir."

"And Sebastian and the young lord have not returned?"

I paused for a brief moment, ignoring the pang of disappointment that sunk my heart.

"No, sir."

"I see. We should work on getting things in order for the night then," Tanaka suggested, though I could hear the weariness in his voice that he tried in vain to conceal.

"Do not worry yourselves about it," I kindly objected, stopping and turning to the pair as we came to the entrance of the servant's hall, "You have had enough adventures for one day. I will see to things down here. You both go get some rest."

When Tanaka didn't reply at first, I was afraid the steward was going to object, but a moment later, they both gave me two grateful, but exhausted smiles.

"I believe you have given us an offer that we cannot refuse. Good night, Ms. Sarah."

"Good night, Tanaka."

With that, the two servants turned and shuffled sleepily to the servant's stairs. Finny gave a "G'night" mid-yawn before they disappeared from sight.

Luckily I had not been completely idle the hours that I had been waiting, so all really I had left to do was extinguish the fires and lamps in the servant's hall. After I washed the cup and saucer I had used after dinner, I put out all the flames and made my way up the stairs. As my soft footsteps echoed off the walls, a contented smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. Even though the household had not yet returned to normal, I was glad to have Tanaka and Finny back safely. The anxiety from earlier still remained, but I found that it had reduced to an annoying doubt rather than a distracting concern. I knew that would not completely abate until all was as it should be.

I paused as I reached the doors of my quarters, looking a couple of doors down from mine to Sebastian's quarters. No, it would not be until he and Ciel returned. For now, I would be content with the reassurance sleeping with a gun under my pillow would bring. A fond warmth began to grow in my chest once more as I realized that, instead of resenting the security Sebastian brought me, I found was actually grateful. I closed my eyes, stifling a soft yawn of my own before opening the door. I made to enter my quarters when I paused, stealing another quick glance towards Sebastian's.

My smile widened as I whispered, almost inaudibly, "Good night, Sebastian."

/

The next four days continued with the same uneventful monotony. Since neither Sebastian nor Ciel had sent word about when they might return, Tanaka had decided that now would be a good time to give the mansion a thorough cleaning from top to bottom. And that is what we did. From the early hours of the morning until the late hours of the night, all of the servants set to their assigned tasks. Much to my surprise, it was without too much event. It seemed that Bard, Mey-Rin, and Finny yielded more desirable results when they were not rushed on by the threat of impending punishment should they commit an infraction against the butler's strict standards. I made a mental note to address this discovery with Sebastian once he had returned.

The sheer cotton fabric rippled as I shook the sheet so it billowed out to cover the mattress. At lunch, Tanaka had asked that I finish the cleaning of the remaining guest rooms before assisting Bard with the dinner preparations for tonight. I had been relieved to be given a task I could perform on my own. For the past few days, Mey-Rin and I had teamed up to clean the larger rooms of the manor and, while I had come to enjoy the maid's company, I had also become weary of her constant chatter, specifically when it came to the subject of Sebastian. It became clear that, despite her romantic attachment to Bard, she too had fallen under the spell of the butler's good looks and charms. I remembered the heat of jealousy that flared up within me at her confession. Luckily my reaction disturbed her as much as it had me, as she quickly dropped the subject and found an excuse to tend to another room. It still baffled me as to why I reacted that way. I had no claim on Sebastian, nor had he any claim on me. I had no cause for jealousy. However, I had not been able to hinder the instinctual urge to protect what was mine when the words had passed from her lips.

I sighed, straightening the sheet before I began tucking it under the mattress, attempting to push those musings from my mind. As much as I tried to deny it, with each passing day without the return of the master and the butler, I found my thoughts dwelling increasingly on Sebastian. At first it had began as a subtle inclination to miss the small day to day things we would share, like seeing him first in the morning or him helping me retrieve something that was too high for me to reach on my own or our nightly talks. Now, it had developed into an actual longing for him to return, an aching at his absence…and it frightened me.

I had tried rationalizing these feelings. Sebastian was my friend, right? It was only natural for me to miss his company. However, last night when Bard had caught me staring out the window of the parlor to the drive that led away from the mansion, he had given me a knowing look and patted me on the back.

"Don't worry, Sarah," he comforted, his blue eyes softening when I had turned to look at him, "When Sebastian and the young lord go away on business, it's normal for them to be gone for days, even weeks, without word. They'll be back before you know it."

I returned my gaze to the window, about to object and tell him that he had been mistaken, when I had caught a glimpse of my reflection in the glass, disappointment apparent in my expression. I could not deny it any longer. I had formed affections for Sebastian.

I jumped as a series of knocks issued from the doorway behind me, startling me from my thoughts. Whipping around, I turned to find Bard standing in the doorway, a sheepish grin on his face as he held up some letters.

"Sorry to scare you," he began as he entered, "Tanaka wanted me to bring these to you. They just came in the post."

"Thank you," was all I replied as I took the letters he offered me, eager to see what news there was.

I went to sit in a chair by the fireplace, carefully working the first envelope open.

"I'll…see you in a bit, I guess," Bard said hesitantly, deciding to take his leave once he realized I was not interested in continuing the conversation.

The first letter was from Mister Albert, who was writing to update me on state of my affairs. The last of the servant's families had been paid, which allowed the remaining 10,000 pounds from the sale of the land on which the estate used to rest to be distributed among the various creditors to whom my father had owed money. He was still trying to find a suitable buyer for my mother's jewels, but mentioned there were two interested parties, one from France and one from Spain, who were willing to pay as much as 60,000 pounds for the set. He believed that one of the sets of negotiations would be concluded soon and, if they went as well as he was he hoped, my father's debt would be reduced to a still suffocating 80,000 pounds. With my meager earnings of 20 pounds a year, I knew there was no way I would be able to repay that debt…not without getting creative. I sighed, laying his letter aside once he began to send his best wishes, knowing that was all the information he had to share.

The next two letters were from the Lord's Nugent and Branson, who both cordially declined any offers of help, stating that they were not inclined to venture the dangerous task of investigating my father's affairs and advising I not do so, either. Any debts they had owed my father for his services, they clarified, were annulled with his passing. I crushed their letters between my hands before casting them into the fire with a huff of frustration.

I picked up the last of the letters, this one from Mr. Karl Woodley, and began opening it, jerking my finger under the flap of the envelope a little too aggressively.

"Ow!" I hissed, before putting my finger in my mouth from where the envelope had sliced into it. I gingerly ran my tongue over the small cut, finding comfort in the action.

The parchment crinkled as I opened the letter, fully expecting to read the same façade of regrets as the previous two letters. My brows rose with surprise as I read the short note from the diamond merchant. I had to read the brief sentences a second time to believe them. Mr. Woodley wrote to inform me that he planned to call around one o'clock on Sunday to share information with me that he thought I would find interesting. The corners of my mouth twitched with a slight smile as I felt my heart lift a little with hope. Even though I was not sure what information Mr. Woodley would have for me, this had been the first possible lead on my case in weeks, so any promise of progress was too tempting to refuse. Though, I reminded myself as my stomach twisted with unease, I would need to be careful when he came to visit. It had been with trepidation that I had reached out to him in the first place, but desperation had spurned me to act despite my concerns. From the first time I had met Mr. Woodley three years ago, he had made it clear that he was willing to offer his assistance with anything, so long as I was willing to thank him with the treasure that was housed between my legs. I could only imagine that he would be all the more persistent given he had become a divorcee six months ago. I bit my lip as I folded the letter back up and slid it back in its envelope, wishing even more than before that Sebastian would return sooner rather than later.

I retrieved Mister Albert's letter from the floor where I had laid it and slid it into my pocket along with Mr. Woodley's. I rose from the chair and set to finishing making the bed, unable to keep my mind from wondering what Mr. Woodley's visit would bring. A few minutes later, I was fluffing the last of the pillows when I heard footsteps coming down the hall. I glanced up to see Mey-Rin poke her head in the door.

"I was going to dump these ashes, so I wanted to see if the hearth needed swept in here."

I glanced over to the hearth and nodded.

"It couldn't hurt," I replied, before adding, "Thank you for checking."

She smiled warmly before shuffling into the room, carrying the almost full ash bucket with two hands. I was about to make my leave, when I noticed that the edge of the rug that lay in front of the bed had a wrinkle, which the clumsy maid was fast approaching.

"Mey-Rin, watch your step!" I warned, pointing to the rug.

I was a moment too late. Her foot caught the raised section of the rug and, with a cry of surprise, she crashed to the floor along with the ash bucket. Ashes spilled from bucket and onto the brightly decorated Turkish rug.

"Oh no! I am so sorry!" Mey-Rin cried, straightening her glasses before she awkwardly rose to her feet.

"Don't panic yet. Help me carry this to the window. If we can knock off the ashes, there might be a chance we can save the rug," I instructed before I rushed over and unlocked the window.

I flung the panes of the window open and started as the frigid wind struck my face, temporarily taking my breath away. Taking a sharp breath, I returned to where Mey-Rin stood, holding one edge of the rug and took the opposite end. Together we shuffled over to the window, struggling to maintain our grip on the rug, though it was mainly due to the cumbersome size rather than the weight. With a grunt, we hoisted the rug up and shook it out. The ashes fell from the rug to the ground below as if it were gray snow.

"There we go." I nodded with satisfaction and turned to Mey-Rin, "I will shake this out a few more times. If you could grab a brush, we should be able to work out the last bit of ashes in no time."

"Right away!" she agreed before scurrying off to the supply closet at the end of the hall.

I smiled and shook my head at the maid. Really, how could someone be so accident prone? Sebastian had once mentioned that she was terribly farsighted, which was good considering she was an expert sniper, however, it made it difficult for her to complete her daily tasks. I had wondered before whether or not the comically thick glasses she wore had might be aggravating the situation, but the maid refused to part with them to test my theory, stating she couldn't get rid of the master's generous gift.

Carefully draping the rug over the windowsill after giving it a few rigorous shakes, I gently put my weight on it to hold it down while I waited for Mey-Rin to return. My gaze wandered over the eastern expanse of the estate. Even in the barren winter, there was a muted beauty to the rolling hills that were covered in snow. Resting my elbow on the rug, I sat my head on my left hand as I looked to the horizon and beyond, allowing myself to drink in the peaceful solitude of the moment, feeling it seep into my soul.

To my right, I heard a twig snap. My gaze snapped to where the noise had originated to find I had done so too late. The piercing sound of gunfire echoed through the winter air a split second before I felt a burning pain on my cheek. I gasped, my hand flying up to where the bullet had grazed my right cheek. I froze for a moment as I pulled my hand away to find the tips of my fingers covered in blood. The sound of shattering glass shocked me from my stupor, my body reacting before my mind could urge me into fleeing. I threw myself to the floor as glass shards rained down from the barrage of bullets that attacked the window where I had just been standing. I hissed, feeling an all too familiar pain as some of the shards dug into my hands and forearms as I crawled along the floor towards the door.

"Sarah!" Mey-Rin cried as she appeared once more in the doorway. Her glasses, which typically blocked most of her face, were now poised on top of her head to show her fierce amber eyes.

"Get down!" I yelled before another wave of gunfire cut off my warning.

I continued in my retreat, ignoring the splinters of wood the clattered around me.

"Take my hand!" Mey-Rin called, reaching towards me from where she was defensively crouched.

I winced as I obeyed, grabbing hold of her hand a moment before she gave my arm a hearty tug to pull us both to our feet. We set off down the hall, knowing we would need to retrieve some weapons from the armory as soon as possible.

"Who are those men?" Mey-Rin asked between breaths as we ran down the stairs, the sound of our frantic footsteps echoing against the stone walls.

"I don't know," I answered breathily, turning my head towards where she followed close behind me, "I didn't get a good look before they started shooting."

"Oi!" Bard's call came from down the hall as we entered the hallway of the servant's floor.

We both halted and whipped around to face the cook, who approached us, carrying a variety of firearms and our coats.

"What's going on out there?" Mey-Rin demanded as we both grabbed our respective coats, donning them on as quickly as we could.

"Not quite sure," Bard replied, handing each of us a sniper rifle, "But it looks like there's about forty or so men out there. Finny's already giving them a warm welcome."

As if on cue, there was a large crash that sounded from somewhere outside the manor, interrupting Bard before he continued, "I'm going to join him out there."

Mey-Rin nodded, tightening a belt around her waist that held the extra magazines for our weapons.

"I'll take the shoulder holsters, too," I interjected, slipping the leather straps over my arms and doing the belt underneath my breasts before placing the guns in their holsters.

"Tanaka's going to hold things from in here," Bard mentioned, as he checked the belt Mey-Rin wore to make sure it was tight enough, before looking up and giving us both a grave look, "We need you ladies to head to the roof."

Mey-Rin and I nodded as we replied in unison, "Right."

I took the lead as we raced up the stairs, a smile breaking my serious expression as I heard Bard's voice cheer us on from where we left him in the hallway, "Go get 'em, girls!"

We wasted no time as we scaled the narrow staircases until we came to the landing where our quarters were located. Access to the roof was located behind the locked door at the end of the hall, closest to Sebastian's quarters. I jerked the key from the hook where it hung by the door, the familiar grinding and click joined the sounds of chaos that echoed from outside as the heavy locked moved as I turned the key. Flinging the door open, Mey-Rin and I quickly dashed up the short flight of stairs, hastily unlocking the second door before we hastened through to the roof.

The icy wind took my breath away once more as it unmercifully struck my body. With shaking hands, I pulled the collar of my coat up and buttoned it as high as it would go to keep the wisps of my breath from revealing our location before we chose to make our presence known. A loud crash came from the grounds to the south side of the manor, quickly followed by the explosions of heavy gunfire to the west.

"It sounds like Bard and Finny have the south and west covered," Mey-Rin observed, her voice muffled by her coat collar, as she had followed suit when I buttoned mine.

I nodded in agreement before adding, "I think we should start at the east side and work our way from there."

With that, we raced to the opposite end of the roof, our heels clicking against the stone slabs. About a meter away from the ledge, we dropped to our hands and knees, cautiously approaching to make sure we remained unseen. Mey-Rin adjusted the rifle she had been carrying so it rested by her side before she carefully inched herself up to sit on her knees before peering over the ledge.

"What do you see?"

"There's ten approaching from the east. Three snipers in the trees, seven men on the ground," Mey-Rin replied mechanically, her eyes narrowing as she counted again to be sure, "I should be able to handle them."

I rose to a low crouch as she drew the rifle from her side to load it.

"I will check the north side then."

Mey-Rin nodded in acknowledgement as she rested the rifle against the stone ledge and fired her first shot.

I took that as my signal and swiftly rushed to the north side of the manor. My gaze flitted over the long drive, the front steps, and the forest that rested a somewhat lengthy distance from the manor. To my surprise, I did not detect any assailants on this side. The others must have done a good job at drawing them to a more exact area.

To my right I heard Mey-Rin curse and I turned to see where she had ducked back under the cover of the ledge as she reloaded.

"We've got more company. I could use some help over here."

I sprinted back to her side, readying my rifle as we both came to our knees. I closed my left eye, tilting my head to get a better look through the sight. I wasn't surprised, but Mey-Rin was correct. She had already taken down four of the assailants but it appeared that a supporting wave of another ten or so had rounded to the east side of the building. The echoing of our rifle shots reverberated through the air as another two fell. We continued in this deadly tandem until we had to pause, ducking behind the ledge, to reload. Mey-Rin finished reloading first and resumed her position of attack.

"You've got to be kidding," she growled.

"What is it?" I asked, cocking the rifle as I finished loading the last bullet.

"There's more!"

I was about to turn myself to rejoin her in the efforts when, over the north ledge of the roof, five men clamored, taking no time to recover and charge towards us.

"We've got company," I warned over my shoulder.

My gaze flitted to where they had appeared to see the sharp, curved edges of the hooks that must have been used to secure the hold of the ropes they used to scale the side of the mansion. My eyes narrowed as another five quickly joined their comrades. They must have sent more men to the other sides of the manor to create a diversion. I jumped to my feet, pulling the pistols from the shoulder holster, sparing no time in raining gunfire upon them.

I took four of them down before those remaining scattered, taking cover behind the various chimneys that littered the rooftop. Cursing under my breath, I edged forward with caution as I tried to create some space between Mey-Rin and I while also providing her the protection she needed. This was difficult since we had positioned ourselves in an area that did not have much natural cover, given that we were not expecting the intruders to make it to the roof.

The resonating sound of Mey-Rin's gunfire continued as I ducked behind a chimney when I heard a sound ahead of me. Bits of brick broke off as two of the assailants peaked from behind their respective chimneys and opened fire, which I returned without hesitation. A smirk of satisfaction tugged my lips as I passed by them, their lifeless eyes staring up at me accusingly. As I started to pass by the next set of chimneys, the click of a gun being cocked to my right made my ears perk. I rounded to where the sound had originated as the sound of gunfire rang in my ears. I threw myself to the ground, somehow narrowly missing the bullet, before rolling twice to right myself in a crouched kneeling position. Two shots later, my attacker fell to the ground. My brows quirked in surprise as I saw that another man had fallen parallel to him. He must have accidentally shot him when he missed me. Whoops.

I cast both pistols to the ground, knowing from their weight that they were no longer loaded. Gooseflesh bumped up on my thighs as I raised my skirts to retrieve the two guns from my leg holsters. I saw a flash of color to my left, realizing a moment later that one of the two remaining men was running directly at Mey-Rin. I sprinted in pursuit.

"Mey-Rin!" I yelled over her gunfire, "Look out!"

She turned in response, but was unable to bring her rifle up fast enough to prevent him from shooting his pistol. A pained cry escaped her lips, her hand flying up to her left shoulder where the bullet had pierced her flesh, her rifle clattering to the ground.

I growled in anger, halting in my pursuit as I readied myself and took my shot, swiftly snuffing out his life before he had the opportunity to shoot her again. My chest heaved from exertion, my breath coming out in billowing wisps as she returned my gaze, hers grateful despite her pain. Suddenly, her gaze flickered to something that was behind me, her eyes widening.

"Sarah,…!" was all she was able to get out before a searing pain burned on my left arm.

I was fortunate that, once again, this bullet managed to graze my arm rather than lodging itself in my flesh, but the wound still burned with intensity. A strangled cry of my own issued from my lips as the pistol I held in my left hand dropped to the ground. From behind me, I could now hear the swift footsteps of the last man. I whipped around, raising the pistol in my right hand to counter his attack, but was caught off guard as the burly man barreled into me rather than continuing to fire at me. As the weight of his body collided into mine, I lost my footing and fell to the ground. My vision flashed over with white for a moment as the back of my head struck the stone. I wheezed as my breath was knocked from my lungs as my attacker fell on top of me. I blinked rapidly, trying to regain my senses when I felt his rough hands gruffly grasp my wrists to pin them by my head. I tried to move my legs, but found that he had pinned them to the ground as well.

"Well, well," he began, his thick Irish accent matching his wild ginger curls, "what do we have here?"

I winced as he moved to grip both of my wrists with one of his large hands, freeing the other to lift up my skirt. As he adjusted his weight to look at my legs, I struggled to clamp my legs together, but found that, like when I had tried to free my arms from his grasp, I could not match his brute strength. Panic surged through my veins as he gruffly ripped my legs open. I heard the clattering of Mey-Rin's rifle as she tried to pick it up, despite the loss of the function of her left arm.

"Don't you hurt her! I'll kill you!" she threatened before cursing, her rifle clattering uselessly on the stone once more.

An eerily toothy grin spread across the man's face as his gaze rested on the inside of my left thigh.

"Ah, so we have found ya," he grunted as I continued to struggle against him, "Ya don't know how much trouble we've gone through to get ya, lass."

As he passed his arm over my face, I strained my neck and took a hearty bite into his arm, not relenting until the revolting taste of his blood seeped into my mouth. He gave out a cry, wrenching his arm from my mouth before angrily bringing his fist down on my face. My head jerked to the side from his blow, my cheek throbbing with pain.

"Stop struggling," he warned.

I did not listen, but rather his words seemed to spurn on my urge to fight back and free myself. The sound of gunfire pierced the air a moment before my attacker cried out in pain. My gaze snapped to the wound on his right shoulder, which had already begun to seep blood. He must have had a high pain threshold, because his grip on me never loosened until he reached for his gun and took a quick shot at Mey-Rin. I heard her give another cry before I heard her crumple to the ground and made no noise of rising again. Fearing the worst, I glared up at the man, my eyes burning with seething anger, which did not seem to faze him.

"I'll kill you!" I shrieked, ignoring the pain in my head and arm that was aggravated as I struggled against him.

"Now what did I tell ya? Ya need to stop fighting me." He seethed, feeling the grip of his hands leave my wrists to clamp down on my throat.

I relentlessly clawed at his hands as his grip tightened. My mouth opened as I tried to catch a breath of air, but his large hands had too strong of a hold around my throat. My heart beat rapidly against my ribs as it struggled to deliver oxygen to my body.

"Master wants us to bring ya back alive," the man whispered in my ear as he bent over me, "But you're making it hard to when ya fight like tha'."

Then, he added with a sinister chuckle, "Tha' must be why he chose ya."

The next thing I remembered was the sensation of a heavy weight being lifted off me. A haggard gasp issued from my lips as I felt my lungs expand with breath.

"Thank goodness!" I heard Tanaka softly breathe.

I jerked to my side as a spasm of coughs wracked my body from the sudden onslaught of oxygen. I continued to alternate between heaving and gasping as my body greedily gulped in as much air as my lungs would allow. Returning to lay on my back, my chest continued to heave as I tried to regulate my breathing, my sides and chest aching from the effort.

"Tanaka…," I began, pausing when I glanced to where my attacker was sprawled on the ground beside the steward, "Is he?"

Tanaka shook his head, a gentle smile gracing his face.

"No. He is only temporarily incapacitated. I thought it would be best to save him for questioning before we dispose of him."

I attempted to nod, but stopped when my neck seized with a deep soreness.

Tanaka put a gentle staying hand on my shoulder, "It would be best that you remain still for the moment."

"O-…," I tried to agree, but was caught off as the effort to speak sparked another series of violent coughing.

"It would be best if you didn't attempt speaking for the moment, either. At least not until we can see what condition your throat is in."

I had to fight the urge to nod my head, prompting another warm smile from Tanaka.

"Now," he began as he gingerly supported my back as I slowly rose to sit up, "Let's get you inside. I'll have Finny collect the intruder after I take you to your chambers. Bard can take a look at your injuries. He's currently tending to Mey-Rin."

I sighed inwardly at his words, thankful to whatever gods there may be that she was alive.

"Do you think you can walk?"

I answered his question by bending my legs in preparation to rise. Luckily Tanaka was observant and noticed my cue, firmly grasping my elbows to support me as I rose to my feet. I leaned into him for a few moments as I waited for the world to stop spinning, surprised at the strength with which the elderly steward held me.

We slowly made our way the short distance from the roof to my quarters.

"You should remove your outer garments before Bard comes to check on you," Tanaka instructed, causing me to halt as I had been making to lie down, "I will go make some tea. It should help soothe your throat."

With that, he left, closing the door softly behind him. I slowly rose to my feet and shuffled over to the mirror to assess my appearance. My eyes widened as I saw that most of my hair had fallen from the bun I had it assembled in earlier, dried blood caked to my right cheek from where the bullet had grazed it earlier, a deep blue bruise shining below the cut from where it had been punched. I winced as I unbuckled the shoulder holster and unbuttoned my coat with clumsy fingers that didn't work quite right from where the glass had sliced them. Shrugging both off, my eyes narrowed when my gaze fell on the hole that had been ripped in the sleeve from where my left arm had been shot and were my collar was opened slightly. I guessed a few buttons had come off when I was being strangled. I hadn't had my new uniform for a week and it already needed repaired.

It was slow work trying to undo all of buttons of the front of my uniform, but I was eventually able to do so and quickly slipped out of the dress. I let a low hiss out as I gingerly fingered my throat which, like my cheek, had already bruised with patches of brilliant blue and purple. More dried blood caked my left arm and both of my forearms. I was literally a bloody mess. Though, I suppose I should have been thankful, seeing as I was still alive.

A series of soft knocks interrupted my inspection. I turned toward the door a moment before it opened, Tanaka returning with a tray of tea with Bard following behind, carrying a medical supply box.

"Come and sit," Tanaka coaxed, gently guiding me over to my bed before pouring me a steaming cup of tea.

"Drink it slowly," he instructed, handing me the cup.

I wordlessly accepted it, ignoring the slight discomfort it caused to hold the warm dish. Behind him, Bard opened the medical supply box, arranging bottles and bandages he thought he would need. Tanaka waited, observing me as I cautiously took a few sips of the drink. I grimaced, as it hurt to swallow, but found that once I had taken a few more sips that the combination of the herbs and the warmth of the drinks soothed my throat, easing some of the pain.

"Thank you," I said, my words coming out as a strained whisper.

Tanaka smiled once more, seeming satisfied with my reaction, before turning to Bard.

"I am going to help Finny tend to our unexpected guest. Will you help me dispose of the other bodies once you are done here?"

"Sure thing," Bard mumbled with a nod.

With that, Tanaka made his leave.

"Now let's see what you've got going on," Bard began, halting mid-step as he turned towards me, adding a sympathetic, "Blimey" as he got his first good look of my condition.

About forty minutes later and after much prodding, stitching, and bandaging, all of my wounds had been tended to. While Bard patched me up, he filled me in on everything else that had happened during the attack. Apparently his initial head count had been inaccurate and, rather than forty assailants, there had been around sixty.

"What do you think they were coming after?" he speculated, more to himself than to me, as he cleaned up the soiled bandages and threw them in the waste bin, "If they had been watching the manor, they would've known the young master wasn't here."

"I think…they were…coming…for me," I struggled to whisper, taking another sip of the tea before I could begin coughing.

"Hm," he hummed, casting me a curious look, before adding, "I guess we'll see what our guest has to say when he comes to."

I looked down at the teacup for a moment before taking a long draw from it, finishing off its contents and placing it back on its platter with a soft clink.

"How do you feel now?"

I looked up to see that Bard had come over to stand in front of me, his blue eyes softening as he gazed down at me. When he had first started tending to me, I had been somewhat sore, but now that I didn't have adrenaline coursing through my body blocking my pain so I could survive, I found that my whole body radiated with pain.

"I hurt…all over," I whispered in defeat, bowing my head as my eyes closed.

"Why don't I give you some morphine?" he said gently before returning to the box.

He returned a moment later, coming to sit beside me. I winced as I felt the needle pierce my arm, but basked in the relief that flooded my veins as the morphine quickly took effect.

"There," he whispered as he used his thumb to rub circles around where he had inserted the needle, soothing the dull ache it had caused, "You should get some rest now."

As much as I wanted to be of use at the moment, I knew that rest was what I needed most if I was going to be effective in the near future, so I did not fight his suggestion, choosing rather to lay down. My eyes drooped, already becoming too heavy to keep open as I laid my head on the pillow. Once I was situated, Bard rose and gathered his things.

"Bard," I called out groggily, forcing my eyes open as he opened the door to leave, "You'll let me…question him, right?"

His mouth curved in a sympathetic smile in response.

"Of course. Don't worry about him now, though. You get some rest."

My eyes fluttered closed as I gave a slight nod of my head, the combination of morphine and exhaustion quickly pulling me into slumber. The sound of my door closing softly told me that he had finally left. In my last moments of conscious thought, I pondered lazily what I would ask our "guest". Deciding at last that it would be best if I not think of such things while under the effects of morphine, I let go of all my worries for the time being and, as I felt my body relax completely in the drug induced slumber, I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

/

The sound of a heavy handed knock on the door to my quarters was what roused me from my sleep. I groaned as I sat up, stretching my back to ease the soreness I felt from not having moved at all while I was asleep. Glancing towards the small square window, I saw that the thick darkness of night had fallen. As I rose, my gaze flitted over to the clock, which read three thirty. No wonder I was so sore. I had slept for nearly twelve hours straight.

The knocking issued once more, reminding me of why I had risen. I shuffled to the door, donning on my night coat before I pulled the door open to reveal Bard. My eyes widened in surprise at his haggard appearance. He offered a weary smile before striking a match to light the cigarette that dangled from his lips, the momentary flash of flame revealing the dark impression of the tired circles that rested beneath his eyes.

"I hated to wake you, but he's not talking," he sighed, exhaling a long stream of smoke from the corner of his mouth, "He said he'll only speak to you."

He paused a moment more before adding, "Are you sure you're up to it?"

I carefully nodded, the motion causing some discomfort, but not as much acute pain as it had earlier.

"Yes," I answered, my voice hoarse and raspy, "Give me a moment."

He nodded in acceptance, though the unease in his gaze told me he was still unsure that I should be doing this. I quickly closed the door and stripped out of my night coat and petticoat, which was stained with blood. If I had been thinking earlier, I would have had Bard take it to the scullery to soak. It would be troublesome to remove the blood now. A minute or so later, I glanced at the mirror to study my appearance. Though I still looked worse for the wear, I at least appeared much more put together than earlier. I slipped on a pair of gloves to hide the bandages on my hands before I opened the door once more.

"Where is he?" I asked as I followed him down the stairs.

"The armory," Bard answered, his head slightly towards me as we continued our descent, "Figured it would be one of the easiest places to clean up should things get a little bloody."

Neither of us spoke as we hastily made our way down the remaining flights and along the lengthy hall to the armory. As we entered the cavernous room, I noticed that it did not appear as inviting as it had when I was first seen it. This time it was dimly lit by the lanterns that had been placed in the immediate area where our guest was being held, bound to a chair, Tanaka standing guard by him. The faint flickering of the firelight on the wood and metal of the myriad of weapons cast a sinister aura.

"Alright," Bard began as we approached our guest, "You got what you wanted, now talk."

A quick glance at the man revealed that the interrogation he had undergone whilst I was asleep had not been a gentle one. His face was puffy, his right eye almost completely swollen shut. His nose appeared misshapen, something I hadn't noticed earlier, though from the blood that had trickled from his nostrils, it looked like it had been broken. A gurgling laugh escaped his lips as he smiled another toothy grin, his teeth stained with blood.

"S'bout time they brought ya down. I was getting impatient. 'Tis a nice place, the Phantomhive estate," he paused to spit on the floor, his saliva bloody, before he returned his icy blue gaze to me, "Though I must admit the hospitality has been lacking."

I planted my feet and crossed my arms as I came to stand in front of him. I swallowed tentatively, trying to muster the most authoritative voice I could muster before speaking.

"We are inclined to greater hospitality when our guests are not determined to kill us."

The man let out a whooping laugh, eyes sparkling with glee at my response.

"You're a cheeky one. I can see why our master wants ya so badly."

My eyes narrowed as I glared at him, my gaze momentarily shooting to the gleaming knives that lay on the floor beside him tempting me to use them. I didn't want him to last one breath longer than he needed to.

"So your master, he's the one who sent you?" I asked as my gaze snapped back to him, my voice straining as I tried to speak at a normal volume.

"Yes, he sent us…and the many before us."

At this confession, I turned to Tanaka for confirmation, as I had not known of any recent attacks on the manor until the one yesterday. The elderly steward nodded his head affirmatively.

"A couple of weeks ago, Sebastian mentioned how there had been a significant increase in attempts to infiltrate the manor since you came to be with us."

"Ya don' know how much trouble we've gone through to get to ya," the man interrupted, clearly wanting the floor now that he had me as a captive audience, before continuing on as if he had rehearsed the words in his head during the hours he had waited for me, "We've been watchin' ya for awhile now, trying to figure out when to strike. We had lost too many men from earlier tries…all thanks to that damned butler. After many failed tries, we realized we couldn't try anything til he was gone. Keeps a close watch on ya, he does."

He paused, his eyes searching mine for any revelation my expression might reveal. But this was not my first interrogation, so nothing in my posture nor my expression gave away the surprise or the anxiety his confession stirred within me. My instincts had been correct, I had been watched, but what I hadn't known was that Sebastian had been protecting me all along.

His brows dipped in disappointment when I offered no entertainment for his curiosity, choosing to continue instead.

"So ya couldn't imagine our surprise when five days ago we saw your butler and lit'l lord leaving. We were bitin' at the bit to get'cha, but we knew we had to make sure we could get to ya this time. So we waited until the time was right. And we were glad we did. Ya gave us some good memories," his eyes darkened as he mentioned this, his gaze slowing traveling along my body, "You'd be surprised wha' someone will do when they don' think someone's watchin'."

I couldn't stop the blush that dusted my cheeks, contradicting the otherwise stoic expression on my face. I wouldn't let him get under my skin, even though I wanted nothing more than to slice his throat, if just to make my skin stop crawling.

"You pervert!" Bard seethed, unable to keep his composure.

The man's head tilted back as he guffawed at Bard's indignant reaction.

"Getting back to the matter at hand," I interrupted, my tone grave as I regained control of the conversation, "Your master, who is he?"

His attention turned back to me, a cocky smirk on his face.

"Now let's not rush things, lass. I didn't freeze my ass off for days to have my story cut short."

My brow dipped with a frown, my lips pressing together in a hard line. I was losing my patience with this buffoon.

"Then kindly get back to your tale or else you will find that your story won't be the only thing cut short."

He chuckled at my threat, clearly impressed.

"So like I was sayin', we waited until the time was right. We sat through snow an' bitter cold for the perfect moment. Actually lost a few good men that way. Couldn't handle the weather. Then, yesterday, our opportunity came. Though, if I may say so," he crooned, an almost affectionate look coming over his features, "we waited a few moments longer when we saw ya standing in the window. So calm and peaceful ya was, ya looked like an angel. Seemed a cryin' shame that we'd be takin' ya back to someone like our master."

"Tell me more about your master," I demanded, measuring my steps as I approached him, my presence intimidating as I leaned forward to rest my hands on the arm of the chair. I had grown tired of his game.

A satisfied smirk tugged at the corner of my mouth as he instinctually leaned away from me.

"Now, I can't be doin' that, sweetheart. Tha's somethin' you'll have to witness yerself."

In the blink of an eye, I swiped one of the daggers from the floor and, grabbing a fistful of his coarse hair to tilt his head back, I threateningly held the blade against his exposed neck. His breathing hurried in response, his eyes darting nervously between the blade and my face, all of his former arrogance wiped away in an instant. Excellent, this is exactly how I wanted him.

"I have indulged you long enough. It would behoove you to answer when I ask you a question. I will ask again. Your master…who is he?"

"I-I-I," he stuttered as he struggled against his bonds to create a little distance between himself and the dagger.

I pressed the dagger closer to his flesh, causing him to whimper as it began biting into his skin.

"Don't waste my time," I warned, gritting my teeth as my hands ached from my aggravated wounds, my throat feeling as if it was on fire from speaking so much.

"I swear, I swear on my mother's grave tha' I don't know his name. No one knows. 'Tis only whispers and rumors we hear. Only the closest ones to him know who he really is," he took a shaky breath, casting me a wary glance before he continued, prodded to further confession by my silence, "All we know is tha' they say he's a demon…the very devil himself."

"You lie," I hissed, forcibly pushing him back into the chair, pressing the knife against his flesh with enough pressure that blood began to freely flow from the wound, "Demons don't exist. They are only creations humans have devised to give a name to the monstrosities they commit."

He whimpered pathetically beneath my hold, his eyes pleading for mercy when I did not relent.

"Demon or not, he be powerful. I've seen him grant wishes no human could," he whispered, the urgency in his gaze catching my attention as he continued, "Why else would I be here? He promised to give us our heart's greatest desire if we could bring ya back. So ya better pray your butler comes back soon, 'cause we won't stop. In fact, he gave us a message, should we see ya."

He paused, motioning for me to lean in closer. I hesitated for a moment, but then decided I would risk a bitten ear to appease his request. Removing the blade from his neck, I leaned my ear close to his lips, his breath shaky and heavy against my neck. I ignored the repulsed twisting of my stomach as I drew close to him.  
"He wanted us to say," he paused, clearing his throat before he spoke with a voice that was not his, but one I would never forget, "Stiamo sempre a guardare."

My eyes widened, my chest seizing in fear. He laughed loudly in my ear as he felt my body stiffen.

"Sarah?" I heard Bard call cautiously, not knowing what he said, nor what it meant to me.

Bard's voice freed me from my terrified stupor. As I came back to my senses, the man's taunting laughter still sounded in my ears. I did not allow him the luxury of knowing what was to happen next as I swiftly pulled the dagger back before plunging it deep into his throat. His blood seeped from the wound to soak my glove, a sickening crack sounding as his esophagus collapsed under the pressure of my attack. I hovered over his body for a few more moments as I relished in his panicked gaze before his eyes became a lifeless void.

"Sarah," Bard called again, before placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.

I whipped around, like wild animal who has been cornered. My chest heaving as I tried to keep my racing heart from bursting out of my chest.

"It's ok. No one's going to hurt you," he soothed, pulling me into an embrace.

"Get her back to her room," Tanaka instructed from behind us, "I will clean this up."

Without another word, Bard broke our embrace, choosing to wrap a steadying arm around my shoulders instead as he carefully led me out of the room. My movements were mechanical as we made the seemingly lengthy journey from the armory to my quarters. I don't remember much of what happened in the following minutes. I vaguely caught bits of phrases that Bard spoke to me, such as "Take it easy", "Rest", and "Sebastian should be back soon" as he gingerly wiped the blood from my face and removed my soiled gloves but I found that his words meant nothing to me as the Italian phrase the man had spoken kept echoing in a haunting loop…

Stiamo sempre a guardare.

We are always watching.


	13. His Butler: Healing

**Author's note:**

Hello, lovelies! Thank you for returning for another chapter. I hope you all had a great week.

I would like to take a brief moment to thank everyone who has read, followed, and favorited this past week. Your support is so encouraging. And a special shout out to everyone who reviewed chapter twelve: **alexandriasutherland98, nightmooncat, Akuma-Sama2002, ThePsychoBeauty, and Aservis Roturier.** Your feedback is so important to helping me to continue to improve my writing and maintain proper continuity for this story and for the characters, both canon and non-canonical. And thank you again to everyone for being so gracious about my extended pause in posting (which will happen again in April, just a heads up). You all are the best!

So, it is with great pleasure that I present to you chapter thirteen. It is an intense chapter and it was such a pleasure to write. I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Well, enough from me. You may proceed to what you really came here for, lol. Enjoy!

 **Chapter Thirteen: His Butler-Healing**

My ears perked as the lilting tones of the string quartet swelled above the chatter of those who stood on the fringe of the ballroom. Hundreds of guests looked onward as thirty or so pairs of dancing partners swirled around the room in synchronized movements, the decadent dresses of the ladies standing out amongst the black formal wear of the gentlemen like the first flowers of spring against the dead grey of the barren winter landscape. I was among them, wearing my favorite gown, a pretty silk ensemble which had been dyed my favorite color at that time-a whimsical lilac. How I hated that color now.

I spun around the room, securely pressed to my partner. It had been such a delightful evening. Laughter bubbled up my throat at something my partner said, spinning me away before pulling me back to him again. He always knew just what to say to make me laugh. My heart was light and merry as we waltzed about the ballroom for one, now, two more passes. When we began our third pass, I lurched to the right, the floor beginning to spin beneath me as the room seemed to tilt. The once melodic tune was cut short as a sudden shrill of a violin sliced through the air. I lost my footing and, as I fell, a paralyzing fear gripped my heart.

I shot out my hands in desperation, one to brace myself and one reaching desperately towards my partner. I tried to call out to him, but my chest tightened painfully and, though my lips mouthed the words I wanted him to hear, they never passed my lips. My eyes widened as I glanced frantically about the room as I continued to fall. Swiftly approaching from all sides was a sinister darkness that twisted its penetrating tendrils towards me, consuming the guests who were standing on the fringe of the ballroom. I turned my pleading gaze towards my partner again when the tears of fright that had been welling in my eyes began to stream down my face. Rather than reaching out to save me, he gave a sinister grin, his face twisting with a wickedly impish delight.

"No," I breathed with a terrified whisper a second before my body collided into the unforgiving ground below.

I lay motionless for what seemed like hours, my body aching from the impact, blinking rapidly as I unsuccessfully attempted to lift the darkness that veiled my vision. My ears perked again as they caught the hushed tones of people talking.

"Help, please! Someone help me!" I cried, my voice echoing into the void.

As I tried to rise, I quickly found I could not, for my arms and legs were stretched out, my wrists and ankles bound tightly to whatever I was laying on. A fresh surge a panic rushed through my veins as I began to violently struggle against my bonds. My once pleas became frantic shrieks.

The roar of flames made me jump and recoil, the brightness stinging my eyes, the heat so intense it was as if it was searing my skin. From above the sizzling and crackling of the fire, the voices I heard came nearer, their words becoming clearer as they approached.

"Perfect, absolutely perfect."

"She is the best specimen we have found. I am sure this one will work."

"Of course she'll work, our master chose her specifically."

"Yes, master will be most pleased."

My eyes shot open at their words, recoiling once more until my eyes adjusted to the overpowering light. I could not see those who gazed down at me from above the flames, but I could feel their eyes boring greedily into my now naked body. My bottom lip began to quiver, fresh tears spilling from my eyes. Please, no. Not this…not again.

Movement at my feet caught my attention and my gaze snapped to where the movement had originated just in time to see the flames part. For a moment I thought my heart had stopped when I saw _him_ materialize from the darkness. All rational thought left me as I did everything I could to struggle against my bonds. But all my efforts were for naught. Instead, I could only look on in terrorizing horror as he measured each step as he approached me, his eyes shimmering with dark intent.

My cries for mercy were no longer voiced with the human language, but rather had morphed into something akin to strangled animalistic shrieks and whimpers. As he came to stand beside me where I lay, trapped, he held a quieting finger against his lips.

"Shhh," he shushed.

Knowing that there was no point in resisting, I silenced myself as best I could, though the trembling of my body and rattling of my breath still gave voice to the fear that surged within me.

"Much better," he approved in Italian, a wicked smile flashing across his face, "It is much easier to complete the ritual when you are calm."

From within the pocket of the cloak he wore, he pulled out a knife, its cold blade glowing mercilessly in the firelight. A series of panicked whimpers escaped my lips as he rose the knife in the air, shuffling around in a circle as if to give the onlookers an opportunity to appreciate the deadly instrument.

"What do you think, brothers and sisters?" He began. His commanding voice silencing the whispering that had continued from the others until now. "Where should I mark this beautiful creature? Where should I mark her for our master…for my father?"

The harsh sound of excited whispers joined the roar of the flames as suggestions issued forth in a disorderly tumult. Some said my face, others said my shoulders or back, others still suggested my breasts or stomach, even my womanhood was mentioned. I watched his face shine with approval at each idea, one more depraved than the next. My stomach roiled with horror and disgust as I could do nothing but hope wherever I be marked that it would not be too painful.

The suggestions continued until, over the cacophony, a booming voice issued.

"You are the master's son. Where do _you_ think she should be marked?"

I froze, my body growing stiff as he returned his gaze to me.

"Where indeed?" he absentmindedly asked as he lowered the knife to hold it loosely against the soft skin of my check.

My breathing came in shallow gasps as I tried not to move and he began to delicately drag the blade down my body. The knife ghosted across my skin, just enough to leave a pink, irritated trail wherever it scratched my skin, but not enough to cut through to make me bleed.

"It should be somewhere," he paused, his gaze lustily burning where the blade rested between my breasts.

A hungry smirk tugged at his lips as he continued to stare. I averted my gaze, looking down in shame, only to have my stomach roil once more in disgust as I saw his hardness pressing against the confines of his pants.

When he spoke again, his tone had lowered a full octave, his voice rough as he continued to trail the blade down my body, "Somewhere intimate…somewhere that, when he sees it, he'll look upon you as the gift you are."

"No!" I whimpered in objection as he ripped my legs apart.

Any resistance I voiced was cut off when the agonized screams ripped my throat raw as he began to carve into the tender skin of my inner thigh without hesitation. Tears completely clouded my vision as the searing pain of the knife slicing through my skin continued. **Please…** my thoughts begged **…make it stop.**

My screams subsided to loud sobs as he finished his work and released my legs. A second later a large hand closed around my throat, cutting off my sobs.

"There," he growled menacingly in my ear, his breath hot and heavy against the side of my face, "Now you are forever marked as his. No man would dare to consider claiming you as his own once he sees this mark," he paused, tightening his grip on my throat before he continued, "Even if he decides to let you leave for a time, you will never be free from him…or from us. No matter where you go, no matter who you are with, we will find you. We are always watching."

My eyes widened as his last phrase echoed in my mind on a continuous loop. Darkness descended once more and I found myself inexplicably standing, now clothed in my nightgown. His phrase continued to thunder in my ears as my vision cleared. Before my eyes, the specter of my father appeared, his lifeless eyes looking up at me, his head tilted back to reveal the still bleeding slash in his throat. We are always watching. His image disappeared and was replaced with another more disturbing sight.

I was in the hallway downstairs. It was dimly lit, but I could see that down the hall a soft light glowed from the servant's hall. Slowly sucking in a shaking breath, I cautiously made my way towards the room. Each hesitant step I took, his voice would sound again in my mind. We are always watching. When I was about a meter or so from the room, I halted as, instead of the light patter of my feet against the wood floor, there was a quiet splash. My feet slipped on the slick surface and I lost my footing, tumbling to my hands and knees. I froze as the nauseating pang of iron assaulted my lungs. Blood. The floor was coated in blood.

I scrambled to my feet, now coated in the fluid as I hastily made my way to the opening of the room. My mouth opened in a silent gasp of horror. In the center of the room where the table would normally set, there was a pile of corpses, all bloody, all broken in some grotesque manner. And not just any corpses…but the corpses of those I loved. My eyes scanned the pile again and again as I stared into the lifeless eyes of Lord and Lady Phantomhive, Lizzy, Edward, Lord and Lady Midford, Tanaka, Bard, Mey-Rin, Finny, Angelina, Nina...

We are always watching.

I forced myself to look away before I could finish counting the others before realizing with a start that Sebastian and Ciel were not there. I had to warn them. I had to save them from this fate. As I turned and began to run towards the stairs, I tripped over something dark in the hallway and found myself splayed on the floor once more. I turned with trepidation to see what had caused my fall, unable to keep the mournful and terrified shriek from escaping my lips.

Sebastian sat with his back pressed against the wall, his entrails glistening sickeningly in the low light as they had spilled from his abdomen, his head bowed toward Ciel, who was tucked protectively against his butler's corpse. Ciel looked almost untouched compared to the rest of the massacre, but a quick inspection revealed that he had expired as well. I was about to rise. To do what, I didn't know. There was nothing I could do for them now. But I was about to rise, when Ciel reached out and grabbed a hold of my wrist with a vice like grip. Taken off guard by the child's movement and brute strength, I found I could not resist him as he pulled me towards him, his eyes glowing menacingly through the darkness as he brought me close enough to whisper hauntingly in my ear,

"We are always watching,"

My body jerked violently, as my mind finally wrenched itself free from the clutches of the awful nightmare. My heart pounded so rapidly within my chest it ached, the thrumming of it in my ears sounding like the beats of a timpani drum. The blankets of my bed had twisted tightly around my legs. I kicked my legs, trying to shove them away.

As I successfully freed my legs, I tucked them tightly against my chest, wrapping my arms around my knees. The blankets landed on the floor with a dull whoosh of fabric, followed by a disapproving meow.

"Sorry, Minerva," I whispered, almost inaudibly, to the dark striped tabby.

I pulled my arms more tightly around my knees, trying to calm the trembling of my body. My eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness of the room. Since the interrogation two days ago, I had swiped one of the thick towels from his lordship's washing room and covered the small square window, as I did not know how to sew a decent curtain. I would miss the natural light it gave, but it helped pacify the concern that other unwelcome eyes might be able to look in on me.

My breath shuttered from my slightly parted lips as I tried to find something, anything to erase the barraging images of my nightmare from my mind…a nightmare borne from a twisted combination of fantasy and memory.

I stared unblinkingly, as if in a trance, to where Minerva had curled in front of the hearth to bask in the heat of the dying fire. Her jade shaded eyes gazed up at me from where she had rested her head on her bandaged paws as if to make sure I would not have another fit. When she had seemingly assured herself that I was safe for the moment, she shuffled her paws slightly, only to return to the same position before letting her eyes droop shut in slumber.

I watched the slight rising and falling of her side. One. Two. I counted each breath. Three. Flames. Four. Knife. Pain. Blood. I shook my head, a deep frown creasing my brow as I tried again. One. Two. Three. Screams. Eyes…dead eyes.

An ember simmered brightly in the fireplace before exploding with a loud pop. I jumped at the sound, yelling out in surprise. Both startled Minerva and she shot, claws scratching against the wood floor as she tried to gain traction, over to my dresser where she slid her supple body in the small space between the dresser and the wall behind it.

I huffed angrily, rising from my bed in frustration as I accepted that I would not be able to get back to sleep…at least, not without assistance. As a rule I did not turn to the comforting embrace of alcohol, but, I excused as I squinted my eyes to make out that it was only a hair past midnight, I did not want to spend the next four hours trying to keep my frazzled mind from working me into hysteria.

Since the attack I had been a bundle of nerves, every sudden noise or movement causing me to instinctually reach for my guns. I had done my best to conceal the acute anxiety that the events of that day had provoked, but earlier today when I had shot a hole in the wall in the servant's hall when Funny accidentally dropped a pot, I gave up the ruse. Bard had to coax me for a half an hour before I begrudgingly gave up my weapons. It was for the best, though. Until I had returned to normal, I was more of a threat than anything while I still carried them.

"Come along, Minerva," I called softly to the feline as I donned on my night coat.

I glanced over to my dresser after I lit a candle, the large orbs of her irises reflecting the candlelight as she peaked out from behind the oak furniture. She blinked at me once before following me as I went to the door. A ghost of a grin tugged ever so slightly at my lips when she meowed softly as she passed by when I held the door open, as if she were thanking me, before padding silently beside me as we made our way down to the servant's floor.

Finny had stumbled upon Minerva while he, Bard, and Tanaka were cleaning up the carnage left by the attack. She had somehow gotten caught up in the action and had received some fairly deep cuts on her front paws. They had bandaged her up, but the soft hearted gardener would not stand for her being set loose again until she had recovered. I had been introduced to her the following morning when I stumbled upon Bard and Finny, who were in a heated debate on what to feed the cat. As soon as her jade eyes met mine, she had stolen my heart and, if the way she followed me everywhere as if she were my shadow were any indication, I think I may have stolen hers, too.

Her companionship was more than welcome, though. Her presence had been a comforting one as the feline seemed to intuitively know what I needed. Whenever my chest tightened with anxiety or I found myself frozen as another flashback overtook my thoughts, she would nudge her head into my legs or meow loudly until she had captured my attention. Then I would pick her up, holding her close as I rubbed my face in her thick soft fur and scratched her head and neck until my anxiety had subsided. As soon as I had returned to normal, she would wriggle from my arms, content to return to whatever activity she had been engaged in before my lapse. Even though I knew she would not be able to provide any protection should an intruder sneak up on me, the balm she had been to me these couple of days was worth more than any protection. I was more than capable in that department.

I glanced up as we descended the last flight of stairs, noticing there was a soft glow that came from the hallway below. I halted mid-step, my hands instinctually reaching for guns that were not there. No one should have been up. The others had retired an hour before I had. I clenched my teeth and cursed my negligence for not at least grabbing the gun that I kept underneath my pillow. If I encountered an intruder, I did not want to do so unarmed. My encounter on the roof made me keenly aware of my inadequacies when it came to hand to hand combat. It had never been my father's intent that I become involved in such physical altercations, which explained why my training had never progressed beyond the basics when it came to self defense. Though, I noted as I swallowed, grimacing as my throat twinged with soreness, I now wished I had pressed the issue more.

Minerva gave a meow, pulling me from my thoughts, before darting down the remaining stairs and into the hallway.

"Minerva!" I hissed in a hushed whisper, trying to call her back.

A moment later she gave another meow, one that I noticed she seemed to give as a greeting to a human she recognized. I quirked my brow as my curiosity was piqued. Who would be up at this hour?

Finally deciding to leave the safety of the stairway, I hesitantly descended and entered the hallway. I looked to my left to see the familiar flickering of firelight glowing invitingly from the servant's hall. I heard Minerva give another meow, followed by Bard's low chuckle and I released the breath I hadn't realized I had been holding. Running my hand over my braided hair, I relaxed my shoulders, feeling some of the tension leave my body as I realized there was no eminent threat.

"Hey," Bard greeted softly as I stepped into the entrance of the servant's hall, a slight smile teasing the corner of his mouth as he lit a cigarette, "Couldn't sleep, either?"

"No," I replied wearily, heaving a heavy sigh as I joined him at the table.

Minerva jumped up on the table and nudged my hand with her head. I absentmindedly began scratching behind her ears, eliciting the low rumbling of purrs from her chest, while I eyed the bottle of whisky Bard was currently nursing.

After a long drawl of his cigarette, he turned his gaze from his glass to me, "I didn't think so. You've started screaming in your sleep again."

I looked down at the table and began to trace indistinct shapes on the wood.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"Don't be," he chided, the sternness of his tone prompting me to glance back at him. His brow was creased with a frown, but his blue eyes softened with a knowing warmth as he continued, "An unexpected attack like that is enough to knock anyone off kilter. Why d'ya think I'm down here?"

He turned and poured himself another shot of the caramel tinted drink, which he downed a second later.

"Battles like that always mess me up for a bit," he continued, gruffly wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, "Make memories harder to forget. Make 'em seem real again."

He paused, taking a quick glance my way before pouring another shot.

"What about you?" he asked before sliding the glass towards me.

I looked down at the glass that sat before me, surprised at the forwardness of his silent offer.

"How did you?" I began, but was cut off by his deep throated chuckle.

"After the kind of dream I imagine you just had, there's only one reason you'd be down here. Though I'm assuming you were coming for the wine."

A rueful smile spread on my face as I gave a slight nod.

"I was desperate for some sleep…," I confessed, letting out a defeated sigh, "And I knew I would not be able to without some assistance."

I took the glass in my hands, rotating it slowly with my fingers as I deliberated what I would do. I needed the alcohol to sleep, but the gnawing warning in the pit of my stomach told me not to break one of my greatest rules-no drinking outside of meals in mixed company.

"I have to say that I am a bit surprised. With your former employment, I didn't think you'd be having such a hard time," Bard carefully said.

"It's not because of killing people," I corrected, my grip tightening on the small glass, "It was what _he_ said."

"Oh, you mean the Irish bloke?" he asked, pulling his chair closer to mine. I nodded abruptly at his question before he continued. "I noticed what he said at the end seemed to get inside your head. Do ya want to talk about it?"

"Nope," I snapped, hastily grabbing the glass and downing the contents in one large gulp.

I sputtered and slammed the glass on the table, surprised at how the whisky burnt my throat. Minerva didn't care for the loud noise and jumped from the table, shooting me a disapproving look before slinking over to the fireplace.

"I was gonna tell you that you should take it slow since you ain't used to drinking something that strong," Bard sighed.

"Duly noted," I whispered, my throat still on fire.

I jumped when I felt Bard's hand firmly, but comfortingly grip my shoulder.

"But seriously," he began as I turned to face him once more, "If you ever decide you're ready to talk about it, let me know. I'm always here."

A soft smile lit up my face, mirroring the one on Bard's face, my heart swelling in response to his kind words. I reached out to touch his hand in reciprocation, but I stopped short, choosing to pour a shot of whisky instead.

"I will remember that," I quietly agreed, tossing my head back as I downed another shot.

I grimaced as my throat seared with a burning heat. Though a moment or two later, an unusual warmth began to seep into the rest of my body, tension melting away, lifting my spirits as the alcohol began its work.

"We've all got ghosts in our past that haunt us, 'specially our lot. I don't think anyone would judge you."

My heart seized painfully at the unreserved compassion of his words because I knew they were true. Since the other servants had come to trust me, they had taken me into their confidence and had revealed some of the skeletons they had collected before beginning their employment at the Phantomhive manor. I admired their bravery at their willingness to be so vulnerable with me. With each new secret, my heart prompted me to reciprocate, to be just as open and vulnerable. However, I found that whenever I tried to begin that my mouth would suddenly become dry and all words would fail me. Now was one of those times. I looked up at him, hesitantly clasping one of his large, callused hands in my own.

"Please forgive me, but I'm not quite ready. Others who have heard have not been as understanding as I am sure you all would be," I apologized, looking away when his eyes softened with sympathy.

We sat for some time in our mutual silence, our eyes communicating more than our words could at the moment. A slight smile ghosted over my lips as my eyes searched his. In the amber light of the firelight, with his eyes shimmering with the fresh blue of the sea, the stubble of his face glowing like gold, his cheeks dusted with the faint blush of intoxication, he looked handsome. Though I knew he would never stir my heart with desire, I could at least understand what Mey-Rin saw in him and I almost felt envious for the maid at having found such an understanding and caring partner. Though I was thankful to have such a one as a friend.

Bard gave a quick smile before squeezing my hand gently, removing his hand from mine to pour another shot.

"It's alright," he mumbled, "Sebastian's never shared anything, either. Plays things close to the vest, that one."

"That he does," I agreed.

Most of what Sebastian had intimated to me was related to his current post. Whenever I attempted to broach the subject of his past, he skillfully redirected the conversation or evaded my question altogether.

Bard's brows rose in surprise as he crossed his arms, shot glass in hand, and reclined in his chair.

"That's a surprising turn," he commented before taking a long draw from his cigarette, continuing as he exhaled, smoke billowing from his lips, "We assumed that if anyone would know more about Sebastian, it'd be you. Seeing as you two are…," he paused, studying me carefully as he allowed his sentence to trail off.

My brow creased with a confused frown, "Seeing as we're what?"

Bard took the remaining bit of the cigarette between his fingers, flicking it into the fire. The movement caught Minerva's attention and she chirped, bolting upright as she watched the cigarette fly over her head into the flames. She turned and now sat at attention, staring at the flames with curiosity, her tail flicking back and forth.

"Why lovers, of course," he finished with a suspicious amount of nonchalance before knocking another shot back.

"What?!" I yelled in surprise, reaching out to grasp the table to keep myself from falling from my chair, "Why-why would you think that?"

An embarrassed heat bloomed on my face and quickly spread down my neck as I stared at Bard, my mouth agape. Luckily he seemed to be just as surprised by my reaction as I had by his suggestion.

"What else were we supposed to think? You two being as thick as thieves and all. Always seeming to prefer each other's company. Sneaking off every night, we thought it was to get in a good shag."

I visibly blanched as those last words came from his mouth. I had warned Sebastian we should be more careful. The other servants were clumsy and sometimes lacking in common sense, but they weren't stupid.

"When I saw how down in the mouth you were about him being gone so long, I just assumed it would be because you were pining."

"Well, I'm sorry to dash the rumors your overactive imaginations have been able to concoct," I rebutted harshly, causing Bard to jump. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my frazzled nerves before I continued, my voice more calm and even like it usually was.

"Sebastian and I are not and will never be lovers," I insisted firmly, "We are only friends. Our 'sneaking off' is only so we can go somewhere to talk where we won't be interrupted. We have never engaged physically with one another and I don't expect we shall start now. Sebastian has never indicated the desire to do so, so I assume he does not wish to. And if he does not, I do not, either."

My last words had been a lie. I had accepted by now that there was something my body acutely craved and that was to become physically entangled with the butler. But I would not act without him initiating. He had been more than flirtatious with me, but our sexual banter never really progressed beyond the foreplay of words. At the end of the day, words were only words and they did not mean he was genuinely interested in me in such a carnal way. A man as handsome and charming as he could have any woman, or probably man for that matter, on their knees within minutes, begging to be taken by him if he so chose. Why would he waste his efforts on me?

"Oh, I see," was all the answer Bard gave to my denial.

The conversation extinguished into an awkward silence, neither one of us knowing how to proceed from here. A few minutes later Bard cast a glance toward the clock, which now read five after one.

"We should probably get back to bed," he started, rubbing the back of his neck before screwing the lid back on the whisky glass.

I nodded in agreement, my eyes growing heavy as the whisky took a stronger hold on my body. Hopefully this meant that I would be able to sleep now. I made to rise from my chair when my legs wobbled beneath me. I clutched onto the table, blinking exaggeratedly as I waited for the world to stop shifting about.

"Woah," Bard mumbled, as he attempted to rise from his chair, but ending up crashing into me and knocking the both of us to the floor instead, "I forgot that with whisky you can't tell how drunk you are until you go to move."

I sighed, lighthearted giggles tinkling in the air as I assessed our state. Bard joined in with my laughter when he saw how comically our limbs were tangled.

"What do you think Sebastian would say if he could see us now?" Bard murmured into my arm before lifting his head to look at me.

I dipped my brow in a frown I had seen Sebastian wear on several occasions when he was less than enthused by the other servant's antics, lowering my voice to try to match his tone.

"A Phantomhive servant who cannot hold their liquor isn't worth their salt."

A fresh wave of laughter filled the air, our hearts seemingly freed from the weight that had held them down earlier. A couple of minutes later Bard managed to free himself and flopped gracelessly on his back. I wiped a tear from my eye as my laughter finally subsided. In the corner of my eye I saw Bard move to lay on his side, propping his head on his hand as he faced me. I turned to look up at him from where I lay on the floor, taken aback by the glow of adoration that was on his face.

"Sebastian may not have said anything, but I've seen the way he is around you. What he doesn't say with words he makes up for with his actions."

My brow furrowed in confusion at his words.

"I'm not quite sure what you mean."

Bard chuckled and shook his head.

"Let's try it this way. What does Sebastian make you feel?"

I chewed my bottom lip as I considered his question.

"I don't know," I replied, shrugging my shoulders, "A lot of ways, I suppose."

"But what does he make you feel the most?"

After another moment of consideration, I looked up into his eyes, "Safe."

"And there you have it," Bard announced, sweeping his arm out in dramatic fashion, "Trust me, a man won't be able to make you feel something as powerful as 'safe' if he doesn't really care about you. Men don't invest that kind of time if they don't think a girl is worth it."

I quirked my eyebrow at his explanation.

He shrugged his shoulders again before explaining, "It may seem heartless, but that's how we work."

"No, it makes sense."

At this I sat up, the world not spinning as much as it had earlier. Minerva joined us, hopping into my lap before curling up, nudging my hand until I began rubbing her ears. I stared down at her as she closed her eyes, my mind whirring as I contemplated Bard's words. Was he right? Could I have been misreading Sebastian's actions this whole time, my own self-doubt clouding my perception?

"All I'm saying is give the guy a chance," Bard dismissed, interrupting my thoughts, "I don't know much about him but he can't be that bad."

I absentmindedly nodded in response, still lost in thought. With our conversation seemingly at an end, Bard struggled to rise to his feet. He got himself into an uncomfortable crouched position before he wavered, flailing his arms about before he toppled into me again. Fortunately I had foreseen this and was able to steady him, my hands grabbing hold of his shoulders to break his fall. Minerva let out a disgruntled yowl as she leapt off my lap.

"I think we should retire for the night," I grunted as I strained under his weight.

"Right," he agreed with a lazy nod.

It took several minutes, but after many failed attempts, multiple expletives, and sudden crashes into the walls of the narrow stairs, we found ourselves ascending the last of the stairs to our quarters. I helped Bard hobble over to his bed, careful to be quiet enough to not wake Finny who lay in his own bed, blissfully unaware as he slept with his mouth open, a tiny trail of drool leaking from the corner of his mouth. I tried to help guide him down onto his bed, but about halfway through the process I lost my grip on him and he flopped heavily onto his bed with a groan.

"Thank you," he mumbled, half awake as I coaxed his legs under the blankets before pulling them over his body.

"You're welcome," I whispered softly.

I watched him for a moment until his eyes finally closed, deep chested snores following soon after. Minerva meowed at me as I stumbled when I rejoined her in the hallway before turning and leading the way back to my quarters. The door squeaked softly as I opened it to let her in. She heartily accepted the invitation, immediately dashing over to the bed and curling up on the pile of blankets that were mounded up at the foot of the bed. I was about to follow her, when I paused, looking down the hallway to Sebastian's quarters. A warm smile spread across my face as Bard's words echoed in my mind. Yet another reason to look forward to Sebastian's return.

/

It was Minerva's greeting meows that roused me from my slumber. I cracked my eyes open, trying to blink away the sleep from my eyes when I realized I was in total darkness. The fire had died out shortly after I had returned, but I was too tired to force myself to make a new one.

"What is it, girl?" I mumbled groggily.

I rolled onto my other side, nuzzling my face against the pillow as my eyes drooped shut again. I was fully intending to drift back to sleep when Minerva leapt from the bed, issuing another loud meow of greeting. It was then that I realized that I was not alone.

A rush of adrenaline surged through my veins, my hands securing themselves around the cold metal of my gun a moment before I turned to take aim, my ears straining to locate the intruder. In the pitch darkness of the room, I didn't see them approach nor did I know where they were until I felt a hand firmly grasp my wrist.

"Why is one of the young lord's towels hanging over your window?" a honeyed voice spoke from the darkness.

My heart leapt within my chest, both from relief and excitement.

"Sebastian?!" I called, half rejoicing, half questioning.

"Yes," he answered a moment before he gently coaxed the gun from my hands, "Who else would it be?"

I reached out into the darkness, ignoring his question as I groped unseeingly for him when I felt his touch leave me. I wanted to be sure I wasn't dreaming this. Somewhere around us Minerva paced back and forth, issuing enthusiastic meows, seemingly as excited for the butler's return as I was.

"Lady Lilith?" he cooed, "What are you doing in here?"

 **Lady Lilith?** I thought, my brow raising questioningly at his unique name selection.

Loud purrs began to thrum in the darkness and I assumed he had scooped the feline up in his arms.

"Can you tell me why it's so dark in here?" he asked, practically purring himself as he addressed the cat. For a moment I was almost jealous.

Minerva gave another meow as if to answer him, followed by his almost silent footsteps.

"Well, no matter," he dismissed.

I recoiled, squinting as a healthy fire roared to life in the hearth. I sat up, my eyes adjusting to the light just as Sebastian rose from where he had been crouched a moment before. My heart swelled as the firelight danced across his features. I knew I had missed him, but, I thought as I could not stop the pleased grin that lit up my face, I did not realize I would be so overjoyed at his return.

"There," he approved with a nod, letting Minerva jump on the bed to join me before continuing, "Now, I hate to disturb your slumber, but there is something that urgently needs your attent…-"

He trailed off mid word as he turned to look at me, his eyes flitting over my body, getting the first good look at me since he arrived. His shoulders bristled, his eyes burning with bridled rage as he rushed to my side, gingerly cupping my chin with his right hand as he began to inspect my bandaged cheek.

"What happened?" he growled, "Who did this to you?"

I opened my mouth to answer when I noticed that his waistcoat appeared to be wet. I reached out, my fingers sliding along the dark fabric. My eyes widened as I looked down at my bandaged fingers, the tips of them stained a dark crimson. They were covered in blood.

"Sebastian!" I gasped, when I realized that wasn't the only item of clothing that was soaked in blood, but rather the chest of his shirt, his gloves, and shirt sleeves as well, "What happened?"

My brow furrowed with concern and confusion as I inspected his appearance once more. For as much blood as covered him, Sebastian appeared to be in an unusually fit state. My eyes widened again as my mind's frantic deducting came to a screeching halt.

"This isn't your blood," I whispered, looking up into his crimson eyes.

He shook his head slightly, confirming my fears. Without hesitating, I pulled away from him, flinging the blankets back as I hurriedly rose and slipped on my night coat, thankful that I seemed to have slept off the affects of the whisky.

"Take me to him," I ordered.

We wasted no time, both flying from my quarters a few mere seconds after I had voiced my command.

"How bad is he?" I questioned, my voice echoing over the swift clicking of his shoes and the padding of my bare feet against the stairs.

"Worse than I thought," Sebastian's voice echoed back to me from where he had taken the lead, "His wounds did not seem too extensive, but he's lost quite a lot of blood."

We rushed down the first flight of stairs before bursting into the hallway of the second floor where Ciel's chambers were located. I frowned as I tried to recall the medical training my father and Angelina had given me. I had seen my fair share of injuries during the time I spent working with my father and, in my time of treating the wounded, I had discovered one thing above all else was the most difficult to treat successfully…blood loss. With someone as petite as Ciel, every minute counted.

As we reached Ciel's chambers, Sebastian reached to open the door, pausing a moment to turn to me.

"I would like to warn you that I called for your aid against my master's wishes. However, with the little time I assume we have to work with, you were the only viable option to provide the emergency care he requires. I'm afraid his injuries are beyond my skill set."

"It is no matter," I replied, shaking my head as I took a step towards the door, "He would not be the first unwilling patient I have treated. Let us hope that one cannot die from stubbornness."

At this, Sebastian gave an amused smirk before quipping, "If anyone were to test that hope, it would be my young master." With that, he opened the door, adding quickly as I made to enter, "I shall return presently with hot water and the medical supply box."

I nodded, turning to step into the room when a thought occurred to me and I turned to call after Sebastian's retreating figure.

"And bring some old newspapers if you can."

He paused mid-step, casting me a questioning glance at my odd request.

"It's to try to save the mattress," I explained, cupping my hands around my mouth to make sure he heard me.

He nodded, indicating he had at least heard me, before he disappeared from sight. With that I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what awaited me in the room beyond, and stepped in.

My heart clenched as I entered, my gaze immediately finding where Ciel lay, writhing on the bed. His shirt had already been removed, his torso slick with blood and sweat. From his left shoulder to just above his navel there was a large angry looking gash of a wound, which seemed to be the main source of his agony. The eye that wasn't covered with the eyepatch was closed tightly, his hair matted to the side of his face from the large beads of sweat that glistened on his paler than normal flesh.

I sucked in a quiet breath as I cautiously approached his bed, realizing with each step that the situation was more grave than I had initially assessed. Rather than wait for Sebastian's return as I had originally intended, I went over to the water basin that sat next to his bed, stripping off my night coat and neatly draping it over a nearby chair before I rolled up the sleeves of my night gown and began washing my hands and forearms.

The noise must have drawn Ciel's attention because a moment later I heard sheets rustling before his condescending voice questioned, skeptical and displeased, "What are _you_ doing here?" then, he added more frantically, "Where's Sebastian?"

I took a deep breath, mustering the most professional demeanor I could, and dried my now sanitary arms.

"He went to go retrieve some medical supplies, my lord. He should return presently," I replied, plastering a pleasant smile on my face as I approached the bed, "Meanwhile, it would behoove you to allow me to inspect your injuries."

A deep frown of disapproval creased the boy's face as he struggled to maintain some distance between us when I came to sit by his side.

"I will allow no such thing!" he refused, his chest heaving from the effort.

I opened my mouth to insist when I decided I could observe his condition well enough from here and decided not to press the issue further until Sebastian had returned. Other than the wound on his torso, it appeared that most if his other injuries were superficial, for which I was thankful.

"If my lord will not allow me to inspect his wounds, could he at least tell me how he acquired them?" I asked cooly.

Ciel glared in response to my question and I assumed he was going to obstinately refuse to provide me with any useful information when, grimacing, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"The Queen sent us to investigate Lord Carson. Apparently he used the information you and your father gathered from the mole to get in contact with the Germans directly," he paused, taking a few labored breaths, glancing at me to study my reaction.

I merely shrugged my shoulders. Given what I knew about Lord Carson, I wasn't surprised he had made such a move. Though I was sure it had been a surprise to Ciel. Funny what information he would have had at his disposal if he had simply asked.

"Anyway," Ciel continued when he realized I would not offer any more reaction than that, "he discovered what we were up to and invited us over for a dinner party."

My eyes widened as the pieces fell into place.

"He requested a private audience, didn't he?" I whispered, almost inaudibly.

"Yes," Ciel groaned, another frown coming across his features, "How did you know?"

I rose to my feet at his confirmation, wondering in the back of my mind where Sebastian could be. If I was correct, time was of the essence.

"Because I've seen him do this before," I answered gravely, swiping a nearby candle.

Ciel gave out a cry of surprise as I returned, climbing onto the bed with him.

"What the blazes are you doing?" he demanded as I opened his eye and leaned over him, holding the candle close to his face. To my relief, his pupil constricted normally and wasn't overly dilated. There was still time.

"How long has it been since he cut you?" I asked, ignoring his question.

I turned, preparing to inspect the wound on his torso, but paused when he gave no reply. My gaze snapped up to his, my eyes searching his for answers. I found none, save it seemed like he didn't want to tell me.

"How long has it been? Your life depends on it." I insisted.

"I don't know," he huffed before crying out in pain as I gingerly pressed the sides of his wound, growling the rest of his response, "Maybe an hour?"

"An hour? That's impossible. Lord Carson lives at least a two days journey from here."

"The dinner party wasn't at Lord Carson's estate," Ciel hissed through gritted teeth.

A pained gasp escaped his lips and a fresh flow of blood pulsed from his wound. I watched, lost at what to do without the medical supplies. I was torn between staying and watching over Ciel as he bled out or running to see where Sebastian was.

"Where is that damned butler?" he seethed, voicing the concern I felt.

"Right here, my lord," Sebastian announced.

I sighed with relief, turning to the welcome sight of Sebastian and the armful of supplies he brought with him.

"Good," Ciel harshly agreed, before he turned his sharp gaze to me, "Sebastian's here now. Leave us."

I stood, mouth agape for a moment, dumbfounded by his stubbornness. Sebastian calmly brushed past me causing me to step back from the bed, seemingly unaffected by Ciel's actions, and began setting out the supplies.

"My lord, Sarah is the most competent help available. She can…-," Sebastian began, but was cut off when Ciel clenched his fists and yelled over him, his voice strained.

"Out! I didn't want her help in the first place! Get out!"

At his words, I stormed back up to the bed and past Sebastian, forcibly grabbing Ciel's chin with one of my bandaged hands. I brought my face within inches of his, my brow furrowed with annoyance and offense. My voice was low and threatening when I finally spoke.

"Enough! Now you listen to me, _my lord_. You are not going to send me away. I am not going anywhere. I am going to stay and treat you and when you regain consciousness, then we can discuss how you got into this mess in the first place because you intentionally kept me in the dark. But for now, I don't want to hear another word of objection from you. Do I make myself clear?"

As I finished, I released his face and crossed my arms, waiting for him to challenge me. He frowned deeply, the fire in his eyes warning me that I would most likely pay for this later, but he did not say any more. Taking this as my cue to start, I set about into a flurry of activity.

"Sebastian, put several layers of newspapers down and begin to flush out the wound," I ordered, searching for the morphine in the medical supply box.

The crunching of newspapers answered my order.

"I thought his wound was already clean," Sebastian stated questioningly.

I grabbed the vial of morphine and a needle before I turned to where Sebastian was laying Ciel on top of the newspapers which were strewn about the bed.

"This wound needs some extra flushing," I said steadily as I measured out the proper amount of morphine into the needle, "The knife he was cut with was coated with a poison that prevents the blood from clotting. His wound is deep, but not deep enough that he would still be bleeding."

Sebastian looked up at me as he poured water over Ciel's torso, the latter hissing in agony as the butler prodded fresh blood from the wound.

"When my father and I were working for Lord Carson, he was trying to impress me and gave me a demonstration of the compound. It soon became his favorite method of execution. He said there was something satisfying about knowing that his enemies would die a slow, agonizing death."

"Hmmm," Sebastian hummed as he watched me insert the needle into Ciel's arm and inject the morphine, "I can appreciate the sentiment."

"As can I," I agreed under my breath.

I glanced up at Sebastian, who flashed a wickedly pleased grin at my confession. He poured some more water over Ciel's torso, though I noticed that he did not flinch as much this time. Good. The morphine must have started taking hold.

"That should be enough," I stated, holding up a staying hand before he could flush the wound out again, "We need to apply pressure to stop the bleeding."

I had turned, looking about for a something suitable to use for staunching the flow of blood, when I heard Ciel give out another cry, cursing under his breath. I whipped around to find that Sebastian had already done so and was currently leaning over his master, his brow furrowed with concern as he splayed his hands over Ciel's chest, pressing the soiled cotton of his lordship's shirt firmly against the wound.

Once I had assured myself that Sebastian had things under control for the moment, I began prepping to stitch up the wound. A tense silence descended upon us in the minutes that followed, save for the ticking of the clock on the mantle and Ciel's labored breathing. Occasionally I would glance up from my work, nervously biting my lip as I watched Ciel struggling to remain conscious. His inability to maintain a constant rhythm of breath was concerning. Perhaps I shouldn't have given him the morphine. I shook my head as I returned to sit by Ciel's side, correcting my doubts. The morphine was necessary for what I was about to do.

As the bed moved slightly as I sat down, Ciel turned to look at me, his visible eye only half opened.

"Why…do I feel so…tired?" he asked between breaths.

I smiled gently down at him, tenderly cupping his cheek with my right hand.

"It is the morphine," I softly replied, stroking his cheek with by thumb, "Don't fight it. We won't allow any harm to come to you."

Had Ciel had all his faculties about him, he probably would have pulled away, resisting any comfort I offered. However, in his vulnerable state, he had no such inhibitions. Instead, he leaned his head into my touch, his eye closing as a slight smile tugged at his lips. My heart clenched with an unexpected pain, tears pricking my eyes as I gazed down at him. For the first time since I had returned, it was not Earl Phantomhive before me, but Ciel…my Ciel. I would have given anything to bring him back permanently, but I knew it was a foolish hope.

Beside me I heard Sebastian shuffle on the bed and I turned towards the butler, a mournful smile on my lips. His eyes searched mine for a moment, his brow creased slightly in apparent confusion as to my reaction. **Oh, that's right** , I reminded myself, **I am his first real friend**.

"Is there something wrong?" he asked.

I shook my head, blinking away the tears.

"No," I replied simply then, gesturing to the blood soaked garment, added, "The bleeding should have stopped by now."

We both looked down, holding our breath in anticipation as Sebastian carefully peeled the soiled shirt back. I glanced up to Ciel's face, relieved when he made no movement or sound in response to our actions. The morphine had finally taken over. As soon as the wound was visible, I carefully inspected it, Sebastian holding a candle close so I could get a better view.

"It's stopped," I sighed with relief.

I looked over to Sebastian who appeared to be just as relieved, if not more so, as I. Without needing my prompting, he removed a handkerchief from his waistcoat and dipped it in the remaining water, gingerly cleaning the skin around the wound.

After he had finished, I immediately set to the grueling task of stitching the wound closed. I held my breath in trepidation with each insertion of the needle into his flesh, fearful Ciel would awaken. Fortunately, my fears were unfounded and a nerve wracking half an hour later, Sebastian cut the string so I could tie the end of the string to finish my work.

I sighed heavily, my hands dropping to my lap with exhaustion as I leaned against one of the posts of the four poster bed.

"Well done," Sebastian complemented, proffering a smile of approval as he inspected my handiwork.

I leaned my head back against the post, closing my eyes as I breathed out a weary, "Thank you."

I kept my eyes closed, even when I heard the sound of Sebastian's light footed steps come around the bed. I jerked, my eyes snapping open when he placed his hand gently on my shoulder.

"Come," he whispered softly, "I'll draw you a bath."

I was about to object on the grounds that I was too exhausted, but one look at my blood stained bandages and night gown silenced me into acquiescence.

Without another word, I followed him from Ciel's chambers and down the hall to the bathing room. I was surprised by his suggestion, given that servants typically would not be permitted to use the noble's bathing room, but I did not question it. After the week I had lived through in his absence, I felt I had earned it.

I stared at the tub longingly as I closed the door behind us, watching as Sebastian went over and turned the handles, the sound of rushing water echoing off the tiled floor. He turned as I silently joined him by his side, gazing at the crystal clear water as it rippled in the bright moonlight that filtered through the large window that sat parallel to the tub. I did not flinch as he reached out his hands, wrapping his fingers around my slender wrists before he slowly began to rotate my arms as he inspected my bandages more closely. I had forgotten how much I had missed his touch.

"Once you have finished bathing, I would like to examine your injuries," he said, gingerly fingering my throat, causing me to wince, "And I expect a full explanation of what has transpired while my master and I were away."

I nodded in response, my gaze flitting over his uncharacteristically disheveled appearance.

"You should clean up, too," I whispered softly, my gaze meeting his as I looked up at him.

Warmth pooled inside me as he flashed a mischievous smile, his brow quirking suggestively.

"Are you suggesting that we bathe together?" he purred.

I blanched at his question, a much different heat rushing to my cheeks as I stammered, "N-no!"

He chuckled darkly, clearly pleased at having caught me off-guard.

"Well, if not," he began, taking my braid loosely between his fingers before he let it slide to rest on my right shoulder once more, "why don't you go ahead and bathe? I will see to my lord's chambers and clean up myself. Then I will return with a fresh change of clothes for you."

I nodded again, offering him a grateful smile. After all that had happened tonight, his care was more than welcome. Sebastian bowed his head toward me slightly before turning the water off and making his leave.

When I heard him close the door, I began to clumsily undo the buttons of my nightgown. Though I could tell my fingers were healing, they were still stiff and would ache whenever I maneuvered them too much. As I undid the last button, I shrugged off the heavy flannel garment. It fell to the floor with a woosh and I couldn't help but wrap my arms around my torso as the cool air of the room made my skin prickle with gooseflesh. Not wanting to waste another minute outside the welcoming warmth of the tub, I quickly removed my bandages, letting them fall to the floor as well. Out of the corner if my vision, I noticed some movement as I stepped out of my panties. My head snapped to the left, only to realize that I was staring at my reflection.

I stepped slowly towards the full length mirror, shocked by my appearance. In the cool light of the moon, the deep blue and purple bruises that stained my neck and right cheek glared hideously against my pale skin, the various cuts that littered my hands and forearms and the long gash on my left shoulder almost looking black. That, along with the dark circles that had begun to develop underneath my eyes and the blood that was caked on my body at random intervals, I probably could have passed as one of the living dead. I sighed as I began undoing my braid.

"What a mess."

I shook my head as I stole one last glance at my form before walking over to the tub. A satisfied sigh escaped my lips as I eased myself into the hot water, feeling it instantly begin to soothe the tension from my tired and aching muscles. To my surprise my thoughts remained focused on the task at hand, rather than running rampant in recalling all of the events that had transpired in the course of the nighttime hours. For which I was thankful…I was too exhausted for much introspection.

The next fifteen minutes were spent in blissful simplicity as I soaked and scrubbed myself clean. I hummed a lighthearted tune, finding that the bath had been rather rejuvenating as I rested my chin on my arms that were propped on my knees. I continued humming as I watched the water swirl down the drain like a miniature tidal pool. A shiver went down my spine as the cool air brushed up against my skin once more. Without hesitating, I turned on the water and, cupping my hands, I splashed the clean water against my skin, relishing in the warmth. As I turned the water off, a series of knocks came at the door. I froze, momentarily forgetting Sebastian had said he would return.

"Sarah, it is Sebastian. May I come in?" his velvety voice called through the door.

His voice shocked me from my stupor and I looked down at my naked body, a faint flush warming my cheeks.

"One moment, please," I called back, clamoring to get out of the tub quickly.

Apparently a little too quickly as I stumbled a few times, my wet feet slipping on the tiled floor as I rushed to retrieve a towel. Fortunately I did not fall. I would never live it down if Sebastian burst in to make sure I was not hurt only to find my naked body sprawled out on the floor, no secrets left hidden.

"Come in," I called from behind the dressing shade after I had dried my hair, wrapping the towel securely around my body.

My heart skipped a beat when I heard the click of the doorknob being turned. I frantically double checked the corner of the towel, making sure it was tucked in securely, as I heard Sebastian's measured footsteps approach.

"Would you care to step out from behind the shade?" Sebastian asked, causing me to jump as I hadn't realized how close he had come.

My brow furrowed at his request, "Shouldn't I dress first?"

"Clothing would hinder my inspection of your wounds." he quickly replied.

My pulse quickened as I found my feet conveying me around the cover of the shade before my mind had an opportunity to agree. As I rounded the corner my gaze immediately fell on Sebastian, who looked as perfectly put together as he always did. I nervously clenched my hands, biting my lip as I found myself standing before the scrutinizing gaze of the butler. Though I tried to maintain an outward air of indifference, I fought against the urge to seek refuge behind the shade once more and I found myself wishing that I had taken another shot or two of Bard's whisky-lowered inhibitions would lessen the tension of this situation. No matter what I had fantasized about being with the butler, now that I was placed in a situation where, for all intents and purposes, I was practically naked, I wanted nothing more than to take my clothes and run. Standing before him in such a manner made me feel raw and exposed, every muscle in my body taut as I stood poised like prey before its predator. I hated it. I wanted to be suave and confident, matching his finesse in a tantalizing battle for dominance and perhaps a week ago I would have done so. However, this past week had shattered any sense of normalcy and security I had gained in my months of living here-a stark reminder of how powerless I was against the powers that lurked in the shadows, waiting patiently for an opportunity to claim me once more.

"Come now," Sebastian soothed, delicately curving his finger under my chin, tilting my head up to look at him. I tensed, inhaling sharply at his touch. His eyes softened before he continued in the same low, soothing voice, "There is no reason to fear. I shall not harm you."

As the comforting words left his lips, my shoulders relaxed, my pulse slowing to return to some semblance of normal as I gazed into his strangely hued eyes, my body realizing before my mind that I believed him. A gentle smile graced his lips as he lowered his hand.

"That's a good girl. Now," he paused, gesturing to a chair on my left, "would you please take a seat?"

I hesitantly nodded before obediently stepping over to the chair, maintaining a firm grip on the bottom of the towel, as it kept trying to part wider than I wanted as I sat. I did not want that much of my upper thigh to be exposed. Sebastian followed close behind, kneeling before me after I was seated and immediately set to work, rifling through the contents of the medical box he had brought. I watched with curiosity as I noticed this box was different than the one I was accustomed to using. It was much smaller and was not filled with many vials of medicine, rather it was mostly filled with bandages and only two larger bottles that contained curious looking darkly hued spherical objects which I assumed were pills of some sort.

"I will forewarn you that this medicine requires a slightly unorthodox oral application," he said, removing the lid of the bottle with a low pop, pouring a few of the pills into his gloved hand.

I quirked my brow questioningly, wondering what he meant. A deep chuckle rumbled from his chest when I opened my mouth as he brought the pills up to my face.

"No, no," he chided amusedly, "I will apply the salve orally."

My cheeks grew warm at his explanation, "What do you mean?" I asked nervously.

"Like so," he answered, before tossing the pills into his mouth.

As he chewed them, they crunched with a painfully loud noise and I wondered to myself how he did not break some teeth in the process. Though the greater curiosity I had was how he was planning on applying the salve. No sooner had the question formed in my mind, when Sebastian carefully took my wrist in his hand, rotating my forearm so the wounded skin of my underarm faced him before leaning in and grazing his tongue along the sensitive flesh.

I gasped, my eyes widening as I jerked my arm from his grasp, about to chastise him for being so forward when I looked down at my arm. My lips parted slightly in amazement as I ghosted my fingers over my skin, which was no longer tender or inflamed, but rather appeared its normal porcelain. Even the cuts the glass had made appeared to be smaller.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked innocently, gazing up at me with a subtly challenging look that was far from innocent.

"This is incredible!" I breathed with amazement, ignoring his question, "How did you..-?" I started to ask when Sebastian interrupted.

"The key is the saliva. It activates chemicals that accelerate the healing process," he explained, an irrepressible smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, "I applied the same salve to assist your healing before. Why else would you have recovered so quickly?"

My fingers subconsciously moved to my thigh to where, despite the severity of the wound I received, there was no scar to mar my skin.

"Wait!" I exclaimed as the realization struck me, "You mean you…-?!"

I paused mid-thought, the heat of embarrassment rushing to my cheeks and down my neck as my mind recalled once when I had awoken in a daze to find Sebastian in the room with me, remembering the strange yet soothing sensation along all of the injured parts of my body. I squirmed internally, both embarrassed and aroused in equal parts at the thought of all the places on my body his tongue had touched.

"I promise nothing unsavory occurred," he answered, attempting unsuccessfully to muffle an amused chuckle as he tried to placate my concern.

Before I could respond, he took the same wrist in his hand, turning it towards his lips before adding, "Now that you know what to expect, should we continue?"

I bit my lip, hesitating for a moment. What excuse could I give should one of the servants walk in on us? They already thought we were lovers. My eyes trailed down to my arm, my logical train of thought reminding me that, in light of the medical benefits, such activities were worth the risk. Then, a much darker portion of my mind drew my attention to the warmth that had subtly been growing within me, whispering seductively that I should do it just for the thrill of his tongue on my body.

"Yes," I whispered, my response rushed before I snapped my mouth shut before I could change my mind.

He smirked a darkly before he drew my wrist closer to his lips, his breath fluttering over my skin, closing his eyes before trailing his tongue along my wrist and palm of my hand. My stomach tensed as I watched as he delicately traced my skin, handling me as if I were something fragile and precious. Though, I noted as one by one his tongue cupped each of my slender fingers, his tongue flicking the end of each digit as he finished, that I wanted him to handle me in a much less delicate manner.

The sensuality of this moment didn't seem to be lost on Sebastian, either, given how meticulous he was in his ministrations as he finished with my right arm and moved to tend to the left one. With each second that passed, the ache and pain from my wounds abated, replaced by the forbidden burning of desire and arousal.

I froze and gripped the arms of the chair, a pang of want issuing from the aching need between my legs, as he adjusted slightly and flicked his tongue over the gash on my left shoulder. Not allowing me time to recover, he turned his attention to my cheek. A shiver of pleasure trickled down my spine and I closed my eyes as he gripped my knees gently, rubbing comforting circles on my skin as he eased my legs apart so he could settle between them, doing so providing him easier access to my face and neck.

A sigh of relief escaped my lips as the soreness from my cheek disappeared in an instant. At that noise, I felt Sebastian stiffen, his grip on my knees momentarily tightening. I relished in his reaction, pleased to know this was tempting him as much as it was me. I gripped the arms of the chair so tight my knuckles turned white as I resisted the urge to reach out and grab hold of him, though that resolve was quickly crumbling.

I stifled a groan of disappointment as he pulled away. My eyes fluttered open, my heart skipping a beat when I saw the raw intensity of desire smoldering in his eyes.

"Do you wish for me to continue?" he asked, he voice a little rough as he began speaking, though it returned to normal by the time he finished his question.

My brow furrowed in confusion at his question. In response, he reached and gingerly touched my throat, careful not to hurt me.

"The neck is a rather sensual area to be touched," he began, his gaze following the trail his fingers took along my skin, causing another shiver to go down my spine, "I wanted to ensure you were comfortable with me touching you in such an intimate manner before we proceeded."

I adjusted in my seat, surprised by the warm slickness that had collected between my legs. I briefly wondered is this was normal, as I had never experienced such a sensation before. However, any reservation was swept aside as my eyes met his, the desire that remained in his crimson pools mirroring my own.

"You would not be the first to do so," I answered, taken aback by the brief flicker of anger that appeared on Sebastian's face at that admittance, "And they were unable to move me to feeling. The experience was rather dull, actually."

A smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth as he popped a couple more pills in his mouth, crunching them quickly before leaning in, accurately taking my subtle challenge as permission.

"Oh, I believe this will be anything but dull," he purred, titling my head back as he glided his tongue from the base of my throat to my chin, following along my esophagus.

I gasped when I felt something pop, realizing when I was able to breathe normally that something must have been damaged along my airway. The relief only lasted the briefest of moments, however, for as Sebastian continued, a ravenous hunger stronger than any I had felt before took the foremost place in my mind. Each inch of skin he touched tingled with electricity. My breath became shallow and my heart thundered within my chest as he worked his way down the left side of my neck.

As he reached the base, he flicked his tongue on a particularly sensitive spot. My back arched, causing my body to press against his, my hands grabbing fistfuls of his shirt as the most sensual sound that I had ever uttered passed my parted lips.

"Sebastian!"

As soon as his name passed my lips, I was shoved forcefully back in the chair, Sebastian's fingers entangling in my damp hair while his other hand guided my right leg to hook behind him, his fingers causing gooseflesh to rise where they ghosted across the newly exposed skin. A low growl rumbled from his chest when he traced the back of my knee with his fingers as he moved to the right side of my neck, the sensation causing my leg to spasm, momentarily forcing his hips against mine, eliciting a soft moan from him. I gasped as a wave of pleasure washed over me, the towel beginning to slowly inch down my torso as our bodies pressed together again.

A moment later Sebastian froze and I could have sworn there was a flash of light, at least that is what it seemed like, but I couldn't be sure as my eyes had been closed. I slowly opened my eyes as Sebastian pulled away, huffing with frustration.

"Is everything all right?" I asked, my brow dipping in concern, worried it was something I had done.

"My lord is requesting my presence," he answered, his voice still husky with desire.

I frowned at his explanation. I hadn't heard anything. Though, admittedly, I don't know that I would have heard anything other than our mutual labored breathing and gasps of pleasure. I ran my hand through my hair, righting the towel's placement on my body as Sebastian rose, turning his back to me as he straightened his shirt and waistcoat. My brain was still coming down from the foggy haze of passion, my thoughts spinning frantically to make sense of what just happened.

Sebastian cleared his throat, pulling me from the chaotic musings, before turning around and returning to my side, bandages in hand.

"Now you should keep these on for the next couple of days to allow the salve to fully work," he instructed, his voice now normal, as he began to bind my wounds with fresh bandages.

"Thank you," I whispered as he finished.

He proffered a small smile as I rose from the chair.

"Would you mind phoning Madame Red? I am sure that my lord would prefer her care moving forward."

I nodded in agreement, walking over to retrieve my clothes from the powder table that sat nearby.

"Very good," Sebastian approved, his eyes roaming over my body when he thought I wasn't looking, before adding, "Well then, I shall see to my young master. After you have phoned, you should try to get some rest if you can. It has been a long night."

I smiled gratefully at his words. Now that I was coming down from my aroused high, my body began to acutely feel the weight of exhaustion. I would be glad for the sleep.

"What about you?"

With a dismissing shake of his head, he replied, "Do not concern yourself. I will be fine."

With that, Sebastian turned to make his leave and I to change into my clothes. However, when I heard the door open, I turned back.

"Sebastian," I called.

He paused in the doorway, turning back towards me, tilting his head in silent question.

"Yes?"

An innocent warmth warmed my cheeks, an affectionate smile lighting my face as I said, "I am glad you are back."

My heart swelled as he offered a warm smile in return.

"As am I."


	14. His Butler: Informed

**Author's Note:**

Hello, lovelies! Welcome to another update Friday.

I want to thank everyone who has taken the time to read, favorite, or follow this story. Whether you have been here since day one or are just now joining in, your interest and support is greatly appreciated. A special shout out to all those who left a review for chapter thirteen: **alexandriasutherland98, Trinnerti, Aservis Roturier, Akuma-Sama2002, nightmooncat, and Misia0123.** I am so pleased that you all enjoyed the chapter. I hope this new one continues to meet your expectations. I aim to please.

I confess that I have not been as productive writing this week as I should have been because I have been sucked into Attack on Titan and watching the anime for that has been consuming most of my free time (because it's _awesome!_ ). And I'm finding it difficult not to start a fanfic about that one as well. Would you all be interested if I did? Anyway, I will do everything in my power to have another chapter ready for you next Friday. But know that it was an exercise of great self-control in order to make it happen, lol.

Well, enough rambling from me. Please proceed and enjoy!

 **Chapter Fourteen: His Butler-Informed**

"One...two…three!"

Finny and I grunted as the boiling water sloshed loudly into the large washing basin, mixing with the soap in the bottom. I sighed, wiping the moisture from my brow from where the rising steam clung to my face.

"Thank you," I said, smiling as I patted the young gardener on the shoulder, "Getting the wash ready for the laundry would have been impossible without your help."

Finny gave a sheepish grin before looking away, a modest blush dusting his cheeks.

"Aw, thanks. T'was no trouble."

I shook my head amusedly as I began stir the water to ensure all of the soap had mixed in with the washing water. The first time I had done the laundry I had not been as meticulous and the clothes ended up with large spots of soap deposits on them. For which I had received a lengthy lecture from Sebastian, who proceeded to insist I repeat the process again. He did not allow me to retire that night until one in the morning when he was finally convinced I had learned my lesson. I had cursed his name when I had to rise less than three hours later to begin my day, refusing to speak to him as retribution for his inconsiderate request the night before. Though, I eventually relented when I found out later that day that Sebastian had stumbled upon me, curled up deep in slumber by the fireplace in the parlor when I had accidentally drifted off, and had let me be, rather choosing to finish my duties for the afternoon than reprimand me for slacking.

"Well, either way, I am glad for your help."

Soap bubbles sudded up on the surface of the water as I continued to stir, the faint scent of roses in the air. I continued this exercise for another couple of minutes until I was thoroughly convinced the water was ready. As I turned to grab the first basket of linens, I jumped when I saw Finny had not moved from where he had been standing. I had assumed he had left, but he had not. Rather he stood, staring at the washing basin, his bottom lip turned downward and quivering as tears welled up in his emerald eyes.

"Finny?" I asked softly as I approached him, "What is the matter?"

He slowly turned his gaze towards me, a couple of mournful hiccups escaping his lips as the tears began streaming down his cheeks. Before I could offer any comforting words to prevent an outburst, a pained wail issued from the young gardener, who then proceeded to wrap his arms around me, pulling me into a tighter than comfortable embrace while he sobbed into my chest. I started and looked down at the top of his head, finding myself completely at a loss as to what had provoked him so. After a moment I recovered, a gentle smile on my lips as I wrapped my arms around his petite frame, soothingly stroking his golden locks while he mumbled incoherently.

"Come now, I cannot understand you when you're crying into me like that," I gently prodded.

For a brief moment Finny's sobs ceased. He pulled back, but not enough to break our embrace, the edges of his eyes already tinged with pink and slightly swollen from crying, his long, thick lashes glistening with tears.

Gazing up at me, he hiccupped a few times as he tried to regain the composure to speak before he began, his voice wavering, "I…I don't wish to speak ill of our master, but…," he trailed off, his bottom lip quivering once more as fresh tears began to pour down his face. A fresh wave of sobs came over him and he pulled me tight once more, his voice rising in frustration and sorrow, "But why did he have to send Minerva away? She wasn't better yet! That was so cruel! I can't believe he did that."

My heart tugged as he began to sob even harder than before, his body trembling against mine. It was astounding to me that he had such a tender heart, still somehow innocent, despite the cruelty he had seen. Even though his former "masters" had been merciless in their treatment of him-all of the experiments, all of the tests of his abilities, all of the terrible things they had coerced him into doing. He had been treated like an animal, a test subject, and not the sixteen year old boy he was. Yet, in the face of all of this, he had an almost inhuman capacity for compassion. Though, I suppose it may have been what drove it.

I leaned my cheek against the top of his head, rubbing small circles on his back as I explained in a soothing voice, "Minerva had to go, Finny. His lordship is allergic to cats and, with his injuries, he cannot risk opening them with constant sneezing and coughing. But don't worry over her. She'll be fine. She still comes back every day to be fed."

At this, Finny pulled away once more, his sobs subsiding to gentler sniffs as he looked up at me, his gaze hopeful at my words.

"Really?" he asked, his voice still shaky.

I nodded, smiling reassuringly down at him.

"That is what Sebastian had told me. I'd wager if you catch him on a good day, he might even let you join him when he goes to feed her."

An overjoyed smile lit up his face as he gasped excitedly.

"Do you think so?!"

My smile widened as I tried to suppress my laughter at the sudden change of his demeanor.

"It is worth a try. Now," I paused, taking a handkerchief from my pocket and handing it to Finny, "you should make yourself presentable and get back to work."

"Right!" he agreed, enthusiastically taking my handkerchief before rushing from the room with renewed vigor.

I shook my head, chuckling to myself as I put my hands on my hips before I turned from where Finny had just left and set back to the task at hand. The laundry was such a small room that it did not take long before the steam from the washing basin made the air in the room hot and stifling. Sweat beaded on my nose and trickled down my neck, causing some loose hairs to stick to my face and my clothes to cling to my skin. I huffed as I wiped my brow before securing the last of the laundry on the lines to finish drying.

"Oh.," I deflated as I turned to see the washing basin that was now filled with grimy water, desperately needing to be emptied and cleaned.

"Well, there's nothing for it," I sighed, rolling up my sleeves and giving the basin a hearty push.

Several minutes later I had pushed the washing basin the short distance from the laundry to the scullery and had managed, with several unflattering grunts and groans, to somehow hoist it onto the counter. I rested a few moments, catching my breath with labored pants, before I carefully tipped the cumbersome copper basin and began to steadily pour the water out as to ensure there was no further mess made.

As the murky water gurgled down the drain, the smooth movement of the water lulled me into a trance just as it had in the tub three nights ago. My shoulders tensed as other images of that night flitted through my mind, warmth pooling inside at the remembrance of our mixing groans of passion. In the days following, neither Sebastian nor I had addressed the events of that night, though for his part, I did not know why. Perhaps he was just at much of a loss to reconcile all of his feelings towards it as I was.

On one hand, there was something thrilling and deeply satisfying about what we had shared. To know that Sebastian felt at least some sort of attraction towards me was gratifying and somewhat flattering. I had never expected his flirtations to be of any merit, as I did not see myself as someone worth pursuing, especially by someone like him. But along with those unadulterated benefits came the burr that cut both ways, the passion, the raw, unbridled desire he had made me feel was intoxicating…and addicting. With each passing day, my need for him only continued grow. It was an insatiable hunger that begged for release…release that could not be granted. It frightened me to realize how strong of a hold he had on me in such a short amount of time. In a moment of weakness, when I was exhausted and in pain, I had allowed myself to be irreversibly vulnerable with him. Had I not been in such a state, I might have had the wits about me to not have allowed my guard down so easily. Perhaps I would have insisted on putting on more clothing, even if it meant it would have been more difficult for him to tend to my wounds. Perhaps I would not have allowed him to inspect my wounds, insisting that Bard had done a well enough job, and remained resolutely behind the safe cover of the dressing shade. Though that did not matter now, I reminded myself, what was done was done. I had made a foolish mistake, one that I had determined I would not make again, no matter how much my body begged for it.

I stiffened, all previous thoughts swept away as I felt someone place a firm hand on my back.

"My, you've worked up quite a sweat."

A cry of surprise escaped my lips as I jolted in surprise at Sebastian's voice. The basin clattered loudly as it fell in the sink, the remaining water sloshing into the sink and splashing up onto the surrounding countertop. I whipped around to face the butler, who feigned surprise at my reaction.

"Oh dear, I did not mean to startle you so."

My lips pressed together into a firm line, my brow dipping slightly in annoyance as my chest heaved as I attempted to calm my racing heart. I was about to scold him about how he was lucky I had not reached for my guns. However, I said nothing, much to his satisfaction.

"Here," he said, his voice soft and soothing as he approached with a damp handkerchief I hadn't noticed him produce.

I backed away as he approached, only to find myself caught between the sink and Sebastian's body. My heart pounded in my chest as I felt our bodies brush together, ever so slightly, causing my hunger to reignite. I gripped the sink to keep my hands from reaching out and pulling him against me just before he hooked a finger underneath my chin, gently tipping it upward to direct my gaze toward him.

"Let's get you cleaned up. The young master has requested to see you."

My brow quirked questioningly, fighting against my subconscious desire to lean into his touch as he caressed my cheek with the damp cloth, the coolness of the handkerchief refreshing. I glanced up, his eyes capturing mine. I searched for any sign of explanation of this unexpected gentle gesture, but found none. For the most part since they had returned, other than that night, nothing had changed in Sebastian's actions towards me-he was still flirtatious, still a demanding leader when it came to our work, and I still considered him as a friend. However, he had begun to show a tenderness towards me of which I did not know he was capable. Of all of passion and reckless desire he had stirred within me, it was his tenderness that tempted me the most. I closed my eyes as he passed the cloth over my forehead and down to my other cheek, the sensation pulling me back to reality.

"What does he want?"

For a moment, Sebastian gave no answer, his gaze breaking away from mine to follow the path of the handkerchief as he lightly grazed it over my chin. I tensed as he paused a moment before he ghosted the cloth over my lips. My cheeks flushed with anticipation as I saw the stirrings of desire in the depths of his eyes, my body yearning to respond in kind.

 **Stop!** A more reasonable portion of my thoughts interjected, finally managing to take control, and I reached up, firmly grasping his wrist before easing his hand away from my face. For the briefest of moments, I thought I saw his eyes flash with a pent up annoyance, but it left as quickly as it had come, so I could not be sure.

"Sebastian," I began, my voice calm and steady, "what does his lordship want with me?"

I released my hold on his wrist, busying my hands with straightening my apron while he gave a slight tug at his waistcoat.

"I will allow him the opportunity to reveal that information," he answered cryptically, running his fingers through his onyx shaded hair before he continued, "Though he did request that he see you before Mr. Woodley arrives, so we should not delay."

With that, he turned on his heel and exited the room, seemingly having returned to normal, which left me little time to remove my soiled apron before scurrying to catch up with him.

I huffed when I did, shooting him a reproving look as I hastily straightened my cap, tucking in the loose strands of hair where I could. If Sebastian had noticed, which I was certain that he had, he did not acknowledge it.

"Regarding Mr. Woodley's visit," I began, turning to him as we arrived outside of Ciel's chambers, "I was wondering where you would like me to meet with him. I know in these circumstances the housekeeper's room would typically be used, but seeing as we do not have one…,"

"I believe my office should suffice," he answered, opening the door before adding, "I will prepare some tea in anticipation of his arrival."

I nodded, offering a quiet "Thank you" before I entered the room, Sebastian's soft footsteps growing faint as he made his way down the hall.

"Well, it took you long enough," Ciel complained as I quietly closed the door behind me.

I forced a cordial smile to my face as I turned to where the little Earl sat, propped up by a mountain of pillows. Sebastian had grumbled when we were sharing our nightly drinks about how, despite being an annoyance on a typical day, Ciel had become downright insufferable-full of nothing but complaints about his discomfort. I saw now as I looked upon him that Sebastian had not been exaggerating.

"I came as soon as Sebastian informed me that you had called for me, my lord."

He huffed and turned his face away as I approached, choosing to glare out the window rather than responding. Though his irksome attitude had already chaffed me, I was relieved that he appeared to be so well, as this was the first time I had seen him since that night. As expected, once Angelina had arrived later that morning, Ciel officially dismissed me from tending to his wounds, only allowing Sebastian and Angelina to look in on him. So no one, save those two had seen him since the early hours of Monday morning. I had wondered if I would be called upon to assist with his recovery as Angelina had returned to London this morning, having been contacted by the hospital to provide relief to the other doctors who had been dealing with a widespread outbreak of pneumonia. At least, I assumed that was why I was here.

In the late morning light, I could tell that his skin tone had returned to normal and the signs of a healthy flush to his cheeks was beginning to appear, though I noted that dark circles had begun to appear underneath his eyes.. Angelina had done fine work. His hair was no longer dull and haphazardly clinging to his face, but neatly combed, the normal sheen shimmering in the light. His soiled clothing had been exchanged for a crisp, fresh nightshirt.

As I approached the bed, he finally decided to turn towards me, his expression returned to his normal cooly impartial gaze.

"You look surprisingly well, my lord," I began, looking down at him from where I stood by his side, "I did not expect to see you so recovered so quickly."

"As do you," he replied, his gaze flitting to where my bandages had been.

I had obediently followed Sebastian's instructions and kept the bandages in place until this morning, though it had been tempting to peek when I rose the morning after Sebastian had tended to my wounds because I no longer felt the stiffness, itchiness, or ache that accompanies healing. I was fully convinced that somehow, though I did not know how, the salve had completely healed them in a few hours. So it had been no surprise to me when I had removed the bandages to find that my skin had returned to normal and, like my previous wounds, there were no scars marking where my flesh had been marred.

I patiently waited for Ciel to continue, expecting him to immediately begin to divulge the reason for calling me here, seeing how, to my knowledge, he still desired to be in my presence as little as possible. However, I was surprised when he turned to look out the window once more, as if stalling. Giving him a few more moments to continue the conversation, I finally decided to speak when he did not.

"How are you feeling, my lord?"

He heaved a frustrated sigh, both his shoulders and the corners of his mouth drooping at my question.

"Not well enough. The discomfort is preventing me from getting any quality of sleep. And Madame Red informed me that it would take about a week before I could begin to resume my normal activities."

I offered an encouraging smile as he turned to look at me once more, softly replying, "Most earl's would enjoy having a week away from their duties. It would be almost like a holiday."

"Perhaps," he began, his brow dipping in a deep frown at my words, before his eyes found mine with sudden intensity, "Though I am no ordinary Earl. I have far too much to do to play the part of an invalid for a week."

I opened my mouth to reply when the door opened, Sebastian stepping into the room a moment later.

"Enough idle chatter," Ciel said, changing the subject as the butler approached us to stand by my side. His gaze slid from me to Sebastian as he continued, "We should get to the matter at hand."

Sebastian nodded, reaching inside his jacket to retrieve an envelope before extending it to me. I took it hesitantly, my gaze questioning as I looked up at him. His returning gaze gave away no hint of information, so I carefully opened the envelope and unfolded the letter within, my eyes skimming over the contents.

"In light of the information my lord has been able to provide Her Majesty, she has decided that Lord Carson can no longer be trusted to act in the interest of the Empire," Sebastian explained as I read the letter the Queen had written to Ciel more closely.

My gaze flitted up to Sebastian, before I clarified, "In other words, she wants you to kill him."

"Yes," Ciel confirmed as I folded the letter and placed it back in the envelope, "As discreetly as possible. His death is to have no connection to Her Majesty."

I looked from Ciel to Sebastian and back again, hoping either one of them would finally divulge why I was being included in this scheme. When neither one of them did, I decided to press the matter.

"I see. But why inform me, my lord?"

I stared at the little Earl, expecting him to answer, but, to my surprise, it was Sebastian who began to speak.

"You have worked closely with Lord Carson in the past and have more intimate knowledge of his personality. Knowledge that would prove useful in handling his disposal," he paused, shooting Ciel a reproving look, I assumed to silently scold him for not involving me sooner. The latter frowned in return before he continued, "You will be consulted in order to determine the best course of action, given what you know about the lord."

It took every bit of self control I had not to smirk with satisfaction at Sebastian's words. There was something satisfying about Ciel having to, I was sure in his eyes, lower himself to ask for my assistance. I was suddenly thankful for what had happened to him since it had seemed to open his eyes to reason, without me having to risk my post by calling him out on his stubborn stupidity.

"I would be glad to offer whatever assistance I can," I offered, turning back to Ciel, my mind already concocting potential scenarios, "Do you have any ideas?"

He shrugged nonchalantly, "I was considering hosting a small dinner party. It should be fairly easy to separate him from the group and eliminate him when the chance presents itself."

I frowned slightly, shaking my head in objection.

"Now that he knows what information you have acquired about his activities, he will be hesitant to accept such an invitation, especially to such an intimate gathering. I would suggest hosting a ball instead. It would provide you the access you need and offer a venue where he would not feel as threatened."

"Wouldn't that complicate things by creating more witnesses?" Ciel questioned skeptically.

"Technically yes, but in this case, no. Not only will more witnesses provide the peace of mind he would need to attend, but they would help to offer the cover we need to execute this plan successfully. The more guests, the more easily a single man can be slipped away from the crowd, but when he leaves, there will be more witnesses to confirm he left of his own power."

"Hmmm," Sebastian hummed, bringing his hand to his chin in consideration. His gaze slid to me, his eyes glinting with subtle approval before he added, "So you plan to poison him?"

I did not try to hide the smirk that played my lips this time.

"The irony of such a demise was too much to resist," I quipped, a smirk appearing on Sebastian's face that mirrored my own, "Plus it is the most practical solution. Poisoning is much easier to cover up as a natural death, which would achieve the discreet assassination the Queen requested."

As I finished my explanation, a wickedly mischievous smile flashed on the butler's face.

"My, what a wicked little thing you are," he purred.

My cheeks grew warm with the bright flush that came to my cheeks, warmth pooling below at his words.

Beside me, Ciel sputtered for a moment before he recovered, his tone reproving as he shouted, "Sebastian!"

Before he could continue, a series of knocks sounded at the door. We all turned to where the noise had originated to see Tanaka enter the room, bowing slightly towards us.

"Pardon the intrusion, my lord, but Mr. Woodley has arrived."

"Thank you, Tanaka," Ciel nodded in acknowledgement, dismissing the house steward before turning his attention towards me, "That is all for now. We will discuss the matter further later."

I curtseyed, accepting that I would receive no formal apology for his stubborn negligence other than this.

"Yes, my lord."

With that, I turned and made my leave, following Sebastian out into the hallway. As we continued our journey to his office, I stole a quick glance at the butler, who walked closer to me than he had before he left, his stance protective as he moved beside me. A subtle smile tugged at my lips as I returned my gaze to the hallway before me as we began to descend the servant's stairs.

True to my word, I had recounted the events of the attack to Sebastian the afternoon after their return, when he found me in the servant's hall during some free time I had somehow managed, finally tending to a couple of loose buttons on one of Bard's shirts. Bard had asked me if I could fix them several weeks ago, but had never had a moment to myself that was long enough that I could do so. I had been hoping someone else might tend to it, since sewing buttons was the extent of my sewing knowledge and I did not want to become the go-to for sewing requests. Sebastian had entered under the pretense of needing to polish his lordship's shoes. Though, once I had begun to relate what had happened, Ciel's shoes were quickly forgotten.

I remembered the fierce look in his eyes, his jaw tensing and shoulders bristling with each passing minute, until he looked absolutely murderous. His acute reaction had come as a surprise, so much so that I had stopped a couple of times in my narrative when I had noticed he had tensed to the point that he was holding his breath. He did not say anything at the time, though I was certain it was because, had he attempted to voice any words, his jaw would have snapped in two. Bard had been the unfortunate party to interrupt our discussion when he entered to see if I would be able to help Mey-Run bathe later that day, as the other maid had not been as fortunate with her healing as I. As soon as his gruff American accent cut the tension in the air like a knife, Sebastian had shot up from his chair and stormed out of the room, looking positively livid as he bumped into the cook. When a few brief moments later the outside door slammed shut with a bang, Bard and I poked our heads out into the hallway, expecting to see the door barely hanging from its hinges. To our relief it had bravely withstood Sebastian's abuse. Bard had cast me a questioning look that asked what was the matter with Sebastian, to which I had shrugged, not wanting to endure the cook's antics if he found out what had set Sebastian off. I did not see Sebastian until dinner that night and when I had asked him later where he had been the rest of the afternoon, he refused to divulge any information, simply saying he had felt a strong need for some fresh air.

"Do you require anything for Mr. Woodley's visit other than the tea?" Sebastian asked as we entered the hallway of the lowest level, his words interrupting my thoughts.

"I don't believe so."

"Very well, then," he began, opening the door to his office, stepping aside to allow me to enter before adding, "I will retrieve our guest and return in a moment."

With that, he turned and departed, leaving me a few moments to get settled. As I surveyed the room, my attention was immediately drawn to where two wingback chairs had been set up at an angle along one of the short walls of the room, with a small table sitting between them on which sat a tray with all the necessary items to serve tea. I nodded with approval as my hand cupped around the teapot to test the warmth of the beverage. As was to be expected with Sebastian's work, the temperature was perfect.

"If you would follow me, Mr. Woodley. My office is this way," I heard Sebastian instruct, the sound of two sets of footsteps drifting down the hallway as they approached.

My lips spread with a welcoming smile as I turned toward the door just in time for Mr. Woodley and Sebastian to appear in the doorway.

"Mr. Woodley," I greeted warmly, curtseying to the middle aged gentleman while I attempted to ignore how his eyes roamed over my figure, "It is a pleasure to see you."

Mr. Woodley had never been an impressive man. It had been his brawn and ability to persuade others to do his bidding rather than his mind that had enabled his success as an arms dealer and, to a lesser extent, as a diamond merchant. That alone would have been enough for me to dismiss his interest, but that paired with his average looks, which he attempted to compensate with gaudy displays of his wealth-such as the large golden rings he wore on each finger today, he was only a desperate man attempting to grasp at something that would forever be beyond his reach.

A cordial smile answered my greeting as he stepped into the room, "The pleasure is all mine. I do apologize for having to reschedule this appointment, but an urgent business matter came up which needed my immediate attention. I do hope I did not offend."

I did not miss the veiled meaning behind his words, but chose to ignore it, choosing to continue the formal pleasantries instead.

"None taken."

His smile dropped a moment later as he turned back to Sebastian, who remained at his post by the door.

"That will be all," he barked, grabbing the doorknob rudely and began to pull the door closed, when Sebastian took hold of the door, an eerily polite smile on his face.

"I do not believe it is proper for a man of your situation to be meeting with an unmarried woman in such a secluded setting," he politely stated, though I could sense the protective undertones to his words.

Mr. Woodley growled and was about to object, when I interrupted.

"It is fine, Sebastian," I reassured him, though I did not miss the brief displeased look he shot me when Mr. Woodley turned his attention back to me, "What Mr. Woodley and I have to discuss is of a private nature."

Sebastian hesitated, but eventually gave a nod of acquiescence.

"As you wish."

With that, he closed the door, though I noted the sour expression on his face as he did so. Admittedly, I did not want to be alone with Mr. Woodley any more than Sebastian did, but I knew he wouldn't be as forthcoming if he felt we were being watched.

"What an insufferable man," Mr. Woodley huffed, shooting the door one last glare as he tugged at the bottom of his suit jacket in frustration.

I smiled warmly, acting as if nothing had happened, gesturing towards the chair, "Would you like to take a seat?"

He accepted my offer without hesitation, heaving an exhausted sigh as he sank into the comfortable embrace of the chair.

"Yes, it is good to be off the road," he grunted, adjusting the heel of his left shoe with the toe of his right one, "I had forgotten how far a journey it was to travel out here."

"Tea?" I inserted as he paused, eyeing me as I went over to the small table.

"Certainly," he agreed and I began to pour the dark tea, careful to be as exact as possible to follow Sebastian's instructions from my previous lessons. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mr. Woodley shiver before he added, "Were there no better rooms where we could have met?"

I did my best not to roll my eyes at his complaint. I had forgotten how self-important he was.

"I apologize, Mr. Woodley," I falsely sympathized, turning to him as I offered him his tea, "However, it would be improper if I received a guest in one of my master's rooms, given my station."

He gladly accepted the tea and saucer, shivering once more.

"I could stoke the fire if that would make you more comfortable," I offered.

He waved a dismissive hand, "That isn't necessary."

At his refusal, I returned, quickly pouring myself a cup before taking the seat opposite of him. Mr. Woodley paused, glancing down at his cup with a surprised approval.

"This is a very nice blend. What is it?"

I brought the cup closer to my face, inhaling deeply as the wisps of steam tickled my cheeks.

"Ah, yes, a Darjeeling blend, imported from India," I paused, taking a sip to verify, nodding in confirmation. "It was delivered last week."

"So I see that even the Phantomhive servants get to reap the benefits of their master desiring the best of the best," he observed, taking a long drink from his cup.

I shrugged slightly, "It can be advantageous at times."

I took a quick sip before continuing, having my fill of the small talk.

"So your letter I received last week intrigued me," I prompted.

A small, amused smile appeared on his bearded face.

"You did always get straight to business," he mumbled, more to himself than me, before he continued, "Your letter caught my attention as well. So the Yard is not giving you the results you desire?"

"As always," I quipped.

Mr. Woodley guffawed at my sardonic response.

"It's a wonder those boys can tell up from down most days. But anyway, I decided to reach out to some of my contacts to see if they could trace where your father's money had disappeared to," he paused, taking a sip of his tea, his grey eyes watching me with interest.

"And?" I prodded, my demeanor indifferent. Though, internally, I could not wait to hear what they had uncovered. The possibility of a lead, plus potential access to more funds was too heartachingly appealing.

"And," he repeated, reaching into his coat and pulling out an envelope, before extending it to me. I sat my tea down, quickly retrieving the envelope and began opening it as he continued, "They found nothing."

I paused, my heart sinking at this revelation. However, it seemed that was not the last of what Mr. Woodley had to say.

"They were able to trace the money all over the globe, from here to France, then to Italy, it remained briefly in America before crossing the sea again to travel to China."

My brow dipped as I attempted to process this information and I began opening the envelope once more. Maybe Lau could provide some insight.

"At least, that's as far as they got," he paused, gesturing to the note I had removed from the envelope, "About two weeks ago, all three of the contacts received an envelope like this."

My heart stopped, the whole world around me seeming to disappear as I unfolded the thick parchment. I instinctually recoiled, the paper dropping to the floor, the haunting image staring back up at me in the firelight. I would recognize that image anywhere. The serpent coiled itself into the shape of an infinity symbol, devouring its own tail. The inside of my left thigh tingled subconsciously as I could not tear my eyes away from the parchment, my chest tightening as the fearful thought whispered in the back of my mind. **You will never be free from them.**

"So you've seen this before?" Mr. Woodley's grating tone shocked me from my stupor.

"They are dead, aren't they?" I asked, ignoring his question, my voice barely audible, as I tried to calm my frantic nerves.

He nodded solemnly, "Yes. They were murdered the night after receiving these letters," his brow creased with a deep frown, looking up at me as he retrieved the forgotten letter from the floor as he continued, "Would you care to tell me what I've stuck my nose in? I don't like surprises."

I took a few deep breaths, releasing my white knuckled grip from the arms of the chair, choosing to take a couple long sips from my cup before answering.

"I am afraid that through your investigations that you have managed to stumble upon something exceedingly dangerous," I explained, my tone grave. He watched me with a calculating stare, as I continued, this time in warning, "Take my advice and burn any communication you had with your contacts. Erase all you connections with them. If you do not, it is likely you will be next."

Mr. Woodley's mouth dipped with displeasure at my words.

"I wish I had known it would be so risky. I wouldn't have helped. Even if…," he trailed off, his eyes tracing my figure, hunger clear in his eyes.

"Nor would I have asked," I stated curtly, resisting the urge to cover myself. I had unwillingly revealed a great weakness upon seeing the contents of the letter, I did not want to continue being vulnerable in front of him. "Is that all, Mr. Woodley? Surely you would not have traveled so far only to tell me you did not have much _to_ tell."

He scoffed, "Certainly not!" Then he added, lacing his fingers across his lap as he leaned back in his chair, "I have heard some news from the Underworld that I thought you would find interesting."

"And what might that be?" I asked indifferently, sipping my tea, inwardly thankful my nerves had calmed for the moment.

Apparently that was all the encouragement Mr. Woodley needed, as he took a deep breath before he began, "In the two months since the Queen removed your title and position as Silencer, the Underworld has been in a state of chaos. Though I do not understand the appeal, there are many who desire your old position and are willing to do anything to attain it."

I nodded in understanding, "I recall recognizing several names from the Underworld in the obituaries when I have assisted Sebastian with ironing his lordship's newspapers. So they are murdering each other over this?"

"Murdering, stealing, blackmailing, you name it," he answered with a smirk, "But the best part is that the Queen has remained indifferent as to who she will choose as the next Silencer. Though," he said, leaning forward towards me, moving forward in his seat so that our knees were almost touching. "rumor has it that she already has a candidate in mind."

He paused, seeming to relish in the false drama he was creating. I could not keep my eyes from rolling at his antics.

"Enough of the dramatics, just tell me who."

"You."

I blinked as I struggled to process his answer. Surely I had misheard him.

"Come again?"

A satisfied smile spread across his face at my confusion as he repeated, "You."

"I do not understand," I confessed, my brow furrowing with confusion, "Why would she choose me if she removed me from my post in the first place?"

"Word is that she was wanting to see how you would hold up without your father to tell you what to do. Being a woman and all, she wanted to see if you could hold your own before she offered the position back to you."

I took another sip, finishing my cup as I considered his words, trying to reason if there was a possibility that the rumors might be true. As the wheels in my mind turned, I recalled what Phipps had mentioned during our parting conversation New Year's Eve. Perhaps this is what he had meant when he had said that the Queen looked forward to hearing more of my progress.

I sat the cup down on the saucer with a quiet clink, before turning my attention back to Mr. Woodley. He remained seated as he had been moments before, leaning towards me, eyes both searching and full of expectation.

"And that is all you know?" I questioned, my eyes searching his for any inklings of withheld information.

"For now," he answered before quickly adding. "Though I can do some more digging if you would like."

I smiled gratefully, "That will not be necessary. You have given me much to think on already. I thank you for your time, Mr. Woodley."

I moved forward, preparing to rise and see him to the door when he placed a firm hand on my left knee. My whole body tensed as he gave my leg a squeeze, my stomach beginning to knot with anxiety when he did not remove it.

"Not so fast," he objected, his tone low and gravely, "Surely you didn't think I would risk so much and come all this way without receiving any payment for my trouble, did you?"

I edged back in my seat, trying to create some distance between us as he slowly started to slide his hand from my knee and up my thigh, my skirt rising as he did so.

"You didn't mention anything about requiring payment in your letter," I insisted, trying to keep my tone from wavering as I continued, "I thought saving your life when you got into that mess with the African cartel was payment enough."

I froze as I felt the chair up against my back. My fingers itched to grab one of my guns, but I wanted to attempt a peaceful negotiation with him first. Though he was treading a thin line, since he seemed to have no intentions of stopping, my skirts having risen high enough that the top of my stockings were revealed.

"Perhaps for the information I passed along, but I have lost three good men. I wouldn't be a reasonable merchant if I didn't require some compensation for that loss."

His other hand joined in, taking a secure hold of my right leg as he parted my legs slightly, grazing his fingers towards the inside of my thigh, slowly inching towards the apex of my legs.

I started at this action, "You forget yourself, Mr. Woodley!" I gasped, raising my left hand to strike him while my right hand shot down to take hold of one of my guns.

Faster than I could register he was on me, pinning my legs to the chair with one of his, each hand gripping my wrists painfully as he held them by my head. Panic surged through my veins as I looked up into his face where he loomed above me, his eyes full of dark intent as I was powerless against his strength.

"I don't believe I do, Ms. Wakefield," he growled, pressing his body closer to mine, "So, I will tell you what a suitable arrangement would be for me. Even before I divorced my bitch of a wife, my bed had grown cold. Come and live with me as my mistress and you won't want for anything ever again. That Phantomhive brat can't be paying you much and you're hopelessly drowning in debt. I can make all of that go away. Just let me do whatever I desire with that exquisite body of yours and I will make sure no harm ever comes to you again."

I fought against him in a futile attempt to free myself from his grasp, though I stopped when I could feel how much he was enjoying the feeling of my body struggling against his.

"Never." I spat, my fear quickly subsiding to rage.

He shoved me against the back of the chair, impatient with my resistance.

"I never said you had to come willingly." He snarled in my ear as he leaned in, abruptly taking my wrists in one of his hands, his free hand jerking violently at the collar of my uniform.

Buttons flew into the air and clattered to the floor as he ripped the top of my uniform open, the back of my neck burning from where the force of his actions had chaffed my skin.

"Sebas-!" I cried out, knowing I was powerless to do anything, but was cut off when he clamped a hand over my mouth.

"You are in no position to be refusing such a generous offer," he hissed.

He opened his mouth to say more, but any words he may have spoken were cut off by the screams of pain that followed as I bit down on the palm of his hand. He recoiled, clutching his wounded hand to his chest, and I took advantage of this distraction, raising my right leg to kick him in the stomach. The force of my blow knocked him off balance and sent him crashing to the floor. He attempted to scramble back to his feet, but he froze when he saw that I had risen and drawn one of my guns, the end of the barrel resting against his forehead.

Pulling down the hammer of the weapon with a menacing click, I glared down at the now trembling man, "And you are in no position to insist on it."

As soon as the words had left my mouth, the door slammed open, revealing Sebastian. His chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath, his gaze flitting quickly over the scene. Rage smoldered in his eyes and, if I hadn't been so concerned with making sure Mr. Woodley was contained, I would have swore I thought I saw his eyes flash a bright crimson. A look of pure terror swept over Mr. Woodley's face, beginning to tremble as Sebastian stormed over to him. I stepped to the side as Sebastian approached, passing by me to crouch menacingly by Mr. Woodley.

"Plea-Please," he begged, stuttering as Sebastian reached down and gripped him by the collar of his shirt.

My eyes widened as Sebastian proceeded to hoist Mr. Woodley up until his feet were dangling in the air, holding him there as though he were no heavier than a feather. Mr. Woodley kicked his legs, grabbing in vain at Sebastian's iron tight grip, his face turning red from the strain.

"She-she enticed me to do it. You have to believe me!" he wheezed.

I scowled at his words, suddenly wishing I hadn't hesitated to put a bullet through his skull. Sebastian scowled as well, his somehow fueled with more ferocity than mine.

"I have not known Ms. Wakefield long," he seethed through clenched teeth, raising Mr. Woodley higher as he continued, "but I know that she would not cater to a worm like you."

My attention snapped from where it had been resolutely focused on Mr. Woodley over to Sebastian, my heart aching painfully with admiration and gratitude. No one had defended my honor like that…ever.

Mr. Woodley sputtered several times, his face now turning a sickly shade of purple. Once he was convinced he would offer no further objection, Sebastian turned and proceeded to the door, continuing to hold Mr. Woodley suspended in the air, a dominant smirk on his face as he passed by.

"Though you should be grateful that my master will not allow me to deal you a proper punishment," he said, his tone laced with a dark threat, tossing Mr. Woodley unceremoniously into the hall, the latter landing on his rear with a pained grunt.

He halted, crossing his arms as he stared down at the trembling man. If I were not so caught up in relishing in Mr. Woodley's utter helplessness, I could have envisioned the black swirling mist of Sebastian's menacing aura reaching its tendrils to wrap suffocatingly around Mr. Woodley's form as he added, his voice echoing off the walls of the hall, "Or else I would show you the consequence of touching what is not yours."

/

The sound of a soft wind that swept over the roof of the mansion was the only noise that broke the otherwise silent expanse, adding a slight chill to the unusually warm winter night. I pulled my coat collar closer around my neck as a I shivered, gazing up at the silver moon which hung like crown jewel amongst the shimmering diamonds of the stars. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sebastian move closer to me as he used his body to shield me from the wind. I turned to him when I felt his body brush against my side, offering a slight smile of thanks as the shivers stopped. In fact, I found myself comfortable despite the chill in the air, thanks to the butler's warmth.

Sebastian's lips tugged in an attempt at a reciprocating smile, but it faltered quickly and he turned his gaze from me to the silver orb above. His expression was pensive as he became lost in thought, contemplating all that I had just revealed from my audience with Mr. Woodley. I was thankful he had returned to his semblance of normal.

After he had sent Mr. Woodley on his way, he had returned to check on me. I had just finished tidying up his office, as the chairs, table, and tea set had all been knocked askew in the struggle. One look at my disheveled hair, my torn uniform-which revealed most of my torso as it gaped open to about the middle of my corset, and the blood that was caked to the corners of my mouth from where I had bitten Mr. Woodley, his eyes had burned with a renewed rage. He had insisted on assisting me with becoming presentable and I found that I did not want to refuse. Even though he had intervened, thwarting Mr. Woodley's dark intentions, I was still shaken by the whole thing and welcomed the comfort his care would bring.

Which he did just that…well, mostly. After I had reassured him for the third time that Mr. Woodley had not been successful in his advances nor had he harmed me in any physical way, save my sore wrists-which I did not let him tend to as I did not want to repeat my blunder from three days ago, he proceeded to firmly chastise me for my stubborn foolishness. In his opinion, his master and I were not so different in the fact that we seemed to have no issue with jeopardizing our safety with reckless abandon if it meant we could attain our goal. I had taken his lecture without any objection or defense. I knew he was correct. Despite my hesitation regarding meeting Mr. Woodley, I had done so, blatantly ignoring my instincts to do the exact opposite, just for the hope of uncovering a sliver of pertinent information regarding my case.

"I can confirm a portion of the rumor regarding Her Majesty," Sebastian murmured, still seeming to be lost in thought.

I turned to him, waiting for him to continue when he quieted once more. My eyes traveled down his figure, drinking in the sight of him as he was bathed in the moonlight.

"She has asked about you in every letter she sends to my lord," he began, turning to look at me, the moonlight catching his eyes to make them glow enchantingly, "We had assumed that perhaps, as one woman to another, she felt some sentimental attachment and wanted assurance you were coping well with your situation."

I hesitantly shook my head to the contrary, "From my interactions with the Queen, she has not shown the inclination for such affections. She was never unkind, but our exchanges were only ever on a professional basis."

"Hmmm," Sebastian hummed with a slight nod of his head, "Then I think it would be safe to assume that what you were told is true. Though that would place you in a rather unique position."

My head tilted in silent question, my brow quirking. Sebastian bent his right leg, keeping the other extended as he rested his elbow on his right knee, his attention still keenly on me as he offered an explanation.

"Well, there is a possibility that if she reinstates you as the Silencer that she might offer you a title. Even if she does not, surely that would mean that your financial situation would change drastically, perhaps even to the point where you can easily pay back your father's debts," he paused, his eyes smoldering with a sudden intensity that made my heart stutter and a faint blush come to my cheeks, "What would you do if you no longer needed to be employed as a maid?"

My eyes widened, my thoughts suddenly blank. I honestly didn't have an answer. Since it never seemed like a realistic possibility, I had never given it much thought. My heart thudded in my chest with anxiety. This was odd for me. I always had a plan. Even with the repetitive duties I carried out each day, though they were often interrupted-but, once again, I was sought out to help _because_ I was the planner, I still had a plan. Sebastian's eyes searched mine for an answer while my mind whirred as it attempted to process this new possibility.

"I do not know," I replied slowly. "The idea of being my own master is incredibly tempting, however…"

I trailed off, looking down as I picked at the wool blanket on which we sat, my mind recalling images of Angelina and Nina, Finny, Mey-Rin, Bard and Tanaka, Ciel, and several of Sebastian. My heart ached at the possibility of being separated from them. For the first time in years, I was surrounded by those who genuinely cared for me, respected me, and loved me to the point that I was their friend. As foolish of a sentiment it was, I couldn't bear the thought of leaving them.

I glanced back up, Sebastian's gaze capturing mine as I continued, my voice soft as I confessed, "My attachment to the Phantomhive estate is more than that of money."

Sebastian's eyes widened somewhat at my words, as this was probably the most vulnerably honest thing I had ever shared with him up to this point. I clamped my mouth shut, afraid I had said too much, and hoped that he would not work out the full gravity of my statement.

"So you would stay?"

"Most likely, yes."

We stared at each other as a heavy silence fell between us. I could tell Sebastian was mulling something over in his mind, though I could not tell what. I did not have long to consider before he started to speak again.

"There is one thing I cannot figure out, though."

"What is that?"

He cast me a look that told me that I dare not lie, for if I did, I would be found out immediately.

"Your account of your audience with Mr. Woodley was rather precise until you recounted the information regarding the letter he showed you. Why is that?"

Anxiety flowed through my veins at his words, turning my blood to ice. I tore my gaze from him and stared intently at one of the nearby stone tiles, my body tensing with each passing second. I knew that my omission of information would not go unnoticed, but I had hoped, in vain, that he would have let the matter be. I jumped when, from the corner of my vision, I saw one of Sebastian's gloved hands reach towards me, his index finger hooking under my chin to direct my attention back to him.

His gaze bore into mine with investigative determination as he began, his tone low and measured, "I suspect the reason is that the contents of the letter are directly connected to the events from last week…and those all tie back to Italy. Care to elaborate?"

My jaw clenched, anger flaring within me at his persistence to unearth my dark past, returning his gaze with unwavering resolution as I answered with a firm, "No."

His brow dipped, his lips pressing together in a firm line as he brought his face closer to mine.

"Let me rephrase that," he glowered, "Please elaborate."

"No!" I insisted, pulling away from him. I had enough of this. My secrets were my own and I would not be forced to reveal them if I did not wish.

Sebastian let out a frustrated growl as I rose to my feet, brushing the wrinkles out of my coat before I picked up my long emptied tea cup and began to make my leave.

"Why do you refuse to speak of it?" he yelled towards my retreating figure.

I turned on my heel to see he had risen as well, blanket and his own cup in hand.

"Why do you insist on pressing the issue?" I retorted as he approached.

I stood my ground as he came to stand toe to toe with me, ignoring the tension that straightened my spine which came not from my anger, but from realizing that our bodies were a mere hairbreadth apart. Sebastian would not be able to use his body to distract me…not this time, at least.

"Because yours is not the only life you risk by your silence," he replied sharply.

I wanted to object, to offer some defense for myself, but I could not. Every soul under the roof of the Phantomhive estate and countless others were now in danger because I refused to reveal what had been done to me. I looked up at him, my eyes pleading for pity as he awaited my response.

When I did not give one, his eyes softened, all harshness gone from his voice as he reached out his right hand to gently cup my face.

"You cannot continue to run from your past."

The all too familiar feeling of cotton filled my mouth as I opened my lips to explain, my tongue clinging to the roof of my mouth. I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to it.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice strained from the dryness of my mouth. Sebastian dropped his hand from my cheek and I swallowed hard, my mouth become a little more moist from the action, adding with a clearer voice, "I will tell you. But I can't, not right now."

He raised an eyebrow as if he didn't believe me. Honestly, with my lack of disclosure thus far, I could not blame him. So I reached out my hands, taking his in mine and looked up into his face, hoping my expression would convey the sincerity of my words.

"I promise."

A slight smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, but made no move to correct my intimate gesture. A gentle breeze glided across the rooftop, causing some of my loose hairs that had fallen from my bun to brush against my cheeks and lips, tickling the sensitive skin. Sebastian's eyes flickered with a faint hint of desire as his gaze drifted to my lips. I tucked my hair behind my ear, a faint blush coming to my cheeks as I felt the flame of desire begin to burn within me as well.

Stepping back, I pulled my other hand back to my side as I said, "We should retire for tonight. It would not be advantageous should one of the other servants find that we are not in our quarters."

With that, I turned and made my way to the door of the roof access. Sebastian joined me, almost noiselessly as he kept pace by my side.

"What would be the problem with that?" he inquired, though the teasing undertone of his voice was not missed by me.

An embarrassed heat warmed my cheeks as I glanced up at him as he locked the outside door before we descended the short staircase to the hall where the servant's quarters were.

"Because," I began with a hushed whisper, shooting him a scolding look, "it took everything I could think of to convince them that we hadn't been intimate earlier today."

It had been Bard who had spotted us as we were coming from Sebastian's office. I had wanted to melt into the ground when I saw how his eyebrows raised as he assessed my appearance. With the top half of my uniform ripped open and my hair askew, I could understand how he would have come to the wrong conclusion. It had taken a good half an hour to convince him and Mey-Rin, whom Bard had told the rumor to by the time I was able to discuss the matter with him, that Sebastian and I had not been having passionate sex in his office. I had a sneaking suspicion that neither of them completely believed me, but I was willing to let the issue rest when they verbally agreed to not discuss the matter going forward.

Sebastian paused at the bottom of the stairs, lowering his smooth voice to a whisper as I passed by him and into the hallway, "Would it have been a problem if we had?"

I halted in my tracks, my body freezing as a different kind of warmth began to heat my body. My heart began beating faster as I turned back toward him, feeling his eyes on my body before I could see him. His eyes smoldered with delight, his mouth cocked with a satisfied smirk at having flustered me so. I took a shaky breath as he turned and locked the door. I needed to get to my chambers and fast. I could only hope that as time went on without another physical encounter like the one we shared a few nights ago, that my craving for him would reduce to the inconvenient intrigue it was before and things would return to normal. My resolve was dissolving at an alarming rate, like the grains of sand passing through an hourglass, and I hated not being able to control myself around him.

"I am going to assume you meant that in jest in order to get a rile out of me," I said, trying to sound convincing, bowing my head slightly when he hung the key up and turned to face me once more, "Good night, Sebastian."

I walked the short remaining distance to my quarters and was reaching for the doorknob when Sebastian softly called my name. Turning around, I was surprised that he stood only a few footsteps away from me, his expression suddenly serious.

"Yes?" I asked, looking up at him as he took a couple more steps towards me.

"Before we retired for the night, I wanted to express my regret for not having come to your aid sooner this afternoon. You have suffered much recently due to my negligence. In that regard I have failed as a Phantomhive butler and I assure you I will do everything in my power to not allow it to happen again."

As he finished, he bowed slightly, placing his hand over his heart.

"You are too hard on yourself," I soothed, an appeasing smile spreading on my face, "You intervened before anything really happened. What's more important is that you frightened him so that I do not think he will attempt another pass at me for some time."

"Though I do not agree with your assessment, I will accept it nonetheless. My service in the future will act as penance for these shortcomings."

With that, he gave another bow and walked towards his chambers. I bit my bottom lips as I watched him walk away, the words on the tip of my tongue that I had been wanting to give voice since the incident with Mr. Woodley. As he opened the door, I reached out a staying hand.

"Train me!" I blurted out.

Sebastian raised a questioning brow, seemingly caught off guard as much as I was at my words.

"Pardon?"

"Teach me to fight," I restated, before explaining, "I may be good when it comes to weapons, but I am at a loss in hand to hand combat. If it were not for you or Tanaka, I do not know what would have happened. And becoming a better fighter cannot hurt my chances at convincing Her Majesty to appoint me as her Silencer."

At first Sebastian said nothing, but rather stood with a contemplative hand raised to his chin as he considered my request. After a couple of minutes, he nodded.

"Very well, then. We shall begin tomorrow," he said with a pleased smile, "Though, I will warn you that I am a strict teacher."

I chuckled softly as he flashed me a teasing smirk.

"I would not expect any less," I laughed, a playful smirk tugging at the corner of my mouth as I continued, "But I think I will be up to the challenge. After all, my father was a devil of a trainer."

Sebastian chuckled at my words, dark amusement dancing in his eyes as he replied, "We shall see about that."

In the coming weeks and months to follow, I repeatedly cursed myself for placing Sebastian in a position where he felt he had to rise to a challenge. Apparently, he took issue with me stating that my father was a devil of a trainer and was doing his best to prove that he could be worse…and succeeding. If my father was a devil, Sebastian was _substantially_ worse.

For he was, in his words, "One _hell_ of a trainer."


	15. Smoke and Mirrors

**Author's Note:**

Hello, my lovelies! First of all, I apologize for not getting this posted yesterday. It has been an insane week and I just finished typing this up about fifteen minutes ago. That being said, I haven't done _any_ proofreading, so if there are any grammatical or spelling errors, please forgive me.

I would be amiss if I did not thank everyone who has read, favortied, and followed my story. As always, your support is appreciated more than you know. And a special shout out to everyone who left a review: **RedFantisies, Akuma-Sama2002, Misia0123, Nixon Nik, and nightmooncat.** Your comments, questions, and encouragement helps to keep me motivated and on my toes.

Before we get to the main event, I wanted to let you all know that due to some deadlines and other responsibilities, I am going to have to cut back to posting every other week. I hope this is not a permanent change, but it is what I need to do right now. *sigh* Responsibilities… But, in another announcement, thanks to your guy's feedback, I am planning on writing an Attack on Titan fanfiction. I am working on reading the manga, which I will need to catch up on before I begin, so it will be a few months before I actually begin posting it. More forthcoming on that. And I will leave you with the teaser that the next chapter will be from Sebastian's POV. ;)

Anyway, on to the main event! Enjoy!

 **Chapter Fifteen: Smoke and Mirrors**

My skin was slick with the sweat that covered my body, my chest heaving as I tried to catch my breath, my arms and legs trembling from exhaustion. I tensed as I felt Sebastian lean over where I remained on the floor, bracing myself on my hands and knees. A shiver of anticipation went down my spine and straight to my core as his hot breath tickled my ear.

"Again." he purred.

I let my head droop and closed my eyes.

"I…can't…," I attempted to say between great huffs of breath. Great beads of sweat glided down my face, splashing silently to the floor below, "This is…too much."

"Really?" he teased, "I was just getting started."

"How are you not already spent?" I asked, before arching my back as I attempted to stretch my sore muscles.

My back dipped more in an arch as his hands trailed down my back, a deep chuckle sounding in my ear as his hands roamed to my sides and continued lower.

"It seems I have quite the stamina."

I held back a grimace as his hands took a firm hold of my hips, steeling myself for more.

"Now," he began, a gasp escaping my lips as my sides and stomach seized with an aching pain as he lifted me from the floor, adding, "Stand up."

My legs wobbled underneath my weight, threatening to give out at any moment. As Sebastian began to loosen his hold on me, my knees began to give way and I shot out my hands to take a frim hold of his forearms. My legs strained underneath me, every muscle in my body struggling to keep myself upright. Without warning, Sebastian's steadying grip on my hips was removed and my legs buckled beneath me. **This was it.** I thought as I crumpled to the floor and closed my eyes, the smooth, slightly cool sensation of the wood floor a welcome relief against my fevered skin. **This was how I was going to die.**

It had been three weeks since I had foolishly asked Sebastian if he would train me in hand to hand combat. It had seemed like a logical move at the time, seeing as how the butler was the best fighter out of all the household staff, but I did not know having done so would be signing my own death accord.

At first, it seemed that Sebastian would be the perfect trainer, seeming to know just how far to push me and when to let me rest. This was a welcome sliver of hope, given that the morning after he had agreed to train me I had awoken with my nightgown stained with blood as, much to my chagrin, Eve's curse had returned and with a vengeance. During the time when I was recovering, I had been relieved that my monthly bleed had not occurred, as my flow was, as a rule, particularly heavy and painful. I would have been more than content if she had not shown her unwelcome face ever again. I did not want children, so what was the point of suffering every month?

That was why I was relieved when Sebastian had eased me into my training. Granted, for the first time in awhile, I had found myself yearning for my former way of life. My father was the perfect picture ignorance that most men of the day shared when it came to the inner workings of the female mind and body. All I had to say was that my monthly flow had begun and he would avoid me like the plague for the next seven days, insisting that I remain in bed and rest until I felt better. The former was rather ridiculous, but the latter was greatly appreciated and now greatly missed as, instead of getting to rest to alleviate the pain and cope with the exhaustion, I had my duties and training to tend to. Though, I had noted with some curiosity, that Sebastian had seemed to go out of his way to ease the burden of my responsibilities that week and had not been the task master I had expected when it came to my training.

However, as soon as my flow had ceased, Sebastian set to a new grueling pace, as if to make up for time lost that first week. Each day between lunch and afternoon tea, Sebastian and I would meet in Ciel's study room where he took his more physically involved studies such as fencing and dancing, and would train for an hour on whatever particular skill Sebastian believed needed addressing for the day. The previous two weeks had been focused on basic physical fitness, which had been a surprise to me, as I never considered myself out of shape. However, the butler insisted that, though I seemed to possess the strength to perform my daily duties without trouble, I was sorely lacking in the strength, agility, and endurance needed for combat. So we set to work, Sebastian tasking me with a rigorous set of physical tasks, working me until, at the end of that hour, I found I had been utterly spent, sometimes even to the point he had worked me today where I couldn't even stand on my own.

Somewhere above me, I heard Sebastian give a soft "Tsk, tsk." I blearily opened my eyes, my gaze focusing on his perfectly polished shoes, in which he stood but a few centimeters from my face.

He gave a heavy sigh, "Don't you think you're being a bit dramatic?"

If I had the energy, I would have shot off some sarcastic, witty remark, but, given that I couldn't lift myself from the floor at the moment, I decided to conserve my efforts for more necessary things, such as breathing.

A moment later, he grabbed my shoulders, pulling me into a sitting position before easing me backwards so my back rested against his chest from where he had joined me on the floor to sit as well. Now comfortably sitting, nestled against his chest and between his long legs, I let my body relax, allowing my head to droop back to rest on his right shoulder, closing my eyes again, my chest still heaving with each breath, though it wasn't as hurried as before.

"Here," he whispered gently, giving my right shoulder a nudge.

I groaned as I raised my head, cracking my left eye open in curiosity to see what he was offering me. My eyes shot open, my face lighting up as I saw the ladle full of water that he dangled in front of my face. A gasp of excitement escaped my lips as I eagerly grabbed the ladle with renewed vigor and greedily gulped down its contents. I relished in the relief to cold water brought to my parched mouth and throat, not caring that an almost equal amount of water escaped the corners of my mouth, trickling down my neck and pool where my corset pushed my breasts together, soaking the front of the borrowed shirt. It felt good.

"More," I whispered as I shoved the ladle back into his hands for refilling.

His chuckle rumbled in his chest, vibrating my back as well as he did as I had requested, the water tinkling back into the pail that sat to our right was he raised the ladle from the water and carefully brought it back to me.

"You seem to be rather thirsty today," he teased as I less than carefully snatched the ladle from his hands and downed the contents once more.

"Of course," I sighed, collapsing against his chest once more as I let my heavy hands fall into my lap, sending the ladle clattering to the floor before adding, "You didn't let me drink anything at all this session."

For a moment, Sebastian gave no response. Instead, I felt his body move behind me followed by the splashing of water as he dunked his handkerchief into the icy water. I watched as he wrung out the cloth with his left hand, streams of water trickling from between his gloved fingers before he brought the damp cloth back and began to glide it over my skin, brushing back the sweat soaked hair that was plastered to my face and neck. I closed my eyes, relishing in the coolness of the cloth, allowing him to direct my head's movements with a gently guiding hand. As much as I loathed how hard he worked me, I could almost say it was worth it for how he cared for me afterwards.

"I didn't let you drink because the past two times I have, you've vomited," he answered matter-of-factly.

"Hmph!" I huffed in annoyance, "Maybe if you didn't push me so hard, I wouldn't vomit."

"If I didn't push you so hard, it wouldn't be training. You have to have the endurance to be able to fight longer and harder than your opponent."

"You know what I would do if someone wanted to kill me that desperately?" I asked, tilting my head to look back at him, my determined gaze mirroring his own as I continued, "Die. If they push me that far, they've earned it."

Sebastian frown at my words, he expression souring.

"Now, Sarah, whining doesn't suit you," he chided, resuming his ministrations.

"I know." I sullenly agreed, knowing he was right.

I turned to face away from him once more, though not before I noticed his gaze flicker to where my full breasts rested, supported by my corset, glistening with sweat and water in the afternoon light. Heat rushed to my face and pooled below and I had to resist the urge to rub my legs together to create some friction. To my relief, nothing physical had happened between us since that night in the bathing room three and a half weeks ago. Though, if the mutually heated looks we shared when our bodies had become entangled as we grappled together during my training were any indication, it was not because the desire was gone.

The clothing I wore during my training didn't seem to help, either. Since this was a purely voluntary activity, Ciel did not want to bother with the expense of commissioning Nina to make me a training outfit, which meant I needed to borrow clothes from the other servants again. After a frustrating evening of trying on a various assortment of their garments, my outfit had been decided. It consisted of a pair of Sebastian's slacks and one of Bard's grey sleeping shirts, both of which were too long in the limbs and had to be rolled up to accommodate for the differences in our heights and both were too tight, leaving little to the imagination as to my figure. Due to the size difference of our chests, the collar of Bard's night shirt dipped precariously low in the front, which currently offered Sebastian a generous view of my breasts. Though that wasn't the only area of my body to which this clothing drew Sebastian's attention.

Last week when we had finished my training, we had been returning to the servant's hall when we saw Mey-Rin accidentally bump into the railing of the main stairs, effectively tossing the clean bedding she had gathered from the laundry over the banister. All exhaustion forgotten, I had rushed ahead, as I had been in the lead, somehow managing to contort myself over the banister by sandwiching it between my thighs and stomach. I had successfully saved the linens, but due to the weight of the winter blankets and my tired muscles, I couldn't right myself. I had turned to Sebastian for assistance, my face flushing a deep red when I noticed the untamed hunger that burned in his eyes as his focus was not on my precarious situation, but rather my rear. This fact hadn't been lost on Mey-Rin, either. Of course the maid who was usually blinder than a bat with her glasses on hadn't missed that. All in all, it seemed that, though this training was necessary for me, it was causing more issues than benefits at the moment.

"Other than tiring too quickly, your form has improved somewhat," Sebastian said in what I could only guess was a compliment, though his tone rang slightly with disappointment, so I could not be sure. He wrung out the handkerchief once more, rubbing small, massaging circles into my stiff shoulders, making me melt under his touch as he continued, "When we pick up again on Sunday I think we will begin with maneuvers you can use against opponents who are larger and stronger than you. Since that appears to be an area of weakness."

I nodded in agreement at his words, not fully comprehending what he had said. I mulled his words over and over in my mind as his fingers massaged along my shoulders and neck, slowly working their way down my arms.

"Wait!" I blurted out with a start, before turning to Sebastian, a look of utter glee and relief on my face, "So you're saying I get two days to rest?"

"Yes…," he confirmed, his brow rising in utter bewilderment at my excitement.

I sighed, closing my eyes in contentment as Sebastian continued to massage my aching muscles. Since I had started training, I found there was one thing I loved more than sleep, and that was my rest day.

"Two rest days," I sighed in delight.

Another chuckle issued from Sebastian as I felt him move behind me. I opened my eyes in time to see one of his arms reach underneath my knees, the other one supporting my back as he scooped me up in his arms, my arms instinctually wrapping around his neck. As he made his way to carry me from the room, I glanced up at him, he returning my look with feigned injury.

"You make it sound as if my training is torture."

My brow dipped with a serious frown, "It is."

"I believe you're being melodramatic again," he objected, shooting me a slightly skeptical look as he proceeded to carry me down the hallway.

I deadpanned at his feeble attempt to brush my objection off.

"I am physically incapable of walking right now."

"I would call that testing your limits, not torturing you," he quipped before opening the servant's door and ascending the narrow stairs.

"This is the third time it has happened this week."

"Which is two days less than last week. Look at you, rising to the challenge," he smirked at my frown.

"Don't patronize me." I growled as he stepped onto the landing of the floor of the servant's quarters.

"I meant that with the upmost sincerity," he replied, in a tone that did not seem completely sincere, "You've made great strides in the past few weeks. You have been more responsive to my training than even I had hoped."

I sighed, resisting the urge to roll my eyes, knowing that was the best compliment I would receive from him. I opened my mouth to shoot off another remark when Finny's presence interrupted our banter.

"Sarah, are you ok?" the young gardener asked, his brows knitted with concern as he approached us.

I turned, proffering a warm smile in response to his kindness.

"Yes, everything is fine. My training was particularly rigorous today, so Sebastian was kind enough to help me to the showering room."

I shot the butler a scathing look that told him he would owe me for depicting this scenario in his favor. His forced smile told me he had not missed the gesture.

All our attentions turned toward the door of Mey-Rin's quarters as it opened and Mey-Rin stepped into the hallway, looking rather disheveled.

"Oh! S-Sebastian!" she shrieked, slamming the door closed with a little too much earnest to be normal, even for her. Her face flushed the same color red as her hair as she hurriedly began tidying her appearance, stammering as she continued, "Wha-what brings you up here this time of day?"

I stiffened in Sebastian's arms as I noticed the red marks on her neck that she was desperately trying to cover up as she buttoned up the collar of her uniform, knowing that Sebastian would not miss the reason behind her appearance.

"May I ask why you were up here when you should be tending to the dining room?" the butler asked, ignoring her question, his tone annoyingly self-righteous. Like he had any room to judge, given the insinuations he's made when he's teased me before.

A brief look of panic shot across the petite maid's face.

"U-um. I…I was changing into my evening uniform, sir. Yes, yes I was," she answered, before issuing an unconvincing dry laugh.

Sebastian sighed heavily, closing his eyes as he pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. My arms strained as I clung to his strong frame as the support of my back was momentarily lost.

"Then why are you still wearing your afternoon uniform?"

All color drained from her face as she looked down at her attire, confirming the butler's observations.

Sebastian waved a dismissive hand before, to my relief, placing it on my back again, "Never mind, that is not why I was looking for you anyway."

"You were looking for me, Sebastian?" Mey-Rin wondered aloud, pointing a questioning finger towards herself as if to verify she had heard him properly.

"Yes, if you would follow me," he answered, taking a step towards the showering room which was at the opposite end of the hallway, Mey-Rin following close behind.

"Sarah has gotten quite filthy during our training today," he continued, glancing back toward the other maid as we continued, "and needs to shower before tending to her evening duties. However, she is so exhausted that she cannot stand on her own, for the moment, at least. Would you assist her?"

"Ok," she agreed in a small voice.

"Very good."

I whispered a quiet "Thank you." to Sebastian as he carefully lowered me to sit on the bench which sat along one of the walls of the narrow, blue and white tiled shower room.

"Now I want you to use this," he began, reaching inside his tailcoat to pull out a medium sized bottle from his pocket and extended it to me. The crimson hued liquid swirled lazily from the movement as I took the bottle from him. I gazed at the bottle, tilting it this way and that, mesmerized for a moment at how it moved, before I glanced up to Sebastian, who continued, "You can use this in place of soap. I believe you will find its effects rather rejuvenating."

I nodded in agreement, unscrewing the lid before I took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of the liquid.

"Mmmmm," I hummed, my senses pleased as I caught the distinct scent of earth, cinnamon, and musk that I would recognize anywhere.

"This smells," I paused, omitting 'like you', choosing rather to say, "delicious."

A satisfied smirk tugged at the corners of his lips and for a brief moment I feared he had read my thoughts as to why I enjoyed the scent so much, seeing how he looked more than pleased with himself. Luckily, if he had somehow known, he did not mention it.

"I am glad you approve. It is a special blend I created which I thought you would find most pleasing," he said, turning toward the door to make his leave before he paused, returning his attention toward me, "As for tonight, I will see to your final duties for the day. I would like you to retire early. You need your rest. You have an exciting day ahead of you tomorrow."

I nodded in agreement once more, momentarily excited at the realization that I would be getting more sleep tonight in addition to my two rest days. My thoughts halted as I wondered what I had done to earn such generosity, when I remembered tomorrow was the ball we had orchestrated for the convenient murder the Queen had requested. Sometime tomorrow evening, Lord Carson was going to die.

My expression soured as I grumbled, "So I'm not truly getting two rest days."

An eerily pleasant smile was plastered on the butler's face as he replied, "Technically, you do, since you won't be training tomorrow. Consider it as a possibility to practice your newly learned skills."

I shot a scathing look of displeasure at his retreating form, my eyes narrowing.

"I leave her to you," Sebastian said to Mey-Rin in passing before he closed the door behind him.

As his steps grew faint as he continued away from the shower room, Mey-Rin took a step forward to begin assisting me when she froze, hearing Sebastian's commanding voice issue from somewhere down the hallway.

"Oh, Finny. Do tell Bard he may come out of Mey-Rin's room now," pausing a moment before he added, his tone disapproving, "So long as he's decent."

Finny replied in turn, though what he said was unclear as his voice was muffled by the door. Poor thing was probably at a loss as to why Bard would be in her quarters in the first place. My gaze slid from the door, over to the maid who stood, frozen in place as she had been a minute before, her faced yet again with a deep crimson. Her bottom lip trembled as her frame shook like a leaf.

"Oh no," she whispered almost inaudibly, "He knows."

A shaky whimper came from her lips and, hand my arms not been so sore, I would have reached out a comforting hand to her. However, before I could offer any sort of balm to her anxiety, she issued a mournful cry, rushing over to me and grabbing hold of my shoulders with such desperation, I had to struggle to maintain my hold on the bottle Sebastian had given me.

"You-You don't think he'll tell the young master, will he?" she wailed, her faces inches away from mine as she tried to search my eyes for an answer.

I offered a comforting smile as I set the bottle aside and gently removed her hands from my shoulders.

"I have no reason to believe he will. He's known for some time, since before my time here, in fact."

"W-what?" she asked, her expression a mixture of shock and disbelief.

I shrugged my shoulders before I reached down and pulled the hem of the sweat soaked shirt over my head, a pleasant shiver ghosting over me as the cool air brushed against my skin.

"You two aren't exactly discreet about expressing your feelings for each other," I commented with a grunt as I shimmied my hips to slide out of the pants and my panties, making sure to press my thighs together once I had pulled the garments to my knees. Once I peeled the sweaty garments from my legs, I kicked them away, adding, "I am sure the only reason his lordship or Finny hasn't noticed is because they don't currently understand those desires."

"Oh, I see," she mumbled, her tone despondent as she disinterestedly watched me undo the laces of my corset, "So what should we do?"

I paused in my work, a soft smile tugging at the corners of my mouth as I consolingly took her hands in mine.

"You should remain as you are. Sebastian nor I have issue with what you two are doing. In fact, I am happy that you two have found such comfort in one another," I paused, Mey-Rin's smile reflecting my own before my smile faltered, my voice lowering in solemnity, "But you should take greater care in the future. It would be catastrophic to not only you or Bard, but to his lordship's reputation, should anyone such as Lady Midford or Miss Elizabeth were to discover your relationship. I understand firsthand how unforgiving and self-righteous the world can be and I would not wish that same judgement upon you."

Mey-Rin stared down at me from where I sat for a few moments before her bottom lips began to quiver. My brow quirked questioningly at her reaction, but did not have time to ask her what was the matter because a moment later, a grateful cry came from her lips before locking me in a tight embrace.

"Oh, Sarah!" she cried, tears of relief and gratitude streaking down her cheeks, "You are too kind, that you are!"

My back stiffened as I froze, taken aback by the sudden gesture. Once I had recovered, though, I began rubbing small circles on her back as I had grown accustomed to doing when such emotional outbursts occurred.

"Thank you!" she continued, pulling back and lifting her glasses so she could see me clearly, "Thank you for not telling the young master. I-I don't know what I would do without Bard."

My heart tugged at her open confession as it ached for the same thing. I knew Bard felt the same way about Mey-Rin and I envied them for that. To have someone so dedicated, someone who loved you so much that it would inflict the worst kind of pain to be separated from them, it did not seem possible. But yet the evidence stood before me and I felt deep within my heart that I longed for the same thing. Certainly I felt something of the kind towards Sebastian, his absence had been enough to prove that, but I did not know if he shared the same with me. He had said he was glad to have returned, but that did not necessarily mean that he missed me, not the same way I had missed him while he was gone. The only thing I knew for certain was that he wanted me in the most powerful and primal way that a man could want a woman, which was a thrill all of its own, but that did not fill the emptiness I felt within me at this moment. The need to be loved.

I mustered another smile, pushing my thoughts aside as I resumed undoing the last few laces of my corset.

"Well, let us hope it doesn't come to all that, then."

I removed the corset, setting it carefully on the bench. Now that I was naked, Mey-Rin finally seemed to remember the purpose for which she was here and came beside me, looping her arm around my waist as she draped my left arm over her shoulders.

"Wait," I hesitated, "Are your wounds healed enough for this?"

Mey-Rin smiled reassuringly as she nodded, "I think so."

With that, she stood, supporting me as her actions caused me to stand. We paused once we had righted ourselves and I attempted to steady myself before grabbing the bottle Sebastian had given me. Thankfully my legs only trembled beneath me rather than uncontrollably wobbling as they had earlier.

Slowly and steadily, we shuffled the short distance from the bench to the actual shower. Ever so often I would nonchalantly take a sideways glance at Mey-Rin, knowing that her face would show me before she would be willing to voice the words that her assistance was irritating her wounds. My gaze came to rest on her left shoulder and I found myself wishing that the salve Sebastian used on me had worked for her.

Even though Sebastian had tried to dissuade me from using the pills to treat Mey-Rin's wounds, I had decided, against his warning and better judgement, to try it anyway. It had worked for me, so why not? So the next day I had snuck down to his office when I knew he would be tending to Ciel's violin lesson and recovered a couple pills, before bolting back to Mey-Rin's quarters. I could only imagine what sort of punishment Sebastian would have in store for me had he caught me.

It had taken several attempts to convince her to agree. Though I could not fault her for her skepticism, especially when I was unwilling to divulge how I had come by said information. However, only a few seconds after popping one of the pills in my mouth, my stomach rolled with nausea and seized with pain. I still don't know how I managed it, but I somehow made it to the toilet room in time before I began to empty my stomach of all of its contents.

Sebastian had burst in a few minutes later, adding to my humiliation, coming to my aid as soon as Mey-Rin had informed him of my condition. Unfortunately there was no simple remedy he could offer this time. So for the next hour he held my hair back while my body heaved relentlessly until, after the last forty minutes of that hour was spent dry heaving, I collapsed against him, covered in a film of sweat, my whole body spent. He then made quick work of cleaning me up before he carried me to my quarters. Through all of this he said nothing, though I caught a few disapproving looks he shot at me through the ordeal, so I had been genuinely surprised when he left with as little word as he had come. Clearly he believed what I had just endured had been punishment enough…and he was correct.

My body tensed for a moment as the chilled tiles of the shower touched my back. With Mey-Rin's assistance, I slowly lowered myself to the floor, my muscles crying out in protest as they strained to keep me from collapsing to the floor in an undignified heap.

I smiled gratefully up at Mey-Rin, unfolding my legs as I came to sit on the floor, my back still pressed against the wall.

"Thank you," I said softly.

"No problem," her nasally voice replied, as she had slipped her glasses back on her nose, "I'll just turn the water on…"

A shocked gasp escaped my lips as she turned the water on full force, the icy water rushing down on me mercilessly, making my heart leap in my chest as I felt like I had been plunged into a frozen lake. My breath shuddered and I pulled my legs up to my chest in a desperate attempt to warm myself, the bottle I had held in my hands clattering to the floor.

"Sorry," Mey-Rin apologized before giving another one of her signature dry laughs.

"It-It's ok," I managed to get out, my voice shaking as much as my body, "I will be-be fine."

She paused, her stance hesitant as she debated on whether or not to leave.

I gave her a half-hearted smile of reassurance, "The wa-water will warm up soon. You go on ahead."

She gave a nod, her mouth curling in an apologetic smile, before she left with no further word.

I sat for what felt like hours as I rocked back and forth in a feeble attempt to warm myself while I waited for the water to warm up. Streams of icy water trickled in rivulets down my naked skin, tracing every curve and dip of my body. As I felt the water begin to increase in temperature, I stretched out my legs once more, noticing how their curvature was more toned than before. Despite the fact that I did not feel stronger for having endured Sebastian's training, gradually over the past three weeks I had noticed my body had begun to change. Granted, my hourglass figure had not gone away, but I noticed that, overall, my body had become slightly leaner and more toned. At least in some small way I could consider the torment I went through most days to be worth it.

My shoulders relaxed as I let out a sigh of relief, the water having finally risen to a suitable temperature. I grabbed the bottle that sat beside me and went to twist the cap off, when I realized Mey-Rin had not given me a cloth with which to wash. I chuckled, shaking my head as I decided it didn't matter, and twisted off the cap before setting it on the floor beside my leg. A moment later, I cupped my left hand as I carefully began to pour the liquid out of the bottle.

My eyes widened, my brow quirking in question and surprise as the viscous crimson liquid pooled in my hand, causing the skin it touched to tingle. From how it had sloshed about inside the bottle, I had not expected it to come out in such a state. I curiously poked the solution with my right index finger, bringing the coated digit towards my face for a closer inspection. Briefly, I was tempted to taste the substance, given that it smelled so appealing. However, that thought was quickly dashed as I reminded myself what happened the last time I placed a foreign substance in my mouth.

Instead, I decided to follow Sebastian's instructions and began to rub the liquid over my body. I hummed in approval as my skin began to pleasantly tingle, all soreness and discomfort seeming to be drawn from my aching limbs. In fact, after only a couple of minutes with the solution on my skin, I felt as if new life had been breathed into my exhausted body. Once I had thoroughly coated my skin with the liquid, I closed my eyes, leaning my head back against the wall as I let the water slowly dissolve the solution. My chest rose and fell as I breathed a slow breath of contentment. I couldn't remember the last time I had felt so at ease.

Despite my reluctance, I opened my eyes, my gaze sliding over to the now empty bottle.

"What a shame," I whispered in disappointment, as I picked up the bottle and began rotating it between my fingers, "I shouldn't have been so careless in my use."

I watched with aimless attention as beads of water pooled up on the mouth of the bottle before streaking down the inside of the glass. What a strange substance. Though it shouldn't have been any surprise, this wasn't the first unusual solution Sebastian had offered for my physical discomfort. My thoughts wandered back to the mysterious pills, my gaze flitting from the bottle to my arms, which bore no sign of injury thanks to Sebastian's effective use of the medicine.

When I had pressed the issue of using the pills for Ciel and Mey-Rin, he had insisted that the results when they had been used in the past had been inconsistent, of which the negative effects could be severe, so he did not want to risk treating them with it. I had then questioned that if the treatment had been so risky, why he had chosen to use them on me. His eyes had flashed with annoyance at my persistence before stating that I was like others who he had successfully treated in the past, so he believed it to be worth the risk.

I huffed in frustration at the memory, steadying myself against the wall as I made to stand. To my relief, my body did not ache in objection to the movement, but rather felt so refreshed, it was like I had not endured Sebastian's training at all. I frowned as I rubbed the remaining solution from my skin. Though he had technically given me an explanation, it still did not sit well with me. And while believed that Sebastian would never lie to me, I couldn't shake the suspicion that he had not been entirely truthful in his explanation, either.

The knob of the shower squeaked as I shut off the water, staring at the tiles on the floor as my mind recalled the extra pill I had managed to keep in my pocket that day, which was now wrapped in a handkerchief and stuffed in the far corner of my panty drawer. I had been contemplating what to do with it for the past several weeks, but Sebastian's vague response coupled with his unwillingness to discuss the matter further had made my mind up for me. **It couldn't be helped** , I reassured myself as I retrieved a towel from the towel shelf that was built into the wall and began to buff my skin dry, **he had forced my hand.** I nodded with resolution as I covered my head with the towel and began drying my hair. The next time I had a day off I would pay Angelina a visit and have her use her available resources to decipher the mystery. If Sebastian wasn't going to give me answers, I would have to find them myself.

/

My brow creased with a frown as my eyes wandered over the sea of guests that filled the ballroom and spilled up to the landing of the stairs that lead to the second floor, their chatter mixing with the string quartet whose music wafted from the opposite side of the room. With a swift flick of my wrist, I opened my fan and began to fan myself as I discreetly tugged the front of the dress up, though it did nothing to compensate for the plunging neckline, which revealed a generous amount of my breasts. The corners of my mouth dipped in distaste as my gaze landed on the figure of Lord Carson, who had gone to retrieve us both another glass of champagne.

"How did I allow myself to be caught up in this mess?" I mumbled under my breath as another round of giddy laughter erupted from the small cluster of noblewomen who stood to my left as Sebastian paused by their group to offer some light refreshments. Clearly they were besotted with him. This only added to the torture that had been this evening.

I rolled my eyes, annoyed with both their antics and the flicker of jealousy that leapt to life within me as Sebastian appeared to not only tolerate their flirtation, but was rather encouraging it. My mind swiftly gave my thoughts a kick, reminding me that I had no cause for jealousy. Sebastian was not mine. He could flirt with whomever he pleased. Though, the aggressive manner in which I was fanning myself was a visible testimony to my heart's disagreement. I heaved a heavy sigh as I tried to refocus my attention to the root purpose of this event…the demise of Lord Carson. As my gaze passed back over the crowd, quickly locating Lord Carson who was still standing at the refreshment table, my attention was momentarily distracted when I saw Ciel and Lizzy standing with Lord and Lady Midford and Angelina. A smirk of satisfaction briefly tugged at the corner of my mouth when I noticed that beneath the poorly constructed mask that doubtless Lizzy would not see through, the look of pained chagrin that soured the little Earl's expression. **Serves him right.** I thought as a momentary look of panic flashed on his face before Lizzy drug him out to the ballroom floor to dance. **Considering he's the reason I'm here tonight.**

Ciel had decided that, given my history with Lord Carson along with his infatuation with me, that I would be the perfect bait to lure him to his doom. The plan was that I was to act as an escort of sorts for the lord for the course of the evening's festivities, keeping him entertained to lull him into a false sense of security. At approximately one in the morning, I was to lure him to Ciel's study under the pretense of seducing him. I was still trying to formulate a plan as to how to accomplish that. I hoped in the hour and a half I had remaining that I would be able to concoct something. Once in the study, I was to lock the door, where Ciel and Sebastian would be waiting to incapacitate the lord. At that point, I would take the needle, which was currently strapped to my ankle and filled with the proper dose of arsenic, and inject the poison. The dose was such that it would not kill him immediately, but would allow us to see he was properly sent off in a carriage under the guise he had passed out from imbibing too much alcohol and where he would expire hours later and miles away, eliminating any ties to Her Majesty and leaving the Phantomhive household under minimal scrutiny.

 **Fairly simple, yet effective.** I thought a moment before my mouth dipped in displeasure again. **So long as I don't kill Lord Carson before I can get him to the study.**

"My, what a sour expression," Sebastian's smooth voice sounded from beside me, pulling me from my thoughts as he approached, a mockingly pleasant smile on his face.

I shot a scathing look towards the butler, snapping my fan shut as he stopped in front of me, his back to the rest of the guests.

"Is there anything I can do to brighten that morose look? I'm afraid if you continue to act in such a manner, your partner will be able to notice, despite the dress you are wearing."

A faint blush warmed my cheeks as I saw Sebastian's gaze briefly flicker down to the neckline of my dress before looking back up, his russet eyes capturing my own.

"You could steal me out of this situation and help me out of this dress," I quipped, regretting my choice of words instantly.

A mischievous smirk tugged at the corner of Sebastian's lips, the blush on my cheeks deepening, feeling the heat rush down my neck to pool between my legs as he gave a subtle wink before adding, "As tempting of an offer that is, I am afraid I cannot accept as it would distract from the matter at hand."

I was about to answer when I heard hushed whispers come from the group of noblewomen to my left. We both turned to find the ladies huddled close together, all of them holding their fans over their mouths, their heated glares fueled with a mixture of jealousy and spite as they whispered amongst themselves, no doubt disapproving of the seemingly positive attention Sebastian was giving me.

Another flame of annoyance flared up within me, snapping the final thread of patience regarding their antics and took a step towards Sebastian, our bodies now so close he had to move the tray to the side rather than holding it in front of him. I may not have had a technical claim on him, but I was going to show them that they did not stand a chance of attracting his attention. I stood on my tiptoes, my hand securing its hold on his shoulder as I closed the space between us, an involuntary grin curving my lips as I heard him inhale sharply as my lips brushed against his ear, the only sign that my actions were affecting him.

"If he makes another grab for my rear, there won't be a matter at hand."

I made to lower myself when I felt Sebastian's hand press against my lower back, securing my body against his. Shivers of anticipation went down my spine as his hot breath tickled my ear and neck as he whispered, "Need I remind you that you are only in this situation because my master ordered it to be so. We just need to ensure that this unpleasant business isn't for nothing," pausing a moment before pressing my lower back once more before adding, his voice slightly gravelly, "Understood?"

"Yes," I replied, my response breathier than I intended. However, the way he was holding me to himself was enough to distract me from everything else around me.

I blinked a couple of times, being brought back to reality as he released me to stand normally, and whipped out my fan again, stepping back as I began to fan myself, unable to meet his gaze as I attempted to calm my frazzled nerves. The one satisfaction I had came from the feverish wave of whispers that issued from the group of noblewomen, clearly having been provoked by our intimate display. He gave a chuckle and I knew without looking that he was wearing one of his signature teasing smirks, but before he could offer a flustering jab another voice cut through the tension.

"Ah, there you are, my dear!"

I sighed inwardly, pushing my emotions aside, choosing instead to smile welcomingly as Lord Carson approached rather than offer a grimace of chagrin. **This was just like any other mission** , I reminded myself, **I just have to keep him preoccupied before I kill him. Stay focused.**

In truth, Lord Carson was not an unattractive man, quite the opposite, actually. He was rather tall, standing several inches taller than Sebastian, in fact, and his body was built with the sturdiness he had acquired from his German mother. His straight, almost silvery blond hair which he wore slicked back for this occasion had come from her as well, though the neatly groomed beard along his strong jawline and his striking emerald green eyes were all his father's. If it were not for his tendency to imbibe too much drink or his propensity for being ungentlemanly "hands on", so to speak, when it came to women he deemed beautiful, I might have considered my father's suggestion that I should pursue him as a potential spouse. Though he did not stir my heart in any way, from a practical perspective it would have been an advantageous match. He was filthy rich and did not seem to mind my less than perfect reputation. His handsomeness was an added bonus as, even though I knew he would never elicit any true rousings of desire, it was a satisfaction in itself that, should we had been wed, I would not have to endure an ugly face whilst he bedded me.

"Lord Carson," I lilted, continuing to fan myself as I accepted the flute of champagne he extended to me.

"Is everything alright? You look rather flushed," he commented, his commanding bass voice dipping with concern as he came to stand by my side as he placed a supportive hand on my back.

"I am quite fine, thank you, Lord Carson," I replied with another smile, taking a quick sip of my champagne as I stole a quick glance towards Sebastian, who appeared to be quite displeased, before adding, "It is rather warm down here with all these people, that is all."

"Well, I might have a solution to that," he stated, a hint of suggestive tremor to his voice matching the smirk that faintly tugged at the corner of his lips. With a silent step towards me, he leaned in, pressing his lips against the lobe of my ear before adding with a needy whisper, "Why don't we take a stroll out on the veranda? The night air should help cool you down."

My back stiffened as I felt the hand he had placed on my back slide down to grab hold of what he could of my rear through the many layers of clothing and give it a firm squeeze. An embarrassed heat rushed to my cheeks as I resisted the urge to smack him across the face, my gaze snapping to Sebastian, my frown of displeasure mirroring his own. Yes, one thing was for sure, whether by my hand or Sebastian's, Lord Carson was going to die tonight.

From his actions throughout the evening and the deepening flush of intoxication that dusted his cheeks, I knew accompanying him onto the veranda alone was the last thing I wanted to do. However, more was at stake than my personal desires. No matter what I had to endure, I could not compromise the mission.

So, instead of striking the tipsy lord and telling him off for his lecherous suggestion, I placed a gloved hand on his forearm, offering what I hoped was a convincingly seductive smirk, before I answered in a hushed tone, "I cannot refuse such a tempting offer."

I could not bring myself to look at Sebastian as I looped my arm around the one Lord Carson had offered to me, fearing whatever expression I would find upon his face would crumble whatever resolve I had shored within myself to see this mission through to the end. Nor did I allow myself to contemplate what thoughts the other guests might have towards me should they notice Lord Carson and I stealing away together. It was not as if my one more man would sully my reputation more than it had been. The one consolation I had was that it had become apparent that attempting to seduce him would not prove as challenging as I had feared…what a feeble consolation at that.

My breath froze in my chest as we stepped out from the comforting warmth of the manor and into the frigid air of the winter's night. The clouds were sparse, so the whole expanse of the veranda, gardens, and the forest that lay beyond that were bathed in the milky white light of the moon. Though I did not want to, I pressed myself against Lord Carson for warmth as we continued to walk from the manor, gooseflesh prickling up on the exposed skin of my arms and shoulders.

Neither of us spoke a word as we crossed the large veranda, the gravel underneath our feet crunching as we stepped onto the path that wound its way through the gardens. With each step the melodic sounds of the quartet faded into the silence of the night that surrounded us. He led me around a corner where the tallest bushes began, effectively cutting off the view and sounds of the manor and I had to fight with everything in me not to bolt and flee towards the safety of the manor. A step out onto the veranda was one thing, but now we were completely isolated. What he had planned for me, I did not know, but I could only assume that his intentions were less than honorable.

I was relieved as a stone bench came to view along the path. I did not want to have to venture any deeper into the maze of bushes than we already had.

"Do you mind if we rest here?" I asked, smiling up at him as I gestured towards the bench.

He nodded, steering us towards the bench with a quiet, "Certainly."

My gaze flitted over to Lord Carson as we sat, surprised by the sudden change in his demeanor. Gone was the flirtatiously suggestive sparkle in his eyes, which had been replaced with a heart-stuttering seriousness.

"My, Lord Carson," I began, flashing him another charming smile as I placed my hand on his forearm again and moved so we sat side by side, our bodies pressing together where they could, "whatever is the matter? What could cause you to look so grave?"

He stared at the ground for a few moments, his brow furrowing with concentration before he opened his mouth to speak.

"I assume you know what took place between Earl Phantomhive and I earlier this month," he began, his words coming at a slow and measured pace, as if he was carefully choosing his words. At this, he paused and turned to me, his gaze intense.

I nodded, knowing I would not be able to deny his assumption.

"Only the basics. He did not divulge any specifics, though," I lied.

"Well," he said, looking down as he took his hands in mine as he began to rub his thumb across the back of my hand, "those events reminded me of where fate had placed you…reminded of how lost I felt when news reached me of the attack on your home."

I started, my eyes widening as he returned his gaze back to me, the pools of his eyes filled with the sorrow that the memory had provoked, suddenly realizing that he was not only infatuated with me, but rather he was…

"That is why I risked coming here tonight," he soothed, his voice kind and soft as he reached up a comforting hand and cupped my face, the coolness of the ring he wore on his thumb shocking as he began to rub the soft skin of my cheek, "Earl Phantomhive's visit confirmed what I had suspected for the past month, that the Queen had discovered my plans. I am a marked man, Sarah. I must flee the country…but that is why I had to see you."

"Lord Carson," I whispered, my stomach knotting with anxiety, as my eyes searched his for an explanation for this sudden turn in conversation, "why are you telling me this?"

"I want to save you from your situation. Come with me. Let us flee together. Your father is gone. There is nothing here that is binding to this country any longer," he paused, ceasing his caressing, but not removing his hand as he continued, "Come with me…as my wife."

I held my breath as I heard the words pass from his lips, stunned at the sudden turn in events. My eyes searched his for any hint of insincerity, but I found none. My heart sank within me as I, surprisingly, found myself torn between the two. If I accepted, truly accepted, it would mean I could begin again. I return to my former glory, a proper lady once again, who would have a somewhat repaired reputation because I had finally settled down with a "decent" nobleman rather than a no name servant who would always bear the brunt of society's misplaced ridicule. I knew he had more than enough funds to absorb my father's debt. And then I would be able to put the maddening predicament with Sebastian behind me, trading burning passion for genuine affection. I would never desire Lord Carson, but in some ways that made things easier. Besides, what loyalty did I genuinely have to the Crown? None. Nor had they shown any loyalty to me. It was not as if running off with a man that only the underbelly of society knew to be a traitor was beneath me.

It was then that my mind began to replay moments from the past few months since I had come to live at the Phantomhive estate. Images of Finny, Bard, Mey-Rin, Tanaka, Angelina, and Sebastian flooded my thoughts and my heart tugged painfully within me once more. Could I leave such people who had accepted me without question, who had, for the first time in my life, shown me what it meant to be a part of a family? Could I bring myself to betray them in such a manner? My heart answered before my mind could. No. I could not. More images from the incident of three weeks ago flashed through my mind, reminding me that choosing to follow Lord Carson was not only something I was unwilling to do, but it would be unwise. To date Sebastian was the only one who had been able to offer protection against those that wanted to take me back. If I left him, I might as well be dead.

I bowed my head and gazed at my hands, unable to maintain his gaze as my mind continued its debate. His proposal should not have even stirred this dilemma, seeing as he would be a dead man walking within the hour, but the abruptness of his request had caught me completely off guard. By now I had assumed he would be trying to sneak his hands up my skirt, not offering to spend the rest of his life bound to me. I took a deep breath, finally regaining control of my tumultuous thoughts, pushing any hesitancy aside. There was only one objective I had for the night and that was to ensure Lord Carson was dead by morning. An objective which I would have to achieve by any means necessary.

"I know it is sudden," he spoke again, his hurried words interrupting my thoughts. I looked back up, his gaze capturing mine as he continued, "But since I met you last year I had come to want you…to need you. I thought perhaps it was a simple matter of infatuation. That your beauty, intelligence, and skill was a momentary appeal to me, but your near death in November made me realize that my feelings had grown to be much deeper than that."

He paused, leaning in towards me, pressing our foreheads together as he snaked his other arm around me. I froze momentarily before I forced myself to relax in his hold, pushing aside my instinctual reaction to wriggle free from his intimate hold. My heart pounded in my chest with anxiety as he brought his lips close enough that they brushed against mine.

"I love you, Sarah," his whispered, before his lips claimed mine.

My thoughts surged with panic as I felt his soft, warm lips move against mine. I didn't want this. There was only one person whose lips I wanted and they were not his. Still, I couldn't break our embrace. In less than an hour, I would have to convince this man that I was seducing him. Pulling away from him now would not be prudent.

With all my self control, I pushed my feelings of anxiety aside as my mind whirred as it tried to provide a caveat that would allow me to react positively to his attention. That was when a fantasy began to grow in my thoughts. It was not an unfamiliar fantasy, but one that caused me to relax under his touch as he pulled me to him. In my mind's eye, instead of his large slightly tanned hands, it was a gloved hand that pressed me against a strong, but trim frame and caressed my face. It was full, sumptuous lips that captured my own and as I took a deep breath, I could have sworn my nose caught the faint scent of earth, cinnamon, and musk.

Without warning, he broke the kiss, opening his eyes, his gaze reflecting concern.

"Is something wrong?"

My hands reached out, grabbing hold of him and pulling him to me as my body began to shake from the cold. I needed to engage him again before the fantasy's effects wore off.

"No." I answered breathily, closing my eyes before my lips collided against his, moving against his with all of the pent up hunger and need I had felt since that night Sebastian and I had shared after his return.

Lord Carson grunted, the hand that had been cupping my face quickly finding purchase in my hair, his other hand pressing me forcefully against him as he returned my actions with the same needy fervor. Though, unbeknownst to him, it was not him whom I was clinging to in desire, but rather Sebastian.

My fingers became entangled in what I imagined to be raven locks, passion and lust swelling within me in equal measure, my back arching as I moaned softly against his lips as he greedily grabbed my rear through my dress. A wanton sigh escaped my lips as he broke the kiss, choosing instead to trail hot kisses along my jaw and down my neck, while his hand that had been grasping a handful of hair moved to greedily grab at my swelling breasts. As he reached the base of my neck, he began to tease my sensitive flesh with both his lips and tongue, causing me to gasp, my body involuntarily jerking as I leaned my head back to give him better access.

"Sebas…tian," I whispered, almost inaudibly.

"Pardon the interruption."

As soon as I heard his velvety voice, my eyes snapped open, the fantasy completely shattering. I glanced towards Lord Carson, all previous feelings of arousal extinguished as if it was a candle that had been snuffed out as I registered that it was he who had been doing those things, not Sebastian. I recoiled from his embrace, the heat of shame radiating within me as I assessed our appearance.

Lord Carson finally recovered from his shock at us being discovered and leapt to his feet, straightening his waistcoat while huffing, "What are you doing here?"

My attention snapped to Sebastian, who I had not had the courage to face a moment ago as an unexplainable yet nagging thought that I had just betrayed Sebastian had averted my gaze, my heartbeat accelerating with nervous anticipation. He stood but a few meters away with a woolen shawl draped over his arm, a forced pleasant smile plastered to his face. To those who did not know him, they would not have thought anything about his demeanor. However, I could tell from the stiffness of his shoulders and the overly convincing way that he grinned at the two of us that he was absolutely livid, if not downright murderous.

Fortunately, that wrath did not seep into his words, but rather his tone was professionally civil as he answered, "When you stole out here with Ms. Wakefield, I noticed you did not have to foresight to bring any outerwear that might provide some protection from the cold of the night. Though," he paused, lowering his gaze, his eyes flashing with restrained anger for the briefest of moments as his gaze flickered over to my trembling frame, before his attention returned to Lord Carson and continued, "I suppose you did not consider such a garment, given what your intentions were."

Lord Carson gasped, his brow dipping with indignant frustration as he stormed up to Sebastian, daring to stand toe to toe with him as he looked down at the butler. However, Sebastian did not seem to be affected in the slightest by Lord Carson's aggression.

"How-How dare you!" Lord Carson seethed, "If you were my butler, I would have you sacked immediately for such insolence!"

"Then it is fortunate that I am not," Sebastian quipped, flashing a confident smirk.

Lord Carson sputtered with rage, finally managing, to get out, "Why you-!" before Sebastian cut him off.

"I suggest you return to the party, Lord Carson. I will see to Ms. Wakefield, seeing as you have rendered her into an unpresentable state."

I bit my lower lip, which was tender from the swelling caused by our feverish kissing as I twisted some of my hair, which had fallen completely out of the bun I had it swooped up in earlier.

Lord Carson glanced back at me, unwilling to leave me alone with Sebastian. I offered a reassuring smile as I rose from where I had remained sitting on the bench.

"It is alright. I will return to you presently."

He hesitated for a few moments longer before conceding to Sebastian's request, shooting him a pointed look as he passed by and made his way back up the path.

As soon as Lord Carson had disappeared from sight, Sebastian was by my side, wrapping the shawl securely around my shoulders before taking my face in his hands, angling my face in different directions, checking to see if he had left any marks on my skin.

"Are you alright?" he asked as he continued his inspection.

"Yes."

"Did he see?"

He paused, looking down at me as he allowed his hands to drop to his sides.

"No," I answered, shaking my head, "He still doesn't know. We are still on track."

He nodded, offering no further comment as he continued to stare at me, his brow furrowed with mild displeasure.

With a sudden shake of his head, as if to dismiss a thought, he stepped behind me and immediately set to reassembling my hair. I stared unblinkingly down at the gravel path as I tried to ignore the shivers his touch sent down my spine as his fingers slid effortlessly through my hair, occasionally ghosting across my neck. The silence between us was tense. I adjusted the shawl around my shoulders, watching my breath unfurl in thin wisps before it disappeared into the night air.

"Are you certain you are alright?" he repeated as he slid the last pin into place.

I sighed heavily, turning about to face him before I replied, "Yes, I am certain."

Sebastian crossed his arms across his chest, his gaze still skeptical as he looked down at me.

"He did not push his limits, did he?" he prodded, his eyes searching mine as he awaited my answer.

"It is not what I would have preferred normally," I began, my lips turning downward with displeasure, "But given what was at stake, it was a suitable exchange. I do not believe he will need any convincing that I will be attempting to seduce him later."

His frown deepened at my words before murmuring, "Yes, I should say not. If it were not for your words just now, I would have thought your actions a sincere reaction to his marriage proposal. I have not seen you in such a state since…"

He trailed off, his intense gaze never leaving mine as he reached out towards me and rested his hand on my shoulder, but close enough that he was able to stroke my neck with his thumb, causing my stomach to tense with anticipation. This was the first time he acknowledged what had happened and it made my heart beat a little faster

"Wait," I started, "you heard his proposal?"

"Of course," he replied softly, not ceasing in his actions, "given what happened while the young master and I were away, you really did not think I would allow you to venture on the grounds without protection, did you?"

When I did not answer, he continued, taking a step closer as he continued to rub my neck, "Though I wish I had interceded before things had progressed as far as they had. I must confess that I cannot bear the thought of someone else touching you so intimately."

I did not have time to completely register what he had said before he leaned forward, his lips capturing my own. As his soft, full lips moved against my own, I stiffened as if my body had been struck with a lightning bolt before I relaxed, my body melting into his as he wrapped his arms behind me to hold me closer. A desperate sigh escaped my lips as he broke the kiss to being trailing needy kisses along my jaw and down my neck. My back arched as his hand began to slide down my back, my left hand grasping his shoulder as my right hand entangled in his hair.

"Sebastian," I sighed sensually as I closed my eyes and leaned my head back.

 **Wait.** My mind interjected among the fog of pleasure that clouded my thoughts. **This feels too familiar…** The last words he had spoken echoed through my mind, "…I cannot bear the thought of someone else touching you so intimately." My thoughts cleared as they suddenly connected as his hand continued to glide down my back. He was retracing Lord Carson's actions as if he desired to erase the other man's touch from my body with his own.

"Sebastian," I started, removing my hands from his person.

Before I could object any further, his lips claimed mine once more. I felt indignation flare within me as I felt his hand hovering on my lower back, preparing to grab my rear. Without hesitation, I pulled back, breaking his hold on my body and slapped him across the face.

"How dare you!" I shouted as I scowled at him.

His gloved hand reached up to gingerly finger his cheek, which must have been stinging if the way my hand ached was any indication, his mouth slightly agape and his eyes wide with shock.

"What do you…-?" he began once he finally found his voice.

"Don't act like you don't know what you were just doing!" I interrupted, my hands clenching into fists, "I am your friend, Sebastian, not some object for you to claim! I don't belong to you!"

With that, I turned on my heels and began to storm back up to the manor, not caring if I left him behind. In fact, that was my preference at this moment. Tears of frustration pricked my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. **Who does he think he is?** I thought as I barged up the hill, the sounds of the ball beginning to become louder as I continued. **Though…I suppose I should have seen this coming.**

This had not been the first incident on which Sebastian had showed his possessive nature when it came to me. Since I had begun my work here, I had noticed the displeased glances others garnered whenever they did so much as touch me, even if there was not romantic intent. They had become all the more apparent since the night we shared in the bathing room, such as the level to which he reacted over Mr. Woodley. At the time, his intercession had been welcome. However, what had transpired tonight was different. It was not welcoming, but rather unnerving. He had been walking a fine line and he had just crossed it. I did not know which was more hurtful, the fact that Sebastian had revealed his true colors about how he viewed me or the fact that it proved that he was not as different from other men as I thought.

I huffed as I reached the veranda, my steps slowing as a tear escaped my eye as my heart seized painfully. I gruffly wiped the tear away, doing my best to push my emotions to the side. This was no time to be emotional. I had a mission to complete. In a half an hour it would be done and I could put this whole terrible evening behind me.

Letting out another deep breath, I steeled myself against any distracting thought and stepped back into the manor. The sounds of the festivities seemed to be louder than I remembered, possibly due to the lateness of the hour-seeing as how many of the guests had imbibed their fair share of alcohol or simply the fact that outside it had been peacefully silent. My eyes immediately began scanning the room for Lord Carson as I removed the shawl and wordlessly handed it to Tanaka, but could not find him. A sense of unease began to swirl in my stomach, but I refused to give in to such concern yet. He could be anywhere in this room. I needed a more advantageous position.

Having decided that, I began the tedious process of weaving my way through the crowd to make my way towards the refreshment table. My hope was that even if I could not see the lord from there, that he might see me want to continue our conversation. I continued to survey the crowd as I passed, but was disappointed when I still did not see him. Hopefully Sebastian's intrusion had not caused him to give up and leave without warning. Then this whole game of smoke and mirrors would have been for nothing.

"Would you care for a glass of champagne, my lady?" an unfamiliar voice asked.

I smiled thankfully at the footman, gladly accepting his offer. Due to the size of the event, Ciel had a few extra servants brought in for the occasion.

"Yes, thank you."

Turning my back to the table, I began to search the crowd once more, taking a long drawl from the glass. When I still saw no sign of Lord Carson on the lower level where the ballroom was, my gaze turned towards the stairs, following the line of guests that littered them until I reached the landing of the second floor. As I did I blanched, almost choking on the champagne. Standing rather conspicuously at the top of the stairs were the Double Charles. My mind whirred as I tried to make sense of this development. **What were they doing here? Didn't they know that their presence alone could jeopardize the whole mission?** I turned, my gaze quickly flitting over the crowd for a sign, any sign that Lord Carson was still here. My stomach tensed with anxiety as, once again, my search yielded nothing. Perhaps that's why I wasn't finding him. Perhaps he had seen the Queen's butlers and bolted.

"Sarah," a loud whisper came from beside me, a gloved hand firmly gripping my forearm before I could decide on my next move.

I turned to where the voice had originated, knowing by the long scarlet glove who it was before I came to fully face her.

"Angelina," I sighed, for once not overly pleased to see my friend. I had more important things to focus on at the moment.

"You have to tell me what is going on," she rushed, fanning herself as she looked to me to begin talking. Her lips slanted with impatience when I did not begin divulging what she wanted to hear, "I saw you step out with Lord Carson. Sebastian followed soon after, looking none too pleased. Then several minutes later Lord Carson returned, looking absolutely enraged, before excusing himself to the smoking room. And now you reappear…without Sebastian."

My thoughts clung in hope to her explanation that Lord Carson had gone to the smoking room.

"So Lord Carson has not left?" I asked, ignoring her explanation of her observations.

She huffed at me, putting her hands on her hips, "No, he hasn't. But why is that so interesting? What happened out there, Sarah?"

"Lord Carson confessed his love for me and offered me his hand," I stated absently as I began to survey the crowd with renewed determination, ignoring Angelina's gasp of surprise at my revelation.

From the corner of my vision, I saw a dark figure enter from outside. I stole a quick glance in that direction, even though I knew it would be Sebastian. I was correct, though I noted the look of indifference on his face as he turned to look in my direction before proceeding into the crowd, resuming his duties as if he had never left.

"Things got a bit heated," I continued before Angelina could barrage me with questions, "And Sebastian stumbled upon us. He sent Lord Carson back with the understanding that he would help to make my appearance presentable again. Then when we were alone, he told me he couldn't stand seeing another man touching me and then he kissed me."

I returned my gaze to Angelina, who stared at me with a similar look of shock as Sebastian had worn when I slapped him.

She opened and closed her mouth several times before she found the voice to speak, "Wait, Sebastian _kissed_ you?!"

"I tell you a lord has proposed to me and you focus on Sebastian kissing me?" I deadpanned, quickly losing patience with this conversation. In fifteen minutes, I was supposed to be conveying Lord Carson to the study, but he was still nowhere to be found.

"Of course I would! I've been waiting for him to do that for over two months now. It's about time he made his move!" Angelina huffed.

I frowned as Angelina's continued chatter faded into the background of my thoughts as I glanced back up to where Grey and Phipps had been several minutes ago to find they had disappeared as well. **Strange…** I thought. **I wonder where they went.**

To my left I saw someone approach us and I turned to see who it was, relief washing over me when I recognized the broad shouldered figure of Lord Carson.

"Ms. Wakefield," he sighed, seeming as relieved as I was, a warm smile curving his lips, "I am glad I found you. Would you care to share a dance?"

I smiled in return, ignoring Angelina when her mouth dropped open in shock, accepting the hand which he extended to me, relieved that it appeared the mission was not a total loss after all.

"It would be my pleasure."

Lord Carson made his apology to Angelina for stealing me away from her before he led me by the hand into the center of the ballroom. As the music began once more, we stepped close together, my left hand finding his shoulder while he carefully placed his right hand on the small of my back, our other hands clasping a moment before we began to dance about the room.

"Sarah," he began, his voice low as we made to turn causing me to look up at him, my body pressing against his for a brief moment as we did so, "I wanted to apologize for my actions earlier. I am afraid that I was overcome with my emotions and I took advantage of your vulnerable situation."

I smiled reassuringly at him before replying, "There is nothing to forgive, my lord. The only regret I have is that I was not able to give my answer before we were interrupted."

"Your answer?" he breathed, his eyes widening slightly in expectation.

I nodded my head, trying to muster the most genuinely affectionate look I could muster, "I wanted to tell you that I accept…I accept your offer."

I almost felt guilty when I saw the look of pure joy brighten his usually stoic expression, but this was a necessary deception to achieve my goal.

"You have no idea how relieved I am to hear you say that," he whispered, a broad smile breaking across his face.

We made three more passes around the ballroom, both smiling at one another in contented happiness, though for completely different reasons. His joy was borne from the false belief that I returned his feelings and would gladly be his wife. Mine was from the fact that he would be dead in a few hours. As we began our fourth pass, the quartet began to slow their pace of playing, signifying the end of this song would be coming soon. I looked to where Sebastian stood on the fringe of the crowd. He nodded, before disappearing from sight, the sign that I was to make my move.

"Lord Carson," I began, leaning into him so our bodies touched and moved against each other as we continued to dance.

"Yes?" he replied, quirking his brow at my actions.

"There is something I regret about earlier," I said, my voice lowering as we stopped along with the music, before I raised to stand on my toes, my hands resting on his chest as I whispered in his ear, "I wish that Sebastian had not interrupted us. I must confess that your ministrations left me wanting more. Would you care to indulge me? I know of a quite place where we can go where we will not be disturbed."

"You are certain we will not be interrupted?" he asked, his voice already hardened with an edge of aroused anticipation.

"I can guarantee it," I sighed before lowering myself to stand normally.

His eyes glinted with the lust that burned within his gaze and I tried my best to return it in kind.

"Then lead the way, my lady."

Without another word, I turned and began to weave through the crowd as I headed towards the stairs. As I began to ascend the stairs, I felt something press against my lower back. I turned to see Lord Carson standing a step below me, a teasing smirk on his face. Gazing down at him from under my lashes, I smirked sensually in return before slowly turning and sauntering up the remainder of the staircase. Once we were out of sight of the other guests, I took his hand in mine as I led the way to the study.

"Wait," Lord Carson's deep voice called from behind me, pressing up against my back, his hand covering the one with which I had grabbed the handle to the study, his voice a low whisper as he continued, "Are you certain you want to do this?"

Despite how his large hand covered mine, I managed to turn the handle and open the door.

"Yes."

With that, I entered the room, Lord Carson following closely behind. I had hardly locked the door behind us when he slammed me into the wall, his lips hungrily captured mine. I returned the favor in kind, my hands scrambling to undo the buttons of his shirt. A gasp of surprise escaped my lips as he broke the kiss, his hands firmly gripping my waist before hoisting me up, wrapping my legs around his waist as he pushed my skirts up. My eyes widened as he claimed my lips once more, his hips grinding against my own, his arousal pressing against me. This was happening faster than I expected. Where was Sebastian? I did not know how much longer I could keep up this charade.

I gripped handfuls of his shirt to keep from shoving him away as I felt his ringed hand trail up my leg to begin tugging earnestly at my panties.

"Ah!" I cried as his body suddenly went limp and I tumbled gracelessly to the floor.

The cover of over the fireplace was removed, causing the golden light of the fire to come spilling into the room.

"My, that as quite a fall."

I glared over at Sebastian as he lowered Lord Carson's unconscious body to the floor, urgently lowering my skirts.

"Took you long enough," I spat, removing the arsenic needle from the strap around my ankle.

A stifled chuckle came from the butler, which I did my best to ignore as I leaned over Lord Carson's body. I tugged his shirt open and lifted his arm slightly before inserting the needle into the soft skin of his armpit, not hesitating to inject the poison into his flesh.

"There," I sighed, leaning my back against the wall, letting my arms drop by my sides, "It is done."

"Well done," Grey's mocking voice cut through the silence that had descended on the room, both he and Phipps joining us, Phipps crouching down to examine the body as Ciel appeared from the shadows as well, "It's nice to know how far you will go in service of Queen and country."

"Yes," Phipps agreed, his gray gaze piercing my own as he continued, "Her Majesty will be very pleased."


	16. Pushing the Envelope

**Author's note:**

Hello, lovelies!

Ok, first of all, I have to thank each and every one of you for your patience in waiting for this chapter. Things have (hopefully) settled down for now and I will be able to make a more concentrated effort in writing future chapters. That being said, I will stick with posting every two weeks since I am hoping to start writing an Attack on Titan story soon.

Now on to specifics…I just want to thank everyone for their encouraging words and reviews: **alexandriasutherland98, xxvampirebitexx, Akuma-Sama2002, SkittleLuvr.x3, nightmooncat, Misia0123, fifi, ThePsychoBeauty, and Jummper.** Your continued support through this brief break has meant so much to me and has kept me working on writing when I wanted to give in and stop. And also a special shout out to my friend **TheLittlestRaindrop** for the behind the scenes encouragement to keep me going. I encourage you all to check out her works as well. Whether it is a one shot or a longer story you're looking for, you'll find a well written story waiting for you.

I sincerely apologize for how long it has taken to get this chapter to you all, but I hope you enjoy it. As promised, this chapter is from Sebastian's POV, so we'll get a peek into his thoughts on what has been transpiring and his feelings toward Sarah. Sebastian is a slippery one to write, so please let me know whether or not you think he stayed within character in this chapter. I do my best to keep the cannon characters as true to the original source material as possible. Thank you again for sticking with me through all this and for your continued support! Enjoy!

 **Chapter Sixteen- Pushing the Envelope**

"Oh, no," Mey-Rin whispered, a foreboding hint of panic in her voice, before she cried out, "SARAH!"

I grimaced as her high pitched cries pierced my ears and, for a moment, I was thankful that I had not been in a closer proximity to the laundry. Even though I was two floors above them, tending to my lord as he entertained Madam Red in his game room, her screeching was enough to set my teeth on edge. Despite this, I continued to listen intently, just to be sure whatever disaster the stupid maid had managed to set in motion was nothing that would need my attention.

A moment later I heard Sarah's hurried footsteps rush from the scullery to the laundry, followed by a shocked gasp. Oh dear, that could not be a good sign.

"Mey-Rin, what have you done?"

There was an uneasy, pregnant pause that followed her question.

"Uh, well, you see. I wanted to repay you for helping me when I was healing, so I thought I could do the laundry for you…"

Mey-Rin trailed off, giving a humorless laugh and I could almost envision Sarah staring, still somehow dumbfounded at the maid's capacity for absentminded destruction, at whatever chaos was before her. I stifled a chuckle as I heard Sarah sigh heavily, amused at her misfortune. Normally my annoyance at Mey-Rin's incompetence would have overwhelmed any sort of delight that I could have gleaned from this situation, but given how withdrawn Sarah had become in her dealings with me since the ball, I relished in her minor displeasure.

"A hand written note would have sufficed," Sarah murmured under her breath before sighing heavily and adding, "Nevermind. I will tidy things in here. You should see if Bard needs help with anything."

I groaned inwardly at her suggestion, knowing that she fully knew what Bard would need help with if Mey-Rin offered her assistance. Though, I suppose in her mind she was doing the couple a favor, along with the side benefit that it would ensure that Mey-Rin stayed out of her hair. She had no idea I would have to suffer for the fifteen or so agonizing minutes until Bard had achieved his release, the sounds of their clumsy copulation assaulting my ears. How two humans could make intercourse sound so unpleasant, I did not know. I found the whole affair to be rather disgusting, actually.

I could not stop my shoulders from stiffening as the sound of heavy breathing accompanied by sloppy kissing came from the room where I trained Sarah. Excellent…now I would have to clean that room before we trained there this afternoon. There was no scenario where I would allow her to come in contact with such filth. I huffed under my breath as I heard the rustling of fabric, followed by wanton moans. **Animals.**

My auditory torture was interrupted, however, as the loud rushing sound of fresh water being poured into the large washing pot drew my attention back to the scullery, though it was the sounds that followed that captured my full attention. My body tensed as the sound of her strained groans teased my ears, immediately calling to mind the image from a few weeks ago of her bent over the sink, similar groans escaping her slightly parted full lips as she emptied the washing basin, her loose hairs clinging to her cheeks and neck, small beads of sweat trickling down her neck, and surely down her back and between her ample breasts. I was certain she assumed her appearance was unappealing, however, at the time I could not help to wish that I had been allowed to render her to such a state. My thoughts had then wandered back to the night I had rushed my young master back from our failed attempt to kill Lord Carson…a night where, had the young lord not summoned me, I would have been able to, as they say, have my way with her.

I clenched my jaw as I recalled the memories from that night that would be forever burned into my mind. How soft she had felt as I traced my fingertips across her skin, how sweet she had tasted on my tongue, how intoxicating she had smelled as her usual scent of vanilla and cinnamon mixed with the smell of her growing arousal, all culminating into an enticing delight as she ground her voluptuous body against mine, my name dripping from her lips like honey as she experienced for the first time what someone like me could make her feel.

 **Yes…** I thought, my brow dipping slightly with a displeased frown as I shot my master a pointed look as he sat, unaware of my vexation, as he continued to toy with his aunt as they played chess. Unbeknownst to Madame Red, her nephew had beaten her minutes ago. The only reason he had not declared it so was he relished in her innocent struggle as she attempted to win, though no real hope existed for such an outcome. Had I not been cross with the child, I would have enjoyed the momentary swelling of pride within my chest as I saw a glimpse of a reward in the cultivation of his soul. However, my annoyance could not be overcome. Had that brat not summoned me that night, Sarah would have been my mate by now and I would not have to be dealing with the repercussions of what happened at the ball. Informing me that he had lied to Sarah about our whereabouts before returning to the manor was not something I felt deemed summoning me back to his side and I had ensured he knew how I felt about the situation. I had not done anything too drastic, but I was perhaps a bit rough with his care than I should have been, given his condition.

With a mixture of disgust and relief, I heard the cries of ecstasy ring from the training room, signifying Mey-Rin and Bard's tryst had been completed. I swallowed, trying to keep the bile from rising up the back of my throat. What rotten luck. It almost felt as if I was being toyed with. First, I enter into a contract, which seemed appealing at the time, but had instead saddled me with an impertinent brat who could not get dressed without my assistance. Had I known how long this contract would take to complete, I would not have bothered with the trouble, especially given the fact that he seemed to be in no rush at all to find those responsible for what had been done to him, choosing rather to take a 'wait and see' approach. If that was not unfortunate enough, I was additionally burdened with some of the most incompetent humans who have set foot on the earth. At this I thought I had reached to point of what I could bear. However, it seemed that fate was not finished with mocking me. For, in addition to my other grievous burdens, I had found a mate-not just any mate, either, but _the_ ultimate mate for me-only to find she had a strong will and an even stronger sense of propriety…it was too much. In my previous contracts, I had been forced to seduce both women and men to achieve my master or mistresses' goals. In most instances, it had only taken a promise of the pleasure to come for them to submissively let me claim them. However, Sarah, who had tasted a sampling of the heights of ecstasy to which I could ascend her to, and whose body yearned for it, almost calling out to me to do so, somehow managed to resist even the most subtle of my lures. I had often pondered what higher power I had angered to be cursed with such rotten luck. I did not believe in wallowing in self pity, as it was a rather undignified display, but my current situation was simply unfair.

"Sebastian!" my master's impatient voice cut through my thoughts, bringing me back to the present.

I smoothed down the front of my waistcoat, shaking off the tumult of emotions my musings had stirred as I turned my attention to the scowling, sour faced brat.

"Yes, my lord?"

"I called your name three times," he spat, his brow furrowing as his scowl deepened, "What has gotten into you?"

I forced a pleasant grin to my face as I cordially replied, "My apologies for my distracted state, my lord," I paused, noting how Madame Red's attention snapped to me from where she had been concentrating on the chess game, her eyes flashing with an inexplicable understanding, before continuing, "What is it that you require?"

"Hmph," he huffed before crossing his arms and turning his attention towards the chessboard, "I would like another cup of tea."

"Certainly, my lord."

As I retrieved his teacup and saucer from the small table that was positioned to the side between the two chairs, I felt Madame Red's inspecting gaze studying me, following my movements as I went over to the tea cart and expertly poured another cup. I had grown accustomed to her gaze frequenting my body, as with many who my lord entertained, however, I could sense that she was not simply doing so for her own entertainment, but rather as if she were trying to reconcile two mismatching pieces to a puzzle. Perhaps Sarah had spoken to her about what had happened two weeks ago at the ball.

"Would you care for another cup, madame?" I asked as I soundlessly returned my lord's refreshment to the table.

She flashed one of her charismatic smiles as she glanced up at me, though I noted the it did not quite reach her eyes, before replying, "No thank you. I am fine, Sebastian."

I bowed slightly in acceptance before I returned to my previous post by my master's side. For several minutes, the only sound that interrupted the silence of the game room was the ticking of the various clocks as both my lord and Madame Red's attention had returned to the game.

Her brow furrowed as she reached out an unsure hand, hovering it over the bishop, "I was relieved to hear that the dreadful business regarding Lord Carson has finally been resolved," she started, hesitantly moving her knight instead before leaning back in the chair, waiting for her nephew to make his move.

"Indeed," he agreed, swiftly moving a bishop of his own to remove the knight she had just moved from the board, causing her eyes to widen in disbelief as he did so. He leaned back, the beginning of a satisfied smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth as his movements mimicked those of his aunt, "Though Randall seemed to want to make a nuisance of himself and drag out the investigation. Fortunately he and his men found exactly what we wanted them to: that Lord Carson had died of complications from alcohol poisoning."

"Yes, it is rather fortunate that Sarah was able to keep a steady head through the whole thing, or else you might have had another failed attempt you would have had to explain to the Queen," Madame Red murmured as she rested her chin on her hand as she studied the board once more, pausing briefly before adding, "Especially considering the offer he had made to her just minutes before she had to kill him."

At this, her gaze momentarily flitted from the board up to me before returning to the game once more, confirming my suspicions. Sarah had spoken with her.

"I have made Her Majesty aware of Sarah's contributions to the mission," he curtly replied, "Though I am sure the Double Charles' report would have sufficed. That is why she sent them, after all."

"Well I am glad that you made a point to speak well of her work," Madame Red said somewhat absentmindedly, her brow deepening as she studied the board.

At this, he took up the teacup, pausing as he raised it to his lips, "My words regarding Sarah's involvement were not motivated by any special intent. The Queen wanted an accurate recounting of the events of that night, so that is what I provided," he closed his eyes, taking a disinterested sip before returning his gaze to his aunt, his brow quirking as he teasingly prodded, "Are you going to make a move?"

A subtle smirk tugged at my lips as I sensed his aura swell with the satisfaction and pride at having so expertly dominated his prey.

Madame Red closed her eyes and heaved a heavy sigh before reclining in the wingback chair, her shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Why do I feel like you've already beaten me?"

After taking another sip of his tea, my lord sat his cup down, not bothering to hide the triumphant smirk that had been teasing his lips for the past ten minutes.

"Because I have," he answered, eliciting a disgruntled groan from his aunt, before adding as he began to set the board again, "Play again?"

"You've already beaten me four times," she whined in objection, though the moment her eyes met her nephew's, it was clear she would not deny him what he wanted.

"Fine," she continued, heaving another sigh as she righted herself in her seat, "This will have to be the last one, though. I am assisting with a surgery at the hospital tomorrow, so I want to return home in time to get enough sleep to be rested."

My lord nodded in acceptance as he finished reassembling the board, adding, "I will let you go first."

The next few minutes passed in studious silence as Madame Red and my lord dealt a series of crushing blows and counterblows. However, when it came to a battle of the mind, my lord was astutely gifted, especially for someone of his age. It had become abundantly clear in those few minutes that he would yet again rise from this game of cat and mouse victorious.

"My I ask you something, Ciel?" Madame Red started, something in her voice sounding unsure as she moved her pawn to take one of his.

"Of course," was the only reply he offered, quickly moving his knight to remove one of her bishops.

Instead of continuing the game, she paused, her gaze boring intensely into her nephew's, all her normal airs of teasing and playfulness replaced by sobriety.

"What has caused you to be so distant with Sarah?"

From the corner of my vision, I saw my lord's lips dip with displeasure at the sudden turn in conversation. I turned towards him, curious to see how he would explain his hostility towards her. As I had desired, Sarah's quick action and firm hand while she saved his life had been the first step in the right direction in mending their relationship, a fact which I hoped would ease the strain I was under in my current situation acting as demon, butler, and mate. It would be much simpler if my prey and my mate were on good terms. Sarah's affections towards him needed no prodding at all, rather she seemed to love the child. The way she had looked at him after he had passed out when she had treated him that night we had returned was enough of a guarantee of where her loyalties lay. However, despite his softening feelings towards her there was one thing my master was above all else, and that was stubborn…to a fault, really. It would take more than one act of kindness for him to lower his guard. My brows twitched momentarily in vexation as he remained silent. Sometimes this obstinate child could be more trouble than he was worth.

The frustrated frown that creased Madame Red's brow mirrored her nephew's when he offered no explanation.

"I understand why you would have been reserved when she first arrived, but why do you still not trust her?" she prodded, leaning forward slightly as she awaited some sort of response.

He brought a contemplative hand to his chin as he continued to stare down at the board, as if he were still choosing to ignore her questions. However, the pensive look I caught in his gaze indicated rather that he was preparing for his next conversational move.

After a few more moments of tense silence, Madame Red opened her mouth to speak, when she was cut off as my lord replied, "Because she has not been entirely forthcoming with me."

Her mouth dropped open in disbelief at his curt response.

"Surely she has not been hiding something," she defended, taking one of her knights in her hand as she prepared to move it.

"Then tell me why I do not understand the importance of Italy," he replied, his voice hushed as his gaze suddenly snapped to his aunt who sat directly across from him.

The knight clattered onto the chessboard, sending various other pieces tumbling as well and I could not suppress the satisfied smirk that tugged at my lips. Well played, my lord.

The air was thick with tension as Madame Red stared intensely at her nephew, frozen in place with her hand still hovering over the now fallen knight, her eyes flashing with a foreboding recognition.

"Never speak of Italy," she whispered, almost inaudibly, though the warning that was laced in her words was unmistakable.

"Why not?" my lord challenged, taking a quick sip from his teacup before placing it back on its saucer, continuing, "If the rumors are true, then she only made the mistake of sleeping with a married man and, possibly, his son. This is something that, while disgraceful, can easily be overlooked. However, she refuses to speak a word on the matter, which leads me to believe that the rumors are not entirely true."

The intensity of her gaze faltered, a pained look coming over her visage a moment before she tore her gaze away and cast it to the floor.

"They are not true, not in the way the rumors convey, at least."

"Then why does she not defend her honor?" he pressed further, leaning forward in his chair.

My eyes narrowed as I saw the brief flicker of fury pass across her face before she snapped her attention back to her nephew, piquing my curiosity at her reactions. Whatever had transpired in Italy must have been truly scandalous to have garnered such a passionate response from both Sarah and Madame Red.

"You do not understand!" she started, her voice rising in pitch and volume as she continued, "The things that were done to her were cruel and horrid! She cannot bear to speak of them, even to save her reputation."

"But to not even be able to speak of it?" the child scoffed, "What a cowardly-…"

"Enough!" Madame Red shrieked, her sudden violent interruption causing even myself to jump. Her chest heaved with suppressed anger, her eyes swirling with both determination and pain as she continued to stare at the startled boy. She took a deep breath, her expression softening somewhat as she continued, her tone filled with sorrow, "She cannot speak of what happened in Italy…because it destroyed her."

My eyes widened, fury blazing through my veins at her confession. What had been done to her that had broken her so completely? Despite having lost her family, her title, and almost everything that humans clung to in attempt to give their lives meaning, where lesser people may have crumbled under the weight of such adversity, she did not. Whatever had been done to her must have been as atrocious as Madame Red's response indicated. I clenched my fists at the realization. Whoever had done this, no matter who they were or where they were from, would pay dearly for their crimes.

"I…I would know," Madame Red continued, her voice shaking as the tears that had been welling in her eyes began streaking down her face, "I was there when her father received word that she was in dire need. I was one of the only ones who was there, who stayed with her through it all. You did not see her then."

She paused, her voice faltering as she cast her gaze downward once more as if looking her nephew in the eye was too much to bear. Taking an unsteady breath, she pressed forward in her explanation.

"You did not see the vacant emptiness of her stare as she lost all interest in life. You did not have to hear her terrified screams, powerless to do anything but watch her suffer until her body freed her from the memory fueled nightmare. You…you did not have the wrench the gun from her hands to stop her from attempting to take her own life."

At this last confession, her words were cut short as a mournful sob came from her lips before she clamped a hand over her mouth to silence her sobs. I stood, frozen in shock just as my master was. It was incomprehensible to think of anything that would have driven Sarah to such a point, not when she had weathered other terrible adversities with such determination and drive. **Though** , my mind reminded me as I glanced over to my master, **this would not have been the only time I had seen a human arise from such a terrible tragedy.** However, how she had done so without the aid of a demon such as myself was beyond understanding.

Having recovered, my young master signaled towards me, gesturing wordlessly to attend to his aunt. With an acknowledging nod, I turned, quickly pouring a fresh cup of tea before taking it to her side.

"My lady," I soothed, placing a gentle hand on her back as I proffered a handkerchief, drawing her attention to me as I set the teacup and saucer on the table beside her.

"Thank you," she whispered thickly, giving me a weak yet grateful smile as she took it from my hand and began to dab her eyes, which were thick with tears and swollen from crying.

When she had further composed herself, I returned to my master's side.

"Aunt Angelina," he began, his tone soft and soothing as he continued, "I understand your hesitancy. However, I would not be as insistent if I did not feel it was necessary."

He paused, turning his attention to me for a moment, "Sebastian, bring the box here."

I bowed slightly at his command, "Yes, my lord."

At his word, I quickly made my way to his chambers to retrieve the small oak jewelry box. Since I had uncovered the ruby crested ring in the rubble of the Wakefield manor, it had rested within the box until my lord decided it was the time to reveal our find to Sarah. However, since the ring that had been found three months ago now had a newly acquired mate, our hand had been pushed in a direction that required that we act in some capacity and soon. The enemy, whoever it was, had begun to make it rather clear that they were determined to reclaim her.

My lips and brow dipped in displeasure as that pestering thought dug at the corners of my mind once more. I entered my lord's chambers, walking directly to his wardrobe and retrieved the ornately carved box from within before turning on my heel to return to the game room. That is why the current state of the delicate relationship between Sarah and I was so infuriating. Having a potential mate who was difficult to seduce would have been frustrating enough, certainly. However, having such a mate, compounded with the fact that someone had and currently still wished to do her harm made the situation almost unbearable. Especially considering that, should my suspicions be correct, that "someone" was another demon. If only I could start the mating process, it would simplify matters somewhat. It would also help to pacify the unease I felt about the whole situation. I could not tolerate the idea that after investing my resources into claiming Sarah as my mate, another demon might easily swoop in to steal her from me. It would not do at all.

As I passed by the door to the training room, I heard the door slam shut followed by an conspicuous squeak.

"Do you think he saw us?" Mey-Rin's hushed voice asked.

"I don't think so," Bard mumbled in reply.

I rolled my eyes in chagrin. **Imbeciles.** Though it was within my duties to press the matter further, I chose against it. The matter at hand was more important than the satisfaction of "discovering" the couple would be.

"Ah, there you are, Sebastian," my lord's impatient voice greeted me as I entered the game room, closing the door silently behind me.

Madame Red sat her tea cup down on its saucer with a clink as I approached, her eyes fixated on the box.

"As I was saying," my lord continued, gesturing towards me, indicating I was to open the box, which I did, bending slightly to allow the lady a better view of the pair of rings that were tucked securely into the rich blue velvet interior, "recent events have brought certain things to light which require us to investigate further. Events which seem to somehow have ties to Sarah and what really happened in Italy."

Madame Red's brow furrowed in curious observation as she reached and gingerly touched one of the rings.

"Where did these rings come from?" she asked, her fingers tracing over the gem of the tarnished ring which had come from the Wakefield manor's ruins before they ventured over to the second one.

"The first was recovered from the rubble of Wakefield manor, though we do not know the bearer. However," he said, pausing as she hooked her finger in the ring to pull it out, holding it in her open palm as she inspected it further, "the second we acquired recently. Lord Carson was wearing it the night of the ball."

"Lord Carson?" she asked, glancing over to her nephew momentarily before returning to her inspection of the ring, "Why would his ring be of importance?"

I gently retrieved the ring from the palm of her hand to bring it closer to her face.

"If I may, look closely at what appears beneath the ruby."

She shot me a questioning look, but heeded my suggestion, her eyes squinting as she tried to see to what I was directing her. After another moment or so her eyes widened in fearful recognition, a surprised gasp escaping her lips.

"I don't understand," she said, her voice laced with disbelief as she turned to her nephew, looking for some sort of explanation, "This…this is the mark that Sarah…"

Her voice trailed off, her gaze returning to the box as I slipped Lord Carson's ring back into its spot.

"The other ring bears the same mark. We cannot make it out completely, but it appears to be some sort of infinity symbol," my lord explained as I closed the box, still holding it as I resumed my post by his side.

"Yes," Madame Red agreed, her voice somewhat distant as she returned her attention to us, "so you believe that Lord Carson was somehow tied with the events in Italy?"

My lord took a long draw from his teacup, swallowing the last of the contents before replying, "It was merely conjecture before your reactions confirmed it. Whether or not Lord Carson was connected with the events that took place almost two years ago, we cannot be sure. However, we believe that his motivations for proposing to her were less than genuine."

"Why would you think that?"

"Because it appears to be the enemy's most logical move," my master answered, lacing his fingers together and placing his hands on his lap as he reclined in his chair, "In both November and January they attempted an open attack to retrieve her and in both instances they were unsuccessful. They must have realized that a more subtle approach was needed rather than brute force. We believe that is how Lord Carson became involved."

He paused, his cerulean gaze searching his aunt's to verify she had followed his explanation. When he was satisfied that she did, he continued, "He was a perfect candidate for such a covert effort. He already knew Sarah and, to her knowledge, was interested in her enough that a proposal of marriage would not have been unbelievable. And given her current state of affairs, he would be able to provide her with everything she can not provide for herself: wealth, status, and freedom. It would have been quite a difficult proposition to refuse. To her credit, though, it is largely due to her determination to achieve the Queen's goal that she is still with us."

I cast a sharp look towards my master in correction, which he promptly ignored. He knew I was more than capable of keeping her safe, however, he was saying such things to annoy me. **Insolent brat…I cannot wait to eat your soul.**

"So," Madame Red began, her voice slow and unsteady, "you believe that Lord Carson's proposal was just a ruse to lure her away?"

My lord gave a slight nod, before continuing, "Yes, that is our theory. It seems that whoever is pulling the strings is determined to get her back. It may seem calloused, but that it why Sarah doesn't have the luxury of refusing to speak on the matter any longer. We need to know what we are up against and why."

The room fell silent once more as he concluded his explanation. Madame Red turned her head to gaze out the window, her brow creasing as she rested her chin on her hand. I did not need to see her eyes to know she was debating on how she should proceed in light of the new information we had shared. Hopefully, given that I had been unsuccessful in convincing Sarah to divulge what had happened, Madame Red would be willing to persuade her to speak.

"I will speak to her about it when I see her again," she agreed, turning her attention back to us, "but I cannot share anything more than I have. It is not my place."

She paused, glancing at the clock on the mantle piece before rising to her feet, my lord rising as well.

"But I will not force her to do it," she continued, following behind me as I proceeded ahead to open the door for her, "She has suffered enough because of what was done to her. I refuse to make her relive that again."

/

"When you said you wanted to train me on overpowering a stronger opponent, this wasn't what I had in mind," Sarah groaned as she struggled against my hold.

I chuckled, my nose grazing against the crest of her ear, relishing in the feeling of her back pressed against me. Another wave of the scent of her arousal teased my senses and I had to suppress the groan of want that my throat ached to voice as her rear ground into my hips as she struggled to get free. However, I was too strong for her to break free, given how I restrained her with my left arm about her waist, my right hand grasping firmly onto her neck.

"Why, I figured that since you had been unable to free yourself from similar positions in the past that this would be the perfect way to start," I quipped, pulling her flush against my body with a firm jerk.

I smirked as the only response she gave was a huff, enjoying the challenge she was posing. I could tell by the determined way she ground her teeth along with her refusal to make eye contact with me that she was acutely aware of how my hold on her was affecting her body and she was doing her best to resist. Poor thing did not realize I had her exactly where I wanted her. Since the incident at the ball, I had come to realize that if I wanted to seduce Sarah that I would have to take a more subtle approach than to what I was accustomed. In that moment I had allowed my jealousy to cloud my better judgement and I had acted rashly, forgetting how perceptive she could be and I had come to pay the price. However, in the past three months I had studied Sarah carefully to learn the best approach to use in order to ensnare her, so I resorted to those discoveries to weasel my way back into her good graces.

It began with soft, subtle touches: an "unintentional" brush of our hands as we reached for the same item, our bodies working in an increasingly closer proximity whenever we shared a task, or finding an occasion such as chopping firewood to showcase my physique and brute strength. It was tedious work, but, so far as I could tell, my efforts had begun to pay off. She had stopped maintaining the distance between us that she had initially returned to after the ball, slowly allowing me to grow closer to her again. She had even accepted my invitation for a nightcap last night, which had ceased after the ball as well. Yes, if there was one thing I had noticed about Sarah it was that if she was given a physical stimulus long enough that her feelings would eventually win out over her mind, despite her best efforts. Granted I knew she had not forgiven me, but this was progress.

"Now," I began, my voice calm and steady as I spoke into her ear, "calm yourself and remember what I have taught you. What do you do when someone grabs you like this?"

At my instruction, I felt the tension leave her body as she instinctually heeded my words. A perk to having a human who was compatible to being your mate is that they tended to be more submissive when given orders.

"You strike with the elbow," she answered with assurance as she jerked her left arm, her elbow striking my face at the correct point before she used her right elbow to strike my groin, adding, "then strike the groin!"

I loosened my hold as a human aggressor would with a grunt, crumbling forward as she broke through my arms and made to sprint away. A satisfied smirk lit my face as she made to escape. I was enjoying this too much to let her go yet.

"Not so fast," I called, reaching out and grabbing her left ankle, causing her to fall to the ground with a cry.

She growled in frustration and I ducked, her right leg barely missing my head as she flipped herself onto her back as she made to kick me. Unfortunately for her, I foresaw this move coming and avoided her kick, pinning her right leg down instead as I climbed on top of her, holding her securely in place as I rested my hips on hers.

"Sebastian!" she cried in surprise and made to strike my ears with both her hands.

However, I foresaw this too and caught hold of her wrists as they cut through the air, pinning her arms by her head. I could not suppress the smirk that tugged at the corner of my mouth as I heard her pulse quicken and her abdomen tighten in anticipation, her cheeks flushing in a vibrant blush at her realization of the intimacy of our current position. For the briefest of moments, I soaked in how deliciously sensual she was as she writhed underneath me: her hair beginning to fall from her loosened bun, her lips parted as her breath was hurried from her struggling, the top two buttons of her shirt having come undone during the course of our training to reveal the generous swell of her breasts as her breath came in labored gasps. **Oh yes,** I thought as I felt the beginning burnings of desire spring to life within me, **this is exactly how I wanted her.**

She huffed in exasperation at her situation, effectively pulling me from my admiration of her sensual beauty.

"Fine, you have made your point," she paused, puffing some air towards her forehead to move aside a portion of hair that had fallen onto her brow and tickled the skin between her eyes, "Can you please tell me how to get out of this position?"

"I think not." I quipped with a mocking smile, earning a pointed glare from her.

"Why not?" she challenged.

"I'm afraid you have found yourself in this position far too often as of recently. I believe it would be best for you to figure this one out on your own."

She offered no response, save the deepening of her frown as she chewed her lower lip, her eyes sparking with a determined fury as her gaze bore into mine. I returned her gaze with a similar resolution, though my eyes glinted with playful satisfaction as well. Despite the fact that her stubborn nature had been a barrier to hinder my being able to make her my mate, it was one of the first aspects of her personality that had attracted me to her for such an option. She could be frustrating at times, but I thoroughly enjoyed the challenge.

She studied my expression for a few moments longer, a brief flicker of disappointment coming across her features as she found no hint as to how to proceed from my body language. Hesitantly, I felt her push against my hold on her wrists, her hips grinding against mine as she tried to move them to throw off my balance. I grit my teeth to silence the growl that wanted to rumble up my throat as her movements elicited sensations of arousal in both of us. The groans and sighs of exertion that escaped her lips did not help to calm my increasingly sensitive nerves as her body continued the rub, push, and grind against mine as she attempted to knock me off balance.

After a few more minutes of the exercise, I gave up on allowing her to continue to struggle. Mostly because I knew that if my need and arousal became apparent to her that I would lose all of the ground I had managed to regain. If I was going to do so, I would need her to learn quickly, as I did not know how much more of her thrusting I could endure before the hardness within my pants could be recognized as anything but what it was.

"Now, now," I purred, unable to mask the rough tone of my voice as I pushed her arms back down again, hovering over her as I continued, "I expected more from you than this."

"I cannot help that you are stronger than me!" she hissed, growling in frustration she ceased resisting.

However, I noted the stubborn determination that burned in her eyes as she stared up at me, tiny beads of sweat starting to appear on her nose and forehead from the strain her body had undergone the past several minutes. Oh no, even though the limpness of her body beneath me gave all the pretense of submission, she had not surrendered. This was the side of her I most enjoyed seeing. In her duties as a maid she was so agreeable, so pliable and accommodating, so willing to please that the first few times I saw the strength of her will I had been taken aback. Yet, once I had gotten a taste of how fiery she could be, I could not help but be drawn back for more. There was a part of me that relished in her resistance, but another part that wanted to fully dominate and break her. For now I decided that I would settle for provocation.

"Not giving up already, are we?" I teased, a smirk prompting a flare of offense from her as I continued, "I thought you were more resilient than that."

She glared at me in return, pushing against my hold with her whole body. To her credit, she managed to lift us of the ground by about an inch before her body crumbled to the floor once more. Her chest heaved exaggeratedly as she gasped for air, her cheeks flushing. What a picture. I would have to remember this for a time when I had the occasion to pleasure myself.

"Why, Sarah, this simply will not do. Come now, I know you are smart girl," I said patronizingly, "do not simply react to this oppression, think through it."

I watched the wheels of her mind turning as her eyes eagerly searched mine for a clue. Without warning, she pushed up with her right leg, shifting her weight as she pivoted her hips against mine, forcing my body to turn with hers. Against a human opponent, perhaps she would have been able to take control of the situation. However, I knew her enemies were most likely of a supernatural nature, so I would not let her claim domination so easily. And admittedly, I was not done having my fun. So I pushed back with my hips, returning her to her previous position with a less than delicate motion, much to her frustration, if the cry she gave out was any indication.

My ears perked as I heard a set of two footsteps approaching. From the tone and pace I supposed it to be Bard and the young lord. The latter had called for me several times during the course of the training, but I was currently engaged. Surely whatever the brat _thought_ he needed could wait until I had my fill of fun here. That is probably why he had sought the cook out to find me…he knew how insufferable I found the man to be.

My attention was drawn back to the matter at hand as she thrust her body upwards into mine. The sudden nature of her movements surprised me and I was unable to silence the sensual gasp that came from my lips, my pants suddenly becoming tighter than they had been a moment ago as a shot of pleasure rushed to my groin. Sarah's eyes widened and another wave of the scent of her own arousal assaulted my senses in response to my reaction.

From just outside the door, I heard Bard say, "They should be in 'ere. They usually come 'round this time o' day for Sarah's training."

Excellent…they would be in here soon. I was running out of time.

"Is that all you have?" I prodded, "I do not know if you are giving your best. Why, I think any passerby would say that you simply enjoy grinding yourself against my body."

She gasped in shock at my forward suggestion, but I continued on, adding, "I know you better than that. Now, use your head."

Without hesitation, she pushed herself up from the floor, smashing her forehead into mine. Though the blow itself did not harm me, it did catch me off guard enough that when she moved her right leg to repeat the move she had attempted a moment ago, she was able to overpower me. She used all her strength to throw me to the ground, eagerly taking the same position I had been in a moment prior. Her nails dug into my wrists as she slammed my arms to the ground by my head. It stung a bit, but I enjoyed the pain. In the brief moment I had after she had dominated me, I soaked in the raw, animalistic thrill of being underneath her. Typically I did not tolerate being in such a position with my mates. **However,** I thought as I gazed up at her, my eyes glowing in demonic delight for the briefest of seconds, as I enjoyed how provocative she was as she straddled my waist, her hair having almost completely fallen from the bun, another button of the shirt having come undone in the struggle, causing the shirt to slide off her right shoulder and opening to reveal the soft flesh of her ample breast until her corset began, **I think I would be willing to allow her to dominate me occasionally.**

"That is not what I had in mind when I said to 'use your head'," I teased.

It was her turn to smirk, ignoring the angry red mark that had appeared on her forehead where she had struck me and surely must be throbbing terribly at this point as she quipped, "But it worked, did it not?"

I made to reply but I was cut off when the door to the room opened.

"Blimey!"

"What-what the devil is going on here?!"

Sarah visibly stiffened at my lord and Bard's reactions, a fresh flush of embarrassment coloring her cheeks and spreading down her neck. We both turned and looked at the two, Sarah quickly averted her gaze and clamored to get off me, fixing her shirt as she saw how both gentlemen gazed at us with wide eyed expressions, though one's expression was that of horrified shock and the other of approval and appreciation of the display.

"Why hello, my lord," I lightheartedly greeted them as I supported myself as I reclined back on my elbows, acting as if nothing was out of sorts, a falsely innocent smile gracing my features.

"Would you please explain what exactly is going on?" the little earl demanded, his look of shock quickly turning into a frown of disapproval.

"I was teaching Sarah how to overtake a stronger opponent should she find herself in a position where she has been overpowered," I answered, before adding, " Would you like a demonstration?"

Sarah shot me a pointed look as she gingerly massaged her forehead, telling me before my lord had spoken that it was out if the question.

"Hmph!" my lord huffed, his frown deepening, "I do not wish to see such a lecherous display. Come, there is something I wish you to do."

"Yes, my lord."

With that I rose, helping Sarah to her feet as well before we both followed the gentlemen's retreating figures out into the hallway. My lord began walking to the left towards the direction of his study and I made to follow, but paused briefly, turning towards Sarah and Bard who had begun to make their way to the servant's stairs.

"Bard," I called, causing them both to stop and turn towards me, "Please make sure Sarah applies some ice to her forehead. It will help with the swelling and discomfort."

"Yes, sir," he replied with a nod before turning and catching up to Sarah, who had already begun walking away.

"Sebastian," my lord said as more of a calling command rather than a statement.

"Coming, my lord."

As Sarah and Bard entered the stairway, I smiled amusedly at their conversation as their voices echoed off the wood and plaster of the narrow stairs.

"Gotta say I was right surprised when I saw you two like that," Bard chuckled before adding, "Are you sure there's nothing goin' on between the two of you? The whole thing looked rather natural to me, if ya know what I mean."

A moment later he hissed in pain as the sound of Sarah slapping him rang through the air. I had to stifle a chuckle as I imagined the scene.

"You are just as perverse as Sebastian," she huffed, "And for the last time, there is _nothing_ going on between us!"

"Are you sure? 'Cause you two seemed to be enjoying it quite a bit," Bard prodded, earning him another slap.

"Just shut it, Bard," she warned.

"Though I gotta admit," Bard continued, seemingly unfazed by her warning, "I didn't take Sebastian for a man who likes to be on the bottom. Always seemed like the dominant type to me."

"Bard!" she hissed.

"What? I's just saying."

The two kept bickering as they continued their way down to the bottom floor of the mansion. Though, as much as I was entertained by the two, I refocused my attention on my master who continued to stomp angrily before me.

"I have been calling for you for several minutes," he spat, inclining his head toward where I walked just behind him, "Why didn't you come?"

"I was indisposed, my lord. You know I am busy at this time of day, even when I am not training Sarah. I am your servant, not your dog."

My last words seemed to have struck a nerve as the young master turned on his heel to face me, his eyes burning with all the bitterness and hatred he felt towards me.

"That is exactly what you are. You are a base creature, a beast, a demon driven by the most primal needs of hunger. And as such, I shall treat you accordingly. So long as you are bound to me by this contract, you are at the mercy of my command," he paused to take a breath, his arms trembling with rage as he clenched his hands, "So you are never indisposed. You will answer when I call for you, no matter the time, place, nor reason. Is that understood?"

I closed my eyes, placing my hand over my chest as I bowed slightly.

"Yes, my lord."


	17. Valentine's Misfortune

**Author's Note:**

Hello, lovelies! Welcome to chapter seventeen!

A few quick items before we get started…firstly, I would like to announce that, courtesy of **Akuma-Sama2002** , this story has an official ship name of Sebarah. I cannot tell you how exciting it is to see that you all like both of the characters enough to ship them together. *squeal*

Also, I would be amiss if I did not take a quick moment to thank everyone who has read, followed, favorited, and left a review: **Akuma-Sama2002, Aservis Roturier, Mira Black-Snape, Misia0123, and moonlitekaty.** Your support is appreciated more than you know.

So, without further ado, I give you chapter seventeen. Enjoy!

 **Chapter Seventeen: Valentine's Misfortune**

My nose crinkled at the sharp, offensive smell of the blacking as I dabbed on a generous amount of the thick paste before I began to buff it into the dark leather of Ciel's boots. It would have been much nicer if this could have been done outside, but the unseasonably warm February weather we had experienced was short lived, and we had been plunged into winter weather once more, if the thick layer of frost that still coated the grounds outside was any indication. To be honest, I really should not have been polishing the shoes, however, it was Finny's responsibility and he, along with the most of the other servants, seemed to be uncharacteristically distracted today. So I had decided to utilize this brief moment of free time to complete this duty. If I could save the innocent gardener from a tongue lashing from Sebastian, then I would.

The cause for their distraction was simple…today was Valentine's Day. I had come to despise the holiday before I came to work here, but I had come to realize that since then I had developed an acute loathing for the event. It is not that I did not appreciate the brightly colored cards I had received this morning at breakfast, though Sebastian appeared to be slightly peeved at the affectionate display. In fact, I thought their little notes were rather endearing. However, it had been the shared glances between Mey-Rin and Bard, followed by their questioning glances betwixt Sebastian and I that I found unbearable. After breakfast, I had attempted to retreat to Ciel's study, but before I could, the couple cornered me and demanded that I tell them what Sebastian had given me. I once again reiterated that nothing of the sort was happening between us, so there was no need for him to have given me anything. By this point, I realized it was an exercise in futility to believe my words might somehow convince them of the reality of the situation.

When they had first begun to question the nature of our relationship, it had been cause for acute distress and embarrassment that they would even suggest such a scandalous affair was taking place. However, the novelty of their curiosity had worn off and now it had become bothersome, especially since I did not quite know what my feelings towards the butler were anymore. I knew for certain, much to my chagrin, that my body still yearned for his touch. But when I had considered whether or not I believed Sebastian was my friend, I found I could not ascertain a satisfactory conclusion.

Since the night of the ball, I had realized that something in our relationship had shifted. I could not figure what exactly, but there was something different in the way Sebastian looked at me that I had not noticed before. Then there were his actions from that night that had to be considered, the possessive way he had tried to reclaim my body from Lord Carson's attention. What he had done infuriated me initially. He had no just cause to feel he could treat me in such a way. I was attempting to seduce the man enough that I could kill him, surely he had realized such things might have to take place. And then there was the gnawing fact that he had no right for the simple fact that I was not his. His actions were that of a jealous lover rather than a friend and, while we had shared some intimate physical interactions that had shown his potential interest in me, he had made no concrete declarations of his intentions towards me. However, the undercurrent of possessive determination I noticed lurking underneath his gaze revealed that he viewed me as more than a friend. Perhaps he had for some time and I had not seen it. I was not always the best judge when it came to discerning the matters of my own heart, more or less another's. The situation as a whole had left me a little unnerved and uncertain as to how to proceed, which was disconcerting, seeing as Sebastian seemed to have a clear vision of what he desired.

I huffed, setting the last of the shoes aside as I finished. As I screwed the lid of the blacking back on the container, I briefly lamented my state of affairs. I had thought that being reduced to an insignificant, no-name maid would have forced my life into a much simpler way of living. However, it seemed to have the opposite effect.

My thoughts were interrupted as a quick succession of knocks came from the doorway of the servant's hall.

"Sarah," an all too familiar voice called to me.

I knew before I looked up from my work to see who was standing in the entrance, the honeyed tones that echoed with a slight bass treble giving their identity away immediately.

"Yes, Sebastian?" I answered?m? inquiringly as I began to put away the polishing supplies in the small basket in which they were stored.

"My lord wishes to see you in his game room," he paused, eyeing me with a look of slight disapproval as I continued to tidy up, adding with a tone of finality, "Immediately."

I nodded and rose from the table, knowing that any response to the contrary was out of the question. Whatever Ciel wanted to discuss with me must have been of great import if Sebastian was requesting I leave a job incomplete.

"Though," he began, his nose scrunching in disgust, " you may want to wash your hands and change your apron before you do. The room reeks of blacking, as I am sure you do as well."

I sniffed my wrist to confirm his suggestion. However, the stench that was in the air was too strong for me to really tell.

As I brushed past him on my way to the scullery, Sebastian took one last glance at the shoe filled table before following behind me.

"I thought I had ordered Finny to polish the shoes today."

"You did," I answered as I approached the sink, unbuttoning my sleeves before I began to roll them up to my elbows, "But I had some free time, so I thought I would help out where I could."

I glanced over to Sebastian as he came to stand by me as I washed my hands and forearms, facing the other way as he reclined back on his elbows, which rested on the countertop. He heaved a dramatic sigh, casting his russet gaze towards the ceiling as his lips dipped in a frown of disappointment.

"I do wish you hadn't," he bemoaned forlornly, "That has afforded Finny enough time to try to give Lady Lilith her Valentine's Day present."

At this, he paused, his eyes narrowing as he looked at me pointedly, before adding, "I am still cross with you for having him ask me to see her."

I chuckled, shaking my head slightly at his melodramatic display as I snatched a fresh cloth from the shelf and dried my hands and arms. If there was one thing he was sensitive about, it was the precious "Lady Lilith".

"I am sorry to have offended your delicate sensibilities, at the time I did not realize how attached you were to her," I replied with feigned apology, a smirk teasing the corners of my lips as I added, "Though, you should not fret over Finny stealing her affections, seeing as I am _Minerva's_ favorite."

Sebastian's frown deepened and I noticed his shoulders stiffen in response to my comment. I turned my face away from his offended look, afraid I would burst out laughing otherwise, my chest swelling with mischievous pride. There was usually not any reason for Sebastian and I to be at odds with each other, however, it seemed the matter of felines was the exception.

One day, about a week after Minerva had been released back to her outdoor life, he had noticed I had been unusually withdrawn due to the series of nightmares that continued to plague me, stirred by the recent events and the quickly approaching second anniversary of Italy, and had offered to take me to see her when I had a moment to take a break. I took up his offer with no question, as I was eager to see my feline friend once again. As soon as I had caught sight of her emerald orbs, my face had lit with excitement, unable to contain my joy as I sprinted to her. I cheered her name happily as she danced around my feet, chirping and meowing with excitement of her own, refusing to be silenced until I scooped her up in my arms and buried my face in her thick, soft fur. The sound of her throaty purrs rumbled in my ears as she rubbed her head against my cheek. That was when I had turned about to thank Sebastian for bringing me to her, but when I saw the look upon his face, my voice was caught in my throat. In the bright light of the winter's day, his eyes sparkled with something akin to wonder as he stared at the two of us like he was witnessing the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, though, beneath the wonder, betrayal shone through as well. Apparently she had never come to him in such an enthusiastic manner before. I had tried to get her to go to Sebastian to pay him some attention, but she would have none of it. Instead she acted as if he was not there and that I was the only one her beautiful eyes could see. That had been the first and the last time we went to visit her together.

At first I had felt a twinge of guilt at her clear favoritism, seeing how it had wounded Sebastian so. However, it had been over a month since that had taken place and the fact that he was still offended was cause for amusement more than anything. For as much as he valued keeping up appearances, he apparently could not contain himself when it came to this matter, acting as if he had been jilted by a lover, not a pretty feline.

" _Lady Lilith_ cares for me just fine," he pouted with a tone that was not becoming of a man his age as I began to unroll my sleeves. The fact had he emphasized _his_ name for her was not lost on me as well.

"Oh, come off it," I chided, my brows furrowing with concentration as I struggled to redo the buttons of my sleeves, "I only tease you about it because you are so touchy about it."

Sebastian's frown had disappeared at this point, his face a mask of disinterested displeasure as he watched me struggling to secure my sleeves. Pushing himself up from where he had been reclining on the countertop, he came over to me and, wordlessly brushing my hands aside, began to do the buttons himself.

"Perhaps," he teased in return, "but what I do not know is the value of someone's opinion when they cannot button their own sleeves. How do you get yourself dressed every morning?"

He shot me a challenging glance, a mocking grin plastered on his face as he finished on my right sleeve and moved his attention to the left one, as if daring me to say more. **Fine.** I thought, squaring my jaw. **If this was how he wanted to handle things, then so be it.**

"Firstly, my uniform does not conveniently require cuff links as yours does. And secondly, I may struggle to get those buttons done, but at least I am not pining after a cat."

I smothered the smirk of satisfaction that tugged at the corners of my mouth when I saw him freeze as he had begun to pull away, now having finished with my sleeves. He offered no reply at first, but instead righted himself and smoothed his tailcoat, giving the bottom a swift tug.

When he did speak again, it was just to curtly say, "Change your apron now, quickly. We should not keep the young master waiting any longer than we must."

Taking his sudden change of subject as a sign of victory, I flashed him an obedient smile before stepping briefly into the laundry to retrieve a clean apron. I doubted this little spat was over and I was convinced that I would bear the consequences of making such a pointed blow at his ego sooner or later. However, I thought as I re-entered the scullery, finishing tying my apron behind me, it was quite gratifying to give him a taste of his own medicine, since he often seemed to be more than willing to send such pointed comments flying, almost as if it were sport to him. I did not typically take offense to these jabs, so long as they did not seem to be malicious in intent. In fact, at times, they could be rather comical, unlike his puns, which had worn out their novelty with me rather quickly.

As soon as he deemed me ready, Sebastian turned on his heel and wordlessly exited the scullery and made his way to the servant's stairs.

"Does his lordship's summons have anything to do with the Double Charles' visit this morning?" I asked, having to jog up the stairs to match his long strides.

"Yes," he replied, pushing the door open before stepping out into the hallway. Glancing down at me as I joined him by his side, he added, "Though I will allow my lord the honor of explaining."

If we had not been so close to the game room, I would have rolled my eyes and pressed the issue of his dramatic vagueness, but seeing as I was not afforded that luxury, I opted to remain silent and followed behind him as he entered. Ciel sat reclined with his legs crossed in one of the green velvet winged back chairs that sat positioned around a gaming table, on which sat a ready chess board. The way his mouth dipped in displeasure before he crossed his arms over his petite chest showed that he was none too pleased at our arrival.

"Where have you been?" he barked, his eyes narrowing as he looked towards Sebastian.

"I found that Sarah was in need of some cleaning up before she came to see you, my lord. My apologies for the delay."

Ciel said nothing in reply, choosing to move his scrutinizing gaze over to me instead, to which I curtsied.

"I am sorry to have kept you waiting, your lordship."

Ciel scoffed at my words, rolling his eyes as he returned his gaze to the chessboard before him.

"Enough with the pleasantries. Come, sit."

I hesitated at his command, watching with uncertainty as he gestured to the matching wingback chair that sat opposite of him.

"My lord?" I asked, taking a cautious step forward.

He sighed impatiently once more, before turning towards me, his tone patronizing as he said, "You are making me wait again. Come and sit. I have much to discuss with you and I would like to be doing _something_ enjoyable while I do."

I immediately obeyed, not wanting to provoke his impatience any further, and sat, waiting for him to make his move. We sat in an uncomfortable silence for a couple of minutes, though time slowed to a painful crawl as I watched him gaze down at the chessboard with intense interest. I dared to look away from the child earl for a brief second, my gaze flitting over to Sebastian who stood by the left wing of his master's chair, trying to see if he could give any indication as to what Ciel's intentions were. He shrugged his shoulders slightly at my questioning gaze, but offered no other hints of an explanation. My attention quickly returned to Ciel as he reached forward, making his first move.

"I am sure you noticed the Double Charles came to visit this morning," he began, leaning to the side of the chair, resting his elbow on the soft, velvety arm. Though his body reclined in a position of ease, I noted the subtle challenging look in his gaze as he awaited my countermove.

I nodded affirmatively to his statement, but offered no other response other than to return with a play of my own.

"They came with another mission from Her Majesty," he continued, his gaze flicking up to me as he took another one of my pawns, "Apparently the prolonged absence of a Silencer in the Underworld has continued to provoke unease among the darker players."

"So what is the objective this time?" I asked, swiping away one of his bishops, a bold move that seemed to catch him by surprise, if the slight widening of his visible eye was any indication.

"Baron Harry Amesworth."

The name sent a shiver of unease down my back. I had hoped I would never have to see that snake of a man again.

"You are familiar with him?"

Ciel paused, eyeing me with curiosity as he studied my reaction, my knight momentarily forgotten in his hand.

"Unfortunately, yes," I replied, casting my gaze downward, finding it much easier to study the chessboard rather than look at the earl and butler duo as I continued, "He is the most formidable drug lord in the area, even more so than Lau. He controls all of the traffic coming from the Western, Southern, and Northern regions of the world and even has a growing foothold in the East, despite what Lau likes to report. I had the misfortune of running in with him during a mission my father and I were working last year. He happened to be closely connected with the target we had been given and he and his men got drawn into the crossfire when we finally made our move. It was a grave oversight made by my father. Lord Amesworth is a dangerous man. If I am entirely honest, I was hoping to avoid him if at all possible."

After waiting an unnecessary amount of time, I finally made my move, much to Ciel's relief as he seemed eager to execute his next move.

"Oh?" he prodded and I grimaced as he took my other knight, which I had negligently left unprotected, "I take it you have a reason for such a strong aversion towards him?"

"Yes, the six inch long scar along my right side he left me with is a reminder that he is not the sort of man to be trifled with."

At this confession, Sebastian huffed disapprovingly and, as I glanced in his direction, I noticed his face reflected the same displeasure.

"Then I suppose we are fortunate that the Queen only wishes us to acquire some documents from him rather than eliminate him," Ciel commented sarcastically, though I caught a hint of bitterness in his reply.

"Documents?"

"Lord Amesworth's activities have reached the point that she cannot turn a blind eye to them any longer. As he encroaches on Lau's territory, her Asian relations continue to waver. Her Highness believes Lord Amesworth is in possession of some letters of communication which provide enough incriminating evidence of his illegal activity. It is our task to retrieve those documents and set in motion his arrest and subsequent execution."

I frowned at this information, along with the state of this game, as neither of them seemed to be working in my favor at the moment. However, as I studied the board more closely, a plan materialized in my mind. It would be risky, but I had to try it if I wanted to win. I knew it was in good manners to allow the master of the house to win, but my lord was not a conventional master, nor I a typical servant. Plus, I had a suspicious feeling that Ciel had grown used to winning…it would be satisfying to knock him down a few inches.

"You said 'our task'," I prodded questioningly as I moved my bishop out of the way, leaving my king open and vulnerable.

"Yes," Sebastian answered, joining the conversation, "Her Majesty was so impressed with the work you did with our last mission that she would like you to assist with this one as well. She has specifically requested that my lord involve you."

That was just my luck. The Queen had recognized my skill, so now she was sending me to help steal from a man who had almost killed me…

My less than enthusiastic reaction must have been apparent, as Sebastian quickly added, "My lord has tasked me with the actual retrieval of the documents. He will serve as a decoy of sorts for the operation, coming to visit Lord Amesworth under the pretense of a social call. Our intent is that you will act as our sniper, only interfering should it appear that Lord Amesworth will make an attempt on the young master's life."

"That sounds reasonable," I agreed, my shoulders relaxing with relief at this new information, glad to not be as involved as I had initially feared.

I suppressed the smirk of satisfaction that itched my lips as I watched Ciel take my bait. He was an impressive strategist, but he was still a child…a child who wanted victory so desperately that he allowed himself to be blind to the traps about him.

I quickly returned his move, intending to draw him in further, before I glanced up at Sebastian, who was now watching this game with interest.

"I am assuming you have some details on his home if you are so confident in our roles."

"Correct," Sebastian confirmed, producing a thick piece of parchment from the inner pocket of his tailcoat. As he unfolded the paper, he placed it on the small side table that sat to my right, the paper crinkling as he smoothed it out with his long, slender, gloved hands. The paper was a detailed sketch of the interior rooms of Lord Amesworth's estate.

"When we arrive, Lord Amesworth will greet my lord and suggest that they both take tea. My lord will suggest that they take it in his study, which is here," he continued, his fingers tracing the path they would take, "I will depart to the servant's level to the kitchens to assist the resident butler in making said tea. I will offer to take the tea to the lords, using the time that will afford me to search for the documents."

He paused, his finger pointing to the outermost western wall of the house.

"You will be positioned on the roof of the house adjacent to Lord Amesworth's residence. The western side of the house is covered with windows, so it will give you a clear view of what is transpiring in the hallway and the study. But, as I stated before, you will only need to get involved should the young lord's life be in danger."

I nodded slowly, looking up at Sebastian, his gaze intensely capturing mine as his eyes searched mine for any sign of hesitancy.

"When will this take place?" I asked, returning his gaze unwaveringly, though the subtle warmth that spread to my cheeks as my eyes momentarily flitted to his lips reminded me that I was not totally unaffected by his stare.

"In a week," Ciel answered, drawing both Sebastian and I's attention to him, where he and the game sat neglected, "That is my hope, at least. As soon as the Double Charles left, I wrote a brief letter to Lord Amesworth stating that I was planning on visiting my townhouse in London by the end of this week and requested an audience with him to discuss a philanthropic expansion involving the local orphanages. I gave him the excuse that the library at the townhouse was going to be undergoing some remodeling as an excuse for not being able to host him."

"Well planned, my lord," I concurred, moving one of the pawn's I had left over to take his only remaining bishop.

"Yes," he purred, a smirk of victory tugging at the corner of his mouth, "Unfortunately your chess game was not as well planned."

He paused dramatically before he sat his queen down, adding triumphantly, "Check."

I relished in his ignorant pride as he reclined in his chair, crossing his arms, his whole demeanor oozing with smugness as he studied my reaction.

"I am afraid that, for once, I cannot agree with your conclusion, my lord," I replied smoothly, allowing my smirk to show as Ciel's brow furrowed in confusion at my words, my bishop moving silently across the board before I added with finality, "Check mate."

"What?!" Ciel exclaimed, bolting up in his seat in surprise, his eyes frantically searching the board.

"Hmmm," Sebastian hummed as he leaned over, as curious hand resting on his chin as he examined for himself. Ciel's mouth had parted somewhat as he stared at the board in disbelief. Even though the butler's expression was a mask of indifference, I did not miss the wicked glint of approval that shone in his eyes as he righted himself, adding, "I am afraid she is correct, my lord. It appears you have been bested."

The swell of pride I had felt at Sebastian's announcement of my victory all but died with me at the scathing look Ciel cast towards me. Perhaps it was in my best interest to let him win.

"Come now, my lord. You have gotten so accustomed to success in every aspect of your life, perhaps it is healthy to have a reminder of the sting of defeat." Sebastian chided, clearly delighting in his master's displeasure, so much so that he returned Ciel's scowl towards him with an eerily pleasant smile, even though the look Ciel has cast him could not be described as anything less than murderous.

For a few more moments, the two gazed intensely at each other as if a wordless, private conversation was taking place between the two, the tension in the air building with each passing second. As the silence continued, I began to rub the material of my skirt between my fingers. I had never been for one for social conflict. I was much better at diffusing situations with my guns rather than my words and the tension between the two had reached the point that I was about to excuse myself from the room. However, before I could, Ciel abruptly turned back to me, his face having oddly returned to his normal disenchanted mask.

"Never mind," his dismissed with a wave of his hand, "I had one other item which I wanted to discuss with you before you return to your duties."

My heart began to pound with nervous anticipation as I waited for him to continue, something in the scrutinizing way he studied me filling me with dread.

"I know I am not the first one who will have tried breaching this subject with you, so I will attempt to be as delicate as possible. However, new information has arisen in the aftermath of Lord Carson's death."

My brows furrowed, confused as to what he could be alluding to.

"Lord Carson?"

There was a loud thump that came from down the hallway, causing all three of our heads to snap towards the direction of the door. Without needing direction, Sebastian positioned himself in front of the both of us as I moved from the chair to crouch in front of Ciel to shield his body, my skirts lifted as my hands came to grip the cold handles of the guns that were holstered on my thighs.

"Elizabeth Midford! Slow down this instant!" Lady Midford's reproving voice echoed down the hall.

My blood froze with another sense of dread as their steps drew closer. This would be the first time I would see the Midford's since Ciel and I's engagement had been severed. Though, the comments I had heard in passing at the social gatherings I had to attend since then conveyed perfectly the level of disdain the family felt towards me, which had only intensified once the rumors surrounding Italy had reached the nobles. I had never been told directly, but I had come to suspect that both Ciel and Sebastian had been trying to postpone this meeting, possibly avoid it altogether, for fear of causing conflict between the two families. Admittedly I was as hesitant about seeing them again as well. Usually there was some forewarning that had been given with Lady Elizabeth's visits and measures had been able to be taken to ensure our paths would not cross. However, she was also prone to wanting to surprise her fiancé, which had tested our creativity. One time when she had spontaneously appeared at the manor, Sebastian had thrust me into a broom closet where I had to hide for two hours before he could ensure he could sneak me to the servant's hall without being detected.

Before I could determine what I should do, I felt Sebastian's strong grip on my upper arm, pulling me to my feet as he hurriedly whispered, "We need to get you out of here."

However, our efforts to get me to the cupboard in time proved to be for naught. All three of us froze as the doorknob twisted with an ominous click.

My heart sank within me as I watched all of the love fueled elation drain from the young girl's lovely face as her gaze rested on me, her bright visage immediately darkening and twisting with disgust.

"What is _she_ doing here?"

I had known that this was not going to be pleasant, but the daggers of disdain and burning hatred that were cast towards me by the eyes who had once looked at me in wonder and adoration cut me deeper that I could have imagined. The scornful gaze from Lady Midford upon her entering the room stung as well. She and I had never completely seen eye to eye, but at one point she had at least thought I was a worthy match of the future Earl Phantomhive. However, all of her former respect was gone, replaced by a disgust that showed she thought I was worth less than the gravel of the stone drive outside.

Sebastian released his hold on me, us both turning to face the noblewomen with a respective bow and curtsy. However, as we righted ourselves, I kept my gaze downcast, unable to meet the venom of their gazes.

"My dear Lizzy," Ciel began, rising to his feet as soon as he had recovered from the sudden entry, "What a pleasant surprise."

I knew he was saying such things to diffuse the current situation, but their surprise visit was anything but pleasant.

"I always had my doubts of your selection of such a lecherous butler," Lady Midford's voice answered, her tone harsh and commanding as she continued, "but to see that you employ a woman of such ill-repute, it's utterly disgraceful."

My hands clenched where I had them clasped in front of me as her pointed words struck a chord within me.

Her verbal assault was not over, either, as she continued without allowing Ciel a moment to respond, "When I had heard the rumor that you had taken her in after the attack on Wakefield Hall, I had been shocked. But when it had been reported that you had not just sheltered her, but had employed her as a maid, I was utterly dumbfounded. I was able to try to deny such claims as long as I did not see evidence of it. However, now that I have witnessed it for myself, I cannot convey how utterly disappointed I am in you."

"Aunt Francis…-," Ciel tried to begin, but was cut off by Elizabeth's wounded voice.

"Ciel…how…how could you do this to me?"

My heart seized at the pain that was evident in her voice, shocked at how just my presence being around Ciel was cause of offense for her. I thought I had hardened my heart against such reactions some time ago, but the past three months I had spent under the Phantomhive roof had softened me. Every welcoming smile, every hug or nudge of affection, every conversation I had been included in had slowly worked away at the walls I had built around myself. Over time I had come to realize that Sebastian, Bard, Finny, Mey-Rin, and Tanaka loved me for who I was, no matter what society said about me. Rumors and propriety meant nothing to them. Since those five had been the major part of my company since I arrived at the Phantomhive estate, my memory of what the rest of society thought of me faded into the darker recesses of my mind. I had been so eager for the love they offered that I had allowed myself to forget just how much I was despised by polite society.

"Lizzy…-," Ciel began, but his voice faltered as he tried to find words he could speak in his defense.

I dared to glance up, but I was unprepared for the scene before me. Lizzy still stood in the entrance of the room, hot tears of fury streaming down her face as she gripped her homemade Valentine for Ciel in her clenched fists. Lady Midford stood behind her, her stoic gaze voicing all of her indignant judgement and condemnation of this moment. Poor Ciel stood silent, his mouth opening and closing several times, for once at a loss for what to say.

"I cannot understand why you thought it would be acceptable to employ such a disgraceful woman in the service of your household. Surely you know what she is guilty of," Lady Midford paused, covering Elizabeth's ears as she continued, her venomous gaze turning towards me, piercing a fresh wound in my heart, "Wantonly seducing not only a married Lord, but also his son. This woman's place is not among the servants of a noble family, but rather in the slums of the East End with the rest of her kind…the prostitutes."

Against my will, I visibly recoiled at her words, my gaze returning to the floor once more as the barbs of her words struck my heart and squeezed it painfully. My eyes pricked with tears, wishing that Ciel would say some word that would dismiss me so I could escape this scathing ridicule.

"If you have any pride in your reputation, you would give her notice immediately and rid your hands of her." Lady Midford finished with a final huff, signifying she had said her peace.

My jaw clenched as I held back all the things that I wanted to say. I wanted to tell her that the rumors were a lie, that I was not a slut, that I had saved Ciel's life and had almost lost mine in the protection of the estate. Had I still been Marchioness of Wakefield, I would have withstood her to her face, but I was merely Sarah Wakefield now and my words meant nothing against the consensus of society. It was not my place to say such things.

"I will not do anything of the kind."

My gaze snapped up to where Ciel stood, his demeanor determined as he finally found his voice, his gaze unwavering as he returned the utterly shocked looks from the ladies standing before him. A couple of tears escaped my eyes, not able to believe what my ears had just heard. Had Ciel just opposed Lady Midford on my behalf?

Apparently she was unable to believe it as well, as a moment later the lady managed to sputter out an unsure, "Pardon me?"

"I said I will not do anything of the kind, Aunt Francis," he firmly restated and, gesturing towards the available chairs in the room, added, "And if you would care to stay for some tea, I would be more than happy to explain why."

My heart leapt within my chest with gratitude at his words, though I was able to maintain a demeanor of composure and awaited my orders from my master, rather than rushing and scooping him up in a thankful hug.

Lady Midford and Elizabeth cast Ciel looks of uncertainty, but after a few more moments they hesitantly finished entering the room and found their way to the available seats.

"Sebastian, please see to the tea," Ciel commanded as he returned to his seat.

"Yes, my lord," Sebastian said with a slight bow before exiting the room.

"Sarah," he continued, his cerulean gaze capturing mine with the authority of someone twice his age, "you may return to your duties. I will ensure you are updated with the necessary information as it becomes available."

I smiled slightly before curtseying, my voice quiet and submissive as I said, "Yes, my lord."

/

"So how is this supposed to work?" I asked, as I flexed my fingers to coax the leather of the fingerless gloves into place on my hands.

Instead of working more on hand to hand combat, Sebastian had informed me that with our next mission, hopefully, taking place in a week or so, that he felt it was time to train me on some gear he thought would prove helpful. While Sebastian was busy looking for the documents the Queen desired, I would have the responsibility of ensuring his lordship's safety. He assumed, as had I, that there might be a good chance that I would not be able to do so with my skills as a sniper alone. And, seeing as I would be positioned on the rooftop of the closest adjacent building, the quickest way to get assist Ciel should I need to was not by land, but rather by air.

The device with which I was currently being fitted was a prototype that had been developed by Smith-Enfield in order to provide greater mobility to Her Majesty's troops when they were engaging in smaller scale reconnaissance missions. However, it looked more like something out of a Jules Verne novel than something for practical use. The curious ensemble consisted of two small canisters of pressurized gas that were worn about the waist, secured there by a sturdy leather belt. Coming from each of the darkly painted canisters came tubes in which a tightly woven metal rope of sorts were encased. The tubes were loosely held in place by other belts that wrapped around my torso and my arms as the lines followed the natural curvature of my body to trace the inner sides of my arms. At my wrist, attached to the fingerless gloves, were metal clasps which held in place, one on each wrist, a dangerously sharp barb of sorts. All of this was further supported by two belts that crossed over both my front and back in an X shaped pattern, attaching to the belt about my waist. All in all it was a rather tricky ensemble to get into and I was glad to have Sebastian's assistance in doing so.

"It is fairly straightforward in execution once you have the gear on," he answered absentmindedly, his attention devoted to securing the belts properly.

I grunted in discomfort as he gave one of the belts a forceful tug, pulling it tighter to fasten it one slot smaller than he had originally secured it, the skin underneath getting pinched through the thin cotton fabric of the shirt I was wearing.

"My apologies," Sebastian said, his gaze momentarily flitting to mine before returning to his work, "But for safe use, the straps must be worn as tightly to your frame as possible."

I cast him a scathing look when he was not looking at me, knowing well enough that he could have been gentler with me had he wanted to be. More than likely this was his way of punishing me for my cutting remark I had given him earlier. On my way down to the servant's hall, Sebastian had passed by me with the tea for Ciel and the two Ladies Midford, pausing momentarily to inform me that it had come to his attention that I had missed four pairs of shoes which needed polishing (he had been so kind as to at least place them with the others in the servant's hall) and that he had noticed an undesirable chill starting to creep into the manor, proceeding then to inform me which fires he wished to be built and which ones to be stoked. All of this added to my already tight schedule and offered no time to process what had taken place but a few minutes ago. As much as I hated to admit it, the encounter with the Ladies Midford had left every nerve in my heart raw and exposed, causing me to swing on an unstable pendulum of emotion which ranged from wanting to break down into a sobbing heap to having the urge to send my fist crashing through one of the mansion's plaster walls. I did everything in my power to put Lady Midford's cruel words from my mind, however, the harder I tried, the deeper her words seemed to penetrate into my mind, soon becoming aggravating and festering. Sebastian's conduct since then had not helped, either. The rest of the morning and early afternoon before my training had allowed Sebastian to fit in one too many correcting remarks, which had pushed me a little farther than I had been willing to go. My resolve had weakened and I snapped at him, cutting him with my own shooting remark. To my relief, he had not punished me on the spot as he usually preferred punishment for such insubordination to be swift, to the point, and painful. Though, as the hours passed, his inaction had been cause for concern, a concern that was well founded, given how bruised I was sure to be after this session.

"This should fit more comfortably when you are wearing the suit Ms. Hopkins is tailoring for you," he added as he finished tightening the last strap around my forearm.

"A suit?"

"Yes, since Her Majesty seems to be keen on you at least joining my lord in some of his investigations, we deemed it prudent that you have a suit for such occasions, seeing as you do not currently have any suitable clothes for the task," Sebastian paused, checking all the connections between the tubes and canisters, "Ms. Hopkins assured me that with the sketches you provided, recent measurements, her knowledge of your previous suits, and my input, that she would be able to design a suit which would be the envy of any assassin or mercenary."

"Oh dear," I groaned, earning a chuckle from the butler, "I do hope she doesn't do anything too extravagant. Subtly is what a proper Silencer's suit requires…and subtlety and Nina do not often coincide."

"Indeed."

He gave each strap a firm jerk to make sure they were tightened to his satisfaction, the belts already beginning to chafe the skin underneath. My body trembled with violent shivers, my breath puffing in angry billows from my mouth. I understood that space was needed for this training, but he could have at least allowed me to wear a bloody coat! I scowled at him as he expertly slipped on a similar ensemble, vowing to myself that if I contracted pneumonia from this and died that I would spend eternity haunting him. It would be satisfying, at least, even though it would be a petty revenge.

"Now," Sebastian began, joining me by my side, seemingly unaffected by the cold as he gestured his arms out in front of him so I could study his movements.

"Wait," I halted, before coming round to his front. I smiled innocently up at him as his brow quirked in confusion, "I should ensure your belts are adequately tightened."

I could tell by the scowl that appeared on his face that he wanted to object, however, I began testing the straps before he could object. As I ran my fingers underneath the belts to gauge their tautness, I could feel the bumps and curves of his muscular frame that was hidden beneath his clothing. A hunger began to build within me as my hands slowly traced the crossing belts from his chest to his hips, remembering the few times I had seen him without his shirt on. A faint blush came to my cheeks as I thought how I would enjoy seeing him so exposed again. Sebastian gave a soft chuckle as my hands stopped moving, my fingers still underneath the strap that crosses horizontally across the broadest portion of his chest.

"Is everything alright?" he asked, his tone smooth and alluring.

I gave the belt a firm tug, feeling it give a little more than the others had. I was sure that it was _technically_ tight enough, however, I did not want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he had caught me in this midst of a desirous thought of him, nor did I want to be the only one who was uncomfortable at the moment.

"Not quite," I replied with just as much smoothness, daring myself to look challengingly up at him, a smirk tugging at the corner of my mouth before giving a forceful tug of the belt, pulling it one slot tighter. He grunted, in what I hoped was discomfort, but the smirk that came to his face that mirrored mine from a moment ago indicated that he might have actually enjoyed the rebellious force I was using on him.

My heart thudded in my chest, desire of my own leaping to life within me. I quickly returned to my previous position before I could give away what the silent exchange had stirred within me.

Clearing my throat, I teased, attempting to seem as unfazed as possible, "Now you were saying?"

"Ah, yes," Sebastian began again, striking the position he had been previously been standing in, "As I was saying, though the belts are fairly complicated to assemble properly, the use of the device is actually rather straightforward. First, you will disengage the safety by pressing the button on your wrist," he paused, demonstrating what to do.

I followed suit, pushing in on the small cut out of a circle that sat in the middle of the metal bracket that secured around my right wrist like a snug fitting bracelet until I heard a soft, metallic click.

"Good. Now, you will aim at the object which you would like to use as an anchor or sorts…that tree, for instance," he instructed, pointing to a tree which was about eight meters away.

I obeyed his instruction, taking aim at the large branch of the tree to which he was pointing, though it was difficult to maintain my accuracy since I was trembling from the cold.

"Here," Sebastian's voice said from behind me.

A moment later I felt something firm press against the length of my back, heat instantly enveloping me as he pressed his torso against my back. With a steadying hand, he gently took my right wrist in his hand, cautiously turning it slightly so that my palm was facing upward. I blushed as my body relaxed against his, all tension and trembling leaving as I melded the shape of my body to his without a second thought.

"Now, to release the anchor, you will pull the short lever at the bottom of the bracket. Once released, the anchor head will expand, which will allow the long blades to penetrate into the surface you desire to anchor it in."

The cold metal of the lever was smooth underneath my fingertips as I reached to pull it, but was quickly replaced with warmth as Sebastian's hand enveloped mine to halt my progress. I struggled to maintain my attention, which was a feat of its own measure, with how closely his body pressed against mine. So close that my back vibrated with the reverberations of his voice as he continued to speak, my body relaxing underneath his touch as the alluring mixture of his scent wafted around me in the breezeless air.

"Sarah," Sebastian called, knowing from his tone that I had not responded quickly enough to something he had said.

"I am sorry. Could you repeat that?" I replied, trying to maintain as nonchalant an air as possible.

His chest rumbled as he chuckled at my response, his tone teasing as he said, "A bit distracted, are we?"

I did not dare to look back at him, opting instead to glare daggers at his hand, which still remained wrapped around mine. I had no patience for his antics at the moment. I was freezing and wanted to finish the training so I could return to where it was warm.

"Just get on with it," I grumbled, eliciting another chuckle from him.

"As I was saying," he began again, positioning my arm properly so I was accurately aiming once more, "there are a few key things to remember when using this gear. One is that, since what you will be using is the prototype, the canisters contain only enough gas to allow for one strike each, so you will want to make those moves count. Also, the chord will not release on it's own. Once you have reached your destination, you will need to trigger the lever again and give a sharp tug. Otherwise you risk dislocating your arm or worse."

I nodded in understanding. Once he was sure I had a firm grasp of the concept, Sebastian returned to stand by my side, causing me to inwardly pout as the bitter cold of the air sliced through me with the loss of his body heat.

Striking a pose, he extended his arm to take aim, adding "Allow me to demonstrate."

A moment later, the metal click of the safety being released made my ears perk, quickly followed by the hiss of gas and whirring of the metal chord as the barb was released. In a flash, Sebastian was launched into the air, soaring quickly in the direction of the tree. I opened my mouth to warn him to watch out as he careened towards the thick truck, but, with the other feats I had witnessed him achieve without the assistance of aerial maneuvering gear, I should have known he would be more than able to handle himself. At the last moment, he released the chord, flying several meters past the tree, rolling gracefully a couple of times before righting himself to a kneeling position. He stood, dusting off his pants, unable to hide the smug smile that curved his lips.

"See? Easy enough."

I waited until he returned to my side, my insides twisting with nervous anticipation as I squared my legs, taking the same pose Sebastian had taken a moment ago.

"Relax," he purred in my ear, my back stiffening as he placed his hands on my shoulders, which was causing me to do anything but relax.

I shook my head, taking a deep breath as I closed my eyes, pushing aside the natural stirrings of my body and bringing my mind to focus. As I slowly exhaled, I opened my eyes, my brows furrowing in concentration as I quickly checked my aim, pulling the lever.

The rushing sound of the wind howled in my ears as I was hurled forward. My stomach tensed as a sinking feeling weighed heavily in my stomach. I was moving too quickly. I could not register how I was moving or when I should release. All I knew was that in a matter of seconds, I had arrived at the tree.

Over the wind, I thought I heard Sebastian call out to me, but I could not make out what he was saying. However, I assumed he was trying to alert me to the fact that I needed to release the chord. I pulled the lever as Sebastian had instructed, preparing to tug the chord loose, but I was too late in my timing. I swung out as gravity forced me to complete the arc of my movement, the strain on the chord enough to pull it loose. I cried out, white momentarily flashing across my vision as my shoulder popped when my arm jerked from the resistance before the chord came loose.

"Sarah!" Sebastian exclaimed with worry as I came crashing to the hard, unforgiving winter ground.

I clutched my arm, pain radiating from all over my body, my mouth opened in a silent cry since the air hand been knocked from my lungs. Out of the corner of my vision, Sebastian knelt beside me and leaned over me. His brows knitted together with both concern and vexation, though mainly vexation, as he assessed the damage I had sustained.

"Is anything broken?"

Violent coughs racked my body as I gasped for air, my lungs aching as I was finally able to regain my breath.

"I don't…think so," I wheezed, casting him an apologetic look as I added, wincing, "Though…I cannot move my right arm."

His frown deepened as his attention turned to my right shoulder, causing me to hiss through my clenched teeth as he gingerly fingered the throbbing joint.

"It appears to be dislocated," he murmured, before gripping my shoulder and bicep, adding a quick, "Brace yourself."

Another sharp cry of pain escaped my lips as, without allowing me time to brace myself, he popped my arm back into joint.

"Can you move your arm now?"

I clenched and unclenched my right hand before cautiously rotating my arm.

"Yes," I answered in a strained whisper, "Though it is still quite painful."

"Well, pain can be worked through," Sebastian murmured sternly before pulling me to my feet, "I want you to try again."

"What?" I asked in protest, wobbling as I tried to steady myself from the sudden movement. I held out my arms as the world swayed around me, causing me to blink rapidly as I tried to halt the unnatural movements, adding, "You cannot be serious."

To my relief, the world slowly began to right itself, though, between the aching of my body and how I trembled from the cold, I was still not fit to give it another go. Contrary to my conclusion, Sebastian set to checking that all the belts and connections were secure.

"I am entirely serious. You have a week to master this skill to the point that you can rescue the young master should he find he is in peril, as he usually manages to do. I am afraid you have no choice but to go again."

"But I almost just killed myself," I pressed further, choosing to stare straight ahead as he checked the belt about my waist.

Sebastian gave no indication as to whether or not he gave my words any consideration, but rather he simply straightened his waistcoat and came to stand by me as he had before.

"All the more incentive to have you try now when the consequences are fresh in your mind."

I shot him a scathing glare at his insensitive comment. Admittedly, I should have expected no different from him, gathering what I had already endured while under his training. I squared my legs and shoulders once more, ignoring the trembling of my limbs which shook from a combination of response to the cold and to my body's natural instinct towards self-preservation. My head was ringing with a barrage of warnings, every muscle in my body tense, telling me to stop. But I could not do that.

"If I die, I shan't allow you to forget it," I warned pointedly, wiggling my fingers, which were chapped and stiff from the cold.

Sebastian chuckled once more at my empty threat, "You would not be the first one to threaten such things. But, as I tell my young lord, there is no cause for fear," he paused, and I turned my attention towards him, the dark look on his face stirring a sense of unease within me as he added, "For, rest assured, I will not let you die."

My lips dipped along with my brows in a dissatisfied frown, releasing the safety with an ominous click.

"Well, that is comforting," I mumbled sarcastically under my breath a moment before I pulled the lever and was sent flying through the air once more.

We continued like this exercise for another twenty minutes or so, taking another five attempts, out of which I managed to be successful three times. This last attempt was not one of those times.

I winced as the hard ground pressed against my bruised cheek, the cuts on the soft skin of my face stinging as I lay face down. The bitter cold from the ground soothed my aching body, though at the same time it was as if it were burning the chapped, exposed skin of my hands, face, and neck, the normally pale flesh an angry red. I ran my tongue over my lips, which had become dry and sore from being in this unforgiving weather for so long. As I closed my eyes in an unsuccessful attempt to ease some of the pain that radiated through my body, I heard the crunching sounds of the frozen ground as Sebastian's footsteps approached me. I knew he was coming to pick me up…to force me to try again…but this was it. Every bit of my body hurt, what was not cut or bruised by my falls was numb, chapped, and stiff from the cold. I had reached my limit and I would not allow me to push me any further.

Silence fell as Sebastian's footsteps halted, but I refused to open my eyes. In my mind's eye I could already see the butler standing above me, hands on his hips, his lips dipped slightly in frustration. My ears perked as a soft sigh confirmed my assumption.

"Come now, just a few more tries. I believe you have almost mastered the technique."

"No," I firmly objected, still refusing to open my eyes.

He gave no response save to heave a an exasperated sigh. I groaned in defeat as a moment later my torso acutely ached as Sebastian grabbed hold of my belts, mercilessly pulling me to my feet. I stumbled for a few steps as I tried to steady myself, glaring at him with all the heat of the anger that flared within me.

When he realized I was not going to willingly continue my training today, his expression soured and he crossed his arms, chiding, "Don't be so stubborn."

"Don't push me so hard." I bit back, my frown mirroring his own.

His jaw tensed at my continued refusal and took an intimidating step forward, trying to get me to back down. Unfortunately for him, I would not be forced into submission so easily. Instead, I squared my shoulders and held my ground, despite his overbearing presence.

"I will push you as hard as I please," he growled, his eyes smoldering as he glared down at me, "Now, you _will_ try again."

He reached out his hands to forcibly push me into the appropriate position, but I expertly blocked his hands, shoving my hands against his chest.

"Enough, Sebastian! I will do no more today and you cannot make me!"

A cry of both surprise and pain escaped my lips as, before I realized what had happened, Sebastian had pushed me backwards against a nearby tree, his left hand grasping jaw with an uncomfortably tight hold, rendering me unable to speak, his right hand slamming against the trunk that was by my head. My heart beat wildly against my ribcage as I looked into his eyes, which swirled with rage. The icy tendrils of panic closed around my heart, for the first time since I had met him, I found that I was terrified of Sebastian and, more importantly, what he might do to me. I had seen how he disciplined the others. I had been a fool to push him this far.

"Now you will listen and you will listen well," he began, his voice a low, menacing rumble as he brought his face close enough to mine that the warm waves of his breath washed over my face as he continued, "If I have not made it clear in the past, you owe me a great debt for where you are right now. If it were not for me, you would still be in a wheelchair, or worse, murdered by those men who _I_ have protected you from. My master would not have offered you a position as a maid had _I_ not suggested it. You would not be gaining such attention by the Queen if _I_ had not agreed to train you. So, yes, I will train you as long and hard as I feel is necessary, because _you_ owe it to _me_ ," he paused, his eyes searching mine.

While he had been speaking, tears had begun to unwillingly spill from my eyes in response to the painful hold he had on my jaw and how cutting his words were, wetting his pristinely white gloves. I had come to realize the night of the ball just how possessive Sebastian had felt towards me, but I had not seen any indication that he felt it to this degree until now. So was that it…he felt he could do these things…he could demand my upmost obedience, touch me and play with my heart as he pleased, even push me to the brink of breaking me physically because he felt he owned me? My heart clenched as the piercing dagger of the truth thrust deep inside. The man who stood before me, the one who I had come to admire, who I considered a dear friend, who had, in fact, done so much for me to the point that I had started to believe he loved me and that I had begun to love in return, was no better a man than the likes of Mr. Woodley. If anything, he was worse.

He gave my cheeks a slight squeeze, snapping my attention back to the present before he continued, "It is infuriating enough that I am saddled with an insolent cur as a master and servants who could not survive if I did not constantly fix their idiotic mistakes, _do not_ give me reason to add you to my list of grievances. However, if you cannot accept my standards, then leave and do not make me waste any more of my time."

As the last venomous word passed his lips, the bridle on my anger snapped. Without thinking, I jerked my knee up to strike his groin, just as he had taught me, causing him to crumble to the ground.

"Accept your standards?!" I spat, my fists clenching with rage as I glowered down at his wheezing form, "How could I accept such absurd standards?" I paused briefly, crouching next to him as I took a fistful of his hair in my hand, pulling back so that he was forced to look at me, knowing I would not have much more time before he recovered from my blow, "If _I_ have not made it clear in the past, you, nor any other man for that matter, owns me. I am Sarah Anne Wakefield and I am a woman of my own possession and I will not be guilted or bribed into being anything other than what I am, a free woman. Now if you cannot accept that, sir, then you are no better than men like my father or the Mr. Woodley who you have come to despise so much."

With that I released my grip on his hair, allowing him to slump to the ground once more and strode away without a second glance backwards. At that moment I did not care if he was furious with me or if I had done more damage than I had intended with my blows. He deserved every ounce of emotional and physical pain I had dealt to him and as I stormed back to the mansion, the fury he had insighted within me burned even hotter.

He say that he did not want to waste his time on me? His ire was laughable! It was I, not he who had wasted their time. Every blush, every desire, every dream like precious pearls had been thrown before a man who I had begun to think would cherish the deepest parts of my mind only to find that he was a pig who was more than willing to trample over what I held most dear to obtain what he wanted from me.

I bit my lower lip as I stifled the cry of fury that built inside me, hot tears of anger stinging my eyes as I entered through the servant's door. Suddenly I wished that I hadn't just struck his groin. No, that man deserved much worse for deceiving me so. I wanted to hit, bite, and scream at him for what he had done, making him experience a taste of the pain I was enduring at the moment. Unfortunately, I had left him behind and going back was not an option. However, since I had prematurely ended the training, I still had some time to spare, which was to my advantage…I needed a release.

Ignoring the aching burning of my limbs as my body adjusted to the warmer temperature of the mansion and the deep, throbbing soreness that radiated from head to toe, I swiftly made my way to the one place where I knew that release could be achieved: the armory. My boots thudded against the wood floor as I rounded the corner, relieved to find the doors of the armory were unlocked.

Without hesitation, I burst through the doors, making a beeline towards the portion of the weaponry where the handguns were kept. I grabbed what I could carry, not really caring what I selected. I just needed to shoot something, so anything would really do. Once my hands and arms were filled to the brim of what they could carry of guns an ammunition, I stomped over to the small table that sat before the range, where the stationary targets were already assembled. I made quick work of loading each handgun, anxious to escape into the mind-numbing focus I was able to attain when I was shooting.

Taking a deep breath, I readied myself and began firing, the echoing thunder of gunfire music to my ears as the paper of the target grew more tattered with each pull of the trigger. The calm that soon swept over me was a welcome release, compared to the storm that raged within me but a moment ago. Some paint, write, or pray to relieve themselves of oppressive emotions, to cleanse themselves from that negative energy…I shoot things.

I was soon out of ammo and went to retrieve more from the supply shelf when I heard Bard's voice call our my name.

"Woah, slow it down, tiger. If you keep letting the brass fly like tha', the young master will dock it from your wages," he paused as be approached, adding in a softly concerned voice, "Sarah, what the blazes happened to you?" he asked as he came to my side, a frown of concern on his face as he lit the cigarette that had been tucked behind his ear.

I whipped about to look at him, my look incredulous as I answered, "Sebastian…Sebastian was what happened."

"Oh," Bard mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck before giving a sheepish grin, "You know it is bad luck to have a lover's quarrel on Valentine's Day."

"Enough with the 'lover's quarrel', Bard," I growled, turning my attention back towards the targets, loading only two handguns this time, " I appreciate what you were attempting to do, but there is no reason to hold out for us confessing our undying love to one another".

Without another word, I began to fire round after round, the hot tears that had been welling in my eyes finally spilling over to streak quickly down my cheeks. Bard watched in stunned silence as I obliterated the head of the target, bits of paper falling to the floor with each shot. As each shot fired, my fury ebbed less and less, my thoughts becoming clearer and more settled, allowing one thought in particular to sift towards the surface of my conscious thought, a silent vow I made to myself…no matter how badly my body might want Sebastian, he would never be my lover…my heart would never belong to him.


	18. Fantasy

**Author's Note:**

Hello, lovelies! First of all, I want to sincerely apologize for it being so long since I last updated. My quarterly busy period has been going on for the past two weeks, so that's meant long days and odd hours, which has greatly stunted my writing time. So thank you all for your patience in waiting for this chapter! Hopefully the length of this chapter helps to compensate for the wait. This is my longest chapter yet at 34 typed pages.

This is a little longer of an author's note, but I have a few things I wanted to mention before we ventured to what this chapter holds. I want to thank everyone who has followed and favorited this story (we've officially hit over 11.1k views!), and a special thank you to everyone who left reviews: **Akuma-Sama2002, alexandriasutherland98, SkittleLuvr.x3, Misia0123, fifi, and SnowKi.** Your support and private messages have kept me motivated in writing, even on days when I didn't feel particularly keen on doing it. You guys are amazing and I'm so thankful for your continued support.

Also, just an update for those of you who are curious about the Attack on Titan fanfic I have been planning…I have officially begun writing it! It will still be a few months before I start posting it because I want to have some buffer when I start posting. That being said, in order to juggle writing two long term fanfics along with the rest of my responsibilities, my updates on this story will not returning to me posting once a week. But I hope that is fully compensated by writing another story.

As a final note, I wanted to give you all the warning that this chapter has a fair bit of mature content in it. So, if that is not your cup of tea, you have my apologies, but it is to provide some character and relationship development. Now, thank you for sticking through all that. Enjoy!

 **Chapter Eighteen: Fantasy**

I groaned softly, refusing to open my eyes and rolled over, the old wood of my bed frame creaking slightly as I did so. I did not want to rise yet. I was far too tired. After a few moments, however, I resigned myself to the fact that I would not immediately drift off into slumber and twisted back to glance at the clock with the eye I had sleepily cracked open. The soft moonlight that filtered in through the curtains provided enough visibility to tell that it was only a quarter after two.

Pleasantly surprised that I had a few more hours available for rest, I rolled back over, momentarily thankful for the curtains Sebastian had sewn for me as the pristinely white cotton was thick enough to obstruct an outsider's view into my room, but sheer enough to allow some natural light into my quarters. This meant I did not have to leave the warm comfort of my bed to check the time. My thoughts halted and I let out a groan of exasperation and covered up my head with the blanket, trying to ignore the chill I could still feel on the tip of my nose from the coolness of the room. The fire in the small brick fireplace must have gone out some time ago, given the chill that had settled into my chambers. I should rise and rekindle the flame, however, I did not have the motivation to do so.

I closed my eyes once more, the first gentle tugs of sleep causing my body to relax as I began to drift off when I heard a grating sound coming from the hearth. My eyes shot open, my heart pounding in my chest as the sound continued. Someone was in the room with me. Subtly, not wanting too move too much and draw attention to myself, I slid my hand underneath my pillow, my fingers blindly searching for my gun. Another surge of panic rushed through me when I realized it was not there. I must have knocked it on the floor in my sleep.

The light footsteps of the intruder sounded as they moved about. I held my breath, realizing there was nothing to be done but to confront whoever they were, armed or unarmed. It would seem that I would be putting my training lessons with Sebastian to the test.

Before I could second guess my decision, I flung the blankets from me, revealing myself to the intruder as I leapt to my feet, my feet planted and fists held close to my chest as I planted myself to attack if necessary. My eyes widened in surprise as I looked toward the fireplace to see a healthy fire crackling pleasantly within it.

"Sebastian?" I asked, lowering my fists, my stance returning to normal, "What are you doing here?"

The butler glanced over to me from where he was crouched before the hearth, seemingly unfazed by the fact that I had been at the ready to assault him only seconds prior, before righting himself.

"I had noticed the chill coming from your room and found that your fire had expired."

My brows furrowed at his statement. That was odd. I had not heard him enter. Maybe he had done so while I had still been asleep. If that was the case, though, why had he not made his presence known before?

 **What did it matter?** I thought to myself, rubbing my temples in a circular motion to ward off the swirling, obtrusive thoughts that threatened to spiral out of control in my exhausted state.

"Is there something the matter?" Sebastian's voice called, the smooth honey of his words calling my attention back to him.

"No," I mumbled, turning away from him as he approached me, "Thank you for doing that. It saved me a trip downstairs."

I paused, straightening the blankets on my bed from where they had been thrown askew a few moments ago, before pulling them back, hoping to clearly convey that I wanted to return to my bed.

"Now if you do not mind, I would like to retire."

"Stop," his commanding voice came from behind me a second before I felt him press against my back. His hand lightly, but firmly took hold of my wrist, halting my movements. A shiver of anticipation slithered down my spine as his hot breath tickled my neck, his nose teasing the shell of my ear as he continued, his voice lower and slightly gravelly as he whispered, "I do mind. You see, that was not the only fire I was hoping to reignite tonight."

I gasped as he nipped my ear, which sounded more as a response of pleasure rather than surprise, a bolt of arousal shooting to pool in a steadily smoldering warmth between my legs.

"Sebastian," I breathed as he turned me about to face him, any hesitancy I had hoped to convey was outweighed by the need that saying his name revealed.

He said nothing in return, choosing rather to be a man of action rather than words tonight as his left hand curled around the back of my neck, pulling me towards him as his lips captured mine with fevered intensity. His lips were warm and surprisingly soft as they expertly moved against mine. My mind went blank as his right hand slowly drifted down my back before grabbing my rear and pressing my body securely against his as his mouth continued to ravish mine. Though that was not entirely needed, as upon the first kiss, my body had melded to his, my reason taken over by a much stronger, more primal need, my own hunger spurring me to answer his attention in kind. My hands greedily snaked up his chest and neck until my fingers tangled in his hair, earning a pleased groan as I pulled at his raven locks. This allowed him to release his hold on my neck, his free hand taking no time to find the generous swell of my breasts, which he began to knead in earnest.

There was a loud pop that came from the fireplace which startled me from my passion fueled abandon. Not completely, but enough for me to recognize the gravity of what I was allowing to take place. So, despite everything in my body urging me to continue in this tryst, I broke the kiss, leaning back somewhat as I untangled my fingers from his hair. Sebastian's hands went to rest on my lower back in an attempt to halt my efforts to separate from him.

I paused for a few seconds, hoping the time would help to calm the frantic hunger swirling inside. However, as I gazed up as Sebastian to see both our chests heaving as we attempted to catch our breath, his swollen lips glistening with saliva, and his russet eyes smoldering with desire, I realized it would not take much to cause my resolve to crumble.

"Sebastian," I breathed, feeling his hold on me tighten as I said his name. I put my hands on his chest, pushing against him slightly as I added, "We should stop. We cannot do this."

"Hmmm," he hummed, offering no other response as he gazed down at me, refusing to release his hold on me. If I was completely honest with myself, no matter how livid I was with him, I could not deny that I did not want him to stop.

A flash of light from the firefight flickered wickedly in his eyes as the corner of his lips tugged into one of his signature smirks. With the gentle force from his hands, he pulled me flush against his body, his raven locks tickling the sensitive flesh of my neck as he grazed his nose and lips over my skin. Where my hands had rested on his chest, they now gripped handfuls of the starched material of his shirt, wrinkling it past saving. My body stiffened with anticipation, my breath bated as he began to kiss my neck with measured intensity. He was intending to tease me and, if the weakness in my legs that was threatening to send me crumbling to the floor or the slick warmth that had pooled between my legs was any indication, his intent was more than effective.

"Stop," I gasped as his tongue found the sensitive crook between the base of my neck and shoulders, knowing as I said it that I did not mean it.

As the word passed from my lips, Sebastian froze and pulled back just enough so he could look at me. Our faces were so close, our heated breath mingled, his lips so deliciously near mine. His gaze bore into mine, seemingly awaiting some further instruction before he stopped completely. His eyes glimmered with hunger and lust, though underneath that, I recognized with surprise, was frustration.

It was that look that was my undoing. The frustration I saw in his eyes mirrored the frustration I had wrestled with since I had come to terms with my feelings towards Sebastian, at least physically and I yearned to appease it. Society demanded we act with the utmost decorum and propriety, despite our rank, despite how our masters treated us, despite how we truly felt. Quite frankly, I'd had enough.

Taking my silence as my answer, Sebastian began to pull away, his hands gripping my wrist to remove my hands from his shirt.

"Wait," I whispered in earnest, my grip on his shirt tightening as I pulled him against me, my lips brushing against his as I closed my eyes and whispered, "Don't stop."

That command was enough to remove any previous resistance on Sebastian's part. His lips captured mine with a greater heat and intensity than before, shocking me when I realized he had been holding back.

My bed frame creaked as he lay me down, breaking the kiss only long enough to climb on top of me, his lips finding mine as soon as he did so. My mind was a dizzy frenzy of passion and arousal, finding it difficult to register all the pleasure my body was experiencing as his experienced hands roamed my body, grabbing and massaging in all the right places, his mouth doing the same as his lips left mine to return to my neck, where he left a trail of hot, wet kisses.

My eyes closed, a wanton moan escaping my lips as he found the sensitive spot at the base of my neck and shoulders once more and, instead of licking it, he bit it.

"Sebastian," I mewled, my hips grinding against his, eliciting a throaty groan from him.

I shivered as his hands traveled back down my body, teasing my waist before grabbing hold of my knees, gently coaxing my legs apart so he could settle between them. A cool rush of air sent another wave of shivers over me as the skirt of my nightgown rose, baring my body from the navel down to him. My ears perked as the sound of fabric caught my attention. Propping myself up on my elbows, the loosened fabric of my nightgown slipping from their delicate balance on my shoulders, I opened my eyes just in time to watch Sebastian slip an ungloved hand underneath the sheer black silk of my panties.

My cheeks heated with embarrassment at my arousal as his attention turned to me, the mixture of firefight and moonlight catching his eyes at the right angle to make them glow with an otherworldly light. He was absolutely breathtaking, his whole visage dripping with sexuality, even though he was still clothed.

"What is it?" he teased, his fingers moving in between my legs at an agonizingly slow pace, "Have you changed your mind?"

A gasp came from my lips as he delicately ran a finger over my entrance, my hips jerking involuntarily at the sensation, my chest heaving once more as my breathing became shallow. Curse this man for making me want him so.

"I should hope not," he continued, his voice dipping to a low purr as he leaned over me once more, his hand never ceasing in its ministrations as he added, "Seeing that you are so ready for me."

"Sebas-ah!" I cried as, without warning, he inserted the finger that had been teasing me into madness a moment ago inside me.

All coherent thought left me as he began to move his finger in a rhythmic motion, his lips teasing the fevered flesh of my newly revealed shoulders before leaving a trail of bruises where he bit me. My hands ached for something to touch, to grab hold of to return my pleasure in kind. So, with one of my hands I grasped his shoulder, my fingernails digging into his through the fabric of his shirt. A low moan slipped from his swollen lips as I did so and I took note to repeat the action in the future, but for now, I had other goals in mind. With much less patience, my other hand slid between us, blindly searching for signs of his arousal. It did not take long to find the thick, long length of his erection which was still restricted by the confines of his clothing.

"Sarah!" he cried, my name ending in a sensual gasp, his hips bucking against my hand I encompassed what I could and began mimicking his motions.

No other spoken word passed between us in the minutes that followed, our communication simplified to sighs, gasps, and moans as we relished in our mutual pleasure. A loud cry escaped my lips, my hold on him forgotten, my hands instead finding purchase on the bed sheets as he inserted another finger inside. My back arched and my stomach tightened as his long digits teased a sweet spot within me, my legs trembling with each thrust. My hips rolled, instinctually moving in time with him as my pleasure continued to mount, begging for release. It was at that moment that Sebastian moved his thumb to tease an even more sensitive spot between my legs, threatening to send me crashing over the edge.

And that was when I woke up.

My eyes snapped open, my thoughts muddled as I lay there, trying to return to the grips of reality. The blankets of my bed rose and fell with the heaving of my chest, my heart thundering in my ears as I descended from the high I had experienced but a few moments ago. What a dream.

As my thoughts settled, I became acutely aware of two things: the burning heat of embarrassment that heated my face and the slickness between my legs. I covered my face with my hands as I shook my head. Since our fight a week ago I had not been speaking to Sebastian, not much at least. Our conversations were on a professional plane and only occurred when absolutely necessary. In addition, I had ceased my training with him, preferring being self taught at the moment, given what my alternatives were. If this dream had occurred a couple of weeks ago, I would have understood, but I was still cross with him. So why have this dream now? Especially one so vivid…

Another fresh wave of embarrassment washed over me as I recalled images from the dream and I sighed as the warm stirrings of arousal began to twist my insides once more. **No.** I stopped myself. I couldn't do this now. Dwelling on the dream wouldn't help anything. I would have to decide what I felt about it later. My chest deflated as I heaved another sigh, staring at the ceiling as I let my arms flop down on the bed. If I was lucky, I would be able to see to my duties without disturbance and wouldn't have to face Sebastian until the carriage ride to London. Then, once we had arrived, I hoped I would be able to visit Angelina, seeing as today was my day off.

"Oi, Mey-Rin, c'mon. You got'a give Finny and me time to get ready," Bard's impatient and groggy voice shook me from my thoughts.

 **Wait.** My thoughts halted. **If Bard and Mey-Rin were already up…**

I shot up as I looked over to the clock, the cool uneasiness of anxiety settling in my stomach as I realized it was half past five.

I swore under my breath as I tossed the blankets to the side and busied myself with rushing about to get ready for the day. In my haste, I tripped twice as I slipped into my uniform and managed to fall with an undignified squeal as I attempted to tie my boot while I was balanced on one foot. If Sebastian caught me running so far behind, he would have my hide…and I tried as hard as I could to silence the eager voice within me that whispered that the prospect of being disciplined by Sebastian held more appeal than I cared to admit.

Ten minutes later, I burst out of my chambers, startling Bard who was still waiting outside the wash room. Finny sat with his back against the wall, his mouth open slightly, a thin trail of saliva trickling from the corner of his mouth as he snored softly.

"Blimey!" Bard shouted in surprise as he jumped, composing himself slightly to add, "What are you doing, just getting up?"

"I overslept," I sighed, shooting him an apologetic look, "I know you have been waiting, but I have to finish getting ready so I can get to the fires or else Sebastian will skin me alive."

"But we've been waiting for a half an hour," he objected.

At that moment, the wash room door opened and Mey-Rin appeared in the doorway, her brows and mouth dipped in a frown as she shot Bard a scathing look that I could see even behind her abnormally large glasses.

"I'd finish faster if you wasn't yellin' at me every five minutes!" she seethed, glowering at her lover as she took a step forward.

Bard opened his mouth to offer some sort of a retort so I took the opportunity Mey-Rin unintentionally provided me and, jumping over Finny's lap, I slid behind the petite maid, shutting and locking to door as quickly as I could. I did so just in time. As I leapt over Finny, Bard let out an indignant "Hey!"

The door shook as Bard hit it.

"Sarah!" he scolded.

"Sorry," I shouted back in polite apology as I tugged down my panties, "I will only be five minutes, I promise."

True to my word, I took five minutes exactly to straighten my uniform, tidy my hair, wash my face, and brush my teeth. I would have preferred to have taken a full shower, given the state in which I found myself when I woke up, however, I did not have the liberty of time so I had to use a wetted flannel to clean up the last remaining signs of my dream as best I could. I was careful to pocket it when I had finished. I did not want to have to offer an explanation to Finny as to the state of the cloth when he brought all the soiled linens down to the scullery.

With one last glance in the mirror, I straightened my cap and tucked a few stray hairs behind my ears before I unlocked and opened the door. Bard glared at me in way of greeting.

"All yours," I quipped, flashing him a grin before making my way down the servant's stairs.

"Hey," Bard called after me, "I don't get a 'thank you' or nothin'?"

I waved my hand towards him as I continued to descend the stairs, not bothering to turn around as I replied with a quick, "Thank you."

I sprinted the remaining distance to the scullery, tripping a few times as I missed a step or two, but managed to keep myself upright. Once in the scullery, I immediately set to starting the fire to heat the water and prepared the firewood baskets to tend to the upper fireplaces. To my relief, I had neither seen nor heard any sign of Sebastian and I had begun to think that I might have managed to sneak by undetected. However, as I began to ascend the stairs, I froze as the unmistakable velvet voice of the suave butler called out to me.

"Ah, Sarah, there you are!"

Damn.

I hid my grimace, concealing my chagrin with what I hoped was a passably polite smile as I turned towards him.

"Good morning, Sebastian," I greeted as he approached me.

"I was afraid I was going to have to search for you," he teased, a toying smirk on his face as he sauntered up to me, coming to stand uncomfortably close to me. I usually would not have minded the proximity, but given the dream I had this morning, I was not prepared for such familiarity.

"I thought you were aware that, though you have the day off, you are to complete your morning duties until after breakfast."

I glanced down, my cheeks flushing with an embarrassed heat as I found I could not meet his gaze for long.

"My apologies, I accidentally overslept," I mumbled.

"That is interesting," Sebastian said in mock surprise, "You are not one for tardiness. I wonder what could have kept you in bed so long."

My eyes widened somewhat, my heart pounding in my chest as brief images from the dream flashed through my mind, the hot heat of shame radiating through me. No, there was no way he could have known.

"I-I simply overslept, is all. It will not happen again," I replied, attempting, and failing to keep my voice from wavering as I answered him.

"See that it does not," he replied curtly, a frown of disapproval darkening his features, before adding, "What needs done before you are prepared to depart? My lord desired to leave as soon as he has taken his breakfast, which will be in about two hours."

I adjusted the baskets in my hands, finding the weight uncomfortable, my voice small as I answered, "Do not worry, Sebastian, I will be ready by then. I packed in advance, so all I need to do is tend to the fires and washing."

"Very well, then. See to that quickly and return for breakfast. You need only light the minimal amount of fires today, since we will be departing soon."

"Yes, sir," I replied, my cheeks warming as the realization of the tone of my response sounded in my ears.

I shuffled my feet, casting my gaze to the stairs before me, unable to meet his gaze as I anxiously waited for some word or sign of dismissal from him to take my leave. At the moment, I did not want to be in his presence any more than I had to.

My heart jumped with a different kind of excitement as Sebastian let out a dark chuckle before replying, "That's a good girl. Now, off you go."

I needed no other word take my leave of him. With a quick curtsy, I turned and began to sprint up the stairs, thankful that I no longer had to face him as by this time my face was radiating with embarrassment. I could only hope that in the dim lighting of the stairs that he had not noticed.

As I made it about half-way up the first set of stairs, Sebastian called me yet again.

"Sarah."

"Yes?" I asked, turning towards his voice to find he had not moved from where I had left him.

"Are you wearing perfume today?"

I blanched, my eyes widening, my heart pounding in my chest at the realization that the only thing that was different about my preparations for the day was not being able to completely clean the evidence from this morning's dream from between my legs. Surely…no, he couldn't be referring to that. He was only a man, after all…unless men were able to sense those sorts of things. The heat that radiated from my cheeks spread down my neck and to my ears. I swallowed in an attempt to wet my throat before I answered, though the exercise proved to be unsuccessful.

"N-No," I answered, my voice cracking.

Even at this distance and in the dim lighting of the stairs, I could see the wide smirk that spread across Sebastian's face at my response.

"If I may be so bold, I suggest that, whatever it is, that you wear it again. The scent is most…alluring."

With that, he turned on his heel and disappeared from my sight, setting off to return to whatever he had been doing before he had cornered me, leaving me frozen on the stairs, unable to move my gaze from the spot where he had just been standing, my thoughts spinning as I tried to ascertain what exactly he had meant.

/

True to my word, and in accordance with Sebastian's instructions, I had made quick work of lighting the necessary fires and tending to the washing for the day, eager to make up for my tardiness. Breakfast had been a rather dull affair and, before I knew it, the carriage had been loaded with our luggage and we set off with a brief farewell to the rest of the staff, instructions left to tend to the manor with the upmost attention whilst we were away-which was for an undetermined amount of time.

I had not been looking forward to the three hour long carriage ride before what had occurred this morning, seeing how things were currently between Sebastian and I. Much to my chagrin, the dream this morning served to complicate things even further and had made the trip absolutely unbearable. Since our fight over a week ago, I had made a conscious effort to avoid Sebastian as much as possible. What he had done was inexcusable, even more so than what he had done the night of the ball, and I wanted to ensure it was irrefutably clear. Some of my tactics may have been childish, but I felt they were necessary for what I wanted to accomplish.

So I had done everything to avoid the butler and communicate with him as little as possible, which was a rather difficult task at first. I had not realized how intertwined my days had become with him. Routes to complete my tasks were altered, our daily night caps and his instruction as my trainer had ceased, only speaking to him when absolutely necessary-our communications exclusively of a professional nature and only to ensure the proper running of the manor, and I would only spend any free time in the servant's hall if I was accompanied by the one of the other servants.

Despite the effort required to keep this up, the repercussions of the separation weren't all bad. In fact, some of them had been quite pleasant. The extra time I had been able to spend with the other servants had allowed me to grow closer to them in ways that never could have happened before. Instead of spending time with Sebastian discussing classic literature, music, and history, among other things, I had been able to discuss America and learn more about the latest weaponry with Bard; enjoy time with Mey-Rin in the armory; spend time doting on Minerva with Finny and follow him around the gardens as he chattered on about the various herbs and plants contained therein; and even the quiet Tanaka allowed me to enjoy the occasional green tea with him. And though their antics would never cease to plague my days, this time spent with them endeared them to me in ways I could not have envisioned before…had bound each one of them more tightly to my heart. It was tedious, but it was worth it.

I could tell Sebastian was livid, annoyed beyond belief at the measures I had taken, which I had to admit, was more satisfying than I had realized it would be. To his credit, he did not make it easy on me, either. With every alteration to my schedule, every measure I would take, he would make a countermove, determined to throw us together as much as possible. Our silent struggle had come to a head a couple of days ago, when he cornered me as I finished my duties for the day and was preparing to retire for the night.

I had gathered my nightclothes together and was making my way to the shower room when he appeared at the top of the servant's stairs. I passed by him with a quiet "Good night" (I wanted to punish him, but I was not going to be rude), not bothering to cast him a second glance, when he called after me. I only turned towards him half-way, casting him a sideways look as he continued when he realized I was not going to offer any further response. He approached slowly, his movements measured, his manner gentle as he asked what had happened to cause me to want to avoid him. I did not want to dramatize the interaction more than I needed to, so I obliged his rhetorical question and told him exactly why there had been a severance of sorts in our relationship. To his credit, he did not interrupt me as I explained all of the infractions that had occurred that led to this reaction, though, at the same time, he did not offer any sort of explanation or apology for his actions, either. After I had waited an adequate amount of time to allow for such a response, I informed him that if he wanted things to improve between us that he would need to apologize for his actions and respect me as his equal, which I was. That was when any sort of cordial familiarity faltered on his part. Instead of taking the olive branch I had extended, he figuratively knocked it aside as he offered no response other than to offer a curt "Very well", his eyes sparking with renewed vexation before he turned and left. Apparently he was just as stubborn as me.

I sighed heavily as I was bounced in my seat once more, the carriage finding yet another string of rocks in the road. Since I did not have occasion to venture from the manor any further than walking would allow, I had forgotten how uncomfortable carriage rides could be on the winding country roads. Yes, this was going to be a long trip.

I turned my attention from the view offered through the window to the little earl who sat across from me as he heaved a sigh as well. If the expression that soured his face was any indication, he was enjoying this trip as much as I was.

"So what is the plan once we arrive, my lord?" I asked. The only update I had been privy to since the discussion over the chess match was that the plans with Lord Amesworth had been delayed a few days, the baron offering the excuse that he was just returning from a business trip and would need a little time to prepare for such an auspicious guest.

"You will still have your day off as planned. Aunt Angelina had informed me that you are intending to spend the afternoon with her."

I nodded in confirmation, "Yes, my lord. It was my intent to remain with her until around eight and then return to the townhouse, if that is permissible."

Ciel cast Sebastian a sideways glance, his cerulean gaze piercing as he turned his attention back to me.

"Given the recent attempts on your life, I believe it would be best if you return to the townhouse before dark. Sebastian will arrive around six o'clock to walk you back."

I struggled to maintain a neutral countenance at his words, a flame of annoyance bristling my shoulders at my master's words, knowing from whom they had truly originated. Curse that persistent butler.

"Yes, my lord," I replied as amicably as possible, doing all that I could not to shoot the man sitting next to me a murderous glare.

"You will still have the duration of the day off. Once you return to the townhouse, you may do as you please," Ciel added.

"Thank you, my lord."

I had not expected such a generous offer.

Ciel waved a dismissive hand, "It is no great favor. With only the three of us there, Sebastian can easily attend to what needs attention without additional assistance. Your services will not be needed until we visit Lord Amesworth."

My jaw tightened at his irksome answer, my ire stirred. He could have just accepted my gratitude.

"When will that be, my lord?"

"In two days time," Sebastian answered, inserting himself into our conversation, "Ms. Hopkins will arrive tomorrow to deliver your suit for the mission."

I nodded my head again, acknowledging his answer, but not offering any further response. In all truthfulness, I had completely forgotten she had been tailoring me a suit. It seemed the discussion from just a week and a half prior had taken place some time ago.

With no further commentary from me, Sebastian pressed further, allowing his annoyance in my lack of a response showing through as he added, "From the way Ms. Hopkins described it, it will be a most impressive suit. She kept me on the phone for a half an hour yesterday describing it in great detail. It should allow splendidly for the proper use of the maneuvering gear you will be wearing." At this he paused, and I could almost feel his accusatory glare on me as he continued, "So long as you are able to adequately use it."

At his accusation, my attention snapped to him, the fire in my glare mirroring his own as I snapped, "I can use the gear more than adequately. It will not be a problem."

With that, I whipped my head back towards the window, turning my burning glare towards the greater world outside; leaving Ciel to glance uneasily between the two of us, wondering what in the world was going on, a small part of him not wanting to know.

I had hoped that would be the end of the discussion. However, Sebastian's reflection in the glass caught my attention as he turned to glare at me, adding a cutting, "We shall see."

My jaw tightened again, my hands clenching handfuls of the scratchy wool of my coat as I resisted the urge to turn back to the smug butler and strike out at him with one of the moves he had taught me. After taking a deep breath, though, I decided that I would not give him the satisfaction and opted not to respond, allowing the rest of the carriage ride to be blanketed in an uneasy silence.

/

It took all of my self control not to leap out of the carriage when we pulled up to Angelina's house. She resided on Arlington Street in the largest house which overlooked the sprawling park across the street, one of the many generous gifts of her departed husband, Lord Burnett. In the bright light of the early afternoon, the white stone of the house shone like a beacon as it was nestled on a spacious lawn several meters from the cobblestone street it abutted, the marble columns lining the front making it look more like a Greecian palace rather than the residence of a wealthy widow.

I followed Sebastian around the wrought iron gate which outlined the perimeter of the property to the side of the structure to where the servant's entrance was located. Since Ciel had opted to remain in the carriage, we would not approach from the front, a stinging reminder of my station in life. Even though I was here on Angelina's invitation, I was no longer a marchioness, but rather a maid.

Sebastian gave a few short raps on the door when we arrived, glancing around as we waited for a response. I rubbed my hands together before cupping them together and blowing in an attempt to warm them, before shoving them impatiently in my pockets, a fresh wave of shivers shaking my frame as we continued to wait. It was not particularly frigid today, however, the long carriage ride paired with the shadow cast by house stole away any warmth I had left. My shivers had started about half-way into the trip and more than once I was tempted to move closer to Sebastian, who seemed to be radiating with inviting warmth. But the embittered portion of my thoughts reminded me that doing so would negate any of the discipline I had attempted to exact on him and decided that I would rather freeze than to compromise on this matter.

"She _was_ aware you were coming?" Sebastian questioned, his tone slightly patronizing as he glanced over to me.

"Yes," I snapped, tired of both his antics and the cold, "Since she is the only one in residence, she does not keep a large staff. To my knowledge she only keeps a butler, footman, lady's maid, and a cook. Most likely no one heard you because they are about elsewhere in the house."

At my response, Sebastian turned, casting the door a disapproving look as if his glare would scold whatever servants were inside, grumbling, "Still, a good butler would have ensured someone would have been here to receive you, even if you are just a servant."

He shook his head, mumbling under his breath, "Disgraceful."

Allowing another moment or two for a response, Sebastian knocked on the door again, his knocks louder and more insistent this time. A few seconds later, the sliding and clacking of a lock being turned answered before the door creaked open, revealing a petite maid who appeared to a few years older than me, her golden hair pinned up in a fashionable bun, the frills on her apron and small poofs at the shoulders of her uniform all indicative of Nina's work-making my appearance seem plain and out of date in comparison. A brilliant blush colored her cheeks, her mercury gray eyes widening, greeting caught in her throat as she gazed up at Sebastian.

The awkward silence continued for longer than I even expected. Sebastian, who I had expected to initiate some sort of conversation by this point, simply smiled down at the maid before him, clearly relishing in having rendered her speechless upon appearance alone.

When the maid finally did find her voice, she was only able to stammer out an unsteady, "Good-good afternoon."

Subtly rolling my eyes as Sebastian continued to remain silent, I took a slight step towards the maid, a warm smile on my face as I introduced myself.

"Good afternoon. I am Miss Wakefield. I am here to meet Lady Dalles."

The maid jumped as I spoke, broken out of her trance-like stare at the butler, casting me a similar wide-eyed look that told me she was just now realizing that I had been here the whole time. Her blush deepened as she fully realized the rudeness of her behavior.

"Ah, yes, Miss Wakefield, do come in. Lady Dalles is waiting for you in the parlor," the maid said, stepping aside to grant me entrance, which I gladly accepted, anxious to be out of the cold.

As I entered, the maid turned her attention back to Sebastian.

"Are you coming as well, sir?"

Sebastian flashed her a charming smile and I had to stifle the jealousy that riled within me as the maid returned his smile with a goofy one, clearly besotted with him.

"No, I am simply ensuring Miss Wakefield safely arrived for her afternoon with Madame Red," he paused, turning in preparation to make his leave, when he looked back at us, stepping into the sunlight and leaning his head so his raven locks attractively outlined his face. At this display, the maid seemed to be quite shaken, and even I had to stop myself from being enraptured by the handsome display before us, "I shall return to collect her around six. Good afternoon."

Flashing a satisfied grin, he departed, leaving the maid and I behind, both in a bit of a daze in the aftermath of the affects of his charm. Being more familiar with similar actions, I was the first to recover, shaking my head as another wave of shivers shook my body, while the other maid still stood, staring out into the chilly afternoon.

"Good…afternoon," she whispered, her words drawn out.

When she made no further sign of moving, I cleared my throat, causing her to jump for the second time in the past five minutes as I called her back to the present. Inwardly I hoped that this was not how I appeared when I was around Sebastian.

Another fresh blush came to her cheeks as she closed the door a little too enthusiastically.

"Right this way, miss."

I followed the petite maid, allowing my gaze to wander as she led me past the kitchens and scullery before we ascended the narrow servant's stairs. Despite the house being significantly smaller than the Phantomhive manor, the layout of the lower level of the house still allowed for a rather spacious feel. Though I noted, with a look that probably would have made Sebastian proud, they did not keep things as tidy as they should have. It wasn't necessarily dirty, but their upkeep of their working areas would not have passed the test of Sebastian's scrutiny. For the briefest of moments, my chest swelled with pride as I realized that there was something to all of Sebastian's perfectionism. Even though he could sometimes be a tiresome overseer, he was the only voice of authority, save Ciel himself, to direct the management of the great house…and he did it well.

Not a word passed between the maid and I, even when she led me to the door which I recognized as belonging to the parlor. Instead she gave a soft couple of knocks, waiting a moment before opening the door.

"Miss Wakefield, my lady."

From within the parlor, I heard the folding of paper, followed by Angelina's lilting voice.

"Thank you, Matthews. Please see her in."

At Angelina's command, the maid curtseyed and stepped to the side, gaze downcast as I entered the room.

"Oh, and Matthews," she called to the maid's retreating figure.

She paused at her mistress' word, her movements stiff as she turned about to face her again, clearly wanting to retreat as quickly as possible, her voice small as she replied, "Yes, my lady?"

"Please have Hannes bring up tea to the library when he arrives. We should have moved there by then."

With another curtsey and a "Yes, my lady", Matthews finally was granted the release she desired, her quick strides carrying her out of sight within seconds.

Now that we were alone, Angelina rose from where she had been reclining on one of the three couches that surrounded the large fireplace. She wore a silk chemise, over which was a silk night coat of sorts, which was loosely tied about her waist, both garments a brilliant shade of scarlet, which was to be expected from her wardrobe. Some might have been offended at the less than appropriate casual state of attire, but I was simply glad to be in the presence of someone who felt at ease when I was around, and who made me feel the same.

Her crimson stained lips widened into a broad smile as she opened her arms as she approached, her face lighting with amiable warmth as she embraced me.

"It is so good to see you again," she said with a squeeze and I found myself smiling as I embraced her back. As she held me, she gave a sudden gasp, pulling away slightly to look at me as she added with a look of surprise, "Good heavens, you're freezing!"

"The carriage ride was chillier than I had expected," I explained as, without warning, Angelina grabbed my wrist and pulled me over to the couch the sat opposite of hers, which was closely nestled to the hearth where a healthy flame glowed.

I removed my coat, opting to swaddle myself in the blanket Angelina proffered, basking in the warmth offered by the fireplace. She studied me for a moment until she had assured herself that I was comfortable and, when she had, she sat across from me, crossing her legs as she reclined back to her original position.

"It appears I owe you several apologies," she began, casually placing the magazine she had been reading on the low table that sat in the midst of all of the couches, the dark mahogany intricately carved, much like the other furnishings in the room, "I do not know what has gotten into Matthews. I would have had Hannes greet you, but he was escorting Lady Evans to her home."

I smiled slightly and shook my head, "It was no trouble. I do not think Matthews can be entirely blamed for her actions. She seemed to be taken quite off guard when she saw Sebastian."

"Yes, that devil of a man seems to have that affect on a lot of people," Angelina chuckled with dark mirth as she smirked.

A rush of warmth seared my cheeks and I bit my lower lip nervously at her words, glancing about the room in an effort to find any other topic of conversation other than the handsome butler.

My attention skirted over the richly adorned room, the darkly hued woods and gold accents of the furniture and accent pieces complimenting the crimson that permeated throughout the room on the rugs, curtains, and fabric of the furniture. It was quite a contrast from the whimsical cornflower blue and white accented décor with silver finishings that had been on display the last time I visited her house a year ago. It had been the style she and Lord Burnett had chosen together, but, I mentally noted, a ghost of a smile on my lips, this change was much more suited to Angelina.

I opened my mouth, a comment on the change on my lips when the magazine that sat on the table caught my attention. My brow quirked with curiosity as I read the title.

"Since when do you read _Beeton's Domestic_? I thought _The Queen_ or _Shafts_ was more your thing."

At my question, Angelina heaved a sigh, rubbing her temples as she closed her eyes.

"Normally I would not, but I am desperate for a new butler. Hannes does his best, poor thing, but he simply cannot live up to Jenkins."

"Surely Jenkins did not retire," I stated, recalling images of the elderly butler and his distinguished sideburns, along with the dignified way with which he always carried himself, "I thought he enjoyed working for you."

Angelina looked down, toying with the hem if her chemise, a small, mournful smile on her lips.

"Yes, the dear old man did enjoy doting on me. He had been serving my husband's family for fifty years. Unfortunately, he passed away near the end of January and I have not had the heart to replace him," she paused, looking up, disappointment in her eyes.

"I am sorry to hear that. He was a good man," I inserted, chuckling softly as a memory came to mind, "I know he would always ensure there were strawberry parfaits at dinner whenever I visited. He would try to play it off as some happy chance of events, but I knew otherwise."

Angelina gave a slight smile at the memory, her grin never quite reaching her eyes.

"I did not want to have to replace him, but I cannot avoid it any longer. Hannes has tried his best, but it is too much asking him to serve as butler, footman, and valet."

"I see," I said softly, trying to think of any news I had heard of those nearby who would be interested in serving as a butler, however, being so cut off from the world as I was at the Phantomhive manor, I quickly realized I would be of no help.

"I can ask Sebastian if he knows of any honest fellows who would be interested in the post. He travels beyond the estate more than any of the rest of us servants, perhaps he has heard something," I offered.

"Thank you, I would appreciate it," Angelina gratefully replied, "I have been scouring the magazines for any advertisements, but I have yet to have any luck. And, though I do know it is the normal course of things, I hate to advertise. Being a single, wealthy noblewoman certainly has the possibility of attracting the most unsavory of characters."

I nodded in agreement, loosening my hold on the blanket somewhat as I had finally warmed myself.

"Oh dear, well, enough about me!" Angelina announced with a hearty laugh, "Today is your day off. What would you like to do?"

"Well," I began, my tone indicating my slight disappointment, "Sebastian is to collect me at six to escort me back to the townhouse, so I suppose it would be best if we remained here for the duration of my visit."

At my revelation about the length of my visit, Angelina stuck out her bottom lip in a pout.

"That man just wants you to himself!" she huffed, eliciting a fresh blush from me, before she waved a dismissive hand, "Oh well, I suppose it is for the best. I must confess I was hoping for a day in myself. I had a rather long night, so a chance to lounge about all day is rather appealing."

The next several hours were spent with the two of us enjoying each other's company: discussing anything and everything from general societal gossip to new surgical techniques Angelina had been teaching to the newest surgeons at the hospital; perusing the new additions to her library over tea and biscuits; taking turns playing various pieces on her piano which was on prominent display in her morning room, though she was a much better musician than I-my musical skill lay in singing; and continuing to chat as we half-heartedly played chess-even in this less competitive setting, I still swept victory every time. It was a thoroughly enjoyable way to pass the day and I found that this was just as satisfying, possibly even more so, than if we had gone to visit some of the shops Angelina mentioned in previous conversation. It was a relief to know that I would not have to worry about solving some sort of crisis or be at someone's beck and call for today. The freedom was thrilling, though bittersweet.

I smiled, shaking that thought from my mind as I reminded myself to savor this while it lasted.

"Oh, I wish I had been there to see his face," Angelina sighed with giddy humor, wiping a tear from her eye as she reclined back in her chair while I reset the chessboard for the third time.

Laughter warmed me, lightening my heart, just as amused as she was at the recounting of my chess match with her nephew as I replied through chuckles, "He was absolutely mortified."

Her face suddenly grew serious as she leaned forward, resting her chin on her hand as she supported her elbow on her knee.

"So," she began, her eyes shimmering with mischief, "what did Sebastian think of your victory?"

At his name, my heart thudded with a jolt of anxiety, my abrupt movements knocking some of the pieces down. I hurried to right them, a fresh dusting of pink coming to my cheeks.

"He, ah, was rather excited to see Ciel bested," I mumbled.

"Oh dear," Angelina teased with a chuckle, "He really has you wound up tight, doesn't he? So, how are things between you and the handsome butler?"

I sighed, flopping back into the chair, running my fingers through my hair, "We are fighting. Well, we fought and now I am avoiding him as best I can while he refuses to apologize."

Her reaction to my words caught me off guard as she squealed with girlish excitement, rushing over to sit on the arm of my chair.

"Your first lover's spat?" she gushed, clasping my hands in hers, "You must tell me _everything_!"

"Why does everyone keep calling us that?!" I sighed in exasperation, "We have not, nor will ever be lovers!"

Angelina patted my shoulder gently, knowing smile on her face as she cooed, "Oh dear, sweet, innocent Sarah. You don't have to officially be labeled as lovers to be so. Your actions are enough to prove that."

Another rush of embarrassment heated my face as I opened my mouth, my voice stammering as I attempted to object, only to be silenced as she placed a finger over my lips.

"Your efforts to object only serve to prove my point," she insisted, before leaning closer, "Now, spill."

I shot her a reproving glare, sighing as I conceded defeat. Once she was satisfied that I would not resist further, she removed her finger, resting her chin on her hand once more as she awaited to hear my story.

"There is not much _to_ tell, really. I do not know what got into him this time. He was training me on a new skill, as he has been recently, but he pushed me too hard and too fast this time," I paused, looking down at my skirt as I rolled it between my fingers, my tone softening as I continued, speaking more to myself than her, "He was so insistent…almost desperate for me to succeed…willing to push me past my brink to achieve his goals."

"Perhaps it is because he is concerned about you," Angelina suggested, her tone gentle as she rubbed soothing circles on my back.

My lips twisted with a pained smile, still unable to look at her as I replied, "I wish I could believe that, but that is not the case. He believes he can do those things, push me so hard, because he feels I owe it to him…almost as if he owns me."

A soft gasp of surprise answered my confession and I turned my attention to her, finding her mouth agape with surprise before her shock twisted into intense disapproval.

"How did you answer him?"

"Ummm," I hesitated, sheepishly grinning as I continued, "I kneed him in the groin and reminded him that he does not own me."

"As you should have, well done!" Angelina cheered, grasping my shoulder as she gave me an approving smile, "I can understand why you have been treating him so harshly."

"You do not think it is too much?" I asked, anxious to have reassurance of my actions.

She scoffed, scooting off the arm of the chair to pour another glass of wine from the crystal decanter Hannes had brought an hour prior.

"If he had said such things to me, he would have more to deal with than social separation," she paused, pouring another glass which she extended to me as she returned to the arm of the chair, "But, alas, that is an unfortunate reality of your situation. He is your superior, you live in the same house, and work closely with one another day in and day out, of course that limits your options. Still," she purred, flashing a wicked grin, "you should take this opportunity to torture him."

I blanched at the suggestion, wondering what she had in mind when she mentioned torturing him, but did not get a chance to question her as a moment later, she raised her glass in a toast.

"To independence and sweet revenge."

I attempted to raise my glass to share in her toast, but I found the words felt falsely hollow on my lips, given how difficult I was finding his discipline in execution.

"Hm?" Angelina hummed, pausing mid-sip, her brow quirking questioningly before lowering her glass, "What is wrong, Sarah?"

My cheeks burned as they flushed a bright red and my heart fluttered nervously in my chest as I hurriedly raised the glass to my lips, taking a steadying drink. I did not know how I was going to put my next confession into words.

An uncomfortable silence fell between us, the only interrupting noise came from the grand clock in the hall as it chimed to indicate it was half past four, as I struggled to muster up the courage I needed to give voice to the reality which had plagued me acutely since this morning…that there was a part of me, an instinctual, almost primal part of myself which would always long for Sebastian…long for him in an intimate way…in a way we could never share.

"I-…," I began, my voice faltering almost immediately. Taking another long drink, I attempted to press forward, "I find it difficult…to-to maintain this distance from him."

I paused, beginning to rotate the glass with my fingers, waiting for some sort of response from Angelina. When none came, I took a deep breath, steeling myself as I looked back up at my friend. My heart tugged as her eyes softened with the open kindness I knew she felt towards me, no threat of judgment in them. If there was another soul to which I could speak this secret, it was her.

"In my mind I know that nothing could ever come from…from whatever it is we share," I explained, soon finding the words spilling from my lips like a sinner at confession, "As you have said, he is my superior. We are both servants of an important lord. Such a relationship would be scandalous and would threaten to not only destroy Sebastian's reputation and what little there is left of mine, but also Ciel's as well. He has already suffered enough criticism for hiring me in the first place, I could not bring additional shame upon his name. Sebastian is quick tempered and impatient and a perfectionist to a fault. He has no problem using and abusing others if it furthers either his cause or the cause of his master. He can be cruel and unforgiving and stubborn as the devil himself. But," I paused, a slight smile tugging at my lips as I continued, "But I have seen a warmth in him as well, something akin to tenderness. I have seen passion and sharp intelligence and dedication beyond question. He has protected me on multiple occasions and has forced me to become someone who I never could have been without his help. And he…he is the first person other than you who has listened, I mean _really_ listened to me."

Angelina's smile continued to widen with each sentence I spoke and something told me that this was not the first confession of this sort which she had given ear to…this was possibly similar to the conflict she had experienced in regard to her feelings toward the former Earl Phantomhive.

"I thought I had reconciled myself to my feelings, prepared to endure the rest of my days of employment at the Phantomhive estate with the ache of unrequited-unrequited love. And I was…until this morning."

I paused after I finished the last statement, taking another sip from my glass, wishing the wine would hasten its affects so this admittance would not be so painfully awkward.

"What happened this morning?"

I sighed inwardly as the question fell from her lips. There was no going back now.

"I…I had a dream," I stated, unable to divulge any more details at the moment.

My friend's brow raised in question at my vague response before replying, "Well, it is perfectly normal to dream about someone you care for deeply."

My blush deepened, spreading down my neck and to my shoulders as I nervously chewed my bottom lip.

"It was not that kind of dream," I mumbled, casting my gaze towards my wine glass as I added, "In the dream, Sebastian and I…we _did_ things."

"Oh."

My heart sank at her response, bracing myself for a reprove of some sort, but glanced up when she did not offer one.

"Most people in polite society would not admit to it, but such dreams are very common, normal even," she stated matter-of-factly, seemingly unfazed by my confession.

"Really?" I whispered questioningly in disbelief. I had no idea.

Angelina smiled softly, draining her glass of wine before setting it down with a soft clink on a nearby table.

"Come," she said as she rose from her perch on the arm of her chair, "I have something to share with you."

I bit back all of the questions her command had stirred, choosing rather to follow her from the library after finishing my wine glass as well. My footsteps fell quietly on the carpet lined hallway as I hurried to catch up to her, joining her by her side as she rounded the corner, my eyes wandering over the various paintings and mirrors that adorned the walls, wondering what she could want to show me.

"I fear that being raised by your father has left you quite in the dark when it comes to understanding your sexuality," Angelina stated, stopping as we reached the door to her chambers, "Though, such seems to be the case for most women today."

My insides twisted awkwardly at her blunt statement. However, I could not deny it, so I remained silent.

"I have a couple of-…," she trailed off as she opened the door to her chambers, quickly adding, "Oh my."

My eyes widened as we stepped into her room. I knew Angelina to be a rather tidy person, so to see her private chambers in such disarray was rather shocking. Various articles of clothing lay forgotten on the floor, one of the curtains that hung from her four poster canopied bed hung off center, and the bed sheets and blankets were draped carelessly from the mattress.

"My apologies, I thought Matthews would have seen to tidying this earlier," she apologized, stepping around the clothing obstacles as she made her way over to her bed-side table, opening one of the drawers and rifling through its contents.

"But," she chimed, scooping up a couple of books in her arms before turning towards me, giving a playful wink, "I did say that I had a long night last night, didn't I?"

"That you did," I replied as I gave a nervous chuckle as she strode back over to me, unsure as to how I should respond, given my own naiveté about such matters.

I had known Angelina was a rather free woman when it came to her courters. It was a well known fact among those in society that she was not lacking when it came to lovers. And, though I did not share her enthusiasm for such liberty, I could not condemn her for it, either. She had experienced enough sorrow in her life, she deserved whatever happiness life could afford her, even if it were only for a night.

"Oops," she sighed, scooping a pair of lavender lace stockings from the floor before draping them over the chair that sat in front of her powder table, "Looks like Emily forgot to grab her stockings before she left."

I started with mild surprise at the mention of Lady Evans' name.

"Lady Evans?" I blurted out in question before I could stop myself.

"Yes," Angelina replied, offering a warm smile in response, "She and I have been lovers for the past year or so."

My eyes widened at the revelation, to which Angelina never faltered in her amiability as she asked in a soft voice, "You are not disappointed in me, are you, Sarah?"

"No, of course not," I answered quickly, surprise still evident in my voice as I pressed to clarify, "It is only that you had never told me you had female lovers before, so it took me by surprise."

"Well, most people are not as accepting and gracious as you when it comes to such matters, so I suppose I kept it quiet out of habit," she admitted, smiling sheepishly, "Emily and I met at a dinner party Viscount Druitt was hosting. We began talking and…well, one thing led to another and we ended up sharing my bed that night."

"So long as you both are happy is all that matters to me," I smiled, reaching out and rubbing her arm gently.

She proffered me a grateful smile in return, her eyes softening as we shared in the warmth of a moment of mutual understanding.

"Though," she began, breaking the silence, her teasing tone hinting to the change in topic, "if you decide you need a break from men like Sebastian making your head spin, I know of a few ladies who would make excellent bed companions."

A hearty laugh shook her frame in response to my stunned silence, her free arm wrapping around my shoulders, pulling me against her side, "Perhaps not yet, though. Baby steps."

/

My foot kept time with the tick-tock of the clock that sat on the long side table that stood against the far wall of the library, gazing down at the pages of the book that sat on my lap. After I had read over the same sentence for the fourth time in a row, I gave up on the exercise, heaving a sigh as I closed the book with a thud. It was no use. I could not relax like this.

"Where is he?" I muttered under my breath as I cast a pointed look at the clock, which read a quarter til seven.

Angelina had received an urgent call from the hospital just before five o'clock. Apparently there had been an accident at one of the steel mills that had resulted in at least ten fatalities, several dozens more wounded, who were in the process of being transported to the hospital at which Angelina was employed. They would not have contacted her on her day off, however, their top surgeon had unexpectedly fallen ill and was indisposed, so she was their next best candidate to tend to the flood of incoming patients.

After helping her into a suitable outfit, I had rung the townhouse, only to receive no reply. I had not been concerned at the time, as it was most likely that Ciel and Sebastian were simply out, given it was an hour before Sebastian would be coming for me. So, with her apologies, Angelina left me to entertain myself whilst Hannes drove her to the hospital.

I had been more than content to do so, a perverse sense of curiosity gnawing away at my mind as I was anxious to read the two books she had lent me. When she had handed them to me, she explained the graphic nature of its contents, as it depicted and gave great detail on the various sexual experiences which a human could enjoy, and told me that if I had any questions to give her a ring. Seeing as I was an independent woman know, she believed it was time that I began to learn about the more carnal things of this world in an enjoyable application.

So soon after she had departed, I stole away to the library, cocooning myself in the blanket from earlier as I curled up on a plush, oversized arm chair, eager to devour the book and its contents. However, as the graphically sexual images and descriptions jarringly appeared on the pages before me, the stirring of arousal began to warm my abdomen and I decided, blushing profusely as I slammed the book shut, that it was best to review them in a much more private setting and stuffed them away in the satchel she had lent me a well, opting to read the well worn copy of Jane Eyre that she kept here for me instead.

The shadows cast by the various vases and plants that decorated the tops of the tables grew longer as five quickly gave way to six and six soon became six thirty. It was then that I decided to try contacting the town house once more, unfortunately, no one answered. I was at a loss for what to do. Should I stay and wait for Sebastian to collect me? I did not want to face the potential wrath of disobeying his order. Though, my mind suggested, he really hadn't ordered me to remain here until he had come. So I had decided to give the butler until seven to retrieve me before setting back to the townhouse on my own. It was only a thirty minute walk from Angelina's house to the townhouse, so I should be able to arrive before night had fallen completely.

With a sigh, I forced myself to rise from the comfort of the chair, allowing the blanket to fall from my shoulders as I returned the book to its place on the shelf. He had left me no choice. I had begun folding the blanket when there came a knock at the library door. Turning my attention towards the noise, blanket resting to drape over my left arm, I found Matthews standing in the doorway.

"Pardon me, Miss," she began, her voice soft and submissive, "Should I have Mrs. Patmoore prepare some dinner for you while you wait?"

I gave a warm smile in response, tucking the blanket one more time before setting it on the chair I had been reclining in moments before.

"Thank you, but that will not be necessary. I shall be leaving presently."

Matthews curtsied in acknowledgement, before stepping back into the hallway as she waited silently for me to retrieve my coat and satchel.

"Please thank Lady Dalles for allowing me to call on her today and for borrowing the books," I said, buttoning my long coat quickly before slipping the satchel over my head so it draped across my torso.

With that, I stepped out into the hallway, walking beside Matthews as she escorted me through the house and down to the lowest level where I could access the servant's entrance. Every so often I would see the shy maid glance at me with curiosity, before turning quickly away. As we left the stairway for the servants, I found her doing so again.

"Is there something on your mind…," I began, softening my voice so my question did not seem accusatory then paused, adding, "What is your first name?"

"Um, it is Anna, Miss."

"Well, Anna, it seemed that there is something on your mind," I offered a subtle smile to reassure her I was not upset by her actions. She seemed she could be rather timid if she felt confronted.

She looked away from me again, a faint blush of shame coming to her cheeks and remained silent. As we approached the servant's door, I had begun to assume that she was going to refuse to speak however, after taking a deep breath, she began, her voice quivering some from nerves, "I-I was simply wondering…well…are you really a maid, miss?"

My brows lifted in surprise at her question, unsure what had brought this on.

Anna halted, holding her hands up in defense, the words spilling from her mouth as she continued, "It's just that you speak so properly and with authority like you are a great lady. I was just surprised at that coming from a servant."

My lips lifted in a mournful smile, my voice soft as I replied, "You are rather observant, Anna."

"So you are a great lady?" she whispered, her eyes wide at the apparent revelation.

"No," I answered, "but I used to be."

Bewilderment swam in her eyes at my words, but she did not venture to press the matter further. So, taking her silence as the end to our conversation, I opened the door, cringing at the cool bite of the air before stepping outside.

"Oh," I added, turning back to the maid to find her standing where I had left her, "Should Mr. Michaelis stop by, please inform him that I have left to return to the townhouse."

Without waiting for her response, I ascended the stairs to the path that I followed as I made my way from the property and out onto the walk that lined the streets, my shoes clicking against the stone as I began to make my way home. Though the sun had just begun to set, there weren't many people about, most likely deterred from lingering outside by the cooling temperatures. I slipped my hands into my gloves as I passed by a young chap who had begun to light the lanterns that lined the streets, my breath swirling about my face in great wisps as my mind became lost in thought.

The heaviness that weighed on my heart from my conversation with Anna had come as a surprise. I had believed that I had come to terms with my current situation, but the grief that had echoed in my response to Anna proved otherwise. The entirety of my visit with Angelina had been a subtle reminder of how drastically my life had changed. It was not the luxury or the clout that came with being a marchioness which I lamented, but rather the freedom it afforded. Certainly as a woman my liberties were limited and depended greatly upon my father or my future husband, but a significant portion of my life would be governed by my wishes and desires. Within reason, I could go where I pleased, call upon whomever I chose, without having to concern myself with being a burden should I have to remain somewhere longer than intended or worrying about a master to whom I had to return. My situation was further complicated by the suffocating watch that was placed upon my movements, given that _he_ was trying to reclaim me.

I huffed as I gruffly wiped away a few tears that had fallen, unbidden, from my eyes. There was no sense in crying over something that I could not change, no matter how tortured I was at feeling so trapped. And I could not afford to be distracted at the moment, my mind harshly reminded me as I came to a less fortunate side of town. It was not as dilapidated as the East End, however, the lack of street lanterns and walkways indicated a significant decrease in wealth compared to the neighborhood that resided only a few streets away. How ironic, I thought as I gazed up at the lines of drying laundry that hung above me, the articles of clothing appearing black against the vibrant molten orange of the sunset lit sky, that such a short distance would separate people of such different lives. On Arlington Street, the greatest concerns the residents might have is whether they would redecorate their homes in a traditional English fashion or with a more flamboyant Parisian flare or what to do about two conflicting social invitations. Whereas those who lived in the dark, huddled buildings along this street had more basic worries, such as starvation or disease. Opulent wealth pressed right next to haggard poverty, both worlds passing by in willing ignorance to the other's presence. What a cruel paradox this world was.

As I rounded the street corner, my ears perked as they caught the sound of steady footsteps behind me. I did not slow my pace, taking a brief moment to steal a glance behind me. There were a few people, mostly women who were bustling about, pulling the laundry off the lines as they worked to bring the clothes inside before night had fallen. No one here could afford a ruined outfit because it had gotten left out in the snow or rain. Nothing out of the ordinary…though I did notice a hooded figure who was walking along the same way, several meters behind me, probably some fellow who was on his way home after a long day at the factory or down by the pier. Still, my mind warned, an apprehensive shiver going down my spine as I slid my hands into my coat pockets, my right hand grasping for comfort onto the handle of the knife that I kept in there, I couldn't be too careful. I was about half way to the townhouse. There was still plenty of time for something to go amiss.

My pace quickened a few minutes later when the steady footfalls of the figure had not changed or disappeared. The sky had deepened to a scorching mixture of scarlet and vibrant pink, the darker shade of deep navy and violet of nightfall not far behind. The grip on my knife tightened as the sounds of any footsteps were drowned out by the rowdy commotion of the surrounding pubs. I glanced back, the icy tendrils of panic shooting through my veins as I noticed that during the few minutes that had passed between my first spotting the figure and now, the figure had significantly closed the distance between us. Just a quick sprint and they would be able to grab me.

I grit my teeth as I turned my attention back ahead of me, narrowly avoiding colliding with an overly endowed whore, who clung shamelessly to her client. What had I been thinking? I should have simply waited until Sebastian had arrived. I ignored the whore's slurs she threw at me, along with her client's drunken shouts to "watch where I was bloody going", trying to lose my pursuer in the shifting and swaying mass of people.

My heart skipped a beat as I looked back only to find that my efforts had been for naught, my pursuer now close enough that I could make out the glint of light that sparked in their emerald green eyes, the rest of their features still greatly hidden by the shadow cast by their hood. In another scene, their eyes would have been captivating, however, now their gaze struck fear into the core of my heart.

At the risk of drawing attention to my situation, I quickened my pace once more, now proceeding at a brisk walk. A loud roar of commotion came from my right and I turned just in time to see a large man falling towards me, his face bruised and bloody from the fight he had just lost. Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do to prevent him from colliding into me and I was sent tumbling to the ground. Or so I thought.

As I began to fall, a pair of strong hands gripped my shoulders, pulling me away from the potential bone breaking fall. My relief was squelched as I turned to thank my savior, gratitude caught in my throat, my eyes widening as I looked up at my pursuer. Their strong grip never left my shoulders as they wordlessly pushed me forward and away from the carousing of the pubs. **No.** I thought, my eyes frantically searching for an escape of some sorts. **This was not going to happen. I was not going to be taken…not so easily at least.**

A resolved smirk tugged at the corner of my mouth as I spotted an alleyway to my left. **Perfect.** With calculated movements, I suddenly lurched forward, throwing off my pursuer's balance enough that their hold on me lessened, allowing me to deal a sharp jab at their abdomen with my elbow. This achieved what I had hoped, as the figure gave out a pained hiss at the contact, completely loosening their grip on me.

If I was smart, I would have run. However, by this time adrenaline and rage flooded my veins in equal measure. No, I would not let them live…not with what they were planning on doing with me. So, instead of bolting to freedom, I whipped about, charging at the figure and grasping at the collar of their coat, forcing them into the aforementioned alleyway. They let out a loud huff, the wind knocked out of them as I slammed them unforgivingly into the brick wall, a cold ringing piercing the air as I quickly pulled out my knife, pressing it menacingly against their throat.

"You have five seconds to explain why you have been following me," I growled, adding pressure to the blade, a thin trickle of blood coming from where I had barely sliced their skin, "Or else I will not hesitate to slit your throat."

I glared up at the figure who stood about a head taller than I, the same height as Sebastian, though in the shadow of the alley and the dying light of twilight, I was unable make out any non-verbal response. A moment later, a rich peal of laughter sounded, catching me off guard. **Wait.** I realized, my eyes widening. **I know that laugh.**

"My, ye seem to 'ave toughened up quite a bit since I last saw ye, my little Songbird. You 'ave quite a bite to ye now."

"Menowin?" I whispered in disbelief.

"That be me. Now, could ye do me a favor an' lower the knife? Tis a bit uncomfortable."

My knife clattered to the ground, my hands eagerly pulling back the hood instead, a broad smile of excitement lighting my face. In the dim light that filtered from the street, dark brown locks shone and large, emerald green eyes shimmered in contrast to the olive toned skin. For once it seemed fate was smiling kindly on me, allowing this unexpected reunion with my gypsy friend.

My heart lifted with relief and excitement, momentarily forgetting myself as I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace. I closed my eyes, a contented smile on my lips as I breathed his rich scent in deeply, all previous anxiety washing away as I smelled the familiar scent of pine, sage, and sweat. His chest rumbled as he gave another laugh, the tinkling of his golden earrings soothing as he wrapped his arms around me to return my embrace.

"Now tha's more like my Songbird."

My heart swelled at his affectionate term for me and I nuzzled my nose deeper into his coat. I had forgotten how much I missed him. We stood embraced like this for a couple of minutes, basking in the happy glow of our reunion, neither one of us wanting to end this moment. With a discontented sigh, I decided I would have to be the strong one and pulled away from the warmth and comfort that awaited in his arms.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, before playfully pushing his chest, "And what were you thinking about following me like that? I could have killed you!"

Menowin gave another hearty laugh, his eyes sparkling with mirth at my question, holding his hands up in fake injury.

"Oh, I donna think it'd be that easy. We had heard about wha' happened to ye and yer father an' we had assumed the worst. Plus we had kinda worn out our welcome with the French, so it was time to move on anyway. So we came to pay our respects, seein' how ye and yer father have helped us out in the past. I was makin' me way back to camp when I thought I'd seen ye, so I followed to see if I was righ'."

"So you make it a habit of stalking women who happen to look like me?" I quipped, my brow quirking with amusement.

"Not usually," he said, chuckling as he gave me a playful wink.

"Though," he added, his expression becoming more serious as he continued, "I could be askin' ye the same thing. Wha's a lady like ye doin' about these parts so close to nightfall?"

My eyes widened at the realization of his words, his brows furrowing with further confusion at my response.

"Oh dear, I must return to the townhouse soon or else Sebastian will murder me!" I whispered, my tone hurried and hushed as I retrieved my knife from the ground and took a couple of steps backwards towards the mouth of the alleyway.

"Who's this Sebastian?" Menowin asked, his tone becoming defensive as his mouth dipped in disapproval.

"He is the butler who works for the master I serve now."

"Master? What'r ye sayin'?"

I cut off his questions by grabbing his hand, giving a slight tug as I beckoned, "Come. Walk me back and I shall explain everything."

True to my word, as we walked the remaining distance together, my left arm linked with his right, I told him everything that had transpired in the past three, now almost four, months. He listened in uncharacteristically attentive silence, only asking a clarifying question here or there as he attempted to fully understand my current situation. By the time I had finished recounting everything, we had arrived at the townhouse, its windows glowing invitingly against the darkness of the night that had finally fallen.

"I donna like tha' he's lookin' for ye again," Menowin murmured as we slowed to a stop just beside the stairs of the servant's entrance.

"Nor do I," I replied sullenly, glancing down at the ground, "But we have been able to thwart his efforts to present, so there is some victory to be celebrated, I suppose."

I turned to look up at Menowin, to find him gazing absentmindedly at the townhouse, a slight smile on his full lips as he commented, "Though, it seems ye couldn'ta landed yerself in a more perfect situation with the young lord."

"Yes," I mused, a subtle smile gracing my lips, my eyes softening with fondness as I turned my gaze from him to look towards the townhouse as well, "I suppose so."

We gazed at the grey stone building in mutual silence for a moment, both of us processing the weight of the information I had shared over the past twenty or so minutes. The discussion had brought to light the graveness of my situation, which had previously been lost on me. Since the events had occurred piece by piece, I had not registered the full picture until I had presented it to someone else. I was trapped even more than I had realized.

"Well, Songbird, I best be off," Menowin said with a sigh, though his tone gave away the disappointment he felt about our parting, "They'll be wonderin' where I be if I stay away too much longer."

Our slightly mournful smiles mirrored each others as we turned to face the other, Menowin reaching out a gentle hand, tucking some stray hairs behind my ear.

"Depending on how well the English tolerate us, we's plannin' on stayin' at least a few months. We're camped down close to the river near the South side of the city. I would like to see ye again if that be possible. And I know I'm not the only one."

I smiled warmly at his invitation, "That is somewhat close to Lord Amesworth. We are planning to visit him soon, so I shall see if I might be able to visit around then. Though I do not know how long we shall remain in London after our visit, but I will see what can be arranged."

"I hope ye are able to come," Menowin confessed, his eyes softening with affection, though sorrow danced just beneath the surface of his gaze as he added, "I missed ye, my Songbird."

His hand gently cupped my face, his eyes closing as he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes as well, another smile gracing my lips as the warmth from his affection made my heart swell.

"I have missed you, too, Menowin," I whispered.

"I am just happy to see ye's bein' looked after so well," he replied softly, his thumb rubbing my cheek tenderly.

A moment later his gaze snapped to something behind me that had caught his attention. My brow furrowed with concern as his eyes narrowed, the light from the lamps catching his eyes in such a way that for a brief moment they seemed to glow.

All amiability and tenderness were gone from his voice as he addressed whoever was approaching, "Who are ye?"

I made to turn about to see who it was, my hands itching to grab my guns as Menowin took a defensive step towards me, shielding me somewhat from the potential threat. However, any concern was eliminated when I heard the familiar voice answer in kind, "I should be asking you the same thing, good sir. And would you care to explain why you felt you could behave so familiarly with Miss Harrington?"

"It is all right," I interrupted, addressing both men as I continued, "Menowin, this is Sebastian Michaelis. He is the butler who serves Lord Phantomhive. Sebastian, this is Menowin and he is a dear friend of mine. He escorted me back from Lady Dalles' residence."

Though both seemed to calm somewhat at my explanation, once they realized neither one was an imminent threat, there was still animosity in their gazes as they eyed one another suspiciously, the air between them seeming to spark with hostile electricity.

"I am grateful for the assistance you provided, Mr. Menowin and I apologize for the inconvenience it may have been for you. Should she had remained at Lady Dalles' as she was instructed, such assistance would not have been necessary," Sebastian said in an unaffected tone, though I could tell from the spark that flashed in his eyes as he stole a quick glance at me that he was livid. As he turned back towards Menowin, his frown deepened, his gaze filled with malice as he added sternly, "However, I shall have to ask you to leave. Your kind is not welcome here."

"Sebastian!" I objected, but Menowin put up a steadying and silencing hand.

"Tis alright, Songbird," he said, though he kept his eyes fixed on Sebastian as he spoke, "I'm a low life compared to someone of his rank. For the moment, I'll have to do as he says."

With that, he turned away from us, his coat swaying in the wind that had begun to stir the air around us as he made his way towards his home.

As soon as he was out of sight, I whipped back around to face Sebastian, my fists clenched and my frown mirroring his own as I did so.

"Your rudeness was uncalled for!" I hissed.

"I do not want to hear you objections." Sebastian cut off, before impatiently gesturing towards the servants stairs, "Inside. Now."

I closed my mouth, hot objection burning my tongue as I obeyed his order, returning his icy glare with one of my own as I passed by him. Neither of is spoke a word as we walked down the steps, however, as soon as Sebastian had unlocked the door and both of us had entered the townhouse, he took up the conversation where it had been left off.

"Why did you not remain at Madame Red's as you were told?" he asked as he locked the door behind him, his even tones warning me of how carefully I would need to proceed.

"I did wait," I answered, my tone soft and submissive as I looked down at the floor, my hands clasped in front of me. Being matter-of-fact would not help me at the moment, "I remained an hour after the time you had given for your arrival."

A tense silence followed my response, followed by his measured footsteps as he approached me, keys clinking as he slipped them into the pocket of his waistcoat.

"So you saw fit, given the nature of your situation, to venture back here alone while night was falling?"

I remained resolutely still, though inwardly I cringed at the challenge of his words. Keeping my gaze to the ground, I ventured to try to explain.

"I know it was not completely safe, but I rang the townhouse four times. I did not know when you would return or what had happened, so I had to make my own choice. I could either remain at Lady Dalles', where, given my situation, I was not much safer than out on the streets, or I could take a risk for a short thirty-minute walk back to the townhouse where I knew I could be protected. I suppose I was fortunate that I had run into Menowin."

At the mention of my friend's name, I heard Sebastian give a sharp intake of air, causing my attention to turn to him. His shoulders bristled as he did not venture to politely disguise his full disapproval of the man.

"You made a foolish choice, one that landed you in the company of someone like _him_ ," he sneered as he continued, "I do not know how you came to know him, but I do not want you venturing to see him ever again. Such a one is truly a low life and should not share association with someone like you."

My hands grasped together more tightly as he seethed out the last word, my composure to remain submissive snapping at the ridicule of my friend.

"Do not speak of what you do not know," I growled, a brief look of surprise flickering across Sebastian's face at the sudden passion of my response, "I owe that man my life. He has done more for me than anyone I know and I shall not tolerate him being spoken of in such a manner."

Any surprise that had been on his face was swept away by burning displeasure at my defense. He straightened his back at the conclusion of my words and gave his waistcoat a firm tug. However, I did not back down in my defiance. There was no way I was going to escape punishment at this point, so I resolved to stand on some form of principal at least.

"My, my. First disobedience, then insolence. I am afraid this will not do. To my office…immediately."

I followed close behind him, my head held high as he escorted me to his office. Given the situation, I did not believe I had done anything wrong. However, I would take my punishment, if only to appease Sebastian.

"Take off your coat," he ordered as we entered the room, which was similarly arranged to his office at the manor, despite how much smaller the room was.

I silently obeyed, Sebastian's gaze intently watching as I slipped the satchel off and setting it in the wooden chair that faced his desk before unbuttoning my coat and draping it over the back of the chair.

"Now come here," he ordered again, a dark satisfaction swirling in his russet orbs at my silent compliance as I came to stand beside where he had stationed himself by his desk.

"Turn and face the desk."

A faint blush tinted my cheeks as I obeyed again, knowing full well what was coming next.

He did not wait long to give the final command, his voice full of teasing authority as he said, "Bend over."

I placed my hands on the desk, bending as requested, my insides twisting in an incongruous mixture of anxiety and anticipation, something in the back of my mind telling me that were I not being legitimately punished at the moment, that this would be rather enjoyable. My flush deepened at the thought. Why was I thinking of such things now?!

"Tsk," he said with a disapproving click of his tongue, "You call that bending? On your elbows."

I could almost see the look of satisfaction on his face as I complied, lowering my torso so I rested my weight on my elbows, my breasts pressed into the wood of the desk, as he loomed above me.

"Now that is a good girl," he purred in my ear, a shiver of anticipation going down my spine as his breath tickled my ear and neck.

The rustling of fabric, followed by the sensation of cooler air touching my legs was the next sound of warning and I focused my gaze on the oil lamp that sat at the opposite corner of the desk as I knew what was coming next. A cacophony of emotions roiled inside of me as I stood so humiliatingly exposed to him: embarrassment, shame, outrage. Though perhaps the most infuriating were the stirrings of arousal the warmed my abdomen…there was a darker part of myself that was actually enjoying this.

"Let this serve as a reminder as to why you should obey me," he warned, righting himself as he gave one final tug of my skirts, exposing my panty covered rear.

I winced, grinding my teeth together as I stifled a cry of pain, my eyes immediately pricking with tears as he brought his hand down on my rear, giving it a sharp, painful smack. Though, as the radiating pain subsided to a dull ache, an aching of a different kind began to build in between my legs. Curse my body! Why was I enjoying this?

"You should know that I am only looking out for your safety," he added, his tone mockingly soft as he dealt another blow, "That is why the next time I tell you to do something, I want you to obey to the letter. Is that understood?"

"Yes," I whispered, my voice a little strained in the aftermath of a third smack.

"What was that?" he prodded, leaning against my back somewhat, his nose teasing the shell of my ear as he purred, "I could not quite make that out."

"Yes!" I gasped loudly as, at the same time I answered, he gave a hard smack to the other side of my rear.

"Yes, _what?_ " He pressed, a gruff edge to his voice exciting me more as he slapped that side again.

"Yes, sir."

A moment later, he removed himself from my prostrate frame, clearing his throat as he stepped around me, taking a seat in his chair that was tucked close to his desk.

"Now, was that so hard?" he asked teasingly, resting his chin on his interlaced fingers, a mocking grin on his face as I remained in my previous position. I did not want to invite any further punishment by moving before instructed.

He chuckled darkly, his eyes glinting wickedly as he continued, "It seems my lesson is already proving effective," he paused, taking a pen in hand as he turned his attention to some paperwork that lay on his desk, "You may leave now. You are to return to your normal duties tomorrow at seven o'clock."

"Yes, sir," I acknowledged, my voice quiet, before I righted myself, making quick work of straightening my skirts before hurriedly scooping up my coat and the satchel and rushing out of his office. I did not want to be in his presence any longer than necessary at the moment.

My heart thudded in my chest, my cheeks still warm from the burning of embarrassment as I quickly ascended the servant's stairs to the floor where our quarters were, acutely aware of the warm slickness that dampened my undergarments. Not for the first time I was thankful today was my day off, which meant I would be able to steal away to my quarters and hide. Hopefully the time alone would give me opportunity to process everything that had happened today, most of all, to determine why, when for more reasons than one, I was furious with Sebastian, that I could not rid him from my mind.

/

I have no reason for why I believed reading some of the books Angelina had lent to me would assist in any of those endeavors. However, once I had changed into my nightgown and coaxed a healthy fire to life in the small fireplace, I found I could not resist the temptation any longer. Which led me to where I was now, my heartbeat pounding in my ears, as I closed the first of the two volumes, my whole body warm with need from what I had just read. I was beginning to understand the phrase "hot and bothered", as I was currently both.

I stole a glance at the small clock that sat on the table beside my bed. It was a few minutes past one. I should have been asleep hours ago, however, I did not find that I was tired in the least, despite how taxing today had been. Rest would not find me whilst I was in such a state.

Once I had accepted this realization, I rose from my bed with a sigh, donning on my night coat, tucking the books back into the satchel before I quietly slipped from my quarters. I did not want to wake Sebastian…I could not face him, not like this. Perhaps a shower would help.

My footsteps fell silently on the cool wood floor as I padded down the hall to the showering room. My anxiety lessened somewhat as I locked the door behind me, making quick work of slipping out of my garments, acutely aware of how…sexual it was being naked now.

I tried, unsuccessfully, to banish those thoughts from my mind, hoping as I stepped underneath the warm stream of water, that the shower would be cleansing in more ways than one. However, as I began to wash my body, every touch, every sensation only served to feed my need. As I passed the flannel between my legs, my abdomen tensed, a thrill of pleasure surging through me at the contact. I clamped my hand over my mouth as an unbidden sigh escaping my lips in response, the flannel falling to the tiled floor with a splash.

I pressed my back against the cool tile, my head leaning back against the wall, my chest heaving as the water continued to spill over my body. My right hand never left my hip as my mind fought back and forth between what I should do. There was a part of my who urged me to stop, insisting that doing this was somehow wrong and that giving in would not serve to satiate my need. However, there was another part, both stronger and louder than the former that insisted that I go ahead. What would it hurt, anyway? No one would know and I needed this release, any release I could find.

My hand finished the debate before I had come to a clear decision, my skin soft and smooth as my fingers trailed down to the apex of my thighs, my fingers exploring the unfamiliar area, quickly learning what felt best. I closed my eyes, biting my lower lip to stifle a moan, my hips bucking against my hand as pleasure swelled within me, my thoughts returning to images from my dream this morning. Why had I not done this sooner? I wondered, my mouth opening in silent pleasure. This was bliss.

/

 _Sebastian's_ _POV_

I stared at the unfinished paperwork in front of me, unable to concentrate on anything else at the moment accept her…and the maddening scent of her arousal setting me on edge. I sat the pen down on my desk before I crushed it in my hand, leaning back in my seat as I loosened my tie, running my hands through my hair for some relief. **What was she still doing up?** I wondered, my gaze momentarily flickering over to the clock that hung over the mantle. It was almost one in the morning.

I had caught the first hints of the scent this morning, a delicious tease. That is what the whole week had been, only adding to the torture I had been forced to endure since the last day we had trained. Despite my best efforts, I had not been able to persuade her to lower her walls as I had the last time I had angered her. It was infuriating, really. What was she trying to prove with her childish ploys? Did she not yet realize that my methods, no matter how severe, were only serving to make her better? If she wanted the respect that she desired from me, she would be more compliant as she had been tonight. Unfortunately for her, such submission was an exception to the rule, which was why I had determined to be as resolute as she had been in her demands and I would refuse her the apology she desired. I wanted to see how long she could last without my companionship.

Her arousal did not help, however. The intoxicating scent had called to me yet again when I was disciplining her and it took every ounce of self control I had not to force her panties down and have my way with her. But I was not a second class demon who would claim their mate so cheaply, nor would I allow her to have the upper hand in our relationship. When the time came for our copulation, it would be I who seduced her, not her who had unwittingly seduced me. Though, I noted with a smirk, I had taken note of how roughly she enjoyed being handled. Yes, she was turning out to be a rather interesting quarry, even though she had managed to remain infuriatingly elusive.

My ears perked as her the door to her room opened, following by the soft padding of her feet as she hurried down the hall. **That is interesting.** I mused as I looked up at the ceiling of my office, my brow qurking inquisitively as I heard the lock of the door clicking as it was turned, followed by the sound of the shower being turned on.

My eyes glowed at the tantalizing thought of the water streaming down her naked, voluptuous body, my arousal, which had been firm since she had retreated from my office hardening at the mental image.

I hummed softly, my eyes closing as I removed my tie, undoing the buttons of my waistcoat and the top few buttons of my shirt as I allowed the image to take a more concrete, more graphic view in my mind. From three floors above, I heard her gasp resound in the tiled room. My eyes snapped open at the sound, noticing how confining my trousers had become. I recognized that sound. She had sighed many times before, but this one was different. It was not a sigh of exhaustion or exasperation, but rather of pleasure…a sound I had not heard come from her since the night I had tended to her wounds in the bathing room.

A wicked smirk teased my lips as my heart thrilled within me. That little minx, was she doing what I thought she was doing? Even on separate floors, I noticed the scent of her arousal intensifying, wafting around me, setting my nerves on fire. A muffled moan a few moments later confirmed my suspicions. She was pleasuring herself.

A groan rumbled in my chest as I slipped my gloves off my hands, my left one rubbing eagerly against the firm length of my erection. **When in Rome.** I thought, focusing on her labored breathing, my own arousal mixing with the scent of hers as I hardened with every mewling whimper and sigh that escaped her lips, spurned on by the mental vision of her full lips parting as the delicious noises of pleasure fell from them. It had been far too long since I had afforded myself such pleasure and I was not about to deny myself now.

The quick rustling of fabric sounded in my ears as I unbuttoned my pants, sighing in anticipation as I coaxed my erection from the confines of my pants. I groaned as I slid my hand down my length, the tip already slick with pre-cum. My hips bucked against my hand as I moaned in response to one of Sarah's, my head leaning back and I closed my eyes as I set a measured pace with my thrusts.

Pleasure mounted unbearably in my groin as, over the next several minutes, my mind was lost to deliciously debauched images as the two of us separately enjoyed our mutual ecstasy, envisioning what would have played out if I had acted on my urges earlier. My breathing became erratic, my thrusts becoming inconsistent as I was nearing my end, though at the same time, it seemed elusive, almost as if I needed an extra push to spurn me over the edge. Gathering by the breathy gasps that were coming from Sarah, she was close as well and was having no such problems finishing.

Another minute later, she let out a cry of ecstasy, signifying her end. I thrust hard into my hand, a loud moan escaping my lips, my back arching as pleasure coursed through my body, no release granted yet.

"Sebastian," she moaned, followed by the slight splashing as she lowered herself to the floor.

The latter sounds were lost to me at the time, as the satisfied way my name fell from her lips was what I needed to send me over the edge, hot white pleasure causing my breath to come out in shuttered gasps as I rode out my orgasm, my warm seed spilling over my fingers as I continued to thrust, prolonging my release as long as I could. My chest heaved as I came down from my high, running my left hand through my hair, my eyes still glowing as a satisfied smirk tugged at my lips.

 **Oh yes,** I thought, **I could not wait to make her mine.**


	19. A Shot in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

Hello, lovelies! First of all, I want to thank you all for your patience while you have been waiting for me to write this chapter. I appreciate you support and patience immensely. And I also apologize for it almost being a month since I last posted, but I have been busy working away at both this fanfic and the AoT one I have started (more news about that later in this note), life has been incredibly busy in general, I had a family emergency come up a couple of weeks ago, and I've been fighting through a nasty case of writer's block. That is why I cannot thank you all enough for your reviews and private messages. Your encouragement and feedback have helped me push through to keep writing this story, when I otherwise might have taken a break.

So, that being said, I wanted to thank everyone who was read, favorited, and followed this story. While your support may be anonymous, it still encourages me to have physical numbers to show me how many people are reading this story. And a big shout out to everyone who left a review for chapter eighteen: **Nevermorea, Ami, Misia0123, Akuma-Sama2002, ThePsychoBeauty, and AnonymousLover.** Your reviews, critiques, and advice are always welcome and appreciated. So thank you for all your support as well.

So I know that in previous A/N's that I had mentioned that I was considering and had begun working on an Attack on Titan fanfic. I had originally intended on waiting until I had a few chapters written for that story before I began posting, but since this chapter took so long before it came to fruition, I decided to go ahead and start posting the story already as an extra thank you for your all's patience. So, I am proud to announce that later on today I will begin posting for my AoT fic, titled "A Threefold Chord". I hope you all enjoy that one as well and cannot wait to hear what you think.

Now that I've taken far too much of your time, I present to you chapter nineteen. Enjoy! ^_^

 **Chapter Nineteen: A Shot in the Dark**

The sounds of the city had slowly died away as twilight gave way to the blanketing darkness of the night, residents choosing the comfort of the warmth and light of their homes to the now frigid temperatures of the winter night. I glanced up towards the sky, my eyes pricking with tears as the icy tendrils of wind sliced over the little bit of exposed skin of my face, trying to use the stars to gage the time. However, my efforts were futile as a heavy cover of clouds that had appeared in the late afternoon had not lifted and now obstructed the light from both the stars and moon. Normally I would bemoan the lack of light, but tonight it served our purposes perfectly, the unusually dark night providing another welcome layer of camouflage.

I huffed, pulling my hood closer around my face as I shuffled on my elbows from where I lay on my stomach, grimacing as my hips rested uncomfortably on the small pebbles that covered the roof. As another gust of wind whistled over the rooftop, I made a mental note to thank Nina for the ingenuity of her design of my suit-the fabric which usually would have been loosely hanging about the neck was now pulled up so that everything from my nose down was completely covered, the only part of my body that was not cloaked in black was my forehead and eyes. Though, despite her efforts to fashion a suit that would provide some protection from the elements, I thought as another violent wave of trembling shook my body, nothing could have been created to ward off the cold for this long. The suit was still impressive in its design.

As was expected from Nina, she had outdone herself yet again, the craftsmanship of this new suit leagues better than the few previous ones she had tailored for me. It was made of a durably tanned leather, the smooth, somewhat soft material dyed a rich midnight black, an extra layer added in tastefully embroidered patches to the higher stressed areas of my elbows, knees, shoulders, armpits, and groin. Instead of having to cover my head with an all encompassing mask of sorts, she had sown on a hood, which had been dyed to match, along with designing the neck of my suit to be loose, allowing me to effectively conceal most of my head, but allowing for more flexibility and ease of removal, should a hurried wardrobe change be required. This also accounted for the corset she had built into the torso. Along with the gloves, ankle high boots, and utility belt and holsters, she had spared no effort in creating an ensemble that was so suited to me, that it was like a second skin. Though, my thoughts quipped, with as snugly as the suit clung to my body, it was like a second skin in more than one way…a fact that had not been lost on Sebastian.

I chuckled softly as I recalled the events from yesterday evening. After working at the hospital for sixteen hours, Angelina had rung and asked if she could rest at Ciel's townhouse in lieu of returning home, since the townhouse was significantly closer to the hospital. The young earl had not denied her request, despite being in a particularly disgruntled mood and she had arrived only ten minutes later, so exhausted that she proceeded to fall asleep on one of the couches in the morning room. She had not risen until about seven in the evening, when Lau and Ran Mao had graced the townhouse with an unexpected call on the Earl Phantomhive. The arrival of the drug lord and his companion proceeded Nina's, who was the only one whose arrival had been previously coordinated, by only a half an hour. When Sebastian had come to retrieve me from the scullery, he informed me of the now small party that had gathered and I, much to my chagrin, quickly came to the conclusion that Nina's suit reveal would no longer be a private affair.

The familiar twist of anxiety and anticipation fluttered in my stomach at the memory of when I had first stepped into the parlor after slipping into my new ensemble. The guests' attention were diverted from my entrance as Sebastian circled about to all of them, serving each a light snack of tea sandwiches and tea instead of a full dinner, given the unexpected arrival of several who were present. A loud clattering of china made me jump as my presence was finally noticed, the light chatter of conversation halting at the sound. My gaze immediately snapped to where the noise had come from to find Ciel gripping onto his teacup and plate so strongly that his knuckles had turned white. His face, however, was a blazing shade of scarlet as his wide eyes stared at me. Behind him stood Sebastian, whose expression would have been fairly unreadable had it not been for the slight smirk that tugged at his lips as his eyes hungrily roamed over my body-my suit leaving little to the imagination. I stood firm underneath his smoldering gaze, doing my best to ignore the warmth of desire that stirred within me from his attention. As I could feel the unmistakable sensation of arousal beginning to build between my legs, his gaze snapped to mine, something in the flickering of the candlelight making his eyes spark with a light of their own for the briefest of moments.

"Oh my. You should wear that outfit more often, my dear," Lau said, his drawling voice shocked me from my distracted stupor.

He chuckled softly, a subtle smile of appreciation teasing his lips from where he reclined on the couch Angelina had been sleeping on earlier. Ran Mao watched me without comment, her golden eyes appraising me as she was sprawled over Lau's lap, seemingly unaware of how sexual of a position they were in.

"What are you going on about?" Angelina mumbled before turning to look around the side of the wing back chair she was sitting in.

A moment later, Nina's head appeared over the top of the chair that sat beside Angelina, her eyes lighting up, both ladies letting out squeals of excitement before forgetting their tea and sandwiches in favor of rushing me, both of them gushing compliments as I was spun about and my suit inspected with great scrutiny. After a good ten minutes of poking, prodding, and tugging from them, the duo came to the same conclusion I had…Nina had truly outdone herself.

I shook the memory from my mind, an exhausted sigh escaping my lips as, for the seventh time, I double checked the connections of my mobility gear in an overly diligent effort to ensure it would be ready for use should the moment come when it was needed. This was the part of the job that I had been dreading the most…the waiting. It had been five hours since I had snuck onto the roof of the residence that was positioned to the right of Baron Amesworth's abode. Five agonizing hours of waiting which had been filled with nothing but double and triple checking my rifle, adjusting my body in vain attempts to keep from becoming too sore and stiff from remaining on my stomach for so long, and unsuccessfully trying to ward off the cold that seeped into my very bones as the temperature continued to drop with every passing hour, my only distraction that of my own thoughts.

Flexing my fingers to keep them from growing too stiff, I dared to rise up on my knees, the gravel crunching underneath the change in weight as I retrieved a pair of binoculars from the belt about my waist. The cool metal stung my skin as I brought the binoculars up to my eyes and sunk down as far as the raised border of the edge of the roof would allow. Much to my disappointment, everything appeared to be as it was when I had checked about five minutes prior. I had forgotten how painstakingly long these sordid affairs could be.

Though Ciel and Sebastian had arrived around time for an afternoon tea, Lord Amesworth had invited him to remain until after dinner under the pretense that he felt their discussions on their potential philanthropic efforts would take longer than an afternoon tea would allow. Such a suggestion may have seemed harmless on the surface, however, the state of the servants who tended to the two lords and the household revealed the truth of the situation. To the untrained eye nothing would have appeared to be out of sorts with the servants but I knew the tell tale signs of concealed handguns, even at this distance. The extent of Lord Amesworth's knowledge about the nature of Ciel's visit was unclear, but it was obvious that the Baron did not trust the little Earl. That made him dangerous.

I had warned Sebastian of such when he had snuck away to relay the news of the unexpectedly prolonged stay. He had not been pleased to hear the information, his expression souring immediately as the words had been spoken. He did seem to be impressed with my assessment, though, especially since I had spotted it from such a distance. The corner of my mouth lifted at the encouraging thought. The unspoken look of pride and approval I had seen in his eyes at my assessment of the situation was the first glimmer of hope for our friendship that I had seen in a week and a half and the prospect had sent a longing thrill through me. In truth, I did not want to fight with Sebastian. Though I did not know the full extent of my feelings, I knew that I loved him in some capacity and desired for this disagreement to end. As more time passed, I found myself yearning to return to our daily night caps and sharing together in the duties as we tended to Ciel and his estate and, despite the physical pain it brought to me, I had even come to miss our training. However, my chance reuniting with Menowin and subsequent visits with him had bolstered my resolve on the matter; his warmth, care, and companionship a reminder of what friendship could be. **Yes.** I thought, a gloved hand coming to rest over where I felt the necklace charm resting against my breastbone-a "good luck" gift from Menowin. **Sebastian could learn a lot from him.**

As I continued to survey the grounds of Lord Amesworth's property, a flicker of movement in the peripheral view of the binoculars caught my attention. I turned toward the movement to find Sebastian standing by the window in the kitchen as he placed the necessary items for an after dinner drink on an ornate silver platter. He glanced up at me, never moving his head as he began tapping the crystal stopper of the decanter. To anyone who might have been in the kitchen with him, it would have appeared that he was not doing anything out of the ordinary, simply assisting with the duties about the great house. However, it became apparent as he tapped out the message again, his gaze never wavering from me, that he was conveying something of importance.

 **Thank goodness.** I thought, heaving an inward sigh as, on his third attempt, I was finally able to translate the entirety of the message. _Dinner concluded. Heading to study soon._ After tapping out a message in return, confirming I had understood his, Sebastian had picked up the platter and disappeared from sight.

"About time," I mumbled, lowering myself to my previous position, readjusting the mount of the rifle stand before I settled completely.

Granted, the change of rooms did not necessarily dictate that the events of the evening were going to be concluded any time soon-with how things had transpired so far this evening, I could be waiting another five hours before we could return to the townhouse-but it was a promising start. I hummed softly to myself, a faint smile on my lips as I imagined how tantalizingly close I was to a nice, warm shower where I could let the heat from the water loosen my stiff muscles and wash away the ice that had seeped into the very core of my body. Perhaps I could even manage a little reward for all of my discomfort as well, I thought, my cheeks warming at the memory of what I had done in the shower two nights ago…and last night as well.

Images from the first night I had managed to climax were burnt in my mind. I remembered how, after I had come down from my high, I had remained lying on the cool tiled floor of the shower, my lips parted and chest heaving as I tried to regain my breath, my cheeks sporting a healthy flush. As the warm water continued to rain down on my body, a swirling cacophony of emotions surged through me: surprise at my actions and their success, guilt at having done something less accepting minds would call lecherous, relaxed as all of the tension that had been building up within me for the past several months had been released-a calm settling into my body that had even carried through to today. But the overwhelming feeling that had surpassed all of those was that, for the first time in months, I was in control. What I had allowed myself to enjoy that night had not come from the instruction of Sebastian, the command of Ciel, or the coercion of the mysterious Father. It had been borne out of and executed through my desire alone and, as odd as it may have been to think of such actions in such a manner, it had been liberating.

I frowned in frustration at how easily distracted my thoughts were becoming as I shuffled my hips, trying to abate the acute warmth of anticipation that had begun to build between my legs as I attempted to remain focused on the matter at hand. Such things could wait until later. The mission always came before desire.

Closing my left eye, I squinted as I looked through the scope, the activities of the great house magnified through the powerful lens. On the first level of the house, Ciel and Lord Amesworth had just risen from the dining table, the latter giving his portly stomach a satisfied rub as he laughed heartily at whatever the Earl had just said. Ciel's expression was an all too familiar mask of cordial amusement, though it would have been clear to anyone who had been around him enough that his night was going as dismally as mine had so far. With any luck, Sebastian would reappear with the signal that he had acquired the documents and we could all return to the townhouse without event. I halted my thoughts there, not wanting to jinx the operation with my premature positivity.

My gaze followed them as they made their leave of the dining room, disappearing from sight as they stepped out into the hallway. I had about forty seconds or so until they would reappear in my line of sight. Since the staircase which led to the upper floor was obstructed from my view, I took the available time to try to locate Sebastian's whereabouts. The butler had not been present in the dining room and his absence worried me. Surely he had been able to locate the letters by now. Anxiety knotted uncomfortably in my stomach with each passing second as there continued to be no sign of the butler. Where was he?

I growled in frustration as Ciel and Lord Amesworth appeared once more in my sight. It was going to be difficult to monitor Ciel's situation, more or less worry about what had happened to Sebastian. **Never mind him.** I reminded myself, my brow furrowing with concentration as I watched the two gentlemen leisurely make their way down the long hallway which led to the study that lay at the back of the house, close to where I was stationed. From my perch, I had a decent view into the study. However, with the positioning of the window and the angle of the two houses, I would not be able to repel directly into the study should I need to intervene, but rather aim for the hallway. It was not ideal, but it would have to do.

As they neared the study, Lord Amesworth paused, gesturing to something I could not see. A painting, perhaps? That was the best guess I could reason from the angle and direction he was pointing. Ciel paused mid-step before turning and joining the lord with feigned interest, nodding occasionally as the latter gestured enthusiastically. As I watched the child earl listen with patience to Lord Amesworth, I had to admire him for his ability to keep up this charade. It would seem that being the Queen's guard dog suited him better than I had given him credit for. Despite his age, he carried the title of Earl well.

A few moments later, Lord Amesworth had apparently concluded his tale, as he abruptly turned and continued to proceed towards their original destination. However, as he did so, my blood ran cold as I made out the faint impression of a revolver against his suit jacket along his right hip. Why had he armed himself when he was in his own house? Had we been found out? Perhaps Sebastian had been discovered and had divulged the whole of the mission? My frown deepened, bringing the sight closer to my eye as I shoved those thoughts from my mind. I would be of no help to Sebastian nor Ciel if I worked myself up with worry, no matter the situation. Besides, even if Sebastian had been discovered, there was one thing I knew for sure, and that was that he would offer himself up in death before betraying his master.

It was as this thought crossed through my mind, that Lord Amesworth's gaze left the little earl who passed into the study before him to snap to where I was crouched. As his flinty grey eyes seemed to lock onto my gaze, my breath caught in my chest, not daring to move a muscle as my heartbeat thundered like a timpani drum in my ears. **No.** I thought in disbelief. **Surely he couldn't know.** Whether or not he had seen me or knew of my presence, I did not know. The look in his eyes did not give away any sort of spark of recognition and soon, just a few seconds later, he turned and entered the study behind Ciel.

I let out a sigh as the door was closed behind them, subconsciously rubbing my right side as I unsuccessfully tried to ease the anxiety that knotted my stomach. My breath whistled through my nose as I took a deep breath, unease mounting with each passing second. I had seen enough from my perch to know that the Baron was not to be trusted with a private audience with Ciel and, with Sebastian nowhere to be found, I had been placed in the precarious situation of having to determine when I should intervene. This mission was quickly beginning to spiral out of control.

"It would be so much easier if I could kill him if needed," I muttered underneath my breath as I fixed the rifle's sight on the back of Lord Amesworth's head, refusing to take my eyes off the two lords. However, I would not have that luxury, even if the situation called for such action. Ciel had explicitly ordered both Sebastian and I that Lord Amesworth was to be kept alive at all costs in order to let Her Majesty to execute the justice she desired. The Queen was not someone to be disobeyed.

Minutes passed as I continued to observe the unfolding exchange, my stomach and limbs taut, ready to spring into action at a moment's notice. I would do everything in my power to protect Ciel, even if it meant laying down my own life. If I wasn't willing to do so, I would not be worthy of my title as a Phantomhive servant. The only consolation I could find while I was restricted to watching the scene before me was that no sign of alarm had come to Ciel's face. Though, I noted as I stole another glance to the Baron, the tense unease that stiffened his shoulders was concerning. I wondered what was on Lord Amesworth's mind that would cause him to be so visibly on edge, my right index finger itching to rest on the trigger as he gave an animated gesture when, in the peripheral view of my vision, something moved to my left.

I spared a quick glance away from the study to see an elderly man, Lord Amesworth's butler, making his way down the hallway, carrying the tray Sebastian had prepared earlier. Any question that had begun to form in my mind was swept away as five other servants rounded the corner, trailing behind the butler, each of them armed with a rifle. My eyes widened and I returned my attention to the study and ground my teeth together as I saw that the Baron had risen from his seat and was exaggeratedly brandishing the revolver I had spotted earlier.

"It is a shame I cannot kill you," I mumbled, disengaging the safety on the trigger of my maneuvering gear, before resting my finger on the trigger of the rifle, a smirk teasing my lips, "However, Ciel never said I could not shoot you."

The piercing ringing of gun fire rang through the quiet of the night, followed almost immediately by the shattering crash of glass as the bullet broke the window of the study. I did not have the luxury of getting to relish in the sight of hitting my target as I immediately had to duck behind the cover of the ledge of the roof, though the deep voiced, strangled cries that rose through the shattered window was evidence enough that I had been successful.

An irrepressible smile of satisfaction spread across my lips as Lord Amesworth's cries continued and I made out something that sounded like, "What did you do, you bastard? I can't move!"

 **Excellent.** I thought, making quick work of disassembling my rifle and stashing it in a satchel before strapping it snugly over my back. My shot had been effective. In accordance with Ciel's order, I had not taken Lord Amesworth's life, but I did the next best thing by resigning him to a life as a quadriplegic.

My silent celebration was short lived as the sound of shattering glass echoed against the two great houses, quickly followed by the explosions of returning gun fire. I wrapped my arms around my knees and pulled them close to my chest and rested my forehead against my knees to protect my eyes as shards of stone broke off from where the bullets grazed over the stone ledge. I grit my teeth as a somewhat sizable piece broke off and struck the back of my head. That was going to hurt later. My ears perked as the reverberations of the shots ceased, on my feet a second later. This was my only chance.

I didn't allow myself time to consider the danger of what I was about to do. My eyes were firmly focused on the servants who were busy reloading their rifles as I sprinted down the length of the roof to where the hallway began. It was not the most ideal position from which I could protect Ciel, but it would allow me some sort of cover from the servants who could currently be accounted for, though I knew more would probably be joining us soon. Without hesitating, I climbed onto the ledge and pulled the left trigger of the maneuvering gear, the familiar ringing of metal and whine of the woven metal chord sounding a moment before I was pulled off the roof. The wind howled in my ears, causing my hood to slip off my head and made my eyes water as I swung towards the window, the frigid night air cutting through me and, with a hard tug, I disengaged the wire for my left arm just a moment before I slammed into the glass, the force of my impact shattering it completely.

Shouts of surprise were followed by swift, heavy footsteps as I rolled to break my fall. A gasp of pain fell from my lips as I misjudged my last roll and my back struck the corner of the wall with the full force of my entrance, knocking the wind out of me. Tears pricked my eyes as I struggled to my feet, my lungs begging for air, but I did not have time to rest-three of the five servants were already rushing me.

Instinctively, I reached for the guns at my waist as the largest of the group charged at me, giving a guttural cry as he barreled forward, but there was no time to properly draw my weapon. As my muscles tightened, my knees bending slightly, Sebastian's smooth, even voice called from the back of my mind.

"Since there are few women who operate on their own within the Underworld, you will need to be prepared for the inevitability of the fact that you will most likely be fighting against men who are superior to you in both strength and size. The one thing you will have to your advantage is your agility. Now, should you find yourself being rushed by an aggressor, you will need to step to the side."

As if in response to my memory's instructions, as the servant reached out to me, just arms length from his grasp, I shifted to the left, sidestepping the bulky man.

"Strike to a weak area."

A wheezing cry escaped his lips as I brought my knee up to his groin with all of my strength, causing him to fall to his knees, his face contorted with pain.

"And incapacitate."

Before he had time to recover, I turned and, with a swift strike, I gave a harsh jab to the back of his neck with my elbow. He gave a quiet "oof" as I struck a moment before his unconscious, muscular form fell to the floor with a loud thud. Even with the swell of pride that grew within my chest, I had no time to fully appreciate my victory for, as I turned to assess the situation, I found my next assailant was already upon me.

I barely evaded his fist as he swung out to strike me, being forced to take a few steps back to maintain some distance as I tried to size him up. This man was taller and leaner than the first servant, similarly proportioned to Sebastian, which was to my advantage in some small way, as I was most familiar with sparring with the butler. But whatever advantage there might have been was eliminated as he swiftly closed the distance between us, landing a punch to my ribs before I had a chance to properly defend myself.

A pained breath hissed through my teeth as I swore, my left side throbbing from the impact. **Push through the pain.** I reminded myself, steadying myself on my feet, doing my best to prepare myself for his next attack, this servant much faster on his feet than his fellow comrade.

As expected, he wasted no time in springing at me yet again, his right hand swinging to strike another blow to my side. However, I was prepared to answer his attack this time and swung out my left arm in answer, my forearm screaming in protest as it blocked his intended blow. I would be nursing some deep bruises later. Before he had time to offer a counter attack, I brought my right fist up, thrusting upward with a quick movement, my knuckles crashing into his Adam's apple. He sputtered, reflexively reaching up to clutch at his throat with his right hand, momentarily frozen, his throat spasming in response to the blow. Luckily for me, a moment was all I needed.

A sudden flash of movement caught my attention in one of the only intact windows as the third servant rushed up behind the one I was currently facing, trying to catch me by surprise. However, such an approach would not be in his favor as I thrust my leg upward, my foot striking the other servant's stomach and he issued a strangled cry as my kick not only injured him, but forced him backwards. He stumbled back a few steps, his left hand gripping his shirt over where I had struck him, a moment before he tripped over his unconscious comrade and fell to the floor, knocking the approaching servant to the floor as well.

"Perfect," I whispered, finally having a moment to pull the guns from my waist, a slight sense of comfort calming my nerves as I registered the familiar weight of the weapons in my hand.

I flinched as the unexpected thundering of gunfire rang through the hall, shards from the bust that sat perfectly positioned on a display to my left striking my face and cutting my cheeks as several pieces flew into the air from the bullets that had struck it.

"Bullocks," I hissed, ducking behind the bust's display for some cover. The other two armed servants had obviously had the time to reload their rifles and were leading the assault without hesitation, having more sense than their other three comrades.

I was unable to wait for a break in the gunfire like I had before and was forced to crouch on one knee as I peeked around the edge of the display, growling in frustration as I realized the two remaining servants stood out of range, huddling close to the aged butler, who had fallen to the floor in surprise at the attack and was struggling to get himself back on his feet. What rotten luck. They had forced my hand, but I had to take a chance if I was going to try to get to Ciel before reinforcements arrived.

Groans to my right drew my attention to the others, as they had finally untangled themselves from each other and were preparing to rise and attempt a second assault. As the one who I had not fought with looked over towards me, his eyes widened, color draining from his face as, without hesitating, I raised my gun and shot him between his eyes.

"Thomas!" the other servant cried, eyes wide with horror as his comrade fell to the floor with a sickening thud.

"You-!" he began, turning towards me, his eyes burning with rage, but was cut off by the deafening ringing on my gun as he too met the same fate.

For good measure I shot the other servant who remained unconscious in the back of the head. I could not risk him rousing and becoming a problem.

During all of this, the assault from the other two never ceased, they apparently had the sense to reload more than just their weapons while the others had kept me occupied…just my luck. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes momentarily as I calmed my nerves, doing what I could to suppress all of my instincts for survival. Despite my mind shouting at me that I should not do so, I holstered both guns, snapping the straps which secured them in their respective holsters into place with an ominous click. I could not afford to hesitate now.

 **Go.** I commanded my body, forcing myself to shoot to my feet. A cry from down the hall indicated that I had been spotted, a fresh wave of bullets flying towards me in response to my emergence.

"Hurry up, men! We need to get to his lordship!" a voice yelled from behind me.

 **Great.** My thoughts growled, the eminent arrival of more men spurring me into action. Without another thought, I sprinted forward, doing what I could to vary my movements in an attempt to evade their bullets and to make myself harder to shoot. One major disadvantage was that I would not be able to shoot while moving like this, which I desperately needed to do.

"My lord!" the butler gave in a strangled cry, finally having risen to his feet.

He approached the study on unsteady feet, his aged hands reaching towards the door as he rushed to check on his master. I frowned, my eyes never leaving the elderly man, urging my legs to work faster with every step he took toward the study. I knew the butler was unarmed, however, I did not know what he would be capable of in the defense of Lord Amesworth and I wasn't willing to risk Ciel's wellbeing, no matter how incapable the aged man may have appeared. I had seen Tanaka fight enough to know that, until someone proved themselves to not be a threat, one could not assume.

A cry of agony ripped up my throat as a burning, piercing pain shot through my right shoulder as one of the bullets the servants shot lodged in my flesh. I stumbled forward, somehow able to maintain my footing. With an outraged growl, I grit my teeth and pressed forward with more urgency, clutching my wounded shoulder with my left hand, able to feel the warmth of my blood against the palm of my hand, even through the glove.

"Bloody hell, she's still coming!" the servant to my left yelled in exasperation, panic clear in his voice as he and his comrade were once again forced to reload.

 **Of course** , I thought as I did not hesitate in my approach, **A Phantomhive servant who cannot defend their master when they have a simple gunshot wound is not worth their salt.**

I smirked, and, ignoring the screaming protest from my injured shoulder, I reached and withdrew a couple throwing stars from the pouches on my thighs-a gift from Lau. The duo stared at me in wide-eyed panic as I was less than a meter from them now, my smirk widening into a slightly maniacal smile at the anticipation of what I was about to do. With a flick of each wrist, I sent the stars flying, the deathly sharp blades spinning through the air just moments before finding their mark, imbedding deep into the servants' throats. Both men fell to their knees, gurgling gasps of breath hissing from their throats, bloody bubbles appearing from the entry wounds, which had already begun to seep generous amounts of blood.

As I reached the duo, I pulled out a pair of knives, delivering the last, deadly blows in one swift movement, issuing a growl of pain as I plunged a blade deep into each of their chests. They both fell away from me, falling back, their legs contorted in grotesque angles as they looked up at me, the light of life quickly dimming in their eyes. The rumbling of many footsteps came from behind me and I knew I had no more time to spare.

I turned to make quick work of the elderly butler, however, as I was turning, another gunshot rang out, causing me to jump at the unexpected sound. The butler crumpled to the floor in front of me, his blue eyes cold and lifeless as he gazed up at me with unseeing eyes. My gaze shot up to where the shot had originated, my eyes widening as I looked into the study, my shocked stare met with Ciel's cerulean gaze. His body trembled, ragged breaths coming from his open mouth as he continued to stare in shock, the gun he held in his hands shaking uncontrollably.

"There they are!"

The cry that came from behind me shocked me from my stupor and, before I could register what I was doing, I ran the short distance from where I stood to Ciel, pushing the little earl further into the room and slammed the door shut. Lord Amesworth lay, face down on the floor, seeming to have passed out from the pain from where I had shot him earlier.

"What are you doing?!" Ciel cried in surprise as I grabbed his wrist with my good arm, my right arm now completely useless, and tugged him towards the window.

As if to answer his question, another round of gunfire sounded, bullets making easy work of piercing the thick wood of the door.

I glanced back at him as I continued to pull him behind me, his feet stumbling as he struggled to keep up with my strides.

"We have to get out of here."

Shards of glass ground and snapped underneath our feet as I stepped onto the desk that sat in front of the broken window, pulling Ciel up behind me, steadying his trembling frame as my eyes scanned the surrounding area to find the best place to repel.

"Where is Sebastian?!" he demanded.

I did not answer him at first, too focused on the matter at hand to be distracted by his questions. At my silence, Ciel stepped in front of me, crossing his arms as his brow furrowed with disapproval.

"I asked you a question, Sarah. Where is Sebastian?"

Each word of his repeated question was spoken with intentional emphasis as if to make his displeasure clear. Of all the moments for him the pull his rank, why did it have to be now?

I heaved a heavy sigh at his persistence, doing all I could not to roll my eyes as his dramatics as I answered curtly, "I do not know. I have not seen him for some time."

I did not give him time to press the issue further, the loud, swift stomps of footsteps coming from both down the hall as the gunfire continued to work away at the door, which was the only thing separating us from the second wave of defense and also coming from somewhere behind the far wall of the study. There must have been a servant's entrance tucked away behind a painting or bookshelf. Instead, I held open my arms and signaled for him to climb into my arms.

"Come now, I need to pick you up. I need you to wrap your legs about my waist and your arms around my neck as tightly as you can so I can attempt to use this gear as best I can."

"What?!" he exclaimed but did not move, his face flushing a brilliant crimson that rivaled the blush I had prompted from him yesterday, as he added with a stammering voice, "You…you want me to do what?"

With a final crash, the door to the study gave way, some of the men who approached giving a cry of joy as the barrier was now gone.

"Really, _my lord_ ," I growled, not having the patience to wait for permission from him, jerking him gruffly into me, guiding his arms and legs to where they needed to be, "now is not the time for modesty."

I stepped onto the ledge, struggling with every ounce of my strength to aim the maneuvering gear with my trembling hand, every movement of my injured shoulder sending shooting pain through the joint.

"Hold on tight," was the only warning I gave before I pulled the trigger of the maneuvering gear.

At the metallic sounds, Ciel gripped my body with all of the strength his frail frame could muster. I hoped it would be enough. With my injuries, I did not think I had the strength to save him should he slip. As we were hurled from the window ledge, I screamed as the pain that the force of the gear had on my right shoulder radiated through the whole right side of my body, my arm feeling as if it was going to be ripped from my body.

I tried to disengage the wire as we reached the part of the arc where I needed to if we were going to land safely. However, I was so blinded by the searing pain that my tug at the wire was too weak and we swung forward in the arc, the wire straining and creaking under the force of our movement. Over the howling of the wind in my ears, I heard the ominous snap of the wire a moment before the sickening pit in my stomach warned me that we were now free falling. I protectively pulled Ciel against my body, doing whatever I could to protect him from the impact of the fall.

In vain, I attempted to rotate my body to try to give myself the possibility of rolling properly, however, with Ciel's weight throwing off my center of gravity, I was only able to complete a partial rotation, slamming into the ground with full force with my back. My vision went white for a moment as my head struck the unforgiving ground.

In the distance, I heard a man's voice echo across the lawn of the neighboring house, "Hurry! They're down there. Don't let them get away!"

My eyes blinked unseeingly, my vision completely blurred as I tried to fight the sudden, overwhelming feeling that I wanted to close my eyes. I gasped, wheezing as I tried to regain my breath, which had been knocked out of me for the second time this evening.

"Sarah!" Ciel cried, but his voice seemed far away. Our hold on each other had been broken on impact, so he must have been propelled further away from me.

I frowned, my eyes closing, too heavy to stay open, when something small and cold pelted my face, the ringing of gunfire ricocheting in my head.

"Sarah!" he yelled again.

A sharp pain to my cheek gave me the shock I needed to be able to open my eyes, my vision clearing enough to make out Ciel's form. With a few more overly enthusiastic blinks, more of my vision returned, though it was still fairly blurry, but it was good enough to navigate the well lit streets of this neighborhood.

"Can you move?" Ciel's small voice questioned, and, as I gazed up at him, my heart jerked painfully at how his visage twisted in concern. At this moment I was not looking at the Earl of Phantomhive, Guard Dog of the Queen, but rather Ciel Phantomhive.

I did my best to offer a reassuring smile, it faltering into a grimace as I rose to sit, my head throbbing at the movement.

"Yeah," I weakly assured him, my gaze skimming over the divets that had been formed on the lawn of the neighboring house from the gunfire that had been aimed towards us. That's what the strange sensation had been…it had been dirt flying onto my face.

"Are you alright?" I wheezed, finally able to regain my breath enough to rise shakily to my feet.

Ciel cast me a look of determination, despite his haggard appearance, and nodded once.

"Well then," I began, my ears perking as the sound of hurried footsteps from along the cobblestone path between the two great houses reverberated off the buildings, "Follow me. And run like your life depends on it."

At my word, we both sprinted across the grounds as quickly as our legs would carry us, both of us tripping and stumbling as our unsteady feet attempted to carry us from danger. By some fortunate miracle, we made it across the grounds, slipping through the fence before running down the backstreet of the neighborhood. It had been a wise idea to have Menowin show me the proper path to weave through the great houses before we had come on this mission.

"They're heading towards the bridge!" someone shouted from behind us.

I grit my teeth as I gave a grumble of frustration at the revelation that our path had been discovered and at the persistence of our pursuers.

"Sarah!" Ciel gasped.

I halted at his cry, turning on my heel to see that he had propped himself against the building to our right, his hands on his knees as he leaned forward, his petit chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. Without needing to be told, I rushed back to him and pulled him into my arms once more, grimacing as I spurned myself onward despite every fibre of my being screaming that I was completely spent. I couldn't give up. Not yet.

The next several minutes of our flight was filled with nothing but the sounds of my boots against the stone alleys, Ciel and I's labored breathing, and the occasional gunshot-one benefit of navigating the alleys was that they were often too narrow to allow for a decent shot. Though I did not let the lack of outright assault fool me, the prickling of the back of my neck warning me that we were still being pursued.

"There's the bridge," I sighed with relief, my breath billowing from my lips from the effort as I adjusted my hold on Ciel.

If I could only make it across the bridge, it would be easy to blend into the crowds that would still be out in the brewery district. If we could make it there, we had a fighting chance to be able to hide, hopefully long enough for Sebastian to rejoin us. From there, I didn't know. But at the moment, getting across the large bridge that spanned over the river Thames alive was the only thing that mattered.

Unfortunately, in order to do so meant that we would have to abandon the safety of the cover of the surrounding building, a fact that was not lost on our enemy as well for as soon as we cleared the edge of the last building, six men swarmed towards us, three on each side. To my surprise, despite having to carry Ciel, I was able to outrun the men just enough to not be caught by their trap. The only explanation I had for my renewed sense of energy despite my wounds and total exhaustion was that my body forced me forward under the sheer will to survive. I stumbled at the slight change of elevation as I crossed onto the bridge, lurching forward, but, after a few awkward and somewhat painful steps, I was able to regain my footing and continued to race ahead, our six pursuers close behind us.

"We're getting close," I breathed, hope lifting my heart as the other side of the bridge came to view.

My hope was squelched as soon as it had sprung with me as I saw swiftly approaching from the other side of the bridge, another group of six men appeared. I came to a sudden stop, my mind racing as I tried to figure out what I was to do. We were trapped. Any minute now, both parties would be close enough to us to be able to halt and open fire on us…and then we would be dead.

As my gaze came to the ornate stone railing of the bridge, I realized there was only one option. It would still probably mean our deaths, but, in my mind it was better to die by your own choice than having your life stolen from you by someone else. So, before I could second guess my decision, I sprinted over to the side of the bridge before setting Ciel on the ledge of the railing.

"What are you doing?"

"You have to stand," I explained breathlessly, prodding him to try to get him to rise to his feet, "You have to jump."

"You must be mad! I cannot swim." He objected, his face twisting with incredulous disapproval.

"I know," I breathed, grunting as I pulled myself onto the ledge as well, standing beside the still sitting child, my chest heaving with my labored breathing. Through all the pain and hesitancy I had about my plan, I gave him the most reassuring smile I could, as I added, "But it's the only chance we have."

"Stop them!" someone cried from the group approaching from the left.

"They're going to jump!" someone added from the group to the right.

A couple of the men halted, lowering to one knee as they readied their rifles to open fire as their comrades continued to close the distance to us on foot.

"Tell me, Ciel," I said, my voice surprisingly steady as my gaze never wavered from our enemies, "would you rather face the inevitability of your death by someone else's hand or would you rather have a say in your own fate?"

I dared to spare a glance at the boy sitting next to me, startled by the fire that sparked in his cerulean gaze.

"I will always be the master of my own fate."

I nodded in agreement, extending my good hand to him, a proud smile lighting my blood splattered face.

"Then jump, my lord."

With a tug, I pulled him to his feet and was about to leap from the railing with him when I heard a rifle cock to my right. My attention snapped to where the sound had originated from just in time to see one of the men taking aim at Ciel. All time seemed to slow in that moment. Ciel turned to look at me, his eyes wide with fear. The piercing ring of gunfire sounded, issuing a flash of light and smoke as the bullet was launched from the rifle.

"Sebas-!" Ciel began, but his cry was cut short as I shoved him backwards off the ledge to plummet to the frigid water below with a splash.

For the second time tonight, the burning pain of a bullet piercing my body ripped a cry of agony from me, this time the bullet piercing clean through my abdomen as I stepped in the pathway of the projectile in order to prevent Ciel from being struck. The force of the blow, combined with the already unsteady footing I had on the railing was enough to knock me backwards and a moment after being shot, I found myself careening headfirst towards the dark water.

I started with shock as the icy current of the Thames quickly engulfed me. Reflexively, I gasped at the sudden cold, my lungs quickly filling with water. **This was it.** I thought with panic as my arms stiffly struggled to carry me back to the surface, my chest burning with pain, but both of my wounds prevented me from swimming properly. With each passing second, my body heat and my ability to move was sucked from me until I was rendered motionless. I cast one last glance up towards the lights that swam tauntingly above me, their light becoming increasingly dim as I was pulled further away from the surface, descending into the depths of the river. **This was it.** My mind repeated as my vision went black. **I was going to die.**


	20. His Butler: Desperate

**Author's Note:**

Hello, lovelies! I am back. I am so terribly sorry for being away so long! The past two months have been extremely busy and haven't provided me with much time to write: work writing projects, the quarterly busy period at work, and taking my first trip abroad kept me very busy. (A quick shout out to any of my readers who are from Ireland. Ireland was where I went for my trip and I had such a marvelous time! Your country is breathtakingly beautiful and the people are so kind and friendly.) But despite all that, I am sorry for making you all wait for this chapter.

So thank you all for being so patient while I have been working on this. As always, thank you to everyone who is reading this story and has followed and favorited it. And a special thank you to everyone who left a review: **AnonymousLover, Fifi, Mira Black-Snape, Aservis Roturier, , Misia0123, madhatteryamaha, kurayamitenshi25, another reviewer, ruinedsandwich, KNIG, pupstarstar, Adripadher, Chameleon Cakes, and the Guest reviewers.** Your feedback helped to keep me motivated and encouraged me to keep going, so thank you all so much! I apologize if I didn't respond to your review directly. I like to try to, but I have been so busy I've lost track. Just know that whether or not I did, that I truly appreciate your support and feedback.

Also, look for another note from me at the end of this chapter.

So, without further ado, I give you chapter twenty! I hope you enjoy! ^_^

 **Chapter Twenty: His Butler, Desperate**

Haggard, desperate, wet coughs rang off the walls of the narrow culvert, my throat and abdomen burning as I continued to heave, an unpleasant mixture of water and mucus splashing against the floor with every straining cough. The quiet lapping of water against the cold stone of the culvert was in stark contrast to the disgusting sounds that came from my throat as I eagerly tried to gulp down as much oxygen as I could. The air that filled my aching lungs was welcome, but it made my head spin and, as the heaving coughs began to subside, it took all I could to hold myself up from where I crouched on my hands and knees. As I tried to focus my thoughts, I stared intensely at the faint outline of my gloved hands, but it was no use. I was in such pain that my thoughts refused to focus.

"Sarah?" a soft voice whispered in my ear and I started, not having realized that Sebastian was behind me.

I blinked several times in an effort to clear my thoughts, my breath raspy as I had a temporary reprieve from the coughs that had caused my whole body to seize.

"Sarah, how do you feel?" Sebastian's voice questioned, concern tinting his voice as his soft breath tickled my ear.

An unbidden groan escaped my lips as I began to register the throbbing pain that radiated from the back of my head, along with the deep burning from my abdomen and shoulder. Without thinking, I raised my hand to touch the back of my head, disturbing what little balance I had and I pitched suddenly to the side. I did not even have the strength to brace myself, save to close my eyes. However, a moment later I opened my eyes to find that I had not fallen from the narrow ledge, but rather, Sebastian held my shuddering frame against his, his strong arms wrapped about my torso to prevent further injury to myself.

"I will take that as your answer," he mumbled darkly before adding, "Where have you been injured?"

"My head," I replied, though my response seemed too soft and too slow to my ears, "And I was shot…they hit my right shoulder…and my stomach."

From behind me I heard Sebastian growl in displeasure at my answer followed by a quiet, "Damn it all."

Without warning, he turned me in his arms so that I faced him somewhat, his left arm coming to support my head, my legs effortlessly hooked over his right arm. The sudden movement aggravated all my wounds, a pained cry coming from my lips as a fresh wave of acute pain washed over my body.

"I am sorry," Sebastian apologized as I glared up at him, my eyes pricking with tears, "But I am afraid that was unavoidable. It is best that I carry you this way."

My head lulled against his chest, unable to hold it still as he slowly rose to his feet. I did not mind, though, I thought as he gave me a slight squeeze with his arms, my eyes closing as my vision continued to fluctuate in and out of focus. His warmth was pleasant and as I took deep breaths of his scent, I noticed the tremors that shook my body lessened somewhat and my breathing slowed to closer to normal, his presence seeming to have a cathartic affect. **It is either that** , my thoughts chimed in sardonically, **or it is the blood loss.**

As we approached the mouth of the culvert, Sebastian heaved a sigh before he mumbled, "Excellent, now these shoes will need to be polished again. Honestly, how you and the young lord manage to get yourself into these sort of predicaments is quite beyond me."

I ground my teeth at his comment, a cutting remark on my tongue as annoyance weakly flared within my exhausted body.

"Wait!" I exclaimed, my eyes flying open as I realized I had not heard what had become of Ciel. I turned to look up at Sebastian, whose face was lit by the soft light given off by the dying lanterns along the walkway above.

"Ciel, is he alright? Is he hurt?"

Sebastian closed his eyes, giving a brief nod of acknowledgement, his expression calmly neutral.

"His lordship is resting comfortably. I expect him to make a full recovery soon."

"Where is he? Can I see him?" I grasped Sebastian's waistcoat feebly despite my urgency, my movements looking like nothing more than half hearted efforts to clamor at the garment.

He tilted his head to the side, inclining his head towards me, his gaze indicating I should halt my actions. I glanced down, feeling suddenly sheepish for my urgency.

"You will see him presently," he replied, the gentleness in his voice catching me off guard, prompting me to turn to gaze up at him once more to make sure I had not misinterpreted his gone. However, by the time I had done so, between my fluctuating vision and the increasing lightness of my head, all signs of such emotion from him were gone, so I could not be sure of what I had heard.

"He is resting at Menowin's camp," he continued, the corner of his mouth twitching the only sign of his displeasure of the situation.

"He is with Menowin?" I questioned, my voice barely above a whisper as I laid my head against his chest once more as he began climbing the narrow stairs from the culvert to the walkway that followed the Thames.

"Yes," he replied, his tone souring before he continued, "He appeared as soon as I had recovered you and the young lord from the river and offered to hide us for as long as we needed to lie low. So, as soon as I had revived the young master and had examined him for wounds, I entrusted him to Menowin's care."

"Very…good," I mumbled, finally unable to keep my eyes open any longer.

Sebastian huffed at my comment, clearly not agreeing with my comment, but said nothing more.

"No, really," I insisted, my head lulling in time with his quick pace, "He will…keep us safe. He protected me before."

Once again Sebastian offered no verbal reply to what I had said, but the tightening of his grip around my trembling frame told me everything I needed to know. If it had occurred under better circumstances, I would have found some amusement in the display. Sebastian, the ever composed butler, the man who rarely ever gave away what his true feelings were, was clearly jealous.

That fleeting thought was quickly swept away as my heart gave a sudden thud, causing me to gasp at the sudden tightness in my chest.

"Sarah?!"

Sebastian's cry barely cut through the fog that had fallen upon my mind, my vision quickly becoming obscured by the black dots that were hastily encroaching on my vision once more.

"Sebastian…," I whispered listlessly, my limbs losing all strength as the sensation of icy tendrils that had begun in my chest spread through my body, "I feel…funny…"

/

 _Sebastian's POV_

As the barely audible words slipped from her lips, her body went completely limp in my arms. My heart seized within me, my chest tightening uncomfortably as I gazed into her eyes, which stared back at me with a haunting form of lifelessness. I could sense her soul still within her, which helped to ease my panic, but with each passing second, the weak beatings of hear heart grew further apart.

"No," I objected, gritting my teeth as I took full advantage of my abilities since she was unconscious and launched myself into the air, flying over the restful buildings and streets with ease, "I won't let you die."

The night air howled in my ears as we rocketed across the heavens. As the fires of Menowin's camp came into view, I stole another glance down at Sarah, my insides roiled with frustration and disgust as I could not hear her heartbeat over the wind. I had warned my young master of the potential folly of his orders when he told me that, as soon as I had the chance, I was to break away from the evening's events and retrieve the documents the Queen had requested. I was not to return to him nor Sarah until I had done so. I had done as my master had requested, of course. What kind of butler would I be if I had not? It would have been a breach of contract and I couldn't have that. But at what cost? Once again, I had come but a hair breadth away from losing not only my master, but my mate as well. I couldn't continue to allow them to put themselves in such dire straits in the future. I had worked too hard to have any other outcome than my satisfaction and I wouldn't let the poorly thought out orders of a brat interfere with that.

 **Yes**. I thought as I landed at the outskirts of the gypsy camp, soundlessly snaking my way through the tents where many were still peacefully slumbering. Along the horizon, the dark blanket of the night had begun to lighten to a deep navy, signaling the coming dawn. **I cannot allow either one of them to be so reckless in the future.**

Their reckless abandon with their frail mortality had complicated things more than I cared for. They had almost died, which would leave them in an even more precarious state of health for an amount of time that was less than advantageous. Instead of being able to discreetly return to the manor, we would now have to remain in hiding until the Queen decided to execute her justice on the Baron, which had given rise to my greatest concern…Menowin. My eyes narrowed as I sensed his presence towards the west and headed to where he would be tending to my lord. **What a dismal state of affairs this has become.**

I hadn't expected Sarah to have befriended another demon before me. However, I sensed his presence clearly the night she had been foolish enough to attempt walking to the townhouse unescorted. If I had not had to keep up appearances in regard to my true nature, I would have slain him on the spot. My blood boiled at the mere sight of them together. The way she gazed up at him in adoration and allowed him to touch her so freely was not something to be thought of lightly. It was very clear without any proclamation from him that he was a threat. The territorial glow of his eyes as I had approached was enough to confirm Menowin's attachment to Sarah. And, though her attachment did not seem to be as strong towards him, she still had enough affection towards him that she repeatedly disobeyed my orders to stay away…the fact that his scent had not dissipated from the townhouse since that night was enough to confirm those suspicions. Under normal circumstances, I would not have paid a lowly demon like him any mind. However, the progress I had been able to make with Sarah recently was inconsistent at best, while she had seemed to positively glow when she was around him. He was leagues closer to securing her as his mate than I. If I did not do something soon, he would best me.

 **This will not do.** My eyes smoldered as I approached the tent where I could sense Menowin was with my master. **I have to think of something to sway her…but what?**

The swishing of the heavily woven fabric made my ears perk as I reached out my hand, my fingers grasping at the air as Menowin held the flap open. Inside lay my master, peacefully slumbering by the fire that crackled in the center of the tent. My eyes narrowed as I carefully studied his face in the flickering firelight for any signs of distress. Sarah may have trusted him to be safe in this Menowin's care, but I, for one, was still rather skeptical. Though, of course, she had no knowledge of his true nature.

Over the scent of the smoke, I did not detect any alarming odors from him and his aura emanated nothing but tranquility. That was a relief. Surprisingly, Menowin had remained true to his word and had treated my master expertly. He may have been a second class demon, but at least it seemed that he was not like one of the bottom feeders who were more than willing to attempt to steal the souls of those under contract.

"Oh my," Menowin mumbled, his brows furrowing as he stepped aside to let me into the tent.

I swept past him, gingerly laying Sarah on the blanket that was already spread for her, slipping off her boots before my fingers began making quick work of the buckles and buttons of her uniform.

"She 'tis worse than I thought she'd be," he added as he joined me by her side, salves and bandages at the ready.

My brows dipped as I stripped away the soaking leather that clung to her motionless form, my eyes lingering on her lips which now had a faint tint of blue around them.

"Yes," I stated, more to myself than him, my frown deepening as I assessed her now completely bare body as I removed my gloves and rolled up my sleeves, "We must make quick work of this or she will die."

Blood seeped from her wounds as I carefully inserted my fingers into the angry wounds in search of the bullets that penetrated her soft skin. My eyes never wavered from her face, carefully assessing her features for any signs of consciousness. Having her awaken now could prove to be deadly for her.

I grunted with effort as I gave one last twist, finally managing to free the metal from where it had lodged itself deep on her shoulder. My eyes glowed softly as I watched how the firelight played tricks on the metal ball, which was coated in the same slick crimson as my hands. The scent of her blood was distracting. With every weak pump of her heart, the intoxicating scent was renewed and I felt my chest tighten, my thoughts almost completely clouded by the yearning, the calling of my body to be with her. It reminded me of when she had appeared that November night, all tattered and bloody, much like she was now. The instinctual pull towards her had been so intense and unexpected, that I had almost forgotten myself then as well. It had been at least two thousand years since I had a mate call to me so strongly.

From beside me, Menowin shuffled where he sat, a small groan of pained longing issuing from his throat. I spared a warning glance towards the gypsy, my gaze meeting the glowing green of his eyes, seeing the desperation and want in his eyes that must have been reflected in my own. A low growl rumbled in my chest and he cast his gaze downward, his head bowing in submission.

After a brief moment I was satisfied that he had regained control over himself and set back to the pressing issue at hand. I gingerly pressed the area around the opening of the wound on her abdomen, trying to locate the second bullet, but could not. This would explain all the blood. Unfortunately, with the projectile buried so deeply within her body, I would have to open the wound more to retrieve it.

"Well, there's nothing for it," I mumbled to myself in a strange attempt at reassurance before I began working my hand into the entry wound, my strong fingers rending her flesh.

Another fresh wave of blood pulsed from the enlarged wound, the bright red liquid trickled across her pale abdomen to stain the blanket below. A moment after my hand was fully inserted there was a painfully firm grip came on my forearm.

"Wha' do ye think ye're doin'?!" Menowin's deep voice growled, "She can't lose more blood!"

I cast a pointed look towards him, every muscle in my body screaming to just sever his head from his shoulders and be done with the trouble.

"I know ye can hear her heartbeat. It's getting slower by the minute," he pleaded, his gaze flickering down.

"I am fully aware of the fact," I snapped, resuming my search, "I intend to heal her once I remove the bullet."

Even at this, Menowin did not remove his hand, his grip still firmly on my forearm. Another low growl rumbled from my chest in warning. Fortunately that was all he needed to realize he should no longer push his luck and finally removed his hold on me.

"Ah! There you are!" I whispered to myself in success as my fingers grasped the cold metal projectile.

With as much gentleness that I could afford, I worked the bullet from her flesh, tossing the deadly object aside before I began to set to treating her wounds. However, before I could begin, the sharp smell of freshly spilt blood teased my nose. What was that? My attention snapped over to Menowin who was now bent over Sarah. His dark hair spilled over his shoulders, his eyes glowing more brilliantly than before as he lowered his wrist to her lips. Fury sprang up as I watched her lips become stained red with the blood that dripped from his wrist. How dare he!

An animalistic growl ripped up my throat as I struck out at him, knocking him to the ground before pinning him beneath me, my hand gripping mercilessly at his throat. I felt the muscles of his neck strain under my unforgiving hold as he attempted to breathe. The strangled sounds that came from his lips were thrilling, but I wasn't done with him yet. It wasn't as if strangling him would kill him anyway. Leaning over him, I brought my face mere centimeters from his face, my fangs extending menacingly as I allowed my aura to fill the tent.

"You forget yourself," I snarled, my voice deep and rough as I continued, "Do not presume to think you can step in and heal her, too. My blood is the only blood she shall taste because she is _my_ mate."

He glared up at me defiantly, a poisonous spark behind his look adding venom to his brightly glowing eyes as he struggled against me.

I pressed into him harder, my body forcing him into the ground slightly, the grip I had on his throat threatening to crush his esophagus before I growled, "Do you understand?"

For several moments we glared at each other, neither of us willing to back down and I was afraid I would have to press the matter even further than I had. However, with one quick glance towards Sarah, something softened in Menowin's gaze before I his body began to relax underneath me. When he returned his attention to me, his eyes had returned to their normal emerald.

"Good," I stated, accepting this as his surrender for the moment, "Now, why don't you do something useful like find her some fresh clothes to wear?"

With that, I released my hold on him and immediately returned to Sarah's side, the sounds of his sputtering and coughing the only response he gave as he struggled to regain his breath. None of the venom from his gaze from earlier left as his attention remained focused on me, his hand rubbing his neck soothingly as he sat up.

A muted, but pained gasp sounded in my throat as I bit into my wrist with force, the intense flavor of my blood immediately flooding my mouth. As I parted her lips to allow a healthy amount of my blood drip into her mouth, Menowin stirred next to me, but did nothing to interfere. Rather, he rose and silently left the tent, the rustling of the tent flap the only indication of his departure.

 **Finally.** I thought to myself as I massaged my forearm to work more blood into her mouth before my wound completely healed. **Now I can work in peace.**

Now that I was able to fully devote my attention to her care, I worked at a dizzying pace to stabilize her condition, having to bite into my wrist several more times to make sure that enough blood got into the deep gunshot wounds to heal them properly. I did not relent until, about a half an hour later, I reclined back on my elbows, my arms trembling slightly, my chest heaving, and sporting a sheen of sweat on my forehead and chest from the effort. It was uncomfortable and rather taxing, I noted, wincing as I glanced down at my right wrist, which now sported an angry bite mark shaped wound, but it was worth it. Without my supernatural powers being available to heal her, nothing would have been able to save Sarah from the clutches of death.

From outside the tent, I could hear the sounds of the early morning rousings of the camp as dawn had finally come, the bright golden rays of the sun bathing all of the tents with a molten glow. Though, of all of the groans of stretching, coughs, affectionate greetings, and cries of hungry infants, only two sounds captured my attention-the steady breathing of my master and my mate. A strange sense of ease settled into my chest as I watched them slumbering peacefully side by side, their chests rising and falling slowly in time with their heartbeats. As delectable the scent of their tormented, twisting souls were, there was something captivatingly beautiful about the innocence and peace that currently radiated from their features.

My eyes wandered over to Sarah, assessing her condition yet again to reassure myself nothing was amiss. She had come so close to passing on that I had to convince myself that I was not imagining her steady breathing and heartbeat or the healthy flush on her cheeks or the tempting coloring of her full lips. **Yes, everything is as it should be.** I thought to myself as my gaze travelled from her face and across the thin cotton nightgown Menowin had been able to procure for her. Her uniform hung to dry from a rope I had strung across the tent, but that would not be of any reasonable use for another day or so, not until the leather had a chance to fully dry. Even though I begrudged his presence, Menowin had proven himself helpful yet again when he brought her some more appropriate clothes to wear for her daily use.

"Sebas…," Sarah softly groaned, pulling me from my thoughts.

My attention snapped back to her face, surprised that she would have awoken so soon. However, her eyes remained closed and, with an equally soft sigh, she adjusted in her sleep, her head lolling to the right to face me and her left leg bending before leaning out to the left before she settled once more, still deep in slumber. Was she waking so soon? Of course, it would not have been good for her if she had woken this early. Even though my blood had done its work and sealed up her wounds, there was still more work for it to do internally, which would take more time.

I sat up, absentmindedly rubbing my wrist, which still ached even though the wound had now healed completely, before rising and grabbing a few more logs to place on the fire. Even though the first fresh smells of the coming spring were on the air, the morning was still under the spell of winter and I did not want to risk either of them catching cold from sleeping outside. I crouched as I carefully slid the logs into the flames, staring as if entranced as they greedily devoured the new fuel.

I remained like this for several minutes as I basked in the momentary reprieve of the constant nature of my duties, my mind whirring over the recent events of the past four months. Both my master and Sarah's situations were most vexing. Despite the both of them having a vested interest in securing the revenge they desired for their situation, neither had been able to make the slightest progress in bringing the ones who desired to bring them harm to justice. As frustrating it was that my contract was no less closer to being completed than when it had begun, at least it was my master who was the pursuer in his case. For Sarah, she was both the hunter and the hunted.

My brows furrowed as I turned my attention to the sleeping maiden beside me. Despite my efforts to look into her past, it seemed the truth was incongruously mixed with rumor and half truths so that it was almost impossible to determine the right of her situation. However, whether truth or rumor, everything seemed to point back to two things: the severance of her engagement with Ciel and Italy. On the former, she had little to no enlightening information other than her anecdotal recounting of the event. On the latter, she had been infuriatingly tight lipped, no matter what ploys I used to coax the information out of her. **Whether she liked it or not, though** , I thought to myself, my brows furrowing again as my gaze rested on the curious scar on the inside of her left thigh, **I would eventually work the truth out of her.**

"Hmmm," I hummed as I rose briefly before situating myself between her legs, crouching over her as I inspected the scar further.

"How did you acquire such a curious marking?" I whispered absentmindedly as I traced over the scar with a feather-light touch of my fingers.

My thoughts raced as I tried to recall where I may have seen such a marking before. It was a crudely carved shape of what appeared to be an oroborus, with the snake being twisted into the shape of an infinity symbol. My frown deepened as I ran my fingers over the raised scar tissue once more. Whoever had given her this had gone through the painstaking process of carving this into her skin, as a reminder or as the stake of a claim, I did not know, but either way they wanted to ensure she would never forget what had been done to her.

My fingers began to absentmindedly trace over the marking over and over, unable to tear my eyes away from the ominous shape as it burnt itself into my memory. Though, as my fingers continued to graze across her skin, a stronger, more distracting sensation began to form in the back of my mind. Her porcelain skin was pleasingly soft and smooth underneath my touch and the scent from her blood still hung intoxicatingly in the air, teasing me further. I dared to spread my fingers across her thigh, my finger tracing lazily across her flesh, leaving gooseflesh in the wake of my touch. Soundlessly, her legs spread further as if the invite me to proceed further, her body reacting instinctively to my attention. My eyes burned slightly as they began to glow as my gaze trailed up her resting body, not missing the peaks of her hardened nipples against the thin fabric of her nightgown, the subtle scent of her budding arousal beginning to creep into the air as well. Yes, it was clear that her body desired to be claimed by me as much as I desired to claim it. Oh, how desperately I wanted to. I longed to touch more, feel more. I yearned to hear her cries of pleasure in my ears as I watched her writhe beneath me, her eyes clouded over with desire before I sank my fangs into her, marking her as my mate.

 **I could do it…I could do it right now.** I thought, my hand creeping up under her nightgown, my thumb hooking underneath the hem to slowly pull it upwards. Whether she wanted to recognize it or not, she wanted me. She was drawn to me in a way no other being had before, and the longed to be with me, to be claimed by me. Why not speed things up a bit? Once I had claimed her, half of the battle would be won and the draw of our bond would be strong enough that she would eventually cave underneath the pull of it and would mark me as well, whether or not her mind was in agreement or not. It had been such a troublesome mating process so far, why not simplify things? Hadn't I earned that satisfaction at least? It was not necessary to have a willing mate when one's mate was a demon, why should different rules apply to human mates?

As my hands reached her undergarments, an image flashed across my mind of the night of the ball. My cheek tingled as I recalled how she had slapped me when I had embraced her in an attempt to wash away any remnants of Lord Carson from her body. The fire of anger and repulsion that had sparked in her eyes that night was unmistakable. Every moment since then when she willingly denied my touch and attention towards her replayed in my mind. Image after image of rejection on display until, after several minutes, I found myself sitting on my knees beside Sarah, most of her body securely tucked under the blanket she had kicked off earlier in her sleep.

I watched the gradual rise and fall of the blanket as she continued to slumber, completely oblivious to what had almost transpired moments before. As I continued to watch on, the realization that I could not claim her without her consent settled in. There was one great difference between human and demon mates and that was that a simple copulation was not the only thing necessary for the mating process to be completed. But rather, both demon and human needed to mark the other as their own, something that required consent from both parties. In the past I had been able to force the issue with the few human mates I had previously, but I knew Sarah would not be so easy to persuade. She was not the type of woman to be coerced or seduced into doing something she did not have the mind to do…something that, at the moment, was proving to be rather wearisome.

Closing my eyes, I heaved a heavy sigh as I ran my fingers through my hair. One thing was certain and that was I needed some fresh air. It would prove effective to help clear my mind. With one swift movement, I rose to my feet, donning on a fresh pair of gloves. Menowin may have known my true nature, but I did not know how many of the other gypsies knew about demons and, if they did, how accepting they were towards them. Either way, I could not risk discovery. Such a revelation could prove to be deadly to us all.

After taking another brief moment to reassure that all was well with my master and Sarah, I slipped into my tailcoat and made to leave. It would be prudent of me to locate some food for the pair for when they finally awoke and possibly find more firewood. As I pulled the tent flap back to exit, I stole one last glance at the sleeping duo, my eyes eventually falling on Sarah. Something bizarre stirred within me as the rays from the morning sun filtered through the air to shine upon her features, drawing out the warm copper tones of her hair, which contrasted beautifully with her skin.

Not wanting to dwell here any longer than necessary, I turned and left the tent, one thought alone on my mind…I could only hope that the adage 'good things come to those that wait' would ring true for me.

/

 _Sarah's POV_

Hands. Strong hands all over my body, holding me down. Something warm and wet peppered all over my skin…I think they are kisses, but I do not want them. My throat constricts from screaming before something is shoved in my mouth to silence my cries. Piercing pain shoots from between my legs…a throbbing, piercing pain that I cannot stop. Labored breathing fills my ears and I try to turn away, but my jaw is grabbed forcibly to face straight ahead into the dark, consuming void. Whispers of "perfect" and "beautiful" echo from the void, but I do not want to hear their words. I just want the pain to stop. I want all of it to stop.

A frightened gasp escaped my lips as my eyes snapped open, revealing a much different scene than I had just seen. I barely registered the crackling of the fire beside me over the roaring thundering of my heartbeat in my ears. My chest heaved as I stared up at the ceiling of a tent, as I tried to calm the anxiety that tightened my chest. These dreams were becoming more frequent as of late as March 15 drew ever nearer. **That was not important.** I tried to reassure myself in an attempt to ground myself in what was presently happening. **What is important is figuring out where I am.**

I brought my right hand up to my forehead, slicking the sweat soaked hairs from where they had become plastered to my forehead as my mind frantically tried to remember what had last happened. Where was I? How did I get here? I grimaced as I lowered my arm to the ground, my right shoulder seizing with pain.

 **That's right.** I thought, my gaze beginning to wander about the tent as the pain that radiated from my shoulder and abdomen served to help stimulate my memory. Memories flashed through my thoughts, recalling the events of the night of the mission. My fingers aimlessly rubbed the scratchy woolen blanket between my fingers as I gazed up at the thick, tan material of the tent roof, my body relaxing against the ground as my breathing and heart rate returned to normal. From the lack of light and noise outside, I assumed it was currently night.

As I glance over to the right of the tent, I spotted my uniform hanging from a rope to dry, along with various other sparkling trinkets which glinted in the firelight. Along the same side, against one of the walls of the tent was a small ornately carved chest on which was draped an emerald green cloak which had colorful beading along the hem. My brows rose as I recognized Menowin's cloak. **I must be in Menowin's tent.** I realized with a start.

 **Wait!** I thought, urgency gripping my insides like a vice. **If I am here, where is Ciel?!**

I bolted upright, an unbidden cry coming from my lips as the wound on my abdomen tugged painfully at my movements.

"Don't move like that. You will injure yourself more," a small, weary voice said to my left. A gasp of joy escaped my lips, tears of relief springing to my eyes as I turned towards the voice.

Ciel lay on his side, turned towards me on a mat of his own underneath two heavy blankets. A slight frown was on his face, but the look in his uncovered eye showed me he was not truly angry, but most likely frustrated my sudden consciousness had awoken him. His ashen hair was ruffled from slumber and there were fairly dark circles under the eye that was visible, but overall, he appeared unharmed.

"Ciel!" I cried, his name only coming out as a strangled cry as my throat tightened with emotion.

In that moment, I forgot myself, so overjoyed at his survival that I closed the distance between us and, despite the pain it caused me, scooped the petit boy up in my arms and held him tight. I buried his head against my chest and ran my fingers through his hair as sobs of relief filled the night air. In the back of my mind, something told me to stop, that I shouldn't be having such a show of emotion, but I could not stop the hot tears that poured down my face. I had thought I had lost Ciel. Such a thought was unbearable and to be able to hold him, to feel the warmth of his skin, to hear his heartbeat, to know that he was safe was something so relieving I could not adequately put it into words.

Ciel let out a muffled cry of surprise and squirmed in my arms.

"S-Sarah!" he exclaimed and I could practically feel his embarrassment radiating from his face.

After another moment or two of me continuing to hold him in a tight embrace, he must have accepted the fact that I wasn't going to release him any time soon because he stilled in my arms, choosing instead to rub my back comfortingly as I continued to weep.

"I am sorry," I whispered sheepishly several minutes later as I released him, rubbing my eyes dry as I lay back down on my mat.

Ciel shifted and looked down, still clearly uncomfortable, his cheeks still bright with a blush before he mumbled, "It is fine, so long as we never speak of this."

I gave a soft chuckle, a slight smile tugging at my lips at his words.

"As you wish, my lord."

I paused, waiting a moment before I added, "So you are unharmed?"

"Yes, save a few bruises and scratches."

I closed my eyes and sighed heavily, another wave of relief washing over me.

"You have no idea how it gladdens me to hear that."

"What about you?" Ciel asked awkwardly, "You have been out for two days. Even Sebastian was starting to get concerned."

My eyes widened at his words.

"I have been asleep for two days?" I whispered in surprise.

Ciel nodded in confirmation before pressing again, "So how do you feel?"

"I hurt all over," I confessed, flexing my hands as I looked down at them, "But not as much as when I was first wounded."

Ciel gave no answer save to nod once more, his brows furrowing as he looked down as he became engrossed in his thoughts.

We both fell into a comfortable silence as we often did when we were alone together. It was as if neither of us were willing to bridge the canyon that still separated us. There were times I wondered if it would ever go away. As the silence continued, the soft crackling of the fire that burned comfortingly behind where Ciel laid caught my attention. The warm glow of the small flames entranced my tired mind and as I watched on, my eyelids began to droop, the inviting call of slumber lulling me to sleep.

"Sarah." Ciel called, his voice barely above a whisper. A few more moments and I probably would have missed what he had said.

"Hm?" I hummed blearily, forcing my eyes open to look at him.

He looked down, as if he was unsure of what he was going to say next, before his cerulean gaze connected with mine once more.

"Thank you…thank you for what you did. You saved my life."

My heart swelled at his gratitude, a warm smile spreading across my face.

"It is the least I could do," I replied as softly.

His mouth dipped in a slight frown at my answer, before he spoke again, asking, "But why did you do it? If it were not for Sebastian, you would be dead right now? Why risk everything to save my life?"

I paused and looked down, my heart seizing painfully at his suspicion of my motives.

"I thought it would have been obvious by now," my voice so soft I was afraid he might not be able to hear me, before I continued, daring to return his gaze as I confessed, "I love you, Ciel."

His eye widened as my confession fell from my lips, a flurry of emotions passing over his face: astonishment, fear, embarrassment, and, possibly, at last, acceptance. A moment later, though, he cast his gaze downward, unable to meet my gaze as his cheeks burned with a fresh flush of embarrassment.

Wanting to ease the awkwardness of the moment, I ventured to clarify further against the trepidation that twisted my insides, wringing the blanket in my hands as I continued, "I never stopped loving you. Not when our engagement was severed, not when I became a Silencer, and not when you acted cruelly towards me. You are irreplaceably precious to me and I would do anything to protect you."

I silenced myself, my voice wavering with emotion as I finished, fresh tears pooling in my eyes which threatened to fall if I continued. Ciel said nothing, but rather chose to remain with his gaze downcast as silence descended upon us once more. In all honesty, I was shocked at what I had just confessed as well. I did not know what had come over me that would cause me to be so vulnerable with him right now, but I had found I was powerless against the pull of the words that yearned to be spoken. I bit my lip, unsure as to what to do and was about to speak once more when Ciel abruptly rolled over, turning his back to me.

"You should try to get some more rest. It is in the middle of the night and Sebastian won't be returning until the morning," he stated, his voice full of his authority as an Earl as he shuffled, pulling the blankets up to his chin.

I smiled, my gaze softening as I obeyed his words.

"As you wish," I whispered, pulling my covers over me once more and closed my eyes.

"Good night, Ciel."

For several minutes, nothing disturbed the peaceful silence of the night that surrounded us save the sounds of the fire.

However, just as I began to fully drift into slumber, I heard Ciel whisper, "Good night, Sarah."

And then, he added, almost inaudibly, so inaudibly in fact that for quite some time I was not truly sure he had actually said it…

"I love you, too."

 **Author's Note:**

So I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! So much Ciel and Sarah fluff!

Anyways, so I cannot believe it, but I've actually been writing this fic for a year now (I started writing it several months before my friends actually convinced me to post it)! So, to commemorate the anniversary of the birth of this story, the next chapter I will post will be more of a fun nature and less focused on the plot (but will contain some nice nuggets of character development). This actually started out purely as a coping mechanism for dealing with my grief after a big loss in my family, but it has turned into so much more and you guys are a big part of that. So, I'm hoping to have that done soon-ish (I am hoping to not have you guys waiting for over two months again) and I will start working on the first chapter of my AoT fic soon.

Thanks again for reading this chapter! ^_^


	21. His Butler: Reconciled

**Author's note:**

Hello, lovelies. So…seven months…seven months I have not posted anything new for this story and the only thing I can say is thank you. If I am completely honest, the last half of 2018 was a rollercoaster, which is the main reason why it has taken me so long to get this penned down. So believe me when I say thank you, because I mean it in the most sincere way. In the past seven months there have been plenty of times where I chipped away at this chapter, scrapped what I had written, and, honestly, more than once when things got really rough, I even considered just abandoning this story altogether. But it would be about then that one of you lovelies would post a comment or review or drop me a PM and that would help to keep me going, to keep writing this story.

So a tremendous thank you to everyone out there who is reading this. I don't know how many readers I have anymore at this point (and, frankly, after being quiet for seven months, I can't blame them if they moved on), but if you are here…we made it! Chapter 21 is finally here and I genuinely mean it when I say that it wouldn't be if it wasn't for you all. A huge shout out to: **ThePsychoBeauty, Asuth20, SailorSedna052, Fifi, BBFan, WickedlyMinx, your good friend, Caranril, bonitalio, MzAkumaGore, Valerie Chavous, AtasukiShizu3, Mudbloods are in, Carlisa1974, garnet86, and Platinumqueenxx** for all the lovely comments you shared. I am sorry that I wasn't able to get back to all of you like I would've liked to, but know that all of your comments were deeply appreciated.

So, now on to what you all are really here for…chapter 21. I will admit that this is a transition chapter, though there is some stuff that happens in this chapter that helps set things up for the next chapter (more info on that in the A/N at the end of the chapter). Thank you all again for your patience, concern, and understanding while I've been working on this. You all are the best readers I could ask for!

 **His Butler: Reconciled**

The plum darkness of the sky slowly melted away to the warmer hues of dawn, the sky alight with the promising pink, yellow, and orange that hinted to the sun's rising. In the nearby distance, fog silently glided over the water of the Thames like a comforting specter. Somewhere unseen, the shouts of workmen and mechanical grindings and hissing of steam signaled the starting up activities of a nearby factory as they echoed over the otherwise silent landscape. All was peaceful, the last moment of tranquility before the loud cacophony of the day's activities began.

I sighed with contentment as I wiped the sweat from my brow with the back of my hand. My chest heaved as I let the axe in my hand fall to the ground by my side, a subtle smile on my lips as I watched a lone fisherman lazily float by our camp. As I closed my eyes, I allowed the serenity of the moment settle in, permeating to my very bones. **Yes,** I thought as I slowly opened my eyes to gaze at the remaining wisps of fog that floated over the water, **this is what I needed.**

Since I had regained consciousness two weeks ago, Sebastian had set me to a rigorous regiment of exercises and training to help me regain my strength. To my chagrin, since he did not have an entire manor to oversee, he dedicated what attention wasn't spent on attending to Ciel or following Lord Amesworth's trial to my recovery. How my wounds had been able to heal in such a short amount of time, I did not know. When I pressed Sebastian on the subject he only provided the vague answer that he had used the same medication as he had before, but would offer no more explanation than that. So, from early morning to late in the evening he had me working until I collapsed from exhaustion after dinner, with me sometimes foregoing bathing in favor of rest, only to repeat the same process the next day. If I had thought he had tormented me with his training before, now he was borderline psychotic, seemingly hell-bent on Ciel and I healing enough so we could return to the manor as soon as possible.

His frustration over our current situation only served to make him all the more unbearable. However, while I could understand his unease, Ciel's orders had been clear- until Lord Amesworth's trial was completed and he was executed for his crimes, we were to remain where we were. This was by the order of the Queen herself. Apparently Lord Amesworth had wasted no time in circulating the message in the Underworld that he would pay a handsome fee if anyone could capture us and bring us to him for judgment. Though he had stated that he didn't care all that much about the state in which we were returned-cold and already stiff would satisfy his needs as much as live meat.

A heavy sigh escaped my lips, my brows furrowing as I shook my head and began to add the wood I had just chopped to the firewood basket. I had accepted the offer of employment at the Phantomhive manor in the hopes that I would be able to find a safe haven of sorts. Unfortunately, it seemed to be anything but that, being assaulted twice and having yet another near death experience was enough to confirm that idea.

"Am I really as safe with them as I think I am?" I mused out loud, placing another chunk of wood on the stump.

My muscles strained and pulled as I lifted the axe and brought it down on the wood, splitting it cleanly in two.

"All depen's on whatcha mean by 'safe'." A voice answered from behind me as the wood clattered from the stump to the ground.

I swiftly turned about to face the unannounced visitor, though I would have recognized the warm tenor tone anywhere.

"Oh," I started, my surprise quickly melting away, a welcoming smile coming to my face as my gaze met brilliant emerald eyes, "Good morning, Menowin."

He flashed a bright, heartwarming smile at my greeting, one which I returned heartily. As I gazed at him, his olive toned skin glowed in the golden rays of the sunrise, his smooth dark locks shining in the with the same light, and my heart skipped a beat as my mind wondered why I had never noticed how handsome he was before. My eyes widened briefly as the thought crossed my mind and I abruptly turned back to the firewood, busying myself with picking up the pieces I had just cut to hide the blush that warmed my cheeks.

Soundlessly Menowin came to join me by my side, the nearness of his voice startling me as he asked, "Yer up ratha early, aren't ye, Song Bird?"

The gentle, knowing tone of his question told me he already knew why I had risen before most of the rest of the camp had.

As I finished filling the firewood basket, I rose, shuffling awkwardly as I refused to meet his gaze. I didn't, no, couldn't bear to see the sympathy that I knew would be in his eyes.

"I have always been one to rise early," I mumbled in a half hearted excuse, "and I do not like being idle, so I set to preparing for the day."

"Sarah," he whispered softly, so gently my heart ached.

The warmth of his touch surprised me as he reached to curve his finger under my chin, carefully coaxing me to return his gaze. He patiently waited for a further explanation, his brow creased with concern as his eyes softened with knowing sympathy.

"I am fine, Menowin," I retorted, recoiling from his touch, trying to ignore the painful twist of my heart as I saw my pain reflected in his eyes.

"Someone who is fine doesn'a wake up screamin' every nigh'," he objected, his mouth dipping in insistent displeasure.

I glanced away, knowing I couldn't evade his questions forever. He was right, I wasn't fine. I was falling apart, the carefully constructed disguise of sorts I used to make it through every day life was swiftly unraveling. And the dreams were only the beginning.

He gave a heavy sigh once he realized I wasn't going to answer him and moved to stand as close to me as he could, the basket of firewood serving as the only barrier between us. A moment later, he pressed his hands against mine, gingerly removing the basket from my grasp and setting it on the ground as he continued,

"You've been dreamin' about Italy, haven' ya?" he softly prodded, his question causing me to wince, my eyes pricking with tears as an unexpected wave of emotion washed over me, "It's almost been a year, hasnit?"

I nodded, my vision completely clouding with tears before I answered, my voice wavering, "Next week."

I looked down, chewing the inside of my cheek to stifle the painful swell of emotion that was building in my chest. This was not the time nor the place for such a display and I refused to allow Menowin to see such vulnerability in me, even if he was one of my dearest friends. The swish of fabric and the warmth of strong arms wrapping around my frame shocked me from my struggle. I stiffened momentarily as my head rested against his strong chest, but soon melted against him, the steady rhythm of his heart adding to the soothing richness of his scent.

Against my will, my shoulders began to shake, my bottom lip trembling as the tears that I had been able to hold at bay spilled unbidden from my eyes.

"I'm so sorry," Menowin whispered, his voice thick with emotion as he ghosted his fingers over my hair, "If I could change wha' happened tha' night, I would do it in a hear'beat."

A strangled sob escaped my lips at his words as my tears stained the thin cotton of his shirt. In the distance, though closer than I would have liked, the sounds of the morning stirrings of the camp made me ears perk and I grimaced.

"I'm sorry," I curtly interjected, abruptly pulling myself from his comforting embrace. He stood wordless, slightly dumbfounded by the suddenness of my actions as I snatched the wood basket from the ground, adding, "I cannot do this."

My skirts swished around my legs as I turned and began to march back to our tent, the slight coolness of the morning air numbing my cheeks as I gruffly wiped the tears from my eyes. I couldn't let this happen. Not here, not now. If I succumbed, if I finally allowed myself to release all the anguish trapped inside me, I didn't know if I would be able to put myself back together again.

"Sarah!" Menowin called from behind me, but I did not turn to face him. Instead I marched forward with determination.

I passed through a crowded cluster of tents and began crossing through one of the open gathering areas where people would perform most of their daily work, though, fortunately, this early in the morning most were only beginning to emerge from their tents, so the area was eerily deserted.

"Hey!" Menowin breathlessly shouted a moment before firmly grabbing my arm.

With a forceful tug, he whipped me around to face him. The frown that creased my forehead mirrored his own as he looked down at me, full disapproval clear in his gaze.

"What?" I hissed.

"Why won' ye let me help?"

"Because," I began, my words catching in my throat as the gentleness of his words caught me off guard and I saw the pain that radiated in his gaze, overpowering his anger. I swallowed, trying to regain my voice as I continued, "Because this is something I have to deal with on my own. Enough people have been hurt because they have crossed paths with me. I cannot have the same happen to you."

"Haven' ye realized tha' those people might'a been hurt because ye didn' let them help?"

I froze at his question, stunned by his blunt opposition. His grip on my upper arm tightened as he pressed further, "Ye can'na keep pushin' people away. You'll only end up more broken in the end."

We gazed intensely at each other for several moments as if to challenge the other to back down. However, I could not relent so easily.

"That is a risk I am willing to take. I would rather be completely broken than have others around me suffer."

At my response, Menowin hissed, pulling me flush against him as his frown deepened before he growled, "Don' ye realize how selfish tha' is?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"I bet ye think ye're doin' us a favor by tryin' to go it on yer own, tha' ye're some kinda hero. Don' ye know tha' they suffer more when they see ye hurtin', but they can'na do anything about it?" he paused, the intensity of his gaze softening as he reached up to gently cup my cheek, "Don' ye know how much it hurts to not be able to keep teh ones ye love safe?"

My eyes widened, my breath quickening as the gravity of his words struck me. His grip on my arm lessened as we continued to look at each other, his thumb soothingly stroking my cheek as a faint blush colored his cheeks. What was happening?

"Menowin, I…-," I began, but I was cut off as a clear voice cut across the grounds.

"I thought I heard shouting. Is something the matter?"

The sound of Sebastian's hurried, but steady footsteps sounded from behind me startled me back to the present and I turned towards him, pulling myself away from Menowin as he released his grip on me.

Though I could have sworn that I heard him mutter, "Why does he always hav' ta interfere?" under his breath.

"Nothing is the matter," I curtly replied to Sebastian as he halted his approach a little ways away from us, his eyes scanning appraisingly over the two of us, his mouth dipping slightly in displeasure as his eyes looked above me towards Menowin.

"I was returning to our tent after having chopped wood for the morning fire before his lordship arose. Menowin was kind enough to accompany me back."

At that explanation, Sebastian's skeptical gaze returned to me as he retorted, "From your raised voice, it seems his presence was less than kind."

I opened my mouth to disagree with his assumption, however, before I could reply, Sebastian continued with a swift tug to his waistcoat as he continued, "Nevermind that, it is convenient that you are returning back to the tent. The young lord has arisen and is in danger of catching a chill. Additionally," he paused, his expression becoming grave as he lowered his gaze to mine, causing my stomach to twist with worry, "he desires to speak with you."

"Very well," I replied quietly, nodding in acceptance as I stepped to Sebastian's side.

I jumped slightly when, even through the thick wool shawl I had wrapped about me, I felt Sebastian's hand placed firmly on my lower back. My cheeks grew warm and I whipped my head around to look up at him, my brows dipping with a disapproving frown. However, my reproving glare went unnoticed, as his attention was still focused on Menowin, the glare he was sending my friend positively murderous. Heaving a sigh, I rolled my eyes, stepping forward so he was no longer touching me. Whatever power struggle was going on between these two, I didn't know, nor did I want to.

I glanced back after I had taken a few steps to find that neither man had moved, rather they both stood resolute, shoulders bristled and hands clenched.

"Good heavens," I muttered under my breath, rolling my eyes again, before I called, "I was under the impression we should hurry back to his lordship."

For a few more moments neither one of them moved, neither of them seeming to be willing to be the first to relinquish control until Menowin finally cast his gaze down towards the ground, defeat clear on his face.

As Sebastian rejoined me, I gave Menowin a warm smile, which caused his face to brighten again, waving as I turned away and continued toward our tent.

"Whatever was that about?" I asked, my eyebrow quirking as I glanced up at Sebastian.

He didn't even grace my question with a look of acknowledgement, his face remaining unreadable as he continued to look in the distance as he answered cooly, "Nothing you should trouble yourself about."

We walked in tense silence for several yards before he pressed once more, "What about you? Whatever was the matter before I arrived?"

"Nothing you should trouble yourself about," I quipped as I continued forward, adjusting my hold on the firewood basket.

It took all of my self control not to smirk as I heard him give an almost inaudible huff and a frustrated, "Very well, then."

Our brief conversation dissolved into uneasy silence once more for the few minutes it took to walk to our tent, which was located on the outskirts of the camp. To my relief a thin wisp of smoke still rose from our refuge. We had returned in time to stoke the fire instead of having to rekindle it. I had learned from a couple of the frigid nights we had experienced since our arrival here that fires in the out of doors were much more difficult to breathe into life than at the manor. On one night in particular I had awoken to find that the fire had expired and that Ciel, Sebastian, and Menowin were sound asleep. After attempting to ignite the charred wood for a good half an hour, I had to rouse Sebastian from his slumber, which proved to be almost a more difficult feat than starting the fire…I had to strike him across the face before he acknowledged my presence.

"Where have you two been?" Ciel barked as Sebastian allowed me to enter the tent before him.

"My apologies, my lord," I answered as I crossed over to where he sat glowering at us by the dying flames, cocooned in all of the blankets that could be found in the tent like he was some disgruntled woolen caterpillar, and began to tend to the matter at hand.

The embers crackled, glowing hotter as I fed them some of the large splinters of wood to coax them back into life.

"It took me several minutes to locate Ms. Wakefield, my lord, do forgive our tardiness. I apologize for whatever discomfort our delay may have caused you."

Ciel huffed at Sebastian's answer, turning his seething glare towards his butler as Sebastian came to stand by his side.

"Whatever," he growled, "Can't you do something to speed this up? I'm freezing."

Sebastian closed his eyes as he nodded, "As you wish."

Giving a nod towards me, he added, "You may want to stand back for a moment. Things could get a little…hot."

At those words I rushed to my feet, being sure to stand clear from the fire pit. If there was anything I had learned in my time at the Phantomhive manor, it was that when Sebastian offered a suggestion, that there was good reason for it and one would be foolish to not heed his words.

With a flick of his wrist, the embers which I had only been able to work to a promise of reigniting seemed to disappear as a fully grown, healthy flame sprang to life, sending a rush of heat throughout the tent. I stared in wonder at what I had just seen, making a note to ask him how he had done that when we had a private audience later.

"Is that to your liking, my lord?" he asked as he gave the cuffs of his sleeves a firm tug.

"Yes," Ciel answered, the tent having warmed up enough in the short time that he was already shedding the blankets he had swaddled himself in earlier, "Now, put these away and get some tea going. We may be living out of doors, but I'm not some peasant."

"Yes, my lord."

The bright, cool morning light flooded the tent for but a moment as Sebastian left to gather some water, though I barely registered that he had left. My brows creased slightly in concentration as the flames continued to hold me entranced. As they swayed and danced before me, the flickering light casting eerie shadows around the corners of the tent, I could not shake the uneasy suspicion that these flames were in no way natural. Certainly I had seen various combustible agents used to kindle fires before, but this was borne of something else entirely. Much like the odd crimson pills he had used to tend to my wounds or the seemingly overly efficient feats he was able to perform in the maintenance of the manor, what I had just witnessed was something that was not physically possible. **No** , my mind echoed as a warning shiver went down my spine, **these feats were entirely inhuman.**

"Sarah!" Ciel's sharp call interrupted, startling me from my thoughts before I had a moment to correct the ludicrous nature of such a thought. Surely my conclusion was borne from having listened to one too many of Madame Esme's stories of her home country as we worked together throughout my days here, when I wasn't training with Sebastian, that is.

My attention snapped to Ciel, whose frown informed me that had not been the first time he had called for me, and I cast my gaze to the floor, curtsying hurriedly.

"My apologies, my lord. I was lost in my thoughts and did not hear you calling."

Ciel rolled his eyes, waving a dismissive hand as I righted myself, "Nevermind all that. We have all been rather distracted as of late." He paused, before sweeping his hand to a cushion which sat on the ground next to him and adding, "Come. Sit. There is something I wish to discuss with you before Sebastian returns."

Wordlessly I heeded his command, swiftly coming to sit on my knees beside the young lord, my mind whirring as I attempted to figure out what Ciel would want to address, especially without Sebastian's presence.

"What is it that you wish to say, my lord?" I whispered softly, a nervous ball of foreboding lying heavy in my stomach as all of the possibilities raced through my mind-all of which ended with me being sacked, "Have I done something to displease you?"

"Oh, dear heavens, you sound as melodramatic as Sebastian," he sighed, pinching between his brows before returning his appraising gaze towards me, "No, far from it. I have actually been rather pleased with what I have seen from you in the past several months. I have discussed the matter with Sebastian at length and with the other servants as well. With their report and what I have witnessed, I am prepared to make you the offer to promote you from scullery maid to head housekeeper."

At first all I could do was blink at him in surprise as I was completely dumbfounded by this sudden, unexpected turn.

"So you aren't sacking me?"

Ciel snorted in amusement, an impish grin spreading across his face as he replied with nonchalance, "Oh no, I'd never sack you. You know too much. If I were to have you leave my service, I would have to kill you."

 **Well, I suppose it is nice to know where we stand.** I thought as I nodded in acknowledgement.

"Fair enough."

"Certainly taking the position would mean that you would have an increased amount of responsibility, though that would mainly be in regards to how you serve me. When it comes to the management of the servants, you are already performing many of the duties that would be required of you. And the position would obviously also pay significantly more than what you currently make, but if you accept the position, we can discuss those sorts of matters when we return to the manor," he paused, looking up at me, the intensity in his cerulean gaze catching me off guard as he continued, "The reason why I bring this up now is that, should you accept the position, I have two conditions under which you may do so."

"What are those conditions, your lordship?"

"Firstly, I do not know what has happened between you and Sebastian, nor do I care to know, but I need whatever differences that have occurred to be resolved. In this position the two of you will be working closer than you have already and it is rather likely that you two will find yourselves in positions that will require the upmost trust and unity of will. I cannot allow any sort of disagreements to come between the two of you that could jeopardize any of our missions."

I grit my teeth as he continued to pin me to the spot with his piercing gaze. If Sebastian had anything to do with this as a way to force my hand, there would be hell to pay.

When Ciel realized that there was no response I would provide yet, he continued with the same air of authority, "The second condition is simple, but no less difficult. You must tell us what happened in Italy."

My eyes widened as my blood ran cold at his words, though he remained unaffected, his gaze unwavering as he awaited an answer from me.

"Italy?" I breathed, my voice trembling as I uttered the poisonous word.

"Yes," Ciel replied with finality, "Normally I wouldn't be so insistent about such things, however, since you have come under my care, there have been multiple attacks on the manor which have not only put yourself, but also the rest of my household, including myself at grave risk. And it seems that all of this misfortune comes back to whatever happened in Italy. Clearly whatever occurred there was sinister enough to reduce an elite assassin of the Underground to trembling silence. So I think it only reasonable that if I am to continue to offer you employment that I understand why."

I cast my gaze down at my lap, any response I could give caught in my throat, which was parched as if a wad of cotton had been shoved down it. My heart tugged with disappointment as my hands trembled uncontrollably to the point that I forcefully clenched handfuls my skirt to lessen the tremors.

"Oh dear, my lord, whatever have you said to Ms. Wakefield?" Sebastian's voice inquired, signaling his return along with another bright flash of daylight as he entered the tent. I turned my head from the small table where he came to stand, the clinking of the borrowed china the only sound breaking the thick tension that had settled into the air as he set about preparing Ciel's tea, adding, "It is almost as if she's seen a ghost."

At this I lifted my gaze to look towards Sebastian, who had come to join his master by his side while the tea was steeping to find they both wore a mask of scrutiny, their eyes searching mine for the answers I had failed to give them thus far.

"Indeed," Ciel murmured as his brow furrowed, though a moment later he give a soft sigh as his visage smoothed once more, he continued, "You do not have to answer this moment. I will give you time to think my offer over. Though there is something we wish to discuss with you when we return to the manor that I believe might sway your opinion."

I nodded in affirmation at his words and slowly allowed my hands to loosen their hold on my skirt as I answered in a small voice, "Thank you, my lord."

"However, that does bring us to the matter at hand," Ciel paused, motioning to Sebastian, "If you would please explain."

Sebastian nodded, a slight smile on his lips, which only showed when he believed he was going to be revealing important evidence, as he reached into the pocket of his waistcoat and produced a piece of paper, which he extended to me.

"I have been following Lord Amesworth's actions whilst we have been here and have been ensuring that the Yard has been able to find the evidence necessary to incriminate him for his crimes, from the shadows, of course."

"I'm sure that's been quite the feat," I mumbled under my breath as I unfolded the paper and began to quickly skim the news article which had been clipped.

Sebastian chuckled at my remark, "Indeed."

"So he is to be hung today at noon for his crimes against the crown?" I asked as a rush of relief swept through me as I finished skimming the print, an irrepressible smile lighting my face.

"Yes," Sebastian affirmed with a nod, "the letters we were able to procure from his residence were the 'nail in the coffin', so to speak, and sealed his fate."

"Which means that after today we can be rid of this blasted place," Ciel grumbled, crossing his arms, "I intend to leave on the morrow. We will acquire transportation from the townhouse once Sebastian has ascertained that it is safe, then we will return to the manor. I am rather tired of these little missions turning into more of an adventure than intended."

My smile faltered as my heart sunk at his words. It seemed I had just found Menowin again only to have to leave him, for how long, I could not be sure.

"Is there some trouble with this plan?"

"No, not at all, my lord," I refuted, none too truthfully, to Ciel's question.

"Excellent," Ciel said as he took the tea Sebastian brought over to him, taking a deep sip before continuing, "It is all settled then. After you and Sebastian have partaken in breakfast, I want you to begin the preparations for our return."

"Yes, my lord." Sebastian and I replied in unison.

At this, I rose to my feet as Sebastian crossed the short distance from his post by his master to the opening of the tent and, with a polite curtsey, joined the butler before we made our leave. I paused as we stepped from the tent, jarred by the sudden onslaught of noise and noise.

"Is everything alright?" Sebastian called from somewhere ahead of me, apparently not as disarmed by the change as I.

I held my hand up to shield my eyes from the brilliant golden sunlight that bathed the camp, though I found I still had to blink exaggeratedly a couple of times before I could see Sebastian clearly.

"Yes," I replied hurriedly as I sprinted to catch up to him.

I followed close to his side as we weaved our way through the flurry of activity that had engulfed the camp. All around us people hustled about with their morning preparations- the air filled with the sounds of laughter and conversation, the crackling of fires, shouts of excitement from some of the children who ran about the adults as they went about them and sometimes receiving a scolding remark for doing so, and the scent of smoke and spices. To many, especially those of the upper class with whom I had become acquainted, the life of a vagabond may have seemed debasing and primitive, their way of living something our ancestors had given up centuries ago. However, from the time I had spent with them I had found the closest thing to family I had ever known before I came to work at the Phantomhive manor, which is why I had persuaded my father to protect Menowin's clan on several occasions when they were being pursued by the Yard or Her Majesty.

"Why is there so much bustling about this morning?" I heard Sebastian mumble after he had to pull me forcibly out of the way of a group of young men who rushed by us carrying various banners and poles.

"Well," I paused, clearing my throat in an attempt to mask the flustered sound of my voice, my ears and cheeks flushing as I swiftly stepped away from where he had pulled me against his chest, continuing, "it is not every day that the daughter of the bare roma gets married."

"I see," he murmured from beside me, leading us to the left side, heading toward the less populated portion of the camp.

"A union between Ker and Farran has been long awaited, so it is no surprise that they are excited."

"Ah, yes," Sebastian began, his tone musing, "I forgot that weddings are generally considered joyous occasions."

"That is the appearance society wishes them to give, though in my limited experience, it seems to be rather the opposite." I quipped, tucking some stray hairs behind my ear.

At this Sebastian chuckled, glancing over towards me, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

"My, my, what a disenchanted opinion from someone your age," he teased, "Isn't the prospect of marriage supposed to be exciting with the promise of everlasting love with a man who will adore you for all of your days?"

I rolled my eyes, my lips quirking in a smirk, casting a sideways glance at him as I replied, "Perhaps I am despondent, but I knew since I came to know the true nature of my father's work that love and happiness would not be the foundation of any future union I may have and my present circumstances have not improved those prospects. Besides, love is not as reliable as romantics would like to believe. Love within a marriage is fleeting at best, even to those who are lucky enough to find it."

"Indeed."

With that, our conversation gave way to silence as we reached the outskirts of the camp. It was the long way round to Madame Esme's tent, but it was also the route by which we would be less likely to be trampled by unobservant young men.

Now that we had been out of doors a few minutes, I had grown accustomed to the sunlight and found that its rays were pleasantly warm, its heat offering the first promise of spring. A ghost of a smile teased my lips as its glow seemed to warm me from within as well and I momentarily closed my eyes as I allowed the rays to wash away the hollowness that our previous conversation had carved within my chest. As we continued, I stole a glance over to Sebastian, my mind recalling Ciel's offer to promote me to head housekeeper and I wondered what he had meant when he had said we might be placed in situations in which implicit trust would be necessary. In the past several months since I had come to know Sebastian, there was much we had weathered together, much we had experienced together, and, truthfully, much I owed him. However, as soon as that thought had crossed my mind, images from the training we had done several weeks ago flashed through my mind. I could almost feel the painful bite of the bark against my back as Sebastian's heated words echoed in my thoughts… _Do not give me reason to add you to my list of grievances…if you cannot accept my standards, then leave…do not make me waste any more of my time…_

I looked down, my brow furrowing as I recalled how he had seemingly disappeared that night at Lord Amesworth's. Where had he been? Why had he left Ciel and I in such a vulnerable position? Surely that would have been one of the times I should have been able to rely on him, yet he had been painfully absent, an absence which had almost cost Ciel and I our lives. Which begged the question that grew increasingly pressing in my thoughts…could I trust Sebastian?

"Sarah," Sebastian began, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Yes?" I asked as I turned my attention towards him.

"Earlier when the young lord explained his plans to depart tomorrow, you seemed to be displeased by the news," he paused, his crimson gaze capturing mine as he continued, "Why is that?"

"Because I would be leaving people I care for very deeply."

Sebastian's eyebrow raised, his expression remaining otherwise expressionless in response.

"Oh, I forgot that you have never really had friends before," I mumbled to myself, my brain whirring as it attempted to conjure an explanation Sebastian might be able to understand. I chewed my bottom lip, finding myself at a loss as we finally approached the entrance to Madame Esme's tent.

"Well," I hesitantly continued, "many of these people are dear friends and when you have to be parted from dear friends it can be terribly painful because you love them and will miss their presence."

Sebastian frowned in concentration at my attempt of a clarifying explanation.

"I am afraid I still do not understand."

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose and closing my eyes, whether it was from frustration or disbelief at the emotional ineptitude of the man before me, I could not be sure.

"How about this," I began, looking back up at him as I tried again, "Have you ever had someone in your life that was so important to you that you would do anything to see them safe and that, if something harmful should happen to them or should you become separated from that person, you would miss them greatly?"

"Yes."

I started with shock at such a quick and definite confession, seeing as he was struggling with comprehending something like love but a few moments ago. In fact, I was so surprised by this that I could not stop the intruding question that came from my lips.

"Who?"

He took a step towards me, his gaze intense and unwavering as he answered, "You."

Any response I might have uttered then was cut off as the tent flap behind me was pulled back, followed by Madame Esme's hand on my shoulder.

"Well, t'ere ye are. I t'was afraid yer breakfast was gonna get cold b'fore ye could eat it. Com'a in, com'a in."

Her words seemed as if they were spoken from somewhere far away, everything else around me muted in the wake of my pounding heart. My breath was hurried, all ability to respond seemingly taken from me, as I continued to stare at Sebastian, my lips parted in disbelief as I attempted to process the meaning of what he had just spoken.

"My apologies, Madame Esme," Sebastian began, a polite smile coming to his face as he turned his gaze to the elderly woman who had come to stand next to me, "I will not be partaking in the breakfast you have so generously prepared as I have a previous engagement. Please forgive my rudeness."

"I'm willin' te forgive ye of more than tha'," she teased with an impish smile and a wink, to which Sebastian chuckled.

"Very well. Now, Sarah," he called, drawing his attention back to me.

"Yes?" I answered breathlessly.

"I will return around one. When I return I plan to train you until we need to begin preparing for the wedding celebrations."

"Yes, sir." I whispered, nodding in acknowledgement.

At this Sebastian's lips quirked with a curious smirk as he bowed, his gaze never leaving mine before he turned on his heel and began walking away.

"Now wha' was all that 'bout?" Madame Esme asked, putting her hands on her hips as we both continued to watch Sebastian's retreating figure, "Ye looked like he had jus' told ye sometin surprisin'."

"That is because he did." I frowned as I mumbled, my words coming slowly.

"Wha' could tha' have been?"

I swallowed, disbelief almost silencing my words as I softly replied, the revelation striking me anew as I spoke the words, "He cares about me."

/

The energetic melody of the fiddles and rhythm of the beats of the drums made my heart soar. I closed my eyes as I spun about, bare foot and my hair let down, as I allowed the music and wine to lift my cares for the night. All around me was light and joy, a stark contrast to the circumstances which usually surrounded me. Other than the mundane events of my everyday duties, I was often at the end of things-death, darkness, and fear being more common companions as I served my purpose both for my Queen and my master. But tonight…tonight was different. Tonight was to celebrate the union of two young lovers. Tonight was about hope and love and the future. Tonight was about celebrating life.

An irrepressible smile spread across my face as strong hands firmly gripped my waist, followed by Menowin's low voice whispering in my ear, "I wish ye din'na have to leave tommora."

My heart thrilled within my chest as he pulled me back against him as our bodies continued to move to the music before he continued, "This life seems to suit ye, much more than the stuffy life ye live wit' yer master."

"I know," I sighed, running my fingers through my hair as Menowin's hands grazed over my silk bodice before securing on my waist once more, "I wish I did not have to choose…but I need to be close to the ones I love."

"What about me?" he prodded, causing me to chew on my bottom lip as his hips moved against me.

I pulled away from his touch, stopping to turn towards him, my heart clenching as I saw the disappointment he tried to hide in his gaze.

"It is not as simple as that," I paused, my gaze flitting over to where Sebastian was serving Ciel a fresh beverage, my chest growing warm, my face glowing with affection as I looked at the two, "I have something I wish to protect."

The music faded, my vision of things clouding over until it refocused on a different scene from the evening.

Sebastian, Menowin, and I's laughter pealed over the continuing music, tears pricking my eyes as I clutched my sides. Across the sea of dancers, our attention had been captured by Ciel who was desperately trying to free himself from the attention of two young ladies who were intent on persuading him to dance with at least one of them. The young earl's face had flushed a hysterical shade of crimson as both the girls gently stroked his face and arms, trying to lure him with the best flirtatious charms that twelve year old girls could muster, completely ignoring his stammering protests.

"You weren't lying, Sebastian," I laughed before taking another sip of the wine he offered me, "Our lordship is rather inept when it comes to the fairer sex."

He flung his head back, his face bright with humor as he let out one of the few genuine laughs I had ever heard come from the butler.

"Desperately inept."

A fresh wave of laughter washed over us as one of the girls forcibly took hold of Ciel's hands and placed them on her waist before wrapping her arms about his neck. At this, Ciel's body went rigid, his gaze snapping toward our direction. Even from such a distance I could sense the heat of his anger before his mouth formed the call of Sebastian's name.

"Oh dear," I began as he stood with a sigh, placing his wine glass on the ground beside me, "it looks like he needs rescuing."

"Do you think I should wait to save him?" Sebastian teased as he cast me a playful look.

My mischievous smirk mirrored his own before I let out a dejected sigh, reclining on my elbows as I quipped, "I would advise against it. It will make the coach ride home all the more unpleasant if he is cross."

"What a shame," Sebastian sighed, "I do enjoy watching him squirm."

Once more, the music became louder, all emotions heightened as my mind's eye turned to yet another scene. The music that dictated our movements seemed afar off compared to the racing of my heart. At this point not even the music was important. All that mattered was the rhythm of our bodies and the electricity that seemed to spark on my skin with every touch of Sebastian's fingers which fueled the surging heat that coursed through me, threatening to incinerate me from within. All conversation had died between us long ago, no language needing to be spoken. Rather, our bodies moved in synched tandem, each movement answered in kind by the other, each movement adding heat to the smoldering tension that grew between us, threatening to snap at any moment.

With a flick of his hand, Sebastian spun me away from him, only to bring me to him a moment later. I gasped as he pulled me forcibly against his frame, our hips rotating together to the slow, sensual tones of the music. A slow building shiver traveled down my spine in the wake of the path of his fingertips as they trailed down my back. I closed my eyes, my back arching as his touch traveled lower until his hands reached my waist. As he took hold of my waist, I slowly ghosted my fingers over the exposed flesh of his chest that the traditional vest allowed to be seen, a subtle smirk of satisfaction on my lips when his grip on my waist tightened in response to my touch.

Any voice of caution had been silenced by the wine I had imbibed during the course of the evening. Normally I would not have allowed for such vulnerability, however, with both Sebastian and Menowin here, I felt safe enough to allow my inhibitions to be cast aside and for just one night, to be free.

Out of curiosity, I ran my fingers through the soft, silky strands of Sebastian's raven locks. I watched his face with intrigue as he closed his eyes, seeming to relish in my touch. Continued interest spurred me forward as I grasped a handful of his hair and gave a forcible enough of a tug to pull his head back somewhat. At this, his lips parted, his eyes still closed as a sensual sigh escaped his lips. It was such a pleasing sound that, when his grip tightened on my waist and pulled me towards him so that our hips were no longer moving in tandem, but rather grinding against each other, I feared that all resolve to resist him as a lover would break completely.

When I lessened my grip on his hair, he opened his eyes and gazed down at me, his eyes seeming to glow in the brightness of the firelight and smolder with desire. Seeing him in such a state was something to behold and I found I was in awe of the sight before me.

Unexpectedly he bent slightly to bringing his lips to my ear. I shivered, my back stiffening as his heated breath tickled the sensitive parts of my skin before he whispered, his voice so gravelly it was almost a growl, "How can you do this to me?"

Any further words he spoke were muffled by a distant chiming. I frowned as I tried to place the noise, slowly coming to the realization that the chiming was not from my dream, but rather the church bell towers. My brows furrowed as I counted the chiming as it echoed over the otherwise silent landscape, unwilling to open my eyes just yet.

One…two…three…four…five…six…seven…eight. I sighed as I attempted to resign myself to the reality that I had no choice but to rise soon. It was a dismal thought, and one that I did not want to face. I greatly preferred the prospect of returning to the memories of last night. Though doing so was more difficult than I wanted for, as soon as I breathed in a pleasant mixture of the scents of cinnamon and pine, I found my body relaxing back into the warmth that surrounded me, all will to move leaving as quickly as it had come. Rather, I wrapped my arms more securely around the form beside me and nuzzled my face against the smooth material on which my head rested as my right leg entangled even more with another set of legs, gooseflesh ghosting over the skin of my leg as my skirt rose even higher.

 **Wait.** My thoughts halted as a pair of strong arms tightened about my waist. **Legs?**

"Mmmm," Menowin's voice groaned in my ear, his warm breath tickling my ear as he nuzzled his nose against my neck, which sent a subtle shiver down my spine, "Stop movin' so much."

At his words, my eyes shot open, my heart pounding as my thoughts raced in confusion. How did I end up sleeping with Menowin? Though the greater shock came when I cautiously tried to rise, for when I managed to prop myself up on my left side, I realized I had been resting my head on none other than Sebastian's chest, which I found was delightfully smooth, but also shirtless. I ran my right hand through my hair, it tickling my bare shoulders as it cascaded down my back, my cheeks growing warmer by the second as my gaze traveled from Sebastian's peacefully resting face and down his torso. Even in such a relaxed state, the muscles of his chest and abdomen were clearly defined and, as my gaze continued even lower, he had an alluring indent on either side of his hips which begged the onlooker to look further down. To my relief I was unable to do so since he was, thankfully, still wearing his trousers.

"Good morning," his groggy voice rumbled, snapping my attention back to his face.

"Good morning," I barely managed to whisper in return.

With how Sebastian lay on the ground beside me, his raven locks messy, a rare flush on his cheeks, his eyes still half lidded and clouded with slumber, he looked breathtakingly sensual and I found myself at a loss for words. Without thinking, my hand moved seemingly of its own accord, anticipation bating my breath as I reached to touch his face. In that moment all I wanted to do was to touch him, to feel the powerful movements of his muscles beneath my fingertips as I had last night, to feel him overtake me as he pressed his full lips against mine.

From across the tent I heard Ciel give a groan and my attention snapped to him, fear shooting through my veins at the thought of what he might have seen. Fortunately the sound was only made out of slumber as he rolled over to face away from us. However, this was enough to shock me out of the spell I had been under but a few moments ago and Sebastian frowned in disappointment as I began to make to stand, and placed a staying hand gingerly on my thigh.

"Please don't get up," he soothed, the rich velvet tones of his voice calming my anxieties, "There is nothing to fear."

"Sebastian, I…-," I began, but was cut off when he placed a silencing finger on my lips.

"Just a moment longer, if I may," he whispered, his hand moving to tuck some of my hair behind my ear as he continued, his voice soft, his tone almost adoring, "It is not often that I get the privilege of waking beside you."

My stomach tensed with nervousness as I silently wondered what had come over Sebastian that he was acting so gentle…so sentimental. It was odd and I didn't know if I particularly liked it.

"We should rise, though. It is past eight o'clock," I prodded, Sebastian's gaze halting as it roamed my body.

For a moment he said nothing, choosing instead to drape the loose fabric of my skirt back across my leg, which I had detangled from his earlier, before sighing.

"You are right," he conceded, rising so he sat up as well, our faces inches apart as he did so, "His lordship will want to leave soon."

At these words, I felt a weight being lifted from my waist. The bleary, indignant "Hey!" that followed revealed that Sebastian had unceremoniously removed Menowin's grip from my waist. A satisfied grin came to Sebastian's face at Menowin's objection as he rose and retrieved his uniform from where it hung by my suit so he could change from his traditional wedding attire. Not before he gave me another enticing view of his body, the view of his muscular shoulders and back just as pleasing as his front, as he sauntered over to the changing screen.

Before I could make to rise, Menowin's muscular arms found their way around my waist once more, the chill of the morning being warded off once more as he pulled me back against his chest.

"Mmmmh," he hummed as he rested his chin on my right shoulder, sleep deepening his voice more than normal, the sound sending a curious shiver down my back as he continued, "I'm gonna miss this."

A gentle smile ghosted on my lips and I gave his forearms a slight squeeze as I murmured softly, "Good morning, Menowin. I trust you slept well?"

He chuckled at my question, the sound of it vibrating against my back before he answered, "Now tha's more like ye. Always so prim an' proper," he paused, lowering his voice to whisper in my ear, "Unlike las' nigh'. Now there's a side of ye I've never seen befo'."

My back stiffened at his comment, my heart jumping as my mind began to race with worry as I tried to recount any of my behavior that would have been deemed lecherous or unbecoming, but I could not recall. After the ceremony, the celebrations had commenced. I had my fill of food and wine, too much perhaps, but I would not allow myself to regret such a liberating evening. Moving on in the memories of the night, my cheeks warmed as I called to remembrance the moments of dancing I had shared with Menowin and Sebastian.

"Now you know why I do not drink often…and not in mixed company at that." I replied sheepishly.

The heat of my embarrassment spread down my neck and to my ears as Menowin gave a hearty laugh at my humiliation.

"Tere's nothin' to be ashamed of. Everyone's gotta let loose every once an' awhile."

I picked at the hem of my plum and emerald colored skirt, unable to rid myself of the nagging worry that had sprung to life the moment I had woken between the two men. My brows furrowed with concentration as I stared at the spot where Sebastian had been laying but a few minutes ago as I desperately tried to remember what had happened after we all had retired to Menowin's tent for the night.

"Nothing happened last night, right?" I whispered, almost inaudibly.

"Wha' was tha'?" Menowin asked and, despite me thinking it was not possible, managed to pull me closer to him.

I bowed my head, fixing my gaze on a particularly interesting piece of grass, thumbing at the skirt with greater determination and I restated, stammering as I tried to speak the words, "Nothing happened last night…you know…between us? Between the three of us?"

"Oh, so tha's wha's got yer pretty little head all worried?" he murmured gently, rubbing his thumbs against my sides soothingly as he continued, "No, nothin' happened last night. Not between ye and me. Not between teh three of us. Though," he paused again as Sebastian emerged from behind the blind.

My blood ran cold as his eyes fixed on where Menowin and I reclined together. Not in all my time working at the Phantomhive manor had I seen Sebastian so absolutely livid, not even when Mr. Woodley had visited. I was powerless to do anything but stare as I watched his body immediately tense, his hands clenching as his eyes flashed with a murderous fury.

I jumped as Menowin's nose brushed up against my ear once more before he continued, seemingly unfazed by the eminent death that awaited him, "I canna speak for wha' happened between ye and yer butler friend. Maybe…," he paused again, his voice light with amusement as he quipped, "Nah, he's much too up tigh' for anythin' tha' good to have happened to him."

In that moment, I did not know which would kill me first, Sebastian's wrath or the utter mortification I felt at the implication of Menowin's words.

Fortunately, as Sebastian took a step forward, his lips pulled back in a snarl of sorts, Ciel began to stir.

"What the hell is all the bloody noise about?" he grumbled as he sat up and glowered at the three of us, both his eye patch and hair askew.

Ever the dutiful butler, Sebastian immediately came to the young lord's side and set to straightening his eye patch and began to tidy his hair the best he could with his fingers as he answered, "My apologies, my lord. It appears some of the boisterousness from last night has lingered until this morning."

At this, Sebastian paused, both he and his lordship casting Menowin and I fiercely disapproving looks. I recoiled at the ice of their glares and quickly untangled myself from Menowin's hold, scrambling to my feet to stand at attention.

"Nevermind that," Sebastian continued as he helped Ciel to his feet, his gaze never leaving where Menowin was behind me, lethal heat appearing in his eyes once more, "Menowin was about to retrieve us some breakfast."

"No." Ciel cut Sebastian off, "I cannot stomach that gypsy mush for one more day. You will prepare us something to eat and you will do so swiftly. I wish to leave within the hour."

Sebastian's brows twitched with annoyance at Ciel's blunt command, gritting his teeth before plastering a sickly sweet smile on his face, "But, my lord, I am afraid that I will be unable to fulfill such a request with the supplies available to me."

"I don't care," Ciel retorted, angrily brushing off his trousers, "You can do it. Now don't make me wait."

At this Ciel shot Sebastian a glare as if to dare him to offer any further objection to his orders and, for a moment, I thought Sebastian might try to persuade him to see reason. However, a moment later he simply bowed, placing his right hand over his heart as he answered, "As you wish, my lord."

"I will go get yer coach ready." Menowin's voice announced from behind me before he swiftly departed from the tent.

"Very well, then," Sebastian began, turning his attention back to me, "There has been a slight change to plans. Instead of stopping briefly at the townhouse, the young lord would like to return to the manor as quickly as possible. In light of that, I have taken the liberty of retrieving the belongings you had brought with you," at this he paused, nodding to the area behind the changing blind, "Please change and begin preparing his lordship some tea while I see what I can find that would make a suitable breakfast."

"Yes, sir." I answered with a bow of my head.

At my reply, Sebastian nodded and made his way from the tent with the same urgency as Menowin. I sighed softly at his departure, barely containing the urge to roll my eyes as I noticed the frown that reappeared on his face as he left. I was certain his change in expression had something to do with how he had found Menowin and I after he had changed, though I could not ascertain why. Since we had arrived at the camp, there had been an odd tension between the two, something I could only describe as a battle for dominance. What was even more perplexing was the fact that this battle seemed to somehow revolve around me, which both oddly amused and vexed me as I wanted no part of it.

"What are you standing there for?" Ciel snapped, bringing my thoughts sharply to the present and I turned my head from where I had been looking toward the entrance of the tent.

The scowl on his face deepened as I curtsied and, for a moment, it seemed as if he was disappointed that I remained so unaffected by his outburst. Whether he had come to realize it at the time or not, I had grown accustomed to such emotional displays from the young earl, especially in the morning before he had taken his breakfast. It appeared that this morning would not be an exception.

"Does my lord require anything before I begin preparing the tea?"

"No," he growled, almost huffing in frustration as he pulled the blanket he had been sleeping with around his petit shoulders, "Just try to make a half way decent pot. The blends they have are positively dreadful."

I gave no reply save to set about making the tea, pouring some water from a jug we had begun keeping on hand for such a purpose and setting the kettle on the fire to boil, before walking over to the changing blind where I found the bags of my belongings.

As I rummaged through to retrieve the articles of my uniform, I heard Ciel give a dramatic sigh before grumbling, "I cannot wait to be back to the manor. I haven't had a decent cup of tea in weeks. How can people live like this?"

My lips tugged with an amused smile as I began unlacing the bodice, choosing to leave him to his brooding rather than offer a reply. Though, I hoped, my smile faltering at the thought, I hoped that breakfast would help to lift the spirits of all of our traveling company. **If not,** I thought with a grimace, **good heavens it's going to be a long journey.**

/

True to Ciel's expectations, Sebastian managed to acquire some beans, ham, and eggs, which made for a rather pleasant breakfast. Ciel and I had eaten quickly as Menowin had yet to rejoin us, while Sebastian began loading the coach, claiming that he was not hungry at the moment and that he, like his young master, desired to return the manor as swiftly as possible.

Since I had awoken I had been too preoccupied with preparing for our departure to register the impact of those actions. However, as Sebastian worked on securing the last of our belongings to the top of the coach, I turned to gaze over the sea of tents which lay unassumingly in the morning sun. My heart twisted painfully within me and tears pricked my eyes as my eyes roamed over each colorfully decorated abode, doing my best to commit every detail I could to memory. There was no denying that I would miss this place, this people- a people who had seen me through some of the darkest of my hours.

I had not bothered to say any goodbyes last night. The wedding feast was not the place for mournful tears. And I would not give any now, choosing rather to slip quietly away while the ones I loved slept off the joyous celebrations of last night than to begin their day with a painful farewell. Well, save for one.

My eyes scanned the camp once more for any sign of Menowin, chewing my bottom lip as my search proved to be futile. I was running out of time.

"Sarah," Sebastian called from where he helped Ciel into the carriage, "it is time to depart."

I nodded, my heart sinking within my chest at the realization that there was no time left. I wanted to ask that for just a few more minutes, for any chance of saying goodbye to my friend, and, had I been Lady Wakefield, I would have. However, as a maid I had no such right. So instead, I forlornly turned from the camp and slowly made my way to the coach.

"Sarah!" a voice rang across the grounds.

My heart soared at the sound and I immediately turned about just in time to be swept up into Menowin's arms.

"I t'was afraid I'd missed ye," he whispered, his hands smoothing over my hair as he held me in his embrace.

"You almost did," I replied, my voice trembling with emotion as I leaned back so I could look up into his face, "We are about to leave."

My hands gripped his shirt as our eyes met, my heart begging me not to leave him. Just as I had with the camp, my gaze intently traced his face, recording every detail to memory. I knew it would not be long before the bare roma would grow restless and the tribe would move on to the south to France and then to Italy, as they did once the winter weather finally released its icy hold on the country. So I did not know when fate might fancy that we meet again and, as he smiled down at me, the light from the sun catching in his eyes and giving his olive toned skin a copper sheen, I knew I did not want to forget how he looked in this moment.

I started when he wordlessly reached up cupped my cheeks with his warm hands, his thumbs gently brushing away the tears that I had not realized had begun to fall.

"I'm gonna miss ye, Song Bird," he soothed, not bothering to hide the swell of emotion in his own voice, as his brow creased, his emerald eyes pooling with sorrow.

"I will…miss you, too," I choked.

He gave a half-hearted grin at my admittance before reaching into the satchel he had tied about his waist.

"I know I don' have much time, but I had ta give ye this before ye left."

My brow quirked as I curiously eyed his satchel, my ears perking as the sound of clinking metal reached them. Menowin watched me with as much expectation as he began pulling the object from its confines.

"Oh, Menowin!" I gasped, my eyes widening and covering my mouth at the sight of the necklace dangling from his hand.

An irrepressibly bright smile lit his face, clearly pleased with my reaction, but gave no reply.

"I thought I had somehow lost it on the mission," I whispered, my lips curving upward in a smile as well as I reached out to take the emerald jewel in my hand.

"It took some searchin', but I was able to find it," Menowin explained, smile never leaving his face as I gently grazed my thumb over the smooth cut surface, "I thought to give it to ye soona, but I thought it migh' be best as a goodbye present, seein' as how I don' want ye to forget about me. And," he paused, rubbing the back of his neck as he averted his gaze to the ground, "I thought it'd be somethin' perfect to remember me by."

I turned my attention back to him, an amused smile teasing my lips at his explanation.

"You know, that is awfully sentimental, even for you," I teased and, for a moment I could have sworn I saw a hint of pink tint his cheeks.

"Do not agonize over it, though," I soothed, resting a reassuring hand on his shoulder as I continued, "It's perfect…and I shall treasure it."

"Sarah!"

I sighed and glanced back as Sebastian's voice called from where he stood next to the coach.

"Come and get in the coach. We cannot delay any longer."

I sighed again, giving Menowin a sheepish grin as I turned back to him, my heart tugging as I longed for some way to extend this moment though I knew it was impossible to do so. Glancing down at the necklace in my hands, I gave the emerald a few more nervous rubs before tucking it safely away in my coat pocket.

"Well, I hope fate shall smile fondly on us again so we meet again soon," I said, looking back up only to be taken aback as he cupped my left cheek with his hand once more.

My face grew warm at the intimacy of his gesture, finding it impossible to look away as he closed the distance between us, his intense gaze held my own.

"I believe it will," he replied, his voice sure with an odd sense of conviction, before leaning down and pressing his soft, full lips against my forehead.

I smiled, closing my eyes as I allowed myself to soak in the full contentment of the moment. As I took a deep breath, his scent of pine and smoke filled my lungs once last time, calming my sorrows and replacing it with the warmth of love as if it lit me from within. Unfortunately, the moment was over as soon as it came and with an aching heart I found myself crossing the short distance between Menowin to the coach.

My brow raised questioningly as Sebastian held open the coach door, his other hand extended towards me to assist me inside.

"I believe we will encounter some heavy rain on the journey home," he began, casting his gaze towards the cloudless sky as if to somehow explain his prediction, before returning his gaze to me as I placed my hand in his, "so I decided formality could be set aside this once."

"I am pleased such a thing is not an offense to your propriety," I replied, my tone just as toying as my smile as I entered the coach, taking my seat opposite from Ciel.

At first Sebastian said nothing, choosing to give me one of his wickedly mischievous grins instead, but, just as he began closing the door he bent towards me, lowering his voice to ensure I was the only one who could hear him speak as he said, "Of course not. In fact, I am more than willing to forgo the laws of propriety when a situation calls for such action."

Finishing with a wink, he closed the door before I could offer a rebuttal. Though, in all honesty I would not have been capable of a fittingly witty remark at the time as I found myself rendered mute by how flustered I was and the frustration that he had, once again, bested me.

"What was that all about?" Ciel asked, crossing his arms as the coach jolted as we began our journey, sour expression still on his face.

I looked down at my hands, my cheeks warming at his question, "It was nothing, my lord. Just some friendly banter is all."

He gave no further reply save to "tsk" disapprovingly under his breath and, with that, what little conversation had been shared quickly dissolved into silence.

I did not look back as the coach ambled away from the camp. I had resolved some time ago that there was no need to look back on a place as you were leaving it, doing so would only serve to break the heart further.

As we made our way, the teeming, bustling surroundings of the city slowly gave way to the hedges and sprawling fields of the countryside. I rested my head against the headrest as I watched the scenery pass before me. Subtly, I reached into my coat pocket, rubbing my thumb over the cool, smooth surface of the emerald, a sense of calm relaxing me as the coach lumbered down the narrowing country roads. Field by field passed by, marked by various stone walls, all a mixture of grey and brown in the wake of the hard winter. But every so often a farmer could be spotted walking among the otherwise desolate landscape as he searched for the first signs of spring when he could begin breaking ground for the planting season.

True to Sebastian's predictions, the clouds thickened and a steady rain began to fall about two hours into the trip, soon becoming so heavy that I was no longer able to see through the windows of the coach clearly. With a sigh I turned away, briefly wondering as we continued to progress down the road, how Sebastian could see clearly enough to transport us safely. **Though,** I reminded myself as my gaze came to rest on Ciel, who had, thankfully, succumb to slumber some time ago, **he would not do anything to put Ciel in danger.**

 **Or yourself,** my thoughts whispered as I glanced back towards the window, the sheets of water pummeling against the glass now obstructing any view of the outside world. The roar of the rainfall deafened me to any of the sounds of the road and I thought to myself, not for the first time since the weather had changed for the worst, that I owed Sebastian a warm cup of spiced wine when we arrived back at the Phantomhive estate. It was the least I could do for his kindness.

A soft smile graced my lips at the thought. "Kind" was never a word which I would have thought I would use to describe Sebastian, but his actions had been just that. **Yes,** I thought as my gaze softening as it returned once more to Ciel, who had begun stirring in his sleep, **a great many things have changed these past three weeks.**

"Mmmmh," Ciel groaned, propping himself up as he blearily tried to get his wits about him, "Where are we?"

"Last I was able to tell, it will be less than a half an hour longer before we arrive, sir."

He nodded groggily and pushed himself to sit upright. Without needing to be told, I scooted forward, coming to kneel before him, pausing a moment to steady myself against the coach's constant rocking before tending to straightening his appearance. When I began straightening his waistcoat, he opened his mouth, seeming to prepare to object, but instead simply closed it once more and let me tend to him, much to my relief, without any fuss.

"So Sebastian informed me that you intend on taking the position as head housekeeper."

"Yes, my lord."

I glanced up from where I was retying his tie to find him looking down at me, a curious spark shining in his cerulean gaze.

"So I assume this means you two have been able to reconcile any differences that once hindered you two from working together optimally?"

"Yes, my lord," I nodded, giving the lapels of his outer coat a swift tug, "We spoke about the matters at great length and not without some disagreement, but I believe we were able to strike a balance that equally serves both parties."

Ciel nodded, his expression unreadable, as I finished and took my seat once more, "Very good. I am glad to hear you were able to work things out. If I am entirely honest, I was concerned things might not go so well. Sebastian can be rather vague sometimes when it comes to making promises."

I merely nodded in agreement at his odd comment about the butler. Though, thinking back on our conversation last night, I could recall at least four times where I had to press him harder to get him to agree to some of my terms with any binding specificity.

Suddenly, the light coming from outside dimmed drastically and my attention snapped to the window, ready to spring into action if I must. Fortunately, as the windows cleared of the rain and I was able to clearly see through the beads of water that remained, it was only because the coach had come to pass through the dense overgrowth of trees that lined the last drive leading to the mansion.

My heart leapt within me at the thought of finally getting to see Finny, Tanaka, Mey-Rin, and Bard's faces once more. After having been gone for so long I was certain that there would be many stories to be told on either side and many more questions.

"And what about the other item we discussed?" he pressed, a serious frown coming to his face.

My heart shrank within me as quickly as it had sprung to life. I knew that avoiding such discussion was now pointless, but it did not make me dread it any less.

"Once we are settled from our travels, I promise I will tell both you and Sebastian what happened in Italy."

Any response that Ciel might have offered was cut off as the coach came to a stop. I squinted as I tried to see if it was because we had arrived at the mansion, but the view had once again become diminished because of the torrential rain.

Both Ciel and I jumped back as the coach door swung open to reveal a thoroughly soaked Sebastian who was at least carrying an umbrella now to shelter him from the buckets of water that were pouring from the sky.

"We have safely arrived, my lord," he called over the deafening roar, "If you would allow me to carry you inside."

Ciel recoiled as Sebastian swept his arm out to pick up the little earl.

"I shall do no such thing! I will get soaked!"

"I am afraid you shall get soaked either way, my lord," Sebastian reasoned, still waiting for his master to comply, "Walking will only serve to get you more wet."

"Alright," Ciel grumbled, climbing into Sebastian's arms, the grimace on his face making it seem like it disgusted him to touch the butler.

Once Ciel was secured, Sebastian's attention turned to me, "Please go to the servant's entrance and inform the others of our arrival and have Finny retrieve our luggage."

"Yes, sir."

With one last nod from me, Sebastian sprinted up the stairs to the front of the manor, Ciel yelling at him the whole way. I quickly slipped out of my coat and, holding it above my head, ran as quickly as my feet would convey me to the back entrance. Without hesitation I pounded on the door, hoping someone would answer sooner rather than later so I would not become more soaked than I already was.

After what seemed like ages, the door opened to reveal a surprised Tanaka.

"Oh! Welcome back, Miss Sarah." He greeted, side stepping so I could enter.

"Thank you, Tanaka." I said, smiling warmly as he took my coat.

"Hey!" Bard's voice echoed from the servant's hall, "Did you hear that?"

A moment later, three heads popped from the entrance to the servant's hall. Finny, Mey-Rin, and Bard's heads all stacked comically on the other as they peeked out to see who had arrived.

"Sarah!" Mey-Rin and Finny called, practically yelling in their excitement, and ran towards me with outstretched arms.

Before I could react the two plowed into me with such force that the three of us stumbled backward and landed outside on the doorstep. My laughter rang off the stone walls as I tried to blink through the pouring rain, my heart aching with joy at our reunion. Meanwhile the other two seemed to be completely unaffected by the weather, still pinning me to the ground as they clutched me tightly, both of them speaking so quickly most of their questions and comments were unintelligible.

"You were gone for so long." Finny bemoaned.

"We thought you were never coming back!" Mey-Rin's nasally voice added.

"Oh, come off it," Bard sighed from above us.

A moment later the weight of their bodies was literally lifted from my chest as Bard pulled them both to their feet and pushed them inside.

"Tanaka told us yesterday that Sebastian had rung and told him they were coming home today."

"Oh, yeah." Finny agreed with a sheepish giggle.

I chuckled, shaking my head as I accepted Bard's hand to help me to my feet. As much as these three made me want to pull my hair out most days, it was odd to realize how much I had come to miss them while we were away.

Once I was back inside, now completely soaked through, and the door securely shut this time, Bard surprised me as he scooped me into a strong embrace, holding me to him without a care that his clothes would be soiled, too.

"In all seriousness, though," he spoke softly in my ear, his tone conveying what he would not allow the others to see, "welcome back."

I smiled, closing my eyes as I returned his actions with equal meaning. And, taking a deep breath as I rested my chin on his shoulder, I basked in the familiarity of his smell of cigarettes and bread, and whispered just as genuinely, "Thank you. It is good to be home."

 **Author's Note:**

Hello, lovelies! Me again. Just to let you know that the next chapter is _the first huge plot_ chapter so far…we'll finally get to see what happened in Italy! That in mind, I will go ahead and give the disclaimer that the next chapter will contain some graphic depictions of violence and other various violent acts, so this is the official trigger warning. If this kind of content would bother you, please message me after I publish it and I will give you a brief synopsis of what happened.

Future disclaimers aside, please let me know what you thought of this chapter. What do you think of Menowin? What do you think of Sebastian and Menowin's dynamic? How do you think Sebastian and Sarah's relationship will continue from this point? I'd love to hear your thoughts and, if you're not comfortable posting a review, feel free to drop me a message. I appreciate all constructive feedback. I'm looking forward to hearing from you all. Until next time (which hopefully won't be as long as the last time, but at this point I've stopped making promises, just love me and know that I'm still working on it)!


	22. Italy

Author's note:

Hello, lovlies! Iiiiii'm back. A firstly, I would like to apologize for being away for so long. I've had a lot going on in my life since I last posted (surgery, mental health issues, it's been a bucket of fun), so that is what had kept me from writing like I wanted to.

That being said, I have to shout out to everyone who has left reviews and sent me messages in the interlude. You guys have no idea how much it means to me when I hear from you all, even when you are just reaching out to check and see how I'm doing. You guys are really the best! I would like to give a shout out to all of you who left reviews: Asuth20, ThePsychoBeauty, Writer's Obsession, Manon, garnet86, WickedlyMinx, melissal58, Yasmin, Fifi, Aleta Wolff, Caranril, MILo, Lestatsgirl15, and the sweet Portugese Guest reviewer. You are all wonderful.

Now, to the nitty gritty stuff. This chapter is about what happened to Sarah in Italy, so this chapter comes with TRIGGER WARNINGS. So, if any of these apply and would be an issue for you to read, please skip this chapter: questionable self medication, hints at suicidal thoughts, abuse, abduction, drugging, and rape.

Also, I give the disclaimer that I had this whole series of events planned out before the chapters in the manga were released detailing what happened to the Phantomhive family.

I will continue to work on this story, it just might take me awhile to get updates out there, but I will do my hardest to make it worth the wait. If you would like to get updates on progress with the story, you can check out my Instagram page I created for this story called .game. I will put updates there so you guys can have the reassurance that I haven't dropped this story and waltzed off into the sunset and not told anyone.

Well, I believe that's all for me right now. I hope you enjoy!

Chapter Twenty-Two: Italy

"Are you alright?" the question came for what felt like the hundredth time today.

I sighed heavily, biting the inside of my cheek as I gave a curt nod and turned my attention from where Sebastian knelt before me towards the clock that sat upon the mantle. One…two…three…

I counted as I watched the second hand pass its way around the pale circle. Each tick of the hand sounded thunderously in my ears, setting my teeth on edge.

"Are you sure?" Sebastian pressed before reaching and placing his hand over mine with a feather-light touch.

Immediately recoiling from his touch, I drew my hand protectively to my chest, pressing myself further against the back of the chair as I snapped, "I said I'm fine!"

His brows furrowed deeply at my response, saying nothing further, and leaned back to sit on his heels, his eyes appraising my behavior as one might a frightened animal.

I sighed, casting my gaze down as I allowed my hand to slide to my lap, rubbing the fabric of my skirt between my fingers to mask the trembling of my hands as best I could. My heart sank within my chest at the sight of the cuts on my hands as the most recent events of the evening came unbidden to my mind.

As part of my new duties as Housekeeper, I had been making my rounds to ensure everything was running smoothly for the preparations of Ciel's evening activities, which had all gone surprisingly well. Mey-Rin had tidied and prepared the table in his study without event. Finny had tended to the fires about the manor and had even been able to assemble a centerpiece of some of the last winter lilies from the greenhouse with only a few minor questions to me. So, being inwardly grateful for the uncharacteristically disaster free day, I made my way down to the kitchen to see how Bard was getting on.

I sighed softly, relief washing over me as I peeked around the corner of the entryway of the kitchen to find Bard contently seasoning the salmon before placing it in the oven, not a trace of gunpowder in sight. Taking a deep breath as I entered, just to reassure myself that dinner was not under any immediate threat of being charred to the point of being inedible, I smiled slightly as the only scents I could detect were lemon, butter, and sage.

"Everything under control?" I asked in way of announcing my entrance, a slight smile of my own answering the broad one that spread across the cook's face as I came to stand across the table from him.

Bard gave a nod towards the jars of carrots and brussel sprouts as he wiped his hands on a towel, "Yup. Jus' need to prepare the vegetables."

I glanced down at the watch that hung down on the left side of my hip, opposite the large ring of keys that rested on my right. It was only a half an hour before the young master's dinner would need to be ready. I didn't doubt that Bard could finish the preparations in that time, but after having two disasters of a dinner for the Earl this week, I wanted to do what I could to ensure a third offence wasn't committed…at least not this close together.

"Would you like some assistance?"

Bard's face lit up at my suggestion.

"I'm glad you asked. Sebastian asked that I sauté the vegetables with a sauce he taught me to make," he paused, pulling a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket and holding it up for me to see, "But I honestly have no clue how to make it."

I gave him a reassuring smile as I took the paper from him, my eyes quickly scanning the elegant script of Sebastian's handwriting.

"Don't worry," I said, rolling up my sleeves, "Between the two of us, we should be able to make sense of this."

With that, we had set to work to prepare the creamy sauce which Sebastian undoubtedly had requested in order to better persuade Ciel to eat his vegetables. For all of his frosty exterior and calculating wit, the great Earl Ciel Phantomhive was still a child in many ways.

A subtle smile teased my lips as a comfortable silence settled between us. I enjoyed working with Bard. He kept to himself most of the time when he was working, unless there was something on his mind, so I wasn't subjected to the endless, prattling chatter I typically endured when I assisted Mey-Rin or Finny. Normally their naturally talkative nature would not have irritated me so, but since we had returned to the manor, it was as if my nerves had been set on edge. Most days I would jump at the slightest sound. Sleep evaded me as the fleeting moments I captured only gave birth to all too real nightmares. Nightmares which had begun to follow me into my waking moments as well. I could tell from the apprehensively concerned looks from the rest of the servants that they knew something was wrong, but since each of them had rather tainted pasts themselves, they knew better than to ask.

Everything was progressing well, I thought to myself, shaking my head as if to ward off the anxious thoughts that threatened to grow in my mind as I lowered the heat to allow the sauce to simmer before we added the carrots and brussel sprouts. There would be no issue in finishing the preparations on time.

However, it was as I placed the cast iron lid on the pot that some of the condensation from the lid fell into the flames, causing them to sizzle at the same time that I felt a hand being placed on my shoulder and caught the glint from a knife out of the corner of my eye.

I reacted so quickly, I didn't even register that Bard had said "Excuse me" as he retrieved the knife. Instead, an intense, primal fear gripped my chest so hard it was difficult to breathe. In my mind, I was no longer in the kitchen at the Phantomhive manor. I could feel the ropes chaffing my wrists and ankles. I could hear screams of terror echoing in my mind. I couldn't let them hurt me again.

It was as if another force had taken over my body, my hands and feet moving of their own will as I struck out to protect myself, the muscle memory from my lessons with Sebastian proving rather effective. Though my memory of what happened was foggy, I remembered taking my perceived assailant to the floor, my thoughts shouting a singular message to my fear wrought mind: Kill him, kill him, kill him.

It was Sebastian's voice that had pulled me from my fearful haze. As soon as he called out my name, I froze at his commanding tone as if he had dumped icy water on me. I blinked, my mind racing in confusion as I looked down to where Bard lay underneath me. His face was crimson, the blood vessels on the sides of his head pronounced from strain, his mouth moving as if he was calling my name, though no sound was coming out because of the forceful hold I had on his neck.

A moment later, Sebastian jerked me forcefully backwards and wrapped a protective arm around my shoulders, pinning me against him. Bard gave a heaving wheeze before coughing and sputtering as he sat up. Mey-Rin and Finny rushed to his side, hands all over him as they barraged him with questions to ensure he wasn't gravely hurt.

All I could do was watch. Numbness consumed me. It was as if I was watching the scene unfold from outside my body. What had just happened? I wondered, my brows furrowing as I desperately tried to recall.

However, all my wondering thoughts came to a halt as my gaze met Bard's. His eyes were unnerving, some of the blood vessels having burst during my assault. I had expected to see fear in his gaze, anger, confusion, or accusation, but what I saw there was even more disarming than the state of his eyes. I saw sympathy.

My bottom lip began to tremble, the sympathy and concern in his crystal blue eyes rending my heart in two.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, hot tears spilling down my cheeks as Sebastian hoisted me to my feet.

"Come with me," he said in hushed tones before he began leading me from the room.

I stumbled as he moved me forward, blinded by tears and remorse as I looked to where Bard still remained on the floor, apologies spilling from my lips as quickly as my tears the entire time until we had reached Sebastian's office.

"Sorry," I apologized as my thoughts returned to the present, my voice small and defeated as I continued, returning my gaze to where Sebastian sat, "How is Bard?"

"A bit shaken and I gather he will be rather sore for a few days, but no permanent damage was done."

I nodded slowly and averted my gaze once more. As relieved as I was at the news, it did nothing to ease the remorse that consumed me at the moment. A heavy silence fell between us for several minutes, the only sounds that interrupted were the crackling of the fire in the hearth and the incessant ticking of the clock and I set to rubbing the fabric of my skirts with my fingers once more.

"Sarah," Sebastian began, his voice almost tender, "I would like for you to retire early for the night. Go clean yourself up and go to bed."

My head shot up at that, a renewed panic flooding my veins.

"Please don't have me do that. Being alone with my thoughts and sleeping are the worst things for me right now. I need to work."

When he gave no reply, I grasped his hands in my own, setting my pride aside as I pleadingly gazed into his eyes, "Please…I'm begging you."

Though as I searched his gaze for any change in his decision, my heart sunk within my chest, knowing before he spoke that he was not moved otherwise. Rather, he wordlessly rose to his feet and crossed the short distance of his office, pulling a key from his pocket as he stepped behind his desk. He offered no explanation as the lock ground and clicked before opening the door to the wine closet and extracted a bottle.

"I believe it is in the best interest of all of those in the house that you return to your quarters."

The bottle felt heavy in my hands as he handed it to me, the crimson liquid swirling in the bottle as I stared at it. The confusion must have been evident on my face as I looked up to him.

"To help you sleep," he explained, gesturing toward the bottle.

Before I could restrain my tongue, I snorted in disbelief before adding incredulously, "You cannot be serious."

"I didn't think it was an unreasonable suggestion."

My shoulders stiffened at his dismissal, my back straightening as my gaze never wavered from his. I opened my mouth to object, but he cut me off before I could begin.

"You have been in a heightened state since we have returned to the manor, which is probably due partly to the fact that you haven't

been sleeping. Whatever is going on has disturbed you to the point where you assaulted another servant."

I bristled at his last statement and I came to sit at the front of the seat as I cut him off this time, "So your solution is that I self medicate and drink myself to sleep?"

He moved before I could register what had happened, but I suddenly found myself face to face with the butler, his hands on either arm of the chair, his face so close to mine that I could feel the heated waves of his breath against my cheeks. In that moment I knew I had pushed things too far.

"I don't believe that you're in the position to be insisting on your way," he seethed, "As the butler of the Phatomhive estate, one of my responsibilities is to ensure the safety of my master and those he chooses to have under his protection. So I believe I have every right to dictate what you are to do until I can know with certainty that you will not be a danger to yourself or others. Unless you have any other suggestions?"

My gaze never wavered from his as he searched mine as if he were challenging me to object. I wanted to. I wanted to insist that I didn't need to be drugged like some lunatic and confined to my quarters. But there was a part of me that knew deep down that I deserved the skepticism he felt in this moment, so I bit back the cutting objections that burnt my tongue to keep in.

"Very well," he said, his tone a little softer than before despite none of the fire leaving his eyes as he righted himself and straightened his waistcoat, "Now, I suggest that you do as I say and I will consider not telling the young lord of the incident in the kitchen."

I gave him no answer save a curt nod as I rose, wine bottle in hand, before turning on my heel and swiftly leaving his office. Though, as I made my way down the hall, the indignant fury that had sparked to life so quickly sputtered out as quickly as it had come. Consuming guilt and bitterness replaced it, swirling nauseatingly in my gut as I made my way up the servant's stairs to my chamber. With each step, my heart and body seemed to become weighed down more and more until I was no longer walking by the time I reached my chambers, but rather trudging, wine bottle loosely held in my hand as my emotions gave way to a heavy pit of nothingness that settled in my chest.

I shuffled into my room, my movements slow and without thought, as if my body was automatically moving under the guidance of an invisible, outside force. With the wine bottle safely placed on the small bedside table, I gathered my sleeping gown and a fresh change of undergarments before making my way to the shower.

My thoughts clouded over as the sound of the rushing water consumed my attention. How long I remained unmoving underneath the showerhead, my gaze unwavering from the blue and white tile that lined the shower walls, I do not know. The fog over my thoughts didn't break until I began shivering uncontrollably and it was only then that I realized, as I gazed down at my gooseflesh covered arms, that I hadn't washed myself yet. That realization did nothing to prompt any urgency, though. Rather, I washed myself slowly, almost mechanically as the icy water continued to trickle down my trembling frame. My body may have been able to feel the frigidness of the water, but I couldn't.

Some time later I found myself back in my chambers, sitting on my bed as I stared blankly at the fire I didn't remember building in the small hearth. With a sigh I glanced up to the clock that rested on top of the mantle.

"Half past eleven," I whispered hollowly.

I heaved another sigh, dropping my gaze to the floor as I ran my fingers through my long, damp locks. Whether or not Sebastian told Ciel about what had happened in the kitchen, I knew it was only a matter of time before I'd finally have to reveal what had happened in Italy. In all honesty, I was surprised I hadn't had to do so already. Ciel had been so insistent on that being a condition of my contract to become Housekeeper that I had expected to have to disclose the events much earlier. However, there were some items that needed his immediate attention upon our return to the manor, so I had been spared thus far. Though, I didn't know which was worse. Remaining silent and revealing the truth seemed like equal forms of torture anymore.

I raised my gaze from the floor, my sights resting not for the first time on where the wine bottle rested invitingly on the bedside table. As much as I begrudged Sebastian being right, I knew that tonight the only way I would be able to find any rest would be if I used the alcohol's relaxing embrace to lull me into a, hopefully, dreamless sleep. And tonight of all nights I needed something to take my memories away.

With a pop, the cork came loose and I closed my eyes, relishing in the tart sweetness of the cool, crimson liquid as I took a long, deep drink from the bottle. This occasion, this anniversary night, did not call for dainty, lady-like sips. I needed to get drunk...and I needed to do so quickly.

I continued the hurried pace until I had made it through three quarters of the bottle when my head began buzzing with a welcoming comfort and warmth. My eyes began to droop as I took another gulp, the wine allowing me to finally feel the full weight of the exhaustion I had been fighting against. It was almost suffocating, but I welcomed it all the same. This is what I needed. I needed to let go. I needed to escape. I needed to forget.

By the time I polished off the bottle, my head was swimming, but not unpleasantly and I swayed slightly as I set the empty bottle on the floor with a soft thud.

"Whoops." I mumbled as I accidentally knocked the bottle over with enough force that it rolled under the bed.

I didn't bother to retrieve it though. I was too exhausted. Instead, I chose to flop undignified to lay on the bed, resting my hands on my stomach. A contented sigh escaped my lips as I watched the firelight dancing on the ceiling, the changing and morphing shapes of light and shadow intriguing my alcohol clouded mind. I needed to remember to thank Sebastian tomorrow, I thought to myself as I succumbed to the oppressive exhaustion and allowed my eyes to finally droop shut. This was the best I had felt in ages.

As I lay there, the warmth of the wine that spread through my veins worked through my body, relaxing every tension, every anxiety until there was only content peace that remained. If my mind hadn't been buzzing with the tranquil numbness from the wine, I would have cried. Since what had been done to me in Italy, I had never truly been able to experience comfort like this. I had never felt safe enough to do so. So, as the welcoming darkness of sleep gently pulled me into its depths, I drifted from reality with the hopeful thought that for once, even if just for tonight, I wouldn't dream or, that if I did, my dreams would not be filled with the pain, torment, and terror that had come to grip me in either my waking or sleeping.

I was wrong.

The soft lull of music made my ears perk at the sound, followed by conflicting sounds of laughter and conversation. All about me men and women both dressed in brightly colored, lavish adornments spun about the ballroom as the music of the quartet directed the pace of our movements. The warmth and strength of the hand that rested on my hip drew me back to the present. I smiled breathlessly at the handsome man who held me close, despite the fact that the tune that had been playing had now come to an end and we had stopped dancing. He flashed a smile at me in return, his pearly teeth a nice contrast to his olive colored skin. His dark curls framed his face that softened his otherwise strong features, as he looked down, seemingly embarrassed at having forgotten himself before he stepped back from me.

Another smile tugged at my lips as I reached out and lightly touched his arm, leaning in to ensure I was heard over the cacophony of conversations that had replaced the momentary pause in the music.

"Would you like to get a drink? I'm rather parched."

At first I wasn't sure Antoine had heard me, until he gave a quick nod, flashing another smile that would have made any other girl's heart race, and took my hand again, leading me through the maze of people that crowded the border of the ballroom as they waited for the quartet to resume their playing.

Once we had made it to a quieter corner of the room, in a nook close to the hallway leading away from the ballroom, he turned back to face me, enthusiasm sparkling in his eyes once more.

"You may wait here while I acquire us drinks," he said, pausing momentarily as he took a step closer so there was barely any space between our bodies, his intense, dark brown gaze capturing mine as he continued, "Then, once you are fully sated, we can return to dancing."

I gave a nervous laugh, unsure how to respond to his enthusiastic attention.

"I do not believe that would be fair to the other ladies, Lord Belmonte."

A smirk quirked his lips as he leaned in, his lips brushing against my ear as he replied, "I do not care what is fair, Lady Wakefield. I only know what I want and it is you."

With that, he took my gloved hand and gently kissed it, his gaze never leaving mine as he did so. I stood, blushing and dumbfounded at his forwardness. Upon seeing my reaction, a satisfied smile spread across his features and, without a word, he gave a flirtatious wink and disappeared into the crowd.

Once I was sure he was gone, I sighed softly, leaning against the wall as I took out a fan and began fanning myself, relieved by the momentary reprieve.

"My son seems to have taken quite a liking to you," Lord Stephan Belmonte said as he came to stand beside me.

I hastily stood aright, curtseying to the Marquis, my thoughts whirring as I tried to come up with a suitable response.

"He-uh, I…" I stammered, causing Lord Belmonte to crack a smile that was just as perfect as his son's.

"My, my, what has he said to you to make a proper lady such as yourself so flustered?"

I glanced down, feeling the warmth of my blush spread down my neck, before I replied, "There is no reason to be concerned, Lord Belmonte. I'm simply not as familiar with such a forward way of speaking. English men are much more reserved."

He let out a hearty laugh at this, his smile broadening as he shook his head.

"Well, I do hope he did not say anything too untoward. Antoine has a predilection to be rather enthusiastic when it comes to beautiful women," he paused, his gaze breaking from the crowd to me as he took a sip of wine from one of the drinks he held, and continued, "He learned that from me, I'm afraid."

I averted my gaze, fanning myself with more effort, my eyes skimming the crowd to see if I could catch sight of the younger Lord Belmonte. My heart sunk within me as I my search was to no avail.

"It appears that my son is being detained by some of the ladies who want to dance with him," Lord Belmonte began with a chuckle.

My brow furrowed and I stood on the tips of my toes, straining my neck as I tried to see over the heads of the crowd. How had I missed the young lord? However, as my gaze went over to the drink table I saw where Antoine was indeed surrounded by three girls, the slight panic of a cornered animal on his face as they animatedly tried to engage him in conversation.

Poor thing. I thought as I turned toward Lord Belmonte once more, as he continued,

"Your cheeks are flushed. Would you care for a drink?"

I glanced back to where Antoine remained trapped. Resigning myself to the fact that he would be detained for awhile, I smiled at the marquis, before taking the glass he extended to me.

"Yes, thank you."

As I took a sip, I glanced up at Lord Belmonte to find he was watching me with an intense curiosity. A thought of warning flashed through my brain, but it was whisked away as I registered the pleasing flavor of the wine. It was unlike any other wine I had sampled before. It was thicker and it tasted of orange and cedar.

I started as I swallowed the delightful drink, instantly feeling renewed, my weariness from dancing removed completely.

"What is this? The wine from earlier did not taste this delicious."

His eyes lit up at my praise, an excited smile spreading across his face as he replied, "I was hoping you would like it. It is a special blend of my own making."

"It is absolutely delightful!" I praised before eagerly taking another long draw from my glass.

I sighed contentedly as finished drinking the contents of the glass, using my kerchief to dab what remained on my lips away.

"I'm sorry," I apologized sheepishly, handing the glass back to the lord, "That was rather unbecoming of me."

He gave another hearty chuckle at my embarrassment, "Do not concern yourself. You have made me happier than you could know. I have waited for some time for someone to appreciate it."

I smiled at his glee and replied, "Well, I am glad to have been of service."

At this, he looked over to where Antoine stood, his brows creasing slightly as he seemed to be considering something. The hushing of conversation and rustling of garments distracted me momentarily as the guests began filtering onto the ballroom floor once more. For a few seconds, the disjointed tuning of the quartet filled the air before the room became alight with energy as they struck up an enthusiastic tune, the guests becoming a vibrant blur as they moved about the floor. So by the time I glanced back over to Lord Belmonte I found he had returned his attention to me, a curious but unreadable expression on his face. I parted my lips to ask if something was the matter, but before I could voice the concern, he leant in and spoke in my ear.

"Actually, I have some more stored in the library. Would you like to join me? I am a bit weary of all this socialization."

I chewed my bottom lip, unsure as to what I should do. It wouldn't have been the first time I had accompanied Lord Belmonte to his library. He had an interesting collection of books regarding the occult that fascinated me, so most days I could be found pouring over the various tomes, sometimes discussing their contents with the marquis. However, that was when there wasn't a ball happening in Lord Belmonte's manor, where so many eyes could see us slipping away together...and so many minds that could come to their own conclusions. Even though it was known I was a guest at his house, it was amazing how quickly one's reputation may be ruined by one false conclusion.

"I have also acquired a new book that I think you might find intriguing that I wanted to show you." he continued when he saw my hesitation, adding gently, "I will make sure you are back as soon as possible so you can continue dancing with Antoine."

At this, I smiled, nodding in agreement despite my reservations. This was all the permission Lord Belmonte needed.

At my word, another brilliant smile flashed across his features and he gave a commanding "Follow me" before leading me from the ball and down the hallway.

The usually animated lord was uncharacteristically silent as we both wound our way on the familiar path to the area of the house that had become somewhat of a sanctuary to me. I wondered what might be going through his mind as I glanced over and saw his brows furrowed once more, but this time with a look of determination. However, my thoughts did not have time to form into the warning they should have because they were interrupted as we arrived at the library.

I stepped in as he held the door open for me, oblivious as a lamb being led to slaughter. If I had been paying attention, I would've heard the subtle locking of the door over my steps as I walked over to the fireplace.

"Come here, Lady Wakefield." Lord Belmonte gently called, gesturing his hand to beckon me to join him.

Unable to resist the pull of curiosity, I came to stand beside the lord, my gaze resting on the book that had enraptured his attention. It was a fairly small book, adorned only in worn black leather binding, no title adorning even the spine. From where I stood I could smell the musk of age from the pages and, as Lord Belmonte carefully, almost to the point of reverence, opened the front pages the crackling of the spine spoke to the ancient nature of the text.

"Here," he said, stepping to the side so I could have a better look at the contents, "why don't you have a look while I pour you some more wine."

Obediently, I took my place in front of the book, smiling slightly before turning my attention to the yellowed pages. My brows furrowed with concentration as my eyes began to skirt along the lines upon lines of information, page after page filled with some of the darkest information I had consumed thus far in my curious exploration of the occult. Rituals and diagrams of seals which could be used on supernatural beings swam before my vision, all of which could be used in the service of...

"Demons?" I asked, quirking my brow as I glanced over to the lord, who was slipping the wine bottle back into a drawer in his desk..

"Yes," Lord Belmonte affirmed as he stood aright and came to join me once more, continuing as he placed the newly filled wine glass in my hands, "One of the most powerful supernatural beings. As strong as, if not stronger than angels."

He paused, his eyes never leaving mine as I took a large gulp of the wine. I sighed inwardly as a pleasant tingle went down my spine as my senses clouded over with the scent and flavor of the crimson liquid.

"The topic does not bother you, does it?"

"No," I rushed to answer, shaking my head, which had begun to feel a bit woozy, "No, of course not. I find it fascinating, really."

Another wide, pleased smile spread across the handsome lord's face as I took another hearty drink, nodding his head animatedly as he mumbled, more to himself than to me, "Good...good."

"In fact, I found this section particularly interesting," I began, turning my attention toward the book once more. I paused for a moment as the movement made my head spin, my vision momentarily clouding over. After a few emphasized blinks, my vision corrected and I pointed to the text before continuing, "It says here that demons can have both demonic or human mates. I found that odd."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well," I started before I faltered, my knees feeling weak underneath me for a moment.

"Is everything alright, my lady?" Lord Belmonte asked, concern in his eyes as he placed a steadying hand on my arm.

I attempted at what I hoped was a reassuring smile as I managed to stand upright once more.

"Yes, I think all the dancing has me a bit fatigued is all."

I paused, taking a steadying drink before I continued, "As I was saying, I find it odd that a demon would need a mate as I had never heard the lore that they could bear offspring, especially with humans."

"Well, that is because most demonic offspring are born from the union of two demons," Lord Belmonte began, the firelight that shone in his eyes taking on a more sinister light that caused my stomach to clench with a confused unease as he continued, "But a human mate? Why, those are as rare as they come."

My heart jumped within me as he took a predatory step towards me, both my thoughts and my movements clumsy as I backed away from him, wondering at this sudden turn in demeanor. But he did not stop in his slow pursuit, each step measured as he continued his explanation.

"It is uncommon that a human has the ability to bear the seed of a demon, but when one is found, it is a joyous occasion. One that a demon is willing to pay handsomely for. It is said that if a human brings a demon a suitable mate, the demon will not only grant that person with anything their heart desires, but they will also bestow on them an otherwordly sort of power and honor that makes the person a child of the demon."

My heart raced within me as he paused, my eyes wide as I stared at the man in front of me. His eyes shone with a deranged joy that sent terror surging through my veins, but I was helpless. The wine had disarmed me from any of the warning signs of danger and had rendered me incapable of fleeing.

I clutched the edge of the table so hard my knuckles turned white, my legs shaking unsteadily as I tried to stay upright and attempted to come up with some escape plan.

"I apologize, Lord Belmonte, but I am not feeling well." I said, my voice shaking from effort.

"I imagine not." he quipped, a devilish smirk quirking the corner of the lord's mouth as he took a sudden step towards me.

Panic rushed through me and, before I could stop myself, I let go of the table, my legs immediately collapsing beneath me. I blinked a couple of times up at the ceiling as I tried to regain my bearings, though it was to no avail.

Get up! My mind ordered. Run!

My thoughts raced, every fiber of my being screaming to move. It was of no use, I realized as my body remained resolutely planted on the floor. As much as I wanted to, my limbs no longer responded to my brain's commands.

"What did you do?" I whispered, my voice thick with the hot tears that streamed from my eyes.

"Ah," Lord Belmonte whimsically sighed, crouching down next to me so I could see his face, "That would be the conium maculatum."

I gazed up at him in horror as his words sank in.

"You...poisoned me?"

"Only a little. Do not worry yourself," he cooed with a smile, gingerly stroking my hair as he gazed down at me with bizarre admiration, "You will be rendered unconscious soon."

Almost as if by his command, my eyelids began to droop of their own volition. I wanted to fight against the pull to drift from reality, but, much like the incapacitation of the rest of my body, it was a fruitless endeavor.

As my eyes finally closed, I felt a pressure on my shoulders followed by hot breath against my face and neck, Lord Belmonte's deep voice continuing to speak softly in my ear, "And when you wake, you will be welcomed into a reality beyond your wildest dreams."

"What...what do you mean?" I breathed.

Lord Belmonte's chuckle echoed hauntingly in my mind as I sank into the warm depths of unconsciousness, it's warmth doing nothing to thaw the icy tendrils of fear that wrapped around my heart when he whispered, "I am taking you to see Father."

/

Darkness. Thick, oppressive darkness was what I awoke to...and silence. I blinked several times, trying to see something, anything that might reveal where I was, but nothing came. Feeling began creeping back as I slowly returned to full consciousness, unwelcome feeling as my head throbbed and my back ached as if I had been laying on it for too long.

To the right, I hear something scuffle. My head snapped in the direction of the sound, my heart soaring with hope.

"Help, please! Someone help me!" I cried, my voice echoing into the void.

I waited for a response, praying to God that someone was there, that someone would come to help me. Another sound of shuffling came from my left, my heart thrilling with hope. Now, I thought to myself, I just needed to get to them.

As I tried to rise, all hope died within me as I quickly found I could not, for my arms and legs were stretched out, my wrists and ankles bound tightly to whatever I was laying on. A fresh surge a panic rushed through my veins as I began to violently struggle against my bonds. My once pleas became frantic shrieks.

"My lord," a small whisper spoke from the darkness, silencing my cries as I strained to hear what was being said, "She is awake."

The roar of flames made me jump and recoil, the brightness stinging my eyes, the heat so intense it was as if it was searing my skin. Gasps and cries of wonder and excitement filled the room. I squinted as my eyes darted back and forth, but all I could see were the silhouettes of people in the distance surrounding me, their forms becoming clearer by the second. I turned my head and clamped my eyes shut in the false hope that it would help quell the fear that both paralyzed me and shook my body from the inside out. From above the sizzling and crackling of the fire, the voices I heard came nearer, their words becoming clearer as they approached.

"Perfect, absolutely perfect."

"She is the best specimen we have found. I am sure this one will work."

"Of course she'll work, Lord Belmonte chose her specifically."

"Yes, Father will be most pleased."

My eyes shot open at their words, recoiling once more until my eyes adjusted to the overpowering light. I could not see those who gazed down at me from above the flames, but I could feel their eyes boring greedily into my now naked body. My bottom lip began to quiver, fresh tears spilling from my eyes.

Movement at my feet caught my attention and my gaze snapped to where the movement had originated just in time to see the flames part. For a moment I thought my heart had stopped when I saw Lord Belmonte materialize from the darkness. All rational thought left me as I did everything I could to struggle against my bonds. I wanted to shout at him, curse him for his madness. But all my efforts and desires were for naught. Instead, I could only look on in terrorized horror as he measured each step as he approached me, his eyes shimmering with dark intent.

My cries for mercy were no longer voiced with the human language, but rather morphed into something akin to strangled animalistic shrieks and whimpers. As he came to stand beside me where I lay, trapped, he held a quieting finger against his lips.

"Shhh," he shushed.

Knowing that there was no point in resisting, I silenced myself as best I could, though the trembling of my body and rattling of my breath still gave voice to the fear that surged within me.

"Much better," he approved, a wicked smile flashing across his face, "It is much easier to complete the ritual when you are calm."

From within the pocket of the cloak he wore, he pulled out a knife, its cold blade glowing mercilessly in the firelight. A series of panicked whimpers escaped my lips as he rose the knife in the air, shuffling around in a circle as if to give the onlookers an opportunity to appreciate the deadly instrument.

"What do you think, brothers and sisters?" He began. His commanding voice silencing the whispering that had continued from the others until now. "Where should I mark this beautiful creature? Where should I mark her for our Father?"

The harsh sound of excited whispers joined the roar of the flames as suggestions issued forth in a disorderly tumult. Some said my face, others said my shoulders or back, others still suggested my breasts or stomach, even my womanhood was mentioned. I watched his face shine with approval at each idea, one more depraved than the next. My stomach roiled with horror and disgust as I could do nothing but hope wherever I would be marked would not be too painful.

The suggestions continued until, over the cacophony, a booming voice issued.

"You are the one who bears Father's approval. Where do you think she should be marked?"

I froze, my body growing stiff as he returned his gaze to me.

"Where indeed?" he absentmindedly asked as he lowered the knife to hold it loosely against the soft skin of my neck.

My breathing came in shallow gasps as I tried not to move and he began to delicately drag the blade down my body. The knife ghosted across my skin, just enough to leave a pink, irritated trail wherever it scratched my skin, but not enough to cut through to make me bleed.

"It should be somewhere," he paused, his gaze lustily burning where the blade rested between my breasts.

A hungry smirk tugged at his lips as he continued to stare. I averted my gaze, looking down in shame, only to have my stomach roil once more in disgust as I saw his hardness pressing against the confines of his pants.

When he spoke again, his tone had lowered a full octave, his voice rough as he continued to trail the blade down my body, "Somewhere intimate…somewhere that, when he sees it, he'll look upon you as the gift you are."

He paused, the knife just below my navel, before his gaze snapped back up to mine. His eyes were hungry, his pupils blown with desire. My bottom lip quivered as I could do nothing but gaze up at the man who I had come to love and trust as a father. A man who should have done everything to protect me, to shelter me from the terrors of the world. Instead he had stripped me bare and was preparing to feed me to it.

"Please." I entreated him, my voice barely above a whisper.

He gave no answer other than to change the grip on the knife so he held it securely in his hand. Gooseflesh appeared on my skin as he slowly began sliding his hands down my legs, his gaze never leaving mine as they traveled lower and lower.

"Please...don't." I pleaded in desperation as his hands came to rest on my knees, his feather light touch gone as he gripped them with earnest.

"No!" I whimpered in objection as he ripped my legs apart.

Any resistance I voiced was cut off when the agonized screams ripped my throat raw as he began to carve into the tender skin of my inner thigh without hesitation. Shouts of joy and excitement joined in with my screams as the onlookers reveled in my torment. Tears completely clouded my vision as the searing pain of the knife slicing through my skin continued. Please…my thoughts begged…make it stop. The torment seemed to go on for hours, each deft movement more agonizing than the last. The hot, sticky wetness of blood flowed from my wound and soon coated my inner thighs, the back of my left leg, and my rear. Stop... But he did not stop. He would not stop. Not yet. Not until I was marked for Father.

My screams subsided to loud sobs when he finished his work and released my legs. My arms pulled against the restraints as I instinctively tried to reach to touch the angry wound, which pulsed with aching pain in time with my heartbeat. A second later a large hand closed around my throat, cutting off my sobs.

"There," he growled menacingly in my ear, his breath hot and heavy against the side of my face, tightening his grip on my throat before he continued, "Now you are forever marked as his. No man would dare to consider claiming you as his own once he sees this mark."

Coughs wracked my frame when he finally released my throat as I gulped down as much air as I could. He stepped away, just far enough that I couldn't see him, but I could feel his presence all the same.

"Bring the Father's blood." his voice boomed over the excitable chatter, silencing it once more.

Even though my brain was clouded over with the heavy fog of pain, another wave of terror surged through me. I strained to try to see what was happening just outside my range of view, but I could not see anything until Lord Belmonte returned to my side, wine cup in hand.

"Please don't make me drink that," I croaked, my eyes begging him to reconsider.

"Why?" he asked with a smirk, "You had no trouble drinking it before."

My eyes widened as I was struck by the shock of realization...the wine.

Lord Belmonte's smirk widened to an impish grin, "How else do you think I knew you would be a perfect choice. A perfect mate

for Father?" he paused, lowering the cup to rest against my lips and, grabbing a fistful of my hair, commanded, "Now, drink."

As my gaze searched his, I realized that there was no use in fighting. I could go ahead and drink or I could resist and be forced to drink, either option led to the same end. So, I tentatively parted my lips taking a sip of the crimson liquid. My stomach roiled in disgust as the familiar taste of orange and cedar still pleased my senses.

"Now that's a good girl." he cooed, offering me a gentle smile as he removed the glass and set it beside me on the stone table.

Reaching to somewhere I couldn't see, he retrieved a cloth and gently wiped my lips clean of the excess blood. I stared up in disbelief at the tenderness of the man who had just butchered my leg. What was going on?

"I will clean your mark now."

I winced, my body tense as I prepared for the pain that would surely come from cleaning a fresh wound, but it never came. Instead, the pressure and the cleansing coolness of the damp cloth against my skin were the only sensations I felt. Straining my neck, I looked down, trying to see what Lord Belmonte was doing, but there was nothing out of sorts. He simply looked like a man who was wiping blood off someone's body, nothing more. Why didn't it hurt? Had he drugged me again?

After another minute or so of cleaning from my thighs and rear, he took a step back, a smile of satisfaction on his face as his eyes roamed my body.

"Perfect," he whispered to himself, his voice full of sickening adoration, "Absolutely perfect."

As he turned towards the crowd beyond the flames, I foolishly hoped that whatever ritual that was taking place was now complete and the worst was now over. Maybe they would leave me and I would have time to escape before the mysterious Father arrived. It would be difficult since I did not know where I was. Even with the flames, I couldn't see more than a few large stone columns which could've been in any grand building. But I would try. I couldn't give up.

Whatever flicker of hope died as Lord Belmonte raised his hands in the air, the room descending into ominous silence once more.

"Brothers and sisters, today is a day that we have awaited for some time. We have struggled for years to find a gift worthy of our Father. Our efforts have required sacrifice. Much searching and many a maiden's blood has been spilt to get us to this day, this magnificent day of reunion," he paused to allow the crowd's sounds of approval to be given word before continuing, "It took so long that some of you had begun to doubt...to think that our efforts were for naught. Until we were bestowed this gift. Our Father certainly works in mysterious ways, does he not?"

More sounds of agreement echoed in the air.

"But today, all of our sacrifice, pain, and longing will be rewarded. When Father sees what we have done for him, he will reward us with power."

Lord Belmonte paused as the crowd answered with a resounding "Yes!"

"With wealth!"

"Yes!"

"With beauty!"

"Yes!"

"With immortality!"

"Yes!"

Lord Belmonte looked around the room and, although I could not see his face, I could tell he was beaming with pride. The air in the room sparked with the lightning of their energy, my fear surging with the swelling of their maniacal excitement.

"Brothers and sisters," he boomed once more, "are you ready for the final preparations of this mate for our Father?"

"Yes!" they roared in reply.

"Then let the Defilement begin!"

At his words, the flames that had surrounded me shot up to the ceiling, lighting the chandeliers that hung above. In the new, less oppressive light, I could clearly see what was happening. A large group of nobles surrounded me, each shedding their robes to stand naked in the golden firelight. A whimper escaped my lips as they soundlessly approached until they surrounded me on every side, their presence oppressive and hungry.

"Please," I begged, "don't do this. I am a virgin. You should save me for Father."

"Oh, you precious thing," a beautiful blonde woman beside me soothed, reaching out and gently caressing my face before allowing her hand to trail down my neck and to my right breast, "You forget that Father is a demon. He wants you to be anything but pure."

As she gave my breast a firm squeeze, nausea rolled my stomach as dread settled heavy within me.

"Lord Belmonte," she called, all eyes turning to the strongly built man who had moved to kneel in between my legs while the woman had distracted me, "would you like to do the honors?"

A depraved grin spread across what should have been a handsome face. As my gaze traveled down his well built body to the heavy erection that protruded from his body, I knew his answer before he spoke it.

"Of course, Natasha," he replied as he settled himself between my legs, his erection already painful where it pressed against me, and lowered himself onto his forearms and leaned down to whisper in my ear, "I've fantasized about this moment for some time."

I cried out as a piercing pain shot from between my legs and up my spine as he thrust into me.

"Sarah." he moaned, kissing my body where he could around the other hands and mouths that touched, kissed, bit, licked, and pinched my skin.

Tears streamed ceaselessly from my eyes as with each thrust, a new sharp pain sent my back rigid and stole my breath from me. All around me, wanton moans and words filled the air.

"Look at her, she's delicious."

"I can't wait to make her scream."

"I want her to taste me on her tongue."

"Oh, Sarah, you're so perfect," Lord Belmonte sighed in my ear, before giving a particularly pointed thrust as if to emphasize his next words, "so tight…"

His thrusts never slowed, but steadily kept building as he ignored my screams, my pleas, and my tears. If anything, I think they spurred him on.

As I looked up, Lord Belmonte was replaced with the faces and bodies of all the men and women who defiled me that day. Every single one who thrust within me...who made me take their cock in my mouth...who made me lick their cunt. Every detail seared into my memory forever. I didn't need a physical mark to know that I could never be claimed by another.

Suddenly, my ears perked and I could have sworn I heard someone call my name, not in desire, but in earnest, as if they were trying to reach me. I must have been mistaken, for no one had come to save me on that night.

"Sarah." Lord Belmonte's moan filled my ears once more, his voice full of earnest as he quickened his pace.

"Sarah!" I heard a familiar voice call, but I could not answer it.

Lord Belmonte's thrusts became erratic as he reached his climax.

"Sarah!" I heard a woman cry.

I felt my stomach's contents come up my throat as Lord Belmonte's seed spread within me.

"Sarah!"

Cold sweat soaked my trembling frame as I blindly reached for my washing basin and began to wretch, unable to stop until I began to cough from the force of the dry heaves. I stared down at the vomit, my breathing coming in frightened gasps as I tried to calm my racing heart.

"Sarah," a voice softly called me back to reality.

A hand gently touched my shoulder, causing me to panic. I whipped around, striking to knock the hand away before recoiling against my headboard. I curled my body into as tight of a ball as I could and covered my head with my hands as I buried my face in the skirt of my nightgown. For several moments there was no other sound except the frantic drumming of my heart and shallow breathing.

Finally, a voice cut through the panicked silence, its gentle, honeyed tones soothing, "Sarah, you are safe. You needn't fear."

"Sebastian?" I asked, my voice raspy, "Is that you?"

"Yes."

I loosened my grip on my head a bit, some of the tension unwinding from my body as I slowly began to realize I was no longer in danger.

"Sarah," Sebastian called softly, "do you know where you are?"

"The Phantomhive manor."

"Very good. Now, do you feel comfortable looking at me?"

I froze at his question and then slowly began to lower my hands. Another minute or so passed until I timidly raised my gaze to look up at the butler, my eyes widening at the sight of him. His hair was disheveled, his shirt torn open, but the most glaring thing I noticed were the angry looking scratch marks that littered his neck and chest. Oddly enough, he did not seem to be bothered by his injuries. Rather, he wore a reassuring smile on his face that didn't quite reach his eyes, which instead held a look of careful assessment.

"Bard," Sebastian called.

"Yes?"

My attention snapped to where the other servants stood huddled in the doorway, their expressions a mixture of concern, anger, and deep sorrow. I flinched, curling my legs fully against my chest again as something moved underneath my pillow. Sebastian's arm moved slowly, extending my gun towards the cook.

"I want you to lock this up somewhere safe until Sarah has need for it again."

Bard rushed over and grabbed the gun with a quiet "Yes, sir" and disappeared without so much as a glance in my direction.

"Mey-Rin. Finny. Bring Sarah some lavender-honey tea and a cool, damp cloth."

Mey-Rin nodded her head and turned to do the butler's bidding before turning back to Finny, who remained planted where he stood, his large green eyes filled with tears as his gaze never left mine.

"C'mon, Finny," Mey-Rin harshly whispered, grabbing him by the wrist before pulling him away.

As their footsteps retreated into the distance, Finny's sobs echoed up the staircase.

"And, Tanaka, please wake the young master and bring him here. Also tell him to bring the box. He will know what it means."

Tanaka bowed in response and silently turned on his heels and disappeared from sight.

Even though no one else stood there, I continued to stare at the doorway, total numbness having now taken over my senses.

"I am going to clean up your wash basin. The young master does not need to see the mess," Sebastian explained, his tone still gentle as he slowly rose to his feet, "I will return soon and then we will get you more presentable."

I only nodded in return, my gaze never wavering from the gaping, empty hole that was visible from the doorway. True to his word, Sebastian reappeared with a now clean washing basin seemingly moments later, before tucking it away.

"Now, lets get you into a fresh nightgown. Can you stand for me?"

I unfolded my body and slowly righted myself to sit on the bed. Everything about my body felt heavy, as if I was made from lead. Everything would be so much easier if they just let me go back to sleep. I thought to myself as my body rose for me, my arms raising above my head so Sebastian could quickly remove my soiled nightgown and slide on a fresh one with the same earnest. At this point, I did not care if Sebastian saw me in only my undergarments. He could not take away anything from me that hadn't already been stolen.

Before I sat back down, he helped me into my nightcoat as well. It would not be proper for me to be seen by Ciel in nothing but my nightgown. As he tied the nightcoat about my waist, my eyes traced over the many gashes I had sliced into his flesh with my fingernails.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, casting my gaze down as I returned to sit on the bed.

"For what?"

I looked up at Sebastian to find his brows furrowed, so I gestured to the markings on his skin as I repeated, "I'm sorry for doing that to you."

"It is nothing. They will heal soon."

Just then Mey-Rin appeared alone, quickly placing the warm tea on my bedside table and handing the cloth to Sebastian before retreating from the room. Before she closed the door behind her, our gazes met, the depth of sorrow I saw reflected in her eyes catching me off guard.

"Here," Sebastian said, calling my attention back to him, before extending the cloth to me, "Wipe your face and then drink some tea. It will help."

As I finished cleaning my face, a knock sounded at the door followed by Tanaka announcing that he had brought the Earl as requested. My attention snapped to the door as Sebastian opened it to let Ciel in. Our gazes locked instantly, his cerulean eye widening as he took in my state. I must've looked like an utter mess, which wasn't too far off point.

Whether or not he thought I did, he did not say, growing up the son of an earl teaching him the value of tact at a very young age. Rather, he quickly thanked Tanaka before dismissing him back to his quarters before Sebastian closed the door.

I moved over to make room for Ciel as my room offered no other seating than the floor. He said nothing for several minutes, choosing to come sit by me before setting a small wooden box on the bed between us instead. My gaze flitted down to the box, my brow furrowing as I wondered what it could have to do with me. I tried to look back up at Ciel, put I quickly averted my gaze from his, my fingers toying with the tie of my nightcoat as I glanced over to where Sebastian stood by the hearth.

"Do you mind if I drink my tea, my lord?" I asked sheepishly, wanting something more productive and less telling than the nervous thumbing of my nightcoat.

"Of course," he nodded and I reached for the teacup, only to have it handed to me by Sebastian.

With a quick word of thanks, I sipped the warm, soothing liquid before setting it on my lap, my hands firmly cupped around the china cup. I knew in part why Ciel was here, I just didn't know if I had the strength to speak it aloud.

As if he could read my thoughts, Ciel shifted where he sat and cleared his throat before beginning, "Now, I'm sure you know why I am here."

"Yes, my lord."

"Very well then," he nodded, "I hate to ask this of you at such a time of clear distress, but this is a prime example of why I need to know exactly what happened in Italy."

I nodded in agreement, choosing to take another sip of the tea than answer aloud.

"So are you prepared to tell me...tell us everything?"

I looked up, my gaze shifting from Ciel to Sebastian, both their expressions unreadable, yet intense as the weight of his question caused my shoulders to slump.

Reluctantly, I nodded as I replied, "I will do my best to."

I sighed heavily, my mouth immediately drying as if it had been stuffed full of cotton, so I took another long sip of tea before I squared my shoulders and began.

"My father sent me to Florence to stay with an old friend of his, Lord Stephan Belmonte while he traveled to America for a three month long mission. I didn't know it at the time, but it was my father's intent that Lord Belmonte's son, Lord Antoine, and I be married and this trip was to see if we could at least coexist amiably," I paused, glancing at Sebastian as he crouched to stoke the fire before waving my hand dismissively, continuing, "But that is not essential to the events that happened. Two months into my stay there, Lord Belmonte held a ball at his manor where he persuaded me to go to the library with him. While we were in there, he drugged me with poison hemlock and told me that the reason he was abducting me was that I was an ideal human to be Father's mate."

"I'm sorry," Ciel interjected, "but who is Father?"

"A demon."

A loud clattering made us both jump, both of us turning toward Sebastian, who had dropped the fire stoker to the floor. He did little more than glance back at us, though his jaw was tense and his voice a little sharp as he said, "My apologies. Do continue."

I opened my mouth to continue, but was cut off again by Ciel.

"So how exactly did this Lord Belmonte know that you were an ideal candidate to be a demon's mate?"

"He said he had given me some of the demon's blood to drink."

There was a loud snap and Ciel and I glanced once more over to the butler, who still faced away from us. Though I could tell from the stiffness of his back and how he held his hands that whatever had been in his hands was now broken. I tentatively watched Sebastian, but when he gave no further response, I continued.

"He said because my body had reacted so positively to Father's blood that indicated I was a candidate to be his mate. If I was not compatible to bear his children, I would've become extremely ill or died when I sampled it."

I paused to take another sip from my cup, my nerves causing me to drain it dry.

"I don't remember anything after that. The next thing I do remember is waking up in total darkness to find myself chained to a stone table and completely naked. That was...that was when they appeared."

"Who?" Ciel prodded.

"Lord Belmonte and the other nobles," I replied, taking a shaky breath before I pressed forward, "That was when Lord Belmonte carved the symbol of the Infinitas on the inside of my upper left thigh to mark me as belonging to Father."

My bottom lip quivered and a few tears escaped unbidden from my eyes, which I roughly wiped away. I looked down to into the empty tea cup, knowing I couldn't look at Ciel nor Sebastian who had now moved to stand behind his master as I confessed this next part.

"And then...and then...they ra…," I paused, my shoulders shaking as I tried to keep the sobs at bay. I glanced up at Ciel, tears streaming down my face, to find unrestrained horror mixed with an understanding sorrow that can only be shared by others who have experienced trauma as well.

"They raped me!" I cried out, unable to hold the sobs back anymore, and buried my face in my hands.

"When you say 'they'," Ciel prodded gently, "who do you mean?"

I glanced up at him from behind my fingers, my lips trembling as I tried to respond.

Ciel's mouth opened in shock as he whispered, almost inaudibly, "Good God...it was all of them."

"Yes," I sobbed loudly, no longer able to stop the words that spilled from my mouth, "Yes, it was all of them. They called it the Defilement. They said Father wouldn't want a pure maiden for a mate and they did everything they could to make sure that didn't happen. They did so many unspeakable things to me. They took me here." I pointed to my lips.

"Here." I gestured to between my legs.

"And here." I gestured to my rear.

At that, a wailing cry came from the very depths of my soul and I began to sob uncontrollably. This was it, this was the moment I had been dreading. The moment I had been doing everything in my power to avoid. The moment when I finally broke.

I don't know how long I cried, but it seemed like a lifetime. Though when my sobs gave way to mournful hiccups to silence, it wasn't because the grief had been shed from my body. It was more that I seemed to have run out of tears. Rather than the tears leaving a soothing comfort behind, only a ragged, angry, black hole remained in my chest-all my scars having been torn open all at once.

"Here." Sebastian's soft voice called me back to the present as he handed me a fresh damp cloth.

"Thank you." I whispered, my voice still thick with sorrow.

I held the cloth to my face, allowing the coolness of it to soothe my puffy eyes.

"Now I have a very important question," Sebastian began, gently pulling my hands and the cloth away from my face, "Are any of them still alive?"

I turned and looked to where he crouched next to me. As I looked into his eyes, they seemed to flash, revealing the burning anger teeming within him. I knew there were no survivors of that event, but, from the wrathful conviction that stared back at me, I knew that if there had been, Sebastian would make sure that each of them met an excruciating, bloody demise.

"No," I answered, shaking my head, "Father appeared a couple of days later, as Lord Belmonte had predicted. But he was not interested in offering them rewards for bringing him a suitable mate. He called them fools and greedy vermin and went on about how he needed to have a willing mate...and then he killed them all and set me free. Though he did so with the promise that he would return for me when he believed I was ready."

"Is that by chance the reasons there have been more attacks on the manor since you came here?" Ciel asked.

"Possibly," I nodded, "but my father had made plenty of enemies in the Underworld, so I probably have a list of people who would want me dead." I paused as the image of my knife piercing the man's throat flashed in my mind, "But I know of at least one attack that happened under the pretense of returning me to Father."

I looked to both Ciel and Sebastian, who were looking at each other, both their brows furrowed with concern before turning back to me.

"It would seem it was probably more than pretense," Sebastian began, reaching between Ciel and I to open the box, and extracted a ring from within and handed it to me, "Do you recognize the symbol engraved under the jewel?"

I squinted, trying to make out the shape in the poor lighting of my room. Bringing it closer to my face, I gasped as the oroborus twisted in the shape of an infinity sign became clear. The scar on my leg tingled at the recognition. I would know that sign anywhere.

"That is the sign of the Infinitas." I affirmed, quickly placing the ring back in the box as if it was cursed, "It is the group that Lord Belmonte and his followers were a part of. It is a group of people who try to attain both political and socio-economic power through supernatural or occult means."

Silence descended on the three of us, each of us in deep thought as we contemplated the implications of all of this new information. Though, as I stared down at the three rings that glinted menacingly in the firelight, an unsettling question formed in my mind.

"Where did you get these?"

"One was discovered in the remains of your home. One we found on Lord Carson. And the last one we found at Lord Amesworth's residence." Sebastian explained, pointing to each ring in turn before continuing, his gaze locking with mine, "So, I believe it is safe to say that since two rings were found in a situation where your abduction was the end goal…"

A sinking terror twisted my insides as I stared down at the rings, "That he is coming for me."

"Yes," Ciel agreed, his tone serious as I turned my attention to his piercing gaze, "and because of that, you have put us all in grave danger."


End file.
